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Live from the historic river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the crystal blue

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waters of the Missouri River, it's Two Douchebags and a Microphone Podcast.

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And now it's time for the Daily Douchebag Pledge.

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Two Douchebags and a Microphone Pledge, I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to download

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every show. I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to

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grab family members phones and download the show from there.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to go to public computers and download the show

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from there. I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to

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laugh at all the unfunny jokes. I, Joe, or Jane listener hereby promise to lie to all

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my friends and tell them how good the show is. And finally, I, Joe, or Jane listener

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promise to visit Montrose, Missouri to take advantage of the power plant, campgrounds,

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and junkyard all within its quarter mile radius.

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Two Shirley Temples and a bottle of scotch will be right back.

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Wild asparagus is plentiful and easy to find. It can be stewed with garlic and onion, which

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is both wild, which can be easily found, and a very tasty post-apocalypse food. You can

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make this into a delicious stew, and this will hold you over at least for a couple of

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days until you can find some other food. When taking a shower, remember to scrub your

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ass hole with soapy water, because nobody likes a stinky asshole.

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Alright, we are two douchebags and microphone freshly back from my vacation, and freshly

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not back from Rob's vacation, because Rob didn't get a vacation at all. Rob got an

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extra day work handed to him while I was gone, didn't you?

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Yes, I did. We went back to five days a week, but I did get a vacation from the show, which

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kind of rest my brain, let me relax a little bit, so here we go.

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We both needed it. I thought I was going to get all this writing done.

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Yeah, we've been at it for a little while. We both needed a little break.

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I got no writing done, not any at all, and I write so good, about 3 a.m. on the Lido

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deck of any ship, I write so good. I have some of the best ideas that come to me. I

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came up with some good ship for this podcast on many cruises before, or what I consider

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to be good. I guess it's an eye of the beholder, but some of the best stuff and the most creative

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things I ever came up with seemed to me coming from things like cruises, because I'm so relaxed

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and my mind just naturally works without having to try to force it. This time it was the opposite.

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I got up on the Lido deck and I said, I want to do a fucking thing, except listen to the

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ocean and drink a beer, and that's what I did. It was very well worth it. It was a lot

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of fun. It was obviously what we both needed. I mean, you didn't exactly get a vacation,

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but you got a vacation from this show, and it sounded like you needed it too, didn't you?

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Yeah, I definitely needed it. I needed a few days off to do what I needed to do around

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the house, being an adult. You know what I mean?

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You have the adulting stuff. I know exactly what you mean.

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And refresh my brain. I have to reset.

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Oh yeah. And I was so worn slick too. It wasn't the podcast necessarily, but I've been working

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very hard on it. I work really hard on this podcast.

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Oh, I know you do.

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I love it and I believe in it. It's something that I've been very passionate about all my

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life and you are too, Rob. You're the same way. You and I have talked. We feel the same

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way about it. It's a labor of love. Anyhow, I didn't realize that I really needed to get

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away from it until I was actually away from it. It really felt good to just be like, you

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know what? I got all these story ideas here and these notebooks and pads of paper and

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stuff. I'm like, no, it's not going to do it, man. They'll be there when I get back.

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That's why this is a resetting. This is going to be our official...

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Oh my God. I felt so bad. The whole time you were gone.

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Why?

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Because I was like, man, I'll take it a whole day. I know he's sitting there banging away,

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but I also got thinking, you know what? He's out on the ocean.

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I sent plenty of videos. Yeah, you sent.

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He probably don't have very good Wi-Fi, but I know his brain's going to town.

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Actually, the Wi-Fi was excellent on the ship. It's a brand new ship, the Jubilee.

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Yeah, yeah, I know. You told me about it.

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If I could have found a way to record, it would have been an excellent podcast because

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the Wi-Fi was that strong, but I could not bring all the equipment with me.

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It was just impossible to... I got this huge microphone.

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This big laptop is the only thing that can really handle that type of software that records

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a podcast that we do like this. To where we can splice, put in bits and do all that stuff.

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So there's no possible way to carry all that stuff. I mean, hell, I was just at 50...

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We're both right at 50 pounds on each one of our luggages.

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Anyhow, that's the best we could do.

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When we came back, we took Southwest because they had to switch flights.

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I went down there on American, which you have to pay for baggage.

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So I just only wanted to go take two bags. I didn't want to take an extra bag.

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After two bags, it's like 70 bucks or some shit.

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I'm like, you know what?

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Also, I don't like to carry out much luggage anyhow.

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So we had our two bags and one carry-on and that was it.

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So on the way back, it wasn't an issue because I actually canceled our original flight

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because our original flight was going to get back about half time.

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Anyhow, I was reading all the articles, looking at all this stuff about the game and all this stuff.

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I'm like, you know what? There's no way I'm going to watch this on a plane on a little bitty phone.

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And this is the Super Bowl. So I actually canceled that flight.

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Oh my goodness, jeez!

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Yeah, I canceled that flight and I got an earlier flight.

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It was the only flight I could get because everyone else had that same idea on the boat, I guess.

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Because I go there and I look at the available flights, right?

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And this is like Thursday before the Super Bowl.

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And there's like five or six that are earlier that are available.

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So anyhow, I was like, oh shit, it's dinner time.

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It's elegant night.

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So I had to put on the suit and all that stupid shit and all that stuff

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because you've got to have the pictures and all that stuff.

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So I'm like, all right. So I come back.

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The very next morning, I'm like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a flight.

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I put it on my phone next day when I woke up. Ding, ding, ding.

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I'm like, what the hell is it? Oh, yeah.

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So I get there and there's one flight left.

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And I'm like, shit.

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One flight that was earlier than ours that I got back about 10 minutes before the Super Bowl.

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But I'll get into all that story later, OK?

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But I actually changed flights on the way back.

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I could have had some extra luggage because Southwest had the best deal coming back.

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And that's how come I came in and George Bush Intercontinental.

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And I'm glad that I left hobby because I told you about the tornado watch going on and the severe storms.

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Yeah, yeah, you told me about it out there.

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Yeah. So anyhow, I'll tell this real quick and then we'll get into the Chiefs win in the Super Bowl.

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OK, so George Bush Intercontinental is actually in Katy, Texas, which is a northern suburb of Houston.

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These storms that were coming in, the severe line of storms that were coming in

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and why the tornado watch was issued was coming from the north, going to the south.

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Our friends from Canada that went with us on this cruise, it was the storm was hitting there.

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Both flights were supposed to take off about 130.

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It was hitting there. So their flights were all canceled.

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You could not fly in that. They're just too, too severe storms.

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So we're at hobby. So we get in the air.

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And when we're in the you know, when we first got over that first line of storms,

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that initial punch is a little bumpy. And, you know, it was a little concerning.

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You know, we got we got knocked around pretty good there.

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And it was an eye opener. That was for sure. And I was working on a couple hours sleep anyhow.

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So I'm like, oh, shit, I hope this isn't the whole flight.

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And so it wasn't. Luckily, that was it. After that, after the first 10 minutes, it settled down considerably.

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So we were lucky that I switched to hobby because we've been at George Bush Intercontinental.

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I don't know if we would even got home that night. It took our friends from Canada.

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Their flight was delayed six hours because of the weather, six hours.

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And they were flying into Calgary and then flying into where they live and which was right.

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Yeah, they were going a lot further. Yes.

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And that's why it had to be intercontinental because it was not the United States they were flying out of.

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So in Houston, you have two major airports. You have Hobby International, which is where we're at, is closer to downtown.

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And we're staying downtown Houston and on the way back on the way there, we stayed in Galveston to be near the cruise ship.

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So anyhow, Hobby is closer to downtown. So it was a much easier ride. It was about a 15 minute ride to Hobby Airport as as to if we were going to get a ride to intercontinental.

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George Bush Intercontinental had been over an hour. So it was it was a lot better on a lot of different reasons right there.

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And besides us getting in the air and getting out of out of there before the bad weather hit.

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So we were very fortunate and blessed on that we were able to get out of there.

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Just a couple of bumps and we got to get home on time.

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But I will tell the rest of that story a little bit later because like always, it's never that simple, is it Rob?

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Never.

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You know, when 99 percent of everything goes right, that one percent's going to kick you right in the ass, right?

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Oh, dude, you're going to be hurting for quite a while.

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Well, I'll tell you I'll get to that part of the story a little bit later.

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But first, we have some major news.

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The Kansas City Chiefs have repeated their Super Bowl championship and the Lombardi Trophy stays here.

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We own it. Amen. We own it for the next year. Amen.

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All the doubters. We told you everybody. We told you.

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All the snot this we're getting on from the West Coast, East Coast, all the fucking all the pylons, all the shit at the end.

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It didn't matter, did it?

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Because our beloved Kansas City Chiefs once again nut it up and beat your big bad forty niners.

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Yeah, I still love you.

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Right, Ruthanne, fuck off.

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Yeah, I said it. Fuck you. I don't want you listening.

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We have not done it in a while. And we've been on vacation.

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Hi, Grandma Opal.

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Grandma Opal, we love you. Sorry about the bad language.

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Yes, we do. Sorry for our vacation.

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Yeah, sorry about the vacation. We still love you. And I'm sorry about the bad language.

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I know you're a beautiful young lady and you do not need to hear such stuff.

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And I apologize profusely and I will try to temper my language for you because you're such a beautiful soul.

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So anyhow, hi Ruthanne. We missed you. We missed you more than you missed us.

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So and if your son ever sends me his name, we'll start incorporating his name too.

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Yeah, yeah.

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But he's got her grandson. Is her grandson, right?

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I think the original email said it was her grandson.

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That's what I thought too.

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I think that's what you said.

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Okay. Well if your grandson ever sends me his name, we'll include him on it too.

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So anyhow, Ruthanne, and thank you. And I know he listens because he downloads it for her.

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No, Opal. You're saying Ruthanne.

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Oh, God. Okay. Sorry. Yeah, yeah. Ruthanne, Ruthanne, screw off.

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You're saying that deep down, aren't you?

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Maybe I miss Ruthanne a little bit too. I'm feeling a little bad maybe.

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Okay. Okay. So Opal, I know your grandson listens and if he gives me his name, we'll start mentioning him too.

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But as of right now, I don't have a name. So anyhow, thank you Opal. We love you.

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So okay.

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Okay. Moving on.

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All right. Now, I have this thing I wrote about football being a game of inches.

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The last two Super Bowls have been a game of inches by so many proportions, by epic proportions.

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Gosh, if I could speak. Anyhow, here we go.

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Okay. Yes, it has and it's showing, isn't it?

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Okay. So this game of football I love so much is so full of strategies and plans.

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And in the end, it usually comes down to one or two huge plays.

