Live from the historic river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the crystal blue waters of the Missouri River, it's Two Douchebags and a Microphone Podcast.
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We are Two Douchebags and a Microphone.
As charming as a leaky sewer pipe.
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.
Hmm, why is it your brain can remember that you forgot something, but can't remember what it is you forgot?
Hmm, yeah, that's what I'd love to do.
Invisible ass paddlings, new douche flavors, and horrible pranks.
What the fuck is wrong with these guys?
Have you ever wondered where something came from?
Have you ever looked at something and said, I wonder what the origin of that is?
Well, so have we. That's why we give you The Origin Of.
How about origin of cruise ships? The first cruise ship built solely for the purpose of leisure was produced by Albert Ballin of the German Hamburg American Line Company.
Ballin spearheaded the development of shipping company's cruise offerings, culminating in the construction of the cruise ship, Prentissin Victoria Louisa.
A constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
You're as useful as a kindling with fuzz.
Two douchebags and a microphone, I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
Alright, Rob, did you have really nice weather there today like we did?
Oh yeah, it was nice. It was nice and warm. It was a little breezy. But most of my day was on the road anyway.
Okay. Well, did you get any bad weather at all with that cold front that came by that wreaked havoc in Ohio and Indiana?
And even around here with the Gurela Hail is what they call it. Gurela Hail, I guess, evidently is a newer term.
The first person I see use it, I believe, is Reed Timmerman. He's a meteorologist that's online.
And he's a storm chaser. And that day that we did the podcast, I had mentioned that we're under a tornado watch and Dodge said he had bad weather.
Hi Opal.
Yeah, hi grandma. Hi Jimmy.
Hi Jimmy. Anyhow, he started using the word Gurela Hail. And this hail was just like, evidently, it's just like so rogue, it can like go to softball size in no time, go back down to golf ball size.
You know, it's a crazy deal. It's like an intense storm that intensifies suddenly and just starts throwing out these large amount of hail and then maybe pulsate and get smaller.
And I guess Kansas City, Kansas and areas over on that side of the state line up to the north really got hit hard.
People's windshields are out, roofs are damaged or roofs are destroyed. And they had Gurela Hail there and the biggest that they had was tennis size ball.
So, anyhow, but you never did get any of the storms really?
No, I mean we had a little bit of rain the next morning.
We did too. That's what we had here. We got some claps of thunder, probably about a tenth of a train.
Yeah, a little bit of lightning and then it was done. We did not see much out of that.
We didn't either north, north saw it all and that is like north of the river got it all. And anybody south of the river is pretty much shit out of luck.
So, well I mean no, no, no, actually we were in luck because we didn't get the bad weather accompanying the rain.
So I don't need my roof gone, I don't need my windshield out, so we lucked out on that. So, anyhow.
Yeah, you need to save on your insurance premiums.
Yeah, so everybody that is affected by that, yeah that sucks and sorry and I hope you all had insurance that will pay for it.
Another little side note, a couple of days ago.
Okay, okay.
We had an earthquake.
I was just going to throw out there that how I made my living in my teens and twenties and thirties was doing insurance claims on houses.
Oh, okay I didn't know that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, rebuilding after storm damage and fire damage and water damage.
Oh, you were doing restoration?
Yeah.
Oh, I didn't know that, man that is a good thing to know.
Yeah, I did that for years, man.
Wow, you ever think about starting your own business? There is so much work in that.
No, no, it is too much overhead.
I know you know that is why.
I would be better off going to work for another company, but you and I have talked about that.
I am to the age, I am getting over the hard labor end of it.
Well, no, I am talking about you being like a foreman or a production manager or something of that sort.
Yeah, yeah, I could possibly do that if I wanted, maybe.
Oh, well.
Okay, and also along the lines of weather and natural disasters and all that,
we had a 3.5 earthquake just north of KCI two days ago.
Really? How did you not hear about that?
Everybody felt the damn thing but me. Everyone else was like, oh yeah.
I am like, what the hell? I felt nothing.
Oh, of course everybody feels it.
You know what, you are probably right.
As a matter of fact, I almost bet there were four types of butlers that said they felt it.
I felt it down here.
You are right, probably. Or maybe even Montrose.
If it is in the news, they felt it.
Montrose felt it.
Yeah, Montrose, oh yeah, they probably thought the power plant was coming down.
Yeah, coincidentally we have emails, but we probably won't get to them this podcast.
I think we have a lot going on, but if we do, we do. So anyhow.
Yeah, well, in the meantime, I sort of hit the end of the monologue, I miss my boys in Montrose.
Yeah, yeah, well they have more to say like they always do.
Good.
They have been really good about sending me something once a week.
They kind of caught on to the whole gist of the program there.
It is like, okay, don't leave us hanging. Just throw us one every week and we will get to it.
And they know it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Every time, let's see, who is it now? Is it Jeffy now? Or I forgot. They use different names.
Oh, yeah, there is like six or seven of them down there.
It is pretty much the whole town.
Yeah, the town is probably six or seven people and they all let.
Pretty much every one of them.
Well, there goes my readers.
Ah, great way to start the program.
Uh oh, I got a spare pair here if you need them.
I got it. I got them. I picked them out.
All mine, I don't know where they are at. I bought like ten of them.
Two and a half hours away.
At least I offered, man.
Yeah, no, no, no, thank you. I appreciate that.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, out of all my ten readers, I bought this as the last one that remained.
And the only reason I still have it is because I will not take it off my desk in here.
If I took it anywhere else, it would disappear, guaranteed.
So, and that's nobody but me. I'm the one doing it. Val isn't playing tricks on me.
No, it's all me. I'm the one looking at them. I'm responsible.
I believe you.
Okay, thank you.
Good saying, I believe you.
That's fine, Rob.
Okay, we're going to start off with some football again. I mean, why stop now, right?
Oh my God, my first story up is football. How do we do this?
Well, I mean, it's on our minds. We're, you know, I used to be...
We are true football fans.
Yes, I used to not be so nerdy. I'd be like, oh well, the draft's a draft and who cares?
But now I'm looking at all these young receivers and everything and I'm like, wow, you know,
I'm like actually gauging them who I think would fit with our team the best.
Look at their speed, their stat time. This is the stuff that I swore I would never become.
I'm like, oh, I ain't going to get that far into it. I'm just going to be the spectacle fan.
