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Live from the historic river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the crystal blue waters of the Missouri River, it's Two Douchebags and a Microphone Podcast.

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And now it's time for the Daily Douchebag Pledge.

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Two Douchebags and a Microphone Pledge, I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to download every show.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to grab family members phones and download the show from there.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to go to public computers and download the show from there.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to laugh at all the unfunny jokes.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to lie to all my friends and tell them how good the show is.

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And finally, I, Joe, or Jane listener, promise to visit Montrose, Missouri to take advantage of the power plant, campgrounds, and junkyard all within its quarter mile radius.

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And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.

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Whenever I mow my lawn, then I look back at the front yard and there's always a couple of blades sticking up.

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Are those the blades of grass that were smart enough to duck?

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Hmph, I may never know.

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Have you ever wondered what something is about?

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Have you ever looked at something and said, I wonder what the origin of that is?

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Well, so have we. That's why we give you The Origin of...

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This is the story of Dr. Pepper. Originally made in Morrison's Old Corner Drugstore in Wacoop, Texas, the drink's unique flavor was a hit when it was first sold in 1885.

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Wade Morrison, the drugstore owner, named it Dr. Pepper after Dr. Charles Pepper, a Virginia doctor who the father of a girl, Morrison, he was once in love with.

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You can still go to the Dr. Pepper Museum and still purchase the original formula with pure artesian well water and pure cane sugar.

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It's quite a treat if you're into Dr. Pepper.

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Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.

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You have the personality of a soggy newspaper.

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Two ass bags and a box of Cheez-Its will be right back.

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Hello everybody, this is Two Douchebags and Microphone. I'm Mark.

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And I am Rob.

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Alright. Well, Rob, I got some music news here. I mean, here in a little bit, Bruce Dickinson, lead singer of Iron Maiden, came out with a new album, The Mandrake Project.

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And on the last podcast, which will be released a little bit later this evening, I promised to...I reviewed Ace's new album and Mick Mars's new album.

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I promised to review Bruce Dickinson's new album, which I will be doing here in a little bit later on.

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But first I have some other music news that I found really interesting because this morning before I went to work, I was just, you know, doing some drinking coffee and TV time.

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And I think it's Vice or I forgot what channel. One of those channels that has like the behind the music stuff on it, you know.

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And this was one about Guns N' Roses, okay. And I was talking about their turbulence and how Axl Rose was like, you know, he was like abused as a child.

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He was like unpredictable and just like off the wall and hateful and mean and all different kinds of stuff, right?

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And anyhow, it went into some certain things that I had no idea about.

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What caused the rift between him and Slash was because evidently Axl said that he was sexually abused as a child.

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When Slash went to work, he went to work for Michael Jackson. It infuriated Axl Rose because...

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Well, that explains the...

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Axl Rose viewed...

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Sorry, did I say that?

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You can say whatever you want. It's a podcast, man. All you got to do is say my opinion. Was it your opinion, Rob?

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It's cutting in and out, Rob. I can't hear you. Hello?

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Michael Jackson, my opinion.

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There you go. Okay. So he viewed Michael Jackson as a pedophile and it infuriated Axl that Slash would work with him because Slash knew that Axl was sexually abused as a child.

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This is what I saw on TV and I'm like, wow, that was really interesting.

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Well, they both evidently were.

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Yeah, I'm going to take up for Michael Jackson on this.

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Some let him to do what he did.

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Who knows? I mean, you know, supposedly his dad was like brutal on him.

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His dad was an asshole.

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So anyhow, yeah, I know there's reasons.

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And not like our friends, Axl.

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Unfortunately, abuse is like something that's...

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He was a true asshole.

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Abuse is something that's handed down, you know, unfortunately a lot of times from family, you know.

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So anyhow, I guess Buckethead came into work for him after Slash and Duff and everybody quit the band.

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And I guess Buckethead had a habit of having hardcore pornography on while he was playing.

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Yeah, yeah, I heard each right out.

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Yeah, so Axl made him go back when he found out that there's hardcore pornography going on during the tapings of this.

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He thought that it would reflect into his soul somehow.

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So he made them go back and erase all of the work that they'd done and infuriated Buckethead and he was pissed.

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And they had to erase everything and redo it without the pornography in the background.

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And there was just a lot of other stuff that I was just like kind of floored at.

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So anyhow, I found it extremely interesting.

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I guess Axl was like extremely suicidal too.

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He would have a gun in his mouth talking to people.

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Yeah, I've done a little research myself.

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I know what you're talking about.

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So anyhow, that leads into this.

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In the mid 1990s were a strange time for Guns N' Roses founding guitarist Slash would ultimately quit the band in 96 followed by bassist Duff McKagan and drummer Matt Sorem in 1997.

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But before all that, Guns N' Roses were entertaining the idea of having then Ozzy Osbourne guitarist Zach Wild join the band.

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Did you know that?

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No, I did not.

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I didn't either.

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This is a very well known secret because I'd never heard this ever before.

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In an interview with Sirius XM Ozzy's Boneyard, Wild said he was called by Guns N' Roses camp while working on Osbourne's Osmosis album asking if he wanted to get together and jam.

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Wild then called Slash who confirmed that his name had come up when the band was discussing who they wanted to try playing with.

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Wild would jam with the band but ultimately form Black Label Society instead.

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So, anyhow, Zach said that he would go over there and jam with them.

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And then finally Ozzy was like, hey man, I'm getting ready to go on tour. I need to start figuring some stuff out.

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So Ozzy was like nothing was going on with Guns N' Roses at the time.

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I guess they were in a state of flux, they were all not getting along and all getting ready to quit the band and Axl was getting ready to take it on his own and hire all these other musicians.

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It ultimately didn't work out.

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So anyhow, Zach went back to Ozzy. Like he said, he said he wouldn't even be talking to him if it wasn't for Ozzy.

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So he went back and he played with Ozzy.

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Yeah.

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So then finally he ended up just forming Black Label Society because he noticed that the band...

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Awesome band.

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He noticed that Guns N' Roses was really staling out and not doing anything.

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So it felt extremely interesting that everybody in Guns N' Roses wanted Zach Wild to join the band because it would seem to me like it wouldn't be a very good fit.

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Can you blame them?

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No, not at all.

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Zach Wild is the man.

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You know, I guess he could tone it down.

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To be honest, we've done a lot of research lately, a lot of our lists, and we happen to have Zach Wild on it because he's a great musician.

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Zach Wild to me is one of the best guitarists ever.

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And I don't think anything is ever going to change yet. That's the way I feel. I'm firm on that. I mean, I've seen his work. I know his work and his work is brilliant.

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I'd put him in number two.

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He's up there. I'm not sure. I would have to go through and...

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I'm not going to say who my number one is, but I put Zach Wild as my number two. That's my opinion.

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That's fine. I could definitely see that. I could definitely see Zach be number two easily on anybody.

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Yeah. Yeah.

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I've watched him play on a... what's that? Little Kitty or whatever, that cartoon that they made into guitars and shit.

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He plays a guitar on YouTube, playing one of his hit songs. It's like a little kid's guitar.

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Oh, I believe it.

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Hello Kitty. That's what it is. Hello Kitty.

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Oh, okay. A Hello Kitty guitar. Okay, cool.

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Yeah. We played an awesome song on a Hello Kitty guitar. Look it up on YouTube.

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I can totally believe it. So anyhow, it wouldn't be the best fit because Zach is so exotic. He's so fast playing.