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So all this planning and studying all boil down to a play or two normally.

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For instance, last year, Nick Sirianni, head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, called a timeout

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with the Chiefs on the Eagles five yard line of the Eagles in a minute 20 left.

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This leaves the Eagles with one timeout remaining when he called the timeout.

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Okay. Andy Reid realized that Sirianni is telling his team to lay down.

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So they would get the ball back with a minute 20 left.

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Now, the key thing to remember about this, Rob, is both defenses were gassed, right?

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Right.

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And we were just running rough shot at the end of that game.

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It's 38 to 35 was the final score.

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And we're just running rough shot because the defenses were gassed so bad.

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So Nick Sirianni was like over there.

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He called a timeout so he could tell his team, hey, lay down, let them score.

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We have a minute 20 left and with our offensive line, you know, and with Kelsey on there,

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you know, Travis' brother, Jason Kelsey, you know, and all the other linemen they had,

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they were going to go ahead and do a two point conversion and probably win the game by one point.

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Right.

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So now anyhow, they're going to do the two point conversion.

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So Reed took this opportunity to gather the offense on Sirianni's called timeout and tell them to fall short of the goal line,

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run out the clock, kick the field goal and go up by three points,

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therefore giving the Eagles three seconds to try whatever.

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Sure enough, everybody, McKennan, he fell down on the one yard line and had the ball centered up in the middle of the field.

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Buckeye kicks the winner right through the uprights.

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Right.

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Jalen Hurts, notoriously a much better runner than he was a passer.

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Agreed?

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Right.

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And he's getting, he was getting better as a passer, but he's not in my homes by any stretch.

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His arm strength is good, but not great.

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He doesn't pinpoint balls, kind of like Lamar Jackson.

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He can run your ass off and gas you like that.

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But if you corner him, he cannot throw those pinpoint passes that a Mahomes or a Josh Allen can do, you know, or even.

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Yeah, because the more he runs around, the more he gets gas.

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Yeah, Rodgers, Tagovaiola is pretty good at the pinpoint.

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So anyhow, you know, Jalen Hurts, much better runner.

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So with three seconds left, his Hail Mary was way off target and the rest is history.

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They won the Super Bowl.

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So that was a game of inches.

212
00:18:03,420 --> 00:18:05,420
That was close.

213
00:18:05,420 --> 00:18:15,420
That came down to Andy Reid outsmarting Nick Sirianni on the ump degree.

214
00:18:15,420 --> 00:18:16,420
Right.

215
00:18:16,420 --> 00:18:17,420
Right.

216
00:18:17,420 --> 00:18:18,420
Just the small things.

217
00:18:18,420 --> 00:18:19,420
OK.

218
00:18:19,420 --> 00:18:22,420
So, well, Nick Sirianni is telling his guys one thing.

219
00:18:22,420 --> 00:18:25,420
Andy Reid understood what he was saying to them.

220
00:18:25,420 --> 00:18:29,420
Andy Reid countered it with something even more intelligent.

221
00:18:29,420 --> 00:18:35,420
And that is to lie down at the one yard line since they only have one timeout left and there's a minute twenty left.

222
00:18:35,420 --> 00:18:41,420
That means the first play, they run down to the two minute mark.

223
00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:45,420
Second play, they have to call the timeout somewhere in there.

224
00:18:45,420 --> 00:18:49,420
Then third down, you could actually run in another 30 seconds down.

225
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:54,420
And by that time, they already calculated about three seconds left.

226
00:18:54,420 --> 00:19:01,420
And so with that three seconds, of course, maybe Mahomes could get a pass to somebody.

227
00:19:01,420 --> 00:19:05,420
Maybe Josh Allen or Aaron Rodgers could get a pass to somebody.

228
00:19:05,420 --> 00:19:07,420
But not Jaylen Hurts.

229
00:19:07,420 --> 00:19:08,420
So we weren't fearing that.

230
00:19:08,420 --> 00:19:12,420
And they went on to win the Super Bowl because of that.

231
00:19:12,420 --> 00:19:20,420
So anyhow, so this year's game, let's fast forward this year's game.

232
00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:22,420
Five and one remaining in the third quarter.

233
00:19:22,420 --> 00:19:31,420
Harrison Bucker, the Chiefs kicker, hits a 57 yard low line drive right through the uprights.

234
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:33,420
Super Bowl record, by the way.

235
00:19:33,420 --> 00:19:35,420
Yes, Super Bowl record.

236
00:19:35,420 --> 00:19:40,420
The ball was hit so low that a 49er lineman, I didn't get a chance to write down his name.

237
00:19:40,420 --> 00:19:42,420
I was going to look it up and I forgot.

238
00:19:42,420 --> 00:19:45,420
Was literally three inches away from blocking the kick.

239
00:19:45,420 --> 00:19:47,420
Did you see that? Did you see the replay?

240
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:49,420
Yeah, yeah, I watched the game, man.

241
00:19:49,420 --> 00:19:57,420
I actually got me a road to and I signed up for Paramount Plus.

242
00:19:57,420 --> 00:19:59,420
Good. I could actually watch it.

243
00:19:59,420 --> 00:20:03,420
I'm glad you got to watch the game. It was so good. It was so good.

244
00:20:03,420 --> 00:20:06,420
So anyhow, this will probably go down.

245
00:20:06,420 --> 00:20:07,420
It was.

246
00:20:07,420 --> 00:20:10,420
This is probably going to go down as the best Super Bowl ever.

247
00:20:10,420 --> 00:20:12,420
I mean, it was just it was that good.

248
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:17,420
So there's other parts of it that went so great.

249
00:20:17,420 --> 00:20:21,420
Yeah, like the first three quarters.

250
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:24,420
Yeah, so anyhow, literally it was such good defense.

251
00:20:24,420 --> 00:20:25,420
It was.

252
00:20:25,420 --> 00:20:27,420
I was going to usher.

253
00:20:27,420 --> 00:20:31,420
Oh, yeah. Well, you can do that here in a minute.

254
00:20:31,420 --> 00:20:34,420
Well, no, no, I didn't.

255
00:20:34,420 --> 00:20:35,420
Yeah, I got those stories.

256
00:20:35,420 --> 00:20:39,420
I thought I thought I thought he was horrible.

257
00:20:39,420 --> 00:20:43,420
I've read a lot of stories on the Internet.

258
00:20:43,420 --> 00:20:46,420
They were like, oh, my God, really?

259
00:20:46,420 --> 00:20:50,420
Look, I don't necessarily mind usher at all.

260
00:20:50,420 --> 00:20:54,420
I thought his performance was very ho hum.

261
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,420
I'm willing to call it.

262
00:20:56,420 --> 00:21:01,420
Usher would be probably up there on my list, you know?

263
00:21:01,420 --> 00:21:03,420
Yeah, but he did not bring it to me.

264
00:21:03,420 --> 00:21:04,420
I'm not much in the pop.

265
00:21:04,420 --> 00:21:09,420
Rayana last year brought up one hell of a stage show.

266
00:21:09,420 --> 00:21:14,420
I can't say I necessarily care for her act that much, but she commanded attention.

267
00:21:14,420 --> 00:21:16,420
Usher did not.

268
00:21:16,420 --> 00:21:25,420
And then he caused a big fervor with Alicia Keys, dry humping her and her husband wants to kill usher now from what I read.

269
00:21:25,420 --> 00:21:27,420
Anyhow, we can get into that a little bit later.

270
00:21:27,420 --> 00:21:28,420
OK, let me go ahead.

271
00:21:28,420 --> 00:21:31,420
Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's wait and see how that unfolds.

272
00:21:31,420 --> 00:21:32,420
Yeah.

273
00:21:32,420 --> 00:21:35,420
So let's go report on it.

274
00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:40,420
Yeah, yeah, I'm sure there's going to be some more reports on it because her husband was fucking with it.

275
00:21:40,420 --> 00:21:42,420
He's probably taking a ass beat over that.

276
00:21:42,420 --> 00:21:46,420
Yes, I think so. And also Alicia Keys was not very happy about that either.

277
00:21:46,420 --> 00:21:51,420
So yeah, so we went to this year's game, five one one remaining in the third quarter.

278
00:21:51,420 --> 00:21:57,420
Harrison Buck, Kurt's chiefs kicker hits a 57 yard low line drive right through the uprights.

279
00:21:57,420 --> 00:22:03,420
The ball was hit so low that the 49er lineman was literally three inches away from blocking the kick.

280
00:22:03,420 --> 00:22:07,420
I mean, his fingers was three inches away from blocking the kick.

281
00:22:07,420 --> 00:22:08,420
So there you go.

282
00:22:08,420 --> 00:22:10,420
Game of inches.

283
00:22:10,420 --> 00:22:18,420
Then subsequently, after a chiefs punt that hit a 49er on his foot lands in the hands of a chiefs player.

284
00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:22,420
This was probably three inches away from hitting the turf instead of his foot.

285
00:22:22,420 --> 00:22:24,420
What do you think?

286
00:22:24,420 --> 00:22:25,420
Yeah.

287
00:22:25,420 --> 00:22:34,420
So there again, you have a game of inches recorded right there again without any argument.

288
00:22:34,420 --> 00:22:43,420
If that ball was three inches over, it would have hit the turf and then the ball was, you know, if we get the ball, we just downed it.

289
00:22:43,420 --> 00:22:45,420
We don't get possession of it.

290
00:22:45,420 --> 00:22:49,420
So it was three inches away from hitting the turf instead of his foot.

291
00:22:49,420 --> 00:22:57,420
Then with 228 left in the third quarter, Mahomes nil, scantling, MBS in the end zone for a 16 yard touchdown.

292
00:22:57,420 --> 00:22:59,420
Game on.

293
00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:04,420
Tied up at 10, 1122 left in the game at this point.

294
00:23:04,420 --> 00:23:09,420
Soon after, San Francisco drives.

295
00:23:09,420 --> 00:23:12,420
It starts to get a little steam.

296
00:23:12,420 --> 00:23:16,420
Purdy hit Jennings in the end zone.

297
00:23:16,420 --> 00:23:22,420
And then the point after was blocked merely by three inches.

298
00:23:22,420 --> 00:23:25,420
And they would have went up by four.

299
00:23:25,420 --> 00:23:27,420
Right?

300
00:23:27,420 --> 00:23:31,420
The game was tieable at three with a field goal.

301
00:23:31,420 --> 00:23:35,420
So by just merely three inches.

302
00:23:35,420 --> 00:23:45,420
That extra point was blocked and made the game at the end of regulation tieable with a but Kerr kick.

303
00:23:45,420 --> 00:23:48,420
If he makes that kick, the chiefs don't win.

304
00:23:48,420 --> 00:23:51,420
They don't have enough time to go into the end zone.

