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And now it's time for the Daily Deucebag Pledge.

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Two deucebags and a microphone pledge. I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to download every show.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to grab family members phones and download the show from there.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to go to public computers and download the show from there.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to laugh at all the unfunny jokes.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to lie to all my friends and tell them how good the show is.

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And finally, I, Joe, or Jane listener promise to visit Montrose, Missouri to take advantage of the power plant, campgrounds, and junkyard all within its quarter mile radius.

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Here at Two Deucebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind our journalistic integrity.

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Go ahead and assume we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.

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Not like all those other guys, we can and will lie if it makes the story better.

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Hi all, this is Chicago. I am the most dangerous city in North America. You can't touch me.

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Oh yeah? This is Kansas City here. Hold my beer, bitch.

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Have you ever wondered what something is about? Have you ever looked at something and said,

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I wonder what the origin of that is? Well so have we. That's why we give you The Origin of...

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This is the origin of beer. The first beer in the world was brewed by the ancient Chinese around the year 7000 BC.

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It is known there as Kui. In the West, however, the process was recognized as beer brewing began in the Mesopotamia at the Gadan Tempest settlement

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now in modern day Iran between 3500 and 3100 BC.

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It's not entirely clear whether he had a light version or even a craft beer version of this. Just saying.

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Swimming in toxic masculinity and wiping their ass with politically correct washrags.

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Two Deucebags and a Microphone invade your ear holes in 3...2...1...

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Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.

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Hurry up. King Jong Un is playing Santa at the mall again this year. Yay!

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Now it's time for Pick Up Lines from a Loser.

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Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again?

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Womp womp womp womp.

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Two Deucebags and a Microphone says,

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You ever dream about eating chocolate pudding and wake up with a spoon in your ass?

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Just asking.

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Two Deucebags and a Microphone, I'm Mark.

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And I am Rob.

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Thank you for joining us tonight. Well, you guys will hear this in a couple of days of course because we don't have the ability to go live right now.

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I'm not saying we won't eventually because I have some ideas and some ideas on how to get there.

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So, today a very sad event happened. I think we knew it was going to happen but probably not as soon as it did.

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And that is a long time veteran of Kansas City radio, Slacker, passed away from complications of some type of leukemia, was it?

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Yeah, it was a type of leukemia.

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It was a type of leukemia and it escapes me the name now but it's really bad stuff.

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And I don't think, they knew it was terminal, yes.

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I've had enough people that wrote some stuff down on the internet that was saying, yes, it's terminal, respect his privacy and all that.

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But I don't think they expected him to go this quick.

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And like I said, the good old complications to cancer,

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what they're talking about is the chemotherapy probably killed him, is what it is. Allergic reaction or just his body couldn't handle it.

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Heart attack, caught a very bad cold, COVID, something happened.

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And I don't think they expected him to go this quick.

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But before he did go, he left a very nice tribute, an hour long tribute that they played on 101 the Fox.

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And today, all day, they've had numerous people that worked with him over the years call in and talk about some of their favorite times with him.

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And anyhow, this is kind of a tribute to Slacker. I know we're just a little bitty podcast and all that.

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But we are both very privy and know of Slacker's work and respect him a great deal.

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He was a good guy by all accounts and he did a lot of good work.

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I mean, you know, he was, let's see, October 1990, I believe is when he was hired into KY.

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Yes, I believe it was it was KY one of two at the time. Then they eventually, you know, they they were sold.

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And then the KYS call letters are still, I guess, part of the audacity still owns it, I think.

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So, yeah, but some station is St. Joseph, Missouri is actually using will decal and the KY one of two logo because those are not, you know, those are not property of anybody that I know of.

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So anyhow, any worker till January 2008, and then he went to Fox January 2008 till the present and he just retired.

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So and this was because of leukemia. So but I think what people don't realize is, is I think there might have been a person in between it.

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When when Slacker went to go do a morning show on one of the Fox, it was at a weird time.

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Fox, Fox just tried to put in a nationally syndicated show, Bob and Tom, because KY was doing remember the morning sickness that they did.

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You know, they called it sickness and Max looked like he had a baby and all, you know, and it was like really getting the shock radio kind of launchy stuff.

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Man Cal was in town. Johnny there had it turned up and was doing all different types of stunts.

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He had Tard, you know, and all this stuff was going on.

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So what do I want to Fox said, hey, we're going to get our form of shock radio or whatever shock jock stuff. And that's Bob and Tom.

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And that would be like the classic rock answer to to what was going on all up and down the dial at the time.

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Well, it didn't work. They lost all the ratings they had in the morning.

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They went from like maybe if I remember correctly, is like a five share to like a one point one.

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Nobody liked Bob and Tom. And the reason was because it's the exact same humor that Max Tanner Tanner and Moffat was doing.

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And Slacker was part of that whole thing, that whole collage.

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OK, so what they did actually backfire.

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And then the Fox kind of learned a lesson. This is the way I see it happening. And I think I'm correct.

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OK, so the Fox tried their hand at this shock jock radio stuff and it didn't work.

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So then they had to figure out what would work.

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What would work was a lesser morning show and more music and chiefs oriented, because at the time they were the flagship station for the Kansas City Chiefs.

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So when Slacker came in, he had quite a job to do and the job that he did, he did it great.

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And I can't remember if they went to number one or if they're a number three or two or whatever.

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I think maybe Johnny Dare might have been number one or maybe they switched back and forth according to the month or whatever, the trends and all that.

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So anyhow, what he figured out and what the 101 the Fox did, they did it masterfully is you want a lesser morning show, not as much talk.

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You want more music. You want a lot more music and you want it to be sports themed.

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You want it to be you want it to be tempered around the Kansas City Chiefs, which are the hot item in town.

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And they were the flagship station. So what Slacker would do, it was really quite brilliant.

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It didn't look like that much, but it was really quite brilliant was is he would come up with a chief song in the week.

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You have people call in and talk about the game. And he was just kind of like your buddy.

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He was like the guy down there on the porch.

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We go down there and go, man, what do you think of that game, man?

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You know, fucking man, Alex Smith. I don't know, man.

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You know, do that one interception. But then that next pass was a beauty for the touchdown.

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Tariq took, you know, so he was kind of like the guy down the road on his porch.

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And people walk by and go, hey, Mr. Williams. Hey, how's it going?

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You know, he come out to his fence and go, hey, you see that game last night?

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He was kind of that kind of a guy. And this worked.

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This worked for that audience because everybody was going away from the other stuff.

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The people wanted to listen to Max Tanner and Moffitt were doing that.

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And the people didn't want that much stuff in the morning and just wanted music and a little light, ha ha and some like talk about football.

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That's what they did. And it worked very well. And he had that job for 20 years.

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And he did that until he was diagnosed with leukemia. And then, of course, he, you know, he went on FMLA.

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And then when he came back, he went to afternoons, probably because it was so hard on his body to get up in the mornings.

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So he went straight to afternoons and he did a good show in the afternoons, too.

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Actually, if you ask me, I think he was better in the afternoons.

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And he was like I said, he had great ratings in the morning.

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But I enjoyed him in the afternoons because he had a lot of good subjects that he brought up.

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He had some little puns and I thought it was really good.

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So anyhow, rest in peace, slacker. You know, you know, it's just it's sad.

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What do you say, Rob? Yes, go ahead. Very sad.

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Yeah. His tribute was very emotional.

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What he did was he recorded an hour of music and him talking to his fans.

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And it was so real that this guy knew he was dying.

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But he still he still had the fans.

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He had the fans in his mind.

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And it seemed to me almost like he was more worried about the fans than his own health.

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So God bless you, slacker.

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Rob, go ahead. I don't know what else I can say.

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There really is not much you could say.

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Living in Kansas City most of my life and you've lived there most of your life.

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That's the man we grew up listening to the last few years.

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He was great at what he did.

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He was great in that profession.

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That's all you can say about it.

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He did some little one off stuff.

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Well, not one off, but little specialty shows that I remember from K.Y.

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Like remember the Doug and Slacker Love Beer show? Yes.

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I love that. That was fantastic.

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He did he did little stuff like that, you know.

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Anyhow, you know, he was Kansas City and we're going to miss a great deal.

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And, you know, God bless you, man.

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You know, slacker, I hope you're in the great beyond doing well.

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Kansas City is a different town without you.

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And I'm glad we got to know you.

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Oh, by the way, his time with K.Y.

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Yes.

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Includes switching over to 99.7.

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Yeah, yeah.

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And there was a little bit of time in between too.

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And I don't know if they all were employed.

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I remember they took Max to keep him employed.

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They put him on 710 Talk Radio, which they owned at the time.

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You remember that? Yeah.

