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The apocalypse just happened.
You don't know what to do. You don't know where to go. But we can tell you what you can eat.
Burdock is a plant that has edible leaves, stalks, and roots.
It is also known for its medicinal properties and its ability to stick to clothing.
Some of the uses for foods is in soups and stews, sauteed in a stir fry, pickled either for sushi or a snack.
It is also used in braised kanpira, a Japanese side dish.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
You have the personality of a soggy newspaper.
As much fun as an electric can opener to the scrotum, two douchebags and a microphone.
Next up, things overheard in hell.
Well that new handsome CD is just a laptop. Uh huh.
Music
Hello. This is Two Douchebags and Microphone. I'm Mark.
And I am Rob.
Alright. Hey Rob, how are you doing tonight?
I'm doing good. I've had a very, very busy day for this show.
Yeah, we spoke for a little bit before the program and you really did.
But you got everything done so that's good. Except for Eden, but you said you can do that afterwards so that's good.
And that's what I'm doing too.
Yeah, I just literally got done cooking dinner. That's fine. I can heat it up after a while. It was something easy.
But yeah, I did a lot of homework today for tonight.
Yeah, I've been doing a lot of homework lately too.
I bet you have.
There just happens to be a lot of stories floating around that are interesting right now and that's what we tend to do.
We try to cherry pick the stuff that sound interesting that people like us would be interested in.
And I've got one right here for you, Rob.
Let's do it.
So if you think Starbucks olive oiled lace coffee is as divisive as it gets, the coffee chain's latest offering in China might change your mind, Rob.
The Seattle-based coffee giant recently rolled out a pork-flavored latte in China for the Chinese New Year season that started on February 10th.
A pork latte. No kidding.
Damn.
Yeah. Pork-flavored latte.
Pork latte.
Yes. Yep.
Starbucks Reserve Roastery in Shanghai announced the pork-infused offering in a post on its verified WeBoo micro-playing account.
I guess that must be the Chinese version of Windows or something.
On February 5th, promoting the beverage as a coffee integrated with traditional New Year's customs.
The limited edition beverage, whose name translates into abundant year savory latte, is pictured with a slice of skewered pork perched on top of the mug.
Its official English name is Lucky Savory Latte.
So that's what we would call it over here.
And if you're trying to describe it or talk about it like us, Starbucks said the coffee is a combination of espresso with dung-po pork sauce, referred to a braised pork name after a famous 11th century poet.
Steamed milk is added to the beverage before it's drizzled with more pork sauce.
So, so get this, Rob. So they don't put chocolate.
Okay, okay, I'm back. I'm back.
Oh, okay. I didn't know you were going.
I'm sorry. I had to pause and go throw up, man.
Are you okay?
Yeah. Pork latte?
Oh, shit. I got you.
Dude, yeah, I'm sorry. I had to put you on mute and I had to go throw up.
So instead of drizzling chocolate on the top of this whipped cream or whatever, they drizzled pork chocolate.
Oh, now you add chocolate?
No, no, no. I'm saying instead, here whenever they do one, they put the whipped cream on it.
I might have missed quite a bit here.
Anyhow, it's okay. The special edition beverage is priced at 68 Chinese yen or $9.50 at reserve stores in China, according to local media.
The pork flavored coffee has gone viral on Chinese social media, mostly because people were wondering if it's for real, but it is and reviews are mixed.
One user on a big Chinese name, it's Chinese Instagram, said the latte looked strange but was unexpectedly delicious with an intriguing sweet and salty flavor that combines the aromas of meat and coffee.
You need to vomit again, Rob?
I'm close. I'm close.
Another one said it was disgusting. They said it tasted like fermented bean cured mixed with a sweetener.
Although the piece of pork was quite tasty, they said.
A third user said they were pleasantly surprised by the savory taste of the coffee.
Well, even Starbucks describes the flavor as surprising. The Starbucks beverage is more expensive than rival Luckin coffee, which can cost as little as $1.40 thanks to aggressive discounts.
And you want to know what Luckin coffee is. Luckin coffee is like the Starbucks of China. They are like the huge, big, swinging D coffee chain, right?
You know, we had Starbucks and they had Luckin. Then Starbucks started getting into the Chinese market, but they are the second fiddle to the Luckin coffee, which sounds like it's much cheaper and, you know, sounds like it might be a pretty good coffee too.
So anyhow, I thought that was an interesting story. And I got another one. I've got another one here. I want to talk it over with you, Rob.
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was interesting. All right. You made me throw up. Did I for real make you throw up?
I guess I did. Wow. Work and lock it. No. Yeah, it sounds horrible. Honestly.
You know, little Skippy Bayless. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That little bitch. Well, he's going to get another ass paddling again, even though he's in the Hall of Fame. Well, we're going to pull him out of the Hall of Fame.
Even though football season is over? Oh, he's still yammering. He's still yammering, waving his tiny little fist in the air because his little Dallas Cowgirls can't win.
And he's over there all just all, all about the place with his little fist in the air, screaming and everybody that'll walk by.
Skip Bayless makes an Andy Reid sold coaching sole claim after Travis Kelsey and his outburst at Andy Reid.
NFL analyst, Skip Bayless and known little bitch has accused Andy Reid of selling his coaching sole by forgiving Travis Kelsey's unacceptable behavior during Super Bowl 58.
Now, you're talking about a guy, Andy Reid, that has taken two teams to the Super Bowl. One team once and six, five championship games, five championship games in the NFC, six in the AFC, one Super Bowl in the NFC, four Super Bowls in the AFC and three Super Bowl titles.
Now, little Skippy Bayless thinks he knows more than Andy Reid. He's waving his tiny little fist in the air, jumping up and down and screaming. And I just wish this little bitch would shut up.
Listen, your Cowgirls aren't going to get it. The big boys are in town and they're not even ever going to face them because your little fucking Cowgirls aren't ever going to make it.
So you don't even have to worry about the Big Bad Chiefs knocking off your little girls over there because they're never going to make it. So, Skippy Bayless.
Okay, okay, here's the thing. I and I think many people see the pattern here.
I think I know where you're in.
For years, the Patriots was the team to beat.
Yes.
Before them, well, look in the 70s and 80s, the Cowboys was the team to beat.
Mm hmm. Yeah.
Look now.
