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Hey everybody, this is Two Douchebags in Micron. Thank you for joining us. I'm Mark.
And I am Rob.
Hey Rob, I've got a question for you. You know, we both grew up primarily in the 70s and 80s, right?
The 70s we were youngsters, and the 80s we were teenagers doing stupid shit, right?
Yeah, we were actually in the 80s.
I've got to see if you remember something because it's going to lead to this story that I'm leading off with.
Okay, you remember those... Oh, I'm sorry, what?
I just said alright.
Oh, okay. You remember those Minuteman missile silos?
Yeah.
Yeah, they're out in the middle of nowhere, and what they were were missiles that had a nuclear warhead on them that were aimed at Russia and China.
Specifically more Russia, though, because this is during the Cold War, and everybody thought that we were going to kill each other with nukes, which is probably going to happen in a couple years anyhow.
But back then they thought it was going to happen back then, and of course they were wrong.
But anyhow, those things are silos, right? They're bunkers for those things.
Well, they're all empty now, right? Because they took them all out?
Right.
Okay. You can rent one of them now, Rob. You can sleep in one.
I think that's a great idea.
I don't know if that'd be a good idea.
I think it'd be kind of interesting.
It would be interesting, but I'd be scared, man, with my luck.
Tonight I rented that. World War III would break out, and whoever would think that was still an active silo.
They don't know that we pulled them out. You know what? That'd be my luck, too.
Yeah.
I'd be like, oh man, they're not aiming at here now. No, we know they're going.
They hadn't updated their software yet.
Well, anyhow, Ellsworth...
1984, there was a nuke here. Nailed it.
Okay. Ellsworth County. Ever wanted to take a snooze where a nuke used to sit?
You can make your dream come true with the new Airbnb option in the heart of Kansas.
27 News spoke with Matthew Fulkerson, the proud owner of a former missile silo tucked away in the scenic Smokey Hills of Kansas, which is very pretty.
Have you been through Smokey Hills?
Yeah.
The nuclear weapons might be long gone, but the location offers guests a unique place to spend the night and explore the local area.
Staying in an old abandoned missile base that's been turned into an Airbnb is one of those bucket item lists, Fulkerson said.
Just to be able to go through and walk through the tunnels and into the silo is a pretty incredible experience, which I agree, Rob.
I think it's...to me, that's a big part of history.
It would be interesting to see the different chambers they have and hopefully they have maybe plaques up that, well, this is a command center, this is this.
You know what I mean? Explain to your team. Because each one of those missile silos had to have people in there, right?
Right.
So it would be interesting to see what their functions were and see their different hallways and their different rooms and stuff.
I would just like to see their lunch room, see what that looked like.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I could see going in for like a two hour tour.
But to stay the night there, man, I'd be nervous as hell.
Just saying.
Because I remember the history.
Rob, I get it, but here's the deal. If a full on nuclear war breaks out, I'm not one that wants to stick around.
I want to find out where dead center is, where they're going to hit, and I'm going to go there.
I'm not going to be out there, you know, just like what you can eat during an apocalypse, our little series that we got going on.
I would be the one going to ground zero and going, you know what, I'm just going to go ahead and go to the next life.
This one's done. I'm not going to go chasing radioactive deer. I'm not going to be drinking radioactive water.
I'm not going to be one of the, I don't know, running from zombies or whatever.
I'm just going to go get disintegrated and see what's there, you know, after.
So anyhow.
Well, that's where we differed, my friend.
You see, so I'd gladly go.
I would be more like Red Dawn.
And you are an 80's child.
I would head to the mountains.
Look at the rains!
I would survive.
You know, you are an 80's child there because you mentioned Red Dawn.
Red Dawn was, oh man, wasn't that great movie?
That was just.
Man, it got us ready for everything we were just talking about.
Yeah. Oh yeah. Back then I was like, yeah, bring them on. Bring them on, man. I'm ready.
Yeah. And that was a bunch of high school kids.
Yeah. Yeah. That was a great.
Took on Russia, China, and everybody.
Yeah, they didn't care.
Folkerson said he purchased the property with the help of an investor in 2013 and has been working hard to get it ready for people to stay ever since.
He moved out of the site in 2020 to cut down on the nearly three hour drive from Topeka and work on the site full time.
Though he occasionally gets help from friends and family, Folkerson said he's been operating a one wrecking crew throughout the renovation process.
Over the last year, I've been working diligently with the power washing, demolition, and rebuilding into a destination where people can actually stay, Folkerson said.
I'm still in the process of finishing the lower areas.
He received additional funds from Airbnb through its fund, the OMG fund, whatever that is.
Every year Airbnb chooses a hundred. Oh, okay. It explains it.
Airbnb chooses a hundred hosts around the world to receive a hundred thousand dollars based on their originality and other factors.
So the originality, I could see why they grand them a hundred grand.
Yeah. Yeah. That's actually honestly, that is kind of cool. It really is.
I mean, I would do it just to say, you know, hey, Mark, what do you do over the weekend?
Oh, I slept in a old minute man missile silo. What?
I mean, you know, we're getting pictures posted on Facebook. Would that be cool?
Guys, guess where I'm at? Oh, missile silo.
Anyhow, pretty cool. Great idea. That guy's going to make a lot of money from it.
So Rob, we turn to you. Some of the stuff you told me before we got on air. I can't wait to hear it.
Yeah. Well, my first one tonight. All right.
Dana Carvey issued a public apology to Sharon Stone for making her strip down to her underwear in a Saturday night live stitch back in 1992.
Wow. I remember this, this skit.
I think I do too.
Yeah. Carvey made the apology on Wednesday, March 20th episode of Fly on the Wall podcast. He hosts with David Spade.
I might be willing to listen to that. I think that would be pretty cool. David Spade.
Yeah, Dana Carvey and David Spade. Yeah, that would be cool.
I think they're both clever and quick witted. Probably a pretty good podcast.
