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And now it's time for...

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The Daily Deucebag Pledge

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Here at Two Deucebags in a Microphone, we don't stand behind our journalistic integrity.

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Go ahead and assume we got the story wrong. At least we admit it.

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Not like all those other guys, we can and will lie if it makes the story better.

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Two Deucebags and a Microphone

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We Talk

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Jesus

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The Daily Deucebag Pledge

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The Daily Deucebag Pledge

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Next time you take a dump, listen to Two Deucebags and a Microphone.

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It's been proven in laboratory rats to relax your anal canal.

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Get in somewhere.

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Have you ever wondered where something came from?

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Have you ever looked at something and said,

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I wonder what the origin of that is?

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Well, so have we.

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That's why we give you The Origin of...

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This is the origin of the Big Mac.

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The original Big Mac sauce was created in 1968 at a McDonald's in Pittsburgh

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by a franchise owner named Jim Delegati to serve with the Big Mac itself.

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The sauce first came in two different flavors,

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but then they were ultimately combined by McDonald's head honcho Ray Kroc in 1972

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in order to ensure consistency.

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Two Deucebags and a Microphone, raw and uncensored.

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See behind the smoke show.

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Watch as the Deucebags get stung by a scorpion beast.

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Enjoy one of many coffee houses ordering our heroes out.

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Watch Mark revisit Clinton, Missouri to claim his innocence for all the mad shitter accusations.

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Act now and get both high quality DVD sets and a free Deucebag calendar.

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Mark off the day with a Deucebag looking at you.

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Supplies are limited, so act now.

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Hi all, this is Chicago.

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I am the most dangerous city in North America.

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Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho.

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You can't touch me.

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Oh yeah? This is Kansas City here.

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Hold my beer, bitch.

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And now, deep thoughts with Mark.

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Hmm.

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If at first you don't succeed,

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maybe you shouldn't try skydiving.

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Just a thought.

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Hmm.

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Tomorrow morning while grinding your coffee beans for your double mocha latte,

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remember to not get your genitals caught in the grinder.

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It really hurts.

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Who can afford plastic surgery?

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Stay safe everyone.

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Hello everybody. Two Deucebags and microphone. I'm Mark.

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And I am Rob.

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Thanks for joining us.

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Rob, you know Crocs, right?

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You know those crazy...

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Yeah, yeah I hate them.

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Well there's a new Crocs out.

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And it's Pringles Crocs.

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Pringles Crocs.

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Yeah, Pringles as in the chips.

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Yeah.

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It's a collaboration of both of them.

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This did not surprise me.

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On Thursday, the Crocs shoe company announced all new set of kicks with Pringles.

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And no, it's not just slapping mustaches on everything.

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But rather it's making footwear that's actually useful to everyone who can't go a single step without their chips.

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In total, the two companies have come together.

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You see this is going to go well with what you have coming up Rob.

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We got two...

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Yeah, we're off the wall tonight.

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Yeah, yeah. That's cool.

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I like ones like this.

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Where we just got crazy stories after crazy stories.

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So...

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Okay, so you know.

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It's not just putting mustaches on everything like the crazy Pringle bastard that they have on their cans.

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In total, the two companies have come together to create three limited edition Pringles inspired designs.

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With a suite of Pringles themed gibbets charms to help you fully deck out the look.

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The new drop includes the Pringles...

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And they're using these new words on here like kicks and drops and stuff like that.

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I'm not doing this. It's this article.

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I don't use kicks and drop. I would say shoes and the news.

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But anyhow, the new drop includes Pringles X Crocs Classic Crush Boot.

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Made with the classic Pringles red and a stacked crisp heel.

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The boots also sport a first of its kind custom holster to store a grab and go Pringles can.

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So fashion...so fashion it is...or what they call it.

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Fashion...you know what? Fuck them.

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Alright. Anyhow.

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I'm not going to read anymore of that stupid article because the writer there...

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He thinks he's too smart. Anyhow. He's fucking boring.

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So...anyhow.

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And there's all the food and wine.

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Let's see. What the hell?

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Shit.

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I guess the name of the...the name of the website is Food and Wine.

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Anyhow, whoever wrote this, fuck you. It's stupid.

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But anyhow, it's as stupid as Crocs.

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Crocs and especially Kringle or Pringle...

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Crocs. You see, he's got me fucked up now.

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Okay. For one thing, Crocs are dangerous on wet pavement.

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Yes they are.

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Once too many people get hurt because they're slick.

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Wait. You get hurt.

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Yeah. Yeah. People talk about how comfortable they are.

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I talk about how dangerous they are. They really are.

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Yeah. Me too.

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I watched my ex break a couple bones in her body wearing Crocs.

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Walking on wet floors.

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Crocs...yeah. They're not...and they have absolutely no foot support at all.

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It's like walking around barefooted.

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So if you want fucked up feet and ankles, go ahead and wear them.

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And also very possible slipping on something wet because they don't have good traction.

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I am not a Crocs fan either. I hate them.

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I think they're stupid as slipping shoes and worthless. My opinion.

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Okay. Well, no, no, no, no, no. I got to back you off on that.

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Okay.

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There is one good use I had found for that.

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You know what? I want to hear it. I want to know.

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Jail.

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Jail?

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Yeah. You go to jail, instead of shoes, they give you Crocs.

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Oh, they do?

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At least the last time I was in jail was like 10 years ago.

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You're serious? They give you Crocs so you can't hurt anybody with your shoe, I guess.

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They do down here.

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Wow. Okay.

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Okay. Truth be told, I was wanted on a child support warrant out of Cass County, which is up there.

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Yeah.

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Our home area.

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We know where Cass County is.

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Home to go.

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Yep. We do very well in Harrison, but who knows it?

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I got arrested down here. I was being held in a red shirt pod with the killers and rapists.

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And I was just waiting next to this dude for like three days.

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Oh, shit.

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And they had me with these people. I get all the way to Harrisonville.

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Harrisonville won't even put me in population because I'm on a civil case, not a criminal case.

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Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.

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I had to spend the next, what, six, eight days in a damn holding cell when I got to Harrisonville.

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At least I got to talk to people down here, you know.

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Wow.

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I like that, dude.

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Okay. Crocs are kind of like the nerf of shoes.

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You know how you play nerf football so no one gets hurt, lightweight.

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That's the whole, that's what crocs are. They're the nerf football of shoes.

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Well, if you're walking around jail, it's about all you need.

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Yeah. Yeah.

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That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.

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If you slap somebody with one of them, all it's going to do is piss them off and they'll knock the shit out of you.

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Yeah. And then the fight's on and everybody gets locked down, whatever.

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Yeah. Yeah. So anyhow, so that's about the only use for crocs I've ever heard of, Rob.

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I appreciate that. So Rob Radd, there you go. Rob Radd tells you the only use for crocs.

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Besides clogging up someone's toilet that you don't like.

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Yes.

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That's the other use. That's the other use.

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Okay. All right, Rob. Well, let's go right into your story that you told me about.

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Yeah. I'm going to go into the first one I told you about.

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Yes, exactly.

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As just about every American adult knows and is dreading, Monday, April 15th is Tax Day.

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Each year-

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I'm already doing this.

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This is hilarious. Each year taxpayers scrounge together each income statement the government requires

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and any other random receipt that may result in a modest deduction in the amount they're expected to pay.

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The IRS wants taxpayers to know that if you made money from anything illegal last year,

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stealing, selling illegal drugs, taking bribes, then that's taxable too.

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Last year Americans spent $6.5 billion to hours doing their taxes,

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which translates into roughly $260 billion in lost productivity.

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That's in addition to the $104 billion they spent in direct costs on the actual tax filing and preparation.

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Much of that complexity stems from the amount of deductions and callbacks the tax law allows

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as well as types of revenue required by the treated as taxable income.

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Okay, here's what it says.

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IRS publication 17 covers the general rules for filing a federal income tax return.

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In its most current edition, the IRS advises income for illegal activities such as money from stealing illegal drugs

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must be included in your income on schedule one form 1040 line 8C.

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They get technical on this shit, dude.

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Or on schedule C form 1040 if from your self-employment activity.

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So put your illegal drug activity on your self-employment.

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Here's what they're saying.

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This is crazy, dude. I read out there, this is perfect.

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Wow.

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Yeah, the IRS, you just collect money on your illegal debt.

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Well, Joe Biden did hire a bunch of more IRS agents when he took office, so there you go.

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Well, here's the one thing you've got to remember.

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Okay.

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IRS is not a government office.

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They are subcontractors.

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Oh, yeah, yeah.

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Let's leave it right there.

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Yeah.

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Let's leave it right there.

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Okay.

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Let's not get political.

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Oh, no, I didn't say anything.

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But I have heard that.

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I always say.

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I have heard that as a good story.

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All I did was speak the fact.

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Joe Biden hired a bunch of.

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Right, right, right.

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You too.

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So in my opinion, there's so many of them, they come up with stuff like this.

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Anyhow, okay.

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Yeah, so everybody, if you're drilling, if you're healing illegal drugs, make sure you

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claim it on your taxes.

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Yeah, what's wrong with you guys?

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Come on.

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Yeah, come on, man.

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I mean, if you don't, it's illegal, right?

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Do they think that we're that fucking gullible?

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Obviously, they do.

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Yeah, definitely.

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All right.

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Moving on.

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Okay.

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Target is introducing cameras to identify shoplifting as self-checkout machines.

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The new system will be rolled out all Target stores by the end of 2024.

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It's called TruScan.

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It reportedly can identify unscanned items and repeat offenders and it's artificial intelligence

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that's doing it.

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So obviously, they're getting ripped off a lot, right?

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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So now, they're going to have artificial intelligence monitoring this.

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And here's what I got to say.

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Amazon just got rid of all its walkout stores and this is stores that you take a bunch of

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groceries, right, or whatever, and you just walk through the doors and it automatically

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tallies everything up and takes it from your Amazon card, right?

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From your Amazon credit card.

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So, what happened is they ended up having to close them all down because first, the AI

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did not work correctly.

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It was overcharging, undercharging, or not even noticing people going through the door.

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It was erratic, it overcharged, it undercharged, all this stuff.

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And then sometimes, it just flattened and didn't work.

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So then, they had to subcontract a bunch of call centers and then the demand was so big

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that they couldn't keep up with it.

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So, it was just as bad as AI doing it to where they kept having all these problems.

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So, they ended up shutting that down too and now they're back to square one.

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And what they're looking at now is in the basket technology.

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Not AI, but it's something with cameras and monitors inside the basket.

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So, if you throw it in the basket, it checks it for you.

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Okay, so the thing I want to know is, is what if you were looking at something, okay, and

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you're like, hmm, hey, you know what, I don't need that.

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That is an impulse purchase.

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I'm going to put it back.

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So, once you put it back in there, does it deduct it if you take it back out?

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A lot of people do that.

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I've done it before too, right?

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You get something and you walk down the aisle and you're like, you know what, man, I'm going

248
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,000
to have a huge bill.

249
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,000
I really don't need this.

250
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,000
I can get it next time.

251
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:38,000
You know, is some sort of an impulse buy, you sit there in the corner, I don't know,

252
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,000
let's say it's a boombox.

253
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:44,000
Okay, you're like, wow, $59.99, that thing looks cooler than shit.

254
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,000
So, you grab it and then you get a couple of aisles down.

255
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,000
You're like, man, I can't do it.

256
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:51,000
It may be a great deal, but I just can't afford it.

257
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,000
So, you take it out of there.

258
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,000
Does it deduct it when you take it out of there?

259
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,000
Because a lot of people do that.

260
00:16:56,000 --> 00:17:00,000
A lot of people will put something in their cart, then they'll take it back out going,

261
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,000
you know what, I'm buying more than I anticipated.

262
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,000
I just can't do it this month.