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Yeah. And they're like, Max, here's your show.

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Just stay there for right now, because I think it was at the time it was Intercom.

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I think Intercom bought K.Y. and everything.

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And then they changed the signal to 99.7 K.Y. and started it up again.

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And it did very well for many years, but Kansas City simply is not a big enough town to support two classic rock stations.

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And K.Y. had a lot of top heavy stuff.

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They had the famous DJs.

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You know, they had Skid Rody.

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They had Max Floyd.

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They had Tanner.

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They had Moffat.

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You know, they had all of these people that they were paying good salaries to.

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For 101, the Fox wasn't paying all that huge absorbent amount of money for it.

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And this is not a knock on any of the DJs.

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They deserved every penny they got because they earned it in ratings and actually being good people.

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But K.Y. was kind of in a bad spot.

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And 101 used different DJs and used ones that were good enough.

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And they went to a more music format.

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And K.Y. was still like the call up and they give you shit and you give them shit and say a little pun.

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And though we're on the radio, 101 and the Fox are just like, hey, we're just playing music over here.

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And that's why Bob and Tom failed so miserably, too.

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And also, Bob and Tom failed because everybody knew that humor because that was Max Tanner and Moffat's humor.

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And the thing is, it's kind of like the chicken or the egg.

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Did Bob and Tom get that stuff from them or did they get it from Bob and Tom?

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Or was it one of these things where everybody just thought that's their thought process at the time?

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Nobody really knows. But that kind of humor was already locked down on K.Y.

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And then, you know, and then after that, you know, 101 figured out the formula was slacker and they did excellent ever since.

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And now there's no more K.Y.

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And unless you believe that station is St. Joe's K.Y.

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You know, but that's a whole different subject.

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They may be a name, but anyhow.

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So anyhow, I have we're going to do you have anything more you want to say about slacker?

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No, that's about all that can be said.

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OK. All right. Well, slacker, we love you. Rest in peace.

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We're glad we got to know you.

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Yeah, we're glad we got to know you.

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My car.

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Well, OK, the first the first rental that I had to do ran out.

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And anyhow, so they approved the work to be done on the back end because it was mechanical failure.

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OK, the the bumper to bumper warranty company, which is great.

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OK, so now the the dealer is saying they can't get the parts in.

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They said the last time they got rear end parts like that, one time it took two weeks, another time it took three months.

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Well, yes. So anyhow, they gave me a loaner.

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OK, now this is funny on its own. You know what kind of loaner they gave me, Rob?

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What?

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A souped up Dodge Challenger.

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Are you kidding me?

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No, I'm not kidding you. I'll send you the pictures. It's white and it's beautiful.

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You know what I did when I took out on one hundred and third there?

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I almost spun it around. I wasn't used to that power.

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I took and fishtailed it and went, and then I see him after I corrected it.

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I look back, they're all looking out the back bay going, oh, fuck, we're never getting this car back.

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I did almost lost control, almost ended up in Indian Creek, dude. I'm not kidding you.

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I wasn't used to it. I didn't expect a whiplash like that. I didn't expect it to fishtail almost all the way around,

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doing a donut in the middle of a busy road.

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But yeah, I almost didn't get to have that car because I was a stupid ass.

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But I straightened it out and I've been behaving ever since.

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Except one time on 150 Highway, I was like, man, I have so much pedal to go and I'm going 80.

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Well, Rob, you know, I got it to three quarters of the way and I was going about 160.

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And I'm sure because of, well, you know what? I don't know for sure because the speedometer didn't go that high.

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But I'll tell you what, I was going faster than I ever have been in a car and I still have plenty of pedal left.

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It was unreal.

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So anyhow, well, however many 120, 40, 60, whatever the hell it was, it was fast.

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And I have plenty of pedal left and I couldn't believe it. And the sound, oh my God.

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So anyhow, after that, I went back down to 60 mile an hour and I've behaved ever since.

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I don't know if they continue behaving in it because that's the type of car that could get you in a lot of trouble.

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So.

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You've got some little puffballs up next to you.

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Oh, well, I've already had that happen. A Mustang coming through.

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Yeah, Mustang come up fucking with me.

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Yeah.

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00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:57,000
And I'm like, fuck, dude, get away from me. I'm trying to behave.

206
00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:00,000
I don't want to. I don't want to destroy this.

207
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:03,000
You know, I mean, it'll be on me, my insurance and everything.

208
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:08,000
He come up, he in. I'm like, oh, you son of a bitch.

209
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:16,000
So anyhow, I gave him the okay and I turned.

210
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:21,000
So he took out for nothing. I left on the other road just to get away from him.

211
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,000
Yeah.

212
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:31,000
So anyhow, I should have said pink slip. And then when he came to get it, let's say we won, I would have said, hey, this is a loner.

213
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:35,000
You go talk to. I don't want to say their names.

214
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:41,000
You go talk to them. That's their car. You tell them that you want it. Let's see how well it goes.

215
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,000
Let's see how that goes for you.

216
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:46,000
So now the problem that I have is this right here.

217
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:51,000
They don't know how long it's going to take to get my to get my rear end parts in supposedly.

218
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:56,000
So I'm going to call around tomorrow, see if I can't find a place that does that can get him.

219
00:19:56,000 --> 00:20:02,000
But this place says that they just can't get him, that they're just, you know, they're having a hard time getting him from wherever.

220
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:07,000
So we're going to see because my my contract on a rental runs out after five days.

221
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:11,000
They can extend it, but they also don't have to either.

222
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,000
I'm going to read through all the paperwork.

223
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:16,000
Val's going to read through it all and just see exactly what it says.

224
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:22,000
But I'm kind of in a predicament now because if it does go three months, what the hell am I going to do?

225
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:26,000
You know, so anyhow, that's what's going on with that.

226
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:31,000
But I had a little fun at Wal-Mart today.

227
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,000
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

228
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:42,000
OK, well, OK, Wal-Mart is there. They like got everything arranged like weird in there.

229
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:44,000
They rearranged everything.

230
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:51,000
And it's all these self-checkout machines and plus about 20 regular regular checkout lines.

231
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:55,000
But like only one or two people working in them. I don't know why they have all them.

232
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,000
So I was forced to go to Wal-Mart.

233
00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:03,000
Yeah, I was today. So I came up with a couple of tricks to make it more fun.

234
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:07,000
I am. I go to get some dog food and we're out of paper towels, too.

235
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:10,000
So I get there and I go through the security gate.

236
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:15,000
I'm trucking for the pet aisle. And like always, so many it has a whole lane blocked off.

237
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:24,000
That's why I'm armed with three small items that I just picked up on the way like warp remover, a Mickey Mouse watch and a can of sardines.

238
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,000
I've been doing this for a long time.

239
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:32,000
Whenever someone blocks the aisle and they always do a Walmart, I throw these items in there.

240
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:39,000
And it's always something like warp remover or feminine hygiene or something like that, especially if it's a dude.

241
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,000
And I'll throw it in there.

242
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:49,000
And then later on when they're checking out, you know, they either pull it out and people are looking at them and they act, you know, they say, oh, this isn't mine.

243
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:54,000
It was like, right, right. That general work remover. It isn't yours. Yeah.

244
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:59,000
So, hey, so anyhow.

245
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:03,000
Right now, I ever think of that. I'm going to start doing that now.

246
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:08,000
It's great. Just find the most weirdest items you can.

247
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:12,000
And if they have some items in there, because this guy had a folding chair.

248
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:19,000
He had a couple other things, some paper, some some computer paper, and I just threw it underneath there.

249
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:22,000
Well, he's over on the other aisle looking for cat food, I think.

250
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:25,000
And I threw it all under there. So he had no idea it was in there.

251
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:29,000
So he took it back to either self check out or the regular check out.

252
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,000
And he had to deal with that stuff there.

253
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:39,000
So so I quickly put in the car blocking the whole pedal while the inconsiderate assholes on the other aisle look at.

254
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,000
Oh, no, no. He's looking for hamster bedding.

255
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:45,000
I forgot I wrote this down. Yeah, he's looking for hamster bedding.

256
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:48,000
He's fucking pilfering through it. I'm like, what a loser.

257
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:56,000
I also moved the car sideways to block off 100 percent of the aisle just so other people will be even more pissed at at him. Right.

258
00:22:56,000 --> 00:23:00,000
So you know how they kind of like just left it there and it's kind of cock eyed. Right.

259
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,000
It's still in your way. Yeah.

260
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:08,000
I took it 100 percent sideways so it blocked 100 percent of the aisle.

261
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:11,000
So, you know, maybe it might have started a fight.

262
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:14,000
So I go, what a fucking asshole. Why would you do this?