Yep. Stone, now 66, hosted the show in April, 1992.
Oh my God, Stone.
She appeared with Carvey, now 68, in the airport security stitch. In the segment, she was ordered by three security guards to take off her jacket, stockings, and eventually her blouse to prove she wasn't carrying a weapon.
Wow.
I want to apologize publicly for the security check sketch where I played an Indian man and we're convincing Sharon, her character, or whatever, to take her clothes off and go do the security thing, Carvey said, with Spade 59 adding that it was so offensive.
Carvey noted that the sketch was during a different era, decades before the Me Too movement brought awareness to exploitation of women in the media.
The comedy we did with Sharon Stone, we'd literally be arrested now, he commented. That was 1992.
Yeah. Okay, one thing really bothered me about that article, Rob. Dana Carvey is 68 and Sharon Stone is 66.
Yeah.
How is that possible?
Tell me about it.
Yeah. Oh wow. Wow.
Well, Dana Carvey is really close to 70. This goes on with Sharon Stone's comment.
Okay.
She was not offended by the sketch at the time. I know the difference between a misdemeanor and a felony and I think what we all, we were all committing misdemeanors back then.
Because we didn't think it was something wrong then, the basic instinct star commented. We didn't have the sense. That was funny to me. I didn't care. I was fine being the butt of the joke.
Yeah.
She took it well back then.
No, no, she did. She took it very well, actually.
Like we said, it was a different time back then.
Oh gosh, this stuff.
People did not get so offended.
Oh, I know. I know. Yeah, I mean the difference between everything is day and night now.
Yeah.
And you can't really do anything.
You gotta watch what you say to anybody and everybody now.
Yeah. Yeah. It's really becoming frustrating because everything has to go through your mind before you even do it. There is no comedy anymore.
Right.
You cannot do real comedy with all these stupid rules in place.
People are so eager to get offended. They're just waiting. They're waiting. They're like fucking, they're like cobras in a bush.
Just waiting to jump out and go, hey, you offended me. I mean, I would hate to try to be a comedian nowadays. You couldn't do anything.
I mean, remember Dice or Sam Kennison or some of those guys?
Oh, God.
Oh, would that fly in?
Yeah. Oh, man.
They'd probably be in jail.
They'd have to be on the internet.
Yeah, that's the only way.
They would not be able to be on TV. They'd have to be on the internet these days.
Yes. Yep. Yep. That is no kidding.
And speaking of the internet.
Yeah, especially Dice.
Speaking of the internet, real quick. I was speaking to you on air and I don't know, I probably shouldn't have because, you know, we are talking to some people, right?
Right.
And I didn't mean to bring attention to it. I just wasn't thinking what I was doing. And anyhow, I guess there's internet stations that just play nothing but podcasts and they're real popular right now.
And anyhow, the reason it is is because you can say or do whatever you want. There's no FCC involved and people are starting to gravitate to that because they want to hear what people are really wanting to say instead of what they have to say.
And I think it's pretty interesting to me. That's a big breakthrough because there's still a lot of people out there that don't believe in all this stupid political correct bullshit that they still want to hear real meat and potato stuff.
And I don't know, they pointed out to me these different things that's going on in different facets of the internet. And I was like, wow, pretty interesting. But anyhow, anyhow, I'm probably sure to mention any of that before I was jumping the gun.
But anyhow, now that it's out of the bag, I'm hoping that we're going to join a list of stations and be on their internet stations, not terrestrial.
Anyhow, I'm going to go ahead and go to the next one here. Doritos has new late night flavors. And this is flavors they say, Netflix and chill or whatever.
I don't know, drinking and hanging out or whatever. They're saying that these Doritos are made for late night. And they're a bunch of new flavors.
And sounds good to me. I mean, I need them during the day, but I'm not going to tell Doritos that. So Doritos is swapping out its current late night chip flavor with new even cheesier variety.
Reported to replace the Doritos late night loaded taco flavor is Sizzling Cheeseburger. Does that sound good?
That does sound good. And if that sounds familiar, you wouldn't be the first one to think so. Since the new edition was announced online, fans have been reminded of their love for the all nighter cheeseburger Doritos,
which was available for about a year before Frito Lay discontinued it in 2010. I didn't know any of this. I didn't even know there was late night Doritos. Did you?
No, I did not. I had no idea until I print out this article. I'm like, what? Okay. I guess they had late night Doritos.
Let's see. The Internet personally isn't the only one hopping Sizzling Cheeseburger flavor profile is similar to that of its predecessor from 14 years ago.
Remember when they had these in 2010 so good on one of the scram user gushed? They were my favorite of all time. The cheeseburger ones and other ones shared. Hope I can find it in Canada.
Third quip. No, you're not going to be able to find it in Canada. No. True. No. I already outlawed it. It's been 14 years. Why can't they release these everywhere?
Someone else. This should have this should have been released a long time ago. You guys suck. There are no Kroger's near me. I'll never get one.
Anyhow, I think, you know, okay. They printed some of the negative comments and people are pissed off because I guess you'd only get them in certain areas.
I bet you can get them on the Internet. So that guy probably didn't do his research. Guy that said that they suck because they care. They carry them at Kroger's and he doesn't have a Kroger's near him.
I bet you go the Internet or one of his local if he lives in a metropolitan area at all, one of his local stores will have them. I guarantee. So anyhow, that guy's flipping out over nothing.
So look for the store name. I mean, like the girls down here is a Kroger. They carry Kroger product. Yes. But they're called good. It's like Dylan's. They carry Kroger. They are equal.
Yeah. Kroger, I think, is the largest. I think Kroger is the largest. That's just a closer. That's what I've been reading. Kroger is the largest food chain food provider right now.
Yeah. Yeah. And and they don't do it all under the Kroger name. Now, if you go in there to go and you buy something, you can get the Kroger brands.
Yeah. Kroger affiliate. Yeah. Kroger has some interesting stuff, too, because Kroger was on the real sugar tip way before me. You know that Kroger was doing real sugar colas and oranges and stuff like that.