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But I have heard him play other people's music and he's played it very well. Like he played...

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He can play anything.

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Zach Sabbath, I've seen Zach Sabbath two times. And he plays Tony Iommi very well. He doesn't really go crazy with anything until his solos. And then his solos are his solos.

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Yeah, his solos are his solos.

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He could have toned it down enough, I guess, to play Guns N' Roses. Yes. So you thought that was interesting.

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But his solo is him. That's why it's called his solo.

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Yes. So anyhow, I've seen him play with his teeth, behind his back, fast, up on top of stuff, upside down. He's just amazing.

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So anyhow, like I said, I promise some music here. And so now, after I'm done with that first article here, I'd like to go into Bruce Dickinson's solo album, The Mandrake Project.

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Yeah, I want to hear this.

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Okay, Bruce Dickinson.

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I love Iron Maiden. I love Iron Maiden.

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I do too. And Bruce Dickinson is amazing.

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Like we said on the last podcast, Bruce Dickinson wears many hats. Very talented individual. A top ten fencer in America. He used to fence. He may still, I don't know. He used to fence.

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And now you're about to hear.

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Okay, so anyhow, top ten fencer in the world. Writer, artist, airplane pilot, producer, singer. The guy does everything. He's been successful at everything.

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Yeah, he does.

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He quit Iron Maiden to fly for British Airways for a few years.

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Yes, he did.

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And his solo career did very well. The guy is extremely funny in person. I saw his spoken word, Davey and I saw his spoken word in Kansas City at the Uptown Theater. Extremely funny individual. Extremely intelligent individual. Extremely intriguing individual.

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So, it would make perfect sense if he came out with such an intriguing album like he has. So, I like all of his solo stuff, but this right here may be his finest moment.

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So, like I said before, Bruce Dickinson, The Mandrake Project. Afterglow of Riggoric is the first title song. Or not the title song, but the first song on it. Guitar is nice. Great groove and riff. Vocals are very good. Nice range. Fantastic lead-off song.

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This is a nicely written song. Has a great harmony and hook to it. Really catchy, like most of the songs on this thing are. Very good. Extremely good.

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Many Doors to Hell was the second track. Again, guitar work is amazing. I'm going to have to look up who the guitarist is that's on this album. Because I think there's a few of them. I don't think it's just one.

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I think he went with a bunch of different musicians on this album. Some keyboards to back up the rhythm. Bruce sings in lower register than normal, but not too dark. The hook is Iron Maiden good. It's like a really Iron Maiden sounding hook.

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The vocal harmony is on course. The song flows perfectly. The harmony Bruce is up there in range. So he's singing in low register, but then he goes up on the harmony to a higher one. He sounds perfect. Nice, slow solo in the groove. Bruce's voice with the solo is killer and the writing is superb.

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Rain on the Graves is just wow. Rain on the Graves is the title song in the hit or what should be the hit. The riff is amazing and is the lead off single and very deserving.

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The heartbeat bass is out of this world. The chorus is such a catchy hook. Brilliantly written. This is a hit. Bruce's storytelling on this is amazing to say the least.

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He talks through it on a lot of it. When he talks through it he's telling a story, but then he goes into singing on the chorus. It's amazing.

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Rain on the Graves is just an incredible song. I encourage everyone to go out here and listen to this album if you like this type of music.

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Resurrection Men is good. Just not my favorite. Different type of song, but nice. Kind of a western feel at first. Interesting bass and steel guitar maybe. I think it might have been steel guitar.

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Not sure. Good song still. Now the guitar bridge is absolutely crazy great. It changed my mind to love the song after I wrote all this before. So many pieces to it. It's a masterpiece.

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The bass is funky as hell also. Love it. So Resurrection Men is a really key note song on this. If you're going to check out a song I would check out Rain on the Graves and Resurrection Men.

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Those two songs would be the two songs. I suggest you check out first. I will look at. Fingers in the Wounds. Not Woods. Fingers in the Wounds. Nice balladish type of song. Very catchy.

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Bruce's voice is spot on. Dude's amazing. Great piano on this one. Good catchy mellow song.

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Eternity Has Failed. It is I believe the same song as If Eternity Fails which is our main song off the Book of Souls which came out about three years ago.

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If it's not it's a different take on the song. It's slightly different but it's at least almost the same song.

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There's got to be some difference. There's differences. There's got to be. They would not be able to re-release it. I believe it's the same song. Anyhow. You'll have to listen to them both.

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There's something different about it. Eternity Has Failed. Nice Native American feel on the opening flute. The song is interesting.

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Kind of reminds me of Eternity Has Failed or If Eternity Fails from Iron Maiden. I think it's the same song actually. Great new take on this one. Love it. Both versions.

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This take on his song from Iron Maiden's second to last effort, Book of Souls, is amazing.

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Mystery and Mercy is a good but not my flavor. Kind of faster but the hook didn't really get me.

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Face in the Mirror. This is neat. Wow. Bruce's voice is quite clear and brisk. Kind of sing talking, easy sounding, mellow with great high spots. Has your attention quickly.

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I love this one too. Nice acoustic guitar in the solo. Nice folkish picking. It's a very talented song.

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Shadow of the Gods is good. Nice late night feel to this one. I like this one as well. Not my favorite but good. The piano is fantastic to hear. The keys mix with the music. Quite musically diverse. Very lovely song.

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Sonata is the last song. Interesting drum opening then drums. Bass and piano all together. Gathering steam to Bruce's voice. Kind of spooky sound.

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Another good song I'm going to be listening to this album quite a bit from here on. Might be Bruce's finest. I believe it is and that's saying a lot.

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Can't wait to read the graphic novels that accompany this because every one of these songs come with a graphic novel. Did you know that?

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No I did not. Yeah so he did all this. He did the graphic novels, he did the graphic novels, he did the songs and it all goes together and goes into the Mandrake project.

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I'm going to figure out, I'm going to look online and I will let everyone know if you're so inclined where you can get these graphic novels from.

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Also if you want to get the album I think that's pretty easy. You guys, excuse me. I'm still a little sickly.

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I let on you were going deeper than what I thought you were.

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Oh, well I'm not sure exactly. That's what we get for not knowing what we're doing.

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Yeah that's right. We're guessing.

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Look we never discuss what we're going to talk about ahead of time. No we do not. We like it to be a surprise to the other person because I like that organic effort from both of us.

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And I'm glad you brought up music because I got a lot of music tonight. Alright. Well go for it Rob. Do you have the stuff there waiting?

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Oh yeah I got one right here in front of me. Alright well go for it Rob.

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I'm going a totally different way.

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Okay. I'm going like I promised I would. Country?

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Six classic country songs that tell powerful stories.

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I think that sounds great.

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And guess where this comes from.

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American Songwriter.

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Our friend's American Songwriter. You are correct. This is something anybody can look up.

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I refuse to look at that website because I want to hear it through you. You find the best.

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Dude I got so much I can't get all of them.

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I can't just talk about music. You know that.

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No I know.

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Okay well the first one on the list. Long Black Veil by Lefty Purzell.

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I'm unfamiliar.

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Written by Danny Dill and Murray John Wilkin.

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The story is told from the perspective of a dead man. A decade earlier there was a murder.

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If you went and said the slayer looked a lot like the storyteller.

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The alibi that saved him would reveal their affair.

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Wow. Okay.

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And it goes on giving words of the song.

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Okay.

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I'm just shortening it up. Okay next one.

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I know you know this song.

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El Paso by Marty Robbins.