263
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:20,000
You know, and, you know, at the very least, he's probably slamming it to the side if nothing else and grumbling.

264
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,000
So who knows what happened there?

265
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:30,000
Second, my hate for self checkouts led me to this. Each station has a cordless scanner. Right.

266
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:38,000
OK, so you go to the first machine, you take that scanner, you scan the barcode on the machine next to it.

267
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:41,000
Then you take that machine and you scan the bar.

268
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:45,000
There's QR codes, right?

269
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:50,000
OK, when you scan that QR code, it assigns it to that machine.

270
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:58,000
So there's three machines near me and I got I got three of them today and I switched the scanners to the barcode.

271
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:05,000
So I took the scanner at my machine, took it two down, scanned that barcode and then I brought it back to my machine.

272
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,000
And then I switched the other two. You see what I mean?

273
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:15,000
So when someone would stand there, they would scan their items would go to the guy next to him or the guy next to him.

274
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:19,000
Do you see what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

275
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:26,000
So anyhow, there's a there's a guy there and he's like he got a bag of Starbucks added to his bill.

276
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:29,000
He was pissed as hell. He didn't even start scanning.

277
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:33,000
All of a sudden it goes beep. It goes, what the hell?

278
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:38,000
And the lady next to him is buying Starbucks.

279
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:41,000
So he was pissed. So anyhow, I take it.

280
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:46,000
I go to the other machine because I know those three are rigged and act like I could figure it out or something.

281
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:50,000
So I go to the machine across the way and I'm checking my shit out.

282
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:53,000
And I hear all these people going, hey, I didn't buy any dog food.

283
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,000
And all of a sudden, they all hit the button light.

284
00:24:56,000 --> 00:25:01,000
These people come from around the corner and everybody's all mixed up and they had to void everything.

285
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:06,000
It took them a long time to figure this shit out, too.

286
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:09,000
So anyhow, I'm like walking through there.

287
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:19,000
OK. And you know, at the end of Walmart, where it has this deal where it says, OK, would you like the would you like it like it to be emailed to you?

288
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:23,000
Your receipt. Would you like it in print? And then there's some other function I forgot.

289
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,000
So anyhow, I went for the print receipt. OK.

290
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:30,000
And I have it in my hand and they have the guy at the end at the exit checking your bags.

291
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:35,000
So I walked by and and I have their seat right in my hand.

292
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:38,000
And when I talked to him, he could see it. And he goes, can I see your seat?

293
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:44,000
I go, oh, I got an email to me. He looks at me funny.

294
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:49,000
And he lets me go very cautiously. But he knew I was lying to him, but he couldn't prove it.

295
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:54,000
He wasn't there. They're taught not to be confrontational.

296
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:59,000
So he couldn't accuse me of having that receipt. He could accuse me.

297
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:02,000
And then finally, he looks at it again. He looks at me again.

298
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:07,000
And I'm just sitting there, grim looking like, yeah, yeah, that's right. You fucking heard me.

299
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:12,000
I had an email to me. I don't have it. I didn't say that, but I'm just looking at real grim.

300
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:16,000
And he's very cautious. He goes, go ahead.

301
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:19,000
And I'm walking out smiling at him. I go, have a nice day.

302
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:23,000
And he grumbled something like, you too. He knew I was fucking with him.

303
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:28,000
But there's nothing he could do. And there's little tricks you can play on these fuckers.

304
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:33,000
Like, you know, they set it up to where you, in my opinion,

305
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:38,000
they set it up to where you pretty much have to go through self-checkout if you have a certain amount of items.

306
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:43,000
Because every item that's open is at 10 items or less or express lane.

307
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:46,000
So let's say you have 25 items. You can't do it.

308
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:50,000
Well, today there just weren't anyone over there except way down at the other end of the store.

309
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:54,000
So I was like, all right, you know what? I'm going to have a little fun while I'm here. And I did.

310
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:57,000
So anyhow, that has been my day so far.

311
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,000
You were in a mood today, weren't you?

312
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:03,000
Oh, I was snapping. I was snapping mad.

313
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:07,000
You know, and the whole thing, the challenger settled it down a little bit.

314
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:12,000
But man, this whole thing about getting your parts just irritates the fuck out of me.

315
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:15,000
And I took it out on some innocent people.

316
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,000
Because that's what you do, right?

317
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:19,000
Right.

318
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:24,000
Absolutely. Rob, we turn to you after my debauchery and weird shit.

319
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:27,000
It's your turn.

320
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:30,000
I have a little story here about Patrick Mahomes.

321
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:33,000
All right. The Patrick Mahomes?

322
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:36,000
Yes. The Mr. Patrick Mahomes.

323
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,000
Greatest football player ever, Patrick Mahomes?

324
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:42,000
Yes, sir.

325
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,000
All right. Go for it.

326
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:48,000
His resume today has been nothing short of sensational.

327
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:53,000
However, is Patrick Mahomes really where he wants to be?

328
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:56,000
Right here, right now?

329
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,000
Don't panic, cheese fans.

330
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:07,000
There's no suggestion that the two-time NFL MVP and three-time Super Bowl champion is leaving Kansas City.

331
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:11,000
And three-time MVP is Super Bowl II.

332
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:12,000
Yes.

333
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:13,000
Okay.

334
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:16,000
In fact, the opposite is true.

335
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:21,000
What a big, big twist.

336
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:26,000
I've talked to the Royals at Mahomes to show them Gregor at the time magazine.

337
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:32,000
And if I can maybe go out to a spring training, I'm not opposed to that.

338
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:35,000
I'll get it approved by the Chiefs and everything like that.

339
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:41,000
That's going to be one of these years I go out there and see what I got.

340
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,000
That would be cool.

341
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:45,000
See if I can still hit the ball or pitch or whatever that is.

342
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:48,000
Well, he was a pitcher and he's a really good pitcher.

343
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:49,000
Huh?

344
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,000
He was a pitcher and he's a really good pitcher.

345
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:54,000
He could have been drafted by Major League Baseball, but he opted to go to football.

346
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,000
Did you know that?

347
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:57,000
Yes, yes.

348
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:58,000
Okay.

349
00:28:58,000 --> 00:28:59,000
All right.

350
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:00,000
Go ahead.

351
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:05,000
Maybe not in the games, but I can at least practice with them.

352
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:15,000
As for the Chiefs head coach, Andy Reidstops, well, I haven't even thought about that.

353
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:19,000
You're hitting me with a pretty big one right there.

354
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:21,000
He was a heck of a baseball player.

355
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:23,000
He grew up around it.

356
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,000
I'm sure he could play in the major leagues.

357
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:28,000
I mean, he's pretty gifted.

358
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:31,000
He'd have to take me as a manager.

359
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:34,000
I love his eye.

360
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:40,000
That was the perfect reaction because the Chiefs don't want him playing basketball,

361
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:41,000
and it's in his contract.

362
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,000
You can look this up for real.

363
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,000
Right, that is true.

364
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:46,000
Yeah.

365
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,000
So I think baseball is probably the same.

366
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:51,000
What if he gets hit in the head with a pitch?

367
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,000
You know, or breaks his hand.

368
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:57,000
Someone throws a fastball tight.

369
00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:00,000
He tries to hit it and it breaks his hand.

370
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:03,000
What if he tears his hamstring throwing a pitch?

371
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:07,000
So I'm pretty sure it's probably going to be the same verdict.

372
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:09,000
No, you cannot.

373
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:13,000
But I love the way Andy Reid turned it into a joke because he's probably thinking,

374
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:16,000
nah, that's not going to fly.

375
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,000
Right, right.

376
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,000
Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're under the sun.

377
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:23,000
I mean, they used to be able to do that.

378
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:27,000
Used to, but now there's such a valuable commodity monetarily.

379
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:30,000
Well, yeah, he especially is.

380
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:35,000
Look, he's getting half a billion dollars or more, probably more now.

381
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,000
I think they've restructured everything.

382
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:41,000
So he's getting at least a half a billion dollars plus all endorsements.

383
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:46,000
No, I'm going to say that in that contract, I'm sure there's stuff like,

384
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:52,000
no this, no this, no this, no this, no this, and I'm pretty sure baseball's probably in one of them.

385
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,000
Wouldn't you think?

386
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:55,000
Yeah.

387
00:30:55,000 --> 00:31:01,000
Well, I could see where they would agree to let me go practice with them.

388
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:03,000
I'm not even sure about that.

389
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:04,000
You don't think so?

390
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:07,000
I don't know.

391
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:11,000
I mean, I suppose he could be practicing with his kid when he gets older and do the same thing.

392
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:15,000
I mean, I don't know, maybe practicing, I don't know.