Twenty years ago, they were doing that. I did not know that. Yeah. Yeah. They've been a pioneer of real sugar for a long time. So and they even had real sugar ketchup that was Kroger brand.
And they've been on this for a long time that, you know, and now there's I guess it's like kind of a fad that, you know, people are trying to get away from corn syrups and stuff.
And so corn syrups are bad for you, needless to say. So that might be why I can't drink soda anymore. I OK.
It messes with my stomach. It does me too. It might be the corn syrup. It could be the carbonation, too.
I mean, the acid, the citric acid probably has a lot to do with it also. But I mean, the corn syrup probably has something to do with it, too.
So anyhow, you ever hear of Shrimp Jesus?
No.
OK. Well, it's something that's going on right now. Shrimp Jesus is an AI generated character. It's a Jesus made out of shrimp.
As it turns out, Shrimp Jesus refers to a massive collection of AI generated images that blend Jesus with shrimp and have gone viral on every social platform, Facebook.
These images in turn are sometimes linked to shady websites to prey on unsuspected folks and scam them.
So you can read more about it in this excellent article it says here, but you know, I'm not going to tell you what it is.
The kind of content is like algorithm crack.
Scammers sure know how to game a gullible audience by appealing to their faith or values, asking them to comment Amen on each of these images.
So if they support, you know, if they support it, then people these these people get their, you know, their information, spam them, maybe try to, I don't know, steal it, you know, whatever, or just hack into them or whatever.
So they're using the Shrimp Jesus AI generated Shrimp Jesus.
And these people that are like, oh, my God, someone put a Jesus up. I better say Amen.
They're getting them. I gotta give it to these people. Pretty smart.
I know. I gotta give it to the scammers. Me too. I know.
If you're picked up Shrimp Jesus, I know Rob.
These people are going for it. They're on heavy drugs to begin with. They're not Jesus lovers. Exactly.
Fair game. Someone does that. Fair game. Fair game.
You got to mind your manner better than that. And this is all that.
That's all they're saying. Shrimp Jesus. Yeah, Shrimp Jesus.
I would almost. Why would you even watch something like that? I would view it as somewhat blasphemy.
Yeah. Yeah. I don't think it's a very polite way to treat Jesus if you believe in him.
And if I see someone doing that, I'm definitely not going to give it an amen.
I'm probably going to scroll right by and go, these people are idiots.
So it's actually blasphemy on both parts. One to put it on there. One for saying Jesus. Yeah.
Good point, Rob. Good point. Well, anyhow.
You guys, if you commented on the Shrimp Jesus, you've been scammed.
Let's take our first break, Rob, and we'll be right back. That sound good?
Sounds great. Alright. We'll talk to you guys here in a minute.
Somewhere in the heavens, your great Grammy Gertrude is crying because her little Bebo is listening to this film.
And that brand new feature, strange consults from an alien.
May you always step in a wet spot after putting on fresh socks.
Oh, shit. What's that over there? Oh, no. It's Island of Horrible Jokes.
That wooden shoe in my toilet, I guess it was clogged.
Have you ever wondered where something came about?
Have you ever looked at something and said, I wonder what the origin of that is?
Well, so have we. That's why we give you The Origin of.
Where did podcasts originate?
The term was first coined by Ben Hammersley, a writer for The Guardian in 2004, by combining the words iPod and broadcasting.
In 2005, Steve Jobs, founder of Apple, introduced the idea of subscribing to a podcast by building the concept into the iTunes interface.
Who made the first podcast ever? 2004, Adam Curry and Dave Weiner are credited with the invention of podcasting.
Who exactly did what is up for dispute? But in the end, these are the two guys who got it rolling.
The term podcasting was mentioned by Ben Hammersley in The Guardian newspaper article.
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Bags and microphone, thanks for joining us again. My name is Mark.
And I am Rob.
Rob, you got a story. I want you to go into it now because the next one is kind of long for me.
And anyhow, it's Boomer Questions that Millennials and Xs hate.
Okay, yeah, I got one. Actually, I just pulled it up.
Alright, sounds good, Rob.
I've been wanting to get two.
Mr. Rad, the floor is yours.
An actor who has appeared in the life of NCIS has been arrested for allegedly taking part in the January 6th riot at the U.S. Capitol.
No shit?
Scott Bakula spent around 28 minutes inside the Capitol after entering through a broken window alongside other Donald Trump supporters that day, according to a charging document revealed by Politico.
Hang on, hang on. Allegedly.
Now, if you think about it, Scott Bakula was on NCIS New Orleans.
Yes.
I think we need to put in allegedly, right?
Yeah, allegedly.
Okay, anyhow, go ahead. Yeah, he was on NCIS New Orleans, but he was being investigated for this.
Wow.
Mr. Bakula was tracked down as part of an FBI investigation into all those supporters of the former president involved in the riot seeking to overturn the 2020 election results.
Agents have secured through video footage and images from security cameras, phones, and TV cameras seeking out suspects.
In Mr. Bakula's case, video footage from the Capitol police showed the actor entering into the building wearing a red hoodie, covered with a black jacket, along with a red hat with white lettering around 2.23 p.m.
Investigators say he was then seen leaving around 2.49 p.m. FBI agents visited Mr. Bakula at his home in Nevada on June 27, 23, with the actor asking to speak to an attorney when they asked if he was at the Capitol on January 6.
Wow.
A subsequent subpoena of information from American Airlines showed that Mr. Bakula had traveled to Worshen, D.C. two days before the riot and then back home again two days after.
Wow.
Mr. Bakula had been charged with obstruction of an official proceeding and not only entering or remaining on the grounds of a government building without lawful authority.
Wow.
You asked me if I had a story to go to.
The head is a story. Wow.
That kind of floored me. I can't believe.
So he's looking at a lot of charges then.
Yeah, he's looking at obstruction and being in there just like everybody else.
