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And now it's time for the Daily Dishbag Lunch.

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Two deuce bags and a microphone pledge, I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to download

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every show.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to grab family members phones and download the

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show from there.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to go to public computers and download the show

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from there.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to laugh at all the unfunny jokes.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to lie to all my friends and tell them how good

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the show is.

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And finally, I, Joe, or Jane listener, promise to visit Montrose, Missouri to take advantage

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of the power plant, campgrounds, and junkyard all within its quarter mile radius.

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Here at Two Deuce Bags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind our journalistic integrity.

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Go ahead and assume we got the story wrong.

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At least we admit it.

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Not like all those other guys, we can and will lie if it makes the story better.

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The apocalypse just happened.

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You don't know what to do.

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You don't know where to go.

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But we can tell you what you can eat.

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Hi all, this is Mark here.

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I'm usually the one telling you what to eat during an apocalypse.

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Well, this time I decided to go the other way.

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You ever consider just going to Ground Zero and saying fuck it?

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Do you really want to be the guy running around looking for radioactive deer, guessing whether

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water is not contaminated or not?

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No food, no shelter, no nothing.

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Oh no, there's a strong argument that says, you know what, let's just go to Ground Zero

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and see what's for us after.

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Just a thought.

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Hi all, this is Chicago.

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I am the most dangerous city in North America.

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You can't touch me.

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Oh yeah?

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This is Kansas City here.

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Hold my beard, bitch.

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Now, from the makers of the Who Met My Asshole board game comes the Rob Rad Jigsaw Fuzzle.

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That's right, put Rob back together.

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This brilliant glossy photo of Rob wearing a loin cloth in a rain forest is the perfect

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stocking stuffer.

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Order now and get a free butt plug keychain.

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Two douchebags and a microphone.

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We Talk.

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Kansas City.

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Have you ever wondered where something came from?

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Have you ever looked at something and said, hey, I wonder what the origin of that is?

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Well, so have we.

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That's why we give you The Origin of.

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How about origin of cruise ships?

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The first cruise ship built solely for the purpose of leisure was produced by Albert

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Ballin of the German Hamburg American Line Company.

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Ballin spearheaded the development of shipping companies cruise offerings, culminating in

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the construction of the cruise ship, Prentissin Victoria Louisa.

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Oh, Lord, that man just saw a puppy and hey, don't worry.

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I have a clown nose.

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Oh, no, that drunk guy just hit my child.

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It's okay.

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I have a clown nose.

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Clown nose.

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Just put one on and you can do anything.

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When a runaway car drives by, you can do anything.

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When a runaway car drives by, you can do anything.

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When a runaway car drives by, you can do anything.

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When a runaway car drives by, you can do anything.

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Clown noses are sold at gag stores online and pedophile conventions.

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Grab one today and make magic happen.

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Hello, everybody.

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This is Two Douchebags and Microphone.

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I'm Mark.

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And I am Rob.

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Hey, everybody.

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Thanks for joining us tonight.

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I had a bunch of stuff happen today.

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I had to take the day off work because I had to go out and get a rental because I said,

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I think on the last podcast, part of the rear end of my Jeep went out.

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So anyhow, I'm waiting for the bumper to bumper to approve it.

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They got to have someone go down there and take a look at it.

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So anyhow, I couldn't really get a rental car until this afternoon.

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So I went in and took the day off.

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But obviously I needed it because I feel great.

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You know, I didn't go to work.

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And I'll be back there tomorrow doing what I normally do, working and trying to be happy.

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So anyhow, and I always am happy.

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Don't get me wrong.

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It's a great job.

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I got a great life.

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I have nothing to be unhappy about.

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I know you do.

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I know it is.

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I'm happy for you, man.

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Well, thank you.

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And Rob, I think you're slowly getting yourself in that place where you need to be.

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I am.

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It's been challenging for you, I know.

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But I've been listening to you and talking to you and hearing you.

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And I feel that this podcast has some sort of effect on you to where you have a therapeutic

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experience by getting to vent and talk and having people listen to it and enjoy it.

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You know, it's therapeutic to you, isn't it?

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Yeah, I get to talk to people.

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I mean, you have your choice.

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You can listen or not.

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I mean, I am for you.

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In real life, people I know, including my own kids, do not listen to me.

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You know, I have things that could help them through life, you know.

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Rob, I can put it like this.

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Remember back in our heyday?

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Oh, God, yeah.

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Did you listen to anybody?

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No, no, no.

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We knew everything because we were teenagers.

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We knew everything.

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And, ah, fuck that.

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I'll get to it later.

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I'll get to it later.

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I'll get to it later.

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All that stuff my dad told me.

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I'll get to it later.

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I wish I would have got to it then because I'll tell you what, I mean, I'm doing all

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right.

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But man, how good I could have been if I would have just shut my mouth and listened to my

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dad.

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Oh, tell me about it.

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No, I knew everything.

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So why would I listen to him?

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Yeah.

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Anyhow, you know, I'm...

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I know, it had to be a union job, you know.

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Well, I was...

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I was...

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I was working by the hour.

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I did listen to my dad on that part because, like I said, I went to...

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I tried.

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I, I wish, I wish you and I wouldn't have lost touch because I could have got you in.

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It was really easy to get in.

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They were looking for people everywhere in the 90s and they just couldn't get any help.

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I mean, they were...

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I would have done it.

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I would have done it.

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They're probably at the wrong union is what I would say.

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There was so much work and the type of work that I did back then that they were just there

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trying to get people...

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No, my problem was I was never union.

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Yeah, I know.

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You could have got in it though is what I was saying.

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But that's neither here nor there.

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You know, and...

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Anyhow, you know, broadcast school and all that stuff and, you know, it was...

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And my dad, they had a lot to do with that.

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You know, I talked to him about it.

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He's like, you know, he said, I understand.

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He was very, you know, he listened to me.

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And he knows that your dreams are your dreams and he didn't try to take a shit on it, you

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know.

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He was like, look, I know that you would love for this broadcasting thing to work out, but

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you know what?

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The things that I know about it and things that you know about it is your chances of

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actually doing anything in a very minimal...

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And you're going to have to work basically for free for probably seven years.

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You can go into the school right now and make 20 something an hour and have full insurance

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and dental and life and everything.

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And get, you know, and learn a trade that's going to do you well for life.

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And he was right.

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I don't think I made the wrong move, you know.

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So anyhow, you know, I was glad I was...

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I had enough smarts, I guess, enough brain to listen to him on that.

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I didn't listen to him on a lot of stuff.

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And let me tell you, I should have.

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But that one he got through on and I'm forever in his debt.

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And in the great beyond in heaven, I would like to thank that my dad is right now smiling

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one.

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Yeah.

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Glad you learned.

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I'm glad you finally learned your little knucklehead.

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So anyhow, I know he doesn't cost him.

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My dad's looking down on me saying the same thing.

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And honestly, as much as I've been hearing the scorpions lately, you think my brother,

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right?

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I hear the scorpions, dude, your brother's trying to tell me something.

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I hear it.

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I've heard that song four times today.

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You are...

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And I've listened to my music like maybe four or six hours.

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You know...

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Like what the hell?

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He's trying to talk to me.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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I would have no doubt about that at all.

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And I think I know what it has to do with.

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And he's right.

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Yeah.

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You know what?

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And I'm working on it.

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If you could say anything, you could learn from his experiences, couldn't you?

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Oh my God, yes.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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So right there, that will tell you something right there.

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He would have a lot to say about your experiences and would probably give you a lot of really

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good advice according to his experiences and where everything went wrong.

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So...

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Yeah, seeing how the last time him and I seen each other, we were experiencing the same

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thing.

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I know.

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And I had no idea.

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Wow.

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Yeah.

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It was bad.

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Yeah.

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Well, you know what?

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We both worked out of it.

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Yeah.

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You know what?

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We are where we are.

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And that's it.

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You're not going to change that until you change it.

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You know what I mean?

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If that makes sense?

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Yep.

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Yeah.

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And you've got to be the one to change it.

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Exactly.

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That's what I'm saying.

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So...

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Okay, hey, why don't we start off with Aaron Rodgers?

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You know that Aaron Rodgers ended up at the very bottom of the NFL performance-based pace

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system?

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The star quarterback whose debut season with the New York Jets ended just minutes after

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it started thanks to an injury.

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He raked in $81.14 for his performance on all games.

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According to a report from ESPN's Adam Schaeffer, he raked dead-lasted earnings from the league

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system.

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As Schaeffer phrased it on X, formerly Twitter, the pace system rewards all NFL players based

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on their playtime and base salary.

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If a player has a low base salary but plays a significant number of snaps, he earns more

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through the system, the reporter explained.

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So because Aaron Rodgers played very little, like two snaps, I think, he got $81.14 from

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his performance.

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Now, mind you, those are normally in the millions, right?

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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He got to take it out in the first quarter, right?

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Yeah, I think he was on his third or fourth snap.

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Yeah.

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So...

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That dropped your pick a lot right there, dude.

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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Hey, you want some Wynonna Judd...

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Ugh.

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Wynonna Judd news about her daughter?

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Yeah, yeah.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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Wynonna Judd's daughter, Grace Kelly, was arrested and charged with indecent exposure.

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Kelly 27 was booked into the Elmore County Jail in Alabama on Friday, April 5th at 5

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p.m.

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Fox News Digital confirmed.

258
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:29,800
In addition to the indecent exposure charge, Kelly was also booked on obstructing governmental

259
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:33,520
operations charges by Millbrook Police Department.

260
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:34,520
Yeah.

261
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,560
A bond was set at $1,000.

262
00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:38,520
Well, that's not much.

263
00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:41,520
Kelly is due in court April 11th.

264
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:42,520
$1,000?

265
00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:46,000
I mean, this thing kind of made it like somewhat of a big deal.

266
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,680
A $1,000 bond is not a big deal.

267
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:52,320
So would she have to come up with $100 or something like that?

268
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:53,320
Or maybe even 10?

269
00:12:53,320 --> 00:13:00,720
So, according to AI.com, charging documents allege Kelly exposed her breasts and lower

270
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:06,560
body at a busy intersection of Interstate 65 and Highway 14.

271
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:11,320
When officers tried to arrest her, she would not identify herself and sat on the roadside,

272
00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:14,960
refusing to comply with police outlet reported.

273
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,840
Representatives for Judge did not immediately judge.

274
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:18,840
Judd.

275
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,520
I can't ever say Judd without saying Judge.

276
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:22,520
So anyhow.

277
00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:23,520
She ain't saying Judd.

278
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:26,520
Well, you know, maybe her mom, I could say that, but on her.

279
00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:27,520
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

280
00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:32,520
If that's your mom, that's what you're saying.

281
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:33,520
Yeah.

282
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:34,520
Go ahead.

283
00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:35,520
Yeah.

284
00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:36,680
Let me put it like this.

285
00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:42,200
Her daughter's striped outfit, as in a jail outfit, does not do her justice.

286
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:44,320
So I can't really tell.

287
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:49,720
So anyhow, representatives by Judge did not immediately respond to Fox News.

288
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:51,720
Did you request for comment?

289
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:58,680
Judd had two children with ex-husband Arch Kelly, the third, Elia and Grace.

290
00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:07,080
So I don't know a whole lot about her daughter, but that sounds like drugs or mental illness

291
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,880
or quite possibly both.

292
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:13,440
Wouldn't you say?

293
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:17,080
I read that story.

294
00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:18,080
What did you get from it?

295
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:23,920
The story's similar to it, but it led into, yes, there was drugs.

296
00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:29,280
She has a history of being in trouble.

297
00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:30,280
So yeah.

298
00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:31,280
You know what?

299
00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,240
It's been a while, but I think you're right.

300
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,120
I think I do remember that.

301
00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:40,680
It was quite a while ago, but she was in some trouble back then, maybe like 15 years ago

302
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:41,680
or something like that.

303
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:42,680
Yeah.

304
00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:43,680
I don't have a full-up in front of me.

305
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:46,680
I'm my first one full-up in front of me.

306
00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:57,240
Yeah, she's been in trouble because I read that same thing just a couple days ago.

307
00:14:57,240 --> 00:15:00,520
I just kicked it out.

308
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:01,520
You know what?

309
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,000
I mean, it's too bad.

310
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,320
This is all I got to say.

311
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:05,320
I'm not laughing at her.

312
00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:06,320
Right, right.

313
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:07,320
No, no, no.

314
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:11,360
It's sad because she could have been the next judge.

315
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:12,360
Yes.

316
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:16,040
It's a very sad situation when things like this happen to people.

317
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:19,120
You know, I try not to look at them anymore.

318
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:25,320
I used to look at them as weak, but I don't look at them like that anymore because I think

319
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:32,320
we can all have things that we've done in our past that we're not necessarily proud

320
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:35,440
of or maybe even ashamed of.

321
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:37,480
Oh my God, yeah.

322
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:38,480
Plenty.

323
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:43,840
I'll put it like this, being very transparent and very honest here.

324
00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:47,240
My brother growing up and me growing up.

325
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:51,080
The only thing that went wrong in my brother's life was he started hanging out with the wrong

326
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,080
crowd.

327
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:56,720
I could see him hanging out with the wrong crowd being the younger one and knowing I

328
00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:58,000
didn't want to do it.

329
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:02,120
My brother was much smarter than me at everything, and I'm not joking.

330
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:03,720
He used to build rockets with my dad.

331
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:07,320
My dad was a chemist, and he used to build rockets with my dad.

332
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:08,320
Remember?

333
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:09,320
He used to build rockets at one way or another.

334
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:10,320
He was smarter.

335
00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:12,840
He was extremely intelligent.

336
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:17,960
I was over there eating dirt while he was building rockets.

337
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:23,440
My brother should have been the one that went on to do great things, but he got into the

338
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:26,840
wrong crowd, and that's what happened to him.

339
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:33,040
He started listening to the losers and thinking that, hey, do drugs, do this stuff, drink,

340
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:39,120
all this stuff, and it led to what it did.