263
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:08,000
And then the other thing is, isn't that an invitation for people to stick stuff in their

264
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,000
pockets and in their coats and stuff?

265
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:14,000
Because if all you're worried about is the basket, you're not worried about anything

266
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,000
else, right?

267
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,000
No, no, no.

268
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,000
Yeah.

269
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,000
I wouldn't be.

270
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:25,000
Yeah, I'm going to be very interested to see how all this turns out.

271
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:29,000
Target stuff with their AI because it didn't work with Amazon.

272
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:35,000
And Amazon stuff with their new basket technology that they're going to roll out with on all

273
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,000
their Amazon stores.

274
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,000
And I'm talking about brick and mortar stores.

275
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,000
I'm not talking about online stores.

276
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,000
These are...

277
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,000
Right, right, right.

278
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:46,000
So, I think it's going to be very interesting to see what happens.

279
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:51,000
I know that Sam's Club stopped a lot of their walkout technology because it wasn't working

280
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,000
correctly.

281
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:56,000
And in the walkout technologies where you throw everything in your basket when you walk

282
00:17:56,000 --> 00:18:01,000
out, it scans it and says, all right, you owe us $562.

283
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:05,000
And then the Sam's card is a credit card too.

284
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,000
It'll deduct...

285
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:09,000
I would say, fuck that, my personal...

286
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,000
Yeah, yeah, it will set...

287
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,000
I wouldn't trust it.

288
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,000
I wouldn't either.

289
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,000
I wouldn't either.

290
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:17,000
And then what do you do?

291
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,000
You go to...

292
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:25,000
Well, now, what you do is do like most adults, you keep track of what you're spending as

293
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,000
you're going to the store.

294
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:32,000
And then when you have a difference at the register, then you have something to complain

295
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,000
about.

296
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,000
Yes.

297
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,000
Yeah.

298
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:38,000
When there's a person there or if the price is wrong, then you go, wait a minute, man.

299
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,000
Yeah.

300
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,000
Wait a minute.

301
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,000
Back there it says $4.

302
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,000
How come you're charging me $12 here?

303
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:45,000
How are you going to do that with a walkout technology?

304
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,000
You can't?

305
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:51,000
There has to be a human somewhere in that store.

306
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,000
Yes.

307
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,000
The same.

308
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,000
Yes.

309
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,000
And Amazon, I don't know.

310
00:18:55,000 --> 00:19:01,000
I've never been in an Amazon store and I don't plan on going into an Amazon store.

311
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,000
Anything I want from Amazon, I get online.

312
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,000
I have them put it on my front porch.

313
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,000
Bam, I'm good.

314
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:09,000
I don't need to go to an Amazon store.

315
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:13,000
So yeah, I mean, it's going to be interesting if you see something.

316
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,000
And then how hard is it to take it back?

317
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:20,000
Do you got to go to customer service like the Sam's Club walkoff technology?

318
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:27,000
Do you have to go to the customer service and then argue with them if you do that and

319
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,000
it's wrong or whatever?

320
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:33,000
You know, if you do that, you need to really keep track of your bill and the price of everything

321
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,000
because I could see them being gouged really easily.

322
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:38,000
You know, you just go through there and go, okay.

323
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,000
Yeah, me too.

324
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,000
Okay.

325
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,000
All that was $500.

326
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,000
Okay.

327
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,000
All right.

328
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,000
Well, let's go.

329
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,000
So yeah, anyhow.

330
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,000
All right.

331
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:49,000
Hey, let's take our first break and let's come back here in a couple of minutes.

332
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,000
Sound good, Rob?

333
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,000
Sounds good.

334
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,000
All righty.

335
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,000
The apocalypse just happened.

336
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,000
You don't know what to do.

337
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,000
You don't know where to go.

338
00:19:55,000 --> 00:20:11,000
But we can tell you what you can eat.

339
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:16,000
Garlic mustard could and should be a go-to food during an apocalypse.

340
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,000
Garlic mustard is plentiful everywhere.

341
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:26,000
It is actually an invasive weed, but it can be very delicious and easily taken from about

342
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,000
any pasture.

343
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:33,000
Garlic mustard can be stewed or even pan-fried for delicious taste.

344
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:38,000
It can also be added to other ingredients, whether it's a salad or any other type of

345
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,000
food to enhance it.

346
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:43,000
Garlic mustard should be a go-to staple during the apocalypse.

347
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:53,000
Two douchebags in a microphone invade your ear holes in, hey, who took a dump in the

348
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,000
cooler?

349
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:58,000
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.

350
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,000
Hmm.

351
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:05,000
I wonder what my dog named me.

352
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:06,000
Hmm.

353
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:09,000
I may never know.

354
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:16,000
Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark.

355
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:21,000
I should have never taught that damn dog how to read.

356
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:26,000
Next up, things overheard in hell.

357
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:31,000
Dishwater has the top 10 spots on Billboard Hot 100.

358
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:36,000
Two douchebags in a microphone, raw and uncensored.

359
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,000
See behind the smoke show.

360
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:41,000
Watch as the douchebags get stung by a stalk of bees.

361
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:45,000
Enjoy one of many coffee houses ordering our heroes out.

362
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:50,000
Watch Mark revisit Clinton, Missouri to claim his innocence for all the man shitter accusations.

363
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,000
I didn't do it.

364
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,000
I'm not the man shitter.

365
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,000
Act now and get both high quality DVD sets and a free douchebag calendar.

366
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:59,000
Mark off the day with a douchebag looking at you.

367
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:02,000
Supplies are limited, so act now.

368
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:06,000
Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper.

369
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,000
Strange insults from an alien.

370
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,000
Real hilarity.

371
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:16,000
You are the human equivalent to a participation trophy.

372
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:27,000
Dogs, right?

373
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:30,000
You know, yeah, they got them here and there.

374
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,000
At ports they have a lot of them.

375
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:35,000
In other places, airports, they definitely have a lot of them.

376
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:38,000
And these dogs sniff out drugs, okay?

377
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:44,000
Well, Switzerland are rolling out drug detecting chickens.

378
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,000
Yes, you heard right.

379
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:46,000
Bok bok.

380
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:47,000
Chickens.

381
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:53,000
Swiss police announce the newest weapon in their war on drugs.

382
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:54,000
Sniffer chickens.

383
00:22:54,000 --> 00:23:02,000
The new flock of, it's a Swiss word, Drogensphurin or drug detecting chickens

384
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:07,000
join the squad after a successful testing phrase, according to police.

385
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:12,000
Cheaper to train and keep than dogs, the chickens also lay a daily egg,

386
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:15,000
police said, contributing to their cost effectiveness.

387
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:18,000
So I guess one of them grabs an egg and they eat it, right?

388
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:21,000
Yeah, one egg, come on.

389
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,000
That ain't gonna feed many.

390
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,000
You know what, I agree with you.

391
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:27,000
I'm a three egg omelet guy and I'm pretty sure you are too.

392
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:30,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, at least three.

393
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,000
If not four, five.

394
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:35,000
I mean, to me, a one egg omelet is worthless.

395
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,000
You might as well give me...

396
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:41,000
I can eat eggs all day long and not fill me up, just saying.

397
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,000
Yeah, they're not very filling.

398
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:46,000
You give me one egg and it's like having three peas on a plate.

399
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:49,000
It's like, okay, there you go.

400
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,000
I mean, like, what the fuck?

401
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,000
Okay, that was the appetizer, barely.

402
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:55,000
So now give me the main omelet.

403
00:23:55,000 --> 00:24:02,000
And then they also have service cats too now.

404
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,000
Putting the cat amongst the chickens,

405
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:08,000
Zurich police also announced felines will be joining their canine unit.

406
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:13,000
After a period of long planning, you can't make this shit up.

407
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,000
No, this is not the fake story.

408
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,000
This is not my fake story.

409
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,000
You guys can look it up.

410
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:20,000
It's everywhere.

411
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:25,000
Yeah, we're in that mood tonight, and mine actually ain't my fake one either.

412
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,000
And I'll tell you what we're looking at.

413
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:30,000
A lot of these stories we have tonight could be our fake story, but they're not.

414
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,000
We're telling you these are not.

415
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:37,000
Zurich police also announced felines would be joining their canine unit.

416
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:38,000
Okay, I already read that.

417
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:44,000
After a quiet velvet paws and compact body mass are ideal for use in confined spaces,

418
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:52,000
the cats, but also house searches and peaceful man-trailing, they said.

419
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:57,000
So man-trailing, I guess, is being on someone's, you know,

420
00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:03,000
you're looking at someone thinking they might be, did something wrong.

421
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:09,000
So they say cats are easier, you know, to trail people, you know.

422
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:14,000
I don't see it. I don't see it.

423
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:18,000
This is, I own cats. I don't see it.

424
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,000
No, I don't.

425
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:24,000
I mean, the old saying is, and I think there's a lot of truth in it,

426
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:27,000
you don't own a cat. A cat owns you.

427
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:31,000
Exactly. My cats lay right the fuck here.

428
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:32,000
Don't do nothing.

429
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:36,000
And you don't pick a cat. A cat picks you.

430
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:39,000
A cat looks at you and goes, no, that's-

431
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:40,000
You want to send them after criminals.

432
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:41,000
Yes. Yeah.

433
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,000
No, I don't see that.

434
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:47,000
You know how a cat looks at you and is like, okay, he's a human, I know,

435
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:50,000
but I'll go ahead and take him because I need a food source.

436
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:51,000
Isn't that the look you get?

437
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:52,000
Good point.

438
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:55,000
Yeah. It's like, okay, that's a food source.

439
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,000
I think he's kind of stupid and goofy looking,

440
00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:01,000
but he's going to give me food so I'm going to have to put up with the stupid shit to get food.

441
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:04,000
That's the way I see a cat looking at me.

442
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:07,000
Then I see if there's like, if you have more cats,

443
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:11,000
they get in the corner and they talk about us. You know they do.

444
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,000
You know, they're like-

445
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:16,000
Oh yeah, we got three of them. Yeah, they talk about us humans all the time.

446
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,000
Yeah, you know, they're going in there and going, man,

447
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:21,000
that guy is a dumb fucking piece of shit, isn't he?

448
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,000
Man, he's as stupid as a box of rocks.

449
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,000
But he gave me my food, so I'm going to stick around.

450
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,000
What about you, Ralph?

451
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,000
Eh, you know what? I'm going to have to go find a new owner,

452
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:30,000
so yeah, I guess I'll stay here.

453
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:34,000
I don't like him, but I'm just going to stay here because there's food here.

454
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:37,000
So anyhow, where a dog looks at you and a dog's like,

455
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:44,000
I love you, you're the best, you're my best friend, you're awesome, man, you're awesome.

456
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:48,000
And a cat's just kind of like, yeah.

457
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:53,000
So anyhow, go ahead, Rob, with yours.

458
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,000
Are you ready for this one?

459
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:58,000
Yes, I've taken that about as far as I can, so it's your turn.

460
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:01,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

461
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:05,000
Okay, and this one is not my fake story either.

462
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:06,000
Okay.

463
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:09,000
And you can find this on Daily Mail.

464
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:13,000
There you go. So if you think he's making it up, look at Daily Mail.

465
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:19,000
I'm not. This one is not my fake, but it sounds like it very well could be.

466
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:22,000
You know what? We need to really just quit telling them they're fakes.

467
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:25,000
That way they got to look up everything if they want to catch us.

468
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:32,000
Yeah, but this is one of those ones that I want people to know actually happened.

469
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:33,000
I'm not making this up.

470
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:39,000
I get that. I get that. Okay.

471
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:46,000
A woman has died after using a hemorrhoid ointment laced with toxic metal.

472
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:53,000
The patient who lived in Sacramento, California, had purchased a treatment on Facebook,

473
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:57,000
which was then mailed to the U.S. from Vietnam.

