1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Live from the historic river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the crystal blue 2 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:21,000 waters of the Missouri River, it's two douchebags and a microphone podcast. 3 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:33,000 And now it's time for the Daily Douchebag Pledge. 4 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:41,000 Two douchebags and a microphone pledge. I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to download every show. 5 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:48,000 I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to grab family members phones and download the show from there. 6 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:55,000 I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to go to public computers and download the show from there. 7 00:00:55,000 --> 00:01:01,000 I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to laugh at all the unfunny jokes. 8 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:08,000 I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to lie to all my friends and tell them how good the show is. 9 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:16,000 And finally, I, Joe, or Jane listener promise to visit Montrose, Missouri to take advantage of the power plant, 10 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:24,000 campgrounds, and junkyard all within its quarter mile radius. 11 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:29,000 Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we don't stand behind our journalistic integrity. 12 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:34,000 Go ahead and assume we got the story wrong. At least we admit it. 13 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:40,000 Not like all those other guys, we can and will lie if it makes the story better. 14 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:46,000 Two Douchebags and a Microphone. 15 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:50,000 We Talk. 16 00:01:50,000 --> 00:02:12,000 Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarious. 17 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:24,000 You have the personality of a soggy newspaper. 18 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:32,000 Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark. I should have never taught that damn dog how to read. 19 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:37,000 Next time you take a dump, listen to Two Douchebags and a Microphone. 20 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:47,000 It's been proven in laboratory rats to relax your anal canal. Get in cover. 21 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:51,000 This is a voice guide from your favorite podcast, Two Douchebags and a Microphone. 22 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:57,000 People often ask us how they can find us when doing a remote broadcast. One, smell. 23 00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:03,000 Go to the city market and start sniffing. Our aroma has been described as a mixture of flea powder for goats, 24 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:11,000 Tabasco sauce and old sock with dark fuzzy urine. Two, look for the spot absent of patrons. 25 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:17,000 Three, the most telling sign is a crowd of patrons vomiting uncontrollably. 26 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:23,000 Four, just call us at 816-512-7717. 27 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:36,000 Hi everybody, this is Two Douchebags and Microphone. I'm Mark and I am Rob. 28 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:47,000 Thanks for joining us tonight. So here we are broadcasting the day after Easter, the second day after Easter, Easter Sunday. 29 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:57,000 Easter Sunday we didn't get a chance to do a podcast like we wanted to because Rob had his family over, 30 00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:02,000 which was excellent. He got to see his grandson and his daughter and everything, which is great. 31 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,000 Family first, that's for sure. 32 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:11,000 My daughter ended up working during the day because she got called in, so they came over later in the day. 33 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:16,000 It threw me too late. Sorry about that everybody. 34 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:19,000 Yeah, you know what, I'm sure they already forgot about it. 35 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:24,000 Actually they didn't even know because as soon as I released this... 36 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,000 Oh yeah, good point, good point. 37 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:31,000 Yeah, they don't even know. They're just thinking I'm dragging my feet on the Easter one. 38 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:36,000 They're like, damn, when's he going to get that out? Ha ha, not gonna. 39 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:43,000 So I just throw a bunch of shit together, old shit together and then just put that out like a new one. 40 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:50,000 So anyhow, made it through April Fool's without anyone playing a gag on me. I was kind of disappointed. 41 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,000 Yeah. 42 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:57,000 Yeah, I was like what the hell. I would always at least get one. 43 00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:05,000 Someone would play one on me, April Fool's, uh huh. And I'm like, okay, all right, got me. Not one. 44 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:10,000 Is it by age bracket they look at him and go, oh, he's not going to appreciate it. 45 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,000 Heck, they don't know you that well. 46 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:19,000 Yeah, exactly. That old bastard, he ain't going to want to know. Oh no, he don't want a trick played on him. 47 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:22,000 I'm like, fuck yeah, play a trick on me. 48 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:29,000 Come on, man. You have a podcast called Two Douchebags and a Microphone. I wouldn't want a trick played on me. 49 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:32,000 How seriously can you take me, right? 50 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:40,000 I always remember an old trick we used to play at Justin Jim's or wherever we were. 51 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:46,000 And it was the trick of making someone think they look like someone they don't. 52 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,000 Oh, yeah. 53 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:53,000 Yeah. We'd have three unrelated people walk up to the chosen person that we chose. 54 00:05:53,000 --> 00:06:04,000 And like, let me think here, like one guy, I forgot who it was. Chuck maybe? Skinny guy? Did dishes? 55 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:09,000 Yeah, it may have been Chuck. It may have been Chuck. Yeah, I remember this one. 56 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:15,000 We decided we're going to screw with him saying he looked like Dan Deardorff. 57 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:21,000 And we had like four people say that to him, but it was over a course of like two weeks. 58 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:25,000 And he didn't think anything was up. He was just looking in the mirror. 59 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:30,000 I'm like, man, what the fuck? I don't think I looked anything like him. And he didn't. 60 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:34,000 But I just remember that little bit ago, man. We used to screw with everybody like that. 61 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:37,000 Remember our boss Jim? Who did I say he looked like? 62 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,000 Oh, God. 63 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,000 Oh, shit. 64 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,000 We screwed with Jim hard. 65 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:45,000 Oh, yeah. I can't remember who I said he looked like. 66 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:48,000 May he rest in peace. May he rest in peace. 67 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,000 Did he die? 68 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,000 Yeah, he died of a heart attack a long time ago, man. 69 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:55,000 Oh, shit. I had no idea. 70 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:59,000 Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was like 20-some years ago. 71 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,000 Wow. 72 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,000 It was like in the 90s, I think. 73 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:10,000 Oh. Wow. Well, I didn't know. Well, rest in peace, Jim. Rest in peace. 74 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:13,000 Yeah, my grandmom and grandpa were the ones who told me about it. 75 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:21,000 Okay. Wow. Well, that's too bad. I knew he was in like a wheelchair or something. 76 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:26,000 He was like too heavy. He couldn't walk anymore or something is what someone said. 77 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,000 I heard he had a heart attack years ago. 78 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:32,000 Okay. He probably did. Well, okay. 79 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,000 Yeah. 80 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:37,000 Yeah. Well, rest in peace, Jim. I had no idea. Thanks for letting me know. 81 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,000 Hey, I found out on the podcast. 82 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,000 Yeah. 83 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:45,000 So my Easter was cool. I mean, there's a couple things. 84 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,000 Well, it's good. 85 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:49,000 We opted to get Italian food and our favorite for... 86 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,000 Oh. 87 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,000 Oh, go ahead. What? 88 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,000 Oh, I just said, oh. 89 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:59,000 Oh, okay. Our favorite for Italian is Anthony's on Grand. Do you ever go there, Rob? 90 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,000 When you're in town? 91 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,000 No. 92 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,000 Huh? 93 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,000 No. 94 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:09,000 Oh, no? This is a great place. It's not crazy expensive either. It's a really good place. They've been there a long, long time. 95 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:16,000 Matter of fact, they've been there so long. I mean, they have a picture of Frank Sinatra when he was in there. 96 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,000 Oh, wow. 97 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:25,000 Yeah. Yeah. They have an old cigarette machine in that thing that still works. It's like from the 50s. It's really cool. 98 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,000 Wow. 99 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:37,000 And you see where like they put a different logo over like the old Winston pack and then like the old Viceroy pack and Lucky Strike. 