341
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:43,880
I don't think of it like that anymore because anybody, it doesn't matter how smart or talented

342
00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:48,320
or whatever you are, you can fall into a trap like that, and it doesn't take a whole lot,

343
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:53,360
especially when you're an impressionable 13, 14, 15-year-old kid.

344
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:58,000
Quite frankly, he was the smart one.

345
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,320
I was not.

346
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,760
People even told me this around the town we lived in.

347
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:03,760
They said, you know what?

348
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:07,920
They said, Mark, we always thought that your brother was going to be the one to grow up

349
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:14,200
and do something, and we thought that you're just going to probably not do anything.

350
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,600
They were very respectful about it, and I agreed with them.

351
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,120
I didn't take offense to it.

352
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,560
They said, but you know what?

353
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:20,560
It turned out the other way.

354
00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:24,640
You did really good, and he did not.

355
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:27,080
I was like, wow.

356
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:30,520
I was like, that's exactly the way I felt about it too.

357
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:35,240
Anyhow, Rob, I turn it to you.

358
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,280
There's really nothing more to say about that.

359
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:38,280
No, no, no.

360
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:39,280
We're going to be all right.

361
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:41,600
John, we love you and the great beyond.

362
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,560
Always forever, always my brother.

363
00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:44,560
Always my brother.

364
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:45,560
Yes, brother.

365
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:46,560
You're always in my heart.

366
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:47,560
Yes, brother.

367
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:50,560
Rob, I turn to you.

368
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:52,120
Okay.

369
00:17:52,120 --> 00:18:02,160
I came across the 2024 highest concert ticket prices.

370
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,720
Oh, boy.

371
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:07,120
This is going to be good.

372
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:11,560
There's 20 of them, but I'm just going to give who they are and what the median ticket

373
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:12,560
price is.

374
00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:13,560
Okay.

375
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:14,560
Quick, easy one.

376
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:15,560
Okay.

377
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:16,560
All right.

378
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:17,560
Sounds good, Rob.

379
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:18,560
Okay.

380
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:24,880
Number 20 comes in pink.

381
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:28,520
Median ticket price, $399.57.

382
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:30,200
Wow.

383
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:40,920
How in the hell do those bebop girls get that kind of money, Rob?

384
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:46,480
Yeah, but pink is different, dude.

385
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:51,240
Dude, she swings on ropes and shit above the stage.

386
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:54,240
Oh, is she more of an adult?

387
00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:55,240
She's amazing.

388
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:56,240
Okay.

389
00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:57,240
Okay.

390
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:58,240
All right.

391
00:18:58,240 --> 00:18:59,240
Well, she did.

392
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:03,680
Yeah, she's getting her long in the tooth for that stuff.

393
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:09,640
She's like, I don't know much about that.

394
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:11,520
She's very talented.

395
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:13,200
I'm not dogging her at all.

396
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:16,600
She's very talented and deserves what she has.

397
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:20,040
A lot more than some of the other ones, so I can tell you that.

398
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:21,040
So anyhow.

399
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:25,760
To be honest, I never liked her till I watched that concert.

400
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:26,760
I respect her.

401
00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:34,520
I watched her do that and she's singing, hanging upside down, 30 foot in the air.

402
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:41,000
I'm like, oh my God, man.

403
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:51,360
From having DJ karaoke and stuff, you learn how to use your voice and your breathing while

404
00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:52,880
you're singing and stuff.

405
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:53,880
The diaphragm.

406
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:59,280
I could not imagine her hanging upside down.

407
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:04,040
That's been incredibly fit and incredibly well trained.

408
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:05,040
Yes.

409
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:08,520
Unless she was voice tracking.

410
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:09,520
That does happen a lot.

411
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:11,620
Well, yeah, it could have been.

412
00:20:11,620 --> 00:20:12,620
I don't know.

413
00:20:12,620 --> 00:20:13,620
I'd have to watch it.

414
00:20:13,620 --> 00:20:16,960
I have distinct ways of telling voice tracking now and it's very easy.

415
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,360
I'll show you when you and I get together.

416
00:20:19,360 --> 00:20:23,080
It's a real easy system that you can tell if they're voice tracking or not.

417
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,280
But anyhow, go ahead, Rob.

418
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:26,280
Okay.

419
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:27,280
Number 19.

420
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:28,280
Tadashi Trucks Band.

421
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:29,280
Okay.

422
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:30,280
Median ticket price, $409.53.

423
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:31,280
Are they country?

424
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:32,280
I don't know.

425
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:33,280
I've never heard of them.

426
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:34,280
Okay.

427
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:39,280
But it says the number events this year, 13.

428
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,280
Okay.

429
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:43,280
So they don't do that much.

430
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:55,280
Concerts a year, but they make the money.

431
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:58,280
Billboard Hot 100 hits.

432
00:20:58,280 --> 00:20:59,280
Oh.

433
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:00,280
NA.

434
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:01,280
Okay.

435
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:05,280
Total time on Billboard Hot 100 NA.

436
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:08,280
Yeah, they're not answering that.

437
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:09,280
Okay.

438
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:12,280
They answered pink, but not that one.

439
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:13,280
Okay.

440
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:14,280
Okay.

441
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:15,280
Number 18.

442
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,280
Sweet Token.

443
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:17,280
Median ticket price, $427.61.

444
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:18,280
Number of events, 11.

445
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:19,280
Wow.

446
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:20,280
To be honest, I don't know.

447
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:27,280
I know nothing about that's why I just said wow.

448
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:28,280
Yeah, yeah.

449
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:29,280
But they're worth it.

450
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:42,280
Number 17, John Batiste.

451
00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:56,280
Median ticket price, $438.58.

452
00:21:56,280 --> 00:22:00,280
Number of events, 22.

453
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:01,280
Wow.

454
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:02,280
Asian piano player.

455
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:05,280
I feel so out of touch.

456
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:06,280
Yeah.

457
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:07,280
Go ahead.

458
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:08,280
Okay.

459
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:09,280
Well, here.

460
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:14,280
Number 16 will bring you back in touch.

461
00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:17,280
Okay, good.

462
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:18,280
Santana.

463
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:19,280
Carlos.

464
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:20,280
Yeah.

465
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:26,280
Number 18, median ticket price, $444.57.

466
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,280
Rob, really disappointing.

467
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:31,280
Number of events, 16.

468
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:40,000
Really disappointing because Carlos Santana came from very, what would you call it, not

469
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,600
very much money.

470
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:47,280
I think that he of all people should recognize that you should not sell tickets at that high

471
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:48,280
of price.

472
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:51,280
He came from meager means from what I understand.

473
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:57,280
And I can't believe that he lost touch with people that much to sell his tickets for that

474
00:22:57,280 --> 00:22:58,280
high.

475
00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:02,280
And you can go on, Rob, because that's just the way I feel about it.

476
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:03,280
Okay, okay.

477
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:04,280
Number 15, Madonna.

478
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:05,280
Median ticket price, $456.17.

479
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:06,280
People like watching a piece of ribbon.

480
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:07,280
Number of events, oh, listen to this.

481
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:08,280
Number of events, 16.

482
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:09,280
Number of events, 16.

483
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:10,280
Number of events, 16.

484
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:11,280
Number of events, 16.

485
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:12,280
Number of events, 16.

486
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:13,280
Number of events, 16.

487
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:14,280
Number of events, 16.

488
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:15,280
Number of events, 16.

489
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:16,280
Number of events, 16.

490
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:17,280
Number of events, 16.

491
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:18,280
Listen to this.

492
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:23,160
Number of events, this year, 42.

493
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:26,160
Wow, that old hud could actually do 42 concerts.

494
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:27,260
That piece of leather.

495
00:23:27,260 --> 00:23:28,260
Yeah.

496
00:23:28,260 --> 00:23:29,300
Okay, all right.

497
00:23:29,300 --> 00:23:32,000
Boy, she did not age well.

498
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:33,800
Did not age well.

499
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:38,120
No she did not.

500
00:23:38,120 --> 00:23:41,080
Wow, she was rode hard, put away wet.

501
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:42,200
Yes she was.

502
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:44,300
By many a men.

503
00:23:44,300 --> 00:23:45,300
Allegedly.

504
00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:49,300
Yeah, she looks like a pile of fried shit.

505
00:23:49,300 --> 00:23:51,300
So, we move on.

506
00:23:53,300 --> 00:23:57,300
Okay, number 14, Drake.

507
00:23:57,300 --> 00:24:03,300
Median take at price, $463.73.

508
00:24:03,300 --> 00:24:06,300
Number of events, 32.

509
00:24:06,300 --> 00:24:08,300
Well, Drake, of course I know and you know,

510
00:24:08,300 --> 00:24:13,300
and that doesn't surprise me because he's been a big name for a long time in the hip hop rap industry.

511
00:24:13,300 --> 00:24:16,300
Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I get it.

512
00:24:17,300 --> 00:24:21,300
Number 13, Red Hot Chili Peppers.

513
00:24:21,300 --> 00:24:23,300
Yeah.

514
00:24:23,300 --> 00:24:28,300
Median take at price, $463.73.

515
00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:31,300
So they're not giving it away, giving it away, giving it away, are they?

516
00:24:31,300 --> 00:24:37,300
Wow. I said they're not giving it away, giving it away, giving it away, are they?

517
00:24:37,300 --> 00:24:39,300
No, they're not.

518
00:24:39,300 --> 00:24:43,300
And after that cheesy line, I shall shut up and let you talk.

519
00:24:45,300 --> 00:24:48,300
Even though I don't have a clue who this next one is.

520
00:24:48,300 --> 00:24:49,300
Okay.

521
00:24:49,300 --> 00:24:58,300
Noah Kahan, A-H-A-N, I don't know who this is,

522
00:24:58,300 --> 00:25:04,300
but his median take at price is $488.

523
00:25:04,300 --> 00:25:05,300
Wow.

524
00:25:05,300 --> 00:25:09,300
And the number of events is 40.

525
00:25:09,300 --> 00:25:12,300
He made a lot of money, didn't he? Whoever he is.

526
00:25:15,300 --> 00:25:17,300
There, he's still going.

527
00:25:17,300 --> 00:25:18,300
Okay, God bless him.

528
00:25:18,300 --> 00:25:21,300
Number 11, Bruce Springsteen.

529
00:25:21,300 --> 00:25:24,300
Okay, I expect that. That's all East Coast.

530
00:25:24,300 --> 00:25:27,300
Nobody really cares for him around here.

531
00:25:27,300 --> 00:25:30,300
Bruce Springsteen is meh to me.

532
00:25:30,300 --> 00:25:32,300
Yeah, right.

533
00:25:32,300 --> 00:25:33,300
Okay.

534
00:25:33,300 --> 00:25:41,300
His median take at price, $507.46, with 25 events.

535
00:25:41,300 --> 00:25:43,300
He's supposed to be a working man.

536
00:25:43,300 --> 00:25:46,300
He's supposed to be like one of us.

537
00:25:46,300 --> 00:25:49,300
You know, blue jeans, cap backwards,

538
00:25:49,300 --> 00:25:53,300
guy that fucking works on his muscle car on the weekends,

539
00:25:53,300 --> 00:25:58,300
spits on the sidewalk, bullshit. Bullshit.

540
00:25:58,300 --> 00:26:02,300
Everybody wants my paycheck for a kicky.

541
00:26:02,300 --> 00:26:04,300
Yeah, man, I've never been a Springsteen fan.

542
00:26:04,300 --> 00:26:05,300
One weekly paycheck.

543
00:26:05,300 --> 00:26:09,300
And that's part of it. He's such a fake to me, allegedly.

544
00:26:09,300 --> 00:26:11,300
But the other one is Billy Joel.

545
00:26:11,300 --> 00:26:14,300
I cannot figure him out for nothing either, but go ahead.

546
00:26:14,300 --> 00:26:17,300
Thanks.

547
00:26:17,300 --> 00:26:23,300
Okay, at number 10, Andrea Bocelli.

548
00:26:23,300 --> 00:26:29,300
Andrea Bocelli, yes. That guy has the best voice ever.

549
00:26:29,300 --> 00:26:35,300
Median ticket price, $519.67, 14 events.

550
00:26:35,300 --> 00:26:39,300
I would maybe pay that to see him.

551
00:26:39,300 --> 00:26:43,300
To me, that would be almost a bucket list.

552
00:26:43,300 --> 00:26:47,300
That guy has such a natural voice.

553
00:26:47,300 --> 00:26:50,300
It's really neat. You know who he is, right?

554
00:26:50,300 --> 00:26:51,300
The blind...

555
00:26:51,300 --> 00:26:52,300
Yeah.

556
00:26:52,300 --> 00:26:54,300
Yeah, okay. Anyhow, yeah.

557
00:26:54,300 --> 00:26:55,300
I kind of agree with that.

558
00:26:55,300 --> 00:26:57,300
I mean, I wish tickets weren't that high.

559
00:26:57,300 --> 00:26:59,300
But out of everybody that you said,

560
00:26:59,300 --> 00:27:01,300
if I was going to pay that kind of price,

561
00:27:01,300 --> 00:27:03,300
it would be for Andrea Bocelli.

562
00:27:03,300 --> 00:27:06,300
So anyhow, go ahead.

563
00:27:06,300 --> 00:27:07,300
It's kind of funny.

564
00:27:07,300 --> 00:27:10,300
You just mentioned this person a minute ago.

565
00:27:10,300 --> 00:27:11,300
Billy Joel?

566
00:27:11,300 --> 00:27:14,300
Number nine, we have Billy Joel.

567
00:27:14,300 --> 00:27:16,300
I go back to what I said before.

568
00:27:16,300 --> 00:27:20,300
Don't understand it.

569
00:27:20,300 --> 00:27:22,300
I don't know. I mean, he's...

570
00:27:22,300 --> 00:27:23,300
Do you think he's that good?

571
00:27:23,300 --> 00:27:26,300
He's had a lot of hits.

572
00:27:26,300 --> 00:27:31,300
He's had 42 Billboard 100s

573
00:27:31,300 --> 00:27:36,300
for total time on Billboard Hot 100,

574
00:27:36,300 --> 00:27:39,300
595 weeks, man.

575
00:27:39,300 --> 00:27:40,300
Here's what I'm saying.