393
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:19,000
But as in playing, I really highly doubt that.

394
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:20,000
Yeah.

395
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,000
Yeah.

396
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:32,000
Well, yeah, because at that point you'd be playing teams from the people, from where you play, you know.

397
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:37,000
So you'd play Cleveland, you know, or whoever.

398
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:40,000
Los Angeles.

399
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:43,000
They could go to hurt you.

400
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:44,000
Yeah, they could.

401
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:51,000
Yeah, you're playing Los Angeles and the Chargers are like, man, we're getting tired to lose this motherfucker.

402
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,000
Throw them high and tight if you hit them, who cares?

403
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,000
I could see that happening.

404
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:56,000
Yeah.

405
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:57,000
Yeah.

406
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:01,000
So dirtier things have happened in sports.

407
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:03,000
I mean, you know, what's her name?

408
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:06,000
Nancy Kerrigan took a fucking cap on her knee.

409
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:07,000
Right?

410
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:08,000
Yeah.

411
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:09,000
So, yeah.

412
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:10,000
All right.

413
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:12,000
Well, let's take our very late first break.

414
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,000
That sound good?

415
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:15,000
Sounds good.

416
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:19,000
We're going to come back and I'm going to have a spotlight on turnips.

417
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:20,000
And I'm not joking.

418
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:21,000
All right.

419
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,000
All right.

420
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:23,000
All right.

421
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:24,000
I believe you.

422
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:25,000
Okay.

423
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:34,000
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

424
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:37,000
It's strange insults from an alien.

425
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:38,000
Real hilarity.

426
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,000
Hey, your chair.

427
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,000
Produce a sound similar to a fart.

428
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:42,000
But only once.

429
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:46,000
Such that you cannot reproduce it and prove that it was just the chair.

430
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,000
Oh shit.

431
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:48,000
What's that over there?

432
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:49,000
Oh no.

433
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:50,000
It's the island of horrible jokes.

434
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:51,000
This island of horrible jokes.

435
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:52,000
Ugh.

436
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:59,000
I put a wooden shoe in my toilet.

437
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:04,000
I guess it was clogged.

438
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:20,000
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.

439
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:21,000
Let's see here.

440
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:22,000
A package of eight hot dogs.

441
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:25,000
A package of ten hot dog buns.

442
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:31,000
I would have to buy ten packs of hot dogs and eight packs of buns to even it out.

443
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,000
Should I buy them at once?

444
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,000
Should I freeze them?

445
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:39,000
Or just continue to zigzag them and hope for the best?

446
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:47,000
I hate adulting.

447
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,000
The aboutlapse just happened.

448
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,000
You don't know what to do.

449
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:53,000
You don't know where to go.

450
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:57,000
But we can tell you what you can eat.

451
00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:03,000
Okay, it's post-apocalypse and you're walking down the barren wasteland that used to be a city.

452
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:07,000
You find an old can of beans lying in the middle of the road.

453
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:10,000
But you do not have a can opener.

454
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:14,000
What you do then is you find a patch of concrete.

455
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:18,000
You rub the top of the can for five minutes.

456
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:26,000
Then you go to the middle of the can and squeeze it and it should pop right open.

457
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:29,000
Hello, this is Satan.

458
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:34,000
You might know me from my pet name, Inflation.

459
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:45,000
I'm here to tell you that there's no better way to relax than listening to two douchebags in microphone by a nice warm fire at night.

460
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:53,000
After I reflect on all the cells I burned that day, enjoy.

461
00:34:53,000 --> 00:35:01,000
Tomorrow morning while grinding your coffee beans for your double mocha latte, remember to not get your genitals caught in the grinder.

462
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:02,000
It really hurts.

463
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:05,000
Who can afford plastic surgery?

464
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:08,000
Stay safe everyone.

465
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:12,000
Next time you take a dump, listen to two douchebags in a microphone.

466
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:16,000
It's been proven in laboratory rats to relax your anal canal.

467
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:26,000
Get in cover.

468
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,000
Bone, I'm Mark.

469
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,000
And I am Rob.

470
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:33,000
Alright, like Four mentioned, you're probably like, what the fuck, turnips?

471
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:36,000
What the hell is wrong with this guy?

472
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,000
Hey.

473
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:39,000
I like turnips.

474
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:40,000
I do too.

475
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:41,000
They're good.

476
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:46,000
And also, this is two douchebags in microphone, so you gotta expect something weird, right?

477
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,000
Yeah, you never know what's gonna come out of our mouths.

478
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:53,000
Well, tonight my spotlight is on turnips.

479
00:35:53,000 --> 00:36:00,000
First, a couple of origins of sayings about turnips, and then what turnips are good for.

480
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:05,000
So, the first saying is, can't get blood from a turnip.

481
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:15,000
According to the phrase Bible, that's the name of it online, ancient Romans would eat turnips for extra anger when going off to fight.

482
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:24,000
So they originated the phrase, can't get blood from a turnip, which means no blood would be spilled from Romans.

483
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:25,000
Isn't that interesting?

484
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:26,000
What?

485
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,000
I didn't even know they had turnips in Rome.

486
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:29,000
I guess so.

487
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:30,000
I didn't either.

488
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,000
Well, well, there you go.

489
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:36,000
The next one, straight off the turnip truck.

490
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:50,000
It is an idiom that has been used in conversation since the early 1970s and alludes to someone from the country hitching a ride to the city, therefore on a turnip truck.

491
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:53,000
That one, you know, that one didn't catch me off guard.

492
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:56,000
I was like, yeah, that sounds about right, right?

493
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:57,000
Yeah.

494
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:58,000
Yeah.

495
00:36:58,000 --> 00:36:59,000
Okay.

496
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:05,000
Now I'm going to go to what turnips are good for.

497
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:19,000
Turnips play a significant role in the National Heart and Lung and Blood Institute's DASH diet, which medical experts have designated to bring down blood pressure by releasing sodium from the body and helping arteries dilate.

498
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,000
So that's what turnips are good for.

499
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:23,000
They're actually very good for you.

500
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:25,000
So there's my turnip.

501
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:27,000
I'm going to start eating more for us.

502
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:28,000
Hell yeah.

503
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:36,000
I'm going to, I'm going to like maybe, I don't know, like have a turnip enema maybe, you think?

504
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:43,000
Boil some turnips and, you know, let it cool down a little bit and just turn myself upside down when my ass open.

505
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:44,000
There you go.

506
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:45,000
All right.

507
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:48,000
What a visual, right Rob?

508
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:49,000
Very well.

509
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,000
Very well.

510
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:57,000
All right, Rob, we turn to you for something better because we need it right now.

511
00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:59,000
Okay.

512
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:03,000
Well, this one's kind of out there too.

513
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,000
Fine.

514
00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:17,000
Employees being inebriated on the job has long been a workplace hazard, but according to one boss, it's a non-issue.

515
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:36,000
From caffeine and cannabis to Adderall and Xanax, any legal drugs are according to business owner and columnist Gene Marks in a new Guardian Open being used on the clock like never before.

516
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:40,000
I know this because I know many of these people.

517
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:43,000
They're friends, workmates, and even family.

518
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:47,000
I'm one of those people, Marks admitted.

519
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:48,000
Do I care?

520
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:49,000
Not one bit.

521
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:52,000
We're all good at it, right?

522
00:38:52,000 --> 00:39:05,000
With the rise in remote work culture, allegedly to blame for more and more people choosing to toke up or get drunk while working, some offices speak,

523
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:16,000
and have chosen to engage in surveillance tactics or in that plutonium new drug-free remote work policies.

524
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:29,000
As the owner of an entirely virtual B2B tech company, however, Marks could care less what employees are up to.

525
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:35,000
So long as they're getting the job done, that is. My company is totally virtual.

526
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:43,000
For all I know, they're microdosing, toking, snorting, injecting, and doing shots all day.

527
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:48,000
I can't be responsible for their behavior, nor should I be, you broke.

528
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:59,000
They're grown-ups, and as long as it's legal, they have every right to do whatever they need to do to live a life on Earth in these stressful times.

529
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:04,000
I love that thought. Why would they care if they're not really affecting their work?

530
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:12,000
If they're doing their work, you know, and not breaking the law or hurting anybody or something, then yes, of course.

531
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:20,000
Well, this is a virtual tech company, too. I mean, it's not like you're running machinery.

532
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:30,000
Yeah, that's true. That's true. So yeah, I've always wondered how come they wanted to delve into your personal life so much.

533
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:36,000
Man, to me, if someone wants to go home and take a hit off a joint, who gives a shit? Who are they hurting?

534
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:44,000
You know, as long as they're doing their job correctly and not breaking a... Well, I mean, before they were breaking the law, now they would not be if they were in Missouri.