Look at the 90s when they were dominant.
Look now.
Yeah.
Chiefs are about to go for a three-peat, I believe.
Yes. Well, remember when Mahomes first came on the market, everybody was Mahomes fan. Oh, look at him. He's a nice guy. He's sweet. He's lovable.
Been with his childhood sweetheart from a long time. Went to Texas Tech. His dad was a football player or not a football player, baseball player.
They had all the videos of little Patrick out there being a ball boy and all that stuff and his heart warm and everybody just loved him.
Now all that is being shoved apart because after they built him up and made him the superstar, you immediately started knocking him down because that's what the Americans do.
That's what we do over here. We're like, oh, you're the best. You're the best. You're the best. Oh, okay. You've been here too long. You suck. You're horrible. You probably beat your dog. You cheat. Whatever.
Anyhow, Skippy Bayless is no different. Skippy Bayless was a hater on the Chiefs even before they became really good with Mahomes.
Skippy Bayless thinks that the coasts are the only thing that matters and his little cow bitches down there in Dallas.
Anyhow, we're going to have to pull his little ass out of the Hall of Fame and bare ass spank him for probably about 10 minutes over this because he needs to shut his little know nothing mouth.
It's like the old saying, it's better to keep your mouth shut and people think you're a fool instead of opening your mouth and they know you're a fool. That's him.
Every time he opens his mouth. Go ahead.
I'm tired of hearing you talking about him. Hell with 10 minutes. I'm beating his ass for 30 minutes.
Just because you keep talking about him. I'm tired of hearing about him. I'm going to see your 30 minutes and I'm going to raise you another 20.
You want to go for more?
I'm not in hell with it. Let's just do an hour apiece and get it over with.
Right on. There we go.
There you go, Skippy.
There you go, little Skip.
I've got a McMars CD review. Do you want me to do it now?
Oh good, because I've got a music story for you too.
Okay, go do your music story first.
No, no.
Do you want me to go ahead?
Yeah, go ahead and then I'll do McMars right after.
And this comes off one of your favorite places, American Songwriter.
That is my favorite place, dude.
But it's a story.
Okay.
It's the meaning behind Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne.
Now this is going to be really interesting because I do not know this at all.
And the guitar genius who brought it to life.
Okay. I would hope that's Randy Rhoades, but I don't know for sure.
Here we go.
Okay. All aboard.
Crazy Train began with Randy Rhoades signature guitar riff.
He played the riff for bassist Bob Daisley who helped Rhoades flesh out the court.
With Rhoades guitar feeding back through his amplifier, Daisley told him, it sounded like a crazy train.
I didn't know that.
Wow.
Hang on. I can bring it back up.
Okay.
My phone just.
By the way, Bob Daisley is, I love Bob Daisley.
They brought the music to Ozbourne and he sang melodies over the instrumental.
Daisley wrote the words and kept the crazy train beat.
The song's theme is often misconstrued as crazy.
Meaning going mad or insane.
Yes.
But the song references the cold war which consumed the world in the 1980s.
Ozbourne sings of dictators in line, one condition to rule and control.
That's in the song?
Overwhelmed by the world's chaos with the United States and the Soviet Union avoiding nuclear war, mutually assured destruction.
Ozbourne connects with the general feeling of helplessness in a world where full children routinely perform duck and cover exercises.
Okay, so I kind of get it now.
Some of the lyrics are kind of weird.
Or not weird, but kind of not really inducing to be an insane.
You know, crazy, that's what I heard.
Millions of people live in this world.
You know, it's talking about it's not too late to learn how to love and forget hate.
Then that's where that came from.
Okay, alright, makes sense now.
Okay, well, think about the opening lyrics.
Crazy, but that's how it goes.
Millions of people living as foes, maybe it's not too late to learn how to love and forget how to hate.
It's about the cold war.
It's not about being crazy or insane.
That's what I was referring to, I did the abbreviated version because I couldn't remember all the words, but thank you.
That even makes even more sense.
Okay, wow, great song, phenomenal song, random rote.
Oh, wait a second.
They even put out some more words in the song.
Oh yeah, like what?
Errors of a cold war, that's what we've become.
Inheriting troubles, I'm mentally numb.
Crazy, I just cannot bear, I'm living with something that just isn't fair.
Wow, I'll bet you 99% of people that are familiar with Crazy Trainer never knew that.
I never taught that until I read this.
The song is so strong and vivid that it really doesn't allow you to listen to the lyrics.
Agreed?
Right.
The song is so encompassing and that guitar is so insane, so good, so precise.
You've got Randy just wailing on that guitar behind the lyrics.
You know that Bob...
Bob Daisley was Ozzy's secret weapon for years.
Yes he was.
He wrote so many songs for Ozzy.
He's not just a bassist like people think.
He is a songwriter, an exceptional songwriter.
I have his book, For Facts Sake is what it's called, and it is one of the best books I've ever read.
Because he played with all these different bands, Uriah Heap, Rainbow, Ozzy.
I think he played with Sabbath for a little bit.
He played with all these bands and he has stories.
He has so many stories from all of these different bands.
These revolutionary bands.
These legendary bands.
He was the backbone of all these bands that were ultra successful and had really great different music that they offered at the time.
Bob Daisley to me is a genius.
He just never really got his name that well known unless you're into music.
If you're into music you know who the guy is and you love him.
You know who he is, I know who he is, we're into music.
Tofer knows who he is, he's into music.
So you see it is...
Yeah he's kind of like the unsung hero.
So anyhow.
Anyhow I've got this... Are you done Robert? Is that it?
Yeah that was it. Go for it buddy.
Alright well like I said I was going to review the new Mick Mars.
The Ace Freely album 10,000 Volts I reviewed that.
You guys don't hear it... well yeah you'll hear it by the time you hear this.
I have not had a chance to stop and listen to it.
I need to. I need to. I know.
10,000 Volts is a masterpiece.
This could be very well...
Okay give me an ass-paddling for not listening to it yet.
Okay you'll be on the next one and that's coming up...
There you go.
The ass-paddling is coming up Tuesday night because I still have a couple more names I've got to put in there.
I have some ideas.
Unless you have some ideas off the air.
But most of the ass-paddling's are filled.
So...
Anyhow. Mick Mars. New album.
The Other Side of Mars.
Okay first off.