And not only can you mention, also there's another facet to this.
Hollywood is extremely liberal and they hate Trump.
So what do you think that's going to do to Scott Bakula's career?
Oh, exactly.
Yeah. Yeah, it's going to ruin it.
Let's say he gets out of it, he doesn't go to jail or nothing, he pays some money and everything.
I still think his roles are going to dwindle to nothing because most of the producers and the funds behind it and everything are extremely liberal and they're not going to like the fact that he, you know, went to the Capitol and also he's on Trump's side.
So it's going to be interesting to see this thing unfold because I'm predicting he's going to be out of work quite a bit from here on out because of that.
I do too.
Wow.
Okay, thanks, Rob. I mean, that's a great story. Geez.
That kind of caught me off guard.
Okay.
There is a bunch of forums online.
And it is basically Gen Zers and Millennials bitching about boomers and maybe some elder exes too.
And their questions and their mannerisms and everything that they hate about them.
It's like these boards that people just go off about them because they, you know, they don't like this about they don't like that about they don't like this.
They think they're stupid, you know, and all this stuff. Right. You get you get the gist of it. Right.
Yep. Okay.
Okay.
One of the boomer questions one of them. Why do boomers insist on sending friend requests to people they don't know, I would have to agree with them.
You ever got a friend request. I've done this a lot.
It's happened to me a lot is is someone that knows a bunch of people you know, but you don't know them personally and never met him.
I get them all the time.
And I'm like, I don't know this person, you know, yeah, me too.
It's like, why do you need to know me just because we know like 10 same people you don't need to know me and I don't need to know you.
You know, we have the same.
Well, it depends on what she looks like and if she's single or not.
Okay. If I was single and all that was okay.
Yes, I would be like, hell yeah.
I'll be your friend.
A bunch of dick pics are way see what happens.
Yeah.
Anyhow, not really, allegedly.
All right.
Allegedly.
All right.
Next one boomer questions.
Can anyone respond to social media videos or memes you send with them?
Who's that?
What?
Do you know them?
That's true.
If you send a meme or something, who's that?
It's like, it's nobody.
It's a meme.
Yeah.
Or who sent this?
Well, look up there.
It says my name, right?
On the, you know, on the messenger.
Okay.
If it says my name, then well, you know, it probably came from me.
Huh?
Well, why do you send it to me?
I'm going to leave that one right there.
You said enough.
I got to go on with this.
Well, why'd you send it to me?
I don't know.
I thought you'd enjoy it.
And then that's it.
Anyhow.
Okay.
And especially the, do you know them?
That one got me several times.
It's like, you send them a meme and it's no one.
And do you know them?
And it's like, no.
There's something that's been passed around the internet.
So anyhow.
This is one that I'm guilty of too.
Boomers can't use paper straws.
Why is that?
I hate paper straws.
They disintegrate.
They unravel.
They're not worth a shit.
Paper straws are garbage.
Rob?
I agree.
However.
You put them in your mouth, they dissolve in your mouth.
Yeah.
They're nasty and they leave a taste.
Yeah.
It gets slimy.
They leave a papery taste and you're trying to taste, I don't know, orange juice, cranberry,
whatever.
And you don't taste it because, or on your case, iced tea, Rob.
It tastes like that weird paper taste.
And I don't want to drink it after that because it's got that taste.
However, Carnival came up with a great idea and they're doing this.
They're implementing it.
And it works great.
Especially like I get my morning coffee at the specialty coffee shop every morning.
All right.
And with that, they give you candy straws that are made out of chocolate, white chocolate,
lime.
So if you're having a pina colada later, they'll give you a lime straw that's candy.
You're looking at-
Okay, I've seen something like that in the past in the grocery stores.
Oh, maybe they sell it in grocery stores.
But I think it was like cinnamon or it was something.
It was a flavored straw that would dissolve in your coffee or your drink.
Yeah.
And those things work excellent and maybe they're gaining some steam.
Maybe they have them in other places besides Cruises.
I don't know.
Well, that was a few years ago, though.
I mean, yeah, so I hadn't heard anything about it since.
So I'm glad you brought this up.
Okay.
Yeah.
Pretty good.
Okay.
This next one I'm guilty of too, Rob.
We'll see what you have to say.
QR code resistance.
Don't you have a regular menu I can use?
My hand goes up.
I hate looking on my phone to order.
I always miss stuff.
Like I'll already order and then someone around the table will go, oh yeah, I'll take the
fried jalapeno rings.
I'm like, you guys got them?
And he's like, yeah, it's on the menu.
And I miss shit, you know, the menu.
You have to scroll back and forth, up and down and everything.
And you know what?
Did you just mention QR code and looking at a menu?
Mm-hmm.
I have an iPhone and I'm lost already.
Now I want to read what, you know.
I want a big piece of paper.
There should be a menu in front of everybody saying what they serve.
I agree.
No one should have to go in there and scan a QR code and then use the space on your phone
and then have to.
Yeah, you're using your data, everything else.
Yeah.
Just bring out the menus.
The COVID era is over right now as far as we know.
Yeah.
Bring out regular menus.
People aren't afraid to use them now.
Geez.
Yeah.
So, okay, next one.
Why do boomers talk about less people wanting to have children like we're killing people?
Like we're actively killing people?
I take it for what it is, the blessing it is.
We all need generally stupid people raising generally stupid kids.
So when they say they don't want to have any kids, I secretly go, bravo, thank you, Lord, in my mind.
And I go, oh, I can understand real-world problems.
I turn around and go, that's great.
This person did not need to reproduce anyhow.
Thank you, Lord.
So anyhow.
I am totally like you.
I totally understand that and I totally appreciate it.
Yeah.
Okay.
Just saying.
No, no.
I think a lot of us are that way.
Rob, just saying here too.
Just saying.
All right, next.
Why do boomers, this one gets me.
It really irritates the fuck out of me.
Okay.
Why do boomers sit at the ATM with their door open?
Just go inside.