100 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,000 You know, stuff that they sold back then. 101 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,000 Yeah. Yeah. 102 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:45,000 Yeah. And you can see where they put a different sticker over that slot and stuff. It's pretty cool. 103 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:52,000 It's like going back in time in that restaurant. I mean, it's been remodeled, but it's been kept looking the same, which is really cool. 104 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:58,000 People like me enjoy that. You know, it's just the nostalgia, the going back, the remembering it, you know. 105 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:07,000 So, so anyhow, you know, we went to Anthony's on Grand and we're thinking Italian. No one on Easter is going to eat Italian, right? 106 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:11,000 Except Italians. 107 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:17,000 Well, yeah, yeah. I'm pretty sure I didn't. I didn't ask him, but I'm pretty sure there's a few of them in there. 108 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:25,000 So I've forgotten on Sundays, Anthony's has a fried chicken special, but only on Sundays. 109 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:29,000 So fried chicken goes very well with the Easter, right? 110 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,000 Yeah, it does. 111 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:34,000 The place was packed and everybody was ordering fried chicken. 112 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:38,000 And I've forgotten all about that. I hadn't been there in a while, but yeah, Sunday is fried chicken day. 113 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:44,000 And it's some it's it's something they've been doing for a long time. 114 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:49,000 It's their mother's recipe and it's really, really good chicken. It's fantastic chicken. 115 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:55,000 And anyhow, I opted not to get it this time. Normally I do and I get a side of pasta that way I get some pasta. 116 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:59,000 But this time I want some eggplant parmesan and it was just off the hook, dude. 117 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:03,000 Stuff is so good. You know, when you come up, we'll have to go there. 118 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,000 OK, all right. Yeah. 119 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:10,000 The Italian place I used to go to was Jenny's. 120 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:14,000 Jenny's. Is that the one downtown? 121 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:19,000 That was downtown? Down by the river. 122 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:22,000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jenny's, yeah. 123 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:25,000 Yeah. Oh, wow. That was a good place, dude. I remember that place. 124 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:31,000 Oh, dude, I love that place. Yeah, it didn't look like much, but it was a fantastic place to eat. 125 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:35,000 Oh, but you walked in indoors, you'd see a lot of big man people. 126 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,000 Yes, I know. I know. It was a... 127 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:40,000 There and feed. Yeah. I always seen football players there. 128 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:45,000 It seemed like a lot of the Kansas City Chiefs at that time like to go there. 129 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,000 Let's see. Yeah, that was a fantastic place. 130 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:53,000 Yeah, a lot of people. It was actually in Columbus Park. 131 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,000 Is where that was at. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 132 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,000 Yeah, that's the name of that district. 133 00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:01,000 And Columbus Park used to be the heavily Italian influence area. 134 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:08,000 The same way I where I grew up at in Northeast Kansas City was a heavily Italian influence area, you know. 135 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:12,000 Back then, that's what the Greeks did. They had to go with the Italians. 136 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:16,000 It's like, hey, who are you? Oh, you got to go live with the Italians, guys. Sorry. 137 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:20,000 No, it was cool, though. I got along with them all. They're cool people to me. 138 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:29,000 So, anyhow, so, you know, when I called down to Anthony's, the chick, I thought the chick was crazy for having me make reservations. 139 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,000 I was just calling to see if they were open. And she goes, are you coming in today? 140 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,000 I'm like, yeah, she goes, you better make the reservation. 141 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:39,000 I'm like, they can what? There's no way they're fucking busy. So I said, OK, how about five? 142 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:48,000 OK, so anyhow, you know, people may not want Italian food for Easter, but they damn sure want fried chicken, right? 143 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:56,000 So anyhow, this place was packed. So anyhow, we we get in there and there are so many people. 144 00:11:56,000 --> 00:12:00,000 I mean, it was really hard for anyone to really keep up with anybody because it was so packed. 145 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:08,000 There's people everywhere. And, you know, as happily we got reservations, you know, places packed and the wait staff was very busy. 146 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:21,000 So I remember to do this age old trick, Rob. Stuff your mouth, stuff your mouth full of bread and a waiter will magically appear and ask you what you want to eat. 147 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:24,000 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes. 148 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:30,000 So I crammed my mouth full of bread and also now nowhere. Here comes a waiter. 149 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:35,000 So what would you like to start off with? Rob? Rob? Rob? 150 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:42,000 I'm going to take a good name and I'm sure I look like a complete slob. 151 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:49,000 And a size of those those fried cheese things like, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 152 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:58,000 Anyhow, it's funny, but every time I put a piece of bread in my mouth or anything, the waiter appeared and it's like there was just something about it. 153 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:03,000 And so in there, Rob, it's like it's almost like they have this spidey sense. 154 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:08,000 Hey, that guy's got a mouth full of food. I better go ask him what he wants. 155 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:13,000 Hey, did you have green kids with you? No, no, we did not. 156 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:17,000 Oh, you did. Oh, OK. Then yeah, you look like yes. 157 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:20,000 Yes. Yes. Yeah. 158 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:25,000 I look like they take it every time. I look like a glutton. 159 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:31,000 I look like I know I did. And what I was talking about, I spit out little pieces of bread. 160 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:38,000 I admit it. And you can see the guy kind of like standing back like, oh, shit, this guy's talking with his mouth full. 161 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:42,000 Fuck. And little pieces of food are spraying everywhere. 162 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:49,000 And anyhow, I'm like, you know what? I don't give a shit. I'm going to order. Well, you won't be talking if the table is talking to you. 163 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:57,000 So anyhow, it worked though. It worked. Stubbed my mouth with the bread. Bam. Guy was there. 164 00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:05,000 But anyhow, I mean, you had a good meal. You were good. Yeah, exactly, man. I went away full and it was a great it was a great time. 165 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:08,000 But I mean, anyhow, not dog and ant these. They always have. 166 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:14,000 And when we go though, you'll see it. I mean, their wait staff is just so professional and on spot. 167 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:21,000 I mean, I've never been to a place that they were so so well trained. 168 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:26,000 And so I guess tunnel vision on what they're doing. They're so good at it. 169 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:35,000 And Anthony's is just unreal. You know, they just come up and they're like really smooth and fast and they and they and they get your order to you really quick. 170 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:39,000 And they're just something else. I mean, our salads were out there in like no time. 171 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:47,000 As soon as, you know, we put in our order and an appetizer or salads were like out there like two minutes because the waiter was on it. 172 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:51,000 Usually like salads that let sit for a while and they take the hot food out. Right. 173 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:56,000 Especially that them being so busy, man, not these guys. 174 00:14:56,000 --> 00:15:00,000 These guys don't let a salad sit for over one minute. It's on your it's on your table. 175 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:05,000 So anyhow, kudos to Anthony's. You guys are always been great. 176 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:12,000 And I'll always keep coming to you guys because not only is the food fantastic, but and they're not paying me anything to say this. 177 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:20,000 They probably don't even know I do this podcast. But I mean, if you're in Kansas City and not tried Anthony's, Anthony's on grand. 178 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:26,000 Go there. Great place. Love it. I mean, not just the atmosphere and everything. Yeah, you will when you come up. 179 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:32,000 So, yeah, yeah, I love the time, too. That's what my favorite. Oh, then you'll love this place. 180 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:37,000 They have that they have a really kind of a semi sweet sugo sauce. 181 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:46,000 It's just out of this world, dude. I would I would bet that they use a wooden spoon on it. 182 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:51,000 Because this Italian joint I worked out when I was like 16, 17. 183 00:15:51,000 --> 00:16:01,000 The owner designated me as a spoon guy. And what the spoon guy was was, OK, he he swore. 184 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:07,000 One of the best things you could do for making pasta sauce of any kind was you have to use a wooden spoon. 185 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,000 He said it adds a flavor that you can't get. 186 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:14,000 The metal spoon gives it kind of a bitterness that isn't that good. 187 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:22,000 So the health department come in there and said, hey, you can't use this man. This is this material's got too many pores in it. 188 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:25,000 I mean, the sauce is hot. So there's no bacteria in it. Right. 189 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:31,000 But anyhow, you know, you know, the health department's in there telling them you can't use a wooden spoon anymore. 