I knew this was going to be a good album because it was produced by Michael Wagner.
Who is Michael Wagner? I know you know Rob.
Yeah I know.
Who is he?
One of the driving forces behind the now legendary first two Motley Crue records.
Shout at the Devil and Do Fast For Love and Not In That Order.
Now.
This being 2024 40 plus years later.
Which should tell you something here.
Yes.
Will this translate to today's sound?
Loyal To The Lie was the initial track that was on the recordings that I listened to.
I assume it's the first one on the CD if you were to get the CD.
It was good but not great.
It's certainly better.
It's certainly...
I just don't know what else to say.
It's just really...
It's a good song but it's just not great.
I didn't hate it but I don't love it.
It's certainly better than any Motley song released in the last 20 plus years.
I really like the Edgy Field 2 Next song.
The Right Side Of Wrong.
It's got a really nice guitar in there.
You can hear some of that mix sound that he's so famous for.
Okay well then I'd probably like it then.
You would. You would. I really like this song.
Undone is the next one I listened to.
It is a pretty powerful song as well again.
It's a really good song.
Undone shows some different emotions and some guitar that displays some different emotions.
That was very well. It was a really good song.
I like that one very well too.
I like that aspect too.
Memories. You're starting to learn me and my music.
Well our music isn't FROF. You've got kind of like a country version of what I like.
You're a little bit more skinner and hatchet and stuff like that.
I'm a little bit...
I still listen to other things.
Oh I know you do. I do too.
That's my preference.
But I still reach out.
I know you do.
I can tell you stuff about country.
I need to start bringing up more country honestly.
Variety is the spice of life.
Actually you never know. I just might tonight.
Hell why not.
The more you listen and the more you expand your mind the better off you are as a human being.
So if you like other types of music I think that shows intelligence not ignorance.
So Memories is the next one and it's a decent ballad.
I thought it was okay but I bet many people will love it.
But to me it was what I call weak sauce on a ballad scale.
To me it was written to be a ballad and didn't have that much feeling in it. To me.
It wasn't like on the Coordinary album which they released only if you bought the Motley Crue self titled album with John Karabi.
You could only get it if you went inside that CD and sent off this little coupon and you paid so much money and got it.
It was called Coordinary and they all had a song.
Each one of them like The Beatles or Kiss used to do.
It was like Nicky Six, Tommy Lee, John Karabi and Mick Mars.
Mick Mars ballad on that, Bittersweet is a beautiful beautiful song.
This is nothing like that.
Bittersweet had no words. This does have words and it's just not that good.
You know I bet many people will love it just because it's a ballad.
Alone was maybe one of the best songs on there.
That has a cut through factor.
Alone?
Alone. It will be the hit off this album if there is a hit.
The guitar tone alone is really different.
I personally love it.
So if you listen I bet you anything that like you and me and the people that like songs that are put together well and arranged well, alone will be your song.
You'll be like that is the best song there. I love that song.
Well I'll tell you what.
Just that name of the song.
I got to thinking about Hart and their song Alone and I love it.
Well I think Alone has a deeper message to it.
I think Alone means like you know what he's out on his self.
He's out on his own now.
Which honestly right now Rob Rad is Alone.
So you know.
Yeah you know what. It goes around.
I am me and my dog and my cat.
It goes around Rob.
We all took our parts on being Alone.
And my son comes in and out.
Rob we've all taken our parts on being Alone.
Ready to Roll is heavy crunchy song of the whole pile.
I loved it.
Before it just became another aggression song.
The vocals in Hook took over and made it a true piece of music.
You see it's come out real crunchy.
I'm like oh man.
They're not going to do this shit now.
You know the kind of cookie monster kind of sound and stuff.
But no.
All of a sudden it changed in there.
And the vocals in the Hook made it into a real song.
It wasn't just a bunch of aggression.
So that was a great song.
I loved it.
Guitar was fantastic.
Ain't Going Back is the closest to a Motley song on this collection.
If you heard it you would think that sounds kind of like a Motley song.
That's the closest thing he has to a Motley song on this album.
And I agree with him.
He's done with that.
He wants to do his own thing.
So if you want to hear Motley stuff you don't buy his album.
Actually you don't buy Motley's album either if you want to hear Motley's stuff.
Yeah.
One album.
Anyhow.
I really like this song.
It was maybe my favorite.
Great, great tone and the guitar is solid.
The bridge slash solo was typical Mick Mars genius.
This song was very Jerry Cantrell-ish.
I know you love Jerry Cantrell like I do.
I mean Jerry Cantrell is a genius on guitar.
And he's actually an amazing guitar hero.
He is actually an extremely good guitarist.
But because of his success I can't put him in as an underrated guitarist.
Because there is a lot of people that appreciate him obviously.
Alice in Chains was a huge band.
It still is.
Even without Lane Stanley being alive they still do very well.
And that's because the backbone of that band is Jerry Cantrell.
Kind of like Tony Iommi was with Sabbath.
You know a great singer made a lot of difference.
But Tony Iommi still had his sound even when Tony Martin was singing.
Or when Glenn Hughes was singing.
Or when Ian Gillen was singing.
Or Ray Gillen or whoever.
Okay so it was very Jerry Cantrell-ish.
The song's hook was heavy.
I can say I can truly feel the song.
It was...
Well I'll just put it like this.
It was very good.
I thought that the judge was going to be a little bit more aggressive.
But I think that's the thing.
I think that's the thing.
It was very good. I thought that the John Karabi song that he did.
But was not put in the album.
From what I heard of it should have been put in the album.
I don't know why he chose to not put it in there.
He said that it wasn't good enough.
But to me the John Karabi song was the best one out of all of them that I've heard.
But it wasn't on this album.
It was released back in 2016 or 2017 I think.
And then he just cut all ties.
I don't know what's going on with that.
I don't know if they got into a fight or something.
Or maybe royalties. I don't know.
But that song is actually the best song that Mick Mars put out to me.
Because Mick Mars and John Karabi.
John Karabi changes Mick's attitude on guitar.
And brings him up a level.
I mean it's just dynamite what they do together.
C Motley Crue Motley Crue album with John Karabi.
And that guitar on there is just so solid.
Well that song I forgot what they called it was just fucking awesome.
But it wasn't in on this.
And then finally the final song was L.A. New R.