I'm just going to be the guy watching the games and I ain't going any further.
Now I'm nerding out and it pisses me off.
No, I personally have always been a football fan. Now when I was younger in my teenage years,
yes, I was a baseball fan.
Me too, but they sucked.
Until 1986. 1985, Kansas City Royals won the World Series.
And they came out in 1986 and took like last place in our division.
How do you do that? How the hell do you do that? So I got burned out on baseball.
Everybody that played phenomenally the year before played like shit that year.
That's how you do it. I couldn't believe it. Everybody was playing like shit.
About the only guy that played okay was George Brett and maybe Brett Saberhagen
might have been playing good too.
And they were able to end their career.
Yeah, the next year we shipped off Saberhagen to the Mets I believe for a trade.
Yeah, something like that.
Got a couple of tomato cans and a kick in the ass for them.
Okay, former Baltimore Ravens and Arizona Cardinals wide receiver Marquise Hollywood Brown
is expected to sign a one year deal worth up to $11 million with the Kansas City Chiefs.
Sources told ESPN's Adam Schefter on Thursday night.
Well they sent, since I printed out this article, they have signed him.
I was going to let you get further into it, but I was going to let you know my son
that faked me just a while ago, he has signed.
Yes, which is a great move. Because this is, he's younger than Scantling was.
He can catch the ball, he's faster than Scantling.
And I think it's a great up. I think this guy's high point is considerably higher than Scantling was.
And that's why they chose to not rehire Scantling and to go with the Hollywood Brown.
This move gives quarterback Patrick Mahomes the upgrade at wide receiver.
And the team had been searching for it since the Super Bowl.
And you know, I mean, yeah, their defense is probably going to be good enough again to repeat next year.
But why go through all that shit? I mean, if you can grade up on your receivers and Mahomes,
I mean, you know, we don't want to do home games anymore, you know, or away games anymore.
We want to keep it going through arrowhead.
But although I mean, it didn't matter, they still rolled up. They rolled everybody.
The Chiefs beat the San Francisco 49ers for their second straight Lombardi Trophy last month,
despite one of the least productive wide receiver groups in NFL.
Rookie Rashi Rice, 79 catches, 938 yards, seven touchdowns, developed into a strong option in the passing game.
Yes, he has. But the Chiefs otherwise were left to rely on journeymen and stop gaps as they closed on another title.
Mahomes completed 77 percent of his passes with six passing touchdowns and no interceptions when targeting Rice.
That number dropped to 57 percent when targeting any other wide receiver,
as well as more interceptions, nine than touchdowns, six.
You hear that? Probably the greatest player ever.
Nine interceptions and six touchdowns and 57 percent passing percentage.
That tells you how bad they were.
The drop rate of all the other receivers outside of Rice was well over three times as high,
three percent to ten percent, as the Chiefs dropped more passes than any other team last season.
So that picture right there tells a complete story, doesn't it?
Yeah.
And then for others going on, Derek Noddy signed a one-year deal with the Chiefs,
and Jimmy Garoppolo, the guy we beat in the first Super Bowl that we played in, has signed with the L.A. Rams.
So the only way we're going to see him is if we see the...
Well, I don't know what their schedule is next year.
But I also think he's going to be a backup, obviously.
So I think he doesn't care.
I think he's like, you know what, I'm in the NFL making great money,
so I just get to hang out in sunny California and not fucking worry about it, right?
Yeah.
All right, Rob, you got something you want to go into?
Yeah, yeah, I'm going to go into football and myself.
Okay.
Former Los Angeles...not Los Angeles, I am sorry, Las Vegas Raiders.
Okay.
Head coach John Green has returned to the gridiron.
I could throw away my story now. That was the next one I was going into. Go ahead.
Go ahead.
Well, sort of.
Oh, okay.
On Wednesday it was announced that Gruden is joining the Milano Seamen of the European League of Football.
The franchise is well known for being five-time Italian Bowl champions.
Gruden is taking on an advisor with the Seamen.
We're excited to announce that American football legend John Gruden will work with us as advisor.
The team said Gruden won in 2002 Super Bowl with Tampa Bay.
Gruden will help us to improve our organization in every aspect.
He already started to work with our coaching staff.
Yep. Wow. You know...
Well, evidently they didn't watch him with the Raiders.
Okay.
Just saying.
Yeah, 2002 Super Bowl. That was...
I agree with 100%.
...21, 22 years ago.
He lost his edge, I agree. I don't think he identifies with the younger players very well.
Besides some of the comments that he said may not sit well with some of the players.
And also, look, everything all aside, what he said and all that stuff was not cool.
Not at all. Not to offend him at all.
No, no, no it was not.
He did get railroaded. There was a lot of people that had that kind of language before and have done stuff that could throw them in the same boat.
And he didn't rat him. He did not rat him out.
I mean, they made Dan Snyder give up his team.
But he did kind of get the shaft.
Because the reason is, is other people that are guilty of the same thing are still in the NFL.
And that's what I'm going by right there.
No, no, you're right. You're right.
That's probably why he's in the European League now.
It is. He's got nothing else to do because he's pretty much been...
He's got to get out of the NFL for a while.
Yeah, he got whatever... I forgot what they call it.
Anyhow, yeah, he is pretty much gone from the NFL and that's what he's doing now.
So you know what? He may not mind living in Europe anyhow. So who knows?
So alright, Johnny boy. Good luck to you.
I've got an interesting little story here, Rob, that I cracked up when I read it.
Okay. Man's last meal on death row was literally his last breath.
Clark Fronsetta was scheduled to be executed on March 1st.
Clark has ordered his last meal, which included a Whataburger, double cheese,
with fried green beans from his favorite bar and grill, and he wanted a vegetable medley with the food.
The vegetable medley contained peanuts and Clark had no idea he was definitely allergic to said peanuts.
It was two spoons in when he went into anaphylactic shock and passed it away.
Turns out no one had an EpiPen in the whole building.
Oh my God! A whole building full of people and nobody asked for an EpiPen.
Yeah, and they know they're going to...he was getting ready to be executed in a couple hours, right?
And he had his last meal and nobody had an EpiPen anywhere around.
So they didn't get to execute him. I'll go on here.
The paramedics were not there yet because he was scheduled to be put to death in two hours later.
I get it. I get it.
Some people have a theory that he knew that he was death-like allergic and would go into anaphylactic shock,
and he did it on purpose. He was trying to die before they could do it.