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Oh I love that. Yep.

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Written by Marty Robbins.

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Fantastic song. Classic.

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This one tells the story from the perspective of a dying man.

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The storyteller falls in love with a young Mexican maiden named Polina.

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Yes. I love that song. Marty's voice on that is just insane. So good.

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And like I said each one of these give a few words of the song and I'm not reading them.

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Okay.

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Okay next up. I know you know this one too.

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Okay. A lot of people do.

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A lot of people know all these songs.

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Big Bad John.

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Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. I love that one. Oh that brought a smile to me guy.

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Do I need to read anything on this one?

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No but go ahead if you want.

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Okay. Written by a bystander's perspective.

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Jimmy Dean based his main character on an actor he worked with named John Minto.

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Big Bad John is established as a large miner with a reputation and possibly a criminal past.

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Yeah maybe so.

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Oh that is a classic. I love that. That is a great choice.

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Oh good. Yeah. Now there's more. And you're going to know them.

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Next one I know you know too.

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Actually yeah the next two which that next three which rounds it out I know you know.

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Okay.

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Okay next up. Harper Valley PTA by Jeannie C. Reilly.

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Oh yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep. Written by our man Tom T. Hall.

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Yes. Which sang Take This Job and Shed It.

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Yeah it was his famous well Harper Valley PTA was a famous song too although he didn't sing it.

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Well no no no. Tom T. Hall sang Take This Job and Shed It.

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No I know. I know.

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But he wrote Harper Valley PTA and Jeannie C. Reilly sang it.

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And sang it yes.

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The daughter of the main character Nicholai telling the story.

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The parent teacher association. Notifies the wit. Everybody knows the story.

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Well basically the whole town was full of sluts and idiots and thieves.

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If you listen to the song Harper Valley PTA you'll get it.

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It basically points out hypocrisy.

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This thing is about country songs that tell stories.

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And it's a great story.

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Yeah.

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Next up. Oh my God.

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Devil Went Down to Georgia.

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Oh yeah. Yep.

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That is such a descriptive song too.

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You know. It's like Devil Went Down to Georgia.

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Look at where his soul distilled.

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Just the way he sings that is just so good.

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Go ahead. I'm sorry.

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Hello. Rob did you hit the mute button again?

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Rob.

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Oh shit I think.

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Okay there we go. Hello you there?

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I am so sorry I hit the wrong button.

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That's okay.

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I was flipping through my story and I hit it. Oh what the fuck?

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If I would know what happened I would just keep talking.

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And if I would know you was calling back because it doesn't run over the board here.

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I would just kept talking and no one would ever know.

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But anyhow go ahead.

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Oh now I'm lost.

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Devil Went Down to Georgia.

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Okay I'm pulling up this story.

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Okay Devil Went Down to Georgia.

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Everybody knows that story.

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Yes. Yep.

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Your phone is cutting out again Rob.

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Can you turn another way or something?

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Hello?

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There?

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00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,000
Yeah there. Okay go ahead.

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Okay.

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That's my good part. I don't know what the fuck.

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I don't know if I'm going to have charging or whatever.

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But last saw.

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We all know.

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Cowherly County by Kenny Rogers.

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It surprises me that that's number one.

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But I agree with it.

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Well they don't rank them.

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They don't rank them.

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They just list them.

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There is no number one, number two.

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They just pick songs.

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Well then it deserves to be on there absolutely.

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But I'll tell you what I always loved Cowherly County.

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Oh that's a great song.

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That's a good story song.

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I told you I get into songs that tell stories.

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Oh I do too.

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Alright hey let's take our first break and we'll come back.

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I've got an interesting story when we come back that's kind of.

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Well you'll just see.

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We'll be right back with it here in a minute.

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And there you go for my country fans.

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Yes.

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The apocalypse just happened.

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You don't know what to do.

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You don't know where to go.

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But we can tell you what you can eat.

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Dirt and apocalypse don't forget the nuts.

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Hickory nuts that is.

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00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:19,000
Yeah we know hickory wood gets all the glory and all the love.

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Everyone loves the hickory trees.

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They cut them down and they make great sandwiches out of barbecue and meats.

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They smoke them and it's a fantastic deal.

291
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But little does anyone know about the hickory nuts.

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Dirt and apocalypse hickory nuts could be the best thing you can find.

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00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:43,000
Hickory nuts can be eaten raw toasted or added to various recipes.

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Their rich buttery flavor and crunchy texture make them an ideal ingredient for both sweet and savory dishes.

295
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You can use hickory nuts to make nut butter, pesto or even a unique hickory nut milk.

296
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There are five types of hickory nuts.

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Bitter nut hickory, shag bark hickory, pig nut hickory, mocker nut hickory and smooth bark hickory.

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Hickory trees are considered part of the walnut species and are plentiful at least around Missouri and surrounding areas.

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00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:18,000
So dirt and apocalypse don't forget to grab your nuts.

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00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:24,000
This is a voice guide from your favorite podcast, Two Douchebags in a Microphone.

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00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:29,000
People often ask us how they can find us when doing a remote broadcast.

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00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:31,000
One, smell.

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00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:33,000
Go to the city market and start sniffing.

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00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:40,000
Our aroma has been described as a mixture of flea powder for goats, Tabasco sauce and old sock with dark fuzzy urine.

305
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:44,000
Two, look for the spot absent of patrons.

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00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:49,000
Three, the most telling sign is a crowd of patrons vomiting uncontrollably.

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00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:55,000
Four, just call us at 816-512-7717.

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00:29:55,000 --> 00:30:04,000
Somewhere in the heavens your great Grammy Gertrude is crying because her little bevo is listening to this film.

309
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:10,000
Hello, this is Satan.

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00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:14,000
You might know me from my pet name, Inflation.

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00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:25,000
I'm here to tell you that there's no better way to relax than listening to Two Douchebags in a Microphone by a nice warm fire at night.

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00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:30,000
I sit there and reflect on all the souls I burned that day.

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00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:32,000
Enjoy.

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00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:35,000
Two Douchebags in a Microphone.

315
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,000
Because we all need dick jokes.

316
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:41,000
All aware of the Amber Alert, right?

317
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:45,000
Well, get rid of your disinfectants and rubber bedspreads, kids.

318
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It's the all new Amber Heard Alert system.

319
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This fantastic early warning device helps one stay dry and rid of all those annoying mattress invoices.

320
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Simply put, it's a great way to get rid of your bad habits.

321
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Simply hook up to Child Under Six or Psychopath and wait for the running water sound.

322
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,000
This clever machine has three distinct settings.

323
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:10,000
Bablin Brooks, Ocean Waves, and Roaring River for those close calls.

324
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:14,000
Order today and get a free Cinnabon Renuze It Cartridge.

325
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Invisible ass paddlings, new douche flavors, and horrible pranks.

326
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,000
What the fuck is wrong with these guys?

327
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:27,000
Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.

328
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:52,000
Dishwater has the top ten spots on Billboard Hot 100.

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Two Douchebags in a Microphone.

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00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:56,000
I am Mark.

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00:31:58,000 --> 00:31:59,000
And I am Rob.

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00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,000
Rob, check this next story out.

333
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:06,000
I found it concerning and interesting.

334
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:08,000
Do you want me to look it up?

335
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:11,000
No, no, I mean if you want to you can.

336
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:13,000
Okay, I'm just going to listen.

337
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:15,000
You said check it out.

338
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,000
You want me to look it up?

339
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:20,000
What I mean is listen to it and I want to hear your opinion.