I thought it was refreshing.
It was an instrumental that has a Roaring 20's kind of vibe to it.
This is up there with one of my faves.
I liked his effort but didn't love it.
I was also bothered that Mick only co-wrote one song on this.
He only co-wrote one song dude.
I really figured at this point he would have his own signature on his solo art.
I give Ace's album a nine and a half.
And I give Mick's a five and a half.
So.
Yeah.
Everybody go to the internet.
Look it up.
Listen for yourself.
This is just my opinion and what I like in music and what I don't.
I feel that Mick Moore's album was a little bit weak for me.
But Ace's album might be one of his best efforts ever.
And this goes back to Freely's comment and the whole thing.
This album that Ace put out is solid.
Fantastic music.
Okay.
I cannot wait to hear it.
You're going to love it.
And the thing is this.
I think that Ace is pissed off because Kiss has been constantly making fun of him.
Oh man.
I think the famous quote that really set him off was Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons were on Howard Stern.
And Howard Stern brought up something about Ace.
And he said well piss is what we would sound like instead of Kiss if Ace was still with us.
That inflamed Ace.
And he said fuck you guys.
Quit talking about me.
How long has it been?
Leave me the fuck alone.
And then he started going in.
He goes man my new album is going to make you guys look like imbeciles.
And get this.
I'm still touring.
I'm still doing albums.
How long has it been since you guys done an album?
A long time.
Okay well I'm going to stand up for Ace on this one.
Yeah.
Ace had Freely's comment.
Major album.
Yeah.
What the hell has the rest of them done single wise?
Well okay here is it.
It's a tale of two bands honestly.
Okay.
You have the first inception of Kiss.
And then they went into their disco era which was still great.
I loved Dynasty.
I think that's a great album.
I loved the disco.
It was still great music to me.
They called it disco.
I didn't necessarily think it was disco.
But they called it disco.
And then they had Unmasked which was a great album too.
So then they went back to Rock.
And they got Eric Carr in the band.
And it gave a whole new heavier tone to it.
And they released Creatures of the Night.
Which had like great songs on it.
I love it loud.
All hell is going to break loose.
I mean great great album.
So then Ace was out of the band after that.
So then that is when they decided to take off their makeup.
And become another band.
They wanted to become part of this group.
Trust me.
I have the action figures in the studio.
Yay.
Good man.
So anyhow.
So then they went to play in 80's.
Butt Rock if you will.
Love all the songs but it's true.
Yeah well they had to change with the time.
Just like everybody else.
So this was a different band.
It had a first it featured Vinnie Vincent.
But Kiss Lick It Up was actually a pretty hard album.
It was a heavy album.
So then Vinnie Vincent didn't work out.
Because it looks to me like in my opinion kind of nuts.
So then they go to Mark St. John.
Mark St. John was a known guitarist.
He was a virtuoso.
He was really good.
Really fast.
He developed an arthritic hand condition.
So he couldn't complete the tour.
So they went to Bruce Kulick.
Bruce Kulick was there through all of the 80's.
Until the 90's I think.
Later in the 90's.
I highly respect by the way.
Oh I love Bruce Kulick.
Great guitarist.
Great person by the count.
He had his own signatures down and still does.
And I love him.
I follow him on Facebook.
Oh I do too.
He doesn't know why Kiss has a problem with him.
Because he's never done said anything towards him.
But whatever.
So anyhow.
So that was that band.
And then they came back to being the original Kiss.
They got the later in the 90's.
Did that Kiss unplugged.
Then all of a sudden Ace and Peter come out and join them.
So they kind of used MTV.
To accelerate.
The.
We're all getting back together.
And going to do a reunion final tour.
Well they decided to keep touring and keep touring.
I guess it wasn't a final tour.
So then.
First Peter.
Yeah I got the 2000 final tour shirt I'm looking at.
I got the 96.
97.
Yeah their final tour then.
So then.
They finalized it last year.
2023. Yeah.
At the end of it in December early December.
So then.
The Peter jumps out.
He goes out of the band and Eric Carr passed away.
So they couldn't get him.
So they got Eric Singer.
Eric Singer.
Put on the cat makeup.
From what I understand they paid Peter Chris for his.
For his logo.
You know his cat.
All that stuff.
Ace Tommy Thayer was Aces.
Guitar tech.
And according to Thayer and I don't think Ace disputed this.
Ace sometimes wouldn't show up to a show.
So they would put Tommy Thayer in Ace's costume.
And Ace's makeup.
And he would come out and play Ace freely.
I read that.
I've never heard Ace dispute that.
I can kind of believe it.
So when Ace finally parted ways when they booted him out again.
Or whatever happened.
Depending on who you talked to.
Tommy Thayer was it.
So.
Anyhow there's been.
He's already brewing himself.
There's been a little bit of bad blood ever since they've been taking barbs at each other.
Then they got happy with each other.
Gene and Ace started hanging out together a little bit.
And then Paul and Ace got chummy.
And then all of a sudden.
It's just like Paul. I don't know.
The older he gets the more crass he gets.
He says that.
That Ace and Peter are both anti-semitic.
And think that they.
That they're quote unquote.
Jews.
That are stealing all the money from everybody else in the band.
This is what Paul says.
Ace and Peter. I don't know if Peter said anything.
I don't even know if he responds.
But Ace is like no fucking way.
We've never felt like that.
And I don't know how he gets that.
So anyhow.
This little barbs have been going back and forth.
So anyhow.
Let's go ahead and take a break.
And then we come back with the.
Yeah we need to.
We still have a lot to talk about.
Yes I know.
We went over last night.
Maybe we'll go over again tonight. We'll see.
Next coming up is.
I think we did a couple of times last week.
I think we did too.
I think we're trying to make up to Des Moines.
Yes.
We're trying to keep Des Moines happy.
Des Moines is not bitched at me.
We're trying to keep everybody happy.
Des Moines to their credit.
Including Blake.
Who's been all over me.
Has been really cool now.
We gave them new shows.
They're settled down.
So I think we got it squared away with them.
So anyhow.
But anyhow thank you Des Moines.
I'm glad you're such fans up there.
You guys are awesome.
So let's take our first break.
But we thank everybody.
Not just Des Moines.
Everybody. Thank you Rob.
We love our assholes.
Yeah we love all you assholes.