474
00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:04,000
But after using the cream, she suffered from severe lead poisoning, official said,

475
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:12,000
which in serious cases can cause seizures, swelling in the brain, and organ failure.

476
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:13,000
Wow.

477
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:23,000
The test revealed the product contained 4% lead several thousand times above the safe limit.

478
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:28,000
Rob, does it say, and you may be getting to it, I hope I'm not spoiling it.

479
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:29,000
I have the name of it.

480
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,000
Okay, was it from China?

481
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,000
I have the name of it.

482
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:32,000
Was it from China, maybe?

483
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:33,000
Huh?

484
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,000
Was that product from China?

485
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:35,000
Vietnam.

486
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:38,000
Oh, Vietnam? Okay, okay. Go ahead. I'm sorry.

487
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:45,000
Okay, it comes amid recalls for a range of products painted with lead in the U.S.,

488
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:52,000
including applesauce patches for babies, syphilis, and even warnings over dark chocolate.

489
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,000
Okay, well those were the warnings here in the U.S.

490
00:28:55,000 --> 00:29:02,000
This is coming from Vietnam, and I have the name, and I'm not even going to pronounce it.

491
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:05,000
I'm going to spell it, and it's six different words.

492
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:19,000
Official urging people not to buy the treatment called COCAO.

493
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:21,000
Chow?

494
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:25,000
E-O-I.

495
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:27,000
Bay?

496
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:31,000
T-R-I.

497
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:33,000
I don't know what that would be. Try?

498
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:38,000
Try. C-A-Y.

499
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:39,000
Okay.

500
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,000
T-H-A-U.

501
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,000
Okay, whatever that is.

502
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:47,000
D-A-U. Like I said, you can look this up.

503
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,000
Okay.

504
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:53,000
Try, boy, try, okay. Oh, no, I don't know.

505
00:29:53,000 --> 00:30:00,000
You know what? If you want it, look at this product so you don't buy it. Just type in the story.

506
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:11,000
It is like a flash container of like a fake appointment with a green cap that has this name on it.

507
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:16,000
And it says, indispose of any of the product they have at home.

508
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:19,000
And this product is easy.

509
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:21,000
It's for hemorrhoids.

510
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:24,000
It's easy to identify because of the name.

511
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:25,000
I don't know.

512
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:31,000
Wow, that's crazy, man. Well, you know what? China puts a lot of lead in their stuff, too.

513
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:34,000
I mean, they're leading their nuclear waste. They send over a heater in their stuff.

514
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:35,000
That's a concern.

515
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,000
Yeah, that's crazy.

516
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:44,000
And now a woman has actually died from putting ointment on her ass, dude.

517
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:47,000
Wow. Probably had bad hemorrhoids and was like, fuck.

518
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:50,000
Hemorrhoids cream. Ass cream.

519
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:56,000
She might have been wanting to be discreet so she didn't want to go down to Walgreens and get some hemorrhoid ointment.

520
00:30:56,000 --> 00:31:00,000
So she's like, you know what? I'm going to... Here, there's some on Facebook.

521
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:03,000
I'll get it here. The guy doesn't know me. He's going to mail it to me.

522
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:06,000
You think it was probably something like that?

523
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:14,000
Because I'm sure it's probably really embarrassing to walk in a store and buy Preparation H just like it is, I don't know,

524
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:19,000
like something for genital warts or herpes over the counter, herpes medicine.

525
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:24,000
Or even a prescription one, you know, like Valtrex or something.

526
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:29,000
I think that would be embarrassing to have to go get, right?

527
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:34,000
Okay, but I would rather drive 10 minutes to Walmart or wherever.

528
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:35,000
And do the self-checkout.

529
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:38,000
And wait a week in the mail.

530
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:39,000
Yeah, you see, I would do...

531
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,000
And still suffer in that all week.

532
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:46,000
That's it right there. I'd go to Walmart and get my Preparation H and I would go through self-checkout.

533
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:52,000
Just so I didn't have to look at the person, look at me thinking I got a burning asshole, right?

534
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:53,000
Yeah.

535
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:54,000
Yeah. So there you go.

536
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:58,000
I would rather... Yeah, I'd probably get something done now.

537
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,000
Well, yeah, yeah, me too. That's the way I would...

538
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,000
I'll run the store.

539
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:06,000
So don't suffer in silence. There's a commercial that says that. So anyhow.

540
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:07,000
Right, right.

541
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:13,000
Don't suffer in silence. Just go down to Walmart, buy your Preparation H or whatever treatment you like,

542
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:16,000
and go through self-checkout so you don't have to look the person in the eye.

543
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:22,000
And then he looks at you and he has this kind of look like, you got a burning asshole.

544
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:29,000
So anyhow, wow, that's crazy. You got to watch products from overseas.

545
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:30,000
Yeah, you do.

546
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:33,000
Like China, Vietnam, all those places.

547
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:41,000
Allegedly, China puts all of their hazardous stuff in our babies' toys and a lot of other products too.

548
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:46,000
And then they send it over here. They got rid of their hazard and it's over here.

549
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:51,000
And Joe, consumer's like, hey, look at my little trinket I got from China. Isn't this cool?

550
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:58,000
So there you go. You know, when I was younger, I knew a lady that had to go to the hospital

551
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:05,000
because she put Preparation H on her dentures.

552
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:09,000
And I know that was like some kind of an old joke or something, but this is true.

553
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:14,000
Yeah, but people actually did it. I know.

554
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:19,000
Yeah, she put it on her dentures and it did something to her like her gums and stuff.

555
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:24,000
And she had to go to the hospital and they had to like scrape her gums or something, I think is what it was.

556
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,000
Yeah, it was like a horrible deal.

557
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:31,000
If I remember the stories, it burns your gums, gives you like blisters and shit.

558
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,000
That must have been what happened to the woman.

559
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:34,000
If I remember right.

560
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:40,000
Because I remember her husband, you know, what's wrong with your wife? What's up?

561
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:43,000
And he very sheepishly said, well, he goes, here's the deal.

562
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:48,000
He goes, you know, she was not looking. It was in the morning. She's putting her dentures in.

563
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:57,000
And she accidentally put Preparation H instead of the denticrip or whatever it is or denture grip or whatever that stuff is.

564
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,000
And it did something to her gums.

565
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:04,000
And she had to go have her gum scraped, I think is what the terminology he used.

566
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:08,000
But this is a long time ago, so I could be remembering a little bit wrong.

567
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:16,000
So, yeah, so there's dangers in that, too. I mean, even, you know, even stuff that's not from overseas.

568
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:28,000
So speaking of stuff like that, like assholes, burning assholes, sustainable toilet paper company, who gives a crap, is launching a toilet roll into space.

569
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:34,000
All the way to Uranus.

570
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:38,000
This is not a fake story.

571
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:46,000
Or at least I didn't do this fake story. If this story is fake, it came from somewhere else, not me, from this website.

572
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:56,000
So, with billionaires chucking cars into space and taking their midlife crisis to the moon, we thought it was time to do something truly meaningful, the company said.

573
00:34:56,000 --> 00:35:06,000
The 3.2 billion kilometer journey will take about nine years and names for spacecraft are being crowd sourced on Instagram.

574
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:11,000
Current front runners are high plyer and also crap.

575
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:22,000
C period, R period, A period, P cosmic, real, Aerospace program.

576
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:29,000
I love that. It's like a man from Uncle. Remember that? You know, it is an acronym. This is like crap.

577
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:36,000
And it's an acronym for the company. So anyhow.

578
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:44,000
How would you like to be that pilot? Fly nine years in outer space just to deliver a roll of toilet paper?

579
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:50,000
Let me tell you, Rob, if that's the only work you could get, I think I would be in the unemployment line.

580
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:54,000
Honestly, you'd probably go down in history books. Yeah, that's true.

581
00:35:54,000 --> 00:36:03,000
Yeah. Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, there's a crap guy right there. Are you sure? Yeah, I saw a picture of him in space monthly.

582
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:07,000
Oh, my gosh, you're right. That is the crap guy.

583
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:19,000
Well, if not, we will be talking about you for years to come. That's true. And imagine if something happens, if something happens, he'll become a shed hero.

584
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:26,000
I want this dude to land on that. I do too. Just so we could talk about it.

585
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:38,000
Yes. I want the footage of him planting a toilet paper, a roll of toilet paper, an American flag going in the middle of it to keep it steady. Right?

586
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:44,000
On Uranus. On Uranus. Yeah. And that's what makes it bad.

587
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:53,000
While we're talking about weird shit like that, Love Island is the latest reality dating show looking for contestants if Aldi is to be believed.

588
00:36:53,000 --> 00:37:02,000
This happened on April 1st, okay? The supermarket chain invited potential applicants to tell them why they deserve to find love in the aisles.

589
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:09,000
But in a follow-up post after midday, when the opportunity for playing April Fool's Jokes traditionally expires,

590
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:15,000
the company said it was canceled the show as it had not been shown to the legal team.

591
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:23,000
It added, because of this, our bosses now confirm the show cannot go ahead and that although we gave off the vibe that we love court cases,

592
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:28,000
they're incredible, costly, and going forward with this plan would not be within our best interest.

593
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:36,000
So in other words, it was a April Fool's joke, but they tried to come up with some bullshit to get out of it.

594
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:45,000
So there you go. Aldi, good job. Because from what I understand, people instantaneously applied online for this.

595
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:51,000
They wanted to be a part of this love aisle dating show. And I guess it's like, you know, I don't know.

596
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:58,000
I think the premises was you get 30 males, 30 females, and they walk down the aisles and try to find love. Okay.

597
00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:04,000
I wish I would have heard about it. I would have showed up anyway.

598
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:11,000
What would have been your first thing you bought? Were you bought like extra large condoms? XL?

599
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:18,000
Oh, no. The biggest banana I could find. No, just kidding. Just kidding. No.

600
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:25,000
Actually, I'd probably buy some meat or something. That way they know I'm going to provide, you know.

601
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:29,000
Oh, there you go. Meat and charcoal. You can't go wrong with that.

602
00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:32,000
Yeah. That way they know I'm going to provide.

603
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:39,000
Yeah. Look, I got the charcoal for the heat and the cooking and I got the meat for the nutrition.

604
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:45,000
And with that, you'd probably have to like throw in some asparagus or something, right? To show that you're cultured.

605
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:52,000
Well, no. Well, yeah. But I'd also have to go to the candle aisle and buy a candle.

606
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:55,000
Yes. If I'm doing that, you got to get romance.

607
00:38:55,000 --> 00:39:08,000
And then at the very end, you got to go to the XL condoms and take them out real slow so every girl in there can see you buying extra large condoms, right?

608
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,000
Whether you need them or not.

609
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:14,000
Yeah, whether you need them or not. And also flowers.

610
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:15,000
Oh, definitely.

611
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:18,000
Yeah, yeah. So, okay. So let's go.

612
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:25,000
Well, no. I got it wrong with me telling you. They really don't like flowers because you buy them some and they'll die.

613
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:29,000
No, Val doesn't like it either. She'd rather me buy something else.

614
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,000
They want something that's going to last forever.

615
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:34,000
She'd rather me buy her a plant that she can plant outside and it'll live for a long time, hopefully.

616
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:37,000
Yeah, that would be more better. A plant, not flowers.

617
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:40,000
Her crate and murder is alive, we found out.

618
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:43,000
You buy her a couple roses, they'll be dead in two, three days.

619
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:48,000
Okay, so Rob, refreshing this. You're in Love Island, okay? So you're walking into Aldi, right?

620
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:51,000
So the first thing you're going to do is you're buying meat, right?

621
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:53,000
Yep, meat.

622
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:54,000
The second thing?

623
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:55,000
Go with the meat.

624
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:57,000
You're buying charcoal, right?

625
00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:00,000
Charcoal and then potatoes. Got to have potatoes.

626
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:03,000
Got to have potatoes. And then you're going to buy some sort of vegetable.