576
00:27:40,300 --> 00:27:45,300
Name three of them right now, Rob.

577
00:27:45,300 --> 00:27:47,300
Oh, there's so many.

578
00:27:47,300 --> 00:27:52,300
So you remember him? You remember his hits?

579
00:27:52,300 --> 00:27:54,300
Yeah, I...

580
00:27:54,300 --> 00:27:55,300
Okay, all right.

581
00:27:55,300 --> 00:27:57,300
Okay, then it's probably just me.

582
00:27:57,300 --> 00:27:59,300
I apologize.

583
00:27:59,300 --> 00:28:01,300
I follow Billy Joel.

584
00:28:01,300 --> 00:28:03,300
I have a little bit of softer side to him.

585
00:28:03,300 --> 00:28:05,300
Okay, that's cool.

586
00:28:05,300 --> 00:28:06,300
Yeah.

587
00:28:06,300 --> 00:28:07,300
He has good songs.

588
00:28:07,300 --> 00:28:09,300
I just don't think he was that big.

589
00:28:09,300 --> 00:28:10,300
Yeah.

590
00:28:10,300 --> 00:28:11,300
Okay.

591
00:28:11,300 --> 00:28:15,300
Number eight, Garth Brooks.

592
00:28:15,300 --> 00:28:17,300
Yeah.

593
00:28:17,300 --> 00:28:23,300
Median ticket price, $545.76.

594
00:28:23,300 --> 00:28:28,300
Number of events, $36.

595
00:28:28,300 --> 00:28:31,300
I wouldn't pay that much to see him.

596
00:28:31,300 --> 00:28:34,300
To me, he's kind of a one-sided trick pony.

597
00:28:34,300 --> 00:28:36,300
But...

598
00:28:36,300 --> 00:28:40,300
Okay.

599
00:28:40,300 --> 00:28:45,300
Number seven, Morgan Wallen.

600
00:28:45,300 --> 00:28:47,300
Okay.

601
00:28:47,300 --> 00:28:51,300
Which I guess is a new country artist.

602
00:28:51,300 --> 00:28:52,300
Okay.

603
00:28:52,300 --> 00:28:58,300
Median ticket price, $619.58.

604
00:28:58,300 --> 00:29:01,300
Number of events, $26.

605
00:29:01,300 --> 00:29:03,300
I wonder if Chris Stapleton is in there somewhere.

606
00:29:03,300 --> 00:29:04,300
Anyhow, go ahead.

607
00:29:04,300 --> 00:29:09,300
Since you said country, I'll bet you he is.

608
00:29:09,300 --> 00:29:10,300
We'll find out.

609
00:29:10,300 --> 00:29:11,300
Okay.

610
00:29:11,300 --> 00:29:16,300
Actually, I think Morgan Wallen is coming to Candidate.

611
00:29:16,300 --> 00:29:18,300
Really? Someone that big?

612
00:29:18,300 --> 00:29:20,300
Well, I thought I...

613
00:29:20,300 --> 00:29:22,300
I'm gonna double check.

614
00:29:22,300 --> 00:29:23,300
Okay.

615
00:29:23,300 --> 00:29:25,300
Forget I said that.

616
00:29:25,300 --> 00:29:26,300
Okay.

617
00:29:26,300 --> 00:29:28,300
I'm gonna look into it.

618
00:29:28,300 --> 00:29:30,300
Okay, that's cool.

619
00:29:30,300 --> 00:29:35,300
Okay, number six, Bad Bunny.

620
00:29:35,300 --> 00:29:38,300
Okay.

621
00:29:38,300 --> 00:29:40,300
He's...

622
00:29:40,300 --> 00:29:41,300
What do you call him?

623
00:29:41,300 --> 00:29:42,300
Wrapped?

624
00:29:42,300 --> 00:29:43,300
Oh, okay.

625
00:29:43,300 --> 00:29:45,300
All right.

626
00:29:45,300 --> 00:29:50,300
He's known to be getting into the WWE.

627
00:29:50,300 --> 00:29:53,300
He's known in the WWE.

628
00:29:53,300 --> 00:29:58,300
Median ticket price, $661.

629
00:29:58,300 --> 00:30:00,300
Okay.

630
00:30:00,300 --> 00:30:02,300
Number of events, $47.

631
00:30:02,300 --> 00:30:03,300
Wow.

632
00:30:03,300 --> 00:30:07,300
He made a lot of money.

633
00:30:07,300 --> 00:30:11,300
No, this is what he's making this year.

634
00:30:11,300 --> 00:30:12,300
Oh, okay.

635
00:30:12,300 --> 00:30:13,300
What he's doing this year.

636
00:30:13,300 --> 00:30:15,300
Okay.

637
00:30:15,300 --> 00:30:16,300
That per ticket, brother.

638
00:30:16,300 --> 00:30:20,300
Okay, if he doesn't drug overdose, he makes a lot of money.

639
00:30:20,300 --> 00:30:25,300
All these I mentioned is per ticket issue.

640
00:30:25,300 --> 00:30:26,300
Wow.

641
00:30:26,300 --> 00:30:28,300
Okay.

642
00:30:28,300 --> 00:30:31,300
Okay, number five.

643
00:30:31,300 --> 00:30:34,300
Another one we love.

644
00:30:34,300 --> 00:30:36,300
The Eagles.

645
00:30:36,300 --> 00:30:38,300
Yeah.

646
00:30:38,300 --> 00:30:40,300
See maybe 20 podcasts ago.

647
00:30:40,300 --> 00:30:43,300
I don't love them at this price.

648
00:30:43,300 --> 00:30:46,300
Look, Iconic Band, so many people came from there.

649
00:30:46,300 --> 00:30:51,300
Don Henley, Glenn Fry, Vince Gale.

650
00:30:51,300 --> 00:30:52,300
Joe Walsh.

651
00:30:52,300 --> 00:30:53,300
Joe Walsh.

652
00:30:53,300 --> 00:30:55,300
Iconic Band, yes.

653
00:30:55,300 --> 00:30:56,300
But worth that much?

654
00:30:56,300 --> 00:30:59,300
Hell no.

655
00:30:59,300 --> 00:31:01,300
Okay, I haven't even given the price yet.

656
00:31:01,300 --> 00:31:02,300
Oh, no.

657
00:31:02,300 --> 00:31:03,300
Okay, I'm sorry.

658
00:31:03,300 --> 00:31:07,300
But I know it's going to be at least six because you're in the sixes.

659
00:31:07,300 --> 00:31:09,300
Oh, no.

660
00:31:09,300 --> 00:31:16,300
Okay, medium ticket price, $731.59.

661
00:31:16,300 --> 00:31:19,300
Fuck you, Eagles.

662
00:31:19,300 --> 00:31:21,300
That's all I got to say about that.

663
00:31:21,300 --> 00:31:23,300
Fuck you.

664
00:31:23,300 --> 00:31:28,300
I remember seeing tickets of the Eagles for 20 bucks.

665
00:31:28,300 --> 00:31:30,300
Yeah, me too.

666
00:31:30,300 --> 00:31:31,300
People waiting down at 7th Heaven.

667
00:31:31,300 --> 00:31:33,300
Back in the 70s and 80s.

668
00:31:33,300 --> 00:31:36,300
People waiting at 7th Heaven at the back door, line going around.

669
00:31:36,300 --> 00:31:37,300
Yeah.

670
00:31:37,300 --> 00:31:40,300
They were going around the side, I forgot the numbered street that's there.

671
00:31:40,300 --> 00:31:45,300
And people in those houses actually coming out and giving us soda pops.

672
00:31:45,300 --> 00:31:46,300
Oh, hell yeah.

673
00:31:46,300 --> 00:31:47,300
Yeah.

674
00:31:47,300 --> 00:31:49,300
But it wasn't for the Eagles, though.

675
00:31:49,300 --> 00:31:51,300
I don't know who it was for, but anyhow.

676
00:31:51,300 --> 00:31:54,300
Oh, hell, it was pretty much every concert.

677
00:31:54,300 --> 00:31:55,300
Yeah, it was.

678
00:31:55,300 --> 00:31:58,300
The people in that first house there were really cool.

679
00:31:58,300 --> 00:31:59,300
They brought out drinks.

680
00:31:59,300 --> 00:32:00,300
They were?

681
00:32:00,300 --> 00:32:01,300
Yeah, they were excellent.

682
00:32:01,300 --> 00:32:02,300
Anyhow.

683
00:32:02,300 --> 00:32:07,300
Okay, number four, somebody else I've never heard of.

684
00:32:07,300 --> 00:32:11,300
Olivia Rodrigo.

685
00:32:11,300 --> 00:32:15,300
Okay, I would say that's pop.

686
00:32:15,300 --> 00:32:21,300
Yeah, I'm guessing it's like maybe Latino pop.

687
00:32:21,300 --> 00:32:22,300
I don't know.

688
00:32:22,300 --> 00:32:23,300
Yeah, probably.

689
00:32:23,300 --> 00:32:24,300
Probably.

690
00:32:24,300 --> 00:32:25,300
I don't know.

691
00:32:25,300 --> 00:32:26,300
I don't have a clue.

692
00:32:26,300 --> 00:32:27,300
Yeah, okay.

693
00:32:27,300 --> 00:32:32,300
But her ticket prices, I definitely ain't gonna go see her.

694
00:32:32,300 --> 00:32:36,300
$734.17.

695
00:32:36,300 --> 00:32:38,300
Wow.

696
00:32:38,300 --> 00:32:41,300
Okay.

697
00:32:41,300 --> 00:32:44,300
Oh, now we're getting big.

698
00:32:44,300 --> 00:32:46,300
We weren't big already?

699
00:32:46,300 --> 00:32:47,300
Oh, no.

700
00:32:47,300 --> 00:32:50,300
Yeah, we were.

701
00:32:50,300 --> 00:32:52,300
$734 there.

702
00:32:52,300 --> 00:32:56,300
Number three, YouTube.

703
00:32:56,300 --> 00:32:59,300
Mm-hmm.

704
00:32:59,300 --> 00:33:07,300
Median ticket price, $1,182.16.

705
00:33:07,300 --> 00:33:10,300
Bono cares about everybody, Rob.

706
00:33:10,300 --> 00:33:13,300
Why would he do that?

707
00:33:13,300 --> 00:33:17,300
I'm brokenhearted, Bono.

708
00:33:17,300 --> 00:33:20,300
Dude, that's like two of my pay.

709
00:33:20,300 --> 00:33:22,300
That's half a month's pay for me.

710
00:33:22,300 --> 00:33:28,300
Bunch of fucking frauds, in my opinion.

711
00:33:28,300 --> 00:33:30,300
YouTube's another one I'll never go see.

712
00:33:30,300 --> 00:33:34,300
And then he's up there, they're flying their private jets to each fucking concert.

713
00:33:34,300 --> 00:33:37,300
Then they're telling us how bad we are.

714
00:33:37,300 --> 00:33:39,300
Fuck them.

715
00:33:39,300 --> 00:33:40,300
Yeah, I just wait.

716
00:33:40,300 --> 00:33:42,300
Okay.

717
00:33:42,300 --> 00:33:46,300
Okay, number two, Adele.

718
00:33:46,300 --> 00:33:49,300
That doesn't surprise me.

719
00:33:49,300 --> 00:33:55,300
Okay, we're out of my monthly wage here.

720
00:33:55,300 --> 00:33:58,300
Well, now it's right at.

721
00:33:58,300 --> 00:34:05,300
Median ticket price, $2,079.36.

722
00:34:05,300 --> 00:34:07,300
Fuck.

723
00:34:07,300 --> 00:34:09,300
She's not that good to me.

724
00:34:09,300 --> 00:34:10,300
No.

725
00:34:10,300 --> 00:34:11,300
Nope.

726
00:34:11,300 --> 00:34:16,300
She has talent, but no.

727
00:34:16,300 --> 00:34:18,300
Okay, Mark, I have a question for you.

728
00:34:18,300 --> 00:34:20,300
Okay.

729
00:34:20,300 --> 00:34:25,300
Who do you think is the number one on this list?

730
00:34:25,300 --> 00:34:26,300
Let me think here.

731
00:34:26,300 --> 00:34:30,300
There's someone obvious that I'm not thinking of.

732
00:34:30,300 --> 00:34:34,300
Highest dollar ticket.

733
00:34:34,300 --> 00:34:38,300
Highest dollar ticket.

734
00:34:38,300 --> 00:34:39,300
You know what?

735
00:34:39,300 --> 00:34:40,300
I don't know.

736
00:34:40,300 --> 00:34:42,300
I can't think.

737
00:34:42,300 --> 00:34:43,300
I don't know.

738
00:34:43,300 --> 00:34:44,300
It's just not coming up.

739
00:34:44,300 --> 00:34:46,300
Okay, I'll tell you, but you're going to snap yourself.

740
00:34:46,300 --> 00:34:50,300
I mean, for me to think of it, it would be a really boring show because it'd take me 10 minutes.

741
00:34:50,300 --> 00:34:51,300
I might come up with it anyhow.

742
00:34:51,300 --> 00:34:52,300
Go ahead.

743
00:34:52,300 --> 00:34:54,300
Yeah, well, you're going to smack yourself.

744
00:34:54,300 --> 00:34:56,300
Okay.

745
00:34:56,300 --> 00:34:57,300
Taylor Swift.

746
00:34:57,300 --> 00:34:59,300
Oh, shit.

747
00:34:59,300 --> 00:35:00,300
See, I said it was somebody obvious.

748
00:35:00,300 --> 00:35:03,300
I just couldn't think of it.

749
00:35:03,300 --> 00:35:05,300
Speaking of someone lecturing.

750
00:35:05,300 --> 00:35:07,300
Speaking of someone lecturing.

751
00:35:07,300 --> 00:35:08,300
Yeah.

752
00:35:08,300 --> 00:35:13,300
Now, you want to know how much she loves her chiefs fans?

753
00:35:13,300 --> 00:35:17,300
Yeah, yeah, how much does she love us cheese fans?

754
00:35:17,300 --> 00:35:21,300
Medium ticket price.