190 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:34,000 So as soon as I left, he goes, fuck this. He goes, hey, Mark. 191 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:42,000 He goes, as soon as the health department comes in, you take the spoon out, you hide it somewhere and you put the metal spoon in it. 192 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:46,000 I designate you as the spoon guy. I'm like, oh, fuck, man. 193 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:49,000 Damn it. And, you know, it's like 16, 17. 194 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:55,000 I'm like, shit. Now I constantly have one eye over there on the damn spoon while I'm doing something else. 195 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:59,000 Probably going to cut my finger off. But I did it one time. 196 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:02,000 And anyhow, I didn't work there a whole long time. 197 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:05,000 But anyhow, I was the spoon guy. 198 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:11,000 So anyhow, where I was going with that is I think that I think Anthony's might use a wooden spoon. 199 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:14,000 But I don't know because, you know, health department don't like that. 200 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:17,000 But I mean, their sauce is that good. It's wooden spoon tested, I think. 201 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:20,000 So anyhow. All right, Rob. 202 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:23,000 A little bit about yours. The kids, the kid came over. 203 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,000 He had a good time. Yeah. 204 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:31,000 Well, I went nontraditional for dinner myself. Oh, yeah. 205 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:36,000 I made homemade burritos. Oh, that sounds good. 206 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:41,000 Both my kids have been wanting me to make burritos for a while, so I did it. 207 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,000 Cool. Why not? Yeah. 208 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:47,000 Even though I have a ham in my freezer, I didn't take the ham. 209 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,000 Now they want my burritos. 210 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,000 You know what? I would have wanted burritos too. 211 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:56,000 I just I don't like ham like I used to. It's too salty or something. I don't know. 212 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:59,000 I'm just not a fan of it like I used to be. 213 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,000 I am a big pork eater. 214 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:07,000 Well, pork chops and pulled pork are different to me. 215 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,000 I mean, to me, it's just ham that I don't really like the taste. 216 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:15,000 But anyhow. But go ahead. So they wanted burritos. 217 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:22,000 Yeah, yeah. We just took burritos and Easter Bunny left my grandson a couple baskets. 218 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:26,000 Oh, cool. All right. Did he get anything good? 219 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,000 No. I got him a new soccer ball. 220 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:31,000 I've got to be happy with that. All right. 221 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:34,000 We just stuff money in the grandkids' eggs. 222 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:38,000 Yeah, it's easier for us. They'll go get what they want. 223 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:41,000 I didn't do eggs. 224 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:52,000 I bought this one basket that had the soccer ball in it and had some gummy bears and gummy worms and stuff like that in it. 225 00:18:52,000 --> 00:19:00,000 And then I made my own little basket. I bought him a whole bag of the miniature candy bars. 226 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:05,000 Snickers and three musketeers. 227 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:08,000 He screwed big time. 228 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:12,000 Got him a couple of little chocolate bunnies. 229 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,000 Oh, yeah. 230 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:18,000 A little couple of chocolate crosses. 231 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:21,000 Oh, good, good. So you threw a little bit of Jesus in there. That's good. 232 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:22,000 Yeah, I threw them in there. 233 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,000 Okay, that's good. 234 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:26,000 I wanted to hype that boy up for my daughter. 235 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:41,000 That's awesome. Rob, what you just said, I think it's very important that to me, because I'm a Christian and I believe in Jesus Christ as my savior, although I know I have a podcast called Two Douchebags in a Microphone. 236 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,000 Yes, I know this. But I think I can still be a Christian. 237 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,000 We do. 238 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,000 I'm the same way. 239 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:55,000 Yeah, we both are. So I think it's really important to me, maybe not to anyone else, other people or whatever, and to Rob to throw in a little bit. 240 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:59,000 Well, this is what Easter is really about. 241 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:08,000 And then you can have the Easter bunny and all that fun stuff. So yeah, so that's cool. So the kid scored big, it sounds like. 242 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,000 Yeah, he did. 243 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,000 That's good. Cool. 244 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:17,000 And his uncle bought him some stuff, too. Yeah, he scored big. 245 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,000 He made out like a bandit. 246 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,000 This boy is spoiled, I'm telling you. 247 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:24,000 It sounds like it. What's his name? 248 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,000 Michael. 249 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,000 Michael? All right. 250 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,000 Yep, Michael. 251 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:32,000 Good old solid, traditional American name, I guess, right? 252 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,000 Yeah. 253 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,000 All right. Yeah. A lot of Michaels in America. 254 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,000 Yeah, that's my name. 255 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:45,000 Yeah. Oh, that's cool. Good. Good. You know, I used to feel bad eating the heads off those chocolate bunnies. 256 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,000 Did you? 257 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:50,000 Not me. That was the first thing I did. 258 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,000 I don't know, man. 259 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:55,000 I was a mean little bastard, dude. 260 00:20:55,000 --> 00:21:02,000 I kind of felt bad. I was like, man, that was a cute little bunny. I just tore the head off and savvously mangled. 261 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:07,000 But then, you know what? It didn't bother me enough to where I left the rest of it alone. I went in and ate it, right? 262 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:11,000 So I guess it didn't bother me as bad as I thought. 263 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:19,000 Yeah, mine was lucky if I didn't pick up a ham or a bust of that, that way I didn't reach over and pick up a chunk. 264 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:23,000 Yeah, some of them were really hard. I like the ones that work so hard. 265 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,000 The big hollow ones. 266 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,000 Yeah. 267 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:33,000 Yeah, the hollow ones. You could take a hammer and just crack it. It'd shatter everywhere, man. You'd have pieces for a week. 268 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:39,000 Yes. Yes. Oh, I got a question for you, Rob. Did you like the ones with marshmallows in them or not? 269 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:45,000 And the graham cracker crust on the bottom? Or were you a traditional just chocolate? 270 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:50,000 Okay, yeah. Now, yeah, I do like those. 271 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:53,000 I do too, but not as well as the just plain chocolate ones. 272 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:57,000 But I grew up with just the chocolate hollow bunnies. 273 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,000 Me too. 274 00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,000 You know? 275 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,000 Yeah, because that's what they sold at TGNY in Cameru. 276 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:04,000 Which were pure chocolate. 277 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:09,000 And occasionally ventured if we really got crazy and had a little bit of extra money. 278 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:12,000 And then we got our asses beat for getting out of control. 279 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:20,000 Yep. I remember my dad's knuckle on my hand. Man, I still cringe on that one. 280 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,000 Yeah, yeah. 281 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,000 Like the time I left that. 282 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:29,000 I go running through the house. Dad just put his arm out and clothesline me. 283 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:34,000 I think I told you this one before, Rob. But this is like what you're talking about your dad. 284 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:39,000 I was out working on my bicycle ride and I was like, hey, dad, you got a monkey wrench or a crescent wrench? 285 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:43,000 We used to call them monkey wrenches, but they're adjustable wrenches, crescent wrenches. 286 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,000 Yeah? Don't leave it in the fucking yard. 287 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,000 He didn't say fucking no. He didn't test that much. 288 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,000 I'm like, oh, sure. No problem. 289 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:53,000 So what did I do? Left it in the yard. 290 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:57,000 And anyhow, I'm riding home on my bike and all of a sudden I hear the mower going. 291 00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:01,000 I hear a cluck. All of a sudden it flashed back. 292 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:07,000 Oh, shit. Oh, no. Oh, shit. Oh, no. 293 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:11,000 And two lady already see me pull up. 294 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,000 They're like, he didn't say anything. 295 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:18,000 So I start to walk around and go back into the house like, OK, I'm going to go get near mom. 296 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,000 That way he can't murder me. 297 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,000 You know, he might smack me a couple of times. Mom will stop it. 298 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,000 It'll be damage control. 299 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:32,000 Before I get to the house, bam, right on my fucking head with that monkey wrench. 