627
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:07,000
And then you mention asparagus. Asparagus sounds good.

628
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:10,000
Yeah, yeah. You can grill that and it's very good.

629
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:11,000
Yeah, yeah.

630
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:18,000
Okay, you need a little butter for the asparagus to show them that you're not bland, that you add butter and it should taste great.

631
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:27,000
What about steak sauce? Do you go the steak sauce route or are you just like, no, we're just going to eat the meat like it is because it's good?

632
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:31,000
No, no, hey, I'm from Kansas City, we grill, dude.

633
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:33,000
Yes, so no steak sauce.

634
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:38,000
Yeah, no, it's all, yeah, just the flavor of the meat cooked.

635
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:42,000
Okay, so then you go over... It's good enough on a first date.

636
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:46,000
If they know you can do that, they know you can add sauce.

637
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:51,000
That's right, okay. So then after that, you go straight to the condom aisle, right?

638
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:57,000
The home and beauty or whatever? And you buy the XL condoms and then on your way...

639
00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:01,000
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Then, no, then you go buy the candle.

640
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:04,000
Oh, you buy the candle, yeah, that's right. You buy the candle.

641
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:05,000
Yeah.

642
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:06,000
Okay, so...

643
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:09,000
And then you go to the XL condoms.

644
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:17,000
Okay, all right. And then you buy flowers on the way out and not for the chick, but for the table.

645
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:18,000
Yeah, for the table.

646
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:21,000
Yeah, all right. Okay, so...

647
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:24,000
Then you're about to wipe out, am I?

648
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:27,000
Do you put white cloth napkins down?

649
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:31,000
Never mind, I'm going to shut up.

650
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:35,000
Do you put white cloth napkins down or not?

651
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:36,000
It don't matter.

652
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:39,000
Okay, all right. Okay. All right, Rob, you got something.

653
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:47,000
I squeezed all the juice out of that motherfucker, so it's your turn.

654
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:52,000
Okay. Do you know who Mara from the Progressive commercial is?

655
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:55,000
I do, but probably a lot of people don't.

656
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:59,000
She's the one that everybody says is annoying.

657
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:02,000
She's actually pretty cute. I'm on your side.

658
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:05,000
Yeah, I think so, too.

659
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:12,000
She's the one that talks you into getting a policy even though you didn't want to.

660
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:17,000
She's like, oh, okay, boroboroboroboring. You don't want to save all this money in the new car.

661
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:18,000
Yeah.

662
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:19,000
Ah, you're right. And then also...

663
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:21,000
She has something to say at every moment.

664
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:22,000
Yes.

665
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:25,000
That's part of what the problem people have with her.

666
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:29,000
Yeah, she's actually... They're still developing her character a little bit.

667
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:32,000
Like, it took them to develop Jamie quite a while.

668
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:34,000
He's this skittish, weird guy.

669
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:35,000
Right, right, right.

670
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:38,000
And then they had that one commercial where he's like king in the castle,

671
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:41,000
and he's got all these women in his harem and all these people,

672
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:44,000
these famous people coming up to him, a huge pool.

673
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:48,000
And then he went back to being a nerd and nobody likes him.

674
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:50,000
Right.

675
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:54,000
So it took him a long time to develop his character fully.

676
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:57,000
So Mara is still being developed,

677
00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:00,000
but she's kind of a quirky, off-balance chick

678
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:04,000
that is like really good at selling insurance, I guess.

679
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,000
Is that what you would say she is?

680
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:13,000
Yeah, well, I'm about to go in and explain who she is in real life.

681
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:14,000
Oh, okay, that's cool.

682
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:17,000
Well, I would just said that so people would know who we're talking about.

683
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:18,000
Compared to the character, yeah.

684
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:22,000
Yeah, she's short. Anyhow, go ahead, Rob.

685
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:27,000
Mara is the character everyone loves to hate,

686
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:31,000
the one who makes you want to reach through the screen

687
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:33,000
and shake some sense into her.

688
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:35,000
Not me. I like her.

689
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:37,000
I do too.

690
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:40,000
But who is she really,

691
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:46,000
and why has she become the target of so much fight for it?

692
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:48,000
I had no idea.

693
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:49,000
I guess I thought you meant it.

694
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:52,000
I don't know why.

695
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:57,000
I don't know what she does except talking people into policies.

696
00:43:57,000 --> 00:44:02,000
Well, let's go into who she actually is, and I'll go into that.

697
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:03,000
Okay.

698
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:04,000
All right?

699
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:05,000
Okay.

700
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:14,000
Mara is a fictional character played by comedian Natalie Palamati.

701
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:15,000
Wow, she's Italian.

702
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:17,000
In a series of the, huh?

703
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:20,000
She's Italian, I guess. Okay.

704
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:21,000
Or maybe Mary.

705
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:25,000
In a series of progressive insurance commercials.

706
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:30,000
Palamati is a talented actress and comedian

707
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:38,000
known for her work on shows like A, A One Man Show,

708
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:41,000
and The Powerpuff Girls.

709
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:44,000
Oh, okay. Okay.

710
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:51,000
But it's her betrayal of Mara that has made her a household name,

711
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:53,000
for better or worse.

712
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:59,000
While Palamati's commitment to the bit is indeniable,

713
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:05,000
not everyone is one over by her character's stick.

714
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:13,000
A quick scroll through social media reveals a feed of anti-Mara sediment

715
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:25,000
that would deem to decline her as annoying, irritating, and the worst.

716
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:29,000
But she's just an actress.

717
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:30,000
Yeah.

718
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,000
You know?

719
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:35,000
You'd think some of it people are just tugging cheek in it.

720
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:39,000
You'd think maybe that they don't really hate her like they say.

721
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:45,000
They're just kind of like, you know, because there are flow traditionalists

722
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:46,000
and they love flow, right?

723
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:49,000
So they think all the rest of them are a waste of time.

724
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:53,000
People think that they should have just kept flow and that was it.

725
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:56,000
Because I know a couple people, they think flow is hot,

726
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:59,000
they think she's cool, she's mod and all this stuff.

727
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:01,000
Well, I thought her character got old a long time ago

728
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:05,000
and they needed these ancillary things that kind of turned into bad things.

729
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,000
They needed to keep upgrading.

730
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:09,000
Yeah. Yeah.

731
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:12,000
And I like all the work that they put into each one.

732
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:14,000
And I mean, while you're talking about progressive,

733
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:17,000
then they have the guy that writes the book,

734
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:21,000
people who are becoming their parents and it's like unbecoming your parents.

735
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:22,000
Right.

736
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:23,000
Yeah.

737
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:27,000
And they kind of nail that straight on, I mean, you know,

738
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:29,000
with a lot of the stuff, you know, like,

739
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:32,000
hey, are you ever going to use that fascia board?

740
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:33,000
No.

741
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,000
Throw it in the dumpster.

742
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:38,000
You know, what about this crayon molding?

743
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:40,000
You're never going to use it.

744
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:41,000
Throw it in the dumpster.

745
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:47,000
You know, hey, how about these butter dishes make really great tupperware?

746
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:48,000
Throw it in the dumpster.

747
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:50,000
I mean, it is true.

748
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:53,000
Personally, I need him to come visit me.

749
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:55,000
I need him to come visit me too.

750
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:57,000
I need him to go, Mark, no.

751
00:46:57,000 --> 00:46:58,000
No.

752
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:01,000
But then I'll be busy for a while.

753
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:02,000
Yeah, me too.

754
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:04,000
I better have some vacation time.

755
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:05,000
That's all I got to say.

756
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:09,000
So, hey, that OK, was that it or you got more?

757
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:10,000
No, that was it.

758
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:17,000
I just wanted to explain who Mara is and that she gets an actress, you know,

759
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:24,000
so you can hate her all you want, but I like her because she plays a good part.

760
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:25,000
There you go.

761
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:28,000
And that's what this article goes into say.

762
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:29,000
Get off your ass.

763
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:32,000
She does good at playing her part.

764
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:34,000
Get off her ass.

765
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:35,000
All righty.

766
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:38,000
Let's let's take our son with her like me.

767
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:39,000
OK, cool.

768
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:41,000
Did I say that?

769
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:43,000
You can say that I can't.

770
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:48,000
So all I can say is she's very intriguing.

771
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:53,000
She's got a very complex character that I really enjoy immensely.

772
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:54,000
So anyhow.

773
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:55,000
All right.

774
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:56,000
We are going to be right back.

775
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:58,000
We're taking our second break.

776
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:00,000
That sound good?

777
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:01,000
Sounds good.

778
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:10,000
All right.

779
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:13,000
You do bags in a microphone, raw and uncensored.

780
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:15,000
See behind the smoke show.

781
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:18,000
Watch as the douchebags get stung by a swarming beast.

782
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:22,000
Enjoy one of many coffee houses ordering our heroes out.

783
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:27,000
Watch Mark revisit Clinton, Missouri to claim his innocence for all the man shitter accusations.

784
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:28,000
I'm not the man shitter.

785
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:32,000
Now and get both high quality DVD sets and a free douchebag calendar.

786
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:35,000
Mark off today with a douchebag looking at you.

787
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:37,000
Supplies are limited.

788
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:39,000
So act now.

789
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:40,000
Oh, shit.

790
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:42,000
What's that over there?

791
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:43,000
Oh, no.

792
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:45,000
It's an island of horrible jokes.

793
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:46,000
Oh, no.

794
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:47,000
It's an island of horrible jokes.

795
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:56,000
What do you call a bundle of hay in church?

796
00:48:56,000 --> 00:49:09,000
Christian Bale.

797
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:10,000
Hello.

798
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:11,000
This is Satan.

799
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:16,000
You might know me from my pet name, Inflation.

800
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:23,000
I'm here to tell you that there's no better way to relax than listening to two douchebags

801
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:27,000
in microphone by a nice warm fire at night.

802
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:32,000
I sit there and reflect on all the souls I burned that day.

803
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:35,000
Enjoy.

804
00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:41,000
Now, from his underground bunker in Camden, Missouri, stocked full of dried guts, canned

805
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:48,000
food, and a couple of vibrating toys, is ravellings of a madman featuring Rob Rant.

806
00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:52,000
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong line.

807
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:53,000
You're in the wrong line.

808
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:54,000
Brick Shit House Energy Drink.

809
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:55,000
That's right.

810
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:56,000
Brick Shit House Energy Drink.

811
00:49:56,000 --> 00:49:57,000
Make men and women go.

812
00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:58,000
Two hundred balls.

813
00:49:58,000 --> 00:49:59,000
Who wants to fuck shit up?

814
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:00,000
One of the most gun-a-crossing America.

815
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:01,000
Brick Shit House is for you.

816
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:02,000
Please enjoy Brick Shit House Energy Drink responsibly.

817
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:03,000
It's not readily available anywhere.

818
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:04,000
Because of liability issues.

819
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:05,000
Now, it's time for pick up lines from a loser.

820
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:06,000
You know what, I'm not going to do that.

821
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:07,000
I'm going to do this.

822
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:08,000
I'm going to do this.

823
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:09,000
I'm going to do this.

824
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:10,000
I'm going to do this.

825
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:11,000
I'm going to do this.

826
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:12,000
I'm going to do this.

827
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:13,000
I'm going to do this.

828
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:14,000
I'm going to do this.

829
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:15,000
I'm going to do this.

830
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:22,000
I'm going to do this.

831
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:27,000
I'm going to do this.

832
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:36,000
I'm going to do this.

833
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:46,000
I'm going to do this.

834
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:53,000
I'm going to do this.

835
00:50:53,000 --> 00:51:04,000
I'm going to do this.

836
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:11,000
I'm going to do this.

837
00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:14,000
I'm going to do this.

838
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:17,000
I'm going to do this.

839
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:18,000
I'm going to do this.

840
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:23,000
I'm going to do this.