340
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,000
Squatters take...

341
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:24,000
Like always. Yes.

342
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,000
Squatters take over 1200 homes in Atlanta.

343
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:30,000
Open illegal strip clubs and terrorize neighbors.

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00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:33,000
Don't maul them in jail.

345
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:35,000
Yeah?

346
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:37,000
Don't maul them in jail.

347
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,000
Okay.

348
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,000
You should watch.

349
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:43,000
I agree.

350
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:49,000
Squatters are ruining entire neighborhoods in Atlanta and police response to evict is so slow.

351
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:52,000
Some homeowners have resorted to paying nuisances to leave.

352
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:54,000
They're actually paying them to fucking leave, Rob.

353
00:32:55,000 --> 00:33:00,000
Raising squatters even opened up an illegal strip club on a property they had taken over.

354
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:07,000
One of the 1200 homes which has been squatted in the city according to the National Rental Home Council trade group.

355
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,000
I'd be terrified if Atlanta...

356
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:16,000
In Atlanta to lease out one of my properties, Matt Urbansky, who manages a local home cleaning company, told Bloomberg.

357
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:23,000
Urbansky's company cleans out homes for corporate landlords and in some cases has to remove squatters' possessions.

358
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:28,000
Recently one of his employees was shot after attempting to remove intruders from the property.

359
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:30,000
Right.

360
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:42,000
Simon Frost, CEO of a large scale landlord timber capital group, said there have been incidents of unlawful documents, brandishing weapons and threatening neighborhoods which affects the city...

361
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:45,000
I hear about that all the time, honestly.

362
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:47,000
Yeah.

363
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:49,000
Go ahead.

364
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,000
Which affects the safety of neighborhoods and other residents according to Bloomberg.

365
00:33:53,000 --> 00:34:00,000
Evicting squatters in Atlanta is tough, involving negotiating court backlogs and straining police resources.

366
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:08,000
Meanwhile, online listings of virtual real estate agents make it easy for squatters to identify vacant properties to break into.

367
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:14,000
So they simply just go online and they look for these homes that are sitting and they fucking break into them.

368
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:18,000
No, it happens down here, man.

369
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:22,000
Oh, I know it happens down there. It actually happens down there a lot.

370
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:28,000
It happens down here, it happens up there. You're in the city, I understand that.

371
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:32,000
I know both sides of the wife, you know.

372
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:35,000
Yep. In October in Atlanta...

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00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:44,000
And what sucks is the court systems have to take so long to do something about it.

374
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:46,000
Oh, well, and then when they do...

375
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,000
That's what you're getting to. Go ahead.

376
00:34:49,000 --> 00:35:02,000
Yes. In October an Atlanta neighborhood found itself at the center of a scandal involving squatters who transformed a home into an illegal strip club, complete with weekend parties and even live horses on the property.

377
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,000
Oh my God.

378
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:18,000
I know. The drama unfolding in South Fulton area were four individuals, D'Antony Maddox, Jeffery Wheat, Kelvin Hall and Trashae Forde, took up residence without permission.

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Little did the neighbors know that the 4,000 square foot, five bedroom home with three bathrooms would become a den of illicit activity.

380
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:27,000
The squatters ran...

381
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,000
I know.

382
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:31,000
Someone's going to think...

383
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:34,000
I got a comment when you get done.

384
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:38,000
Someone's going to think I made this story up, but it's fucking true. I encourage you to Google it.

385
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:40,000
I believe you. I believe you.

386
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:54,000
The squatters ran the clandestine strip club, held noisy parties and even organized car races in the street, ruining the neighborhood for others according to local reports.

387
00:35:54,000 --> 00:36:03,000
They would get live horses one day. They had live horses, one neighbor told Atlanta station WSB.

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00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:15,000
Eventually a SWAT team had to clear out the house and recover two stolen cars, a stolen weapon and stolen credit cards from the property according to the local report.

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One neighbor told the Post they are afraid to even go on vacation because if squatters find their home is vacant, they just might move right in.

390
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:34,000
In another incident, US Army Lieutenant Corporal Daisha Laoray discovered a convicted criminal squad in her home.

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00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:50,000
Laoray returned to her property to find a squatter living in her sprawling $500,000 resident while she was away on active duty. She previously told WSB TV she came home to find a man by the name of Vincent Simon living in her home.

392
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:59,000
When Laoray reported the unwanted man in her home to cops, they initially told her their hands were tied...

393
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:01,000
Oh shit.

394
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:08,000
They initially told her their hands were tied because it was a civil matter. Servant and eviction papers also didn't help.

395
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:15,000
After an obscure law was used to finally get the police involved, cops found guns and drugs at the home.

396
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:22,000
To find out that this person moved into my home right after I got done renovating, it was very aggravating and I was angry.

397
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:35,000
I told the Fox. What the fuck? There's more but I'm going to stop it right there.

398
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:43,000
Just stop. Just stop, Mark. Just stop, please. You've got my mind all over the place on this one.

399
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:50,000
First off, you started talking about pornography and horses.

400
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:55,000
Evidently they weren't connected.

401
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:59,000
Well, hopefully they weren't connected. It didn't say they were connected.

402
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,000
I don't know.

403
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:07,000
So you're talking about like real live donkey shows here in America?

404
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:12,000
Dude, I'm in that mood tonight.

405
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:20,000
I'm sorry, man. We talked off the air. I'm trying to lighten up and dude that story just lights me up.

406
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:29,000
A friend of mine that used to go to TJ all the time, also known as Tijuana, saw donkey shows.

407
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:36,000
I have no interest in them. No interest in a donkey show or a horse show.

408
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:42,000
I think that would be vile and disgusting is what that would be.

409
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:52,000
So. Love it. Love it.

410
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:58,000
Anyhow, Rob, go ahead man. You got something you want to talk about?

411
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:05,000
I don't know after that one, man.

412
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,000
Oh, shit. Let me go.

413
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:15,000
I'm going to leave alive animals and all of that alone because it did not specifically mention that.

414
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:21,000
So I'm just going to pretend that it doesn't exist.

415
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:25,000
I have no proof that that's what happened.

416
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,000
So, Rob, we turn to you. You have a story.

417
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:32,000
Like I said, man, that just lost me. That whole story.

418
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:39,000
It got me thinking about porn and horseless and then taking over a house.

419
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,000
I'm like, oh my God, really.

420
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:49,000
Let's see here. What do I have?

421
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:57,000
Oh, shit. I've got a little story here.

422
00:39:58,000 --> 00:39:59,000
Quick break. Okay.

423
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:02,000
I've got a story here that we can go into.

424
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:11,000
Evidently, all across America, there has been a concerted effort to get to take control.

425
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:15,000
These highway signs, you know, the big flashing boards that says road work.

426
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:19,000
Come in May 10th or something like that, right?

427
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:21,000
Yeah.

428
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:25,000
Well, it's been one specific message. Angry raccoons ahead.

429
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:30,000
They've done this in every state of the union.

430
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:35,000
All over each state, spread out.

431
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:43,000
People have been, I don't know if it's a network or what, but people have been taking over these boards.

432
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:49,000
You know, they screw with these boards every now and then and put up obscene messages or weird messages or whatever, right?

433
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:51,000
Yeah.

434
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:58,000
Okay. Well, we're taking a hold of these boards and they keep putting in angry raccoons ahead.

435
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:05,000
Dude, now you're going into angry, you're losing me all the way around tonight.

436
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:08,000
Now you're going into angry raccoons.