305
00:23:51,420 --> 00:23:52,420
Right?

306
00:23:52,420 --> 00:23:53,420
Right.

307
00:23:53,420 --> 00:23:54,420
Right.

308
00:23:54,420 --> 00:23:57,420
So instead of going up by four, it would take a touchdown to win.

309
00:23:57,420 --> 00:24:06,420
Now a field goal try will tie the chiefs march down the field better running out of time and are forced to kick a game tying field goal.

310
00:24:06,420 --> 00:24:14,420
So three inches and but Kerr gets three points, then three inches in San Francisco does not get the extra point.

311
00:24:14,420 --> 00:24:21,420
And then three inches, the ball hits the San Francisco 49ers foot.

312
00:24:21,420 --> 00:24:24,420
And three inches.

313
00:24:24,420 --> 00:24:25,420
Wait a second.

314
00:24:25,420 --> 00:24:26,420
Three inches each time?

315
00:24:26,420 --> 00:24:27,420
Approximately.

316
00:24:27,420 --> 00:24:29,420
I didn't get out there with a measurement.

317
00:24:29,420 --> 00:24:30,420
OK.

318
00:24:30,420 --> 00:24:31,420
OK.

319
00:24:31,420 --> 00:24:32,420
OK.

320
00:24:32,420 --> 00:24:38,420
What I'm doing is I'm illustrating the fact of what a game of inches it actually is.

321
00:24:38,420 --> 00:24:41,420
I'm purposely accentuating three inches.

322
00:24:41,420 --> 00:24:42,420
You kept saying three inches.

323
00:24:42,420 --> 00:24:45,420
Is these exact measurements?

324
00:24:45,420 --> 00:24:51,420
I would I would bet to say they are three to five inches each one of them.

325
00:24:51,420 --> 00:24:52,420
They could not be more.

326
00:24:52,420 --> 00:24:54,420
They could not look at that.

327
00:24:54,420 --> 00:24:56,420
Go back and look at all of them.

328
00:24:56,420 --> 00:24:57,420
Slow motion.

329
00:24:57,420 --> 00:24:58,420
They have them on YouTube.

330
00:24:58,420 --> 00:25:00,420
I've studied them very carefully.

331
00:25:00,420 --> 00:25:02,420
Three to five inches at the very least.

332
00:25:02,420 --> 00:25:05,420
I would say closer to three inches each one of them.

333
00:25:05,420 --> 00:25:06,420
Wow.

334
00:25:06,420 --> 00:25:07,420
Yeah.

335
00:25:07,420 --> 00:25:10,420
Very, very interesting how it parlayed.

336
00:25:10,420 --> 00:25:14,420
So this is, you know, a game of inches literally.

337
00:25:14,420 --> 00:25:20,420
So San Francisco wins the overtime coin toss and elects to receive and was widely criticized

338
00:25:20,420 --> 00:25:22,420
for choosing that option.

339
00:25:22,420 --> 00:25:24,420
But I agreed with that decision.

340
00:25:24,420 --> 00:25:25,420
And here's why.

341
00:25:25,420 --> 00:25:30,420
And then after I already wrote this out, I heard Kyle Shanahan saying the same thing

342
00:25:30,420 --> 00:25:31,420
I thought.

343
00:25:31,420 --> 00:25:33,420
His defense was gassed.

344
00:25:33,420 --> 00:25:38,420
He needed to give his defense a break because if they let Kansas City go first, they would

345
00:25:38,420 --> 00:25:42,420
have run right down the field and scored a touchdown, which they did on the last drive

346
00:25:42,420 --> 00:25:43,420
anyhow.

347
00:25:43,420 --> 00:25:52,420
So, you know, so he was criticized immensely by letting the chiefs, by them going first.

348
00:25:52,420 --> 00:25:54,420
And then the chiefs stopped him.

349
00:25:54,420 --> 00:25:59,420
But the chiefs defense was plenty rested because the last drive was the Kansas City chiefs

350
00:25:59,420 --> 00:26:01,420
for about three minutes.

351
00:26:01,420 --> 00:26:05,420
And then they went into overtime and they had all the commercials and all that and all

352
00:26:05,420 --> 00:26:07,420
the other, the coin toss and all that.

353
00:26:07,420 --> 00:26:09,420
So their defense was rested up.

354
00:26:09,420 --> 00:26:11,420
San Francisco's was still gassed.

355
00:26:11,420 --> 00:26:18,420
So, you know, so Shanahan, I thought, made the right choice and he defended it and said

356
00:26:18,420 --> 00:26:20,420
he would do it again if he had to do the game over.

357
00:26:20,420 --> 00:26:21,420
And I agree with him.

358
00:26:21,420 --> 00:26:24,420
Their defense was gassed and so was ours.

359
00:26:24,420 --> 00:26:28,420
The team captain was simply trying to rest his defense while trying to take advantage

360
00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:32,420
of our defense being worn down, you know.

361
00:26:32,420 --> 00:26:34,420
But they did get enough rest.

362
00:26:34,420 --> 00:26:41,420
And that and their own reports, they did not understand the new overtime.

363
00:26:41,420 --> 00:26:42,420
Okay.

364
00:26:42,420 --> 00:26:44,420
I don't believe that.

365
00:26:44,420 --> 00:26:47,420
That, I don't know.

366
00:26:47,420 --> 00:26:49,420
Don't you think there's reports.

367
00:26:49,420 --> 00:26:54,420
Don't you think that Kyle Shanahan would have went over there like Andy Reid did and explained

368
00:26:54,420 --> 00:26:55,420
to them.

369
00:26:55,420 --> 00:26:57,420
Yeah, you're the head coach.

370
00:26:57,420 --> 00:26:59,420
It's your job to know this.

371
00:26:59,420 --> 00:27:06,420
The most important rule that our team knew that evidently some of the San Francisco 49ers

372
00:27:06,420 --> 00:27:07,420
said they didn't know.

373
00:27:07,420 --> 00:27:12,420
And the reason there's an argument at all is because the NFL has changed overtime rules

374
00:27:12,420 --> 00:27:14,420
because of the Chiefs.

375
00:27:14,420 --> 00:27:20,420
The Bills raised hell because we scored first after tying them with 13 seconds left.

376
00:27:20,420 --> 00:27:24,420
They raised hell and said we should have had a chance to win the game, but we were cut

377
00:27:24,420 --> 00:27:26,420
short because of your stupid rules.

378
00:27:26,420 --> 00:27:27,420
Well, they changed the rules.

379
00:27:27,420 --> 00:27:29,420
And now the Chiefs won like this.

380
00:27:29,420 --> 00:27:34,420
So, okay, they keep changing the rules so I can understand maybe someone not getting

381
00:27:34,420 --> 00:27:38,420
it, but I don't understand why Kyle Shanahan wouldn't have went over there and described

382
00:27:38,420 --> 00:27:39,420
to them what was going on.

383
00:27:39,420 --> 00:27:43,420
I'm pretty sure Andy Reid went over to my home and said don't worry about the first

384
00:27:43,420 --> 00:27:44,420
quarter running out.

385
00:27:44,420 --> 00:27:50,420
We have the right to score because of the rule change, because of us and the Bills game.

386
00:27:50,420 --> 00:27:51,420
Right.

387
00:27:51,420 --> 00:27:53,420
So there wasn't a worry.

388
00:27:53,420 --> 00:27:59,420
A lot of people thought that a lot of people were shitting and I had no idea because I

389
00:27:59,420 --> 00:28:00,420
knew the rule.

390
00:28:00,420 --> 00:28:04,420
People thought because we're down to like three seconds or whatever that if we didn't

391
00:28:04,420 --> 00:28:07,420
make that play right then we would have lost.

392
00:28:07,420 --> 00:28:10,420
No, it would have went back to 15 minutes.

393
00:28:10,420 --> 00:28:13,420
Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's another quarter.

394
00:28:13,420 --> 00:28:17,420
Yeah, there's another quarter that's going to happen until we either scored or didn't.

395
00:28:17,420 --> 00:28:22,420
If the homes went through an interception in the second quarter of overtime, that'd

396
00:28:22,420 --> 00:28:23,420
have been over.

397
00:28:23,420 --> 00:28:24,420
They would have won.

398
00:28:24,420 --> 00:28:28,420
Yeah, yeah, they would have scored twice and then over.

399
00:28:28,420 --> 00:28:34,420
If we kicked a field goal, it'd have been tied and went on in the second quarter.

400
00:28:34,420 --> 00:28:39,420
If San Francisco probably went downfield and scored seven or six because they wouldn't

401
00:28:39,420 --> 00:28:41,420
have kicked that extra point, they would have won.

402
00:28:41,420 --> 00:28:44,420
If they would have hit three and we would have hit seven on the second round in the

403
00:28:44,420 --> 00:28:47,420
second quarter, it would have been completely different.

404
00:28:47,420 --> 00:28:53,420
Part of this is San Francisco's offense and how they have to do everything.

405
00:28:53,420 --> 00:28:57,420
Brock Purdy's not like the best, hardest thrower around.

406
00:28:57,420 --> 00:28:59,420
They have to do this mid-passing game.

407
00:28:59,420 --> 00:29:06,420
They have to do these corner routes and these slant passes because he simply doesn't have

408
00:29:06,420 --> 00:29:11,420
the pinpoint arm strength as he demonstrated a few times throwing the long pass and missing

409
00:29:11,420 --> 00:29:12,420
miserably.

410
00:29:12,420 --> 00:29:15,420
He's a good quarterback, but he's not an elite quarterback.

411
00:29:15,420 --> 00:29:20,420
He's quite a bit reminiscent of Garoppolo, and I have to credit that to Colin Cowhert

412
00:29:20,420 --> 00:29:21,420
when I listened to him today.

413
00:29:21,420 --> 00:29:24,420
He pointed out some key issues and he's absolutely right.

414
00:29:24,420 --> 00:29:30,420
They basically have Jimmy Garoppolo with a very, very low number under the cap.

415
00:29:30,420 --> 00:29:35,420
The guy doesn't have the greatest arm, but he's good enough to get him to the promised

416
00:29:35,420 --> 00:29:38,420
land, but to win it, no, everything has to go right.

417
00:29:38,420 --> 00:29:42,420
He's not going to carry him on their back, although he played a really good game.

418
00:29:42,420 --> 00:29:48,420
So, anyhow, San Francisco marches downfield only to have the drive stalled.

419
00:29:48,420 --> 00:29:50,420
The scoring is held to a field goal.

420
00:29:50,420 --> 00:29:56,420
The Chiefs are in desperate need of a first down, so we see Reed pull more magic out of

421
00:29:56,420 --> 00:30:00,420
his hat with a designed Mahomes running play.