But, I mean, how are you going to prove something like that, you know?
Yeah, the guy's dead.
I don't believe that he did that, and here's why.
The allergic to peanuts would be in his record, right?
Right, right. Yes.
It would be, even in prison. I know that, but if I...
...took my brother working for a prison.
So I don't believe that for one minute. I think the people that are saying that are reaching and trying to make something out of it.
No, I think the dumbass liked the salad or heard it was good from somewhere,
or maybe possibly ordered the wrong salad and had no idea it had peanuts in it.
And also, another thing is, you know, wouldn't he have seen...
I mean, you know what? I don't know. Maybe they are right. Maybe he saw the peanuts and decided to go on his own.
You know, you think he would see the peanuts, right?
Yeah, you never know. Yeah, but you would think he would know.
Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. No, he didn't know.
He didn't know he was allergic to them. That's why he ate the peanuts.
Oh. Okay, that's right. Okay.
Pretty interesting. Yeah.
So anyhow, whatever you call it, natural selection...
Can you call that karma?
Karma, yes. There was a lot more to the article. I believe he was scheduled to be put to death in Indiana, maybe.
Anyhow, I just kind of took a little bit of it because I didn't want to go on and on about the logistics and what he'd done.
But what he'd done was like, he flipped out and like killed his wife and his kids and then somebody that was knocking on the door and heard the screams and anyhow.
So the guy definitely deserved what he was getting. He was a stone cold killer and he killed like four or five people, including his close family members.
So he deserved the death penalty in my opinion, but they didn't get to him because the peanuts got him instead.
Honestly, it was probably an easier way out.
Yes, let's give the peanuts a round of applause.
Compared to what he was about to get.
Absolutely. Let's give the peanuts a round of applause, Rob.
Yes. Good job, peanuts. Yay.
They saved us, I don't know, whatever gas or lethal injection or whatever they do. If it was Indiana, I don't know. Anyhow.
Let's take our... Save the state money.
Yeah, yeah. So yeah. So thank you. Thank you, dumbass, for going out on your own accord, even though you probably didn't know it.
Alrighty, we will be right back in a couple of minutes with more.
Two monkey fuckers and a toaster will be right back.
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Oh shit, what's that over there? Oh no, it's the island of horrible jokes.
What do you call a bundle of hay in church? Christian Bail.
Two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark.
And I am Rob.
This just in, Rob. We've got a nipple tweak, nut flick and an ear tug.
That sound good?
Yes.
Oh cool, I have my people ready.
I have my people ready too, they're right here, itching to go.
Okay, this is what it is in case someone has not heard the segments where we've done it before.
This is playful, not meaning to hurt anybody, just playing around.
To someone you want to do it to just to see their reaction basically, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, you walk up and yank them.
Kind of.
Okay, well alright, maybe Rob has some.
As long as it's not malicious.
Yes, yeah. So like.
Why are they starting something just not malicious?
Yeah, yeah, it depends on how the people take it and if they know you or not.
None of these people know me so they may not like it.
So, alright. First off, my nipple tweak is Al Michaels.
I want to get those old saggy breasts of his and just.
Just see the look on his face after I do it.
Call me nuts, whatever. It sounds fun, doesn't it Rob?
Wait till you hear mine.
Okay. The nut flick. Now I got to do this and run.
The nut flick is Henry Rollins.
Oh!
Now he might go berserk and like beat the shit out of me.
Yeah, he'll probably freak out on me.
So, you know what? I'll do it when we're doing our invisible ass paddling.
That way you can't see me.
There we go. Okay. Henry Rollins will get an invisible nut flick.
No ass paddling, ends are bad.
That's a good one man. That is a good one.
And then the ear tug, Dana Carvey because he's probably lonely.
You mean the nipple yank?
Is that what I had left? No, the nipple tweak.
You said it. Alright, I thought you just said ear tug.
Ear tug is Dana Carvey.
Wait a minute, what did you have? I'm sorry.
Well, we were doing nut flick, ass bite, nipple yank.
Oh, ass bite, I'm sorry, I wrote ear tug.
Ass bite, Dana Carvey. That's what it's always been.
I know, I'm sorry. Okay, the ass bite is Dana Carvey because he's probably lonely.
Thank you Rob.
No, you're cool, you're cool. I understand that. I understand Dana Carvey being on that.
Yeah, and I don't know why I wrote down ear tug.
And anyhow, I just got done saying it three times until I caught what you were saying.
So anyhow, Rob, it goes to you because I'm obviously not capable of carrying this thing out, I guess.
Okay.
Okay, my first one, the nut flick.
My nut flick goes to Elon Musk.
Oh, good choice, good choice.
No, no, no, listen, see, I was listening to Bubba Love Spoons the other day and I got this idea.
Were you getting into the show now?
A little bit, but I had this idea.
Okay.
You know how Elon Musk and Zeph were going to have that fight?
Yes.
But it never happened.
Nope.
Well, I was thinking if I could flick Elon Musk in the nuts, it may bring him up and up the fight.
And with me being a new celebrity because of this show, we could have our own expedition match.
Oh, yeah.
Elon Musk versus Rob Ratt.
Oh, yeah. I love it.
Let's see if Elon can fight. I'll flick him in the nuts. I just want to know if he can fight.
Yeah, you know what, that's a great way to find out.
Right there, it's not malicious.
No, but you got to defend your nuts.
He just brought our attention when he was talking to Mark Zuckerberg about fighting him.
I want to find out.
Didn't that make him look horrible?
No, it doesn't look pussy. That's why I'm willing to do it.
Yeah, all right. Good. He deserves one.
Okay, I ask by Mark Ruffalo.
You might get a mouthful in here.
No, do you know why? Do you see why I'm going here?
No, why? I think I think him for the last part because he is one of my contestants on my area.
Yeah, I want to know what kind of competition he really is.
Oh, okay.
Give me a chance to get sneaky.
Dude, that was a sneaky little way to find it out.
Yeah, yeah.
I respect that greatly. Good job.
Good detective sleuth work. You're awesome.
Okay, am I a nipple, Jerry? Come on, man.
Okay.
Miss Daisy Duke, Katherine Bach. Just saying.
You know what?
Leaving that one right there.
Okay, we'll just put it for no apparent reason. There we go. How's it?
Yeah, no apparent reason.
No apparent reason. That's why. So anyhow.