841
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:29,100
I'm going to do this.

842
00:51:29,100 --> 00:51:30,000
I'm going to do this.

843
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:33,440
It's like, okay, call 1-888-blah blah blah, right?

844
00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:34,280
You call it.

845
00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:40,400
For new subscribers, okay, different programming,

846
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:44,640
the platinum package, if you wanna cancel,

847
00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:48,320
hit this button, and then you're on hold hell, right?

848
00:51:49,280 --> 00:51:51,400
Because they're gonna have maybe a couple people

849
00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:55,520
handling like 30,000 cancel calls.

850
00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:57,960
So maybe a lot of times these people are like,

851
00:51:57,960 --> 00:51:59,160
they remember to cancel, they're like,

852
00:51:59,160 --> 00:52:00,480
you know what, I don't have time, man.

853
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:02,560
I've been on hold for 20 minutes,

854
00:52:02,560 --> 00:52:06,640
and I don't know what to do, but a lot of times,

855
00:52:06,640 --> 00:52:09,600
I do know this, if you download the app or whatever it is,

856
00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:11,240
a lot of times there's a feature on there

857
00:52:11,240 --> 00:52:12,940
that they don't tell you about,

858
00:52:12,940 --> 00:52:15,480
that you can go up there and go to settings,

859
00:52:15,480 --> 00:52:17,440
and it'll say like manage my account,

860
00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:19,000
and then on manage my account,

861
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:21,840
it will say cancel your service.

862
00:52:21,840 --> 00:52:23,600
And then it'll ask you again a couple times,

863
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:25,280
are you sure you want to?

864
00:52:25,280 --> 00:52:27,440
Okay, once again, are you sure you want to?

865
00:52:27,440 --> 00:52:28,920
And you go, yes, yes.

866
00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:32,280
So anyhow, most people forget to cancel their service.

867
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:34,280
Soccer fan Neil Mahoney,

868
00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:39,480
when he subscribed to NBC's Peacock streaming service

869
00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:43,160
last year, has watched a single game of the Premier League,

870
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:45,280
but he wound up paying for extra time.

871
00:52:45,280 --> 00:52:46,800
When I signed up last fall,

872
00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:49,200
I intended to cancel at the end of the season in May,

873
00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:51,060
Mahoney recalls, but of course,

874
00:52:51,060 --> 00:52:53,440
when it came to the summer, I forgot to cancel,

875
00:52:53,440 --> 00:52:55,440
and I realized I paid for extra months.

876
00:52:55,440 --> 00:52:58,800
It's a familiar mistake,

877
00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:01,240
given the explosion of subscription services

878
00:53:01,240 --> 00:53:04,560
in recent years, Americans are increasingly signing up

879
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:07,880
to buy everything from bottled water to razor blades

880
00:53:07,880 --> 00:53:09,980
to pay by the month basis,

881
00:53:09,980 --> 00:53:11,800
but often forgetting to cancel

882
00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:14,200
when the subscriptions are no longer even,

883
00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:17,940
and I got one too, Quip, you know the toothbrush?

884
00:53:19,840 --> 00:53:22,840
Yeah, it was hell.

885
00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:25,200
I had to shut the fucking card off.

886
00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:28,520
Maybe I'm stupid, maybe I couldn't figure it out,

887
00:53:28,520 --> 00:53:31,460
but it seems to me like you can't find anything online

888
00:53:31,460 --> 00:53:32,740
on a cancel number.

889
00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:37,480
I mean, once you sign up online,

890
00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:40,080
it seems like, man, they're gonna get that five bucks

891
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:42,340
a month from you, or whatever the hell it is,

892
00:53:42,340 --> 00:53:45,640
but I started using a different type of toothbrush

893
00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:49,140
because in my opinion, the Quip didn't work as well,

894
00:53:49,140 --> 00:53:51,960
that ultrasound technology or whatever,

895
00:53:51,960 --> 00:53:54,240
at least on my teeth, it did seem to work well,

896
00:53:54,240 --> 00:53:56,160
maybe I did it wrong, I don't know,

897
00:53:56,160 --> 00:54:00,720
but anyhow, I was like, well, what the fuck do I do now?

898
00:54:00,720 --> 00:54:01,800
So I look up on the internet,

899
00:54:01,800 --> 00:54:04,920
I couldn't find a number to call to cancel,

900
00:54:04,920 --> 00:54:07,040
and then I tried calling the Quip number,

901
00:54:07,040 --> 00:54:09,600
and it kept taking me to this and that,

902
00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:11,100
and I couldn't figure it out,

903
00:54:11,100 --> 00:54:13,920
so finally I needed a different credit card

904
00:54:13,920 --> 00:54:17,060
for some fraud and stuff that was, I forgot,

905
00:54:17,060 --> 00:54:19,340
it was like some gas station I went to,

906
00:54:19,340 --> 00:54:22,640
so they said, no, we're not gonna extend this credit card,

907
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:24,400
we're gonna cut it off right now,

908
00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:25,880
we're gonna send you a new one,

909
00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:29,040
and that's the only way I got to shake those fuckers is that,

910
00:54:29,040 --> 00:54:32,400
and I'm not saying it's their fault, maybe it was my fault,

911
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:36,360
but I had hell trying to quit them,

912
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:39,940
so anyhow, I get coffee beans delivered

913
00:54:39,940 --> 00:54:43,220
from my favorite roaster in North Carolina by subscription,

914
00:54:43,220 --> 00:54:45,240
and by the way, Quip is coming up

915
00:54:45,240 --> 00:54:48,640
with a subscription service too to his coffees.

916
00:54:48,640 --> 00:54:52,640
Carly, good, good, good, good. Yes, yes.

917
00:54:52,640 --> 00:54:57,360
Yep, and he wants you for the cover of his ExpressOs,

918
00:54:57,360 --> 00:54:59,600
the Mining Ground, no, it's the Mining Ground coffee,

919
00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:02,720
not the ExpressOs, he wants you to wear the loin cloth

920
00:55:02,720 --> 00:55:07,020
that's featured on the jigsaw puzzle, right?

921
00:55:08,160 --> 00:55:11,200
Yeah, well, he's gotta get a hold of me.

922
00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:13,360
Okay, all right, he says he's point two.

923
00:55:14,820 --> 00:55:17,760
Okay, so this is typically convenient,

924
00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:22,320
but I go on vacation, I have coffee piling up on my doorstep.

925
00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:24,580
Mahoney, who's an economist, wanted to figure out

926
00:55:24,580 --> 00:55:27,200
how often people are paying for subscriptions

927
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:30,580
they no longer want, and their monthly charges

928
00:55:30,580 --> 00:55:33,240
pile them up for magazines and food box deliveries,

929
00:55:33,240 --> 00:55:36,560
and customers would gladly cancel if given opportunity.

930
00:55:37,720 --> 00:55:42,720
He and two colleagues at Stanford and Texas A&M University

931
00:55:43,640 --> 00:55:44,720
scrolled through the millions

932
00:55:44,720 --> 00:55:46,760
of anonymous credit card records,

933
00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:50,440
and they discovered a kind of a natural experiment.

934
00:55:50,440 --> 00:55:52,440
The ha-ha moment for us, Mahoney says,

935
00:55:52,440 --> 00:55:55,480
when we realize that when your credit card expires

936
00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:57,080
or you lose your credit card,

937
00:55:57,080 --> 00:55:58,520
and you get a new one in the mail,

938
00:55:58,520 --> 00:56:00,600
you're going to get an email from the companies

939
00:56:00,600 --> 00:56:02,640
where you have a subscription that says,

940
00:56:02,640 --> 00:56:05,580
can you log in again and update your payment information?

941
00:56:05,580 --> 00:56:08,040
When that happens, and people have to make

942
00:56:08,040 --> 00:56:11,760
an active decision whether to renew a subscription,

943
00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:15,960
they cancel for about four times as often

944
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:17,400
as during the other months.

945
00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:21,360
So basically, people don't cancel until you're, like me,

946
00:56:21,360 --> 00:56:23,560
I told you that my card, I had to have a different card

947
00:56:23,560 --> 00:56:28,560
because the gas station, and I'm not gonna say who it is,

948
00:56:28,840 --> 00:56:31,840
there are a chain of gas stations around Kansas City,

949
00:56:31,840 --> 00:56:34,560
and there was fraud, and I was told in the mail,

950
00:56:34,560 --> 00:56:38,040
hey, you know what, and this is my credit card company,

951
00:56:38,040 --> 00:56:43,040
and then I found out the company that they hacked into,

952
00:56:43,040 --> 00:56:46,840
and that's the only way I should have quit was that right there.

953
00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:49,680
Other than that, like I said, maybe I'm stupid,

954
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:51,560
maybe everyone else can figure it out,

955
00:56:51,560 --> 00:56:54,840
but, and I guess that's how everyone else

956
00:56:54,840 --> 00:56:56,160
cancels their credit cards too,

957
00:56:56,160 --> 00:57:00,400
they wait until they get updated or whatever,

958
00:57:00,400 --> 00:57:02,640
and then they send you something in mail saying,

959
00:57:02,640 --> 00:57:06,600
hey, you need to update your information,

960
00:57:06,600 --> 00:57:07,800
and they just don't.

961
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:11,080
So anyhow, Rob, we turn to you, you got any more stories?

962
00:57:11,080 --> 00:57:14,040
Yeah, I got one more.

963
00:57:14,040 --> 00:57:14,880
Alrighty.

964
00:57:16,120 --> 00:57:18,560
And I hope it's not too early.

965
00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:20,120
Well, it could be too early.

966
00:57:21,960 --> 00:57:26,960
It's not about OJ Simpson, it's about the white Bronco.

967
00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:29,960
Oh, in case anyone's wondering, OJ Simpson is still dead.

968
00:57:31,320 --> 00:57:33,160
Yeah, as far as we know.

969
00:57:33,160 --> 00:57:35,200
I checked, I checked, he's still dead.

970
00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:39,680
Yeah, you never know.

971
00:57:39,680 --> 00:57:41,000
Yeah, you're right.

972
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:47,520
This is about the famous Ford Bronco in the police chase.

973
00:57:49,320 --> 00:57:50,160
Okay.

974
00:57:52,080 --> 00:57:55,000
It's the Ford Bronco behind one of the most

975
00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:57,880
jaw-dropping moments in TV history,

976
00:57:57,880 --> 00:58:02,880
transporting OJ Simpson and his friend Al Colling

977
00:58:03,520 --> 00:58:08,400
during a wild 90-minute police chase back in 94.

978
00:58:08,400 --> 00:58:13,400
But the infamous vehicle's no longer in the pass lane,

979
00:58:14,720 --> 00:58:19,720
and it's simply on display at the Alcatraz East Crime Museum

980
00:58:22,200 --> 00:58:26,040
in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, where visitors

981
00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:29,320
can get a close-up look at the ride

982
00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:31,120
at the day of the country.

983
00:58:33,080 --> 00:58:35,800
It's been a bumpy journey, though,

984
00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:39,320
going from LA's Port-au-Pyre freeway

985
00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:42,720
to his final resting place in Tennessee.

986
00:58:42,720 --> 00:58:47,720
The J-PAT bet was detailed on a 2017 episode of Palm Stars.

987
00:58:55,360 --> 00:58:57,240
I didn't know it was detailed on there.

988
00:59:01,160 --> 00:59:03,760
OJ Simpson's former sports agent

989
00:59:03,760 --> 00:59:06,840
acquired the notorious Ford Bronco,

990
00:59:06,840 --> 00:59:11,840
German owner Colling, following the infamous freeway chase.

991
00:59:14,960 --> 00:59:17,160
Yep, I think anyone old enough remembers

992
00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:22,160
that famous part of time where every channel in the nation

993
00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:29,600
was showing the white Bronco going slow with,

994
00:59:29,600 --> 00:59:33,280
and I don't know why they needed 10,000 cops behind him.