You're basically standing there anyhow.
I agree.
All that time wasted.
First, they try to open the door because they can't reach the window, right?
The ATM.
So then they move it out a little bit.
Meanwhile, you're back there waiting, waiting, waiting.
And then they're too far away.
So then they have to stop the car, either get out or try to get the car a little bit closer.
And it's like, just go in, you dumbass.
Or just go park your car and walk up to the ATM and do it like that.
I get sick of wasting my life watching some idiot try to reposition his car 30 times so he can get some money out.
Do you know what I mean, Rob?
Have you seen this?
Okay.
We have an ATM for my bank.
Right here at Save a Lot, Farzing Lot.
Okay.
And I walk.
And it seems like every time, just as I'm coming up on that ATM on foot, some stupid person pulls me to Park-A-Lot and darts right in front of me.
And I'm standing there like 15, 20 minutes waiting on him.
Or someone that does all that.
I'm standing in the middle of that parking lot waiting on the damn because they pulled right in.
And then they're not prepared.
They don't know what they're doing.
And they're doing all their banking there too.
And they don't know what the hell they're doing.
You know, I'm standing for like 15, 20 minutes.
And everybody's just driving by and looking at me.
I keep reaching my hand out like, over there, look.
I swear someone was doing paypal for that.
I totally understand that one.
And that's anybody.
Not just elderly.
I agree with that 100%.
Yep.
Yeah.
All right.
True story.
Yep.
That's a great point.
Yep.
I don't like this moron, but I think he knows quite a bit about phones.
So I'm going to have to go this moron, act like I like the moron, and have him fix my phone for me.
So I agree.
I'd go towards your car too.
Just saying.
Yep.
Just saying.
All this is just saying, right, Rob?
We're good at just saying.
We're just saying.
That's it.
Allegedly all that good shit.
Next one.
I agree with this one too.
Why do Boomer's food picks look like someone's last meal?
Yeah, that's true.
I get it.
I get it too.
I get it.
Because they put in the salad, they put in the dessert, they put in the meat course.
I get it.
They have it all laid out just perfectly.
Where me, if I got something that's really good, like a big sizzling steak or something,
I'm like, I just take a picture of the steak, send it to a couple people that would enjoy it,
and I'm done with it.
Now, that's true.
Yeah, there are Boomers that think you have to take a picture of everything and have an
explanation.
Now, this waffle wasn't an actual waffle.
It was not a regular waffle.
It was an almond cinnamon waffle.
Oh, they are so delish.
You just need to try one yourself.
Oh, I'm telling you.
It's like no one cares.
Okay, you got an almond cinnamon waffle that you love.
Okay, good for you.
Now, get the fuck out of here.
So anyhow.
Yeah, I'm sure it's on Facebook with some Boomers.
I know what you're talking about.
Yeah.
It's like, I don't even do this to people.
I think this.
There's stuff I know about them that I should never know because they volunteer it to me
every day and it drives me nuts.
It's like I keep getting this reoccurring zit on my ass.
It is so weird.
And I'm like thinking, I don't need to fucking know this.
And then if they ask me, I'm like, I'm not a dermatologist.
I don't know if it's cancer.
Go to a doctor.
At least they're getting paid well to hear your bullshit.
You know, I mean, fuck yours and you.
Get out of here.
So anyhow.
All right.
This is a great one, Rob.
And I've done this before.
Why do Boomers answer the phone just to say they'll call you back?
They got us dead to write.
And we're not Boomers and we still do it.
Yeah, Xers and I do it.
I'm so guilty.
And it's like, oh, quick answer the phones.
I can tell them I can't talk to them.
Yeah.
If I'm busy, I'm at least going to acknowledge you called me.
Well, that's what I'll call you right back.
I'm busy.
But you think about it, it is kind of absurd.
I'm going to answer the phone just to tell them I'm not answering the phone.
I got a good point now that we have texting and shit.
You let it go and then you call them back.
I'm sorry, man.
I was helping this old lady cross the road.
What do you need?
Yeah.
You don't like go, hey, hey, man, I know you called, but I'm helping this old lady across the road.
I'll call you later.
Just don't answer.
And then, you know, address them later when you have the time.
Yeah.
Call or explain it later.
Yeah.
This is true.
Oh, no.
I'm saying my own answer.
I'll call you back.
They got me on that one.
Yep.
All right.
Next one.
And this one I do not do.
I don't do.
It drives me nuts.
As a matter of fact, it drives me crazy when people have loud conversations on their Bluetooth
in a small area and they're just talking really loud and don't care to go, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
I remember that.
And then that guy threw that Billy Goat off the cliff.
Oh, my.
Oh, God.
And it's like, man, I don't want to fucking hear one side of a conversation as loud as
you can fucking yell it.
Yeah.
That's annoying as hell.
I agree.
I totally agree.
I run off Bluetooth myself.
Uh-huh.
I do this podcast.
Right now, I'm speaking off my Bluetooth.
I'm not yelling.
Exactly.
I'm not yelling.
Exactly.
But a lot of people feel...
If I yelled, this show would sound like shit.
Exactly.
And I don't know if people think that they can't hear them if they yell or if it's just
some sort of a secret thing to try to be cool.
Like, you're talking on the phone to someone, but no one else can hear.
I don't know.
There's something to it.
And it drives me nuts.
It's like lower the voice.
I guarantee you, those things can pick up a fucking mouse.
So stop.
Yeah.
No one wants to hear your shit.
And then this next one, right here, I agree with 100%.
Why do boomers just let their phones ring loudly in public?
What the hell is wrong with them?
Pfft.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
That drives me nuts, too.
Arrowwood's in line also.
Uh, hey, can I answer this?
Yes.
Maybe because they have their hearing aids turned off.
Rob, I think you hit it.
You hit it.
That's it?
The boomers.
A lot of them probably have hearing aids.
They may have accidentally turned off or something.
I go back to the old farter that retired at O'Reilly's Auto Parts.