300 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:33,000 What did I tell you? 301 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:42,000 I'm like, oh, yeah, I know. Oh, he was pissed. And then he made me change the blade, which sucked ass. 302 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:47,000 So anyhow, I got a story about my dad. 303 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,000 Oh, yeah. Go ahead. 304 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:56,000 He had it. We had a 76 Mustang Gia II. 305 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,000 Uh huh. 306 00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:00,000 I think it was 76. 307 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:04,000 And the trunk lid wouldn't stay up. 308 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:10,000 So you either had a proper stick or somebody hold it. 309 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:16,000 He had me hold that up for him one day while he had his head in that trunk. 310 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:19,000 Oh, go ahead. 311 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:25,000 Couple of my buddies went walking by talking to me. I forgot what I was doing. 312 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:29,000 I just literally walked away. 313 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,000 Yeah, my buddies were talking. 314 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,000 I started talking and turned around and walked away. 315 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:37,000 I forgot what I was doing. Dad yelled. 316 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:41,000 I didn't come home for four hours, dude. 317 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,000 I didn't. I hid for four hours. 318 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:46,000 I gave you one damn job, you little bastard. 319 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:50,000 Oh, dude, that trunk lid come down on his neck. 320 00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:54,000 Oh, I heard him. I did. 321 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:57,000 I just instantly started running. 322 00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:00,000 Oh my God. 323 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:05,000 If I were to come back, I'd be dead, dude. 324 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:08,000 Fuck, that's awesome, dude. 325 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:11,000 You had to know my dad. 326 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:15,000 I got one about my dad. I just remembered this. You're talking about cars and stuff. 327 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:21,000 There's this pile of hippies, is what I would call them, that were living down the road at this lady's house. 328 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:26,000 She always took in hippies and stuff. I think she was trying to bang them. 329 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,000 She was like... 330 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:29,000 I was. 331 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,000 Yeah, probably was. 332 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:34,000 She'd always have five or six of them stay in there. 333 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:43,000 They had this little hippie van, I think it might have been a VW van, with all this peace and love all over it and everything. 334 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:49,000 Anyhow, they're probably over there inhaling drugs and stuff by the way they acted and everything. 335 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:52,000 At night, they kept running through our yard, right? 336 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:55,000 Leaving these big ruts. 337 00:25:55,000 --> 00:26:00,000 One day, I go in the garage and my dad's pounding some nails in this two-by-four. 338 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:03,000 What you doing? 339 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:08,000 Making some fucking hippies not run through my yard anymore? 340 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,000 Around? 341 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:14,000 He goes, trust me, those fuckers are asleep right now. 342 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,000 Like I said, he didn't cuss that much. He didn't say fuckers. 343 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,000 He said, trust me, they're asleep right now. 344 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:22,000 He went out there and threw a little bit of grass around it and everything. He couldn't see it. 345 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:26,000 He told me and my brother, don't step on it, and my sister too. 346 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:29,000 He told John. 347 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:33,000 He said, that would have been great if he would not have told John. 348 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:41,000 The only reason he told John was he didn't want anyone to know what he did for these fuckers that kept running through his yard. 349 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:44,000 He didn't want his kids hurt either. 350 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:52,000 The next day, we're going somewhere and we're driving by that house and that fucking truck or that van was on blocks. 351 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:55,000 It tore their fucking axle out. 352 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:59,000 Or something like that. It was on blocks. 353 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:03,000 Anyhow, he was driving by and they're all out there giving us mean looks. 354 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:06,000 My dad's like, hey guys, how you doing? 355 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:10,000 They couldn't say anything. If they said anything, they'd admit guilt. 356 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:15,000 They're like, yeah, something happened to your van guys? Wow. 357 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:18,000 Nothing. 358 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,000 We go on. 359 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:24,000 Anyhow, we're late for our first break because we've been yapping. 360 00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:30,000 When we come back, I've got a little story about tipping and how people are getting tired of it. 361 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:32,000 Anyhow, we'll be right back. 362 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:35,000 I have a tribute to give too. 363 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:39,000 We'll go to the tipping and then the tribute. How's that sound? 364 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:40,000 Sounds good. 365 00:27:40,000 --> 00:28:09,000 Alright guys, we'll be right back. 366 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,000 Brick shit house energy drink. 367 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,000 Make men and women girl. 368 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,000 Chow on your balls. 369 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,000 You want to fuck shit up? 370 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,000 Run a full scum across America? 371 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:22,000 Brick shit house is for you. 372 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:25,000 Please enjoy brick shit house energy drink responsibly. 373 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:30,000 It's not readily available anywhere because of liability issues. 374 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:33,000 The evapolips just happened. 375 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,000 You don't know what to do. 376 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:37,000 You don't know where to go. 377 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:40,000 You don't know where to go. 378 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:48,000 Curly dock, also known as yellow dock, can be eaten raw or cooked, although it contains high levels of oxalic acid, 379 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:55,000 which inhibits the body's ability to absorb calcium and forms kidney stones, so it's best eaten in moderation. 380 00:28:55,000 --> 00:29:01,000 Use only the smaller, younger leaves, as bigger leaves tend to be bitter and tough and contain more oxalic acid. 381 00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:07,000 Curly dock can be eaten in salad soups and as a cooked green. 382 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:12,000 Two douchebags and a microphone remind you that you'll never get this hour back. 383 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,000 Sorry about your luck. 384 00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:17,000 Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. 385 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:20,000 It's strange insults from an alien. 386 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,000 Real hilarity. 387 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:26,000 Mate, you always choose the slowest cue. 388 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:29,000 All aware of the amber alert, right? 389 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:32,000 Well, get rid of your disinfectants and rubber bedspreads, kids. 390 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:35,000 It's the all-new Amber Heard Alert System. 391 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:41,000 This fantastic early warning device helps one stay dry and rid of all those annoying mattress invoices. 392 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:46,000 Simply hook up to child under six or psychopath and wait for the running water sound. 393 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:49,000 This clever machine has three distinct settings. 394 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:53,000 Bablin Brooks, ocean waves, and roaring river for those close called. 395 00:29:53,000 --> 00:30:01,000 Order today and get a free Cinnabon Renews It Cartridge. 396 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:04,000 Oh shit, what's that over there? 397 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:09,000 Oh no, it's the island of horrible jokes. 398 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:18,000 A ship-tiling red paint and a ship-tiling blue paint collide. 399 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:21,000 They were all moored. 400 00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:24,000 Ha ha ha ha ha ha. 401 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:29,000 Roar. 402 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:36,000 Roar. 403 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,000 Douchebags and a microphone. 404 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:39,000 I'm Mark. 405 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:41,000 I'm Rob. 406 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:45,000 Alright, well Rob, like I said previous to us taking the break. 407 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:46,000 Yeah. 408 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:51,000 You know, everybody has tipping on their website now, right? 409 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:58,000 It used to be you could order something to go to not have to pay like 20% just to go sit down and eat, right? 410 00:30:58,000 --> 00:30:59,000 Right, right. 411 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:04,000 The thing is, is I mean, you know, these people, if they would pay them a little bit better, 412 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:08,000 wouldn't have to like pretty much, you know, demand money from us. 413 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:11,000 And I tip, don't get me wrong, I tip. 414 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:14,000 But it's getting a little out of control because ever since COVID, 415 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:19,000 they started putting on their website additional gratuity or tip or whatever. 