437
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:13,000
Hey, I mean, how can people have been talking?

438
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,000
Maybe it's like an internet chat board or something.

439
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:18,000
And they're like, hey, tonight's the night.

440
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:23,000
I'm back with you by the way. That last story just lost me. You went everywhere with that one.

441
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:26,000
Well, I'm back with you.

442
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:29,000
This angry raccoon still, right? Okay.

443
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:31,000
Yep.

444
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:33,000
It has to be like an internet chat board or something where people get on it.

445
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:38,000
They're like, okay, everyone go out and sneak to these signs tonight and put up angry raccoons ahead.

446
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:44,000
I mean, how else could they get them in all the states, all over the states, angry raccoons ahead?

447
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:48,000
All right.

448
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:51,000
All right, Rob, you had a story to go to?

449
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,000
I'm going to go back to music.

450
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:57,000
Okay. Can't go wrong with music.

451
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:00,000
Dude, you're, yeah.

452
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:03,000
There's been interesting stories sent to me because I,

453
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,000
What about animals that are floppy?

454
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:12,000
I, you know, I have to look up some of these stories and try to find the stories behind the stories, right?

455
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:14,000
Right, right.

456
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:18,000
I get weird stories sent to me because my Google history being so odd.

457
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:21,000
Now they send me weird stories like this all the time.

458
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:26,000
So anyhow, we turned around.

459
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:33,000
Okay. Well, how about I give everybody another American songwriter.

460
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:35,000
I'm going back to music.

461
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:37,000
Can't go wrong with American songwriter.

462
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:39,000
You know my feelings about that website.

463
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:45,000
Three rock songs that are odes to late musicians.

464
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:47,000
Oh, this'll be good.

465
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:52,000
First of all, I'm going to go back to music.

466
00:42:52,000 --> 00:43:01,000
First one, Angel of Harlem by U2.

467
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:03,000
Who's that to?

468
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:12,000
So U2's Angel of Harlem is specifically an homage to Billie Holiday.

469
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:23,000
It also acts as an overarching ode to jazz as a whole.

470
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:37,000
Irish rockers nod to several heavyweight jazz performers, including Holiday, Miles Davis, and John Coltrane.

471
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:46,000
They place them in their titular playing ground, New York City.

472
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:48,000
Wow.

473
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:52,000
Yeah, see, I was shocked by that one.

474
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:54,000
I had no idea.

475
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:58,000
Okay, the next one.

476
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:08,000
Okay, Edges 17 by Stevie Nicks.

477
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:12,000
I didn't know that one either. Go ahead.

478
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:24,000
Edges 17 was inspired by two life altering events in Stevie Nicks' life.

479
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:26,000
Okay.

480
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:34,000
The death of her uncle and that of John Lennon.

481
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:38,000
Really? So she was 17 when the...

482
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,000
The men shared the same name. Listen.

483
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:43,000
Okay.

484
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:49,000
The men shared the same name and close to death dates.

485
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:51,000
Okay.

486
00:44:51,000 --> 00:45:05,000
The white winged dove in the song is a spirit that is leaving a body and I felt a great loss at how both Johns were taken.

487
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:09,000
Nicks wants explained.

488
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:11,000
I'll be damned.

489
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:22,000
Yeah, so Stevie Nicks' uncle was John Lennon, but not the John Lennon.

490
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:24,000
Another John Lennon, okay.

491
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:32,000
Right. And that's where she came up with the song, Edges 17.

492
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:38,000
I had no idea the one winged dove was assigned that. Okay, interesting.

493
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:44,000
Okay, and the next one? You're going to like this one.

494
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:46,000
Okay.

495
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:49,000
All Those Years Ago by George Harrison.

496
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:55,000
I knew that was. Go ahead. I love this song. I told you, George Harrison to me was...

497
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:58,000
Yeah, yeah. I've been catching on.

498
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:00,000
I love George Harrison.

499
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:04,000
We don't really get our music changes, don't we?

500
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:11,000
Well, I never... I always thought that George Harrison was a decent guitarist, but not that great.

501
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:18,000
And he was just kind of like lucky to be along with the Beatles until I got older and started discovering the music he did without the Beatles.

502
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:20,000
And the dude was so passionate.

503
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:24,000
He was like the backbone of the Beatles, honestly.

504
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:30,000
Yeah, amazing stuff he came up with. So creative, so passionate. Anyhow, go ahead.

505
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:33,000
Okay, well, here's what it says.

506
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:35,000
About John Lennon, I believe.

507
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,000
These songs were written in honor of Lennon.

508
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:45,000
We're finishing our list out with George Harrison's All Those Years Ago.

509
00:46:45,000 --> 00:47:01,000
His former bandmate's death was enough for Harrison to bury the hatchet and invite both Paul McCartney and Rego Starr to help him with this track.

510
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:03,000
Mm-hmm.

511
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:07,000
So, yeah.

512
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:10,000
It was... I love the lyrics.

513
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:15,000
It goes like, you were the one they said was so weird all those years ago. You're the one that had the courage.

514
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:21,000
I mean, there really... it was like such a tribute to John Lennon because it talked about how...

515
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,000
Okay, well, here's words from the song.

516
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:26,000
Okay.

517
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:34,000
Now we're left told and sad by someone the devil's best friend.

518
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:36,000
Mm-hmm.

519
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:45,000
Someone who offended all Harrison Sang Rux and Lennon's killer, Mark Chapman.

520
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,000
Mark David Chapman.

521
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:55,000
Three... I'm just stating that because, like, the famous killers have three names. He was one of them.

522
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:57,000
Yep. Yep.

523
00:47:57,000 --> 00:48:00,000
Like John Wayne Dacey, Mark David Chapman. There's other ones too, so anyhow.

524
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:05,000
Yep. Yep. No, I know exactly where you're going.

525
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:07,000
Yeah.

526
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:08,000
But yeah, that's the end of that American song, right?

527
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:11,000
Oh, okay. Yeah, I really appreciated that.

528
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:18,000
But I'll tell you what. That person really got me. I did not know that about Angel Marlowe.

529
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:21,000
I didn't either? And I didn't know that about Stephen Nix?

530
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:25,000
The Peter Billy Holiday and Miles Davis and John Coltrane.

531
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:27,000
They left it...

532
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:40,000
They left out one that I think is one of the most brilliant pieces Elton John ever recorded, and that's Funeral for a Friend, and that was about John Lennon too.

533
00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:47,000
And to me that was the best piece that Elton John ever wrote. And he wrote a lot of great pieces.

534
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:52,000
Okay. Okay. Well, see, that's a thing, Mark.

535
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:54,000
Yes.

536
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:57,000
This is three songs.

537
00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:58,000
No, I know.

538
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:04,000
If they wouldn't have thrown Angel Marlowe, all three would have been about John Lennon.

539
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:13,000
You know what? Well, and also another thing is, is I think everyone knows what Funeral for a Friend was about anyhow. I think they knew that was about John Lennon.

540
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:19,000
So what they were doing was they were letting you know about songs you may not have known was about Fallen Rockers.

541
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:24,000
Anyhow, let's take our second break and we'll be right back here in a couple minutes. Does that sound good?

542
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:25,000
Sounds good.

543
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:26,000
All right.

544
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:42,000
The apocalypse just happened. You don't know what to do. You don't know where to go. But we can tell you what you can eat.

545
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:50,000
Sheep sorrel and wood sorrel are salad variety greens, reminiscent of Romaine types of lettuce.