422
00:30:00,420 --> 00:30:02,420
Wasn't that cool?

423
00:30:02,420 --> 00:30:11,420
On fourth and one, Mahomes allegedly hands the ball off to, I believe it was Pacheco.

424
00:30:11,420 --> 00:30:13,420
Everybody pounces on Pacheco.

425
00:30:13,420 --> 00:30:18,420
Mahomes runs for nine or ten yards, gets a first down and a nice little chunk of yardage.

426
00:30:18,420 --> 00:30:19,420
But that wasn't it.

427
00:30:19,420 --> 00:30:22,420
He had another designed run play too that fooled him completely.

428
00:30:22,420 --> 00:30:26,420
He fucking panced him on both of them.

429
00:30:26,420 --> 00:30:27,420
Brilliant plays.

430
00:30:27,420 --> 00:30:32,420
You would not see this in regular season.

431
00:30:32,420 --> 00:30:33,420
That would never happen.

432
00:30:33,420 --> 00:30:34,420
He's too valuable.

433
00:30:34,420 --> 00:30:39,420
But if the Super Bowl is on the line, Mahomes will run and they have designed running plays

434
00:30:39,420 --> 00:30:43,420
for Mahomes that they do practice.

435
00:30:43,420 --> 00:30:52,420
But they only bring out the heavy artillery only when needed, which I support 100%.

436
00:30:52,420 --> 00:30:54,420
You don't get your guy injured.

437
00:30:54,420 --> 00:30:56,420
That's what you do.

438
00:30:56,420 --> 00:30:59,420
You're playing for all the bags on the field.

439
00:30:59,420 --> 00:31:01,420
You throw out whatever.

440
00:31:01,420 --> 00:31:03,420
And Mahomes did it.

441
00:31:03,420 --> 00:31:04,420
Mahomes did it like he always does.

442
00:31:04,420 --> 00:31:06,420
He finds a way to do it.

443
00:31:06,420 --> 00:31:09,420
You know, the Chiefs are in desperate need of a first down.

444
00:31:09,420 --> 00:31:13,420
The designed Mahomes run and play gets nine or ten yards more than they needed.

445
00:31:13,420 --> 00:31:17,420
You know, you could just see this completely deflating the 49ers defense.

446
00:31:17,420 --> 00:31:21,420
The drive-ins with a BB to Hardman in the end zone with a fake run and play.

447
00:31:21,420 --> 00:31:27,420
Again, San Francisco bit on it so hard, they need an orthodontist.

448
00:31:27,420 --> 00:31:32,420
They're fucking, they bit on it so hard their teeth are cracked.

449
00:31:32,420 --> 00:31:36,420
The game of inches I love so much once again prevails as such.

450
00:31:36,420 --> 00:31:40,420
Congrats to the Zebras for not screwing up the game of bullshit tic-tac penalties.

451
00:31:40,420 --> 00:31:43,420
Bravo! You guys listened.

452
00:31:43,420 --> 00:31:48,420
We didn't have a bunch of alleged holding calls or phantom pass interference calls.

453
00:31:48,420 --> 00:31:54,420
You guys left the game alone and it made the game much better, didn't it?

454
00:31:54,420 --> 00:31:56,420
Yep.

455
00:31:56,420 --> 00:31:59,420
Like we were always saying, you know, leave it alone.

456
00:31:59,420 --> 00:32:02,420
If you miss a call, that's fine.

457
00:32:02,420 --> 00:32:05,420
But if you call too many, it ruins the game.

458
00:32:05,420 --> 00:32:07,420
So...

459
00:32:07,420 --> 00:32:11,420
Honestly? Especially in the Super Bowl.

460
00:32:11,420 --> 00:32:13,420
Yeah, you don't want to see...

461
00:32:13,420 --> 00:32:16,420
You gotta let the boys play. Come on!

462
00:32:16,420 --> 00:32:24,420
You do not want to see a game being lost by an alleged holding call or an alleged phantom...

463
00:32:24,420 --> 00:32:26,420
Especially in the Super Bowl.

464
00:32:26,420 --> 00:32:32,420
Because some of these holding calls, let's be honest, their opinion at best...

465
00:32:32,420 --> 00:32:35,420
Oh my god, yeah, they've been nuts all year.

466
00:32:35,420 --> 00:32:36,420
Yeah.

467
00:32:36,420 --> 00:32:38,420
We've been calling, everybody's been calling them.

468
00:32:38,420 --> 00:32:45,420
I'm glad they decided whoever had to talk with them to lay off.

469
00:32:45,420 --> 00:32:46,420
Let them play.

470
00:32:46,420 --> 00:32:48,420
Let them play.

471
00:32:48,420 --> 00:32:53,420
People love this game. The game has never been better.

472
00:32:53,420 --> 00:32:56,420
The game is spot on.

473
00:32:56,420 --> 00:33:00,420
Look at how much money you're taking for the refs to fuck it up.

474
00:33:00,420 --> 00:33:01,420
Yes.

475
00:33:01,420 --> 00:33:03,420
Come on.

476
00:33:03,420 --> 00:33:08,420
The game was a perfectly, perfectly orchestrated piece of music.

477
00:33:08,420 --> 00:33:11,420
That needed no interruptions.

478
00:33:11,420 --> 00:33:13,420
And bravo, Zebras.

479
00:33:13,420 --> 00:33:15,420
Bravo, officials.

480
00:33:15,420 --> 00:33:17,420
You guys finally got it. You nailed it.

481
00:33:17,420 --> 00:33:20,420
Yeah, you got one right this year.

482
00:33:20,420 --> 00:33:24,420
So we're kind of proud of you.

483
00:33:24,420 --> 00:33:30,420
So anyhow, congratulations to our beloved Chiefs.

484
00:33:30,420 --> 00:33:38,420
We have one more year where we can walk around with our noses in the air and thumb ourselves at the rest of the NFL.

485
00:33:38,420 --> 00:33:47,420
Because we are the elite, we are the Chiefs, and we are the defending world champions once again.

486
00:33:47,420 --> 00:33:55,420
I've got a bunch of reports saying they're coming back for a three-peat.

487
00:33:55,420 --> 00:34:00,420
They want the three-peat. So let's see what they do next year.

488
00:34:00,420 --> 00:34:06,420
I've got an article from Yahoo Sports that I'm going to probably introduce tomorrow because I didn't have time to today.

489
00:34:06,420 --> 00:34:16,420
And it was very compelling about the thought of the Chiefs are primed without injuries for a three-peat.

490
00:34:16,420 --> 00:34:20,420
But I've got to caution people on this.

491
00:34:20,420 --> 00:34:31,420
Before we go talking three-peat, we have to look at the offseason, particularly Snead and Jones.

492
00:34:31,420 --> 00:34:33,420
Good point. Good point.

493
00:34:33,420 --> 00:34:40,420
Legeria Snead and Chris Jones need to be re-signed, but I don't think we have the money.

494
00:34:40,420 --> 00:34:42,420
I don't know if we can shit the money.

495
00:34:42,420 --> 00:34:46,420
We have draft picks we have to sign. We have other things we have to do.

496
00:34:46,420 --> 00:34:52,420
We already mortgaged our future a little bit to sign Chris Jones for this year.

497
00:34:52,420 --> 00:34:54,420
And it paid off. They won the Super Bowl.

498
00:34:54,420 --> 00:34:58,420
But to re-sign Chris Jones, they had to finagle Kelsey's contract.

499
00:34:58,420 --> 00:35:03,420
At some point, and then Mahomes' huge contract, which he deserves, no complaint.

500
00:35:03,420 --> 00:35:11,420
So at some point, it's got to come home to roost.

501
00:35:11,420 --> 00:35:18,420
At some point, they did themselves an immense favor when they traded Tyreek Hill

502
00:35:18,420 --> 00:35:22,420
and they got all the draft picks on the defense, like Carl Loftus.

503
00:35:22,420 --> 00:35:24,420
He's got another three years before you have to pay it.

504
00:35:24,420 --> 00:35:26,420
Well, you'll probably start him early.

505
00:35:26,420 --> 00:35:30,420
You'll probably re-sign him early and defer the money, because that guy is a phenomenal talent,

506
00:35:30,420 --> 00:35:32,420
as he's shown over and over again.

507
00:35:32,420 --> 00:35:35,420
Yes, he is. I've loved him since day one.

508
00:35:35,420 --> 00:35:37,420
Yeah, me too.

509
00:35:37,420 --> 00:35:41,420
That guy, he obviously was going to be a great player.

510
00:35:41,420 --> 00:35:45,420
His attitude, everything about him. Carl Loftus is a stud.

511
00:35:45,420 --> 00:35:51,420
And he's fast, he's quick, and he is, they call him Furious George.

512
00:35:51,420 --> 00:35:54,420
And that's because he plays with fury and passion.

513
00:35:54,420 --> 00:35:58,420
The guy, he is a superstar in the making.

514
00:35:58,420 --> 00:36:01,420
And I can't wait to see this guy evolve into what he's going to become.

515
00:36:01,420 --> 00:36:05,420
But everybody says he's a great guy.

516
00:36:05,420 --> 00:36:07,420
He is, he is.

517
00:36:07,420 --> 00:36:11,420
It's just that when you meet him on the field, you don't think so.

518
00:36:11,420 --> 00:36:15,420
He has that fire, he has that flair.

519
00:36:15,420 --> 00:36:20,420
He has a spin around move. If you remember Neil Smith.

520
00:36:20,420 --> 00:36:23,420
Yeah, oh God.

521
00:36:23,420 --> 00:36:27,420
How could you forget Neil Smith, the great Neil Smith, awesome guy too.

522
00:36:27,420 --> 00:36:30,420
Speaking of awesome guys, or both awesome guys.

523
00:36:30,420 --> 00:36:35,420
So Neil Smith, you thought you had the guy stopped.

524
00:36:35,420 --> 00:36:41,420
And he had the ability to spin around, lose you, and grab the quarterback in the same spin motion.

525
00:36:41,420 --> 00:36:44,420
I've seen Carl Loftus do this a few times now.

526
00:36:44,420 --> 00:36:48,420
And that is a God given talent that you don't just find one day.

527
00:36:48,420 --> 00:36:53,420
You're either born with that or you're not. Carl Loftus is born with that.

528
00:36:53,420 --> 00:36:58,420
So Carl Loftus, awesome.

529
00:36:58,420 --> 00:37:03,420
How's it been going? Proud, proud Greek brother.

530
00:37:03,420 --> 00:37:08,420
He wears the Greek flag on his locker.

531
00:37:08,420 --> 00:37:14,420
So anyhow, and that's how I got my relatives a little bit more interested in the Chiefs.

532
00:37:14,420 --> 00:37:19,420
So anyhow, you got to do what you got to do.