There you go.
Okay.
There you go.
I did a little serenade to him one time on a podcast a while back.
Yeah, you did.
The old farter was really fucking good, man.
He helped me change some windshield wiper blades that were very complicated, believe
it or not.
You had to take this little, you had to have a special tool and take this little square
piece off and then take the spring off and all this shit and everything.
And he had the tools and everything.
And he knew all the parts you needed.
He would ask you the right questions and get you the right part.
If the old farter did it, he had right parts.
If someone else did it, you had to go back three times.
But the old farter had one problem.
He couldn't hear and he constantly farted.
So he's like, all right, I got your battery.
It's back here.
And I'm walking behind him.
He's going, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft.
And I realized he couldn't hear it.
He thought they were all silent farts.
They were not.
They were not silent farts.
I heard every one of them.
And anyhow, if he'd had a hearing aid, he might have been embarrassed.
So anyhow, but...
That has a name.
What is it?
It's called the walking farts.
Listen to Larry the Cable Guy, man.
Okay.
He has the walking farts.
It's the walking fart.
Yeah.
When you walk, you fart when you get older.
He's since went to Assistant Levine.
So now he's farting all over somebody.
Yeah.
Hears his aid or something.
He's farting on them.
So anyhow.
I'll tell you what.
From what you have told me about him, I would like that, man.
He's a good guy.
I would like that.
He's a really good guy.
He's kind of funny.
Sounds like a great guy.
He's kind of funny, too.
He'll crack a joke here and there.
He just farts all over you.
I mean, they didn't stink, at least.
So they're like little popcorn farts.
There you go.
And finally.
Yeah.
That's the walking fart.
Yeah.
That's him.
What they sound like.
And everybody knew him, too, because whenever I talk to someone now, I go, hey, man.
Hey, where'd you get that at?
Oh, the old forter.
You got it.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, okay.
Thanks.
Anyhow.
All right.
This one I agree with, too, because they do take this too far, boomers.
Why do boomers think it's a contest on who is the most tired?
Agreed.
Yeah.
How many times you come into a room and one boomer goes, oh, my God, I'm tired.
Oh, man, I'm so tired.
I could sleep for five weeks.
Oh, no, no, I'm so tired.
I could go into a coma for a year.
And it's like a contest.
It's like, okay, you guys are tired.
Can you guys shut up?
Now I sound like that guy of people becoming their parents when they buy a home.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
And you got no...
Take commercials.
Take commercials, yeah.
Just a minute.
Now, we don't need to tell everybody how tired we are.
Come on, let's get out of here.
Right, right, right.
I could be that guy.
Anyhow, let's take a break, Rob, and I'm sure you got a story for us when we come back,
right?
Yes, I do.
All righty.
We'll be back in a minute.
Looking for a new laptop on the internet is basically having your computer dig its own
grave.
Now it's time for pick up lines from a loser.
Are you a parking ticket?
You got five written all over you.
Next time you take a dump, listen to two douchebags and a microphone.
It's been grooving in laboratory rats to relax your anal canal.
It's slightly crooked, just enough for it to be uncomfortable.
Next up, things overheard in hell.
Joe Buck and Troy Aitman are doing all televised and radio games of the NFL this year.
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.
Why can't I just buy a can of thin paint?
Why do I always have to go buy paint thinner?
Hmph.
I may never know.
Oh shit, what's that over there?
Oh no, it's the island of horrible jokes.
I put a wooden shoe in my toilet, I guess it was clogged.
Hey look, I think we found land.
Oh my god, I think we're safe.
Oh no, it's the island of horrible jokes.
What do you call a well balanced horse?
Stable.
Hey everybody, thanks for joining us again.
This is Mark, two douchebags and microphone.
And I'm Rob.
Alright Rob, as promised, we look to you for the scoop.
Hey, you know how you love me for my deep dark stories?
Yes?
You've been telling me like the last week or so.
I've got a store that's out there for you brother.
Okay, I like the way you said this is going to be good.
Only on two douchebags and a microphone do you hear this.
Believeable, trust me.
Larry Whitaker, a member of America's most inbred family has died aged 67.
The Whitakers are one of the most well known families in America due to their complicated
history with inbreeding.
Devastating genetic defects have left some members of the West Virginian family communicating
through grunts and barks rather than words or sign language.
Photographer Mark Layata.
I've got a story for you after you're done too.
Go ahead.
Okay, good, good.
Photographer Mark Layata, who has been documenting the family's lives since 2020, shared the
upsetting news on YouTube today.
He believes Larry died following a heart attack last week and his passing has been a devastating
shock to the family.
In his video, Mark said, okay, there's some news about Larry dying.
Larry was always a great dude to me.
He was always really nice.
Larry was always a stand up guy and he and Betty really ran the show very well.
Larry will be greatly missed.
It's going to be hard on Betty now.
In a tribute, one YouTuber said, so sorry to the Whitaker family.
Mark, thank you for your love and kindness to this family.
This story goes back, back into the 1800s to where this family has been inbreeding since
1800s.
Wow.
But now the father of the family now has passed away.
Yeah.
All right.
Wow.
Okay.
You're right.
I love that story, Rob.
You're right.
I told you I bring them back out of nowhere.
I love it.
Remember, I think his last podcast or no is one before where we had all the slang terms
and boomers and Xers.
There was they gave.
Yeah.
A percentage of how many of them knew what they were talking about and use them and all
that.
Right.
And I have an extended list that I found yesterday of more slang terms.
And all right.
Coming in at 86, no, no, no, 96.8%.
That's lit.
96, pretty much 97% of boomers and Xers when they hear that's lit, they understand.
I understand what it means.
Rob, what do you think it means?
I know what it means.
Okay.
What is it?
I mean, that's cool.
That's yeah.
Yeah.
It means lit means something.
Yeah, it's cool.
It's a good thing.
Yeah.
It means something is really good, intense, fun or exciting.
Yeah.