755
00:35:21,300 --> 00:35:26,300
$3,525.42.

756
00:35:26,300 --> 00:35:32,300
Until I see half of that money go towards the environmental cleanup, I don't want to hear a fucking word from her.

757
00:35:32,300 --> 00:35:37,300
Stat.

758
00:35:37,300 --> 00:35:39,300
That speaks for itself, everybody.

759
00:35:39,300 --> 00:35:42,300
I don't have to say any more than that.

760
00:35:42,300 --> 00:35:43,300
Right.

761
00:35:43,300 --> 00:35:47,300
We've done a report about her planes.

762
00:35:47,300 --> 00:35:48,300
Yes.

763
00:35:48,300 --> 00:35:51,300
And how much they're polluting the air.

764
00:35:51,300 --> 00:35:53,300
There's been a guy getting in trouble.

765
00:35:53,300 --> 00:35:59,300
She's suing the guy to try to get him to stop.

766
00:35:59,300 --> 00:36:05,300
So, you know, let me just to let you just to so anyhow, allegedly all of this.

767
00:36:05,300 --> 00:36:08,300
So, yeah, yeah, let's stop there.

768
00:36:08,300 --> 00:36:10,300
Yeah, that's all I had on that one.

769
00:36:10,300 --> 00:36:12,300
All right, we're going to take our first break.

770
00:36:12,300 --> 00:36:13,300
I got some emails.

771
00:36:13,300 --> 00:36:15,300
You want to go into some emails?

772
00:36:15,300 --> 00:36:16,300
Sounds great.

773
00:36:16,300 --> 00:36:17,300
All right, cool.

774
00:36:17,300 --> 00:36:18,300
We got some good ones.

775
00:36:18,300 --> 00:36:19,300
I'll be right back in Montrose.

776
00:36:19,300 --> 00:36:22,300
Montrose answered again, Rob.

777
00:36:22,300 --> 00:36:23,300
I'm scared.

778
00:36:23,300 --> 00:36:26,300
Well, yeah, I took a little read of it.

779
00:36:26,300 --> 00:36:28,300
Yeah, they're asking for more stuff, Rob.

780
00:36:28,300 --> 00:36:30,300
They're asking for more stuff.

781
00:36:30,300 --> 00:36:32,300
I got my notebook ready.

782
00:36:32,300 --> 00:36:33,300
Get it ready.

783
00:36:33,300 --> 00:36:35,300
All right, we'll be right back in a couple of minutes.

784
00:36:35,300 --> 00:36:36,300
Oh, shit.

785
00:36:36,300 --> 00:36:38,300
What's that over there?

786
00:36:38,300 --> 00:36:42,300
Oh, no, it's island of horrible jokes.

787
00:36:42,300 --> 00:36:43,300
Ugh.

788
00:36:43,300 --> 00:36:53,300
A ship telling red paint and a ship telling blue paint collide.

789
00:36:53,300 --> 00:36:55,300
They were all moored.

790
00:36:55,300 --> 00:36:59,300
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

791
00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:08,300
All aware of the Amber Alert, right?

792
00:37:08,300 --> 00:37:11,300
Well, get rid of your disinfectants and rubber bedspreads, kids.

793
00:37:11,300 --> 00:37:14,300
It's the all new Amber Heard Alert system.

794
00:37:14,300 --> 00:37:17,300
This fantastic early warning device helps one stay dry

795
00:37:17,300 --> 00:37:20,300
and rid of all those annoying mattress invoices.

796
00:37:20,300 --> 00:37:23,300
Simply hook up to child under six or psychopath

797
00:37:23,300 --> 00:37:25,300
and wait for the running water sound.

798
00:37:25,300 --> 00:37:27,300
This clever machine has three distinct settings.

799
00:37:27,300 --> 00:37:31,300
It's a water bath, ocean waves, and roaring river for those close calls.

800
00:37:31,300 --> 00:37:42,300
Order today and get a free Cinnabon Renews It Cartridge.

801
00:37:42,300 --> 00:37:48,300
Babes, your mother called you during every orgasm.

802
00:37:48,300 --> 00:37:52,300
Ha ha ha ha ha.

803
00:37:52,300 --> 00:37:53,300
Oh, shit.

804
00:37:53,300 --> 00:37:55,300
What's that over there?

805
00:37:55,300 --> 00:37:56,300
Oh, no.

806
00:37:56,300 --> 00:37:57,300
I'm in horrible jokes.

807
00:37:57,300 --> 00:38:02,300
Ugh.

808
00:38:02,300 --> 00:38:08,300
What do you call a bundle of hay in church?

809
00:38:08,300 --> 00:38:10,300
Christian Bale.

810
00:38:10,300 --> 00:38:18,300
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

811
00:38:18,300 --> 00:38:22,300
Next up, things over heard in hell.

812
00:38:22,300 --> 00:38:24,300
Oh, wow, look.

813
00:38:24,300 --> 00:38:27,300
The Wayne Newton Channel is the highest rated network.

814
00:38:27,300 --> 00:38:31,300
Tomorrow morning while grinding your coffee beans for your double mocha latte,

815
00:38:31,300 --> 00:38:35,300
remember to not get your genitals caught in the grinder.

816
00:38:35,300 --> 00:38:36,300
It really hurts.

817
00:38:36,300 --> 00:38:39,300
Who can afford plastic surgery?

818
00:38:39,300 --> 00:38:42,300
Stay safe, everyone.

819
00:38:42,300 --> 00:38:43,300
Hey, look.

820
00:38:43,300 --> 00:38:44,300
I think we found land.

821
00:38:44,300 --> 00:38:45,300
Oh, my God.

822
00:38:45,300 --> 00:38:47,300
I think we're safe.

823
00:38:47,300 --> 00:38:48,300
Oh, no.

824
00:38:48,300 --> 00:38:50,300
It's the island of horrible jokes.

825
00:38:50,300 --> 00:38:55,300
Oh, my God.

826
00:38:55,300 --> 00:38:58,300
I'm afraid for the calendar.

827
00:38:58,300 --> 00:39:01,300
Its days are numbered.

828
00:39:01,300 --> 00:39:04,300
Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark.

829
00:39:04,300 --> 00:39:11,300
I should have never taught that damn dog how to read.

830
00:39:11,300 --> 00:39:14,300
The apocalypse just happened.

831
00:39:14,300 --> 00:39:16,300
You don't know what to do.

832
00:39:16,300 --> 00:39:18,300
You don't know where to go.

833
00:39:18,300 --> 00:39:22,300
I can tell you what you can eat.

834
00:39:22,300 --> 00:39:24,300
OK, it's post-apocalypse,

835
00:39:24,300 --> 00:39:28,300
and you're walking down the barren wasteland that used to be a city.

836
00:39:28,300 --> 00:39:32,300
You find an old can of beans lying in the middle of the road,

837
00:39:32,300 --> 00:39:34,300
but you do not have a can opener.

838
00:39:34,300 --> 00:39:38,300
What you do then is you find a patch of concrete,

839
00:39:38,300 --> 00:39:42,300
you rub the top of the can for five minutes,

840
00:39:42,300 --> 00:40:02,300
then you go to the middle of the can and squeeze it, and it should pop right open.

841
00:40:02,300 --> 00:40:08,300
It tells you what kind of life I got because we're doing this on a Friday night.

842
00:40:08,300 --> 00:40:12,300
I never even thought about that.

843
00:40:12,300 --> 00:40:14,300
Dude, I have no life.

844
00:40:14,300 --> 00:40:16,300
I work and I come home.

845
00:40:16,300 --> 00:40:17,300
That's all I do, man.

846
00:40:17,300 --> 00:40:19,300
My excuse is I'm married.

847
00:40:19,300 --> 00:40:20,300
I can't go do anything.

848
00:40:20,300 --> 00:40:21,300
No, I could.

849
00:40:21,300 --> 00:40:22,300
Yeah, well, I'm single.

850
00:40:22,300 --> 00:40:23,300
I can't get out.

851
00:40:23,300 --> 00:40:28,300
I just don't, which is honestly probably best for me right now.

852
00:40:28,300 --> 00:40:29,300
You know what?

853
00:40:29,300 --> 00:40:30,300
And best for me too.

854
00:40:30,300 --> 00:40:32,300
And best for me too.

855
00:40:32,300 --> 00:40:34,300
Oh, I know what it is.

856
00:40:34,300 --> 00:40:35,300
You know what?

857
00:40:35,300 --> 00:40:37,300
It's like Marty Schottenheimer, I believe, used to say,

858
00:40:37,300 --> 00:40:40,300
everything good happens after 2 a.m.

859
00:40:40,300 --> 00:40:43,300
So, all right.

860
00:40:43,300 --> 00:40:45,300
We got some emails here.

861
00:40:45,300 --> 00:40:47,300
Hey, guys.

862
00:40:47,300 --> 00:40:50,300
I just thought I'd let you know how funny your new bit is.

863
00:40:50,300 --> 00:40:52,300
It's the coffee grinder bit.

864
00:40:52,300 --> 00:40:54,300
I can't stop laughing at that.

865
00:40:54,300 --> 00:40:55,300
I love the show.

866
00:40:55,300 --> 00:40:59,300
Annette from Phoenix, Arizona.

867
00:40:59,300 --> 00:41:00,300
Thank you, Annette.

868
00:41:00,300 --> 00:41:02,300
You know what?

869
00:41:02,300 --> 00:41:03,300
I'm going to reveal where that came from.

870
00:41:03,300 --> 00:41:04,300
Another woman.

871
00:41:04,300 --> 00:41:05,300
Another woman.

872
00:41:05,300 --> 00:41:06,300
Yeah, I know.

873
00:41:06,300 --> 00:41:08,300
I know a lot of women like this type of humor.

874
00:41:08,300 --> 00:41:09,300
I beg to differ.

875
00:41:09,300 --> 00:41:12,300
I think there's a lot of women like this type of humor.

876
00:41:12,300 --> 00:41:13,300
Yeah.

877
00:41:13,300 --> 00:41:15,300
Okay, I'm going to reveal...

878
00:41:15,300 --> 00:41:16,300
Thank you, Annette.

879
00:41:16,300 --> 00:41:17,300
Yeah, thank you, Annette.

880
00:41:17,300 --> 00:41:20,300
I'm going to reveal the origin of it real quick, Rob.

881
00:41:20,300 --> 00:41:23,300
This came from, that coffee grinder bit came from somewhere,

882
00:41:23,300 --> 00:41:25,300
one of my experiences.

883
00:41:25,300 --> 00:41:27,300
And no, I didn't get my dick caught in a coffee grinder.

884
00:41:27,300 --> 00:41:28,300
Okay.

885
00:41:28,300 --> 00:41:34,300
But anyhow, I mentioned before that, you know, I went to trade school.

886
00:41:34,300 --> 00:41:39,300
The old instructor of the metal cutting department was a guy named Gary.

887
00:41:39,300 --> 00:41:42,300
Gary, he looked like an old farmhand.

888
00:41:42,300 --> 00:41:47,300
You know, he had like scraggly lopsided hair, like a weird cowlick or something.

889
00:41:47,300 --> 00:41:51,300
It kind of went to one side and was like all kind of curly and matted.

890
00:41:51,300 --> 00:41:55,300
He didn't care, you know, he didn't care about taking care of his appearance at all.

891
00:41:55,300 --> 00:41:56,300
You could tell, right?

892
00:41:56,300 --> 00:42:01,300
He had some weird fucking teeth going on, like one jagged, one way, one...

893
00:42:01,300 --> 00:42:05,300
But I tried not to look too much, I'm not sure exactly what it was,

894
00:42:05,300 --> 00:42:07,300
but it was something weird going on.

895
00:42:07,300 --> 00:42:10,300
So myself and other students were in his department.

896
00:42:10,300 --> 00:42:14,300
They had these large stand-up sanding jacks.

897
00:42:14,300 --> 00:42:15,300
You know what I'm talking about?

898
00:42:15,300 --> 00:42:17,300
A sanding jack.

899
00:42:17,300 --> 00:42:21,300
Yeah, it's a belt machine that stands up and it's a belt that goes around and around.

900
00:42:21,300 --> 00:42:24,300
It's about four foot tall and it's a belt that spins

901
00:42:24,300 --> 00:42:30,300
and you deburr metal parts and sharpen metal parts on it, right?

902
00:42:30,300 --> 00:42:32,300
So it's pretty dangerous.

903
00:42:32,300 --> 00:42:36,300
So I used to burn a metal part that I was getting ready to TIG weld.

904
00:42:36,300 --> 00:42:39,300
Old man Gary walked up behind me and he kept yelling,

905
00:42:39,300 --> 00:42:42,300
boy, hey boy, boy.

906
00:42:42,300 --> 00:42:45,300
I turned around and I said, who me?

907
00:42:45,300 --> 00:42:48,300
I said to him, my name's Mark, you know, you could use that

908
00:42:48,300 --> 00:42:51,300
and I would know who you're talking about.

909
00:42:51,300 --> 00:42:54,300
You know, if you said Mark, I would turn around and find out,

910
00:42:54,300 --> 00:42:57,300
but you know, saying boy, I don't know who you're talking to.

911
00:42:57,300 --> 00:42:59,300
He said, I don't do names.

912
00:42:59,300 --> 00:43:03,300
I call all you boy and you will answer to that is what he said.

913
00:43:03,300 --> 00:43:06,300
He was kind of an old dickhead because he knew he had the upper hand.

914
00:43:06,300 --> 00:43:07,300
I wouldn't answer him.

915
00:43:07,300 --> 00:43:08,300
Yeah.

916
00:43:08,300 --> 00:43:10,300
So, hey, I would.

917
00:43:10,300 --> 00:43:12,300
Oh, go ahead. What now?

918
00:43:12,300 --> 00:43:15,300
I was just saying I would not answer him.

919
00:43:15,300 --> 00:43:17,300
Fuck you.

920
00:43:17,300 --> 00:43:19,300
Well, I answered him very little, but I kind of had to

921
00:43:19,300 --> 00:43:23,300
because he's the one that like graded that class.

922
00:43:23,300 --> 00:43:25,300
Oh, yeah.