995
00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:34,720
Oh my God, dude, yes.

996
00:59:34,720 --> 00:59:38,160
Why in the hell would you have like 50 cops behind him?

997
00:59:38,160 --> 00:59:41,800
If I was a criminal, I would went around looting right then.

998
00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:45,920
Every cop was following OJ on a slow speed chase.

999
00:59:45,920 --> 00:59:47,880
I think people were.

1000
00:59:47,880 --> 00:59:50,240
Oh, okay, they probably were, yeah.

1001
00:59:50,240 --> 00:59:51,080
Yeah.

1002
00:59:51,080 --> 00:59:51,920
I mean.

1003
00:59:51,920 --> 00:59:55,600
Okay, well, here's one last little tidbit.

1004
00:59:55,600 --> 00:59:56,440
Okay.

1005
00:59:57,640 --> 01:00:01,920
The cars fixed between other notorious getaway cars,

1006
01:00:01,920 --> 01:00:06,920
such as gangster John Dillinger's 1933 Essex Terraplane.

1007
01:00:08,960 --> 01:00:10,320
Oh, I'd love to see that.

1008
01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:16,040
Bonnie and Clyde's death car from the 1967 film.

1009
01:00:16,040 --> 01:00:16,880
Really?

1010
01:00:16,880 --> 01:00:18,080
Oh, from the film, okay.

1011
01:00:19,360 --> 01:00:23,360
And serial killer Ted Bundy's Volkswagen Beetle.

1012
01:00:26,600 --> 01:00:27,920
Wow, isn't that.

1013
01:00:27,920 --> 01:00:32,080
I guess this is the museum where they keep everybody's cars.

1014
01:00:34,160 --> 01:00:35,000
Okay.

1015
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:36,280
That's cool, that's cool.

1016
01:00:36,280 --> 01:00:38,400
It is cool, and I'm into stuff like that.

1017
01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:39,720
I'd love to go see them.

1018
01:00:39,720 --> 01:00:40,960
I mean, just because.

1019
01:00:40,960 --> 01:00:42,280
Yeah, I would love to see that.

1020
01:00:42,280 --> 01:00:44,080
Does it say where this is at?

1021
01:00:44,080 --> 01:00:47,240
Where, what city it's at?

1022
01:00:49,560 --> 01:00:51,600
It is, let me run back.

1023
01:00:54,520 --> 01:00:56,280
I don't know if I just didn't hear it,

1024
01:00:56,280 --> 01:00:58,040
or if I don't remember.

1025
01:00:58,040 --> 01:00:59,040
Pigeon Forge.

1026
01:00:59,040 --> 01:01:01,040
Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, right?

1027
01:01:02,120 --> 01:01:03,400
Yeah, Pigeon Forge.

1028
01:01:03,400 --> 01:01:06,160
Okay, very beautiful part of the country, by the way.

1029
01:01:07,400 --> 01:01:09,040
The Smoky Mountains, it's over there

1030
01:01:09,040 --> 01:01:10,120
near the Smoky Mountains.

1031
01:01:10,120 --> 01:01:12,320
They're kind of in the Smoky Mountains, really.

1032
01:01:12,320 --> 01:01:13,160
So there you go.

1033
01:01:13,160 --> 01:01:14,160
I love it over there.

1034
01:01:14,160 --> 01:01:15,480
Yeah, I do too, it's beautiful.

1035
01:01:15,480 --> 01:01:19,280
So you can rent a cabin, the Smoky Mountains,

1036
01:01:19,280 --> 01:01:22,280
and then you can go see Dillinger's getaway

1037
01:01:22,280 --> 01:01:27,280
and the white Ford Bronco of Al Cowling's,

1038
01:01:27,960 --> 01:01:30,440
and OJ in the back hiding, you know,

1039
01:01:30,440 --> 01:01:31,680
and all that good stuff.

1040
01:01:31,680 --> 01:01:34,160
So, all right, thank you, Rob.

1041
01:01:35,640 --> 01:01:37,320
Okay, this is an Eclipse story.

1042
01:01:37,320 --> 01:01:40,720
I know it's a couple weeks ago, but I didn't get to this.

1043
01:01:40,720 --> 01:01:42,840
And I'm trying to do a little cleaning here

1044
01:01:42,840 --> 01:01:45,120
and get some of these stories I didn't get a chance

1045
01:01:45,120 --> 01:01:45,960
to get with.

1046
01:01:46,840 --> 01:01:50,520
You get in because we got whatever, you know,

1047
01:01:50,520 --> 01:01:52,320
side track or whatever.

1048
01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:54,400
Okay, as the moon blocked the view of the sun

1049
01:01:54,400 --> 01:01:57,200
across parts of Mexico, the United States of Canada

1050
01:01:57,200 --> 01:01:59,960
on Monday, the Celestial Event managed,

1051
01:01:59,960 --> 01:02:01,880
and is a couple Mondays ago now,

1052
01:02:01,880 --> 01:02:05,560
the Celestial Event managed another magnificent feat.

1053
01:02:05,560 --> 01:02:07,520
It got people offline.

1054
01:02:07,520 --> 01:02:10,400
According to CloudFair, a cloud computing service

1055
01:02:10,400 --> 01:02:13,360
used by about 20% of websites globally,

1056
01:02:13,360 --> 01:02:16,640
and that traffic dipped along the path of totality

1057
01:02:16,640 --> 01:02:19,360
as spellbound viewers took a break from their phones

1058
01:02:19,360 --> 01:02:23,240
and computers to catch a glimpse of the real life spectacle.

1059
01:02:23,240 --> 01:02:25,080
The place with the most dramatic views

1060
01:02:25,080 --> 01:02:27,640
saw the biggest dips in traffic compared

1061
01:02:27,640 --> 01:02:30,240
with the previous week in Vermont, Arkansas,

1062
01:02:30,240 --> 01:02:33,720
Indiana, Maine, New Hampshire, and Ohio,

1063
01:02:33,720 --> 01:02:35,760
and actually probably Arkansas too,

1064
01:02:35,760 --> 01:02:36,880
and the Boothill, Missouri.

1065
01:02:36,880 --> 01:02:41,880
I didn't mention them, but they were at 99.5% or something,

1066
01:02:41,880 --> 01:02:45,920
I think, Cape Girardeau, and then just to the south

1067
01:02:45,920 --> 01:02:49,520
of Eureka Springs on a slant downwards

1068
01:02:49,520 --> 01:02:51,400
southern Oklahoma and Texas.

1069
01:02:52,360 --> 01:02:53,200
I can see that.

1070
01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:56,440
Yeah, we were gonna go to Eureka Springs and watch it,

1071
01:02:56,440 --> 01:02:59,000
but then we decided that we wasn't going to

1072
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:04,000
because everything's inflated so bad because of that,

1073
01:03:05,440 --> 01:03:07,520
and there were rooms available in Eureka Springs

1074
01:03:07,520 --> 01:03:11,720
because it wasn't 100%, it was really close to 100%,

1075
01:03:11,720 --> 01:03:13,080
but we're like, you know what,

1076
01:03:13,080 --> 01:03:15,320
it's close enough for us to go down there,

1077
01:03:15,320 --> 01:03:20,320
but like anything, if they think there's gonna be a rush

1078
01:03:20,320 --> 01:03:22,320
of people getting it, everything's jacked up,

1079
01:03:22,320 --> 01:03:23,720
so we're like, you know what, we'll wait,

1080
01:03:23,720 --> 01:03:27,720
and just we'll watch it around here where it's not as good,

1081
01:03:27,720 --> 01:03:30,120
and then we'll go down there later sometime

1082
01:03:30,120 --> 01:03:32,080
when it makes more sense.

1083
01:03:32,080 --> 01:03:34,560
So I got another story here.

1084
01:03:34,560 --> 01:03:37,120
This is a newer one though, it just happened.

1085
01:03:37,120 --> 01:03:40,440
If you ever tried to hold an abdominal plank,

1086
01:03:40,440 --> 01:03:41,640
you know what a plank is?

1087
01:03:43,200 --> 01:03:44,040
Yeah.

1088
01:03:44,040 --> 01:03:48,200
Yeah, you lay flat during a workout,

1089
01:03:48,200 --> 01:03:51,560
you know how challenging it can be even for a few seconds.

1090
01:03:51,560 --> 01:03:53,400
For many people doing a plank,

1091
01:03:53,400 --> 01:03:56,400
which is you support your body weight

1092
01:03:56,400 --> 01:03:59,920
with just your arms and toes for a minute or so,

1093
01:03:59,920 --> 01:04:02,640
it's a legitimate fitness goal for a lot of people.

1094
01:04:03,880 --> 01:04:06,800
That would be Child's Play for Donna Jean Wilde.

1095
01:04:08,160 --> 01:04:11,960
Her last name is Wilde for real, W-I-L-D-E.

1096
01:04:11,960 --> 01:04:14,240
The new world record holder for a female

1097
01:04:14,240 --> 01:04:17,640
with the longest time holding an abdominal plank position

1098
01:04:17,640 --> 01:04:20,480
on March 21st, Guinness Book of World Records

1099
01:04:20,480 --> 01:04:23,720
officially declared Wilde the new women's planking record,

1100
01:04:23,720 --> 01:04:27,040
and she's a grandma with a time of four hours

1101
01:04:27,040 --> 01:04:29,200
and 30 minutes and 11 seconds.

1102
01:04:29,200 --> 01:04:31,880
Now don't get this confused with regular planking,

1103
01:04:31,880 --> 01:04:34,000
which is lying on the ground.

1104
01:04:34,000 --> 01:04:36,760
This is an abdominal plank,

1105
01:04:36,760 --> 01:04:38,960
which is different than just planking.

1106
01:04:38,960 --> 01:04:40,480
Planking's where you lie on the ground

1107
01:04:40,480 --> 01:04:44,880
and you dead weight and you try to not let people move you.

1108
01:04:44,880 --> 01:04:46,920
They come up and try to.

1109
01:04:46,920 --> 01:04:48,600
It was a whole thing for a while.

1110
01:04:48,600 --> 01:04:50,160
Remember when everybody was planking

1111
01:04:50,160 --> 01:04:51,840
and they just thought it was cooler than hell

1112
01:04:51,840 --> 01:04:54,120
and I was sitting there shaking my head going,

1113
01:04:54,120 --> 01:04:56,520
who the fuck will waste all that time doing that?

1114
01:04:59,160 --> 01:05:01,440
Anyhow, Rob, you got anything?

1115
01:05:03,440 --> 01:05:05,080
I'm looking here.

1116
01:05:05,080 --> 01:05:07,080
I'm looking to see what else I got.

1117
01:05:07,080 --> 01:05:07,920
Okay.

1118
01:05:07,920 --> 01:05:12,640
I've got a couple stories here if you don't.

1119
01:05:12,640 --> 01:05:14,040
Yeah, I have some.

1120
01:05:14,040 --> 01:05:16,480
I just haven't really went over them yet.

1121
01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:17,320
That's okay.

1122
01:05:17,320 --> 01:05:18,640
Like I said, I'm kind of.

1123
01:05:18,640 --> 01:05:19,960
If you've got something.

1124
01:05:19,960 --> 01:05:21,520
I've got a lot of stories.

1125
01:05:21,520 --> 01:05:23,040
I mean, I'm trying to clear,

1126
01:05:23,040 --> 01:05:24,920
I'm trying to clean everything out.

1127
01:05:24,920 --> 01:05:28,400
Okay, sleep tourism is a new thing.

1128
01:05:28,400 --> 01:05:30,720
Have you ever heard of it, Rob?

1129
01:05:30,720 --> 01:05:31,960
Sleep tourism?

1130
01:05:31,960 --> 01:05:32,800
Yes.