Similar to other like such as poppin or off the chain.
You were right.
Like I said, I got a 19 year old.
Ghosting comes in at 94%.
I think we all know what that is too.
We all know that that's where you just disappear and that's it.
Get that bread.
Come in at 92%.
And what do you think it means?
I know what that is.
Okay.
What is it?
Get that bread.
Yeah.
Get that money.
Yep.
Bread means money.
Yep.
That's it.
Get that bread.
Exactly what it is.
Slay comes in at 88.5%.
And what is slay, Rob?
Oh, you may have me on this one.
Okay.
Go ahead and tell me.
All right.
To kill in a violent way.
Hell, what hell?
That I do.
That caught me off guard because that's what it's always been.
I did not take that way.
You know what?
Hang on.
I got to make a slayer.
I'm taking Iron Maiden, Slayer, you know.
Hang on.
Here.
I'm going to try this.
I did not know they would take that way.
Okay.
Here's what it really means.
I looked at the old version of slay.
This is a new one.
The term slay is often used as slang to describe someone who has done exceptionally well or
impressed others.
It is commonly associated with fashion, music, and artistic performance but can be used in
various contexts.
Okay.
That makes sense.
Okay.
Yeah.
I know that.
Yeah.
Come in.
You have me totally turned around on that one.
Come in at 88%.
Yeah, 88%.
Karen.
All right.
We all know what Karen means.
I mean, it's very popular.
Yeah.
Come on.
Yeah.
Karen's kind of old news.
So, okay.
All right.
That's pretty much everybody.
If you're that kind of person, yeah.
Okay.
Shook.
What do you think shook means, Rob?
It comes in at 87%.
Nerves rattled.
Yeah.
Like your shook up.
Emotionally or physically disturbed, upset.
upset. She looks pretty shook up from that letter.
Alright. Okay, let's do the slang one and make sure that's the same one.
I think it absolutely means the same thing as slang.
Shook is a slang term used to describe a state of shock, surprise, or astonishment.
It is typically used when something unexpected or impactful happens that leaves a person feeling mentally shaken, like you said.
Goat. We all know what goat means. Greatest of all time.
Oh, yeah.
Sketch.
Patrick Bums.
Yep, very much so.
Just that, sorry.
Oh, speaking of that, I forgot to do an NFL update.
Well, let's finish this before we go venturing on something else.
You're right. At 88 percent? No, 86 percent, sorry.
Sketch.
Alright.
Sketch?
I would say sketchy, like sketchy appearance, sketchy personality. That's what I would say.
Okay, a rough or unfinished draft. Oh, wait a minute. No, no, no, no.
I gotta go to the slang one. This keeps trying to give me the old ones.
Okay, slang for sketch.
Dangerous or risky. A list of slang terms used by students at the University of Arkansas at Fayetteville published in 1975 defines sketch as an adjective meaning dangerous or risky.
Illustrated with the example, I think we're in a sketch situation. So you were right.
Okay, well I put it as a person putting it as a situation.
Yes.
Yeah, you know what I was talking about. Yeah, I'm pretty good at this.
You are. You're doing really good like you did last time. At 84 percent, fire.
Fired?
Yeah, fire. Just fire, not fired.
Oh, fire? Uh huh.
Oh, that means that's cool, that's the bomb, that's the shizmit.
Really close, yeah. When referring to an object such as music, clothing, or performance, calling it fire means it is exceptionally good or impressive.
For example, if someone says a song is fire, they're impressing and they think it's really great or catchy. So you were correct.
This next one, snack, what do you think it means?
Snack?
Yes.
Oh, God, it turns out how you use it.
Yep.
Okay, now to me, a snack would be a very good looking woman.
Okay, this is a good one.
And it's spelled S-N-A-C-C.
Okay, yeah.
Where does snack come from?
She's a cougar.
Snack was black slang for a small penis in the 1970s and gay slang for male genitalia in the 1980s.
But in the 2000s, snack emerges as slang for an attractive person, so you were correct.
I mean, it doesn't have to be a female though, that's the only difference.
Okay.
Wow, I had no idea about snack on that other.
Okay, you went into genitalia, I was like, oh my God, I totally screwed that one up.
Well, I mean, I guess back before I was here.
No, you're right, the old version, I was right.
Yeah, you're right. Okay, how about whip that comes in at 81%?
Whip?
Yep.
See, that one goes a lot of directions too, I'm gonna say, you give in.
Well, kinda. Okay.
Well, I'm gonna play it safe and say, you give in.
Okay, in slang use, if someone in a romantic relationship is whipped, they let their romantic partner have a great deal of control over what they do, where they go, etc.
It's pretty much what we knew, we used to call it pussywhip or dickwhip.
Okay, yeah, see, that's right where my mind went, but I wanted to clean it up a little bit.
Okay, well I'd kinda be descriptive too, take it away from the other one.
How about pick me girl?
Huh?
Pick me girl at 79%.
Just pick me girl. Hey, there's a pick me girl over there.
A pick me girl?
A pick me girl.
Okay, uh, honestly, this is just a wild guess.
Okay.
I wanna say, something is easy.
Okay, here's what it means. What does pick me girl mean?
A pick me girl is a woman who obsessively desires male approval and validation, often to the expense of other women.
Despite the word girl being used, the term pick me girl is almost always used to describe an adult woman.
You were close.
Close? That close?
You either got these dead on or you're really, really close.
I'm good at this game, we gotta keep this one going.
I know, I like it extra.
Extra?
Extra.
At 75%.
Over the top. Over the top.
Okay, extra is a slang term used to describe someone or something that is over the top, excessive or dramatic in behavior, appearance or actions.
So yeah, pretty close.
Rob, you're good at this.
Clap back.
I've had a little help this week.
Okay.
My mind's a little clear.
Oh, that's right. Okay. Clap back is 74%.
I don't have a clue.
Okay. Okay, a quick, sharp and effective response to criticism.
There you go.