416 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:23,000 So this is people that don't have anything to do with you really, 417 00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:27,000 are getting money from you for really no reason. 418 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,000 You know, it's like if I go to Jack's stack. 419 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,000 Oh, go ahead. 420 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:34,000 No, I would just say, yeah, I see what you mean. 421 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:38,000 Because you're giving most of your money to the restaurant at the beginning. 422 00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,000 Yes, and then you got to add 20%. 423 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,000 To pay their wages, you know. 424 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:46,000 Yeah, yeah. So like I used to give money to the food runner 425 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:49,000 because Jack's stack has a pretty elaborate system. 426 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,000 We ordered it a few days back. 427 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:59,000 And if it's to go, what they do is they have a to go section and then you drive up 428 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:00,000 and they run out and go, what's your name? 429 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:03,000 And you tell them your name, then they go grab your food and bring it to you. 430 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:06,000 I'll leave them like a five, right? Because they ran food out to me. 431 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:07,000 Right. 432 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:13,000 But I'm not going to give 20% to people that it really had nothing to do with me. 433 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:17,000 You know, the kitchen help, they pay better because they don't get tips. 434 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:21,000 And so people are getting tired of everything having a tip to it, you know. 435 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:26,000 So anyhow, I'm going to go to this poll now and I agree with them. 436 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:30,000 75% of people poll thinks that tipping is out of control. 437 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:35,000 80% of people say it's time to stop all the excessive tipping. 438 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:39,000 You know, how long until the bagger at your grocery store will expect tips? 439 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:42,000 Right? You know, they do. They do stuff it for you. 440 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:45,000 Yeah. 441 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:50,000 How long, you know, how long will it be before the cashier has a little tip jar? 442 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,000 Right? 443 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:55,000 Think of all the stuff that they could tip for. 444 00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:59,000 You know, they could put a little jar there and go, hey, you know, we don't make that much money. 445 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,000 Be, be generous. 446 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:06,000 So, you know, I could imagine all this stuff going. 447 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:10,000 So anyhow, Jeffy X, he was on this, right? 448 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:13,000 Okay. Well, can I add a little something here? 449 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,000 Yeah, yeah, absolutely. 450 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:21,000 Okay. Well, like I said, my daughter delivers pizzas. 451 00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:22,000 Yes. 452 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:27,000 I firmly believe in tipping your delivery drivers. 453 00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,000 Absolutely. 100%. 454 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,000 You better. You better. 455 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,000 We're not talking about them. 456 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:37,000 She just told me that my neighbor upstairs never tips. 457 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:38,000 Wow. 458 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,000 You know. 459 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:43,000 Okay. Well, that makes me want to beat on your floor. 460 00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:44,000 You know. 461 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,000 But I don't. 462 00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:50,000 No, I agree with that. That's different because they're personally taking you something. 463 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:54,000 You know, and they're handling it with care and everything. They deserve a tip. 464 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:59,000 But this stuff of like on every website, it's like additional gratuity. 465 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,000 And then it's like set at 20%. 466 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:03,000 It's like, fuck you. I'm not giving 20%. 467 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,000 You know, already just spent like. 468 00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:07,000 Yeah, it used to be 15. 469 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:11,000 Yeah. And I mean, this is people that have nothing to do with your order. 470 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:14,000 Some of them do, but they're paid a wage to do it and they agreed to it. 471 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:19,000 Right. So anyhow, Jeffy X was on this, right? 472 00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:27,000 And he uncovered a bunch of things, a bunch of different types of services that were going to tip. 473 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:31,000 But they did some focus panels and they decided not to do them. 474 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:33,000 Right. So. 475 00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:34,000 All right. 476 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,000 I'm going to like this one, buddy. 477 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:39,000 Our boy Jeffy X is on it, man. And Jeffy X. 478 00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:40,000 Yeah, he is. I like this one. 479 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,000 Oh, he's always uncovering something. 480 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:43,000 Jeffy X is the man. 481 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:48,000 So anyhow, you made him a flying bat suit. 482 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:49,000 Yeah. 483 00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:54,000 Sergeant Pepper outfit that he will not take off for nothing because he's a huge Beatles fan. 484 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,000 As a token of our gratitude. 485 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:57,000 It's black now, dude. 486 00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:58,000 I know. 487 00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:00,000 He took me a picture of the other day. It's black. 488 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,000 He still is wearing it everywhere. 489 00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:09,000 And he puts the flying bat suit at night over it because he refuses to take that off. 490 00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:12,000 I can only imagine what he smells like. 491 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:19,000 So and even when he goes incognito in these places to uncover these things, these deals for us, 492 00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:23,000 he puts clothing over it, but he still wears a Sergeant Pepper outfit. 493 00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:24,000 I mean, yeah. 494 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:31,000 And then, of course, you made him embroidered underwear with a Jeffy on the back and a huge X on the front. 495 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:39,000 And you did these special Steven Pearcy pouch of the glam band rat that supposedly back in the day 496 00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:42,000 had a pouch sewed into the front of the underwear. 497 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:50,000 So you could stuff it will and make it look appeasing to whoever, you know, whether it be women, gay males or whatever. 498 00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:54,000 So, you know, so but we're sure Jeffy don't need that. 499 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:57,000 And me, I'm a much more simpler guy. 500 00:35:57,000 --> 00:36:03,000 I just gave him the monetary equivalent to buy 80 hookers and five pounds of blood. 501 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:12,000 So, you know, he could either pay up a credit card or, you know, buy some hookers and blow or, I don't know, go on a binge, whatever, whatever he wants to do with that. 502 00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:17,000 So anyhow, and we're going to owe him more because he's uncovered so much stuff for us. 503 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:18,000 Oh, my God. 504 00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:21,000 Yeah, that's just been since Christmas. 505 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:22,000 Yeah, he's been on it, man. 506 00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:28,000 Jeffy, actually, I don't know how he gets into these places and uncovers this stuff. 507 00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:30,000 He's just he's so good at it. 508 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:36,000 So I'm going to have to buy him a new boat or some shit this year. 509 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,000 Who knows? 510 00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:38,000 I know. 511 00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,000 Yeah, I'm thinking about buying him a new car, man. 512 00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,000 I mean, the guy is just he's on it. 513 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:51,000 So here are some things that Jeffy X uncovered that they're going to tip put out tip jars or ask for tips, but it got denied. 514 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,000 You know, they did some focus panels. 515 00:36:53,000 --> 00:37:00,000 So the first one, the front desk at your doctor's office is a failure. 516 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:07,000 People said, no, I'm not going to give money to people that I'm going to go around the corner and someone's going to put their finger up my ass. 517 00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:10,000 OK, yeah, no, I got to agree with that. 518 00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:11,000 Yeah, yeah. 519 00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,000 I mean, you're already getting tortured. 520 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:16,000 I definitely would not have tipped that dude that day. 521 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:17,000 Yeah, yeah. 522 00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:18,000 It's like, no, thank you. 523 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:20,000 I'm getting ready to get a finger put up my ass. 524 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:23,000 Do I look like I feel like giving you 10 bucks? 525 00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:25,000 So, yeah, that got denied. 526 00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:29,000 So and I couldn't agree with them more. 527 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:39,000 The custodian at the department store was wanting to set up a tip jar, but the focus panel said no, luckily. 