533
00:37:19,420 --> 00:37:22,420
As a matter of fact, my cousin, Mataksa, lives in Canada.

534
00:37:22,420 --> 00:37:26,420
Now every time the Chiefs are playing in the postseason or even last games,

535
00:37:26,420 --> 00:37:28,420
he's like sending me messages on Facebook.

536
00:37:28,420 --> 00:37:31,420
Hey man, what do you think is going to happen today?

537
00:37:31,420 --> 00:37:34,420
And I'm like, wow, because he's a soccer guy. All of them up there are soccer.

538
00:37:34,420 --> 00:37:36,420
They love soccer. They grew up on soccer.

539
00:37:36,420 --> 00:37:39,420
And anyhow, he's starting to get a little bit more interested in football.

540
00:37:39,420 --> 00:37:43,420
Not just because of Carl Loftus, but because the Chiefs are so compelling.

541
00:37:43,420 --> 00:37:47,420
The Taylor Swift angle of it, you know, all that stuff.

542
00:37:47,420 --> 00:37:49,420
You know, he has daughters. He has three daughters.

543
00:37:49,420 --> 00:37:51,420
And I'm sure they're into Taylor Swift.

544
00:37:51,420 --> 00:37:56,420
Anyhow, so Ava, my cousin's daughter, I guess that'd be my second cousin,

545
00:37:56,420 --> 00:38:00,420
she wants to come to Arrowhead badly and send me a message going,

546
00:38:00,420 --> 00:38:01,420
will you please take me to Arrowhead?

547
00:38:01,420 --> 00:38:04,420
I said, you find your way down here and we will make it there.

548
00:38:04,420 --> 00:38:06,420
So anyhow, so.

549
00:38:06,420 --> 00:38:08,420
Well, I mean, yeah, I mean, come on.

550
00:38:08,420 --> 00:38:13,420
It's, look, I mean, I'm talking about the top of media right now.

551
00:38:13,420 --> 00:38:15,420
Yeah, look, I may have.

552
00:38:15,420 --> 00:38:18,420
Everybody in the world knows about this right now.

553
00:38:18,420 --> 00:38:22,420
Oh, I know I may have that kind of outgrown Arrowhead, but you know what?

554
00:38:22,420 --> 00:38:25,420
If I could take my relatives there and let them experience there,

555
00:38:25,420 --> 00:38:27,420
I would gladly do it in a hot second.

556
00:38:27,420 --> 00:38:29,420
And I think that's going to happen.

557
00:38:29,420 --> 00:38:31,420
There would be no better feeling.

558
00:38:31,420 --> 00:38:33,420
Yes. So anyhow, we.

559
00:38:33,420 --> 00:38:37,420
Somebody from a totally different country.

560
00:38:37,420 --> 00:38:38,420
Yeah.

561
00:38:38,420 --> 00:38:40,420
Well, and also want to take my cousin.

562
00:38:40,420 --> 00:38:45,420
He's really into barbecue now because when he came down to take his daughter

563
00:38:45,420 --> 00:38:50,420
to Northwest State University, she's going to go to Taylor in Indiana on a

564
00:38:50,420 --> 00:38:52,420
soccer scholarship. Yeah.

565
00:38:52,420 --> 00:38:54,420
Yeah. On a soccer scholarship.

566
00:38:54,420 --> 00:38:57,420
But a couple of places were like Avila right up the road for me.

567
00:38:57,420 --> 00:39:02,420
And another place was Northwest State University in Maryville.

568
00:39:02,420 --> 00:39:03,420
So when they came down here.

569
00:39:03,420 --> 00:39:05,420
I know where Avila is at.

570
00:39:05,420 --> 00:39:08,420
Yeah. Yeah. I live a mile away from Avila.

571
00:39:08,420 --> 00:39:09,420
Yeah. Yeah. OK.

572
00:39:09,420 --> 00:39:13,420
I'm getting a pinpoint about where you're at.

573
00:39:13,420 --> 00:39:16,420
Yeah, I'm basically Red Bridge area.

574
00:39:16,420 --> 00:39:19,420
So, OK.

575
00:39:19,420 --> 00:39:24,420
So anyhow, she got these invites from all these schools.

576
00:39:24,420 --> 00:39:27,420
And while they're going to Northwest State and Avila, we were like, hey,

577
00:39:27,420 --> 00:39:28,420
come on down.

578
00:39:28,420 --> 00:39:32,420
We got a couple of days and I took him to Jack stack for the Burn Ends and a

579
00:39:32,420 --> 00:39:35,420
couple of Q39 and some other places.

580
00:39:35,420 --> 00:39:39,420
But he'd already seen this thing on the food channel or something about Burn

581
00:39:39,420 --> 00:39:41,420
Ends and how they originated in Kansas City.

582
00:39:41,420 --> 00:39:45,420
So like he's he's been wanting to go to the American Royal really bad,

583
00:39:45,420 --> 00:39:47,420
which is now an arrowhead.

584
00:39:47,420 --> 00:39:51,420
So he was already scheduled to go to Arrowhead, but for a different event.

585
00:39:51,420 --> 00:39:57,420
So now it's like, OK, got to take Metaxas there for for the American

586
00:39:57,420 --> 00:39:59,420
Royal and Avila there for Arrowhead.

587
00:39:59,420 --> 00:40:02,420
But now Metaxas will probably want to go to Arrowhead, too.

588
00:40:02,420 --> 00:40:06,420
And so it's going to be a neat thing because Arrowhead is a focal point of all

589
00:40:06,420 --> 00:40:12,420
these and also the World Cup coming up next year, I think, twenty twenty five.

590
00:40:12,420 --> 00:40:14,420
Or is it this year?

591
00:40:14,420 --> 00:40:16,420
Oh, the World Cup is going to be here one of these years.

592
00:40:16,420 --> 00:40:20,420
You know, like I wish I could say better, but I'm just not that big of a

593
00:40:20,420 --> 00:40:22,420
soccer fan. I've tried.

594
00:40:22,420 --> 00:40:23,420
I just don't get.

595
00:40:23,420 --> 00:40:26,420
I'm honestly.

596
00:40:28,420 --> 00:40:31,420
Checking out a little more myself.

597
00:40:31,420 --> 00:40:32,420
I really am.

598
00:40:32,420 --> 00:40:36,420
I like it, but I'm just not real passionate about it.

599
00:40:36,420 --> 00:40:39,420
I've always had a little thing to soccer.

600
00:40:39,420 --> 00:40:40,420
I really have.

601
00:40:40,420 --> 00:40:41,420
That's cool.

602
00:40:41,420 --> 00:40:43,420
And you're slightly younger than me, too.

603
00:40:43,420 --> 00:40:46,420
Maybe when I was growing up, there wasn't any soccer where I was around.

604
00:40:46,420 --> 00:40:48,420
I had no idea about it.

605
00:40:48,420 --> 00:40:50,420
I learned about it later after I was growing.

606
00:40:50,420 --> 00:40:54,420
I'm like, oh, what's this football stuff that you talk about?

607
00:40:54,420 --> 00:40:57,420
I never I never really played soccer.

608
00:40:57,420 --> 00:41:03,420
I'd rather just play in the school yard, you know, but.

609
00:41:03,420 --> 00:41:04,420
I don't know.

610
00:41:04,420 --> 00:41:06,420
I did.

611
00:41:06,420 --> 00:41:11,420
I was assistant coach for one of my stepdaughter's soccer teams.

612
00:41:11,420 --> 00:41:13,420
Oh, OK.

613
00:41:13,420 --> 00:41:14,420
Yeah. All right.

614
00:41:14,420 --> 00:41:16,420
Hey, let's take our first break.

615
00:41:16,420 --> 00:41:17,420
We're way, way, way late.

616
00:41:17,420 --> 00:41:18,420
We're going on 40 minutes.

617
00:41:18,420 --> 00:41:22,420
So anyhow, we'll be right back after this with some more stuff.

618
00:41:22,420 --> 00:41:24,420
We're not sure what, but we'll figure it out.

619
00:41:24,420 --> 00:41:25,420
Yeah.

620
00:41:25,420 --> 00:41:28,420
I know what we're going to get.

621
00:41:28,420 --> 00:41:29,420
Yeah. All right.

622
00:41:29,420 --> 00:41:30,420
We'll be we know what we got.

623
00:41:30,420 --> 00:41:33,420
I got some more NFL stuff for you.

624
00:41:33,420 --> 00:41:34,420
All right.

625
00:41:34,420 --> 00:41:39,420
We'll be right back in a couple of minutes.

626
00:41:39,420 --> 00:41:41,420
I smell bacon.

627
00:41:41,420 --> 00:41:44,420
No, wait, it's just Mark sweating.

628
00:41:44,420 --> 00:41:47,420
Hey, fellas, remember to wipe away from the twins.

629
00:41:47,420 --> 00:41:54,420
Stay fresh ideas from the douchebags.

630
00:41:54,420 --> 00:41:56,420
What's that over there?

631
00:41:56,420 --> 00:41:57,420
Oh, no.

632
00:41:57,420 --> 00:41:58,420
It's silent.

633
00:41:58,420 --> 00:41:59,420
Horrible jokes.

634
00:41:59,420 --> 00:42:07,420
Oh, I can't take my dog to the lake.

635
00:42:07,420 --> 00:42:10,420
The dogs keep attacking.

636
00:42:10,420 --> 00:42:23,420
That's what I get for having a purebred dog.

637
00:42:23,420 --> 00:42:27,420
Next up, things over heard in hell.

638
00:42:27,420 --> 00:42:33,420
Man, Axel Rose is such a great childhood therapist.

639
00:42:33,420 --> 00:42:37,420
I hope he writes more books.

640
00:42:37,420 --> 00:42:40,420
Since we haven't a budget here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone,

641
00:42:40,420 --> 00:42:44,420
here's a random guy on the street to promote our show.

642
00:42:44,420 --> 00:42:45,420
Hi, everybody.

643
00:42:45,420 --> 00:42:47,420
I'm Thready.

644
00:42:47,420 --> 00:42:50,420
I love listening to Two Douchebags and a Microphone,

645
00:42:50,420 --> 00:42:53,420
and I get all my pertinent information from them.

646
00:42:53,420 --> 00:42:57,420
They are incredible, and I love them so.

647
00:42:57,420 --> 00:43:01,420
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

648
00:43:01,420 --> 00:43:04,420
It's strange insults from an alien.

649
00:43:04,420 --> 00:43:05,420
Real hilarity.

650
00:43:05,420 --> 00:43:18,420
Your IQ isn't even room temperature.

651
00:43:18,420 --> 00:43:19,420
Oh, Lord.