923
00:43:25,300 --> 00:43:27,300
So what'd you do?

924
00:43:27,300 --> 00:43:30,300
Someone said he was a Marine and he got kicked out.

925
00:43:30,300 --> 00:43:33,300
You know, I turned around,

926
00:43:33,300 --> 00:43:36,300
but I didn't even remember that he wanted something by this time.

927
00:43:36,300 --> 00:43:40,300
So then he calls out boy again and I turn around and he says,

928
00:43:40,300 --> 00:43:43,300
don't get your wiener caught in that.

929
00:43:43,300 --> 00:43:47,300
And I was like, I just turned around and started to be burned stuff at this point

930
00:43:47,300 --> 00:43:50,300
because I'm like, I'm going, what the fuck?

931
00:43:50,300 --> 00:43:52,300
Because at this point it wasn't even funny.

932
00:43:52,300 --> 00:43:54,300
It was like, don't get my wiener caught in that.

933
00:43:54,300 --> 00:43:57,300
A fucking horse, you know?

934
00:43:57,300 --> 00:44:01,300
So anyhow, you know, I guess Gary did that to everybody.

935
00:44:01,300 --> 00:44:07,300
Any student using the sanding jack, he would come up to the room

936
00:44:07,300 --> 00:44:12,300
and he'd make, you know, he would say that to just about anybody on the sanding jack.

937
00:44:12,300 --> 00:44:13,300
Hey, boy, boy.

938
00:44:13,300 --> 00:44:15,300
And then he'd say, don't get your wiener caught in that.

939
00:44:15,300 --> 00:44:19,300
And then, you know, I guess, I don't know if it's supposed to be funny or whatever.

940
00:44:19,300 --> 00:44:21,300
That was just him. Whatever.

941
00:44:21,300 --> 00:44:26,300
So anyhow, he would walk by through the room.

942
00:44:26,300 --> 00:44:31,300
He would pace the room constantly making odd smacking noises with his mouth.

943
00:44:31,300 --> 00:44:34,300
He always wore these old key bib overalls.

944
00:44:34,300 --> 00:44:40,300
You know, the key brand, Rob, they're made in Fort Scott, Kansas still, I think.

945
00:44:40,300 --> 00:44:43,300
And they were high quality, yeah, they were high quality bib overalls.

946
00:44:43,300 --> 00:44:45,300
They're the best you could get in the business.

947
00:44:45,300 --> 00:44:47,300
They were expensive, but they were very good.

948
00:44:47,300 --> 00:44:49,300
He wore the stripe ones, the ones that look like a conductor.

949
00:44:49,300 --> 00:44:52,300
Do you remember those? Yeah. Yeah.

950
00:44:52,300 --> 00:44:54,300
Yeah, he walked around with those stripe ones.

951
00:44:54,300 --> 00:44:56,300
You're talking about my town, Fort Scott, Kansas.

952
00:44:56,300 --> 00:44:57,300
Okay, yeah.

953
00:44:57,300 --> 00:45:01,300
Well, he wore those stripe ones that look like a conductor every day.

954
00:45:01,300 --> 00:45:03,300
I don't know if it's the same pair or not.

955
00:45:03,300 --> 00:45:06,300
Didn't care, didn't want to look at him that much.

956
00:45:06,300 --> 00:45:11,300
So I remember there was this really hot chick named Heather.

957
00:45:11,300 --> 00:45:14,300
She was a secretary.

958
00:45:14,300 --> 00:45:17,300
Her fiance was supposed to take her to lunch one day,

959
00:45:17,300 --> 00:45:19,300
but ended up breaking up with her.

960
00:45:19,300 --> 00:45:22,300
She was crying and just melting down really bad that day.

961
00:45:22,300 --> 00:45:28,300
So anyhow, let me, I'm going to tell you, the part that I got about

962
00:45:28,300 --> 00:45:31,300
don't get your generals caught in the coffee grinder,

963
00:45:31,300 --> 00:45:36,300
well, that's my version of what Gary said, old man Gary said, right?

964
00:45:36,300 --> 00:45:41,300
Okay, so now I'm going on to the story that a buddy of mine played on him, okay?

965
00:45:41,300 --> 00:45:47,300
So we all got her checked into a hospital.

966
00:45:47,300 --> 00:45:48,300
She had a mental breakdown.

967
00:45:48,300 --> 00:45:51,300
She had a nervous breakdown because her boyfriend was supposed to take her to dinner.

968
00:45:51,300 --> 00:45:54,300
And I guess in the car, he like fucking threw the ring at her and said,

969
00:45:54,300 --> 00:45:56,300
get out of here or something.

970
00:45:56,300 --> 00:45:57,300
And it freaked her out really bad.

971
00:45:57,300 --> 00:46:00,300
And she was like just hysterical.

972
00:46:00,300 --> 00:46:01,300
And she was a really nice girl.

973
00:46:01,300 --> 00:46:03,300
She was hot, but she was a really nice girl.

974
00:46:03,300 --> 00:46:04,300
And we're all freaking out.

975
00:46:04,300 --> 00:46:05,300
We didn't know what to do.

976
00:46:05,300 --> 00:46:07,300
So we called her some help.

977
00:46:07,300 --> 00:46:10,300
And the EMTs came over, talked to her.

978
00:46:10,300 --> 00:46:14,300
And they convinced her to go to this hospital for a little while.

979
00:46:14,300 --> 00:46:18,300
So she came back to work a few weeks later, doing well.

980
00:46:18,300 --> 00:46:24,300
So a couple of weeks later, a guy I worked with decided to send Gary a note from Heather.

981
00:46:24,300 --> 00:46:27,300
It said something like, can you keep a secret?

982
00:46:27,300 --> 00:46:32,300
I'm really attracted to you, but we can't do anything here or let on.

983
00:46:32,300 --> 00:46:33,300
It has to be a secret.

984
00:46:33,300 --> 00:46:34,300
I can't get fired.

985
00:46:34,300 --> 00:46:37,300
I need my job.

986
00:46:37,300 --> 00:46:40,300
Josh, this guy, is responsible for this trickery.

987
00:46:40,300 --> 00:46:47,300
He actually stole Heather's stationery to send the said love notes.

988
00:46:47,300 --> 00:46:53,300
He saw Gary's address on his letter with his check in it when he was off for minor surgery,

989
00:46:53,300 --> 00:46:55,300
for a bunion or something.

990
00:46:55,300 --> 00:47:01,300
So he took and he jotted down Gary's address that they were going to send his check to when he was off.

991
00:47:01,300 --> 00:47:06,300
So that's how he got Gary's, old man Gary's address, Josh did, my friend that I worked with, right?

992
00:47:06,300 --> 00:47:10,300
So Josh was sending these letters to Gary's house.

993
00:47:10,300 --> 00:47:14,300
Gary might have been divorced or never married.

994
00:47:14,300 --> 00:47:15,300
We didn't know the story on him.

995
00:47:15,300 --> 00:47:18,300
We just knew that he was alone at the time.

996
00:47:18,300 --> 00:47:21,300
We just knew that he lived alone.

997
00:47:21,300 --> 00:47:26,300
Josh sent these without a return address so he could not reply.

998
00:47:26,300 --> 00:47:29,300
We didn't think it would work at all, but it did work.

999
00:47:29,300 --> 00:47:34,300
After two letters, Josh told Gary that he needed to change his wardrobe

1000
00:47:34,300 --> 00:47:39,300
so she could see him cleaned up and all handsome.

1001
00:47:39,300 --> 00:47:43,300
Well, next thing we know, one Monday, he came in wearing a polo shirt,

1002
00:47:43,300 --> 00:47:48,300
expensive golfing shorts, and a high dollar Adidas steel-toed sneakers.

1003
00:47:48,300 --> 00:47:50,300
Remember those?

1004
00:47:50,300 --> 00:47:51,300
Yeah!

1005
00:47:51,300 --> 00:47:54,300
Yeah, those things were like $400 back in the day.

1006
00:47:54,300 --> 00:47:57,300
They were actually Adidas with steel toes in them.

1007
00:47:57,300 --> 00:48:01,300
And he was wearing those because we had to wear steel toes, right?

1008
00:48:01,300 --> 00:48:05,300
I was like, man, are those steel toes?

1009
00:48:05,300 --> 00:48:07,300
And he took and hit it with a bar.

1010
00:48:07,300 --> 00:48:08,300
What are you thinking?

1011
00:48:08,300 --> 00:48:10,300
I'm like, okay, it is.

1012
00:48:10,300 --> 00:48:15,300
Then after he started cleaning up, haircut, nice clothes, etc.,

1013
00:48:15,300 --> 00:48:19,300
Josh said to him, I got back together with my ex-litter.

1014
00:48:19,300 --> 00:48:25,300
I have a feeling afterwards that old bastard Gary probably knew it was one of us.

1015
00:48:25,300 --> 00:48:27,300
But he was unbearable after that.

1016
00:48:27,300 --> 00:48:33,300
He was such a prick because he thought he was going to get together with this Heather chick.

1017
00:48:33,300 --> 00:48:37,300
But Josh kept egging him on, egging him on a little bit more,

1018
00:48:37,300 --> 00:48:41,300
and then went, oh, I got back with my ex-boyfriend.

1019
00:48:41,300 --> 00:48:43,300
Meanwhile, Heather knew nothing.

1020
00:48:43,300 --> 00:48:47,300
The secretary, she knew nothing about this.

1021
00:48:47,300 --> 00:48:52,300
Soon after was my field training, so I got away from the old bastard Gary.

1022
00:48:52,300 --> 00:48:56,300
I ran into Josh three or four years ago, right before COVID.

1023
00:48:56,300 --> 00:48:59,300
It was at Logan International Airport.

1024
00:48:59,300 --> 00:49:04,300
I was waiting to come back to KC, and someone kept yelling Mark way down the hall.

1025
00:49:04,300 --> 00:49:07,300
So anyhow, I'm like, okay, I keep hearing Mark.

1026
00:49:07,300 --> 00:49:08,300
I know it's Mark.

1027
00:49:08,300 --> 00:49:10,300
It can't be Mark or something else.

1028
00:49:10,300 --> 00:49:12,300
Someone is screaming Mark.

1029
00:49:12,300 --> 00:49:21,300
So I turned around and I see this guy waving his arms, and he goes, it's Josh, Josh from the metal.

1030
00:49:21,300 --> 00:49:31,300
And anyhow, so I go there and I meet him, and anyhow, Josh is doing,

1031
00:49:31,300 --> 00:49:38,300
so anyhow, it turns out that he owned a craft brewery somewhere in north Boston.

1032
00:49:38,300 --> 00:49:44,300
And he wanted me to go buy that, but I couldn't because I never made it back to that area since then, since 2019.

1033
00:49:44,300 --> 00:49:49,300
Yeah, and anyhow, every now and then he sends me an email or a text or something.

1034
00:49:49,300 --> 00:49:54,300
Well, usually it's on Messenger and like, hey, what's up and all that stuff.

1035
00:49:54,300 --> 00:50:01,300
He told me that Gary had a stroke and was forced to retire, but the next guy was an even bigger asshole.

1036
00:50:01,300 --> 00:50:05,300
And I don't know how that could have been because Gary was a huge fucking asshole.

1037
00:50:05,300 --> 00:50:09,300
So anyhow, that was my first email.

1038
00:50:09,300 --> 00:50:14,300
And I'm sorry I had to go into that story, but I really needed people to know.

1039
00:50:14,300 --> 00:50:20,300
I really needed people to know why I come up with that, you know, don't get your generals caught in a coffee grinder.

1040
00:50:20,300 --> 00:50:25,300
And that's because old man Gary used to tell us don't get your wiener caught in that sanding jack.

1041
00:50:25,300 --> 00:50:30,300
So anyhow, a tribute to the old bastard.

1042
00:50:30,300 --> 00:50:34,300
All right. My first one here.

1043
00:50:34,300 --> 00:50:43,300
You know what? I'm going to do that last because this first email here actually has a rebuttal from Jeffy X.

1044
00:50:43,300 --> 00:50:49,300
Why? Yes, a rebuttal from Jeffy X.

1045
00:50:49,300 --> 00:50:52,300
It's our old friend that keeps telling us to quit.

1046
00:50:52,300 --> 00:50:57,300
OK. All right.

1047
00:50:57,300 --> 00:51:00,300
So I'm going to go down to the next one.

1048
00:51:00,300 --> 00:51:08,300
I want my pencil shavings now. I've been checking my mailbox every day, but no, you guys owe me some pencil shavings and I want them now.

1049
00:51:08,300 --> 00:51:15,300
Billy in Madison, Wisconsin. Rob, do you remember me or you?

1050
00:51:15,300 --> 00:51:17,300
I thought Billy was you, wasn't it?

1051
00:51:17,300 --> 00:51:20,300
Was it? Oh, shit.

1052
00:51:20,300 --> 00:51:27,300
Well, he wants his pencil. He wants his pencil savings, Rob.

1053
00:51:27,300 --> 00:51:31,300
They're in the mail. They're in the mail, Billy. They're in the mail.

1054
00:51:31,300 --> 00:51:37,300
The fuck? No, I need to shave him down for you, dude.

1055
00:51:37,300 --> 00:51:43,300
I never once thought anyone was going to email about not getting them. I thought they're just going to thank God we didn't send them to them.

1056
00:51:43,300 --> 00:51:48,300
Only on me. Only on me.

1057
00:51:48,300 --> 00:51:50,300
Yeah, I'm glad it was you and not me.

1058
00:51:50,300 --> 00:51:54,300
Even though nobody has got my second one.

1059
00:51:54,300 --> 00:51:55,300
You won. You won.

1060
00:51:55,300 --> 00:51:59,300
When we get done with emails, I will give up.

1061
00:51:59,300 --> 00:52:03,300
OK. Are you going to reveal it to everybody what it is?

1062
00:52:03,300 --> 00:52:07,300
We've had two weeks. Yeah, you won.

1063
00:52:07,300 --> 00:52:11,300
Yeah, let's get done with emails and I'll let everybody know what my fake story was.