All right, I believe we have another Harry asshole Olympics battle coming up.
Yes, we do.
Let me explain to this for people who don't realize what's about ready to happen.
Rob and I devised this, what would you say, maybe three quarters of a year ago maybe?
No, my first episode was May 29th of last year.
Okay, okay. So it was really close to the inception of this program.
It's always been called two douchebags and microphone, but Rob joined me, when was it? Last year?
May 29th.
As co-host, I was making call-ins before that.
We have quite a few episodes of you being a call-in.
We used to have Rob call in because we used to do our show on Saturdays a lot.
That's when I had Saturdays off and we used to go from the city market and Rob would call in.
Antofor was there. I would talk to Mark Antofor.
Yeah, yeah. But this inception of the program is Rob and I.
And so it wasn't long after the inception we came up with this idea and we're very proud of it.
This is simply putting off two people that are famous, whether they're musicians, rock stars, wrestlers, football players, whatever.
They could be villains, I don't know, whatever.
We are trying to pick who we think would have the hairiest asshole and we have them battle it off.
I'll take my guy, who I pick, we pick ten guys each segment and then we'll pit them against each other in one musician or band.
So Rob has got the winners of the last one and we're going to pit them against each other and see who's going to come out in the finals or the semi-finals.
Okay, I have a question for you Mark.
Yes.
Do you have, we agreed on our last one which was a while back.
Yes.
Do you have your wild card ready? We were both going to bring in our wild cards.
Yes I do. I've got the wild card right here itching to throw them in.
Mine's ready too.
Okay. Are we doing it first or are we doing the wild card last?
Wild card will be last.
Okay, alrighty. Let's throw the first contestants out Rob.
Okay, first up, your Duluth trading guy.
If anyone doesn't know what that is, that's a cartoon guy that keeps putting his pants in a vice, his underwear in a vice and all that for Duluth Trading Company.
Who is badass for this competition.
Yes he is. He's a very hairy lumberjack looking guy. So I imagine his ass hairs are crazy.
Okay and he is against?
Versus Mark Ruffalo.
Oh.
Well you tell me, you're the one that bit Mark Ruffalo's ass.
No, that's the thing, I haven't yet.
Oh you haven't yet?
No, no, he'd eat, yeah, that's if we could.
Yeah, okay.
Well, honestly?
Yeah go ahead.
I'm going to go with Mr. Duluth.
Okay, cool. That sounds reasonable, because he is crazy hairy.
That guy is a lumberjack. Holy shit dude. I've been watching a lot of ass men.
Oh yeah, they are.
They really are.
Yes, yes they are.
Okay, alright, so we have the Duluth Trading guy beating Mark Ruffalo.
Yep.
Okay.
Next up, you're Chris Stapleton versus Bill Winkle.
Oh, well Bill Winkle obviously has a lot of hair because he is a moose, right?
He's a moose, shit's in the woods.
Yeah, I love it.
Okay, I'm sure Chris Stapleton comes close.
Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and go with Bill Winkle because we can prove his hair.
But we can't really prove Chris Stapleton as strong as a candidate as he is.
Maybe I can use my save card and maybe I will.
But as of right now, I think...
Your choice, I'm going to use my save.
Okay, Bill Winkle wins and I'm going to put my save card in for Chris Stapleton.
You want to save him?
I want to save him.
Okay, I wrote him down and saved.
Okay.
Okay, and last.
Yes.
You're David Letterman after his show.
Yes.
Versus Zach Galifianakis.
Oh.
Wow.
That is a tough one because if anyone has seen David Letterman as of right now in the last 10 years, he is hairy all over the place.
But I'm going to go with Zach and here's why.
As you get older, as Topher pointed out, you lose ass hairs and hairs on your back and all that stuff.
So, David Letterman is kind of...
I'm starting to find that out, honestly.
Yep, same here.
So, because you lose hair as you get older, I'm going to have to go with Zach G.
Not...yeah.
Okay, I'll give you that one.
Okay.
I mean, David is a strong competitor on that.
But like you said, the age.
Yes.
Other than that, I think I would have picked David Letterman just because he's got such a strong...he's got a better beard game than Zach G does.
Yeah, he just went all wild after the show.
Yeah, he went berserk.
I mean, he's got hair everywhere.
He's got hair on his fucking eyeballs.
It's crazy.
So, okay, there we go.
How about if we both flip out our wild card now?
I'm ready.
Okay, I'm ready. Rob, go ahead.
I came up with him, the other guys. We were talking about him on the show. I wrote it down as we were talking.
Oh, no. I know who it is because I got the same guy. Go ahead.
Mr. Willie Nelson.
Oh, no, no, it's not the same guy. Okay.
Mr. Willie Nelson. No, we were talking about him.
We were talking about him because he's going to be in concert here.
It was my story about how he was going downhill and how he's always sitting on a stool during the concert.
And when we were talking about that, I'm thinking, dude, perfect for hairy ass.
He is. I can't believe he wasn't that...
Mr. Willie Nelson, the hippie, the... yeah. And now he doesn't have a sit there. Perfect.
Awesome. Okay, mine is Sasquatch. That's right, Bigfoot.
Oh, dude.
Oh, yeah.
I got to go with Sasquatch and here's why.
Willie Nelson's old. He probably lost a lot of his ass hairs.
We can prove Sasquatch has hairy asshole.
So I'm going to go with Sasquatch just because.
Come on, man. Sasquatch has hairy ass.
Now you know why I've been just chopping the fucking...
Oh, no, he's like Bull Eagle.
Yes. Yes.
Oh, my God. Okay. Okay. Bigfoot gets it.
Now you know why I couldn't wait to fucking get to him.
I was like, man, I'm going to kick Rob's ass with this guy.
Dude, this is our fourth season. All four seasons I've been wanting to pull that way out, but I haven't.
All right. So who do we have left here?
Oh, that's awesome. That was awesome.
Okay. Who do we have left here?
That's it. That's it.
That's it. No, I mean the winners.
Your remainers. Duluth the trading guy and Sasquatch.
Uh-huh.
Again, Bull Eagle and Zach Galifianakis.
And one save, Chris Stapleton.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're safe.
Yeah, but he comes back on the next one. So he's out on this one because he lost.
But I saved him and he'll come back the next episode.
We may have a three-man rumble.
Oh, all right. We'll have the two pitted off and then we'll take the winner.