528 00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:46,000 So you know, the guy, let the guy set up a tip jar. 529 00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:48,000 Let him have a tip jar. 530 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:53,000 Yeah, you know what, Rob, I got to disagree with this. 531 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:54,000 You know what, you're right. 532 00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:57,000 If we should shoot anybody money, it should be him. 533 00:37:57,000 --> 00:38:00,000 Yeah, he's doing all the nasty shit. 534 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,000 Yeah, that's right. 535 00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:05,000 I mean, and all the times I take a dump in the corner for the hell of it, he cleans that up. 536 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:07,000 Especially since COVID. 537 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,000 Now everybody's germaphobes. 538 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,000 Oh, yeah. 539 00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:11,000 But these people. 540 00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:18,000 What kills me is the people who wear a mask in their car and they're by themselves or they're outside and they're wearing a mask. 541 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:19,000 I'm like, what? 542 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:20,000 Are they still doing that? 543 00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:22,000 Yeah, they're still doing that. 544 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:27,000 I mean, I don't see anybody wear a mask down here. 545 00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:33,000 Well, you know what, down there is a completely different culture than the city. 546 00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:34,000 We know this. 547 00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:37,000 OK, and they're more of the freedom people. 548 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:44,000 And they're like, you know what, they're not necessarily scared of the virus and they don't necessarily really give a shit what anybody else thinks. 549 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:47,000 So OK, now don't get me wrong. 550 00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:49,000 Don't get me wrong on that. 551 00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:50,000 No, go ahead. 552 00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:58,000 I have noticed a lot more people when they're sick will put on a mask when they have to go around people. 553 00:38:58,000 --> 00:38:59,000 No, I've seen that too. 554 00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:00,000 And I agree with that, man. 555 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:01,000 That's common courtesy. 556 00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:03,000 I don't want to give you my gun. 557 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:08,000 We don't wear a mask just to go out in public. 558 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:11,000 No, and we still have people that do that here. 559 00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:14,000 We still have people in their car by themselves with a mask on. 560 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:17,000 And we still have people outside with a mask on. 561 00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:19,000 Oh my God. 562 00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:20,000 It's a good amount of people, too. 563 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:23,000 I mean, it's enough to make me go, what the fuck? 564 00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:27,000 So OK. 565 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:37,000 OK, the next Paul Bearers was going to have a tip jar on top of the coffin, but it was denied by the focus panel. 566 00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:40,000 I mean, they're doing a good service, right? 567 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:45,000 No, no, no, no, no. 568 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:47,000 They're family members. 569 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:50,000 Yeah, but you go get paid all your own damn family. 570 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:54,000 They're carrying dear old Uncle Jimmy to his final resting place. 571 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:58,000 No, no, no, that's just wrong. 572 00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:00,000 OK, I guess you're right. 573 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:03,000 They should do it out of love for Uncle Jimmy. 574 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,000 That's immoral of Helmar. 575 00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:07,000 Come on, he runs too fast. 576 00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,000 Hey, hey, I didn't come up with these. 577 00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,000 Jeffy X uncovered them. 578 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:18,000 Now, if somebody wanted to slip me a five on the side, yeah, but we're not setting up no damn tip jar. 579 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:19,000 OK, all right. 580 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:22,000 Rob, you're right. 581 00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:29,000 Next one, the gynecologist's office wanted to start putting a tip jar out, but women said no. 582 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:34,000 And the same reason men don't do it, because they're getting a finger up their ass. 583 00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:38,000 They didn't really feel like tipping after that or before. 584 00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:42,000 Yeah, I'm not sure. 585 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,000 You know what? We can move right along on that. 586 00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:47,000 Yeah, move on, move on, move on, please. 587 00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:53,000 Online billpay for utilities, they wanted a separate tip section. 588 00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:56,000 Yeah, people said they didn't have any money left. 589 00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:58,000 They had to get off their ass, leave them alone. 590 00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:02,000 I think I would have to agree with that, right? 591 00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:08,000 I think 100 percent, the world, not just America, the world would agree with that. 592 00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,000 I think so. 593 00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:15,000 The next one, the gorilla hut at your local zoo was going to have a tip jar. 594 00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:18,000 But people said, you know what, they already feed the apes. 595 00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:20,000 They already give them land to run on. 596 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:23,000 They already give them everything they need, so they don't need tips. 597 00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:27,000 And besides that, gorillas can't walk into a 7-Eleven and buy a big gulp. 598 00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:29,000 So I think I agree with them, right? 599 00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:32,000 No, no, no, no. 600 00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:34,000 I disagree, I disagree. 601 00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:38,000 Oh, OK, go ahead. 602 00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:41,000 You better be giving them damn gorillas some tips. 603 00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:44,000 Yeah, they'll smash the window out and fucking throttle you. 604 00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:47,000 Have you ever watched Planet of the Apes? 605 00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:49,000 Oh, you're right. 606 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:54,000 They end up taking over, yeah, tip them damn apes. 607 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:55,000 You know what, you're right. 608 00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:57,000 Everybody tip the apes. Keep them happy. 609 00:41:57,000 --> 00:42:01,000 We don't want this shit happening again. 610 00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:03,000 So you're right, Rob. 611 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:08,000 The next one, the car repo guy was hoping for a few extra bucks. 612 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:12,000 You know, he said people are already chasing him down the road. 613 00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:15,000 They shoot at him, they scream at him, they throw feces at him. 614 00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:19,000 He said, how about shoot me a couple of bucks when I repo your car? 615 00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:22,000 Well, that didn't go over too well, Rob. 616 00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:24,000 It didn't go over too well. 617 00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:27,000 People said the big F no. 618 00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:29,000 F no. 619 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:32,000 You come by, take my car from me, and then you want another five? 620 00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:34,000 No. 621 00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:40,000 OK, I've watched a few car repo shows on TV. 622 00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:43,000 Oh my God. 623 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:46,000 I'll just say, like, Operation Repo. 624 00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:48,000 I love that one. 625 00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:49,000 I'll just say it. 626 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:54,000 I could see them guys actually asking for a tip. 627 00:42:54,000 --> 00:43:00,000 I saw one taking a Tesla away, a repo guy. 628 00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:03,000 And it has an alarm that you cannot shut off. 629 00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:05,000 And that thing was on his flatbed. 630 00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:08,000 What? 631 00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:11,000 And the guy comes running out, hey, that's my fucking car. 632 00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:15,000 And someone looked at him and said, it was your fucking car. 633 00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:19,000 Oh, he was pissed. 634 00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:22,000 Yeah, Tesla goes nuts when you try to take it. 635 00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:26,000 Because he couldn't get in it because, you know, the Teslas are like high security. 636 00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:28,000 He could not get in it. 637 00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:32,000 All he could do was take his flatbed, put it under, and then figure out a way. 638 00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:35,000 I don't know how he got it to go up on the... 639 00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:40,000 But anyhow, he had the flatbed and he had the Tesla on it. 640 00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:43,000 And, you know, it was all ready to go and he was starting to leave. 641 00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:45,000 But this thing was going nutso and it would not stop. 642 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,000 And he couldn't stop it. 643 00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:50,000 So he had to drive it all the way to wherever the tow lot with that thing going nutso. 644 00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:55,000 And I imagine it probably went nutso until the battery ran out. 645 00:43:55,000 --> 00:44:03,000 I cracked my stereo so I wouldn't have to hear it. 646 00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,000 Yeah, I'm sure he did. 647 00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:06,000 I'm sure he did. 648 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:10,000 If I had a tow truck, I'd have towed the stereo. 