652
00:43:19,420 --> 00:43:22,420
That man just saw a puppy in half.

653
00:43:22,420 --> 00:43:23,420
Hey there.

654
00:43:23,420 --> 00:43:24,420
Don't worry.

655
00:43:24,420 --> 00:43:29,420
I have a clown nose.

656
00:43:29,420 --> 00:43:31,420
Oh, no.

657
00:43:31,420 --> 00:43:34,420
That drunk guy just hit my child.

658
00:43:34,420 --> 00:43:36,420
It's OK.

659
00:43:36,420 --> 00:43:38,420
I have a clown nose.

660
00:43:38,420 --> 00:43:39,420
Clown nose.

661
00:43:39,420 --> 00:43:42,420
Just put one on, and you can do anything.

662
00:43:42,420 --> 00:43:43,420
Want to run for office?

663
00:43:43,420 --> 00:43:45,420
Murder people in public?

664
00:43:45,420 --> 00:43:49,420
Just grab a clown nose and bam, everyone laughs.

665
00:43:49,420 --> 00:43:51,420
Clown noses are sold at gag stores online and pedophile conventions.

666
00:43:51,420 --> 00:43:54,420
Grab one today and make magic happen.

667
00:43:54,420 --> 00:44:02,420
Once again, it's time for Rambling of a Madman.

668
00:44:02,420 --> 00:44:11,420
I believe Congress needs to synchronize tap dance for 20 minutes before each session.

669
00:44:11,420 --> 00:44:14,420
That needs to happen.

670
00:44:14,420 --> 00:44:35,420
I believe Congress needs to synchronize tap dance for 20 minutes before each session.

671
00:44:35,420 --> 00:44:36,420
Alright.

672
00:44:36,420 --> 00:44:38,420
Two douchebags and a microphone.

673
00:44:38,420 --> 00:44:39,420
I'm Mark.

674
00:44:39,420 --> 00:44:41,420
And I am Ross.

675
00:44:41,420 --> 00:44:42,420
Alright.

676
00:44:42,420 --> 00:44:45,420
I'm very happy, very glad to be back at it.

677
00:44:45,420 --> 00:44:46,420
Oh, yeah.

678
00:44:46,420 --> 00:44:48,420
Honestly, I am too.

679
00:44:48,420 --> 00:44:49,420
I am too.

680
00:44:49,420 --> 00:44:50,420
I've kind of missed it.

681
00:44:50,420 --> 00:44:52,420
I'm a little re-energized now.

682
00:44:52,420 --> 00:44:53,420
I feel good.

683
00:44:53,420 --> 00:44:54,420
I'm ready to talk.

684
00:44:54,420 --> 00:44:55,420
So, Rob.

685
00:44:55,420 --> 00:44:56,420
My mind's a little fresher.

686
00:44:56,420 --> 00:44:57,420
Mine too.

687
00:44:57,420 --> 00:44:58,420
Mine too.

688
00:44:58,420 --> 00:45:06,420
And I told you about the days I had before the trip and trying to get the color printer

689
00:45:06,420 --> 00:45:09,420
and my printer and the colors messed up.

690
00:45:09,420 --> 00:45:17,420
And I thought that all the boarding passes were color-coded, which I later found out

691
00:45:17,420 --> 00:45:18,420
wasn't.

692
00:45:18,420 --> 00:45:21,420
So, I go to all these different...

693
00:45:21,420 --> 00:45:26,420
My friend's copier is on the Blitz, like mine, only doing black and white.

694
00:45:26,420 --> 00:45:34,420
I brought out my printer from the closet and it almost destroyed my computer.

695
00:45:34,420 --> 00:45:36,420
And I'm like, shit!

696
00:45:36,420 --> 00:45:38,420
What am I going to do?

697
00:45:38,420 --> 00:45:40,420
Until then, I'm like, all right, I'll go to Office Max.

698
00:45:40,420 --> 00:45:44,420
I go to Office Max number one on Main Street in Kansas City because I was coming back from

699
00:45:44,420 --> 00:45:45,420
running some errands.

700
00:45:45,420 --> 00:45:46,420
Oh, we don't have one.

701
00:45:46,420 --> 00:45:47,420
All right.

702
00:45:47,420 --> 00:45:48,420
We don't have one anymore.

703
00:45:48,420 --> 00:45:49,420
Oh, okay.

704
00:45:49,420 --> 00:45:51,420
You don't have a printer center or nothing?

705
00:45:51,420 --> 00:45:52,420
I can't buy prints.

706
00:45:52,420 --> 00:45:53,420
No.

707
00:45:53,420 --> 00:45:54,420
No, we don't do it anymore.

708
00:45:54,420 --> 00:45:55,420
Sorry.

709
00:45:55,420 --> 00:45:56,420
The one in Lenexa does.

710
00:45:56,420 --> 00:45:57,420
The one in Lenexa.

711
00:45:57,420 --> 00:45:58,420
The traffic's horrible.

712
00:45:58,420 --> 00:45:59,420
Oh, no.

713
00:45:59,420 --> 00:46:03,420
We took it out last week.

714
00:46:03,420 --> 00:46:04,420
Shit.

715
00:46:04,420 --> 00:46:10,420
So, you might try the Office Depot, the big one over...

716
00:46:10,420 --> 00:46:14,420
Oh, jeez, I forgot the name of the road.

717
00:46:14,420 --> 00:46:16,420
If I told you, you'd know what I'm talking about.

718
00:46:16,420 --> 00:46:18,420
But anyhow, go there.

719
00:46:18,420 --> 00:46:20,420
No, I don't think anyone does it anymore.

720
00:46:20,420 --> 00:46:22,420
You know any place to do it?

721
00:46:22,420 --> 00:46:24,420
Oh, your local library.

722
00:46:24,420 --> 00:46:25,420
What?

723
00:46:25,420 --> 00:46:29,420
Yeah, your local library does this.

724
00:46:29,420 --> 00:46:30,420
Shit.

725
00:46:30,420 --> 00:46:33,420
So, I go five miles away.

726
00:46:33,420 --> 00:46:34,420
Actually, two miles...

727
00:46:34,420 --> 00:46:35,420
I have a library card.

728
00:46:35,420 --> 00:46:37,420
I didn't know they offered that stuff.

729
00:46:37,420 --> 00:46:38,420
Yeah.

730
00:46:38,420 --> 00:46:39,420
I go two miles up the road.

731
00:46:39,420 --> 00:46:42,420
Okay, mine's in Campton, but, you know.

732
00:46:42,420 --> 00:46:44,420
My library's two miles up the road.

733
00:46:44,420 --> 00:46:47,420
I did all that running in hours for nothing.

734
00:46:47,420 --> 00:46:49,420
And then there's all different kinds of stuff, too.

735
00:46:49,420 --> 00:46:52,420
I had to shim the door to get it to lock.

736
00:46:52,420 --> 00:46:56,420
I mean, the hot tub, I had to balance that water.

737
00:46:56,420 --> 00:46:58,420
And then I ran out of certain...

738
00:46:58,420 --> 00:46:59,420
Yeah, yeah.

739
00:46:59,420 --> 00:47:02,420
I ran out of chemicals, so I had to go on a chemical search.

740
00:47:02,420 --> 00:47:03,420
It was just...

741
00:47:03,420 --> 00:47:07,420
Anyhow, I'm refreshed now, and I was frazzled before, so...

742
00:47:07,420 --> 00:47:12,420
Well, yeah, you take a week off, everything pays its price.

743
00:47:12,420 --> 00:47:13,420
Yeah.

744
00:47:13,420 --> 00:47:17,420
Yeah, well, I come back and I balanced the water so well,

745
00:47:17,420 --> 00:47:20,420
all I had to do was add one scoop of pH.

746
00:47:20,420 --> 00:47:22,420
And the water was fine.

747
00:47:22,420 --> 00:47:24,420
I was like, wow.

748
00:47:24,420 --> 00:47:26,420
Hey, I can teach you some tricks.

749
00:47:26,420 --> 00:47:31,420
I'm starting to learn some, but if you got something you can show me, please.

750
00:47:31,420 --> 00:47:34,420
That would be great.

751
00:47:34,420 --> 00:47:38,420
Well, I think I have one of my old CTOs

752
00:47:38,420 --> 00:47:43,420
with a certified pooling operator book, perhaps, or something like that.

753
00:47:43,420 --> 00:47:45,420
That would be cool.

754
00:47:45,420 --> 00:47:48,420
The one I had to read and pass the test on.

755
00:47:48,420 --> 00:47:50,420
That would be exactly what I need.

756
00:47:50,420 --> 00:47:56,420
That was for a five-year national certification.

757
00:47:56,420 --> 00:47:58,420
Oh, yeah, I know you're talking about through...

758
00:47:58,420 --> 00:47:59,420
Yeah.

759
00:47:59,420 --> 00:48:02,420
Was it Cert-i-Tech or something like that?

760
00:48:02,420 --> 00:48:04,420
No, it's certified pooling...

761
00:48:04,420 --> 00:48:05,420
Certified.

762
00:48:05,420 --> 00:48:06,420
...and a small operator.

763
00:48:06,420 --> 00:48:07,420
Okay.

764
00:48:07,420 --> 00:48:08,420
Yeah.

765
00:48:08,420 --> 00:48:09,420
Okay.

766
00:48:09,420 --> 00:48:10,420
But it's national.

767
00:48:10,420 --> 00:48:13,420
I could have went anywhere in the 50 states.

768
00:48:13,420 --> 00:48:15,420
You'd go to Florida right now.

769
00:48:15,420 --> 00:48:19,420
I see a pool I didn't like.

770
00:48:19,420 --> 00:48:22,420
I could shut it down until it passed my inspection.

771
00:48:22,420 --> 00:48:23,420
That'd be so cool.

772
00:48:23,420 --> 00:48:24,420
It'd be okay.

773
00:48:24,420 --> 00:48:27,420
If someone's being a dick to you, you could go to their home personally

774
00:48:27,420 --> 00:48:29,420
and shut down their pool.

775
00:48:29,420 --> 00:48:30,420
Wouldn't that be great?

776
00:48:30,420 --> 00:48:31,420
No, no, no.

777
00:48:31,420 --> 00:48:36,420
I had to have the test results, everything.

778
00:48:36,420 --> 00:48:37,420
Yeah.

779
00:48:37,420 --> 00:48:38,420
Okay.

780
00:48:38,420 --> 00:48:39,420
There's...

781
00:48:39,420 --> 00:48:41,420
So if someone's being a dick to you, you just couldn't go over there

782
00:48:41,420 --> 00:48:43,420
and shut down their pool.

783
00:48:43,420 --> 00:48:45,420
No, no.

784
00:48:45,420 --> 00:48:47,420
I could not do that.