Because of the numbers. Because of the numbers.
We can do that. I actually think that's pretty cool.
We'll have like a three-man rumble and a cage match. None of them can leave.
And then the first two will pit off. And then the third one will get whoever's left.
Shit. Shit.
We have the ultimate three-man rumble.
But man, that's gotta be saved for the final.
That would be a final battle.
The final battle, the three-man cage match sounds great to me.
All right, Rob, do you have anything, a story you want to go into here?
I don't know. Let me grab myself.
I got something I can go into. That's fine.
Yeah, yeah. I'll grab my notebook.
I'll grab my phone and go back and do it.
I've got another somewhat football story.
Kansas City, Missouri. Kansas City Chief Star Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelsey have announced a new steakhouse to open in 2025 inside the Kansas City Hotel.
On Thursday...
I know. On Thursday, Noble 33...
That was one of mine.
Ha ha ha.
Well, you got mine right off the bat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're even tonight. We're even.
Yes, we're even. We never discuss what we're going to talk about on the program ahead of time.
No, we do not.
And we love it like that. We think it adds an element of like, oh, you bastard, you stole my story. We love that.
I think we just get the same news stories.
We do. We got the same news feed because we look for bizarre shit in our computer notes.
So, um, anyhow, where was I? Okay. On Thursday, Noble 33 announced his partnership with the Super Bowl champions.
The teammates are set to launch a modern American steakhouse in Kansas City called 1587 Prime.
Kelsey Jam Festival will return to the Kansas City area in 2024. The steakhouse will open at the Lowe's Hotel in Kansas City in early 2025.
Noble 33 said 1587 Prime will have street-level access spanning nearly 10,000 square feet across two floors.
And why I talked about Kelsey Jam in the middle of that article, I have no idea.
So, Rob, the floor is yours.
Okay, um, jump into this one.
Alrighty. Go first.
You know, I have not had much of a chance to go over it.
Okay. Well, mine, I just like, I just mentioned Kelsey Jam for no reason. It was inserted in the article for no fucking reason. I'm like, okay.
Anyhow, go ahead.
Well, I got one pulled up a few minutes ago.
Oh, okay. That's all right.
That's all right. We're even tonight.
We're even. We stole each other's story and are damn happy about it.
Well, we didn't steal it.
That is not known. That's already destroyed it. That is not known.
Yep.
Okay. Ten questions you should never answer if the police pull you over.
Oh, all right. Everybody take heed. Not that our listeners are criminals or nothing, but you know.
No, no, no, no. I mean, a lot of this makes sense.
No, I mean, you never know, man. So go ahead.
Okay. Well, this tells you how to back yourself up.
Okay. That's a good one. Go ahead. This is actually really important.
Can I search your car?
The Fourth Amendment, the guardian of our personal spaces.
Remember, unless there's probable cause, you have the right to politely decline a search of your vehicle.
That's cool. And does it say anything more about that? Does it elaborate or not?
No. If the police do not have a warrant, they cannot search you or your car without your consent.
You see, people get afraid, but the deal is they may not get granted access.
A judge may not be available to give them a search warrant for probable cause or nothing.
So chances are, if you don't want them looking through your stuff, you can probably get away with it.
I mean, not that you're doing anything wrong. It's just if you don't feel like partaking, you can probably just say, no, I don't want you to do that.
And like it's a 50-50 shot, whether they can do it or not.
It's better than, you know, just giving it up and going, yeah, go ahead and look.
Okay. Next. Where are you coming from?
I always thought that was a bullshit question. What business are there if you didn't do anything wrong?
That's where this goes.
While it might appear as casual chit chat, answering this query can have unintended implications.
Law enforcement might use your response to build a case around the idea that you were in a location associated with illegal activity.
Under the Fifth Amendment, you have the right to remain silent and not offer any information.
Cool.
Next. Have you been drinking?
This is a good one.
There's no right answer to this question, acknowledging that you have even had one drink, to give the police reason to instil a field sobriety test or delve into further investigation.
On the flip side, lying could lead to other complications if subsequent testing shows alcohol in the system.
Fifth Amendment to letting us remain silent to avoid self-incrimination, trust your constitutional wingman.
That's cool.
So I guess the Fifth Amendment could cover you on that one.
That's good to know. I mean not that a drink can drive, but that's good to know.
Right, right, right. Do you know why I pulled you over?
That is a bullshit question. Because then, no, I'm sorry, go ahead.
This question seems innocent enough, but answering it could be a legal minefield.
The officer is not just making small talk. Your response could be seen as an admission to guilt, making it easier to justify a ticket or further investigation.
Your right to avoid self-incrimination comes into play here.
While you do have to provide identification, you don't have to volunteer any information that might lead to your own legal jeopardy.
Okay. That is a bullshit question because how you answer they can say in court, oh yeah, I was going 90, I knew I was going 90. Why admit it? Make them prove it.
Right, exactly. Next, do you have any weapons in the car?
Yep.
The officer may be trying to gauge the level of risk involved in the stop. Okay, I see that. I see that and I understand that.
I understand it.
By admitting having a weapon in the vehicle, might give them the pretext to search a car without a warrant, which would lead to moral complications.
The Fourth Amendment protects against unreasonable searches and seizures. And the Second Amendment upholds your right to bear arms.
That's cool to know.
Yeah. Number six, who is the person with you?
Oh wow, okay.
You are not required to disclose the identity or relationship of passengers in your vehicle.
According to the Fifth Amendment, you have the right to remain silent to avoid self-incrimination and this extends to identifying others who might be indicated in a perceived legal issue.
Wow, okay, that's cool.
So yeah, I don't know who that person is.
Yeah, yeah, yep.
I played the fifth.
Yeah, that's a great answer. I don't know. You find out. Ask him.
Yeah.
You know what, I think I know. Why don't you ask him who he is?
They're over 18. They're legal adults.
They speak English. Go ahead, feel free.
Yeah. Next up, is this your current address?
Okay.
Some may argue that you're obligated to provide identification.
If you're giving more details, then that might not be necessary. Tread carefully. The Fourth Amendment protects against unreasonable searches and seizures.
Sharing your address could potentially give law enforcement additional avenues for investigation or surveillance that you're not legally obligated to provide.
Cool.
It's best to remember that you have the right to remain silent under the Fifth.
Wow.
You see, they keep dropping to the Fourth and Fifth.