649 00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:13,000 I'd be spending a lot of time in that thing. 650 00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:17,000 I would too. I think that would be necessity. 651 00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,000 Yeah, yeah. 652 00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:24,000 The next one, road workers were wanting a tipping system. 653 00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:27,000 But that was declined because people are always pissed off because, you know, 654 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:30,000 they're always doing road work at an inappropriate time. 655 00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:35,000 And they're in your way and it's one lane during rush hour and you've got to go five mile an hour. 656 00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:37,000 So nobody felt like tipping. 657 00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:42,000 And I think I get it, you know, right? 658 00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:47,000 Well, I see where they come up with that. 659 00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:55,000 And it's either opportunity time because you're going by in a real creep as you go and buy them. 660 00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:59,000 So you've got time to reach your hand out and drop some money in the jar. 661 00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:04,000 So you think even though if it's like change in your top holder. 662 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:07,000 Well, I just don't know if it'd do work. 663 00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:13,000 No, honestly, truthfully, I believe they deserve a tip. 664 00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:15,000 You know what? Those guys do really hard work, right? 665 00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:19,000 Just for putting their lives in danger for just being on that. 666 00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:24,000 Yeah, like those pro bastards over there in Baltimore that were doing night work on the bridge. 667 00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:25,000 Yeah. 668 00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:26,000 Yeah. 669 00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:30,000 Just stay up back here. No bullshit. 670 00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:36,000 Yeah, the Francis Scott Key Bridge when it was ran into by that shipping boat. 671 00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:41,000 Those guys were on there working on the bridge and I think all of them perished. 672 00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:42,000 So yeah. 673 00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:43,000 Right. 674 00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:46,000 It'd been nice to throw them like a five or 10 ahead of time. 675 00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:50,000 That way, you know, their family had some extra, you know. 676 00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:56,000 And those highway workers around the country killed daily. 677 00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:59,000 All the time. It has become one of the most dangerous. 678 00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:00,000 Killed daily. 679 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:03,000 It's one of the most dangerous professions anywhere. 680 00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:06,000 And that's because simply because people are stupid. 681 00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:12,000 And I'll go into a story about my phone that I found interesting along the same lines. 682 00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:17,000 After your tribute, okay? Remind me, phone story. 683 00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:21,000 Yeah, we're gonna finish up with Jeffy first. He's probably getting pissed by now. 684 00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:24,000 We're having one of those nights where we're like not getting anything done. 685 00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:26,000 It's awesome. 686 00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:27,000 Okay. 687 00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:34,000 Slot machine attendance was wanting to place on the actual, you know, where the actual numbers come up. 688 00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:36,000 They wanted a tipping place. 689 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:40,000 But that was declined because people simply said, I'm gonna lose all my money. 690 00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:41,000 Do you fucks anyhow? 691 00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:43,000 So no. 692 00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:45,000 No, you're not getting any extra money. 693 00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:48,000 So that was declined. And I think they have to agree with him. 694 00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:51,000 What did they do? They don't even bring you your drinks. 695 00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:54,000 No, I would tip the waitress to bring me my drinks. 696 00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:56,000 No, I agree with that. 697 00:46:56,000 --> 00:47:00,000 Yeah, yeah. You'd go over there and fool those machines and leave me out of it. 698 00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:02,000 You're not getting dicked from me. 699 00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:05,000 Now if you bring me my drink, then it's my business, right? 700 00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:10,000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You definitely tip your server, you know. 701 00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:16,000 Yeah. The next ones, the Royal Palace Guards, they had a tip jar out for one day, 702 00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:20,000 but they kept getting chewed gum and condom wrappers in it, so they stopped. 703 00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:27,000 So I think I agree. Yeah, yeah, I agree with that. 704 00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:29,000 But you know what? I think those guys... 705 00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:32,000 Not even touching that one. Not even touching. 706 00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:36,000 They deserve a tip because they got put up with the Royal Family. 707 00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:40,000 Honestly, are you talking about the dudes that stand outside? 708 00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:42,000 Yeah, with the big fluffy hats? 709 00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:51,000 No, honestly, I got to give those guys credit because everybody comes up to them and tries to... 710 00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:55,000 Oh, and they fuck with them so much. Oh, I know. It is a... 711 00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:57,000 Go ahead. 712 00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:59,000 Tip them. Tip them. 713 00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:01,000 Tip them, I agree. 714 00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:07,000 There's YouTube videos where people just go stupid on them trying to get them to react, and they don't. 715 00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:11,000 You know, some of them I would be like, alright, I'm going to get fired, 716 00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:14,000 but I'm going to punch this dumb ass right in the face. 717 00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:16,000 Wouldn't that be funny? 718 00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:22,000 Some of the earliest Americans' own videos of that. 719 00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:26,000 That might have been where these came from, for all I know, but they're on YouTube. 720 00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:32,000 Yeah, everybody's talked about that forever. 721 00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:36,000 The next one. Parking meter cops were wanting a tip, 722 00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:45,000 but I say I would give them a tip if they let me blow their whistle and yell at cars. 723 00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:51,000 I'll give you a tip if you turn your back. 724 00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:55,000 Yeah, hey, nothing happened here. Nothing to see, right? 725 00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:58,000 I may have a $20 bill in the Snickers bar. 726 00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:01,000 I was not 10 minutes past the meter. 727 00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:05,000 Nope, nope, nope. And here is that Snickers. 728 00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:08,000 Here's that Snickers I promised you. 729 00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:12,000 Yeah, you put it in the Snickers, right? 730 00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:17,000 You go, I don't know. There might be a 20 in it. Somebody, as rumor had it, I don't know. 731 00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:21,000 But here's the Snickers bar, and we'll see you soon, right? 732 00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:24,000 Yeah, right. 733 00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:35,000 So anyhow, the next one. The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier Guards were going to have a tip, but it was turned down. 734 00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:40,000 Well, you know, they do do a rough job, right? 735 00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:45,000 It could be hail and hail storm, just hailing all over the place. 736 00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:51,000 There'd be tornadoes fucking all over the sky, dancing all over the sky. 737 00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:56,000 There could be an earthquake. They're still there at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, right? 738 00:49:56,000 --> 00:49:58,000 Do you really believe that? 739 00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:01,000 No, I'm just making shit up for the show. 740 00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:09,000 No, not really. Do you think I believe half of the shit I say on here? 741 00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:12,000 I do. 742 00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,000 No, that's why we got our disclaimer. 743 00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:23,000 If this was an island, man, if it took the Unknown Soldier's tomb, I would not be standing out in hail and tornadoes. 744 00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:27,000 Fuck this. We ain't do that. We don't even know who the hell this is. 745 00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:31,000 I'd be like, look, man, they've been there a long time. I don't think they need watch. 746 00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:39,000 I'm going to go get out of the fucking rain for a while. Now when it's just rain, I'll come back out. 747 00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:49,000 So anyhow, and then let's see, I guess that was it. But now I've got another little story that I have here that I was going to tell about here. 748 00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:57,000 So now towel guys that are still at an upscale nightclub is very irritating. 749 00:50:57,000 --> 00:51:06,000 You ever had that happen? You're at a nightclub and you go into the bathroom and there's a towel guy there with like a little bit of cologne. 750 00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:12,000 And it's really irritating because even if he opens the door for you, they expect a tip. 751 00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:16,000 And if you don't give them one, you look like an asshole because everyone else is. 752 00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:26,000 And so anyhow, I remember a long time ago at this at the old fallout bar. Do you remember the fallout bar in Westport? 