785
00:48:47,420 --> 00:48:52,420
But now if I went to a friend's house

786
00:48:52,420 --> 00:48:55,420
and their pool looked like a...

787
00:48:55,420 --> 00:48:57,420
A fungus factory.

788
00:48:57,420 --> 00:48:59,420
...drug pond.

789
00:48:59,420 --> 00:49:00,420
Yeah.

790
00:49:00,420 --> 00:49:04,420
Drug pond.

791
00:49:04,420 --> 00:49:06,420
I could legally shut them down.

792
00:49:06,420 --> 00:49:09,420
Well, yeah, because the algae in there can be very harmful to people.

793
00:49:09,420 --> 00:49:12,420
It can even kill people.

794
00:49:12,420 --> 00:49:15,420
But it didn't just go residential.

795
00:49:15,420 --> 00:49:16,420
I could go to...

796
00:49:16,420 --> 00:49:19,420
If I went to a hotel

797
00:49:19,420 --> 00:49:23,420
and I thought something was wrong,

798
00:49:23,420 --> 00:49:25,420
all I had to do was pull out my card

799
00:49:25,420 --> 00:49:28,420
and they would have to prove to me right then and there

800
00:49:28,420 --> 00:49:31,420
they'd have to take the test right in front of me.

801
00:49:31,420 --> 00:49:32,420
Wow.

802
00:49:32,420 --> 00:49:35,420
If not, I could shut their pool down.

803
00:49:35,420 --> 00:49:36,420
Wow.

804
00:49:36,420 --> 00:49:39,420
And they could not open it back up

805
00:49:39,420 --> 00:49:41,420
until it passed my inspection.

806
00:49:41,420 --> 00:49:43,420
Okay.

807
00:49:43,420 --> 00:49:49,420
I had that five-year certification.

808
00:49:49,420 --> 00:49:51,420
I held it twice.

809
00:49:51,420 --> 00:49:58,420
So I was certified for 10 years of full-foss.

810
00:49:58,420 --> 00:49:59,420
Okay.

811
00:49:59,420 --> 00:50:00,420
All right.

812
00:50:00,420 --> 00:50:02,420
And here I am cutting steel,

813
00:50:02,420 --> 00:50:06,420
which tomorrow, Valentine's Day,

814
00:50:06,420 --> 00:50:14,420
will be my seven-year anniversary at work.

815
00:50:14,420 --> 00:50:15,420
Very cool.

816
00:50:15,420 --> 00:50:20,420
Congratulations, Rob.

817
00:50:20,420 --> 00:50:21,420
What's up?

818
00:50:21,420 --> 00:50:25,420
Excellent.

819
00:50:25,420 --> 00:50:29,420
Anyhow, you said you had some NFL stuff you wanted to get into.

820
00:50:29,420 --> 00:50:30,420
Yeah, yeah.

821
00:50:30,420 --> 00:50:33,420
I got a strange one from the NFL.

822
00:50:33,420 --> 00:50:34,420
All right.

823
00:50:34,420 --> 00:50:39,420
Let's hear it.

824
00:50:39,420 --> 00:50:40,420
Not that.

825
00:50:40,420 --> 00:50:43,420
This is on irisstar.com.

826
00:50:43,420 --> 00:50:44,420
Okay.

827
00:50:44,420 --> 00:50:45,420
Irish Stink Star?

828
00:50:45,420 --> 00:50:47,420
Was that the name of it?

829
00:50:47,420 --> 00:50:49,420
No, Irish Star.

830
00:50:49,420 --> 00:50:51,420
Okay, irisstinkstar.com.

831
00:50:51,420 --> 00:50:53,420
There you guys go.

832
00:50:53,420 --> 00:50:54,420
Go ahead.

833
00:50:54,420 --> 00:50:55,420
Talk to you tomorrow.

834
00:50:55,420 --> 00:50:58,420
I'm part Irish.

835
00:50:58,420 --> 00:51:01,420
I'm just going to go ahead and say I am too,

836
00:51:01,420 --> 00:51:04,420
with no evidence at all.

837
00:51:04,420 --> 00:51:05,420
No.

838
00:51:05,420 --> 00:51:09,420
Yeah, but dude, this is an out there.

839
00:51:09,420 --> 00:51:10,420
Okay.

840
00:51:10,420 --> 00:51:15,420
I figured it would be pretty fitting for this show.

841
00:51:15,420 --> 00:51:17,420
Okay.

842
00:51:17,420 --> 00:51:21,420
People are curious about what happens when NFL players need to

843
00:51:21,420 --> 00:51:25,420
loot another's bathroom.

844
00:51:25,420 --> 00:51:31,420
But not many players talk about it or say if or how they use the

845
00:51:31,420 --> 00:51:33,420
toilet during matches.

846
00:51:33,420 --> 00:51:35,420
No, I got a question, Rob.

847
00:51:35,420 --> 00:51:38,420
Is this talking 1 and 2?

848
00:51:38,420 --> 00:51:39,420
Huh?

849
00:51:39,420 --> 00:51:41,420
Is this talking 1 and 2?

850
00:51:41,420 --> 00:51:45,420
Taking a dump and a piss?

851
00:51:45,420 --> 00:51:52,420
Well, the only words I see leading that is pee.

852
00:51:52,420 --> 00:51:53,420
Okay.

853
00:51:53,420 --> 00:51:58,420
I do see the word pee.

854
00:51:58,420 --> 00:52:03,420
But there is a reason.

855
00:52:03,420 --> 00:52:06,420
Well, the reason I ask that is because I've read several players

856
00:52:06,420 --> 00:52:10,420
say that they've been hit so hard before it made them shit themselves.

857
00:52:10,420 --> 00:52:14,420
That's why I ask that.

858
00:52:14,420 --> 00:52:15,420
Okay.

859
00:52:15,420 --> 00:52:16,420
All right.

860
00:52:16,420 --> 00:52:20,420
Well, see, that would be a totally different story than what this one is.

861
00:52:20,420 --> 00:52:21,420
Okay.

862
00:52:21,420 --> 00:52:22,420
Go ahead, Rob.

863
00:52:22,420 --> 00:52:23,420
I didn't mean to interrupt you.

864
00:52:23,420 --> 00:52:24,420
I was just trying to get the gist of it.

865
00:52:24,420 --> 00:52:25,420
No, no, no, no.

866
00:52:25,420 --> 00:52:27,420
Just say no.

867
00:52:27,420 --> 00:52:31,420
This leads into the fluids they drink.

868
00:52:31,420 --> 00:52:32,420
Oh, yeah.

869
00:52:32,420 --> 00:52:34,420
They have to drink a lot of fluids.

870
00:52:34,420 --> 00:52:35,420
Yes.

871
00:52:35,420 --> 00:52:36,420
A lot of pee.

872
00:52:36,420 --> 00:52:37,420
Uh-huh.

873
00:52:37,420 --> 00:52:39,420
Okay.

874
00:52:39,420 --> 00:52:46,420
Like all athletes, NFL players drink lots of fluids to stay hydrated while playing

875
00:52:46,420 --> 00:52:52,420
so it's likely that some might need the bathroom during a long game.

876
00:52:52,420 --> 00:52:54,420
Uh-huh.

877
00:52:54,420 --> 00:53:00,420
So can the NFL players use the bathroom?

878
00:53:00,420 --> 00:53:07,420
The NFL has not banned toilet breaks.

879
00:53:07,420 --> 00:53:15,420
But you don't often see players leaving the pitch to relieve themselves.

880
00:53:15,420 --> 00:53:23,420
Halftime trip to the changing room is probably their best chance.

881
00:53:23,420 --> 00:53:32,420
NFL players have been known to pee in their pants in a cup, behind a bench,

882
00:53:32,420 --> 00:53:39,420
or on sidelines hidden by towels.

883
00:53:39,420 --> 00:53:48,420
Ex-Miami Dolphins star Channing Chapprouter used to pee in his pants

884
00:53:48,420 --> 00:53:52,420
because no one noticed from a distance.

885
00:53:52,420 --> 00:53:54,420
Well, sometimes I sweat so much.

886
00:53:54,420 --> 00:53:55,420
How are you going to know?

887
00:53:55,420 --> 00:54:03,420
It goes in to different stars, Carolina Panthers, Ryan Kahlil.

888
00:54:03,420 --> 00:54:06,420
Uh-huh.

889
00:54:06,420 --> 00:54:12,420
He's peeing all over the sideline, all the ground, he pats wherever.

890
00:54:12,420 --> 00:54:16,420
Well, it does make sense, Rob, and I always wondered that.

891
00:54:16,420 --> 00:54:20,420
I was like, you know, they have to have some sort of a system.

892
00:54:20,420 --> 00:54:21,420
What?

893
00:54:21,420 --> 00:54:26,420
I always wondered because when they're sweating really bad, their pants are wet anyhow.

894
00:54:26,420 --> 00:54:30,420
All the Gatorade they drink, they're taking influence.

895
00:54:30,420 --> 00:54:31,420
They got to lose it.

896
00:54:31,420 --> 00:54:33,420
Yeah, so I get it.

897
00:54:33,420 --> 00:54:35,420
No, they do whatever they can.

898
00:54:35,420 --> 00:54:36,420
And also they're focused.

899
00:54:36,420 --> 00:54:38,420
They try to keep it invisible.

900
00:54:38,420 --> 00:54:47,420
Some of these stories go into saying how they have other guys hold up towels.

901
00:54:47,420 --> 00:54:52,420
Well, right there, you know.

902
00:54:52,420 --> 00:54:53,420
Yeah.

903
00:54:53,420 --> 00:55:04,420
I just read, dude, I've always wondered that because you don't see guys running off the site, you know, and by all the time.

904
00:55:04,420 --> 00:55:05,420
They believe.

905
00:55:05,420 --> 00:55:06,420
No, I know.

906
00:55:06,420 --> 00:55:09,420
Well, thank you, Rob.

907
00:55:09,420 --> 00:55:15,420
I'm starting to wonder if they don't have port-a-bodies in the medical kits.

908
00:55:15,420 --> 00:55:18,420
Oh, I'm sure that I'm sure they probably do.

909
00:55:18,420 --> 00:55:19,420
I bet they do.

910
00:55:19,420 --> 00:55:20,420
I bet.

911
00:55:20,420 --> 00:55:21,420
I bet.

912
00:55:21,420 --> 00:55:23,420
I bet anything they do.

913
00:55:23,420 --> 00:55:26,420
If not, it'd be a good idea for them.

914
00:55:26,420 --> 00:55:27,420
Yes.

915
00:55:27,420 --> 00:55:28,420
Yep.

916
00:55:28,420 --> 00:55:29,420
OK.

917
00:55:29,420 --> 00:55:30,420
OK.