1131
01:05:33,840 --> 01:05:37,080
I would say that's when you let your spouse drive

1132
01:05:37,080 --> 01:05:38,640
and you just kick back.

1133
01:05:38,640 --> 01:05:40,240
Yeah.

1134
01:05:40,240 --> 01:05:43,880
No, these are destinations where people just go to sleep

1135
01:05:43,880 --> 01:05:45,240
as much as they can.

1136
01:05:45,240 --> 01:05:46,520
It's a new thing.

1137
01:05:46,520 --> 01:05:49,520
You know, let's say that like the kids

1138
01:05:49,520 --> 01:05:52,760
and work and normal life keeps you up,

1139
01:05:52,760 --> 01:05:54,640
wait past your bed hours

1140
01:05:54,640 --> 01:05:58,560
and all you want to do is go somewhere away from everything

1141
01:05:58,560 --> 01:06:02,040
and get a good night's sleep or like maybe five in a row.

1142
01:06:02,040 --> 01:06:03,080
So.

1143
01:06:03,080 --> 01:06:04,600
I could see that.

1144
01:06:04,600 --> 01:06:05,440
I could too.

1145
01:06:05,440 --> 01:06:10,160
To sleep perhaps, perhaps to dream or if not to dream,

1146
01:06:10,160 --> 01:06:12,360
at least to feel vaguely rested the next day,

1147
01:06:12,360 --> 01:06:14,000
especially on vacation.

1148
01:06:14,000 --> 01:06:15,680
Is that too much to ask?

1149
01:06:15,680 --> 01:06:16,520
No.

1150
01:06:16,520 --> 01:06:18,920
For many people, yes, the United States is tired

1151
01:06:18,920 --> 01:06:19,760
and I agree with that.

1152
01:06:19,760 --> 01:06:21,480
We're all tired all the time.

1153
01:06:21,480 --> 01:06:22,880
We work hard.

1154
01:06:22,880 --> 01:06:24,320
We keep things moving.

1155
01:06:24,320 --> 01:06:26,680
There's so much stuff we have to do in this world

1156
01:06:26,680 --> 01:06:27,680
and this society.

1157
01:06:27,680 --> 01:06:29,000
It does wear you down.

1158
01:06:29,000 --> 01:06:31,760
According to the Natural Sleep Foundation

1159
01:06:31,760 --> 01:06:35,960
and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

1160
01:06:35,960 --> 01:06:38,080
and the National Institutes of Health,

1161
01:06:38,080 --> 01:06:41,280
that there is a link between poor sleep and depression

1162
01:06:41,280 --> 01:06:45,640
and NSSF Sleep in America poll found.

1163
01:06:45,640 --> 01:06:48,800
In the hospitality world, that's a business opportunity.

1164
01:06:48,800 --> 01:06:51,680
Hilton's 2024 Trends Report,

1165
01:06:51,680 --> 01:06:54,800
revealing that the main reason people currently travel

1166
01:06:54,800 --> 01:06:56,760
is to rest and recharge.

1167
01:06:56,760 --> 01:07:01,400
Well, you see, okay, this is described in a sleep.

1168
01:07:01,400 --> 01:07:03,840
I go to rest and recharge

1169
01:07:03,840 --> 01:07:06,720
by sitting on the porch and watching nature.

1170
01:07:06,720 --> 01:07:09,240
I actually sleep less during vacation,

1171
01:07:09,240 --> 01:07:11,600
but I feel more rested because-

1172
01:07:11,600 --> 01:07:12,440
Oh yeah.

1173
01:07:12,440 --> 01:07:13,640
I'm the same way.

1174
01:07:13,640 --> 01:07:15,720
I'd rather sit and listen to nature

1175
01:07:15,720 --> 01:07:17,960
than just be so quiet.

1176
01:07:17,960 --> 01:07:19,640
Me just getting away from everything

1177
01:07:19,640 --> 01:07:21,360
and being down in nature, you know,

1178
01:07:21,360 --> 01:07:22,960
or the beach or whatever,

1179
01:07:23,960 --> 01:07:25,680
I don't sleep that much during vacation

1180
01:07:25,680 --> 01:07:28,280
because I try to soak in every second of it

1181
01:07:28,280 --> 01:07:29,880
that I can, right?

1182
01:07:29,880 --> 01:07:32,200
So to me, I come back with less sleep,

1183
01:07:32,200 --> 01:07:36,280
but I feel rested because I just simply got away from work.

1184
01:07:36,280 --> 01:07:38,640
I got away from traffic.

1185
01:07:38,640 --> 01:07:40,960
I got away from household duties.

1186
01:07:40,960 --> 01:07:43,720
I got away from everywhere and a change of scenery.

1187
01:07:44,960 --> 01:07:47,400
I totally understand what you're saying.

1188
01:07:47,400 --> 01:07:51,520
And when you should be going to bed early,

1189
01:07:51,520 --> 01:07:52,960
you can't go to bed early

1190
01:07:52,960 --> 01:07:55,560
because you're enjoying it too much.

1191
01:07:55,560 --> 01:07:56,480
Yes.

1192
01:07:56,480 --> 01:07:59,680
So to me, I understand what they're saying

1193
01:07:59,680 --> 01:08:01,160
about sleep tourism,

1194
01:08:01,160 --> 01:08:04,200
but to me, it would be resting or anything,

1195
01:08:04,200 --> 01:08:06,120
but not as much sleep.

1196
01:08:06,120 --> 01:08:08,880
So I guess other people are geared differently.

1197
01:08:08,880 --> 01:08:10,880
Well, I'll put it like this.

1198
01:08:10,880 --> 01:08:13,320
We used to go on cruises with a lot of people

1199
01:08:13,320 --> 01:08:14,760
as a pack of people.

1200
01:08:14,760 --> 01:08:16,640
And there was a couple of people there

1201
01:08:16,640 --> 01:08:19,320
that liked to sleep almost all day.

1202
01:08:19,320 --> 01:08:21,040
And I'm like, man, what the hell?

1203
01:08:21,040 --> 01:08:23,160
They come back with no tans.

1204
01:08:23,160 --> 01:08:26,960
And I'd be like, why do they go on a boat just to sleep?

1205
01:08:26,960 --> 01:08:29,760
Well, it turns out that it was this,

1206
01:08:29,760 --> 01:08:32,800
that they didn't get very much sleep on their regular lives

1207
01:08:32,800 --> 01:08:34,400
and on a boat rocking.

1208
01:08:34,400 --> 01:08:35,880
That's where they slept the best.

1209
01:08:35,880 --> 01:08:39,640
So they chose to sleep a great deal of their vacation

1210
01:08:39,640 --> 01:08:40,480
and they loved it.

1211
01:08:40,480 --> 01:08:42,240
That's what they wanted to do.

1212
01:08:42,240 --> 01:08:44,480
Me, I was like, no, I'm gonna go upstairs.

1213
01:08:44,480 --> 01:08:46,320
I'm gonna get me a pina colada

1214
01:08:46,320 --> 01:08:49,840
and I'm gonna lie on the recliner up there

1215
01:08:49,840 --> 01:08:51,800
and I'm gonna get a tan and soak in the rays

1216
01:08:51,800 --> 01:08:52,920
and listen to music.

1217
01:08:52,920 --> 01:08:57,920
So anyhow, it is two different things

1218
01:08:58,240 --> 01:08:59,720
but I do understand what they're saying

1219
01:08:59,720 --> 01:09:00,960
about resting or anything.

1220
01:09:00,960 --> 01:09:04,000
I just don't do the sleep part.

1221
01:09:04,000 --> 01:09:07,160
So, okay.

1222
01:09:07,160 --> 01:09:08,360
And then I got another one here

1223
01:09:08,360 --> 01:09:10,600
I wanna throw out there while we're here.

1224
01:09:12,560 --> 01:09:16,400
A guy that used to work in the film industry,

1225
01:09:17,520 --> 01:09:20,080
he took and he added a commercial.

1226
01:09:20,080 --> 01:09:25,080
So what he did was he wanted to propose to his fiance

1227
01:09:26,680 --> 01:09:29,720
and since he used to work in the film industry,

1228
01:09:29,720 --> 01:09:33,600
editing, what he did was while they're watching a movie

1229
01:09:33,600 --> 01:09:36,800
in the middle, it broke into the movie

1230
01:09:36,800 --> 01:09:40,320
and he was on his knees and he asked her to marry him

1231
01:09:40,320 --> 01:09:42,200
and then when she turned and looked at him,

1232
01:09:42,200 --> 01:09:43,600
he had a ring in his hand

1233
01:09:43,600 --> 01:09:49,320
and I thought that was pretty cool.

1234
01:09:49,320 --> 01:09:50,160
Yeah.

1235
01:09:50,160 --> 01:09:51,000
Yeah, yeah.

1236
01:09:51,000 --> 01:09:56,000
So he actually edited a movie and put himself in there

1237
01:09:56,000 --> 01:09:59,320
proposing to his soon to be wife

1238
01:09:59,320 --> 01:10:01,360
and I thought that was neat because a lot of people

1239
01:10:01,360 --> 01:10:03,880
try to do different things for proposals

1240
01:10:03,880 --> 01:10:06,040
and all these weird things and maybe, I don't know,

1241
01:10:06,040 --> 01:10:09,120
skydiving or something or out in the middle of the woods

1242
01:10:09,120 --> 01:10:11,920
or I don't know, scuba diving proposal.

1243
01:10:11,920 --> 01:10:13,760
There's been all these things

1244
01:10:13,760 --> 01:10:17,000
but this guy just broke into a movie, edited it

1245
01:10:17,000 --> 01:10:20,680
and filmed himself asking her for her hand in marriage

1246
01:10:20,680 --> 01:10:23,840
and I think that was very tastefully done and awesome.

1247
01:10:23,840 --> 01:10:27,200
So Rob, did you find any other stories

1248
01:10:27,200 --> 01:10:28,640
or do you want me to keep going with the stuff

1249
01:10:28,640 --> 01:10:29,480
I'm trying to clean up?

1250
01:10:29,480 --> 01:10:32,000
Yeah, no, no, I got one more.

1251
01:10:32,000 --> 01:10:34,880
Actually, it's another recall, believe it or not.

1252
01:10:34,880 --> 01:10:36,200
Oh shit, okay.

1253
01:10:36,200 --> 01:10:41,200
I found this on my friend's KHMO AM1070

1254
01:10:44,680 --> 01:10:48,240
that I repeat that I come up with every now and then.

1255
01:10:48,240 --> 01:10:49,720
Is that the one out of Warrensburg

1256
01:10:49,720 --> 01:10:51,920
or Sedalia or something?

1257
01:10:51,920 --> 01:10:54,400
Yeah, I think it's Sedalia.

1258
01:10:57,440 --> 01:10:59,640
I'm just gonna read what it says

1259
01:10:59,640 --> 01:11:04,320
and yeah, I'm gonna read off the products

1260
01:11:04,320 --> 01:11:07,240
and this is in their words, not mine.

1261
01:11:07,240 --> 01:11:08,080
Okay.

1262
01:11:09,160 --> 01:11:13,360
I checked the calendar to make sure it wasn't April 1st.

1263
01:11:13,360 --> 01:11:15,560
This is not the fake story.

1264
01:11:17,080 --> 01:11:19,240
I said this is not a fake story.

1265
01:11:19,240 --> 01:11:22,120
Go ahead, Rob, I just wanna make that clear.

1266
01:11:22,120 --> 01:11:23,600
Okay.

1267
01:11:23,600 --> 01:11:27,600
Yeah, this is on KHMO AM1070.

1268
01:11:27,600 --> 01:11:28,880
Well, you see, if you do a recall,

1269
01:11:28,880 --> 01:11:30,720
some people may think it's a fake story

1270
01:11:30,720 --> 01:11:34,080
so I think we have to probably make sure that.

1271
01:11:34,080 --> 01:11:36,400
No, this is not a fake.