I know. This is great. You know, the right for arms and also the right to remain silent.
You see where this is going?
Oh, yeah.
Go ahead, Rob.
Number eight. Have you ever been arrested?
Although it may seem like casual conversation, your answer could be used against you in various ways.
Well, they have all that information right there.
Exactly. And this kind of goes into that, but it also, of course, goes into the Fifth Amendment about self-incrimination.
You see, I always want to ask them this. Whenever they go, have you ever been arrested? I'll go, small talk, right? Have you?
See how they answer.
Yeah. Yeah.
We're just making small talk. What about you? Yeah.
They may not like that.
Okay. Next up, where are you going?
That's a bullshit question.
And this is a quick answer. Quick answer.
This question is a trap. The police are trying to see if you will admit to having a plan to commit a crime. Take the Fifth and remain silent.
There you go. Man. Go ahead. Well, I think we see where all these are going.
And lastly, what are you doing in this neighborhood?
Yeah, booyah.
It's the one that's often a hot button issue because it can carry indications of racial profiling or discriminatory policy.
Yeah, you know what? That is so... Go ahead. I'm sorry.
The Fourteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution grants your equal protection under the law, which means you shouldn't be questioned purely based on your appearance or the neighborhood you're in. The Fifth Amendment also protects you from self-incrimination.
You know, remember how many times we used to get that because we had long hair?
First, second, cop, and then...
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We go down to Seventh Avenue.
Okay. At that time, starting to become a black neighborhood, we got all kinds of looks. We got all kinds of trouble. The way we looked, we looked like headbangers, troublemakers.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, I see where you're going.
Yeah. Yeah, you see, one of the things is this right here. Okay. Where are you going? Like, is a double-edged sword because, like...
Basically, what they're saying to us is, this is a rich neighborhood. You are poor headbangers. What are you doing here? You must be here to rob it. You can't just be driving through it for no apparent reason, right?
Yeah, but the funny thing was, I was there to mow the lawns or something.
No, I know. And I used to get that shit all the time, too. You used to piss me off. It's like, what? Is this street only for the wealthy? If that's true, let me know. I'll turn around. I'll go the other way.
Now, that used to piss me off, that question, because it's like, what? I can't come through here? Because I got no Dodge Dart that doesn't go in reverse? Is that why? I might leak a little oil on their sacred grounds? You know, anyhow. All right, thank you, Rob. That's a great...
No, I understand. Yeah, I thought that was a pretty good article myself.
That is a really good article. All righty, let's take our second break, and we'll be right back in a little bit. Sound good?
Yeah, yeah. That's great.
Then it's a plan.
The apocalypse just happened. You don't know what to do. You don't know where to go. But we can tell you what you can eat.
During an apocalypse, don't forget the nuts. Hickory nuts, that is. Yeah, we know. Hickory wood gets all the glory and all the love. Everyone loves the hickory trees. They cut them down, and they make great sandwiches out of barbecue and meats. They smoke them, and it's a fantastic deal.
But little does anyone know about the hickory nuts. During an apocalypse, hickory nuts could be the best thing you could find.
Hickory nuts can be eaten raw, toasted, or added to various recipes. Their rich, buttery flavor and crunchy texture make them an ideal ingredient for both sweet and savory dishes.
You can use hickory nuts to make nut butter, pesto, or even a unique hickory nut milk. There are five types of hickory nuts.
Bitter nut hickory, shag bark hickory, pig nut hickory, mockernut hickory, and smooth bark hickory.
Hickory trees are considered part of the walnut species and are plentiful at least around Missouri and surrounding areas. So during an apocalypse, don't forget to grab your nuts.
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.
If a tomato is a fruit, then does that mean ketchup is actually a jam?
Hmph. I may never know.
A lot of podcasts just come from a can. Here at Two Dish Bags and a Microphone, we pour our own podcasts.
Now it's time for Pick Up Lines from a Loser.
Can you take me to the hospital? I just broke my leg falling for you.
Waaah, wah, wah, wah.
Oh shit, what's that over there? Oh no, it's island of horrible jokes.
I asked my date to meet me at the gym. She didn't show up. I guess we're not going to work out.
Remember to bleach your bluetooth after every show.
Where did podcasts originate? The term was first coined by Ben Hammersley, a writer for The Guardian in 2004 by combining the words iPod and broadcasting.
In 2005, Steve Jobs, founder of Apple, introduced the idea of subscribing to a podcast by building the concept into the iTunes interface.
Who made the first podcast ever? 2004, Adam Curry and Dave Weiner are accredited with the invention of podcasting.
Who exactly did what is up for dispute? But in the end, these are the two guys who got it rolling.
The term podcasting was mentioned by Ben Hammersley in The Guardian newspaper article.
This is two douchebags in a microphone. I'm Mark. And I'm Rob. Okay, I've got a couple of easier articles here.
How about Dirty Queen's Summer Blizzards are coming out with? Well, sounds good.
Yeah, hell yeah. Go down and see. You can't say how I got a Dirty Queen right down the street.
Okay, yeah, yeah, we got a Dirty Queen really close now to a brand new one. Pretty happy about that.
However, the Freddy's here sucks ass. Can't go to Freddy's here. It's horrible.
So anyhow, the Dirty Queen Summer Blizzard menu drops on April 1st with three new blizzards. And this is not an April Fool's Day joke.
The Instagram user said, there are three brand new flavors. Peanut butter cookie dough party. Ooh, I'm in. What about you?
There we go. Peanut butter cookie. Ice cream. Yep.
This next one, listen Rob, oh my God, ultimate cookie. Oreo, Chips Ahoy, and Nutter Butter. Oh.
Oh my God. I heard angels sing when I said that, didn't you?
I heard the trumpets blare. Oh man. Oh that, phew. That sounds better.
Revelation just truly hid us. That sounds better than buttered sausage. In a good way.
Next one, Picnic is the name of it. Picnic Blizzard. And it's Peach Cobbler.
Eh, okay. I like, sounds good. I could see that. I could see that. I think it would be good. I think it would be good.
Next one. There's a new thing coming up. Chick-fil-A is opening a new store with no chairs, tables, or order counters.
Isn't that crazy? Yes. It's just all, just one, just one big drive-thru and that's it.
Okay. They have three old favorites returning. And this is Shakes.
Frosted animal cookie, brownie batter, and cotton candy.
And the thing about the Chick-fil-A that's opening up is it's a double decker.