1064
00:52:11,300 --> 00:52:16,300
Yes, and I'm still irritated that a guy from Coca-Cola Bobling got me.

1065
00:52:16,300 --> 00:52:21,300
I love it. I love it. Especially with mine, it was so easy.

1066
00:52:21,300 --> 00:52:25,300
I know. And mine, that was hard. They got.

1067
00:52:25,300 --> 00:52:32,300
Mark, is the podcast service you're looking into a mostly sports podcast and online streaming radio service?

1068
00:52:32,300 --> 00:52:35,300
I think I know which one you might be going to. Thanks, man.

1069
00:52:35,300 --> 00:52:43,300
Ron and Warsaw. I'm not going to confirm or deny it because it.

1070
00:52:43,300 --> 00:52:47,300
I've been talking to them regularly and I don't feel that they want me to talk about.

1071
00:52:47,300 --> 00:52:52,300
I think that all this is just, you know, preliminary stuff if it does happen.

1072
00:52:52,300 --> 00:52:55,300
So anyhow, I'm not going to say yay or nay.

1073
00:52:55,300 --> 00:52:59,300
I appreciate your concern, but I'm just I'm just not going to go there.

1074
00:52:59,300 --> 00:53:03,300
I hope you can appreciate it. Not until everything's in writing.

1075
00:53:03,300 --> 00:53:07,300
Yeah. So Ron and Warsaw, thank you. I think Warsaw, Missouri.

1076
00:53:07,300 --> 00:53:13,300
I don't think Poland. So anyhow. With Warsaw is an hour from me.

1077
00:53:13,300 --> 00:53:16,300
Oh, yeah, it is, isn't it? Yep. Right up to 65.

1078
00:53:16,300 --> 00:53:21,300
Pretty close to me. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you, Ron.

1079
00:53:21,300 --> 00:53:24,300
But you know what? I can't really say that much about it right now.

1080
00:53:24,300 --> 00:53:28,300
We're still talking to them and they're really good people and I don't want to break that trust.

1081
00:53:28,300 --> 00:53:33,300
So this excellent. Hey, guys, this is Jimmy, Opal's grandson.

1082
00:53:33,300 --> 00:53:37,300
You wanted to hear from us. Yeah. Yeah, I know.

1083
00:53:37,300 --> 00:53:41,300
You want to hear from us. So here I am. I'm still listening.

1084
00:53:41,300 --> 00:53:45,300
And so is my grandma. She loves a new origin of segments. That's good.

1085
00:53:45,300 --> 00:53:50,300
I don't know if anyone would like him or not. She likes him.

1086
00:53:50,300 --> 00:53:55,300
Because they're not necessarily funny bits. They're just informative, right?

1087
00:53:55,300 --> 00:54:00,300
Right. Anyway, I'm glad she likes him. I keep up the great podcast. Thanks.

1088
00:54:00,300 --> 00:54:03,300
P.S. All the big storms have been going around us.

1089
00:54:03,300 --> 00:54:08,300
We're extremely dry around here, worried about the planting season.

1090
00:54:08,300 --> 00:54:13,300
So I guess they haven't been getting those storms. I thought they were. They're going around them.

1091
00:54:13,300 --> 00:54:18,300
That sounds like here, man. Yeah, it does. Everything goes around us.

1092
00:54:18,300 --> 00:54:20,300
Yeah, that's what's been going on for what, three years now?

1093
00:54:20,300 --> 00:54:25,300
And I don't see any end to it. It doesn't look like it, at least.

1094
00:54:25,300 --> 00:54:31,300
All right. Mark, do you have any advice for someone who wants to be a clown that juggles fire?

1095
00:54:31,300 --> 00:54:34,300
Thanks in advance. Tony.

1096
00:54:34,300 --> 00:54:42,300
Hey. Okay, Tony. Hey. I'm glad they asked your opinion.

1097
00:54:42,300 --> 00:54:47,300
Okay, Tony. Great choice. Great choice.

1098
00:54:47,300 --> 00:54:51,300
Not many clowns that juggle fire anymore. You'll have plenty of work.

1099
00:54:51,300 --> 00:54:58,300
My advice is practice, practice, practice. There you go, Tony. Do it. Do it.

1100
00:54:58,300 --> 00:55:03,300
Not many clowns do that anymore. No. I think there's a hell of a market for it.

1101
00:55:03,300 --> 00:55:07,300
So, all right. What a career choice, Tony.

1102
00:55:07,300 --> 00:55:11,300
Birthday parties. Yeah, everything. We might even hire you.

1103
00:55:11,300 --> 00:55:18,300
Like we do a remote somewhere. Like, oh, when we go to the Filthy Bean in Nashville,

1104
00:55:18,300 --> 00:55:22,300
maybe Rick would want you to juggle fire in front of his business.

1105
00:55:22,300 --> 00:55:29,300
Is he rebuilding from the fire? Yes. Yes, he is.

1106
00:55:29,300 --> 00:55:34,300
Yeah, he ain't gonna want fire in there. Oh, you know what, Rick? I'm sorry.

1107
00:55:34,300 --> 00:55:36,300
Come on, man. Rob, you're right. You're right. Sorry.

1108
00:55:36,300 --> 00:55:45,300
Oh, he does want you. But, you know what? We could have one of our grandkids' birthday parties and have it show up.

1109
00:55:45,300 --> 00:55:52,300
Okay, we can do that. And also, Rick wants you to pose for his new stone ground coffee Mayan.

1110
00:55:52,300 --> 00:56:03,300
His Mayan coffee stone ground. He wants you to be in your loin cloth and a stone grinding coffee on the front of the bag of beans.

1111
00:56:03,300 --> 00:56:07,300
You think you could do that? Like you are in the jigsaw puzzle.

1112
00:56:07,300 --> 00:56:14,300
I'll talk to him about it. All right. Well, we gave him a jigsaw puzzle and he loved it.

1113
00:56:14,300 --> 00:56:19,300
And now he wants to see that on the bag of stone ground Mayan coffee.

1114
00:56:19,300 --> 00:56:29,300
Which, by the way, my book sales are up, too. Oh, good. Good. How to clean raw sewage and track your enemy by scent.

1115
00:56:29,300 --> 00:56:36,300
Oh, man. What great books. I mean, it was sterling from first to end, I tell you.

1116
00:56:36,300 --> 00:56:41,300
I've got plenty of time in my spare time. So, yeah.

1117
00:56:41,300 --> 00:56:47,300
I hear you're writing a follow-up. Yeah, I'm getting ready to. I'm getting ready to.

1118
00:56:47,300 --> 00:56:58,300
Good. Good. And finally, hey, D-bags, we're doing spin outs on Chet's souped-up lawnmower. You know who this is.

1119
00:56:58,300 --> 00:57:05,300
Oh, Chet. Yep. Yep. Man, that old green machine can set the pavement ablaze.

1120
00:57:05,300 --> 00:57:10,300
We have the GoFundMe for Natty Light for you guys when you come down. Oh, good. Good.

1121
00:57:10,300 --> 00:57:16,300
I'll get you a GoFundMe. Yeah, yeah. For Natty Light. I'm trying to lay off, guys.

1122
00:57:16,300 --> 00:57:25,300
Oh, shit. Yeah, you know what? Hey, get a GoFundMe for Natty Light and Coca-Cola. No, no, no. Sweet tea. Sweet tea, right?

1123
00:57:25,300 --> 00:57:34,300
I'll bring my own. Okay. Then have a GoFundMe for your guys' Natty Light. I'll bring my own drink, okay?

1124
00:57:34,300 --> 00:57:42,300
Yeah. Have the GoFundMe for the gas for the motors. There we go. There. Yeah. Just change it. Yeah, let's have some fun.

1125
00:57:42,300 --> 00:57:45,300
There we go. Just change it a little bit. I don't have that.

1126
00:57:45,300 --> 00:57:51,300
Okay. So, the Civil War enactment ain't that far away. Will you use Rob? Maybe pick it. Okay.

1127
00:57:51,300 --> 00:57:59,300
Also, could Rob maybe pick us up a few jars of peach preserves from the country store just outside of Lincoln, Missouri?

1128
00:57:59,300 --> 00:58:06,300
Thanks in advance, William Montrose. So, he wants a couple of jars of peach preserves from that store.

1129
00:58:06,300 --> 00:58:13,300
You know the store that's right off the highway there in Lincoln, Missouri, just four ways back? Yes, yes.

1130
00:58:13,300 --> 00:58:18,300
I'd have to go a little north and come back and cut back across, but I could do it.

1131
00:58:18,300 --> 00:58:22,300
Okay, guys. There you go. You're getting the preserves from that little Lincoln store.

1132
00:58:22,300 --> 00:58:47,300
From where I'm coming from, I hit Warsaw to cut that way before Lincoln. So, I'd have to go up, hit Lincoln, come back to Warsaw to go back up, go to Taiwan and into Montrose, Clinton, Montrose. Yep.

1133
00:58:47,300 --> 00:58:56,300
Cool. Well, all right, then. I could do it. You guys are going to be getting your peach preserves, too.

1134
00:58:56,300 --> 00:59:03,300
Do you have all this written down, all the stuff you're supposed to bring them? Yeah. Okay, good.

1135
00:59:03,300 --> 00:59:08,300
Rob is a man of his word, so when we come down, he will have all of those above-set things.

1136
00:59:08,300 --> 00:59:23,300
Okay, okay. Now, maybe not the tarp bars. Oh, that's right. That's right. He doesn't know. I'm still having troubles out of Titewad. Come on, Titewad. Evidently, you guys don't listen to us.

1137
00:59:23,300 --> 00:59:39,300
You know, yeah. You know, I think that Montrose thinks that you can get anything, and I mean, they've got to realize that they pissed Titewad off, and Titewad may not give them those.

1138
00:59:39,300 --> 00:59:48,300
What was that, peach preserves? Peach preserves from that little country store just outside of Lincoln. It's on the east side of Lincoln. It's right off the highway there.

1139
00:59:48,300 --> 00:59:59,300
Gotcha. I know what you're doing. It's just past that old folks home. Yep. Yep. Right. Well, you got your peach preserves, and he's going to try to get all your car stuff for you, but you got to know.

1140
00:59:59,300 --> 01:00:08,300
You pissed Titewad off because you're constantly badgering them, and they just may run out of whatever you want, you know? So.

1141
01:00:08,300 --> 01:00:22,300
I'm starting to think we jumped into the Hatfields and McCoys is what I'm thinking. That's the way I see it, too. They act like they really don't care for each other, and the sad thing is we're in the middle of it.

1142
01:00:22,300 --> 01:00:29,300
We like both of you guys, and you know, we didn't. Yeah. We like everybody. Yeah.

1143
01:00:29,300 --> 01:00:40,300
You know, we would like to arrange a truce between you two if we could. Well, you know what? Maybe that's another day. Let's take our break. We're going to go to a story of yours.

1144
01:00:40,300 --> 01:00:46,300
Maybe we could get the leaders down here to Lake of the Ozarks one week, you know, on my turf.

1145
01:00:46,300 --> 01:00:50,300
That would be good. Get them off their turf. Put them on my turf.

1146
01:00:50,300 --> 01:00:56,300
You know what? Yeah. Yeah. We'll like feed them some psychedelic mushrooms and put them all in a room.

1147
01:00:56,300 --> 01:01:02,300
Oh, no, no, no. No. I just want to hash things out.

1148
01:01:02,300 --> 01:01:09,300
Well, that's what I said. Some psychedelic mushrooms. Oh, come all in a room.

1149
01:01:09,300 --> 01:01:19,300
They would be able to fight. They'd be laughing and pointing to shit. Yeah. They probably just like develop a dependency on each other to not fall down. Right.

1150
01:01:19,300 --> 01:01:27,300
I don't know. Let's take a break. Yeah. Yeah. This is going straight to hell right now.

1151
01:01:27,300 --> 01:01:37,300
We'll be right back. Come up with psychedelic mushrooms. I don't fucking know. My mind's fucked. You know that.

1152
01:01:37,300 --> 01:01:44,300
That's why I love you. Yep. Yep. And that's why I love you, too. Your mind's fucked also. But we're different kinds of.

1153
01:01:44,300 --> 01:01:54,300
You're right. Two douchebags and a microphone reminds you that you'll never get this hour back.

1154
01:01:54,300 --> 01:02:01,300
Sorry about your luck.

1155
01:02:01,300 --> 01:02:07,300
Now it's time for pick up lines from a loser. Hey, girl, are you a beaver?

1156
01:02:07,300 --> 01:02:14,300
Because damn.

1157
01:02:14,300 --> 01:02:21,300
As much fun as an electric can opener to the scrotum.

1158
01:02:21,300 --> 01:02:25,300
Next up, things overheard in hell.

1159
01:02:25,300 --> 01:02:32,300
The brand new kale cola started selling nationwide yesterday.

1160
01:02:32,300 --> 01:02:39,300
And now deep thoughts with Mark.

1161
01:02:39,300 --> 01:02:52,300
So if I have a glass of ice water and the ice melts into the water, is my water then watered down?

1162
01:02:52,300 --> 01:02:58,300
I may never know.

1163
01:02:58,300 --> 01:03:06,300
Two douchebags and a microphone says you ever dream about eating chocolate pudding and wake up with a spoon in your ass?

1164
01:03:06,300 --> 01:03:15,300
Just asking. Since we haven't a budget here at two douchebags and a microphone, here's a random guy on the street to promote our show.

1165
01:03:15,300 --> 01:03:25,300
Hi, everybody. I'm Freddy. I love listening to two douchebags and a microphone, and I get all my pertinent information from them.

1166
01:03:25,300 --> 01:03:29,300
They are incredible and I love them, though.

1167
01:03:29,300 --> 01:03:35,300
And now deep thoughts with Mark.

1168
01:03:35,300 --> 01:03:44,300
Should I record frog sounds in the summer, then play them when it's zero degrees on my ring doorbell for the Amazon guy?

1169
01:03:44,300 --> 01:03:51,300
Yeah, that sounds like fun.

1170
01:03:51,300 --> 01:03:59,300
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.