546
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:57,000
They are both healthy and delicious. Vinegar and oil can be stored for a long period of time, so a post-apocalypse salad is possible.

547
00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:02,000
It can also be ground for a tasty spice as well.

548
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:05,000
Oh, shit. What's that over there?

549
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:11,000
Oh no. It's island of horrible jokes.

550
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:25,000
If I ever find that doctor that screwed up my limb replacement surgery, I will kill him with my bare hands.

551
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:29,000
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

552
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:39,000
Brick shit house energy drink. That's right. Brick shit house energy drink. Make men and women feel good.

553
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:48,000
You want to go to the malls? You want to fuck shit up? You want to force them across America? Brick shit house energy drink is for you.

554
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:55,000
Please enjoy brick shit house energy drink responsibly. It's not readily available anywhere because of liability issues.

555
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:58,000
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.

556
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:09,000
Should I record frog sounds in the summer, then play them when it's zero degrees on my ring doorbell for the Amazon guy?

557
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:13,000
Yeah, that sounds like fun.

558
00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:25,000
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.

559
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:53,000
You remind me of a penny. Two-faced and not worth much.

560
00:51:56,000 --> 00:52:00,000
And we are back, two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark.

561
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:02,000
And I'm Rob.

562
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:08,000
I was recently looking over some old sayings, right?

563
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:10,000
Yeah.

564
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:20,000
You know that a lot of them come from shady references and some racist and sexist references and stuff like that and I had no idea about.

565
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:25,000
So I'm going to go over a few of them and see if you know about them, Rob.

566
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:32,000
I found it surprising where a lot of these, because these are references that are used all the time. Sayings and references.

567
00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:35,000
Long time no see.

568
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:39,000
You hear that a lot, right?

569
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:49,000
Similar to No Can Do and its mocking of Chinese immigrants, English the phrase, long time no see.

570
00:52:50,000 --> 00:53:00,000
As an alternative to I haven't seen you in a long time, began as a racist expression making fun of the pidgin English spoken by Native Americans.

571
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:02,000
Do you know that?

572
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:08,000
Okay, okay, I'm having a hard time with that one. Because I grew up at that time.

573
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:10,000
Nobody knows where it came from.

574
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:12,000
As a term of endearment.

575
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:14,000
No, I know. I know.

576
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:16,000
And now they're changing it?

577
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:22,000
No. They're saying where these, they said where these references came from.

578
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:26,000
People aren't meaning them like that.

579
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:31,000
Nobody's saying them today, I'm pretty sure, means them like that. It's just where they came from.

580
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:35,000
I'm just saying back in the 70s, it was a term of endearment.

581
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:40,000
It still is. It's like, hey, long time no see. Yeah, I know. How you been?

582
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:42,000
Yeah.

583
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:47,000
So anyhow, you know what, let's not even do these. Because you know why?

584
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:51,000
I do. I need the time to come up with the next one.

585
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:54,000
Okay.

586
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:56,000
I told you I've had a long day, dude.

587
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:58,000
No, it's okay.

588
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:00,000
We talked off the air before.

589
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:04,000
No, I know. That's why I'm going to keep it lighthearted.

590
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:09,000
No, we're going to do this show one way or another.

591
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:11,000
Yeah.

592
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:14,000
I need to come up with my next story.

593
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:18,000
New Zealand had a problem with their gas pumps leap year day. Did you know that?

594
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:20,000
No, I did not.

595
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:28,000
Dozens of unattended gas pumps across New Zealand were out of service for several hours due to a leap year related software issue.

596
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:43,000
Gas station chains including Allied Petroleum, Goal Z, and Waitomo reported they could not process card payments on Thursday because their computer systems were not programmed to accept February 29th as a valid date.

597
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:52,000
Motorists have been turning up and unable to get fuel, Julian Lee said, a spokesperson for Goal New Zealand told the New York Times.

598
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:57,000
It's been incredibly frustrating for our customers.

599
00:54:57,000 --> 00:55:13,000
LASIK Gold stations as well as all New Zealand gas stations were unattended pumps used technology provider Inveco. Payments were still able to be processed at gas stations where employees were present.

600
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:18,000
But some stations said customers had to go inside rather than paying at the pump.

601
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:29,000
John Scott, the chief executive of Inveco said the company operates pumps in over 100 countries, but only New Zealand was affected by the issue.

602
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:31,000
So, oh really?

603
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:37,000
Yeah. We clearly know about leap year, Scott said. We've been dealing with them for the last 20 to 30 years.

604
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:45,000
He said the issue resulted from a specific software update from the early days of COVID-19 pandemic.

605
00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:49,000
He said the system was back online around 7pm Thursday.

606
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:57,000
So, whatever they had to do to update their software for COVID screwed them on February 29th.

607
00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:01,000
So, anyhow, you said you had a story that you found.

608
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:04,000
Be my guest.

609
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:09,000
Hello? It's cutting out again.

610
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:17,000
It's cutting out again. It's still cutting out, Rob.

611
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:24,000
I'm going to go ahead and read the story until I start hearing you.

612
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:29,000
Because it's cutting out so bad I can't even understand you at all.

613
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:41,000
The theft of a giant radio tower was silenced what used to be the voice of the small Alabama town and the surrounding county.

614
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:47,000
The radio station's general manager said, a thief for thieves made off with... Are you there, Rob?

615
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:49,000
Are you there?

616
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:53,000
Yeah, there you are. Okay, you know what? I can tell the story in a minute.

617
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:56,000
I know. I'll go ahead and finish it.

618
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:59,000
Okay. I got the problem solved.

619
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:08,000
Okay. A thief for thieves made off with a 200 foot 61 meter tower shutting down KJLX radio in Jasper, Alabama.

620
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:10,000
So far no arrests have been made.

621
00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:13,000
The slogan of our station is the sound of Walker County.

622
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:18,000
And right now with our station down the community has lost its sound and lost its voice.

623
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:23,000
WJLX general manager Brett Elmore said to the Associated Press,

624
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:25,000
This hurts and it hurts our community.

625
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:33,000
The theft was discovered February 2nd when a maintenance crew arrived at the wooded area where the tower once stood and found it was gone.

626
00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:39,000
They also found that every piece of broadcasting equipment stored in a nearby building had also been stolen.

627
00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:42,000
So they stole the whole fucking radio tower, Rob.

628
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:44,000
Oh damn.

629
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:48,000
Yeah, and all the broadcasting equipment in a nearby building.

630
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:53,000
They broke into the building and stole all my equipment and the tower, Elmore said.

631
00:57:54,000 --> 00:57:59,000
So why the hell couldn't they leave me the tower, the most expensive thing to replace?

632
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:07,000
Elmore said he suspects that the tower's guy wire was cut first, which would have brought the structure to the ground.

633
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:11,000
And then he believes that the cut into the smaller pieces and hauled away.

634
00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:17,000
Some pretty simple tools you could get from Home Depot could cut this up in no time, he said.

635
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:25,000
The station had no insurance on the tower or the equipment and he estimates it will take $60,000 to $100,000 to rebuild.

636
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:28,000
We're a small market and we don't have that kind of money, he said.

637
00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:31,000
Elmore has heard from people around the nation to hop in to help.

638
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:35,000
The GoFundMe page has been launched online to raise donations.

639
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:42,000
He said he was reluctant to start the fundraiser, but a friend told him to put his pride aside if people are willing to help.

640
00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:46,000
More than $1,100 had been raised by early Friday afternoon.