Oh by the way hi Opal.
Oh hi Grandma.
Hi Grandma Opal. We love you.
You're awesome.
So OK.
All right and her grandson.
I never can remember his name.
Yes.
All we had is his name.
I can't find the email.
So anyhow.
We've had it twice.
Sorry.
Opal's grandson write me again.
Please.
All right.
Just so you know that's what you get when you get your 50s.
Yes.
You get for a dip bowl.
I think it's like Jim or something like that.
But anyhow just write us again.
If you even care if you don't care that we make sure your name and don't write us.
It doesn't matter.
Let's take our first break.
We're going to come back with underrated rock bands.
Rob's listed my yes we are.
Yep.
And I got some goodies and I know you will too.
I got some goodies too.
All right.
I just went with 10.
I'm not going to give because I did that to protect myself.
I thought you're going to go 12 again so I put two extra to the side.
Take a break.
I think we found land.
Oh my God.
I think we're safe.
Oh no.
It's the island of horrible jokes.
What did the coach say to the lending machine.
Give me my quarterback.
I don't know.
Break.
Energy drink.
That's right.
Make.
Your.
You want.
To.
Make.
Please enjoy brick.
Energy drink responsibly.
It's not readily available anywhere because liability issues.
And now deep thoughts with Mark.
So let me see.
Let's say I was offended by people being offended.
Then would people being offended all the time would have to not be offended around me because I was offended by them being offended.
I may never know.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.
It's strange insults from an alien.
Real.
May.
Always.
And sink.
To your.
Two.
Microphone.
We all need.
Not responsible for greasy residue left on your blue.
No.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.
It's strange insults from an alien.
Real.
May.
Their violin lessons.
All of your hangovers.
Your.
Two.
Bags.
Enjoy one of many coffee houses ordering our heroes out.
Watch Mark revisit Clinton Missouri to claim his innocence for all the man.
And now and get both high quality DVD sets and a free douchebag calendar.
Mark off today with a douchebag looking at you.
Supplies are limited so act now.
And we are back to douchebags and a microphone on Mark.
And I am Rob.
All right Rob do you want to do the honors first or do you want me to do the honors first.
This is underrated rock bands.
List of ten.
You got a coin on you.
Yeah hang on.
Right here I got one.
Okay.
You want me to call it.
Tails.
It's tails.
All right I'm deferring to you.
All right.
Okay.
Yep.
Because honestly I do the same thing.
Yeah.
That's all right.
I feel good with this one.
Actually the chiefs do it so I defer to.
Actually.
Actually what.
We're not going there today.
Actually while we were.
Recording this wall ago.
I looked up another fact about my.
Oh I got a shopper for you.
I did not know it but anyway.
Okay.
All right.
I can't wait.
I went with ten.
Like I said I had two extra just to protect myself from.
But go ahead.
I went with ten.
I've got ten.
The other two are scratched off.
I followed the rules this time.
All right.
I got two there.
Okay number ten.
Yep.
I went with Toto.
Actually that's a great choice.
They should have been bigger.
They went with different decades.
You know they did.
They were good.
I agree.
Okay number nine.
I had to go with my Southern Rock.
Little feet.
Oh okay.
Good choice.
Like I said I had to give my Southern Rock a little love there.
Mm hmm.
Number eight.
I got to give Kansas City some love.
Shooting Star.
Yeah.
They had some.
Yeah I agree.
They're still.
Well they were touring.
I see them down here.
I have one of their concert shirts from down here.
But that was before Van McLean died.
Yes.
Yeah I've met him.
I met so many members of them around town.
They're really good down there.
I have a guitar pick from when I see them in St. Joe.
Yeah.
They were playing Last Chance and he seen how much I was into their music.
Uh huh.
And he threw me the guitar pick from Last Chance and I still have it in my jewelry box.
That's cooler than hell.
Yeah.
All right on to number seven.
I really would have liked to see more out of this band.
Uh huh.
Fastway.
They're on my list too dude.
Uh their original you know their original album and then they did the trick or treat soundtrack.
Yeah.
Dude that was just awesome.
Yep.
I mean that music just hit.
Okay number six.
Cinderella.
I think Cinderella should have got more notoriety.
I would agree.
Number five UFO.
I got them on my list too.
Wow cool.
Okay okay okay.
This is where the fact comes in.
Okay.
The basis for UFO.
Uh huh.
Is Pete Way.
Yeah Wasted Pete Way is what they used to call him.
Who went on.
Fastway.
To be the bassist of Fastway.
Yes.
I just found that out while we were.
Really you didn't know that before.
Oh man I'll tell you what.
I always thought he was a guy that deserved more credit because of the bands that he was behind.
And also I believe that he had some dealings with Def Leppard before they got Phil Cullen and Steve.
Oh shit their guitarist Steve.
The one that died.
Oh well anyhow go ahead.
Yeah.
Okay number four.
Dan Seals.
Yeah okay okay.
Okay he started out with England Dan and John Ford Coley.
Oh wow.
Way back there.
Who had many hits.
Then they split.
Okay.
Then Dan Seals went on to have multiple number one country hits.
Wow.
Told you I was going to throw country in.
Good for you.
That was a great crossover dude.
That was perfect.
Yeah no I mean I've always loved Dan Seals.
Great songwriter.
You know.
Do you like him in a Crosby Seals Nash and Young.
Yes.
I do too.
Anyhow go ahead.
Okay number three.
I think Blue Wish and Colt should add more notoriety.
They are the ones that I took off of my list because they had twelve.
Well they hit my number three.
That's cool.
I can see why.
Number two.
My man Al Donova.
It ain't just him.
It's a band.
The music behind him even.
I really considered Al Donova but here's why I didn't.
You know Al Donova the reason he didn't put out more albums is because he was playing guitar for big bands in the studio.
I mean he is behind a lot of big bands.
He was like their secret weapon.
They're like hey Al Donova give us a rhythm.
Okay.
Okay all right.
Now he got some sort of a bridge you want to go with that and he would sell music and play music in the studio for people to help them complete songs.
So that's why I didn't put him in there.
Okay well I was going off what he produced.
Off what he came out with.
What he came out with was excellent and I agree.
Did you even get his later.
His albums were awesome.
Did you get his 90's album Mid 90's Blood on the Bricks.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's a good album too.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay number one.