1171
01:03:59,300 --> 01:04:11,300
Don't be ashamed of who you are. That's your parents job.

1172
01:04:11,300 --> 01:04:16,300
Two douchebags and a microphone. Because we all need dick jokes.

1173
01:04:16,300 --> 01:04:18,300
And I'm Rob.

1174
01:04:18,300 --> 01:04:23,300
Alright, Rob, you got something you want to relay to us?

1175
01:04:23,300 --> 01:04:25,300
Yeah, yeah, I got one here for you.

1176
01:04:25,300 --> 01:04:26,300
Alright.

1177
01:04:26,300 --> 01:04:31,300
And this is another one I found. Oh, oh, first off, first off.

1178
01:04:31,300 --> 01:04:34,300
Okay.

1179
01:04:34,300 --> 01:04:41,300
For those that want to know what my fake story was.

1180
01:04:41,300 --> 01:04:43,300
I'm going to go back.

1181
01:04:43,300 --> 01:04:46,300
The one you guys didn't get?

1182
01:04:46,300 --> 01:04:50,300
Yes, that Mark is so upset about.

1183
01:04:50,300 --> 01:04:55,300
Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm, yeah. Not happy.

1184
01:04:55,300 --> 01:05:18,300
Okay, well, it was a story that I mentioned in MCIS after Scott Batchelor was charged over the January 16th going into the Capitol building.

1185
01:05:18,300 --> 01:05:22,300
It was not Scott Batchelor.

1186
01:05:22,300 --> 01:05:36,300
It was an MCIS actor, but it was actually Nolan Freeman, which I have, he was on the rookie too. I don't have a clue who he is.

1187
01:05:36,300 --> 01:05:41,300
Me neither. But anyhow, you guys didn't catch it.

1188
01:05:41,300 --> 01:05:52,300
Well, they mentioned Scott Batchelor. He was on New Orleans. Hey, that's my, that's my MCIS. I don't watch any of New Orleans. That's it.

1189
01:05:52,300 --> 01:05:54,300
Yeah, well, okay.

1190
01:05:54,300 --> 01:05:56,300
Sorry, guys.

1191
01:05:56,300 --> 01:05:57,300
He won that one.

1192
01:05:57,300 --> 01:05:59,300
Hopefully you catch me next time.

1193
01:05:59,300 --> 01:06:06,300
I've got one I'm working on. I think I'm going to get everybody on, but I thought I was going to do that with the last one. So, I did.

1194
01:06:06,300 --> 01:06:11,300
I'm going to move on into something else.

1195
01:06:11,300 --> 01:06:18,300
This comes off our site, Society of Rock.

1196
01:06:18,300 --> 01:06:20,300
Okay, cool.

1197
01:06:20,300 --> 01:06:26,300
Seven cheesy guitar solos of all time.

1198
01:06:26,300 --> 01:06:29,300
I want to hear this.

1199
01:06:29,300 --> 01:06:33,300
I figured you would.

1200
01:06:33,300 --> 01:06:37,300
And this is no certain order.

1201
01:06:37,300 --> 01:06:38,300
Okay.

1202
01:06:38,300 --> 01:06:39,300
Okay.

1203
01:06:39,300 --> 01:06:41,300
All right.

1204
01:06:41,300 --> 01:06:46,300
First one is Mother by the Police.

1205
01:06:46,300 --> 01:06:50,300
Yeah, that is a cheesy solo.

1206
01:06:50,300 --> 01:07:08,300
Andy Summers of the Police, question mark. Absolute legend, but every legend has that one moment they'd rather not talk about at the parties. Enter the guitar solo in Mother.

1207
01:07:08,300 --> 01:07:09,300
Wow.

1208
01:07:09,300 --> 01:07:11,300
Good point. Good point.

1209
01:07:11,300 --> 01:07:12,300
Yep.

1210
01:07:12,300 --> 01:07:17,300
Some of these you just got to listen to. I'm cutting out a lot of words.

1211
01:07:17,300 --> 01:07:25,300
There's time here, but okay, second one.

1212
01:07:25,300 --> 01:07:29,300
You're going to like this one too.

1213
01:07:29,300 --> 01:07:32,300
Unskinny Bop by Poison.

1214
01:07:32,300 --> 01:07:34,300
100%.

1215
01:07:34,300 --> 01:07:37,300
100%.

1216
01:07:37,300 --> 01:07:57,300
Air metal, a genre known for shredding solos that make or break careers, then there's CC DeBille's work on Unskinny Bop, which, well, let's just say it won't be winning any awards.

1217
01:07:57,300 --> 01:08:01,300
And yeah, I'm reading this online.

1218
01:08:01,300 --> 01:08:07,300
Not my words, but I agree.

1219
01:08:07,300 --> 01:08:10,300
Third one.

1220
01:08:10,300 --> 01:08:15,300
Lenny Kravitz, American Woman.

1221
01:08:15,300 --> 01:08:19,300
I don't know if I agree with this one.

1222
01:08:19,300 --> 01:08:24,300
I think...

1223
01:08:24,300 --> 01:08:28,300
Yeah, I don't see either, but...

1224
01:08:28,300 --> 01:08:29,300
Okay.

1225
01:08:29,300 --> 01:08:34,300
His Attempted American Woman was supposed to be homage, maybe.

1226
01:08:34,300 --> 01:08:43,300
What we got was a solo that freaked of trying too hard without actually getting anywhere.

1227
01:08:43,300 --> 01:08:48,300
I think he was trying to kind of copy the song, but not too much.

1228
01:08:48,300 --> 01:08:55,300
And that's what he came up with. I didn't take it like anything else, but I don't know. I mean, it's all subject to opinion.

1229
01:08:55,300 --> 01:09:12,300
Well, it also says it's almost as if he thought, and then it says in quotations, what would Hendrix do, and then he did the opposite.

1230
01:09:12,300 --> 01:09:17,300
Well, I guess he didn't light his guitar on fire, right?

1231
01:09:17,300 --> 01:09:18,300
Good point.

1232
01:09:18,300 --> 01:09:20,300
Yeah.

1233
01:09:20,300 --> 01:09:22,300
He saved his guitar.

1234
01:09:22,300 --> 01:09:31,300
I don't know how they get all the Hendrix comparisons. They are two totally different sounding and types of guitarists and singers.

1235
01:09:31,300 --> 01:09:32,300
Okay.

1236
01:09:32,300 --> 01:09:35,300
I've never gotten it.

1237
01:09:35,300 --> 01:09:39,300
Hendrix was from the 70s. He was black.

1238
01:09:39,300 --> 01:09:43,300
And nothing racially. Nothing racially.

1239
01:09:43,300 --> 01:09:44,300
No, I get what you're saying.

1240
01:09:44,300 --> 01:09:45,300
He was a little bit of black.

1241
01:09:45,300 --> 01:09:48,300
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

1242
01:09:48,300 --> 01:10:12,300
But then here comes Lenny, what, 20, 30 years later, known for being outrageous on the guitar. So he would be like the next Hendrix.

1243
01:10:12,300 --> 01:10:15,300
Okay, I guess so. I thought Prince would be...

1244
01:10:15,300 --> 01:10:16,300
I'm going to skip that.

1245
01:10:16,300 --> 01:10:24,300
I think Prince would have been a better comparison is what I feel. Prince had more of a type of a Hendrix attitude.

1246
01:10:24,300 --> 01:10:25,300
Now music-wise.

1247
01:10:25,300 --> 01:10:31,300
Oh, I thought it's music-wise because of his guitar capabilities and his sound.

1248
01:10:31,300 --> 01:10:32,300
Well, yeah.

1249
01:10:32,300 --> 01:10:41,300
Prince was one of the most underrated guitarists. He was one of the most underrated guitarists ever, Prince was. That guy, he was fantastic on guitar.

1250
01:10:41,300 --> 01:10:43,300
Yeah, we've agreed on that.

1251
01:10:43,300 --> 01:10:47,300
Yeah. So, okay. All right. Go ahead.

1252
01:10:47,300 --> 01:10:52,300
Okay, next up.

1253
01:10:52,300 --> 01:10:57,300
The Rolling Stones, Ain't Too Proud to Beg.

1254
01:10:57,300 --> 01:11:01,300
I'm trying to hear that song in my head. I don't remember it.

1255
01:11:01,300 --> 01:11:04,300
Peter Richards. Yeah, yeah.

1256
01:11:04,300 --> 01:11:06,300
I'm going to take a word for it. I can't really...

1257
01:11:06,300 --> 01:11:17,300
The riff master himself occasionally misses the target. Ain't Too Proud to Beg might just have given Mick Taylor the push he needed to say,

1258
01:11:17,300 --> 01:11:32,300
that's it, I'm out of here. The solo kicks in and suddenly you're left wondering if he forgot there were strings on his guitar.

1259
01:11:32,300 --> 01:11:35,300
Well, to be fair...

1260
01:11:35,300 --> 01:11:37,300
I'm just reading what's on my mind.

1261
01:11:37,300 --> 01:11:43,300
Okay, you know what? Go on. You know what? They weren't known for guitar solos, but that's okay.

1262
01:11:43,300 --> 01:11:47,300
No, they weren't. But that was their attempt.

1263
01:11:47,300 --> 01:11:51,300
Okay.

1264
01:11:51,300 --> 01:11:57,300
Next one. She Shook Me Cold, David Bowie.

1265
01:11:57,300 --> 01:12:08,300
Yeah, I'm familiar with that song. And yeah, from what I remember, it was a rather simple solo that didn't really go anywhere, so I think I could agree with that. Yeah.

1266
01:12:08,300 --> 01:12:26,300
Mick Ronson and some hero behind many Bowie hits usually dazzles. But on She Shook Me Cold, the saddest ass-ass guitar actually got switched to autopilot.

1267
01:12:26,300 --> 01:12:31,300
Okay. I don't think I want to hear that.

1268
01:12:31,300 --> 01:12:34,300
Oh, here we go.

1269
01:12:34,300 --> 01:12:36,300
Okay.

1270
01:12:36,300 --> 01:12:40,300
Song I haven't heard of in a while.

1271
01:12:40,300 --> 01:12:41,300
Okay.

1272
01:12:41,300 --> 01:12:45,300
Cover of the Rolling Stone by Dr. Hook.

1273
01:12:45,300 --> 01:12:55,300
Yeah. That's a good song, and the solo is rather simplistic and probably kind of cheesy, yeah.

1274
01:12:55,300 --> 01:12:56,300
What do you think?

1275
01:12:56,300 --> 01:13:15,300
With some titles like You Make My Pants Want to Get Up and Dance, they weren't exactly flying for lyrical profanity, a la Bob Dylan.

1276
01:13:15,300 --> 01:13:30,300
The once-full, cheeky approach is all part of the charm until you hit the train wreck nestled in the heart of their hit song, Cover of the Rolling Stone.

1277
01:13:30,300 --> 01:13:37,300
Okay. All right, I'll go with that. I don't think I have anything much to argue with.

1278
01:13:37,300 --> 01:13:38,300
I will, too.

1279
01:13:38,300 --> 01:13:39,300
Okay.

1280
01:13:39,300 --> 01:13:42,300
I thought that was one of the best ones.

1281
01:13:42,300 --> 01:13:45,300
I thought so, too, but okay, I can go with that.

1282
01:13:45,300 --> 01:13:47,300
This ain't my opinion. It's somebody else's.

1283
01:13:47,300 --> 01:13:54,300
No, and that's why I'm just like, okay. I mean, I really don't have any basis to argue with anyhow, so okay.

1284
01:13:54,300 --> 01:13:56,300
Okay. You ready for the last one?

1285
01:13:56,300 --> 01:13:59,300
Yes.

1286
01:13:59,300 --> 01:14:01,300
Some Kind of Monster by Metallica.

1287
01:14:01,300 --> 01:14:09,300
Oh, absolutely. I'm so glad they did that. 100% without a doubt. That solo is garbage.

1288
01:14:09,300 --> 01:14:14,300
Eric Hammett can do so much better than that, but he doesn't care anymore. None of them care anymore.

1289
01:14:14,300 --> 01:14:23,300
They throw out shit just to see if people will buy it, and they do. My opinion. Allegedly.

1290
01:14:23,300 --> 01:14:26,300
All right. Well, let me read what the article says.

1291
01:14:26,300 --> 01:14:29,300
I'm sorry. Go ahead.

1292
01:14:29,300 --> 01:14:32,300
Metallica's St. Anger album.

1293
01:14:32,300 --> 01:14:34,300
Speaking of St. Anger.

1294
01:14:34,300 --> 01:14:48,300
It's a gem racked up in a riddle, especially for a band that has Kurt Hammett, a veritable electric guitar virtuoso in its ranks.

1295
01:14:48,300 --> 01:15:01,300
Yet in a move that puzzles many, the album is strikingly devoid of the soaring guitar solos that have defined much of Metallica's legacy.

1296
01:15:01,300 --> 01:15:13,300
Ted Hammett is regulated to the role of rhythm guitarist chugging by James Hatfield's vocal carattas.

1297
01:15:13,300 --> 01:15:16,300
Mm-hmm.

1298
01:15:16,300 --> 01:15:18,300
You're right.

1299
01:15:18,300 --> 01:15:24,300
Yeah. To me, this is what I think goes on. I think they don't feel like writing anymore.

1300
01:15:24,300 --> 01:15:31,300
They've been through rehabs and all different types of fights and their bassist being killed.

1301
01:15:31,300 --> 01:15:43,300
They've been through all this stuff, and I think that they really don't feel like doing music anymore like a lot of bands, you know, a la Motley Crue or whoever's out there right now.

1302
01:15:43,300 --> 01:15:47,300
Most of them don't do music anymore. Aerosmith hasn't done music in quite a while.

1303
01:15:47,300 --> 01:15:48,300
Wow.

1304
01:15:48,300 --> 01:15:53,300
You see, they don't really feel like writing songs anymore. The only guy that still does it is Ozzy.

1305
01:15:53,300 --> 01:15:58,300
But all the other ones, they don't come out with albums anymore, generally.

1306
01:15:58,300 --> 01:16:06,300
So I think that Metallica is just having fun, putting out bullshit and seeing how many people will buy it. That's what I think is going on.