535
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:50,000
And in Kansas, Kansas near the state line doesn't care. Let's face it. You know, they're so close to us.

536
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:57,000
You go down to this dispensary close to me, about a mile away, and we're a mile away from Kansas.

537
00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:03,000
Every car in that lot is Johnson County cars. They're just coming over here and getting it.

538
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:10,000
And there's no Leewood cop, there's no Overland Park cop on the other side there to get them because they know better.

539
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:20,000
You know, they're like, you know what, hey, those guys come over here to sports gamble. We go over there to buy pot. Simple enough.

540
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:30,000
I know a lot of other Kansas people actually down towards the southern part. It runs down to Oklahoma.

541
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:37,000
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, Kansas is the only state that doesn't even at least have medicinal marijuana.

542
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:44,000
But they have sports betting. They are such a confused state.

543
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:47,000
Yeah, actually, Missouri didn't have sports betting.

544
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:49,000
We have always said that.

545
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:54,000
Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's this is true.

546
00:41:54,000 --> 00:42:02,000
Yeah. And the funny thing is, is this still this goes back to me, in my opinion, to the Bushwhackers and the Jayhawkers during the Civil War.

547
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:05,000
There's still a little bit of a rivalry there.

548
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:14,000
And they still have a little animosity left over, I think, from that because you ever go to someone to go, hey, I live in Kansas City.

549
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:21,000
Kansas? Hell no. Missouri. You know, there's still a lot of that going on and vice versa.

550
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:24,000
Oh, Missouri. Hell no. I live in Kansas.

551
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:30,000
I think that it is left over from the Bushwhackers and the Jayhawkers.

552
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:36,000
You know, the Jayhawkers were, of course, over there in Kansas.

553
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:39,000
And that's what their teams are named after.

554
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:45,000
And so Missouri burnt down. Well, the Bushwhackers burnt down Lawrence.

555
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:52,000
So there's actually a monument of this in front of the courthouse, the new courthouse in Harrisonville, Missouri.

556
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:59,000
They call that area on 2 highway there and all around it the burnt district. Have you ever heard that?

557
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:03,000
No, I had not heard that. OK. When did they start doing that?

558
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:09,000
After they burnt Lawrence down and they all came back to Missouri. Oh, yeah. That's right.

559
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:17,000
Yes. What they did was they burnt all the trees around there so they could see them coming. So they called that whole area the burnt district.

560
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:24,000
And you know, Harrisonville and their infinite wisdom put up as a monument of the burnt district.

561
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:30,000
And I'm not kidding you, a giant fireplace.

562
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:36,000
I'm not joking you. It's right off the 2 highway in front of the new justice center.

563
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:41,000
I'm taking pictures next to this thing. I've ridiculed it. I've made fun of it.

564
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:51,000
You know what? I don't know why.

565
00:43:51,000 --> 00:44:00,000
Yeah, the burnt district. Hey, what are we going to make? I don't know, a statue of Paul Brown? No, no, no.

566
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:06,000
How about grant? No, no, no. How about one of the famous generals? No, no, no.

567
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:12,000
How about a fireplace? Yeah, that will do it.

568
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:18,000
So, you can't make this shit up. You cannot. It's not my fake story either.

569
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:26,000
Sorry, I was so busy having fun with that I got myself into a Poland frenzy.

570
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:31,000
Right, right. That is hilarious, dude.

571
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:35,000
Yeah, it is. Only because, yeah, that is just hilarious.

572
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:40,000
I mean, who the hell thought let's build a giant fireplace in honor of the burnt district?

573
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:45,000
Isn't that kind of like rubbing it in?

574
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:50,000
Oh, but anyhow, there's still that little bit of rivalry between both states, especially around the state line.

575
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:57,000
This whole area around me, especially to the south, a little bit to the north, was a Civil War country.

576
00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:02,000
We're the middle of the country, and this is where both sides met so many times.

577
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:13,000
There are all different types of monuments and historic sites and all this stuff, you know, that are dedicated to it.

578
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:23,000
So, anyhow, the old town of Midway, which the school that I went to was named after, was just outside of Framing, Missouri.

579
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:35,000
Anyhow, you could still go there into some of the farmer's fields and see the hotels that the Jayhawkers burnt up while people were in there.

580
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:37,000
You could see old dishes there.

581
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:44,000
And this was as of 1982 or 1983 when I was in school, and they took us down there with metal detectors.

582
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,000
We found old doubloons and stuff.

583
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:48,000
And that's how a lot of that stuff is.

584
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:57,000
You go to the creek beds, you can still find in certain areas some of the old gold coins and stuff, or maybe not gold, but whatever they had.

585
00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:00,000
Coins for Confederate or Union, you know.

586
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:03,000
And so there's a lot of Civil War stuff around here.

587
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:09,000
So, anyhow, I'm going to go from Civil War to, I don't even know how we got on Civil War, but okay.

588
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:15,000
Gray wolves hadn't been seen in the South since the 1900s.

589
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:19,000
This winter, a local hunter shot one.

590
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:28,000
The first time the species had been found in southern Michigan, which is quite a ways away from the southern section of the United States.

591
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:34,000
A series of genetic tests on the harvested animal determined it was a gray wolf.

592
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:42,000
I say the gray wolf was not extinct, but was staying away from the nastiest predators of all time.

593
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:44,000
That would be man.

594
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:53,000
So, anyhow, you see, one wolf tries to make peace with man, and what do they do? They shoot him, right?

595
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:55,000
Yeah.

596
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:59,000
So, that's interesting that there are still gray wolves.

597
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:02,000
They didn't think they were around anymore, but they still are.

598
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:06,000
And is in southern Michigan, not in southern United States.

599
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:09,000
So, okay.

600
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:12,000
Rob, I turn to you to save this program.

601
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:25,000
A piece of space station debris has caused chaos by crashing through a roof of a house in Florida.

602
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:27,000
NASA has confirmed.

603
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:35,000
The bizarre incident occurred in Naples, Florida, last month when a cylindrical object clumped in from the sky

604
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:44,000
and was later examined at Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral after tearing through the homeowner's roof.

605
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:58,000
NASA identified the intruder as a metal bracket once used to secure discarded batteries to a waste pallet on the International Space Station.

606
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:12,000
This pallet had been jettisoned into space after 2021 with the expectations that it would disintegrate upon reentry to Earth's atmosphere.

607
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:13,000
Guess not.

608
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:20,000
However, this fragment defied the odds and made it to the ground.

609
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:31,000
Weighing about 1.6 pounds, the metal piece measured 4 inches in height and around an inch and a half inches in width.

610
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:47,000
Alejandro Atero, the homeowner, told Wink News that he was away on holiday when the incident occurred, leaving his son to discover the aftermath.

611
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:48,000
Wow.

612
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:54,000
Yeah, they said that defied the odds.

613
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:57,000
That they should have never made it to the ground.

614
00:48:57,000 --> 00:49:01,000
They thought it was going to burn up in the atmosphere and clearly I guess they were wrong.

615
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:02,000
Yeah.

616
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:04,000
Yeah, imagine it could be like walking down the road.

617
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:06,000
There are instances of that.

618
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:12,000
People walking down the road and getting nailed in the head and they die because space junk hit them.

619
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:13,000
It's true.

620
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:14,000
You can look this up.

621
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:18,000
There are several documented cases.

622
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:19,000
Real quick before we take...

623
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:23,000
Because they had jettisoned that.

624
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:29,000
So not only are we polluting our own planet, now we're polluting outer space.

625
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:30,000
We're shipping trash into outer space.

626
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:32,000
Is that what I'm reading?

627
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:35,000
We're shipping trash into outer space, Rob.

628
00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:37,000
We are.

629
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:38,000
Yeah.

630
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:39,000
That's why they're on Mars.

631
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:40,000
Oh, God.

632
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:43,000
They want to go destroy that next.

633
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:46,000
Go put a couple of trailer homes on it and fucking Natty Light.

634
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:49,000
Yeah, hell yeah.

635
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:52,000
Yeah, Mars is going to be trash.

636
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:53,000
Real quick before...

637
00:49:53,000 --> 00:50:00,000
And don't forget about the Ferris wheel and the train.

638
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:03,000
The Mars Ferris wheel and the train.

639
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:05,000
Yeah.

640
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:07,000
Oh, man.

641
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:11,000
Speaking of Ferris wheels, I've got a story I want to go to before we go to our second break.

642
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:17,000
A new cruise ship next year will have a thrill ride off the edge of the ship.

643
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:20,000
160 foot above water is a swing.

644
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:22,000
Yes, a swing.

645
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:26,000
MSC is the cruise company that came up with this gem.