All right.
Got to go with April 1.
They're on my list.
But they're not number one.
That's my number one.
I can see that totally.
Great job Rob. Great bands on there.
You really dug deep.
I appreciate that list a lot.
All right.
My number 10 is Uriah Heap.
Oh.
Yeah.
Uriah Heap should have got.
They have killer stuff.
I have always loved that band.
I have.
I've always been into their music.
They overlooked.
I swear they have.
They have some fantastic music out there.
They had their own sound.
Yes.
Excellent.
Yeah.
They are just excellent.
Excellent.
And all I got to say is this.
If you want to be familiar with Uriah Heap.
Just do a search.
Just go to your day and listen to a little bit of it at a time.
Yeah.
It's just phenomenal stuff.
Number nine.
E.L.O.
Or also known as Electric Light Orchestra.
Damn it.
That would have been my number.
Yeah.
They probably would have been my number 11.
E.L.O. is also another one that's criminally overlooked.
They had some hits.
I honestly thought about them the other day at work.
And forgot to write them down.
Yep.
I mean look.
We both know good music and E.L.O. is good music too.
Yeah.
Number eight.
Jethro Tull.
Yeah.
See that one.
All the way.
Yeah.
E.Crossman by him the other day too.
Yeah.
I heard Jesus looking dude that plays a flute one footed.
It's all right with me.
Right?
Yeah.
Number seven.
Fastway with Wasted Pete Way.
That number seven.
Number seven.
They were my number seven.
Oh wow.
We feel right and okay.
Yeah.
Perfect.
I like fucking Hatchet.
Oh.
Love you brother.
Yeah.
Molly Hatchet should have been much bigger.
I mean.
Yeah.
Their stuff was awesome.
Flirting with Disaster.
I mean all of that.
I mean their guitar.
I would love to see them.
Love to see them.
I always liked them better than Skinner.
Me too.
Number five.
April Wine.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
April Wine would have been lower on the list.
Oh I love the guys.
They would have been lower on my list but they had quite a few hits.
Sign of the Gypsy Queen.
Around town.
Just between you and me.
I mean they had quite a few hits.
And they did very well.
So I couldn't put them down there any further because they did do well.
It's just they should have done better.
They should have done a lot better.
Because there are a lot of songs they did that never got any notice.
Unfortunately.
So my number four.
But if you go back and listen to them.
And it's good.
When you listen to it it's like how come this wasn't a big hit.
How come this wasn't all over the radio.
Well I think their record.
Their record company wasn't really good at promoting them I believe.
That's what it looks like to me.
They should have been bigger.
Yeah.
They didn't have enough money to pay their.
Well you know record companies back then.
REO was bigger than Pink Floyd.
Because REO's record company supposedly came in and gave the DJs.
Hookers and Blow to play their music ahead of anything else.
So anyhow well documented.
Look it up. Google it.
Whatever.
So.
OK.
Number four.
Thin Lizzy.
Oh yes.
Thin Lizzy should have been huge.
They should have been huge by all accounts.
And I think they were bigger in England but I don't know.
I don't really know the English charts that well.
Number three.
OK.
I put them on a successful list.
Oh OK.
You see you just did what I did.
I have to me is a successful.
OK.
That's your opinion.
No no no.
I agree with that.
I just thought that the gap was bigger than April 1.
They should have gotten more.
I think they should have gotten more.
But that's cool.
Number two.
I think this is not going to be disputed at all.
And when you think about it you're going to have a wow I could have had V8 moment Rob.
King's X.
Oh.
King's X should have been huge by all accounts.
They were fantastic.
The singing the guitar playing the.
I never even gave them any thought.
King's X is criminally underrated.
I mean they are just.
I am so sorry.
And you know where they originated at right.
Springfield Missouri.
Yeah.
So.
And number one is so bad right now.
Number one I'm almost in tears here.
I am so sorry.
Number one.
UFO.
Right.
Oh.
UFO.
Was responsible for so many different sounds that came big later.
They were just really kind of ahead of their time.
I mean Michael Schenker was so good and then they got Vinnie Moore.
I mean they've always had great guitarists.
They've had great songs like Dr.
Doctor and all this stuff and I seen them open up for WASP a couple of years ago.
And.
Yeah.
It was just really really good.
Oh no no wait that was Michael Schenker.
Sorry.
He was the director of the Star Casino a couple of years ago.
And Phil Moog was incredible.
Some people are screaming for Vinnie Moore.
And they're going fuck yeah come on Vinnie Moore come on Vinnie Moore.
And Phil Moog he's an English gentleman.
He walks over there he goes.
You know because the acoustics in your in this room I can hear you.
And then they're all like.
He goes if you haven't noticed Mr.
Moore is over here.
But you know I got to be quite honest you know I am singing and I'm all I'm hearing is this gentleman's name.
And the people there with the big sides of Vinnie Moore sides are kind of like.
He was just screwing with him right.
So it was funny.
It's just the way he did it.
Just for the record.
What was your number 12 because I have a number 12.
OK hang on.
Number 12 was cheap trick.
Oh OK.
I think they should have been much bigger than.
Yeah I should.
But my number 12.
Yeah.
Montrose.
Oh OK.
I can't argue with that.
That's a good one.
What's your number 11.
That was.
Oh keep track.
OK.
My number 11 is not the hoop.
Oh.
The hoop is responsible for a lot of the 80s sound way before the 80s.
You know you have a good point there.
You have a good point there.
They were just ahead of their time.
If they would have came out a little bit later they would have been huge.
And they still have great songs too.
I mean you can listen to them and think they're straight out of the mid 80s.
So anyhow let's take our second break because Rob has a rasslin' roundup coming from your ear holes.
Yeah I'm going to need it because I'm going to be talking quite a bit.
He's going to make your ear holes bleed bitches.
Right.
Yep.
Alrighty we will be right back with Rob's rasslin' roundup.
The aboutloss just happened.
Rob you don't know what to do.
You don't know where to go.
But we can tell you what you can eat.
Hi all this is Mark here.
I'm usually the one telling you what to eat during an apocalypse.
Well this time I decided to go the other way.
You ever consider just going to ground zero and saying fuck it.
Do you really want to be the guy running around looking for radioactive deer.
Guessing whether water is not contaminated or not. No food no shelter no nothing.