I wouldn't have got that one either. I was like, I didn't know what the hell it was.
How about gas up?
Gas up is 73%.
Of boomers, realize what this means, and some extras.
I don't know this one. See, you're getting lower and lower.
Okay, yeah, less and less boomers understand this slang.
The common meaning of gasing up is to give fuel.
For example, if we add petroleum to a small burning bottle, after adding it, it will be enlarged. Hence, the meaning of gasing somebody up is to praise someone with a high level only for enlargement of his or her ego.
Alright.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
Alright. This next one is kind of odd. I don't know how to take it.
It's 64%.
Sneaky link.
I know this one.
Okay.
Somebody that cheats.
Close. Real, real close, Rob. Real close.
Alright. Sneaky link is a slam term used to describe a person that someone is secretly hooking up with, and it is commonly used in the context of romantic or sexual relationships.
Urban Dictionary clarifies a sneaky link can be a sexual or non-sexual experience or relationship with somebody else that nobody knows about.
Okay, that's what I was saying. I didn't use the terminology.
Yeah.
That's exactly what, yeah. Yeah, I know that one. Trust me.
Okay, that was good. Okay, it's 61% SUS.
SUS?
SUS. S-U-S.
Oh, S-U-S.
S-U-S. SUS. Like suspect.
Oh, S-U-S.
Suspect?
Mm-hmm. That's what it is. Short for suspicious.
It's most used slang term by teenagers in 2023 according to parents in the survey.
The term gained popularity thanks to an online murder mystery game among us.
About 62% of teenagers use the word SUS to call out questionable behavior or suggest one has a devious motive.
There you go.
Next one.
Basic.
Blame Jane.
I think it's a little bit more in depth than that. I think I kind of know what it is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, all the definitions are going more than what I'm saying.
I think it means like someone like everybody orders like a caramel frappuccino, right?
So that would be basic. It's like you don't order something different. You order what everyone else does.
It's kind of like that, I think is what it means. But we're going to find out here.
Basic is a slang term in American popular culture used primarily to describe people who are perceived to prefer mainstream product, tens of music.
Yep, that's it. And that's at 60%. At 58% drag.
I know what it used to mean. I don't think that's what it means now.
I'm not going there.
No, it means the same. Drag is an acronym for...
I'm keeping my mouth shut.
We're not saying anything derogatory. We have no problem with these people.
I know. I know. I know. I know people who do it.
An acronym for dressed resembling a girl, from which the term drag is said to have originated.
The term is said to date back to Shakespearean times when male theatrical actors would play female roles.
Didn't know that.
Okay, X.
Alright, just saying. Back in the day, I was known to put on a pair of women's panties or two. Just saying.
Okay, that's cool.
That was back in the day.
Bop.
Ooh.
Damn, that one could go anywhere.
Okay, it's slang for to move, go, or proceed, and that's it. 56%.
Huh.
This one I have no clue. FOMO. F-O-M-O.
FOMO. FOMO.
And this is 55%.
I've heard that before. I can't remember what it was though.
Oh, I love this one.
It's simply an abbreviation for fear of missing out.
A worried feeling that you may miss exciting events that other people are going to.
Especially caused by the things you see on social media.
Don't get FOMO. Get a ticket now.
That's great. I like that one.
And that-
Okay, yeah. I have heard that. Like I said, I knew that one. I just couldn't remember what it was.
Okay.
But once you said it, I knew it. Yeah.
54% is bet. B-E-T.
Oh yeah, I know that one.
Yeah. Affirmation, agreement, or approval along the lines of cool or on down.
We've covered that one several times.
Yeah.
And then Chugui at 52%.
Chugui?
Chugui.
C-H-E-U-G-Y.
Oh. I don't have an idea on that one.
Okay. The word pronounced Chugui is used to describe someone who is untrendy, out of date, or trying too hard.
It's basically another way to say basic.
However, some on social media are arguing that there is a self-awareness to Chugui-ness that is far more actualized than basic.
And I agree with them. I think a lot of people who are Chugui chooses- they choose to be Chugui, and they don't like to fit into the mainstream, and that's why they dress like that, or act like that, or all the other stuff.
Okay. I got you now. Yeah.
Okay. All right. And that is the end of the list.
I had just double-heard that terminology.
Yup. Me neither.
That's good to know.
Yeah. All right, man. Well, we are getting towards the end of this podcast. You got anything you want to go into, or you want to save it until tomorrow night?
Hang on. Let me see what I got here.
Okay.
Actually, I think everything else I got, I can save for tomorrow night.
Okay. And tomorrow night, are you going to have the performers that don't wipe well? The top five?
I have one more to go.
Okay. So tomorrow night, a new little contest that we're having. Rob and I are picking the top five performers that we believe don't wipe very well.
Music performers.
Music performers. Yeah. Sorry. Thank you.
So that ought to be nice and fun. So anyhow, thank you everybody for listening. Oh, oh, oh, Rob. We forgot.
No, I did not forget. I was going to get to it a while ago, but you got the talker.
Oh, shit. Sorry. Okay. Hi, Opal. Hi, Jimmy.
Hi, Grandma. Hi, Jimmy.
We love you guys. Dodge City, Kansas. Woo-woo-rah-rah. You guys are awesome.
Thank you for listening, guys. We love you.
Oh, no, so? Hi, Shirley and Topeka, Kansas.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Thank you, Shirley. Come on back to our page again. Say something. I mean, yeah, tell us whatever. Tell us how stupid we look or how handsome we are or whatever.
Just comment on one of the pictures. Whatever.
Thank you, Shirley from Topeka. Is that it?
Yeah, Topeka, Kansas.
Thank you. All righty. Thank you all for listening. Thank you, assholes. Good night.
Good night, assholes.
Hey, where did everybody go? Where are the douchebags?
Oh, my God. Someone took a dump in the corner. Oh, geez.
Oh, geez. Ugh, I'm glad they're gone. Let's just hope they don't come back. Man, that smells.