1272
01:11:36,400 --> 01:11:39,160
This, you don't understand.

1273
01:11:39,160 --> 01:11:42,880
Oh wow, I just found some alternative insults

1274
01:11:42,880 --> 01:11:45,040
that I did like, I don't know, two months ago

1275
01:11:45,040 --> 01:11:47,120
and I never told them I'm here.

1276
01:11:47,120 --> 01:11:48,680
Well, that'll be tomorrow.

1277
01:11:48,680 --> 01:11:49,600
Okay, anyhow.

1278
01:11:49,600 --> 01:11:50,920
Yeah, let's do that tomorrow.

1279
01:11:50,920 --> 01:11:51,760
Yeah.

1280
01:11:51,760 --> 01:11:54,000
Oh, and the Herc Vassal Olympics too tomorrow.

1281
01:11:55,040 --> 01:11:56,360
Yep, definitely.

1282
01:11:56,360 --> 01:11:59,920
And how about an ear tug, a nipple yank,

1283
01:11:59,920 --> 01:12:02,680
and a cheek bite?

1284
01:12:02,680 --> 01:12:03,520
I wanna do that too.

1285
01:12:03,520 --> 01:12:05,760
I need to write that down, shit.

1286
01:12:05,760 --> 01:12:06,600
Sorry.

1287
01:12:07,680 --> 01:12:08,520
Then you can do the rest.

1288
01:12:08,520 --> 01:12:10,480
I've got the rest ready.

1289
01:12:10,480 --> 01:12:14,160
Okay, so we're gonna do a, what was it?

1290
01:12:14,160 --> 01:12:18,160
An ear yank, a nipple yank.

1291
01:12:18,160 --> 01:12:19,960
No, nipple yank.

1292
01:12:19,960 --> 01:12:20,800
A nipple yank.

1293
01:12:21,920 --> 01:12:22,760
Ear tug.

1294
01:12:22,760 --> 01:12:23,600
Ear tug.

1295
01:12:25,000 --> 01:12:26,400
And an ass cheek bite.

1296
01:12:26,400 --> 01:12:27,400
An ass bite.

1297
01:12:27,400 --> 01:12:29,840
Okay, all right, we'll do that tomorrow

1298
01:12:29,840 --> 01:12:31,640
with the hairy asshole Olympics.

1299
01:12:31,640 --> 01:12:33,040
And alternative insults.

1300
01:12:35,800 --> 01:12:39,240
So go ahead with the very serious recall information.

1301
01:12:39,240 --> 01:12:40,080
Oh yeah.

1302
01:12:40,080 --> 01:12:40,920
Yeah.

1303
01:12:40,920 --> 01:12:43,120
Yeah, now that you've distracted me.

1304
01:12:43,120 --> 01:12:44,440
I totally destroyed you.

1305
01:12:44,440 --> 01:12:46,360
All right, now here we are, here we are.

1306
01:12:47,960 --> 01:12:49,040
I had to check the calendar

1307
01:12:49,040 --> 01:12:51,120
and make sure it wasn't April 1st.

1308
01:12:51,120 --> 01:12:52,440
Okay.

1309
01:12:52,440 --> 01:12:56,320
There was an early target pods in Missouri

1310
01:12:56,320 --> 01:13:00,920
and the danger is serious injury is no joke.

1311
01:13:00,920 --> 01:13:01,760
No joke.

1312
01:13:03,080 --> 01:13:03,920
Okay.

1313
01:13:03,920 --> 01:13:05,520
The bulletin comes from

1314
01:13:05,520 --> 01:13:09,200
the United States Consumer Product Safety Commission.

1315
01:13:10,200 --> 01:13:15,200
The wide reaching recall affects 8.2 million

1316
01:13:16,840 --> 01:13:20,080
detergent pods from fracture and gamble.

1317
01:13:21,040 --> 01:13:21,880
Okay.

1318
01:13:21,880 --> 01:13:26,120
And it's due to a problem with the packaging

1319
01:13:26,120 --> 01:13:30,000
that caused them to release and result

1320
01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:31,560
in serious injury.

1321
01:13:32,560 --> 01:13:33,400
The packaging?

1322
01:13:34,920 --> 01:13:35,760
Yes.

1323
01:13:35,760 --> 01:13:36,600
Okay.

1324
01:13:36,600 --> 01:13:37,440
Here's the problem.

1325
01:13:37,440 --> 01:13:38,280
All right.

1326
01:13:39,880 --> 01:13:43,720
The outer packaging is supposed to be child resistant.

1327
01:13:45,640 --> 01:13:48,680
But there's a flaw that can cause a tear

1328
01:13:49,600 --> 01:13:52,560
that's inaccessible to young children.

1329
01:13:52,560 --> 01:13:53,400
Okay.

1330
01:13:53,400 --> 01:13:58,400
They can ingest it and suffer serious contraglupus.

1331
01:13:58,400 --> 01:13:59,240
Okay.

1332
01:13:59,240 --> 01:14:01,240
Here are the affected pods

1333
01:14:01,240 --> 01:14:06,240
that are commonly sold in Missouri and most other states.

1334
01:14:09,840 --> 01:14:10,680
Okay.

1335
01:14:10,680 --> 01:14:15,680
Gain three's original type, simply pods plus oxy boost.

1336
01:14:19,240 --> 01:14:20,080
Okay.

1337
01:14:21,520 --> 01:14:26,520
Next, gain three's moonlight-free sand.

1338
01:14:26,520 --> 01:14:29,480
Three's moonlight-free sand,

1339
01:14:29,480 --> 01:14:32,680
type pods clean breeze sand.

1340
01:14:33,760 --> 01:14:34,600
Okay.

1341
01:14:34,600 --> 01:14:37,040
Pods, alpine breeze.

1342
01:14:38,960 --> 01:14:41,160
Simply dry.

1343
01:14:41,160 --> 01:14:42,800
It's like a dainty light there.

1344
01:14:42,800 --> 01:14:44,400
It's like a type of light.

1345
01:14:44,400 --> 01:14:46,400
It's on the bottom of the barrel.

1346
01:14:46,400 --> 01:14:48,000
Bottom of the barrel shit, huh?

1347
01:14:50,280 --> 01:14:54,040
If you learn that you have the effective products,

1348
01:14:54,040 --> 01:14:56,960
you can transfer them to a child resistant

1349
01:14:56,960 --> 01:14:58,960
but proctoring gamble.

1350
01:15:01,760 --> 01:15:03,200
Okay.

1351
01:15:03,200 --> 01:15:04,720
Thanks, Rob.

1352
01:15:04,720 --> 01:15:06,680
Very much appreciated.

1353
01:15:06,680 --> 01:15:07,800
So, all right.

1354
01:15:07,800 --> 01:15:10,160
Well, I had no idea there's so many type.

1355
01:15:10,160 --> 01:15:13,560
New type pods were gonna be a problem for a while now.

1356
01:15:13,560 --> 01:15:14,400
Well, yeah.

1357
01:15:14,400 --> 01:15:18,360
Ever since the TikTok thing made kids want to go eat them.

1358
01:15:18,360 --> 01:15:21,720
Now it sounds like just the seal is bad on them.

1359
01:15:21,720 --> 01:15:22,560
Yeah, yeah.

1360
01:15:22,560 --> 01:15:23,920
This is completely different.

1361
01:15:23,920 --> 01:15:25,680
Maybe they got the kids to quit eatin' them

1362
01:15:25,680 --> 01:15:27,680
but still the seal in this one is a...

1363
01:15:27,680 --> 01:15:30,880
Now you got the young kids that's gonna wake them up.

1364
01:15:30,880 --> 01:15:31,720
Yep.

1365
01:15:33,440 --> 01:15:34,840
Yep.

1366
01:15:34,840 --> 01:15:36,360
All right, well thank you, Rob.

1367
01:15:36,360 --> 01:15:40,320
All right, well we're well into the next hour.

1368
01:15:40,320 --> 01:15:42,640
So, you wanna go ahead and wrap this bitch up

1369
01:15:42,640 --> 01:15:43,640
and put a bow on it?

1370
01:15:44,640 --> 01:15:46,320
Yeah, let's put a bow on it, buddy.

1371
01:15:46,320 --> 01:15:47,480
All righty.

1372
01:15:47,480 --> 01:15:48,560
Have a good night, assholes.

1373
01:15:48,560 --> 01:15:49,640
Thanks for listening.

1374
01:15:51,560 --> 01:15:53,120
Good night, grandma.

1375
01:15:53,120 --> 01:15:53,960
Good night, Jimmy.

1376
01:15:53,960 --> 01:15:54,800
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1377
01:15:54,800 --> 01:15:56,480
Grandma Opal and Jimmy.

1378
01:15:56,480 --> 01:15:57,680
Love you guys.

1379
01:15:57,680 --> 01:15:59,200
Dodge City, rah rah rah.

1380
01:15:59,200 --> 01:16:00,040
Thank you, Rob.

1381
01:16:00,040 --> 01:16:00,880
You saved us.

1382
01:16:00,880 --> 01:16:02,520
Yeah, we did not forget.

1383
01:16:02,520 --> 01:16:04,480
We did, we cannot forget them.

1384
01:16:04,480 --> 01:16:07,280
Nope, they're the best and thank you for emailing me

1385
01:16:07,280 --> 01:16:09,080
and letting me know you guys are okay.

1386
01:16:09,080 --> 01:16:10,120
We're starting to worry.

1387
01:16:10,120 --> 01:16:12,760
Yes, thank you for letting us know everything's fine.

1388
01:16:12,760 --> 01:16:15,240
Jimmy, you gotta have something you wanna ask

1389
01:16:15,240 --> 01:16:16,680
or something you wanna say, man.

1390
01:16:16,680 --> 01:16:18,320
Send me anything, whatever.

1391
01:16:18,320 --> 01:16:20,160
Or if you wanna call in.

1392
01:16:20,160 --> 01:16:22,440
If you wanna call in, I can do three-way calling.

1393
01:16:22,440 --> 01:16:23,680
I'll figure it out.

1394
01:16:23,680 --> 01:16:25,640
But anyhow, we'd love to hear from you, Jimmy.

1395
01:16:25,640 --> 01:16:28,960
Even Grandma Opal, she wants to get on, that's fine.

1396
01:16:28,960 --> 01:16:32,040
Oh, yeah, I'd love to have grandma on this.

1397
01:16:32,040 --> 01:16:32,880
Yeah.

1398
01:16:32,880 --> 01:16:35,240
Yeah, yeah, so please, yeah.

1399
01:16:35,240 --> 01:16:37,400
At least send me an email.

1400
01:16:37,400 --> 01:16:39,920
I mean, you just tell me about yourself or whatever.

1401
01:16:39,920 --> 01:16:41,000
We don't care.

1402
01:16:41,000 --> 01:16:42,080
We love you guys.

1403
01:16:43,040 --> 01:16:43,880
Yeah.

1404
01:16:43,880 --> 01:16:45,720
And we love Dodge City, Kansas.

1405
01:16:45,720 --> 01:16:47,760
That's Matt Dillon's home.

1406
01:16:47,760 --> 01:16:51,000
That's all you need to know about Dodge City, right?

1407
01:16:51,000 --> 01:16:53,120
Yep.

1408
01:16:53,120 --> 01:16:54,320
All right.

1409
01:16:54,320 --> 01:16:56,040
Everybody, have a good night.

1410
01:16:56,040 --> 01:16:56,880
Love you guys.

1411
01:16:58,600 --> 01:16:59,920
Good night, assholes.

1412
01:17:01,960 --> 01:17:05,000
Oh no, looks like the show's over, kids.

1413
01:17:05,000 --> 01:17:09,440
Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic.

1414
01:17:09,440 --> 01:17:10,800
Fear not, assholes.

1415
01:17:10,800 --> 01:17:21,800
They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.