646
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:32,000
The MSC World America, which will be sailing out of Port Miami next April,

647
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:36,000
will actually have swings that go out over the water from the ship.

648
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:38,000
And this is like a regular swing.

649
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:45,000
I'm sure you're buckled in, but your feet are dangling and you're pretty much just kind of like there on a little swing set.

650
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:50,000
Now, you are buckled in and secure, I'm sure.

651
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:58,000
But you still have the same sensation of being on a swing set high in the air, 160 foot up over the ocean.

652
00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:00,000
Is that pretty cool?

653
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:01,000
Yeah.

654
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:02,000
I think that is too.

655
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:07,000
Like I said earlier this year, I rode a roller coaster on a ship, and that was really cool and unique.

656
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:15,000
It was actually more frightening than I thought because there are several turns there where it looks like it's just going to fly right straight into the ocean.

657
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:16,000
Your whole cart.

658
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:24,000
But of course it doesn't because, you know, we all know roller coasters that are designed to look like that, like you're going to go flying off the edge, but you don't.

659
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:26,000
But still the sensation was there and it's pretty cool.

660
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:30,000
So now there's going to be a swing set that goes off the edge.

661
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:35,000
So I definitely think I might have to trek over to MSC and try that one.

662
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:39,000
So anyhow, let's take our second break and we'll be right back with more nonsense and garbage.

663
00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:41,000
That sound good, Rob?

664
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:43,000
All good.

665
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:48,000
We're just like a really funny radio show with all the funny taken out.

666
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:50,000
No bat light here.

667
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:54,000
These idiots just show up and hope for the best.

668
00:51:54,000 --> 00:52:01,000
Since we haven't a budget here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, here's a random guy on the street to promote our show.

669
00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:04,000
Hi everybody, I'm Thready.

670
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:10,000
I love listening to Two Douchebags and a Microphone and I get all my pertinent information from them.

671
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:14,000
They are incredible and I love them so.

672
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:20,000
Introducing Rob Radd's new book, How to Track Your Enemy by Scent.

673
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:23,000
That's right, smell your enemy before they get you.

674
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:28,000
Order this gem now and get a free virtual tour of Rob's secret bunker in Camdenton, Missouri.

675
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:34,000
Also receive a free copy of his new book, How to Clean Raw Sewage for Food.

676
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:42,000
Now, from the makers of the Who-Mit-My-Asshole Board Game comes the Rob Radd Jigsaw Fuzzle.

677
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:45,000
That's right, put Rob back together.

678
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:52,000
This brilliant glossy photo of Rob wearing a loin cloth in a rainforest is the perfect stocking stuffer.

679
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:55,000
Order now and get a free butt plug keychain.

680
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:58,000
All aware of the Amber Alert, right?

681
00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:01,000
Well, get rid of your disinfectants and rubber bedspreads kids.

682
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:04,000
It's the all new Amber Heard Alert system.

683
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:10,000
This fantastic early warning device helps one stay dry and rid of all those annoying mattress invoices.

684
00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:15,000
Simply hook up to Child Under Six or Psychopath and wait for the running water sound.

685
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:18,000
This clever machine has three distinct settings.

686
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:22,000
Bablin Brooks, Ocean Waves and Roaring River for those close calls.

687
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:26,000
Order today and get a free Cinnabon Renuzen cartridge.

688
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:33,000
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.

689
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:44,000
Hmm, let's see, if a worm could talk, would it be argumentive?

690
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:51,000
I may never know.

691
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:09,000
Dude, douchebags and microphone, I'm Mark.

692
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:11,000
And I am Rob.

693
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:18,000
I was going to go into a little bit serious story about some idiot that tried to rob a shell station with a snake.

694
00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:22,000
But instead I'm going to go into a little bit more lighthearted one.

695
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:26,000
And these are all infused Popsicles.

696
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:35,000
Veiled vodka pops are 8% average alcohol by volume.

697
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:41,000
Ice pops infused with veiled vodka and flavors like blueberry and watermelon that clock in at around 100 calories.

698
00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:45,000
12 for $17.99.

699
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:54,000
Largo Bay Spirit Pops are 8% alcohol by volume ABV with flavors like Mojito and Strawberry Daiquiri.

700
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:58,000
12 pack for about $17.99.

701
00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:10,000
Truly Lemonade Freeze Pops, the popular Setzer brand, or Seltzer brand, however you want to say it, brand has flavors such as Strawberry, Mango, Lemonade, and Original Lemonade.

702
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:16,000
Only 80 calories per treat. It doesn't say how much they are.

703
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:21,000
Cup Water Cocktail Pops, 80 calories at 7% alcohol by volume.

704
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:29,000
Popular flavors like Lime Margarita, Gin Melon. Enjoy 12 of them for $24.99.

705
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:37,000
Nature Days Frozen Icicles. This is Natural Light's version of Boozy Pops with flavors like Strawberry Lemonade and Pineapple Lemonade.

706
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:41,000
These will not hit stores soon.

707
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:47,000
Oh no no, these will hit stores soon. The old ones that they had will not be in stores anymore. I'm sorry.

708
00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:59,000
So they'll be in stores soon. Bud Light Setzer Pops Frozen Icicles are part of a retro summer pack with a tie-dye design and they are 5% alcohol by volume at around 100 calories.

709
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:06,000
Flavors like Cherry Lemonade and Blue Raspberry. So there you go you alcoholics. Have at it.

710
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:07,000
Yep.

711
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:17,000
Alright Rob I turn to you once again to turn this program around in the fiery crash that I caused.

712
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:21,000
Well I'm going to try out a more serious.

713
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:23,000
Uh oh.

714
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:31,000
It's something I ran across. It's five things we should keep to ourselves.

715
00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:37,000
Oh boy.

716
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:43,000
This is more of a serious one. The first one is your finances.

717
00:56:43,000 --> 00:57:04,000
Many people find money an expensive subject and we should not feel obligated to discuss it with others. Sharing details about our income, expenses or debt can lead to judgment, unsolicited advice or even exploitation.

718
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:05,000
Wow.

719
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:06,000
Yeah.

720
00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:07,000
I would agree.

721
00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:18,000
And I for one have always tried not to, you know, tried to not do that. My financial is me.

722
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:31,000
Everybody goes through financial hard times unless you're born wealthy. Everybody does. And the thing is, is nobody really wants to hear it because we've all been through it and we'll probably be through it again at some point, right?

723
00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:32,000
Right.

724
00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:44,000
So, um, yeah, people simply don't want to hear it. It's just, you know, it's like, you know, people are like, oh man I've got to go to work today. Well everyone else is like, well so am I asshole. You know?

725
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:46,000
Yeah.

726
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:53,000
Yeah. So I agree with that 100 percent, yes.

727
00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:58,000
Okay, the next one, your relationship issues.

728
00:57:58,000 --> 00:58:00,000
Oh gosh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

729
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:29,000
Relationships are complex and often fraught with challenges. When going through a rough patch with your partner, turning to others for advice or support can be tempting. However, it's important to remember that every relationship is unique and what works to one couple may not work for another.

730
00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:31,000
I could see that.

731
00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:33,000
I agree with that 100 percent.

732
00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:39,000
Yes, a lot of times you do kind of need somebody to talk to.

733
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:41,000
Yeah, yeah. Here's what I hate.

734
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:42,000
You know?

735
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:56,000
When someone, you know, comes in and paints a picture of their girlfriend or boyfriend just being horrible and they didn't do nothing wrong. That drives me nuts because I know better. Right?

736
00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:57,000
Right.

737
00:58:57,000 --> 00:59:17,000
It's almost always double sided. It's not always, I'd say 99.99 percent of the time it's two people's fault, not one. Okay? And then they come in and they go, that bitch did this and this and this. I can't believe she did that. It's like, well okay, leave her.

738
00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:27,000
No, I don't think I can do that. Yeah you can. If she's that bad, leave her. Other than that, I don't want to hear what a bad person she is. Right? Agreed?

739
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:28,000
Right.

740
00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:45,000
Yeah. And I have a couple people in mind that do that and it drives me nuts. It's like, okay fine, I know they're horrible, leave. Oh no, we're talking it out. Well then I don't ever want to hear you bash her again and say what a horrible person she is.

741
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:46,000
Sorry?

742
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:49,000
Yeah, anyhow, go ahead.

743
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:54,000
Next, we have your health concerns.

744
00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:55,000
Yeah?

745
00:59:55,000 --> 01:00:04,000
Our health, our health is perhaps the most personal aspect of our lives and we should not feel obligated to share it with others.

746
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:10,000
I know, my anal organs freaked everybody out when I told them about it. I just don't know why that was off limits.