Oh no there's a strong argument that says you know what.
Let's just go to ground zero and see what's for us after.
Just a thought.
Please remember to go to Cole's dressing room wait five minutes and scream.
Hey there's no toilet paper in here.
Hello this is Satan.
You might know me from my pet name inflation.
I'm here to tell you that there's no better way to relax than listening to douche bags and microphone by a nice warm fire at night.
I sit there and reflect on all the souls I burned that day.
Enjoy.
Oh lord that man just saw a puppy in half.
Hey there don't worry I have a clown nose.
I have a clown nose.
Oh no that drunk guy just hit my child.
It is okay I have a clown nose.
Clown nose just put one on and you can do anything.
Want to run for office murder people in public.
Just grab a clown nose and bam everyone laughs.
Clown noses are sold at gag stores online and pedophile conventions.
Grab one today and make magic happen.
Oh shit what's that over there.
Oh no it's the island of horrible jokes.
I put a wooden shoe in my toilet.
I guess it was clogged.
I'm out.
May your mother come to talk to you.
And then leave your door slightly ajar.
So that you may have to get up and close it.
Alright well I spent most of my day today watching the WWE elimination chamber.
It was the latest for pay per view I thought it was today well it ended up being yesterday.
But you watched it today.
So I had to plan all this in one day that's why I had a busy day today.
Yep.
Okay well elimination chamber happened in 1st Australia.
Nice.
Yeah it was at Octus Stadium.
There was 52,590 people in attendance.
Wow.
Well yeah there's a lot of connections here.
Okay.
Okay elimination chamber what it is.
There's 6 people.
The first 4 get into well there's a chain and steel cage around the ring.
Okay wow.
And in each corner there is what looks like a pexy glass and steel cage that 4 people get in each one.
One person in each corner.
Okay.
And then the next 2 people come in and start the match.
Well there's a thing I found out.
What looks like pexy glass is actually bullet proof glass.
They mentioned that.
Wow.
And the temperature most of the week in Perth, Australia was 100 degrees.
And these cages there's the only air you get through it is through the cracks and the doors and stuff.
While you're in the cages waiting your turn to come into the match.
Okay.
Yeah so there's very little oxygen in there.
Wow.
Yeah like I said I guess I'm digging into this.
Okay the first match was the women's tag team championship.
Uh huh.
Indy Hartwell and Candice LeRae which Indy Hartwell is an Australian native.
And Candice LeRae is a former NXT women's champion.
Okay.
Took on the Kabuki Warriors, Kari Sane and Asuka.
Okay.
It was a very good match.
Kari Sane with the insane elbow, Candice LeRae.
And yeah I mean Kabuki Warriors retain their titles.
Okay.
But I'm telling you keep your eyes on Indy Hartwell and Candice LeRae.
Up and comers.
Very very good tag team.
Okay cool.
Okay and they come to fight.
Okay.
Okay next up, this is where it gets long.
Okay.
The women's elimination chamber.
That's where they put four people in a corner in these cages.
Uh huh.
And it's an actual chain cage.
Yeah.
The walls are chained and steeled.
Okay.
Okay and the first entry was Bianca Belair.
Okay.
Then came Rockdale Rodriguez which had been injured but just come back this last Monday
and on Raw won a match to enter.
And then you had Tiffany Stratton with Morgan who just came back off what was it like 10 or 11 month injury.
Uh huh.
And then you got Naomi.
Okay.
And the final person, the man Becky Lynch.
Oh wow.
Okay.
Which Naomi and Becky Lynch started the match.
Then came in Lynn Morgan.
But and then Tiffany Stratton pinned Naomi.
See that's the thing.
If you get pinned, you're out of the match.
Okay.
Which comes in later.
Okay.
And then next up, next in was Bianca Belair.
Okay.
And then Lynn Morgan pinned Tiffany Stratton.
Cool.
And the last three fought hard. It was Belair, Bianca Belair pinned Rockdale Rodriguez.
Okay.
Then Lynn Morgan pinned Bianca.
And then Lynn Morgan gets pinned by Becky Lynch.
Cool.
And it was only like 10 seconds between Liv pinning Bianca and Becky turn around and got Liv.
It took about 10 seconds.
Yeah.
And the winner, so Becky Lynch moves on to take on Rhea Ripley for the women's championship at WrestleMania.
Okay.
Cool.
Next up was the males tag team championship.
Okay.
It was a new group, New Cats Republic, which is Tyler Bate and Pete Dunn, which Pete Dunn just changed his name.
He was Butch from the Fight Club with Ridge Holland and Sheamus.
Okay.
And they took on the champions, Finn Balor and Damian Priest to the Judgment Day.
Uh huh.
Dominique Mysterio puts Balor's foot on the ropes, gets caught, gets kicked out of the arena.
Balor gives the coup de grace to Pete Dunn to keep an eye on them to retain the titles, but I'm telling you what, keep an eye on Tyler Bate and Pete Dunn.
Cool.
That's a good tag team.
They work very good together.
So that's probably an up and comer then.
Yes.
In my opinion, yes.
Okay.
Well, I trust it.
You know what you're talking about.
Yeah.
And then they had their halftime show, which was their Grayson Waller effect.
Okay, Grayson Waller, it's like their talk show, you know, like Rowdy Roddy Piper used to have, you know, they've all done it.
Yeah.
But Grayson Waller happens to be from Sydney, Australia.
Uh huh.
I was not even going to report on this until I got to watch it.
Okay.
He'd come out and he had Austin Therese as his co-host.
He brings out Seth freaking Rawlins.
Uh huh.
Who happens to be world champion right now.
And then he calls out Cody Rhodes, the American Nightmare, who is set to take on Wilkman Reigns for the Universal Championship.
Okay.
At WrestleMania.
Yeah, it was stupid, but then Austin Therese ended up getting sidewalk stomped by Seth Rawlins.
Uh huh.
And then Cody Rhodes challenged Dwayne The Rock Johnson anytime, anywhere.
What does The Rock have anything to do with anything? Why did he do that?
Well, because The Rock stepped in and he was going to take on his cousin, Roman Reigns.
Oh.
At WrestleMania.
But Cody Rhodes, come on, The Rock's been gone forever.
Yeah.
How did he get to come in?
And Cody Rhodes actually stepped back.