753 00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:32,000 You want to know? I remember hearing about that. I never was. I never went there. 754 00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:40,000 It was really cool because you walk in and it goes down. It's like it's like an amphitheater. 755 00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:45,000 And then the bands and the DJs always played in the bottom on the floor. 756 00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:53,000 And they had like canary cages with women dancing in it and stuff. It's pretty. It was an interesting bar. This is in the 90s, early 90s. 757 00:51:53,000 --> 00:52:00,000 So anyhow, the fallout bar in Westport, a man just showed up at the in the bathroom one day. 758 00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:05,000 He apparently talked his way into the bar by lying about being the bathroom attendant. 759 00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:09,000 No one bothered to ask the owner, I guess. 760 00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:21,000 So he got a bottle of dracarne or binocchio rubbers, hair gel and hot towels and occasionally a small bag of Doritos if you were lucky and you got there early. 761 00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:32,000 He even brewed black coffee for a while, but someone took and got into a scuffle with somebody and they cracked the, they cracked the, what do you call it? 762 00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:38,000 The metal or not the metal, the glass. They cracked the glass. 763 00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:48,000 And yeah, so anyhow, so he didn't have another. He didn't have an alternative coffee pot. So he quit brewing black coffee for everybody. 764 00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:54,000 You know, and the fallout found, you know, somehow they found out that he was there. 765 00:52:54,000 --> 00:53:02,000 And anyhow, by the owner or management, then he, you know, they come out there and they kicked him out and everything. 766 00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:07,000 But he got away with it for a couple of years. He made bank. He was never supposed to be there. 767 00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:16,000 And there was no communication between, there was no communication between the bouncers and the front doorman and the management or the owner. 768 00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:21,000 So he was in there on his own making money. It was, it was awesome. 769 00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:28,000 How long was he there? At least two years. I'm being very generous. I'm saying two years. I'll bet you it's more like three or four years. 770 00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:39,000 Awesome. So anyhow, I knew the owner and I asked the owner, I go, well, what can you do about it? He goes, absolutely nothing. The guy didn't break one law. 771 00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:49,000 No, he didn't break one law. So he essentially started off to it. No, the owner told me, he said, if he would have gave me a cut, I'd let him stay there. 772 00:53:49,000 --> 00:54:00,000 But the guy did it without me knowing. So, you know, come on, man. That's what he said. I would like everybody like. 773 00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:07,000 Yeah, yeah. I really liked him because, man, he gave me a couple of coffees one time that really kind of straighten me out a little bit. 774 00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:17,000 I mean, a lot of people probably needed coffee if you're hanging at a bar. Coffee pot is what I was trying to think of earlier. Coffee pot. 775 00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:25,000 I knew what you were talking about. Yeah. A couple of guys got into a scuffle and someone smacked the coffee pot and it cracked down the side. 776 00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:31,000 So I go in there to get my black coffee from the guy and shoot him a couple of bucks. I said, nah, some idiot fucking cracked it. 777 00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:44,000 Like, oh, man, I never did get another one. So the black coffee was off the table. So, hey, how so that guy, I just call that entrepreneurship. 778 00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:52,000 Right. The guy found an itch and fulfilled it and he made a lot of money doing it. So I salute you, whoever you were. 779 00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:59,000 So, hey, how, Rob, going into a little tribute here, are you? Yes, I am. 780 00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:05,000 All right. I told you about this earlier on air and you agreed it needs to be mentioned. 781 00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:29,000 Lou Tonter, the final surviving crew member, goes aboard the USS Arizona during the attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941 and passed away at 102, according to multiple reports. 782 00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:58,000 Tonter was one of 335 sailors aboard the USS Arizona who survived to December 7, 1941. Arizona lost 1,177 sailors and Marines during the Japanese attack, according to the National World War II Museum. 783 00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:02,000 What an American and what a badass. 784 00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:31,000 I know. Go ahead. It goes on. Several years later, a 20-year-old Tonter was Quarlemaster Third Class when his patrol bomber was shot down seven miles off the coast of New Guinea, causing the seaplanes to the main crew to fall into the Pacific Ocean. 785 00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:58,000 Once at water, Tonter and his crew were not alone. We had 10 to 12 sharks around us all the time, Tonter recalled. I told the men, if a shark comes close, hit it and nose with your fist as hard as you can. 786 00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:02,000 Yup, and they still do that today. 787 00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:07,000 Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm going to stop this story right here. 788 00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:08,000 Okay. 789 00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:13,000 But I'm going to tell you, I found it on USA Today. 790 00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:17,000 I read that same article about— 791 00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:18,000 He was incredible. 792 00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:22,000 Yeah, we salute you. What an incredible human being. 793 00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:25,000 And he went on to do a lot of other things. 794 00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:30,000 Yes. What an accomplished life. Wow. 795 00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:39,000 And this story came out yesterday. Well, April Fool's Day, unfortunately. 796 00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:48,000 There was other stories that came out, too, that people spread around and then they came back and said April Fool's. A lot of it was football-related stuff like this. 797 00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:51,000 Yeah, well, I found this one on USA Today. 798 00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:53,000 No, that's completely true. 799 00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:55,000 And a few other ones. 800 00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:59,000 I actually saw that on the local news. I also saw that online. 801 00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:08,000 It's true. And the guy was an amazing human being and we salute him. And may you have a great eternal life in the great beyond. 802 00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:12,000 But real quick, you were talking about sharks, right? 803 00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:13,000 Yeah. 804 00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:21,000 Okay. I used to work with some Cubans, very nice people, very strong, patriotic people, just lovely people. 805 00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:26,000 All of them were very hardworking and very appreciative to be over here working. 806 00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:40,000 The guy that I'm not going to say his name because he may not want to mention, but he escaped Cuba because what happened was he was working on this highway with some guy. 807 00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:45,000 And I guess the guy said something bad about Fidel Castro, not a... 808 00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:47,000 I forgot what his name is. 809 00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:49,000 Carlos or whatever. Raul. 810 00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:55,000 Raul Castro, not the guy in charge now, but the old guy that died, Fidel Castro. 811 00:58:55,000 --> 00:59:00,000 And so they come by and they got my friend that I worked with and the guy that said something. 812 00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:08,000 So he was in prison for like a month until they unralled it and realized that my friend didn't say anything about Castro. 813 00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:14,000 It was just that one guy. And he just happened to be right next to him working on the highway. 814 00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:23,000 So he gets home and his family thought he was dead. He'd been gone for a month. They had no way to provide for themselves and he had two little kids. 815 00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:28,000 So he goes, screw this. So he jumped on a raft and headed for America. 816 00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:31,000 Now there's like 20 of them on this little raft. 817 00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:41,000 And he said that sharks could smell a person getting ready to die, the elderly, and they would swarm in the waters until you threw them off. 818 00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:43,000 I believe that. 819 00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:49,000 Yeah. Yeah. I was like, wow. I was like, no, that didn't happen. He goes, yes. He said, yes, it did. 820 00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:57,000 He said two people died, they're elderly and kind of feeble, and they just couldn't take the elements and all that. 821 00:59:57,000 --> 01:00:04,000 And yeah, yeah. The sharks could tell that they were about dead and they would swim around the raft. 822 01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:09,000 As soon as you threw them off, they'd leave them alone. Yeah. 823 01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:13,000 Well, haven't you ever heard the smell of death? 824 01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:17,000 Yes. I'm sure that is true after what my friend told me. 825 01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:21,000 And all the people get a certain scent? 826 01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:22,000 Yes. 827 01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:24,000 You know, I'm not putting nobody down here. 828 01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:31,000 Well, I knew a guy that did some crazy stuff in the Army during Vietnam. 829 01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:36,000 And he was assigned to do it. And he said there was a particular smell, without a doubt. 830 01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:42,000 And he said that he could tell when he walked up on it before he'd seen it that there was death there. 831 01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:45,000 So I believe it, Rob. Yeah. 832 01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:51,000 So anyhow, let's take our second break and we'll come right back with some more stuff. 833 01:00:51,000 --> 01:00:53,000 That sound good? 834 01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:57,000 Oh, no. Looks like the show's over, kids. 835 01:00:57,000 --> 01:01:01,000 Mark has explosive diarrhea and can't afford a wireless mic. 836 01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:06,000 Fear not, assholes. They'll be back invading your ear holes soon.