Upstairs is where they prepare your food.
Downstairs is a kiosk. So you go in there, type in your order, pay for it, and they're upstairs in the upper deck.
And they shoot the food down to you. Oh wow. Yeah. Pretty interesting concept.
If you're interested in it, take a look at it because I'm not doing it justice by what I'm saying.
Eh, I'll look it up and I'll still take a look. Okay. I know that. Alright. Cool. I'll have faith in you.
Alright. Thank you. And next one. Taco Bell is heating up their offerings with new Cantina Chicken Menu.
On Thursday, the fast food chain unveiled five new chicken-charged menu items that will be available at locations starting March 21st.
So it's available now. No, no, it's not the 21st yet.
All the new dishes feature slow-roasted chicken with Mexican spices and they come with the company's new avocado-verde salsa,
which is made from tomatotillos, I think that's how you pronounce it, or tomatotillos, green chili peppers, and avocado.
Starting with the Cantina... It actually sounds pretty good. It does, don't it? Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Yeah.
Starting with the Cantina Chicken Crispy Taco, the new dish is made with chicken, creamy jalapeno sauce, and a three-cheese blend.
The outside of the tortilla is covered in a layer of grilled cheese and paired with the avocado salsa.
Oh, do you want those grilled cheese things from Taco Bell? Yes. I think that sounds great. Oh, yeah, that sounds awesome.
Oh, yeah. I'm going to get me one of them. The 21st or so. Yeah, I'm going to try that.
Starting with the Cantina Chicken Crispy Taco, the new dish is made with chicken... Oh no, I already read that.
Rewards members can try the Crispy Taco for free from March 21st to April 4th.
There's no purchase required, but you need to have been an existing rewards member as of February 9th to get the coupon.
So you can't sneak in there and get the coupon now, so there you go.
Another exciting menu addition is the Cantina Chicken Quesadilla. That sounds good, don't it? Yes.
Made with a flour tortilla chicken, a layer of three-cheese blend, creamy chipotle sauce, the Quesadillas crisp up to perfection with grilled cheese on the outside.
Per release. It's served with guacamole, sour cream, and the same new salsa, Rob. Oh, that sounds awesome. Hell yeah. I'm there.
Alright, Rob, you got something you want to go into. Well, if it's true on food, I might as well stay on food. Hell yeah, that's what we do.
And today is March 16th, and Easter is coming up. Yep. So this is a good story to know for Easter.
Yeah, Easter is like what, two weeks away? Yeah, something like that.
It's the Five Golden Rules of Deviled Eggs. Oh, I love this.
Step one. True fact, the best way to boil eggs is actually not to boil them at all.
Steaming is faster and more efficient because you don't need to use as much water or weight for them to boil.
If you don't have a steaming basket, don't worry. Just add a half-inch of water to a large pan and bring it to a simmer over high heat.
Add the eggs, cover the pan, reduce the heat to medium-low, and steam for ten minutes before carefully moving the eggs and letting them cool out of the pan.
Which I've also heard that by steaming them, they're easier to peel too. I've heard that too actually. I've heard that. I have too.
Okay, step number two. Whip the yolks with a hand mixer. You can make an acceptable deviled egg by simply mashing the yolks in a bowl with the other filling ingredients.
But if you want to make a truly next-level version, you've got to use a hand mixer.
Blending the filling mechanically ensures that it's super smooth, but it also works air into the filling, giving it a lightness to balance out the richness from the yolk.
You see, that's how any other fatty goodness you decide to throw in there.
Oh yeah, I guarantee it. Those stuff's whipped. I mean, those stuff's done with machines.
I've watched my grandma, my mom, everybody just take a fork and just mash the stuff. They're saying use the mixer.
I can believe it. That makes a lot of sense.
Okay, third. Spicing acid or tea.
An acid? Okay.
Spicing acid. Let's be real. Deviled eggs are incredibly rich. That's why everyone loves them so much.
But if you're going to be whipping egg yolks with mayo, you need acid spice and acidity to balance it all out.
How do you add acidity, does it say?
Do I?
How do you add acidity? Is that like citric acid or something? Like putting some lemon in it or something?
I'm generally going to.
Assistant Pete at her friend's sister's vanie likes a little smokiness, so she recommends paprika.
Okay.
Everybody's sort of putting paprika on their deviled eggs.
Oh, I love it. I'll put it over the top of it actually, just sprinkle it.
Well, they carry on with this.
To their bric-tation, let's mix in relish or chopped pickles.
And mustard is a classic addition. They can also bring a lot of acidity.
Oh, okay.
They're adding acid and the spice.
Okay.
Especially if you use Dijon.
Yeah.
Which can often be punchy depending on the brand.
Yeah.
And you should throw in to amp up those yolks, make sure there's a little heat and a little cane to cut through the fat.
Cool.
So, that's why you add all the ingredients.
Okay. Never knew that, now I do.
To give it a taste, but to break the acidity and stuff.
Okay. Wow. That's cool.
Wow, that's cool.
Uh, next tip.
Use a piping bag with a rigid tip.
Okay, piping bag?
Not familiar.
Okay.
Your dolly's might have a filling
that's rich and light as air.
But if they don't look special,
you might not get a second look.
There's no way around it.
You've got to get that filling in a piping bag.
I highly recommend using a rigid piping tip.
Pull as opposed as a straight round one.
Otherwise, you risk the top of the eggs
looking like the infamous poop emoji.
Okay, Mark, a piping bag, since you don't know.
Okay.
Now,
it's one of the bags that you use like cake decorating.
Oh, okay.
You spread the icing with.
Okay, that makes sense.
So what you do is you put your filling in it,
and they suggest a rigid.
That way, when you fill it, it leaves some ridges.
It gives it a little look.
That's how they do that.
Instead of being clumped there, you know.
Okay, that makes sense.
That's how they do that, okay.
It's for looks.
Yeah, okay, cosmetic.
That's cool.
I understand that.
Yeah, yeah.
You know how you make like the little flowers
with the icing bag?
Yes.
That's what they're talking about doing
with the egg filling,
and they're showing some eggs just like that.
Interesting.
Very cool.
Yeah.
All right.
Thank you, Rob.
And then, finally.
Oh, there's another one.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, last one.
Okay.
Last one yet.
All right.
Go over the top with the toppings.
Okay.
In other words, add anything you want.