641
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:56,000
The M station has been on the air since the mid-1950s and Elmore's quarter century into the radio business carries on work his father did at the station before him.

642
00:58:57,000 --> 00:59:01,000
It's more than a job and radio, he said. It's just part of who I am.

643
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:07,000
Jasper police are investigating spokeswoman Rachel Carr said on Friday in a statement.

644
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:14,000
Police said the theft was reported to police on February 2nd, but the date and time of the crime is not known.

645
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:22,000
And they're seeking tips from the public. Anyone that knows anything, please call your local authorities in Jasper County.

646
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:29,000
And I find that crazy that they could just come up there and steal a whole radio tower.

647
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:34,000
Interesting.

648
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:44,000
You never know about crackheads. They can do some shit in a short amount of time.

649
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:48,000
Or meth heads too. Meth monkeys can too.

650
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:54,000
Same thing. Same family. Same family.

651
00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:58,000
Anyhow, go ahead Rob, you add something you want to talk about.

652
00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:07,000
Who's that? Do you remember Malaysia Flight MH370?

653
01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:11,000
Yes. Disappeared?

654
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:38,000
Yeah. Malaysia's government says it may renew the search for MH370 after a US technology firm proposed a fresh search in the southern Indian Ocean where the Malaysia Airlines airplane is believed to have crashed.

655
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:53,000
The plane with 239 people on board vanished a decade ago while en route from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing.

656
01:00:53,000 --> 01:01:11,000
Transport Minister Anthony Lopes said Sunday that Texas-based Ocean and Fendi proposed another no-find, no-fine, no-fee search.

657
01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:16,000
So this company's got a good answer.

658
01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:18,000
I think that's fantastic.

659
01:01:19,000 --> 01:01:20,000
And they'll find it. They're not charging.

660
01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:26,000
You know what? I think that's fantastic because I think people deserve to know what happened to this flight.

661
01:01:27,000 --> 01:01:39,000
Well, here's the thing Mark. A month or two ago I had some stories that I just threw away.

662
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:43,000
Oh, are you getting ready to go into what I think you're going to go into?

663
01:01:43,000 --> 01:02:00,000
There was like a fisherman, or there was a gentleman, I think he was a fisherman, that thought he pinpointed this wreckage.

664
01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:07,000
But he went back and reported it and nobody listened to it.

665
01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:09,000
Wow.

666
01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:12,000
I wish I would have made them reports back then.

667
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:17,000
Because now here they are, they're going to search for it again.

668
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:23,000
And after what I read, and there was a few reports about that story.

669
01:02:24,000 --> 01:02:27,000
Now didn't they think that the Russians shot it down?

670
01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:29,000
I honestly believe that the guy found it. I really do.

671
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:32,000
I don't see why he couldn't have found it. I mean, yeah.

672
01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:37,000
Didn't they believe that the Russians shot this down? Wasn't that the first story that we heard?

673
01:02:37,000 --> 01:02:44,000
But yeah, now Malaysia is actually going to renew the search.

674
01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:49,000
Well, if they can find it, then they can tell what happened. Was it shot down or not?

675
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:53,000
Yeah, that's the problem. Everybody else in the world has been looking for it.

676
01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:55,000
Yeah.

677
01:02:56,000 --> 01:02:58,000
But Malaysia is just now going to renew it.

678
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:04,000
I don't know how much resources they have to dedicate to it as far as I'm aware.

679
01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:06,000
Makes me wonder.

680
01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:09,000
Yeah, who knows? I mean, yeah.

681
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:11,000
Truth is always stranger than fiction.

682
01:03:12,000 --> 01:03:16,000
I got a feeling they've been hiding shit about that flight. A lot of people did.

683
01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:18,000
I can see that.

684
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:25,000
Or who was on board? Who was on board that they needed to shut up? That's what you always hear, right?

685
01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:30,000
Who was on board? Who was?

686
01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:32,000
There was 39 people on board.

687
01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:37,000
Hey Rob, Rob, I got the answer. Who on board was getting ready to testify against Hillary?

688
01:03:39,000 --> 01:03:40,000
What?

689
01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:48,000
Just kidding. I said who on board was about ready to testify against Hillary?

690
01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:50,000
Just kidding.

691
01:03:51,000 --> 01:03:56,000
Who the fuck would have been on that plane that would have busted Hillary?

692
01:03:57,000 --> 01:03:59,000
Allegedly. Just kidding.

693
01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:06,000
Anyhow, let's see. What else have I got here? I want something lighthearted, man.

694
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:12,000
You know. Ah shit. Let's see here. Oh, I wanted to talk about some of the new segments.

695
01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:15,000
Did you hear the last show?

696
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:17,000
Yeah.

697
01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:20,000
Damn it. Your phone's doing the same thing, Rob.

698
01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:24,000
It's still 830.

699
01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:27,000
Okay, there you are. Okay, why now?

700
01:04:27,000 --> 01:04:36,000
Yeah, I went to bed like within a half hour after we finished last night.

701
01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:38,000
Oh, okay. So you haven't heard it yet?

702
01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:44,000
Yeah, and I woke up at like 8. Yeah, we got down at like 9, 915.

703
01:04:45,000 --> 01:04:46,000
Yeah, something like that.

704
01:04:47,000 --> 01:04:49,000
I was in bed at like 930. I didn't wake up till 830.

705
01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:51,000
Oh, wow.

706
01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:56,000
I caught up on my sleep, which I entirely needed.

707
01:04:57,000 --> 01:04:59,000
That's good. Well, did you listen to the last podcast?

708
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:04,000
Not the last one, but I heard the one before it.

709
01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:09,000
Okay, alright. Well, then you wouldn't know. I did some new segments in there and I just wanted to get your read on them.

710
01:05:10,000 --> 01:05:13,000
Like I said, we're starting up the Origins series.

711
01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:17,000
Oh, yeah, yeah. I did hear the Origins series.

712
01:05:17,000 --> 01:05:23,000
Okay, and we're starting to fire in on some more deep thoughts.

713
01:05:24,000 --> 01:05:28,000
I'm going to start doing some more things over heard in hell.

714
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:33,000
I'm going to refresh the Strange Insults from an Alien.

715
01:05:34,000 --> 01:05:37,000
I'm going to refresh the Island of Horrible Jokes.

716
01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:41,000
And let's see, we got a couple of new parodies.

717
01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:44,000
Maybe I can give you some thought on that.

718
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:46,000
Yeah, we've got, I've got.

719
01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:48,000
Yeah, we need to work together on it.

720
01:05:49,000 --> 01:05:53,000
I've got a few mad man ramblings from a mad man that I need you to do.

721
01:05:54,000 --> 01:05:58,000
But like I said, I'm going to have some time off in March to where we can like work on that.

722
01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:07,000
Because it all takes your involvement and right now all the recording equipment is up here.

723
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:09,000
Right, right, right.

724
01:06:09,000 --> 01:06:13,000
We have to do it like this, like I call him Bluetooth and then record it like this.

725
01:06:14,000 --> 01:06:20,000
So, you know, like someone on the emails yesterday, which hasn't been released yet, but you guys will hear it,

726
01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:26,000
was wanting to know how come Rob wasn't on more of these parody bits and all that.

727
01:06:27,000 --> 01:06:30,000
And that's simply because we don't, we both don't have equipment right now.

728
01:06:31,000 --> 01:06:34,000
And if we did, then Rob would be involved in a lot more.