He actually stepped back and let The Rock challenge him.
Oh wow.
But then, I think it was just his last week, Cody said no.
That's my match.
Cool.
So it's going to be Cody Rhodes and Roman Reigns at WrestleMania.
Sounds like a pretty good matchup.
But here's the interesting thing.
Seth Rawlins and Cody Rhodes was working really well against two of them.
Well, not the two of them.
They only beat the hell out of Austin Therese.
Okay.
Alright, next up we have the men's elimination chamber.
Okay.
Very good match.
I'll tell you, these elimination chamber matches, they beat the hell out of each other.
Sounds cool.
A lot of them.
Most of the time, there's only two people fighting.
The rest of them are laying around trying to catch their breath.
It hurts.
Got it.
Okay, and the men's Kevin Owens, first in.
Okay.
Should be one of your favorites.
He's from Quebec, Canada.
Known as the Prize Fighters.
Quebec is different than the rest of Canada.
I don't like them.
Okay, I did not know that.
Yeah, they don't like the rest of Canada.
They're French, they hate them.
And Canada doesn't like them.
Yeah.
I did not know that.
It's okay.
And then the second entrant was Bobby Lashley.
Uh huh.
To our Denver, Colorado fans.
He's from Denver, Colorado.
We have quite a few hits from Denver too, as you saw.
That's why I'm giving them a shout out.
Thank you Denver, much love.
I like Bobby Lashley, I do.
Okay, good.
Okay, and then the third entrant was the United States Champion,
Logan Paul from Minneapolis, Minnesota.
Okay.
And then the fourth entry, my man from St. Louis, Missouri, Randy Orton.
Oh cool.
And his entrance into this match tied him with Chris Jericho.
Cool.
For their ninth Elimination Chamber match.
Wow.
They have the most.
And then the fifth entrant Drew McIntyre from Scotland.
Uh huh.
That's all they had in Scotland, they didn't say what town.
Okay.
And number six, LA Knight from of course, LA, California.
Yeah.
So Drew McIntyre and LA Knight started out.
Next come in Kevin Owens.
Okay.
And then Drew took out both double cloth clothesline.
Oh hang on.
Okay.
The Viper, Randy Orton, Lashley and Drew already beat the hell out of each other.
Randy goes after Owens, everyone down, look at Paul, turns.
Uh.
McIntyre eliminated Bobby Lashley.
Oh dude, like I said, I wrote down all kinds of notes here.
Oh here.
But when they were taking Bobby Lashley out of the ring, cause they took him out on a stretcher.
Uh huh.
AJ Styles entered the ring.
Okay.
Beaked the hell out of LA Knight with a steel chair.
Okay.
Drew McIntyre on the ground, but.
Yeah, yeah.
Drew McIntyre happened to be laying next to him.
Uh huh.
Rolled over, put his arm over LA Knight, eliminates LA Knight.
Oh wow, okay.
Look at Paul and Kevin Owens keep going at it.
They have a long battle.
Mm hmm.
And uh, then Randy Orton ended up eliminating Kevin Owens.
Okay.
Then ended up a face-off between Randy Orton and Drew McIntyre.
Mm hmm.
But Randy Orton's back's hurt.
Logan Paul brings out the brass knuckles.
Okay.
Do you remember me talking about those brass knuckles on the last brass one round up?
Yes, it was a while ago, but yes I remember.
And that was against Kevin Owens.
Yeah.
Cool.
Well, Randy Orton sees it, takes out Owens.
Ooh, okay.
Then Drew McIntyre pains Orton.
Okay.
So Drew McIntyre goes on to fight at WrestleMania versus Seth the Freakin' Rollins for the title.
Nice.
And this is what lost me.
That was not the main event.
Okay.
The main event was the women's championship.
Okay.
It was Nyan Jax versus Rhea Ripley.
Okay.
Which I did a little research here.
I did not know this.
I thought Nyan Jax was like Simone.
Yeah.
But I Googled her.
Okay.
No, she is Australian-American.
Interesting.
She has part Australian blood and I almost bet not very many people at that arena do that.
Uh-huh.
But she looks Simone.
That's interesting.
Okay.
She took on the women's champion Rhea Ripley, which is part of Jutman Day, whose hometown is Adelaide, Australia.
Okay.
She started wrestling at 15 years old.
Okay.
Rhea Ripley has had the belt since last WrestleMania, so she's going on here.
Wow.
Okay.
Actually, Nyan dominated the first part of the match.
Okay.
But Rhea comes back.
Nyan takes over again.
Nope.
Uh, Nyan took everything off the announce table.
Or no, Rhea cleared the announce table.
Nyan, Simone drops Rhea on the table.
Uh-huh. On the announce table.
Uh-huh.
And they end up back in the ring.
Nyan, elbow drop, Rhea put Rhea through the table, drags in the ring, ends up the champion Rhea Ripley against Nyan Jackson and retains.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
Wow.
That took up most of my day, dude.
That was that, adulting.
Yeah, that was a great report.
Thank you, Rob.
You've got in detail about some of the backgrounds and everything.
I enjoyed that.
All right.
There was more I wrote down, but we're running out of time.
Yeah, I mean, you got to go to bed because you got to work early in the morning.
And we're going on an hour and 20 minutes.
I ain't worried about it. I'm having a good time.
Okay, that's good.
What we do, man.
All right. Well, on the next podcast, we have some emails.
I'm trying to get them caught up against the crews.
I'm doing pretty well.
Oh, yeah, you did say we were going to do them tonight.
No, no, no, no. We'll do them later.
But I told you it was a long one.
We didn't have time.
We got some more Ask Padling's coming.
I know.
And other stuff, too.
I got a couple.
I got some more new words into the for this is Webster.
Not that little group that I'm speaking of new words that they added to the dictionary as of this year.
We got some more than some odd questions, all kinds of stuff coming up.
So Tuesday will be our next podcast is Sunday night.
As of right now, I'm going to try to throw a podcast out tonight or this morning and then one tomorrow, hopefully.
So anyhow, everybody have a great night.
Thank you for listening.
Good night, assholes.
Hey, where do they go?
Where do they go?
Where are the douchebags?
Oh, my God. Someone took a dump in the corner.
Oh, geez.
Glad they're gone.
Let's just hope they don't come back.
Man, that smells.