Paprika.
They mentioned crispy bacon.
Oh, yeah.
Finely sliced chives.
Yeah, I can see that.
A few capers.
Finely sliced pickles.
Diced jalapenos.
Or even a little
prosciutto.
Or smoked salmon.
Okay, cool.
Okay.
Yeah, just add anything you want to.
Okay.
Wow.
That's pretty cool.
I never even gave it that much thought,
but all those ways that they're telling you
are so simple.
Yeah, yeah.
And honestly,
I think I'm gonna try the steaming the eggs.
Because I always have a hard time peeling, you know.
Yeah, me too.
But supposedly this helps with peeling it.
And also, I think it's easier in boiling them too.
Yeah, yeah.
So.
Okay, cool.
And I'd say it takes like 10 minutes.
Nice.
Okay, all right.
Thank you, Rob.
Well, I guess this podcast about over
will roll well over the hour mark.
So anyhow, thank you, Rob.
We will be doing another one tomorrow night.
So.
Yes, we will.
All right, if I get time,
I'm gonna send this out tonight or tomorrow.
We'll see if I have enough time.
So.
Anyhow.
I'm Rob in the promos.
I love them.
They're good, aren't they?
Yeah, me too.
Why do I clean them all up like I was talking about?
You know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The earlier ones, I'd have the gain too high on some of them,
too low on the other ones.
Whenever the voice changers that I would use,
sometimes I'd have them sped up too high.
In other words, the high makes you Mickey Mouse
and the low makes you Satan.
Okay.
So there is a mixer involved.
Yes, yeah.
So what I mix.
Oh good, cool, cool.
Rob, why don't you see this software, it's really cool.
Yes, yes.
We love it.
So anyhow, some of them I have the gain too high.
Some of them I have the gain too low.
I'm getting much better with this equipment.
I was just wondering.
Hey man, that's gonna get back to my DJ days, man.
Yeah, yeah, it will.
I could get back to my sound and my hearing, you know.
This program, I've known DJs like the DJ DJs, you know,
so like you did.
And this is similar to the program that they use
on the laptop when they bring it in.
Right.
So you would know exactly what it is
and you'll feel comfortable with it when you start using it.
So anyhow.
I don't know, I had a natural system, dude.
Oh, okay.
I had a CD player.
Yeah, my own mixing board, yeah.
Okay, that's cool.
It was like a five panel mixing board.
So you looked like a little bitty rock concert, didn't you?
With a mixing board and everything, right?
Oh, dude, I had a light thing.
This light setup I took with me.
Oh, that's awesome.
I had over 700 karaoke discs
and over 700 listening discs.
What was your DJ name?
It was just Rob.
Oh, damn it, if you're still here, you're Rob Rad.
Well, it was me and my ex-wife
and we were doing it for a friend of ours.
Okay.
We wanted to make her company bigger.
It was called Millennium Express.
She was out in St. Joe, Missouri at DJ service.
And we took her backup system,
which hanging up and getting to know him,
I kind of got to know the system anyway.
Well, she gave me a chance to operate it.
I did that for over three years.
Wow, that's cool.
We'd be out like two, three nights a week.
Okay, then this equipment that I'm gonna give you here soon,
you're gonna feel right home with it.
Oh, no, this was big shit.
I had a fucking van or a truck.
No, no, that's what I'm saying.
If you operated that equipment,
you'll have no problem with this.
So, excellent.
The biggest issue is downloading all of the flash drives
that I have full of promos.
I've got so many promos and bits and so many episodes now.
It's just crazy how much material I have.
Right, and then we're gonna be coming up with new promos.
So, we're gonna have to add all that.
You see, that's what I want.
I want to be able to have so many.
I want so many bits and promos
that nobody really remembers the last ones that we did.
Like going at them like in a circle.
You know what I mean?
You got a large circle.
Start off with one, two, three, four, five in a circle
and just keep going around.
By the time you get back to one again,
everyone thinks it's a new one
because they forgot hearing it.
That's where I want to be.
Oh, good Lord, I hadn't heard it the first time.
Yeah, that's true.
A lot of people probably haven't heard the promos
the first time anyhow,
but that's the way I want to be
is I want to have such a large quantity of them
that if someone listens to every one of the shows,
they probably don't even remember one
the first time that that bit was interdixed.
So because that was always my biggest problem
with the morning shows I used to listen to,
the syndicated ones is because they would have a habit
of leaning on certain promos and bits all the time.
I'm like, now I want to hear some other ones.
So yeah, that's why I'm like really interested
in making a large, vast amount of them
is because they used to be my complaint.
We don't want our assholes
hearing the same thing over and over.
Because we care about your assholes.
We want your ears to be happy, assholes.
Yeah, yeah, I mean, come on.
And assholes is affectionate.
That's what our name is, you know,
everyone had their own thing.
That's your pet name.
That's out of affection.
That's your pet name for us.
Yeah, Bubba has Bubba Army.
I mean, you know, Opie and Anthony had the pest.
Man Cow has the militia love.
Did Bob and Tom have everybody?
I don't think they did, did they?
Wack Pack, oh, you guys are assholes.
I really don't think so.
Okay, all right, well, anyhow,
it's said lovingly, you guys are assholes and we love you.
Yes, lovingly.
Yes, all right.
Your douchebags, your lighter version, you're assholes.
Yep.
That's why we're looking at it.
Yeah, if we're douchebags, then you guys can very well
be assholes, because we're taking the biggest.
You gotta at least be an asshole just to listen to.
We're carrying the biggest portion of it
being douchebags, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The least you guys can do is carry
the asshole portion of it, so.
Anyhow, all right, thank you guys.
Thank everybody for listening.
Thank you, Rob, for joining me.
Hey, we will be putting out another one.
Like always.
All righty, we'll be putting out another one tomorrow
and this program here will probably be shot out
to shoot tomorrow morning and then we'll do another one.
The next one will be shot out to shoot Tuesday.
And I've got a pro, I've got something to talk to you
off the air now, just thinking about it, Rob.
So, okay.
Anyhow, everybody, thank you, have a great night.
Bye assholes.
Good night, assholes.
Ruff ruff ruff.
Ow!
Hey, where did they go?
Where are the douchebags?
Hmm.
Oh my God, someone took a dump in the corner.
Oh geez.
Ugh, glad they're gone.
Let's just hope they don't come back.
Oh man, that smells.