747
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:16,000
Yeah, see, you know, I don't mind talking to people about don't being a urologist.

748
01:00:16,000 --> 01:00:21,000
Yeah, you know, I scraped them off, it was no big deal. They didn't come back.

749
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:22,000
Well Sam, pay attention.

750
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:36,000
Talking about your health concerns, does anyone other than a healthcare professional can lead to or lead to problems from unsolicited medical advice to potential discrimination?

751
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:40,000
Hmm, yeah, yeah.

752
01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:42,000
Yeah, I can see that.

753
01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:45,000
Yeah, unless you're talking about anal warts, that's okay.

754
01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:48,000
Yeah, yeah, you definitely have to talk about that.

755
01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:52,000
You have to get that out there. You've got to let people know what you're going through. They will sympathize.

756
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:55,000
Yeah, yeah.

757
01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:56,000
Anyhow.

758
01:00:56,000 --> 01:01:08,000
Your personal goals and ambitions. Studying goals and working towards them is integral to personal growth and development.

759
01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:15,000
However, sharing your goals and ambitions with others can sometimes do more harm than good.

760
01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:26,000
When we share our dreams with others, we open ourselves up to potential criticism, negativity, or satatite.

761
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:31,000
Yeah.

762
01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:36,000
I never thought of it that way.

763
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:42,000
Well, I mean, there's a fine line too, isn't there Rob?

764
01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:43,000
Yeah.

765
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:49,000
But what's acceptable and whatnot, I mean, for real, really, if you really want to get down to it, right?

766
01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:53,000
And most of us know where that is, right?

767
01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:55,000
Right.

768
01:01:55,000 --> 01:01:59,000
So, yeah, anyhow, you got more?

769
01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:01,000
There's one last one.

770
01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:03,000
Okay.

771
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:14,000
Your controversial opinions. We all have opinions on various topics from politics to religion to social issues.

772
01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:21,000
However, sharing our controversial opinions with others can be a risky proposition.

773
01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:37,000
In today's polarized world, expressing an unpopular opinion can lead to heated arguments, damaged relationships, or even professional consequences.

774
01:02:37,000 --> 01:02:39,000
Yeah. Yeah.

775
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:40,000
Yeah?

776
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:41,000
Yeah.

777
01:02:41,000 --> 01:02:43,000
That's pretty much a given.

778
01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:54,000
Yeah, we are so polarized by our politics here in America, and I know there's other stuff too, you know, but politics is one of the main ones.

779
01:02:54,000 --> 01:03:06,000
We're so polarized to where we're conditioned to think that the other side is completely evil, and you should not talk to them if you are the other side, then you want destruction of Earth.

780
01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:13,000
When actually most people are probably in the middle and they just pick the side, right?

781
01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:14,000
Yeah.

782
01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:15,000
Yeah.

783
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:20,000
So, yeah, I would agree with that 100%.

784
01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:24,000
Thank you, Rob. That was a really good article.

785
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:34,000
Yeah, I got to reading it, man. The more I read into it, I just read a short part of each one.

786
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:37,000
I mean, it goes on to tell me a little more about it.

787
01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:45,000
Well, I like the way you did it. You gave a little rough draft of everything. You illustrated a printed picture, and then you got away from it.

788
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:57,000
And I'm starting to learn how to do that on some articles too, because I have a bad habit of reading too much on them, and then they're trying to come up with a pun or something, and I sound like an idiot for even stating it.

789
01:03:57,000 --> 01:04:05,000
So, like now, I'm starting to proofread some stuff a little bit better. You know, my thing is time. I just don't have enough time to do all this.

790
01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:11,000
So a lot of times, we'll just download the article, and then when we get to a program, I just start reading it.

791
01:04:11,000 --> 01:04:20,000
Well, I need to start proofreading the stuff, and then just like crossing off shit I don't need to say, and stopping the article way before. I need to learn how to do that, honestly.

792
01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:25,000
We're doing it really good. I need to learn the art of when to stop it.

793
01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:30,000
When I got the point across, and everybody knows what I mean, and then they can decide for themselves.

794
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:40,000
Right. Yeah, because honestly, I have a lot saved up. Just like ten of these, seven of these, you know?

795
01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:41,000
Yeah, yes.

796
01:04:41,000 --> 01:04:50,000
And to read the whole thing, it would take one break to the next break, you know, the third of our show.

797
01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:52,000
Oh, yeah.

798
01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:56,000
So yeah, we gotta break these down.

799
01:04:56,000 --> 01:05:01,000
Yep. I agree.

800
01:05:01,000 --> 01:05:09,000
I mean, you know, the whole thing is we're not a serious program, number one.

801
01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:12,000
So why would we go into anything too much?

802
01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:16,000
We try to keep things as lighthearted as possible. We do cover some serious subjects.

803
01:05:16,000 --> 01:05:22,000
But like I said, we're just an outlet for people. We want people to laugh and have a little ha-ha.

804
01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:25,000
And you know, if you like crude humor, we may be your cup of tea.

805
01:05:25,000 --> 01:05:29,000
If you don't, then there's plenty of stuff on the radio dolly you can turn to.

806
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:39,000
And you will get the doom and gloom, and the seriousness, and the Israelis against the Iranians, and the Palestinians, you know, and all that.

807
01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:41,000
You can get that anywhere.

808
01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:47,000
So this stuff here is a dying breed. You don't get it on the radio anymore.

809
01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:50,000
You don't get the crude humor. You don't get the dick jokes.

810
01:05:50,000 --> 01:05:55,000
Because they simply can't do it because of FCC rules and government interference.

811
01:05:55,000 --> 01:06:02,000
So that's why all of this stuff went to the Internet, and we're simply just trying to do that, trying to give everybody a ha-ha.

812
01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:07,000
So anyhow, I need to learn how to kind of, you know, color between the lines a little bit better.

813
01:06:07,000 --> 01:06:12,000
So I've got a little story here, pretty interesting.

814
01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:19,000
Coast Guard Navy rescued three stranded men after spotting help sign made with palm leaves.

815
01:06:19,000 --> 01:06:28,000
United States Coast Guard and U.S. Navy teams teamed up this week and rescued three men found on remote island in the Pacific, officials said.

816
01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:37,000
The fishermen, all under 40s, have been on the island about 415 miles southwest of Guam.

817
01:06:37,000 --> 01:06:45,000
The rescue marks the second time in less than two weeks someone has been rescued from one of those tiny islands.

818
01:06:45,000 --> 01:06:53,000
The men spelled help using palm leaves laid on a white sand beach before being rescued Tuesday, according to the U.S. Coast Guard.

819
01:06:53,000 --> 01:07:02,000
The men, three relatives who had not been publicly identified as of Thursday, were found in good condition and expected to survive.

820
01:07:02,000 --> 01:07:11,000
So Coast Guard said that the fishermen were on there for about a week.

821
01:07:11,000 --> 01:07:20,000
And anyhow, they figured out that if they spill out help and palm leaves, that people flying over will realize they're not fishing and they are in fact stranded.

822
01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:26,000
I don't know what they ate for that week, it does not say. But they had to have eaten something, right?

823
01:07:26,000 --> 01:07:27,000
Yeah.

824
01:07:27,000 --> 01:07:35,000
Well, maybe they had food with them. And however they got stranded or whatever, you know, they still had the food with them and that's what they ate. I don't know.

825
01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:43,000
The article didn't go into any of that, but I thought it was pretty interesting. So, Rob, you got something?

826
01:07:43,000 --> 01:07:47,000
I might get the invites and the notes.

827
01:07:47,000 --> 01:07:54,000
Okay. Let's see here.

828
01:07:54,000 --> 01:07:57,000
I got something here, if you don't mind.

829
01:07:57,000 --> 01:08:03,000
That's about all right. I went over for the night, but I do have others on me.

830
01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:17,000
Okay. Monster Energy Drink got into the craft brewery not that long ago. Monster acquired Canarchy Craft Beer Platform is $330 million in 2022.

831
01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:25,000
Despite the promise that the category has shown over the years, Monster has reportedly laid off numerous staff members in that industry.

832
01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:37,000
The whole layoffs are reported in the Cigar City Brewery out of Florida. And it's interesting because they just started their craft beer segment of Monster Energy two years ago.

833
01:08:37,000 --> 01:08:47,000
And now they're already downsizing and possibly getting rid of it. But that's how much the craft beer industry has declined.

834
01:08:47,000 --> 01:08:56,000
Now it's like craft mocktails and craft cocktails and craft beers are already out. The younger generation is not drinking them.

835
01:08:56,000 --> 01:09:04,000
And people like you and I, they're neat for a while, but then we go back to our regular beers. Mine's Ginling and yours is what? Natty Light, right?