729
01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:38,000
So the best way to get Rob involved is to come up with some time that we both have,

730
01:06:39,000 --> 01:06:43,000
we both have, you know, we both have some time to where I can record some of this stuff.

731
01:06:44,000 --> 01:06:49,000
Yeah, yeah. And honestly, Mark pretty much walks through the door from work to podcast.

732
01:06:50,000 --> 01:06:51,000
Yes.

733
01:06:52,000 --> 01:06:58,000
I can vouch for that. Yeah, he pretty much walks through the door at his home, goes to his studio.

734
01:06:58,000 --> 01:07:03,000
Yeah, yeah, he had to stop and say hi to his wife.

735
01:07:04,000 --> 01:07:06,000
Yeah, yeah, I have to do that. Yes.

736
01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:11,000
But here's the deal, man. I mean, I was on the phone when you said hi to your wife.

737
01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:15,000
I know. That's why I was like, hang on, we can't start the podcast just yet.

738
01:07:16,000 --> 01:07:17,000
Just yet. She just walked through the door.

739
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:21,000
Yeah, she got a little salty over it.

740
01:07:22,000 --> 01:07:25,000
She told me she loved me anyway.

741
01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:35,000
Yeah, she was fine. So, okay, so anyhow, I, you know, I take a lot of time editing this and coming up with the bits and stuff like that.

742
01:07:36,000 --> 01:07:39,000
But it won't always be like this. We're going to have more bits and everything later on coming up.

743
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:45,000
And we keep growing to our whole reservoir of bits and funny little things.

744
01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:49,000
Yeah, we're getting there. You know, and parody bits and all that stuff.

745
01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:58,000
It's growing constantly, but once Rob gets some of this equipment and learns how to use it, then we're going to really take off because he's going to be doing his stuff.

746
01:07:59,000 --> 01:08:02,000
I'm going to be doing my stuff and we're going to put them all together and it's going to be really cool.

747
01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:09,000
So, yeah, yeah, when we're not sitting here in your ears, we're going to be doing our own shit.

748
01:08:10,000 --> 01:08:12,000
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

749
01:08:12,000 --> 01:08:20,000
Yeah. Mark will be up in Kansas City doing his shit. I'll be sitting here doing my shit and all of you got to hear it later.

750
01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:30,000
Yeah. Yeah. So anyhow, right now, I know, I mean, we've been growing bits and we've been doing new stuff and introducing new stuff like the new origin series.

751
01:08:31,000 --> 01:08:34,000
I'm pretty excited about the new one that's going to come out in a yes.

752
01:08:35,000 --> 01:08:37,000
I'm excited about origins too.

753
01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:39,000
I did. The first one I did was.

754
01:08:39,000 --> 01:08:41,000
I got some in the works. That's good. I know.

755
01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:45,000
And I can't wait for that because you have a unique perspective on everything.

756
01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:47,000
It's going to be really bad.

757
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:50,000
Not yet. They're good.

758
01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:53,000
Oh, no, I believe you. I believe they will be.

759
01:08:54,000 --> 01:09:02,000
Right now, I chose Dr. Pepper and the next one I'm doing that you're going to hear on the podcast before this is origin of Mountain Dew.

760
01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:06,000
I'm starting off with some soft drinks and maybe some different.

761
01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:11,000
Yeah, some light stuff. I'm going to go into some other stuff that's a little bit more detailed.

762
01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:18,000
So anyhow, we're growing. We're going to keep doing new stuff. We're going to come up with new bits.

763
01:09:19,000 --> 01:09:23,000
You know, like I said, you know, we don't have a ton of money to work with.

764
01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:35,000
So we're primitive. We know this, but we still think that we're funny and we're entertaining and think that we can we can actually hold an audience and make an audience laugh with what we have.

765
01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:40,000
So we're going to continue to try to do that. As long as you guys listen, we'll keep doing it.

766
01:09:41,000 --> 01:09:46,000
So anyhow, and oh, hey, real quick. Hi, Grandma Opal.

767
01:09:47,000 --> 01:09:49,000
Yes. Hello, Grandma.

768
01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:52,000
Jimmy. Best great son ever.

769
01:09:53,000 --> 01:09:55,000
You guys are awesome. Dodge City, Kansas.

770
01:09:56,000 --> 01:10:03,000
So and and hello, Des Moines. Yeah, Des Moines. Thank you guys.

771
01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:08,000
I cannot believe this. Did you notice how I got my problem fixed?

772
01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:13,000
Yeah, yeah. And switch out the my other ear pod. My other one was great.

773
01:10:14,000 --> 01:10:16,000
My other one was drained low on battery.

774
01:10:16,000 --> 01:10:20,000
Oh, that's what it was. I switched your pies and we're good.

775
01:10:21,000 --> 01:10:27,000
Yeah. Let me look. I'm pretty sure we're still our M1 Markets Des Moines. I'm going to check real quick. I haven't in a couple of days.

776
01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:41,000
Dude, I'm telling you, I think I need to get on a laptop because my phone reads everything I have always read.

777
01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:53,000
OK, same numbers, same everything. Yep. Number one, still Des Moines by by double of what Kansas City has.

778
01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:59,000
Well, see, I'm not updated on that. I think it's because I'm running off my cell phone.

779
01:11:00,000 --> 01:11:06,000
But Harrisonville, Harrisonville, Missouri, I cannot believe the amount of hits out of Harrisonville.

780
01:11:06,000 --> 01:11:11,000
Yeah, they were in our top five in Ashburn.

781
01:11:12,000 --> 01:11:23,000
When I look when I go up on my phone, they're still up there. But I'm telling you, I think it's because I'm running off my phone instead of a computer.

782
01:11:24,000 --> 01:11:28,000
Yes, I'm not reading the correct. I'm reading old results.

783
01:11:28,000 --> 01:11:39,000
It is. It is. Once I get you the Google Chromebook, you're going to be set because then you can log on to RSS and read exactly what I'm reading right here.

784
01:11:40,000 --> 01:11:48,000
The numbers. I mean, the numbers in Des Moines are awesome. Thank you, Des Moines. You're our number one market. Kansas City second. Harrisonville is a really close third.

785
01:11:49,000 --> 01:11:56,000
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm just I'm astounded by the number of people that would have to listen in Harrisonville.

786
01:11:56,000 --> 01:12:05,000
It's a it's a city of about five thousand people. Love all of you. Yeah. Yeah. You get that. Come on.

787
01:12:06,000 --> 01:12:15,000
I have a son that lives in Harrisonville. I got to say, love you, Jesse. If you listen to this podcast, let's hope so.

788
01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:22,000
Jesse, Jesse, if you listen, send us an email. Do 66 B66 at Yahoo.com. What?

789
01:12:22,000 --> 01:12:35,000
I have not been in his life. Oh, oh, OK. But but we admit we admit we admit each other.

790
01:12:36,000 --> 01:12:47,000
His mom lied to him all his life. Got it. Anyway, that's yeah. Yeah, we'll go on. We'll go on that. All right.

791
01:12:47,000 --> 01:12:54,000
Well, we're well over an hour, so let's go ahead and just go ahead and call this a day. Thank you all for listening. We appreciate it. Thank you, assholes.

792
01:12:55,000 --> 01:13:00,000
Love you, assholes. Good night. Good night.

793
01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:20,000
Hey, where do they go? Where the douchebags? Oh, my God. Someone took a dump in the corner. Oh, geez.

794
01:13:20,000 --> 01:13:29,000
Glad they're gone. Let's just hope they don't come back. Man, that smells.