1307
01:16:06,300 --> 01:16:09,300
Where's Ingve?

1308
01:16:09,300 --> 01:16:12,300
Ingve, he hasn't put out anything in a long time, but he still tours.

1309
01:16:12,300 --> 01:16:14,300
That's what I'm saying. He needs to.

1310
01:16:14,300 --> 01:16:15,300
Yeah, Ingve was touring.

1311
01:16:15,300 --> 01:16:19,300
Ingve would wipe, yeah, Ingve would wipe them up.

1312
01:16:19,300 --> 01:16:25,300
I saw Ingve with the Generation X Tour a few years back at a town theater.

1313
01:16:25,300 --> 01:16:26,300
That would have been awesome.

1314
01:16:26,300 --> 01:16:40,300
Oh, he was still fantastic. He was still the flamboyant showman. He played perfectly like he always does, did all the melodic fast stuff. He was excellent.

1315
01:16:40,300 --> 01:16:54,300
Ingve hasn't put out an album in quite a while, but he just tours. He came by with like, really the star of that show was Muno Betancourt and Zach Wilde.

1316
01:16:54,300 --> 01:16:59,300
Those two stole that show, Generation X, the one that I saw.

1317
01:16:59,300 --> 01:17:06,300
Before, the first guy was a guy named Taboshi. He's got a new style of rhythm lead that's really excellent.

1318
01:17:06,300 --> 01:17:11,300
I forgot what band he plays in, but he's really good. He's interesting.

1319
01:17:11,300 --> 01:17:16,300
But then Muno Betancourt came out and he sang almost just like Gary Sharone.

1320
01:17:16,300 --> 01:17:20,300
And he did more than words and he did some other stuff.

1321
01:17:20,300 --> 01:17:21,300
Really?

1322
01:17:21,300 --> 01:17:25,300
Yeah, and then him and Zach Wilde got together and did a couple of Hendrix songs.

1323
01:17:25,300 --> 01:17:30,300
And Zach and him sang together in harmony so well, and they both played spot on.

1324
01:17:30,300 --> 01:17:36,300
And to me, Zach and Muno were just like the stars of that Generation X.

1325
01:17:36,300 --> 01:17:42,300
And yeah, the rest of them were good. Steve Vai was really good. Ingve was really good.

1326
01:17:42,300 --> 01:17:46,300
Who was the other guy? I think it was Phil Collin from Def Leppard. He was good.

1327
01:17:46,300 --> 01:17:49,300
No, no, no, he wasn't on that one. That was on the other one.

1328
01:17:49,300 --> 01:17:52,300
I forgot there was someone in between there too, I think.

1329
01:17:52,300 --> 01:17:57,300
But the thing is, they stole the show to me. It was really good.

1330
01:17:57,300 --> 01:18:03,300
So anyhow, yeah, the answer is Rob, none of them really put out music anymore.

1331
01:18:03,300 --> 01:18:04,300
Right.

1332
01:18:04,300 --> 01:18:08,300
Yep. Well, we are getting late in the show.

1333
01:18:08,300 --> 01:18:14,300
Do you want me to do the email of the dickhead and the replies that Jeffy X gave him?

1334
01:18:14,300 --> 01:18:16,300
Or do you want to save it till tomorrow?

1335
01:18:16,300 --> 01:18:19,300
No, I want to hear it.

1336
01:18:19,300 --> 01:18:27,300
Okay. Alright, this comes from our un-fan that loves to send us messages to tell us to quit.

1337
01:18:27,300 --> 01:18:32,300
And like we always say, it's easier for you to quit listening than for us to quit.

1338
01:18:32,300 --> 01:18:34,300
So anyhow, he's still angry.

1339
01:18:34,300 --> 01:18:37,300
When he keeps hack on us, then he keeps listening to it.

1340
01:18:37,300 --> 01:18:44,300
Exactly. So Jeffy X got with me and he said, hey, let me do some stuff for this bastard.

1341
01:18:44,300 --> 01:18:51,300
And I said, okay, Jeffy X, it's all yours. So, hey Mark, you think you're a radio guy.

1342
01:18:51,300 --> 01:18:55,300
It's just a shitty podcast. Please quit, you suck.

1343
01:18:55,300 --> 01:19:01,300
Sir, every time I look in my wallet, I know I'm not a radio guy.

1344
01:19:01,300 --> 01:19:06,300
I am self-aware. This is a podcast and not a really big one.

1345
01:19:06,300 --> 01:19:09,300
And I know this. I'm having some fun.

1346
01:19:09,300 --> 01:19:17,300
But anyhow, it's like I said, it's easier for you to quit listening because we're not going to stop making these shitty podcasts.

1347
01:19:17,300 --> 01:19:19,300
No, we are not. We are not.

1348
01:19:19,300 --> 01:19:23,300
So Jeffy X intercepted this email and he had some stuff.

1349
01:19:23,300 --> 01:19:32,300
He said he did some looking around and he found out some podcasts that he thought would fit you very well.

1350
01:19:32,300 --> 01:19:34,300
And Jeffy X is a snoot.

1351
01:19:34,300 --> 01:19:37,300
And I'm not going to go into all the Jeffy X stuff because of time constraints.

1352
01:19:37,300 --> 01:19:43,300
But everyone that listens knows who Jeffy X is and all the stuff we're going to do for him and all that stuff.

1353
01:19:43,300 --> 01:19:51,300
So anyhow, the first one is the Micro Penis Podcast is right up your alley.

1354
01:19:51,300 --> 01:19:54,300
It is Jeffy's first suggestion.

1355
01:19:54,300 --> 01:20:00,300
And I think I would agree with that. What do you think, Rob?

1356
01:20:00,300 --> 01:20:01,300
Yep.

1357
01:20:01,300 --> 01:20:02,300
Yeah.

1358
01:20:02,300 --> 01:20:05,300
That's what I can do.

1359
01:20:05,300 --> 01:20:13,300
The next one that Jeffy X sent us is the How to Dress Fashionably in a Hide Man Boobs Podcast.

1360
01:20:13,300 --> 01:20:15,300
Yes, I would agree.

1361
01:20:15,300 --> 01:20:17,300
I can see that one, Jeffy.

1362
01:20:17,300 --> 01:20:18,300
Yes.

1363
01:20:18,300 --> 01:20:19,300
I can see that one.

1364
01:20:19,300 --> 01:20:22,300
I think Jeffy got a look at this asshole and he thought, you know.

1365
01:20:22,300 --> 01:20:24,300
Hey, you're talking about my buddy here.

1366
01:20:24,300 --> 01:20:27,300
Yep.

1367
01:20:27,300 --> 01:20:35,300
The next one that Jeffy X suggested, podcast that he should listen to it, is the How to Wine and Throw a Fit Podcast.

1368
01:20:35,300 --> 01:20:41,300
You don't really need any help with this, but you can identify with it at the least.

1369
01:20:41,300 --> 01:20:43,300
I would agree.

1370
01:20:43,300 --> 01:20:47,300
Does there even need to be a podcast about that?

1371
01:20:47,300 --> 01:20:51,300
No, because this guy demonstrates it every day. He wakes up and hates us.

1372
01:20:51,300 --> 01:20:54,300
He ain't the only person.

1373
01:20:54,300 --> 01:20:58,300
This next one. I guess they gotta have somebody to talk to each other.

1374
01:20:58,300 --> 01:20:59,300
I guess so.

1375
01:20:59,300 --> 01:21:01,300
All right. I'll get them now.

1376
01:21:01,300 --> 01:21:02,300
All right.

1377
01:21:02,300 --> 01:21:08,300
Next one. Your dad hates your mom for not aborting you podcast.

1378
01:21:08,300 --> 01:21:15,300
Jeffy, I love you.

1379
01:21:15,300 --> 01:21:16,300
You know what?

1380
01:21:16,300 --> 01:21:17,300
Oh my God.

1381
01:21:17,300 --> 01:21:21,300
I'm predicting this asshole will never send us another email after this.

1382
01:21:21,300 --> 01:21:25,300
I think he's gonna really be done.

1383
01:21:25,300 --> 01:21:28,300
Thank God we don't have the FCC on our ass.

1384
01:21:28,300 --> 01:21:32,300
Exactly. Oh my God. No, we would have been. Yeah.

1385
01:21:32,300 --> 01:21:42,300
Oh my God. Right now, our parent company would be getting all the fines and like calling us up at this hour telling us to get in right now.

1386
01:21:42,300 --> 01:21:47,300
Just because of Jeffy, our sidekick, our side worker.

1387
01:21:47,300 --> 01:21:49,300
Our side worker. He's awesome.

1388
01:21:49,300 --> 01:21:52,300
Yeah. He does all of our footwork for us.

1389
01:21:52,300 --> 01:21:54,300
He does. He's amazing.

1390
01:21:54,300 --> 01:22:01,300
The next podcast that Jeffy X suggested for the Said Loser is the Selfish Lover podcast.

1391
01:22:01,300 --> 01:22:06,300
Yeah. Yeah. You know he's a one. You know he's a two stroke genius.

1392
01:22:06,300 --> 01:22:11,300
You know he's a three stroke pump and dump. Right?

1393
01:22:11,300 --> 01:22:14,300
Yeah. I can see that. That's all I'm saying. I can see that.

1394
01:22:14,300 --> 01:22:16,300
Yeah. I can see that too.

1395
01:22:16,300 --> 01:22:23,300
The next one that Jeffy X suggests for Said Loser is the Extremely Low IQ podcast.

1396
01:22:23,300 --> 01:22:26,300
Yeah. Oh yeah. We've known this.

1397
01:22:26,300 --> 01:22:29,300
Very good choice, Jeffy. Very good choice.

1398
01:22:29,300 --> 01:22:34,300
Jeffy, once again, you're spot on with everything that you've come up with.

1399
01:22:34,300 --> 01:22:35,300
Yeah, he is.

1400
01:22:35,300 --> 01:22:45,300
Yeah. The next one that Jeffy X suggested to Said Loser is the How to Hide Your Incompetence podcast.

1401
01:22:45,300 --> 01:22:48,300
I think he's right on with that one too. What do you think, Rob?

1402
01:22:48,300 --> 01:22:51,300
Yeah. They're spot on with it. They're spot on with it.

1403
01:22:51,300 --> 01:22:56,300
He's just amazing. He just gets this stuff.

1404
01:22:56,300 --> 01:23:06,300
The How to Shower Correctly podcast, but you'll need a book with pictures as well.

1405
01:23:06,300 --> 01:23:07,300
Nice job, Jeffy.

1406
01:23:07,300 --> 01:23:12,300
Nice, nice job, Jeffy. You got him in the corner. He's getting ready to fall down.

1407
01:23:12,300 --> 01:23:15,300
You're about to knock it. You're about to take him out, dude.

1408
01:23:15,300 --> 01:23:18,300
He's got the dumb look and he's spinning all over.

1409
01:23:18,300 --> 01:23:26,300
And then finally, the easy way to remove gerbils from your rectal canal podcast will greatly benefit you.

1410
01:23:26,300 --> 01:23:29,300
And we have the knockout.

1411
01:23:29,300 --> 01:23:36,300
Boom. On the floor. No standing eight count here. He's on the ground for all of it.

1412
01:23:36,300 --> 01:23:42,300
And he ain't getting back up. He's got his threat through me and loaded into an ambulance.

1413
01:23:42,300 --> 01:23:49,300
All right, Loser. You got anything else to say? Email me so we can bash you again, fuckface.

1414
01:23:49,300 --> 01:23:54,300
But we love you. Yeah. You know what? Actually, his stuff has been very...

1415
01:23:54,300 --> 01:23:56,300
You're fun to play with. You're fun to play with.

1416
01:23:56,300 --> 01:24:02,300
It is. Every time he says us something, you and I start laughing and smiling. It's fantastic.

1417
01:24:02,300 --> 01:24:04,300
And he's eaten it up.

1418
01:24:04,300 --> 01:24:08,300
And I don't even know if he's for real. He could be just...

1419
01:24:08,300 --> 01:24:13,300
I still have a feeling that he's a friend of ours that's fucking with us.

1420
01:24:13,300 --> 01:24:19,300
I still think that. Yeah, but evidently he got Jeffy's attention.

1421
01:24:19,300 --> 01:24:23,300
Oh, Jeffy didn't like him at all. Jeffy's like, you know what? Oh, yeah.

1422
01:24:23,300 --> 01:24:27,300
He said, you don't bash my boys. He said, you bash my boys and that's it. You're done.

1423
01:24:27,300 --> 01:24:32,300
So, Jeffy... Love you, Jeffy. Love you, Jeffy. Hang in there, man.

1424
01:24:32,300 --> 01:24:36,300
Alrighty. Well, Rob, do you have anything you want to add to this said podcast?

1425
01:24:36,300 --> 01:24:40,300
Or do we want to go into the sunset with that?

1426
01:24:40,300 --> 01:24:46,300
Let's go into the sunset with that. Seeing how this was an extra episode.

1427
01:24:46,300 --> 01:24:49,300
Yes, it was.

1428
01:24:49,300 --> 01:24:52,300
Hi, Opal. Hi, Jimmy.

1429
01:24:52,300 --> 01:24:58,300
Even though we read your email, I don't think we officially said hi to Opal and Jimmy, did we?

1430
01:24:58,300 --> 01:25:02,300
Oh, yes. Love you, grandma. Love you, Jimmy.

1431
01:25:02,300 --> 01:25:06,300
Love you both, man. And thanks for the email. Thanks for letting me know you guys are okay.

1432
01:25:06,300 --> 01:25:09,300
And we hope it rains there, but no big storms.

1433
01:25:09,300 --> 01:25:15,300
So, anyhow, everybody, thank you assholes for listening. Have a good night.

1434
01:25:15,300 --> 01:25:17,300
Good night, assholes.

1435
01:25:17,300 --> 01:25:20,300
Oh, no. Looks like the show's over, kids.

1436
01:25:20,300 --> 01:25:25,300
Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic.

1437
01:25:25,300 --> 01:25:29,300
Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.