836
01:09:04,000 --> 01:09:05,000
Yeah.

837
01:09:05,000 --> 01:09:18,000
Yeah. It's great to get a Dunkle here. You know, something like that, you know, a Brown Ale, IPA. It's great to get some of that stuff, a Lemon Chandy or whatever.

838
01:09:18,000 --> 01:09:24,000
But you eventually go back to your staple beer. And that's what's going on. People got tired of that.

839
01:09:24,000 --> 01:09:31,000
Oh, now this is a great pairing with a cigar and this is a great pairing with clams, you know, and people got sick of that.

840
01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:36,000
They're like, yeah, just give me back my fucking Natty Light and just leave me alone. And that's where I'm at.

841
01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:47,000
I'm like, give me a nice cold, give me a nice cold Ginling in a glass, in a glass mug. And I'm the happiest man in the world.

842
01:09:47,000 --> 01:09:54,000
So anyhow, I think we could probably go ahead and cut this thing down for tonight. What do you think, Rob?

843
01:09:54,000 --> 01:09:56,000
I did come up with another one.

844
01:09:56,000 --> 01:09:58,000
Oh, okay. Go ahead.

845
01:09:58,000 --> 01:10:09,000
Okay. Polly Shore and Comedy Store are at the center of a lawsuit over an assault and battery incident that should be sent.

846
01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:12,000
Yes, Polly Shore is that comedian.

847
01:10:12,000 --> 01:10:20,000
He does. He has seemed to have gotten a little violent here and there, hasn't he?

848
01:10:20,000 --> 01:10:39,000
Yeah, yeah. Well, according to USA Today, comedian Elliot Furshute filed a suit against the jury duty actor and the comedy club he owns, alleging he was assaulted by bouncers at the club.

849
01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:53,000
According to People, documents on the lawsuit alleged that two bouncers ran up to him and detained him after the server said he didn't pay the bill.

850
01:10:53,000 --> 01:11:08,000
While Plank was faced down on the sidewalk, various bouncers for the Comedy Store began to hit and kick him for an appreciable amount of time, the lawsuit alleges.

851
01:11:08,000 --> 01:11:18,000
The bouncer that threw Plank up to the ground while this beating was occurring yelled, this is for Polly.

852
01:11:18,000 --> 01:11:39,000
Shore's mother, Mitzi Shore, co-founded the Comedy Store in Los Angeles, passing on the former MTV personality after she passed away. He was not present during the incident, according to the Bible.

853
01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:50,000
Wow. So these people brought up Polly Shore's name, but he wasn't there. So he obviously...

854
01:11:50,000 --> 01:11:52,000
He owns the place.

855
01:11:52,000 --> 01:12:05,000
Yeah, yeah. I see where that is in play. But are they trying to say that Polly Shore had it done or just simply that he owns the place and is liable because he hired these people? Is that what it's saying?

856
01:12:05,000 --> 01:12:14,000
No, it's the bouncer's doing it because it goes on to talk about another case in 2022.

857
01:12:14,000 --> 01:12:16,000
Oh, okay.

858
01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:26,000
That a member of the court's security allegedly assaulted a couple. They own B-Mail.

859
01:12:26,000 --> 01:12:29,000
Okay. Then they have a history of doing this?

860
01:12:29,000 --> 01:12:32,000
Yeah, it looks like there's a history of this.

861
01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:46,000
And Polly Shore never did straighten it out after that one. So yeah, I guess he is liable then and he is going to get sued again. So, okay, whatever. I mean, he kind of deserves it at this point, right? I mean, in my opinion.

862
01:12:46,000 --> 01:13:03,000
Polly Shore was also mentioned in that lawsuit alleging he was aware of the club's security and their actions, which he agreed with and encouraged the behavior. Okay, that's what the lawsuit is alleging.

863
01:13:03,000 --> 01:13:16,000
Okay. Well, I did know about that. That's what I was asking a minute ago was, okay, I see their angle and I think because that previous assault that happened, then yeah, I get it.

864
01:13:16,000 --> 01:13:26,000
Yeah. If you're that worried about it, you make sure it stopped, right? You get rid of the people and you let everyone else know you're next if you do this. So yeah, I get it.

865
01:13:26,000 --> 01:13:28,000
Yep.

866
01:13:28,000 --> 01:13:37,000
I've got a little story here I'd like to go into here really quick and just cap this off. I've kept it around for a while, or actually a couple of weeks now.

867
01:13:37,000 --> 01:13:45,000
And anyhow, it's people that thought that they came to the actual ending of The Sopranos, the cut to black.

868
01:13:45,000 --> 01:14:01,000
So, back in 2010 or something like that, a few years after the series ended, New York Knicks were trying to court LeBron James to come there next and play.

869
01:14:01,000 --> 01:14:16,000
So, this James Gandolfini and Edie Falco, Mr. and Mrs. Soprano on the show, did an advertisement for LeBron James trying to court him to come to New York.

870
01:14:16,000 --> 01:14:32,000
And this was, they were hiding in New York in the witness protection program, and they were kind of pretty much saying, yeah, we're in New York, the witness protection program's great, you know, and all that stuff.

871
01:14:32,000 --> 01:14:41,000
And then they said, you know, it'd be nice if LeBron came to the Knicks or something. So everyone said, aha, that was David Chase saying what actually happened.

872
01:14:41,000 --> 01:14:50,000
Well, David Chase rebutted a couple of weeks ago, and he said, no, that is not what happened. I had nothing to do with that commercial. They came up with that on their own.

873
01:14:50,000 --> 01:15:00,000
So, we're back to, it's whatever you read into it, which I think is awesome. So, if you think he got his brain splattered out, that's what happened.

874
01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:06,000
If you think he ran away with the loot and lived happily ever after, that's what happened.

875
01:15:06,000 --> 01:15:16,000
If you think he got busted and went to prison, that's what happened. So, there you go, guys. You pick the ending, and you say that's what happened, and that's what happened.

876
01:15:16,000 --> 01:15:22,000
Anyhow, I guess we'll go ahead and cut this one for tonight, right?

877
01:15:22,000 --> 01:15:25,000
Hello, Grandma. Hi, Jimmy.

878
01:15:25,000 --> 01:15:38,000
Yeah. Hi, Grandma Opal. Hi, Jimmy. Love you guys. You guys dodged another one in Dodge City again. Oh, dodged in Dodge City. Well, I didn't mean the pun. But yeah, yeah, another bad storm came and just snipped them.

879
01:15:38,000 --> 01:15:42,000
So, hopefully they were on the other side of that. So.

880
01:15:42,000 --> 01:15:45,000
Hopefully they at least got a little bit of rain out of it.

881
01:15:45,000 --> 01:15:56,000
Yeah, yeah. I hope they got some rain because like Jimmy was saying, they have been really dry. And now that I've been paying attention, every storm has just been going around them, kind of like here.

882
01:15:56,000 --> 01:15:58,000
Right. Right.

883
01:15:58,000 --> 01:15:59,000
Are you guys dry down here too?

884
01:15:59,000 --> 01:16:03,000
This last one, we only got a couple drops out of it.

885
01:16:03,000 --> 01:16:14,000
We got like two tenths of an inch. That's it. But we're supposed to maybe get some tonight. We'll see. But all the big storm systems have just simply been going around us.

886
01:16:14,000 --> 01:16:18,000
There have been big storm systems that have been going to the north, to the south, to the east, you know.

887
01:16:18,000 --> 01:16:19,000
Yeah.

888
01:16:19,000 --> 01:16:25,000
And they've just been going around us. So, we're in that kind of a pattern. Are you guys dry down there too?

889
01:16:25,000 --> 01:16:27,000
Yeah. Yeah.

890
01:16:27,000 --> 01:16:43,000
Okay. That's our dot. It's kind of like a mid-Missouri, western Missouri thing. Northern, north. North is fine. North has been getting all kinds of rain. Northwest Missouri, northeast Missouri. And the cutoff is about 36 highway. You know where 36 highway is, of course.

891
01:16:43,000 --> 01:16:51,000
Just a little bit to the south of 36 highway, they've had plenty of rain. Or to the north of 36 highway, they've had plenty of rain.

892
01:16:51,000 --> 01:16:52,000
Yeah.

893
01:16:52,000 --> 01:17:00,000
A little bit to the south of it, been bone dry. So, anyhow. Alright everybody. Thank you for listening. We love you guys. Goodnight assholes.

894
01:17:00,000 --> 01:17:04,000
Goodnight assholes.

895
01:17:04,000 --> 01:17:16,000
Oh no. Looks like the show's over kids. Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic. Fear not assholes. They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.