918
00:55:30,420 --> 00:55:32,420
Let's take our second break because we're running so late.

919
00:55:32,420 --> 00:55:36,420
Then I'm going to go into the story about everything going.

920
00:55:36,420 --> 00:55:41,420
Ninety nine percent of my flight, my trek back to Kansas City went great.

921
00:55:41,420 --> 00:55:47,420
Except for this little bitty percent that I'm getting ready to speak about.

922
00:55:47,420 --> 00:55:49,420
I've got to tell the story about this.

923
00:55:49,420 --> 00:55:50,420
OK.

924
00:55:50,420 --> 00:55:54,420
And what can go wrong after everything goes right?

925
00:55:54,420 --> 00:56:03,420
So we'll be back in in a flash and I will tell you all about this story.

926
00:56:03,420 --> 00:56:11,420
Can't wait.

927
00:56:11,420 --> 00:56:12,420
Hello.

928
00:56:12,420 --> 00:56:14,420
This is Satan.

929
00:56:14,420 --> 00:56:19,420
You might know me from my pet name, Inflation.

930
00:56:19,420 --> 00:56:30,420
I'm here to tell you that there's no better way to relax than listening to two douchebags in microphone by a nice warm fire at night.

931
00:56:30,420 --> 00:56:34,420
I sit there and I reflect on all the souls I burned that day.

932
00:56:34,420 --> 00:56:38,420
Enjoy.

933
00:56:38,420 --> 00:56:42,420
Invisible ass paddlings, new douche flavors and horrible pranks.

934
00:56:42,420 --> 00:56:48,420
What the fuck is wrong with these guys?

935
00:56:48,420 --> 00:56:53,420
Introducing Rob Rad's new book, How to Track Your Enemy by Scent.

936
00:56:53,420 --> 00:56:56,420
That's right, smell your enemy before they get you.

937
00:56:56,420 --> 00:57:01,420
Order this gem now and get a free virtual tour of Rob's secret bunker in Camdutton, Missouri.

938
00:57:01,420 --> 00:57:09,420
Also receive a free copy of his new book, How to Clean Raw Sewage for Food.

939
00:57:09,420 --> 00:57:16,420
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.

940
00:57:16,420 --> 00:57:17,420
Hmph.

941
00:57:17,420 --> 00:57:21,420
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

942
00:57:21,420 --> 00:57:28,420
Huh. I may never know.

943
00:57:28,420 --> 00:57:31,420
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

944
00:57:31,420 --> 00:57:34,420
It's strange insults from an alien.

945
00:57:34,420 --> 00:57:36,420
Real hilarity.

946
00:57:36,420 --> 00:57:40,420
I will waste you.

947
00:57:40,420 --> 00:57:46,420
But my mom told me to not burn trash.

948
00:57:46,420 --> 00:57:49,420
The beginning is...

949
00:57:49,420 --> 00:57:54,420
Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.

950
00:57:54,420 --> 00:57:59,420
Baseball's third season of the year begins tonight.

951
00:57:59,420 --> 00:58:02,420
Yay.

952
00:58:02,420 --> 00:58:13,420
Music

953
00:58:13,420 --> 00:58:17,420
Two douche bags and a microphone on Mark.

954
00:58:17,420 --> 00:58:19,420
And I am Rob.

955
00:58:19,420 --> 00:58:28,420
Alright. Well, like I said before, you know, I told you about, you know, the severe weather, the tornado watch, all that stuff going on down there.

956
00:58:28,420 --> 00:58:34,420
And now I rebooked the flight, you know, just so I could get in home for most of the Super Bowl.

957
00:58:34,420 --> 00:58:41,420
If everything went right, I would have been home about, eh, seven or eight minutes into the first quarter, okay?

958
00:58:41,420 --> 00:58:46,420
And it's the Super Bowl, nothing happens in that time ever, right?

959
00:58:46,420 --> 00:58:49,420
Yeah, but you had to land a KCI, didn't you?

960
00:58:49,420 --> 00:58:52,420
Yes, which is way...

961
00:58:52,420 --> 00:58:55,420
It's basically an island.

962
00:58:55,420 --> 00:58:58,420
Is that where the malfunction happened? Just ask it.

963
00:58:58,420 --> 00:59:01,420
Part of it. Part of it.

964
00:59:01,420 --> 00:59:05,420
Well, you know, you know, you know a lot of it because you live around this area for so long.

965
00:59:05,420 --> 00:59:07,420
KCI is...

966
00:59:07,420 --> 00:59:11,420
Yeah, well, that's why I'm asking. You have not told me none of this off there.

967
00:59:11,420 --> 00:59:16,420
I'm just asking. It had to be... it had to have happened, a KCI.

968
00:59:16,420 --> 00:59:19,420
First off, the new airport is huge.

969
00:59:19,420 --> 00:59:22,420
And it takes forever to navigate around that thing.

970
00:59:22,420 --> 00:59:30,420
I mean, it is literally like just forever to get from where you're leaving the plane to the baggage compartment,

971
00:59:30,420 --> 00:59:35,420
which is downstairs, way away from the arrivals.

972
00:59:35,420 --> 00:59:37,420
Oh my God.

973
00:59:37,420 --> 00:59:39,420
Yeah, it's crazy how big the new KCI is.

974
00:59:39,420 --> 00:59:41,420
It's a beautiful airport, but the old one...

975
00:59:41,420 --> 00:59:44,420
How do they handle handicapped people through that?

976
00:59:44,420 --> 00:59:46,420
They have to be in chairs, I guess.

977
00:59:46,420 --> 00:59:51,420
Yeah, no, never mind. That's a different story for a different life.

978
00:59:51,420 --> 00:59:54,420
Okay. All right. We can go into that next one.

979
00:59:54,420 --> 00:59:58,420
So anyhow, you know, it's forever.

980
00:59:58,420 --> 01:00:03,420
And it's a beautiful new airport and I love it, but it's a huge airport now.

981
01:00:03,420 --> 01:00:07,420
It didn't used to be. It used to be you got right out, you turn like two foot to the right,

982
01:00:07,420 --> 01:00:11,420
there's your baggage, you turn two foot to the left, there's your ride.

983
01:00:11,420 --> 01:00:14,420
That simple. Not now.

984
01:00:14,420 --> 01:00:21,420
So, okay, first off, I spent 600 bucks plus switching my plane rides around

985
01:00:21,420 --> 01:00:24,420
so I could get home early in the second quarter.

986
01:00:24,420 --> 01:00:29,420
Well, actually, I said second quarter on here, but because it actually took longer.

987
01:00:29,420 --> 01:00:31,420
But anyhow, I kind of wrote it wrong.

988
01:00:31,420 --> 01:00:36,420
I was going to actually be home about seven minutes at most into the first quarter.

989
01:00:36,420 --> 01:00:42,420
I had to do this on the boat because if I waited, I would not have had an opportunity at those seats.

990
01:00:42,420 --> 01:00:48,420
You know, I prefer to talk to someone, but I had to do it online because I was on internet connection

991
01:00:48,420 --> 01:00:50,420
in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico.

992
01:00:50,420 --> 01:00:53,420
You know, I do use internet phone on the ship,

993
01:00:53,420 --> 01:00:57,420
but I wasn't going to chance a drop-off call in the middle of me trying to, you know,

994
01:00:57,420 --> 01:01:00,420
and then, you know, they didn't hear something and they got booked wrong.

995
01:01:00,420 --> 01:01:04,420
So I had to do it on the internet so I could check it and make sure it was right.

996
01:01:04,420 --> 01:01:07,420
So, okay, so fast forward.

997
01:01:07,420 --> 01:01:13,420
Houston was under a tornado watch, so we're, you know, hoping our flight would depart

998
01:01:13,420 --> 01:01:15,420
before the line of severe storms hit.

999
01:01:15,420 --> 01:01:17,420
Luckily, we did barely.

1000
01:01:17,420 --> 01:01:22,420
It was a bit bumpy until we flew over the first line, but, you know, we got through it fine after that.

1001
01:01:22,420 --> 01:01:27,420
So our plane's connection at Lefuel in Dallas got out early,

1002
01:01:27,420 --> 01:01:29,420
and this was the only flight I could book.

1003
01:01:29,420 --> 01:01:32,420
The nonstop was sold out by the time I went back the next day.

1004
01:01:32,420 --> 01:01:34,420
Like I said, we're getting ready to go to dinner.

1005
01:01:34,420 --> 01:01:36,420
It was a fancy night and all that stuff.

1006
01:01:36,420 --> 01:01:38,420
I didn't have time to book it that night.

1007
01:01:38,420 --> 01:01:41,420
I wish I would have just been a little late for dinner and booked it that night

1008
01:01:41,420 --> 01:01:44,420
because we would have had a nonstop and no problems at all,

1009
01:01:44,420 --> 01:01:48,420
and I'd been home plenty of time for the Super Bowl and like a couple hours before.

1010
01:01:48,420 --> 01:01:53,420
But anyhow, that ship had sailed, so we were hoping that, you know,

1011
01:01:53,420 --> 01:01:56,420
our flight would leave before the severe storms.

1012
01:01:56,420 --> 01:01:57,420
Luckily, it did.

1013
01:01:57,420 --> 01:02:00,420
A little bit bumpy, flew over the first line, got through it fine.

1014
01:02:00,420 --> 01:02:05,420
So our plane's connection at Lefuel in Dallas got out early.

1015
01:02:05,420 --> 01:02:09,420
We only had a 59-minute flight from Dallas to KC.

1016
01:02:09,420 --> 01:02:15,420
The pilot, he must have been a Chiefs fan because we arrived at KCI 15 minutes early, dude.

1017
01:02:15,420 --> 01:02:21,420
I'm ecstatic. I'm like, this is working out so well.

1018
01:02:21,420 --> 01:02:24,420
I might get home two minutes into the game.

1019
01:02:24,420 --> 01:02:27,420
So I'm like just stoked. I'm like kick ass.

1020
01:02:27,420 --> 01:02:34,420
So anyhow, luggage comes out early too, so I'm like, oh my God, everything's shining on me.

1021
01:02:34,420 --> 01:02:36,420
Angels are singing.

1022
01:02:36,420 --> 01:02:39,420
I'm looking at the sky because this is so heavenly.

1023
01:02:39,420 --> 01:02:44,420
So the ride service that I book usually sends me a text to notify me that my driver is there

1024
01:02:44,420 --> 01:02:47,420
and will have my name on a tablet near whatever gate.

1025
01:02:47,420 --> 01:02:49,420
They'll say like gate B4.

1026
01:02:49,420 --> 01:02:55,420
They'll send me a text saying, your driver will be on B foot in front of B4.

1027
01:02:55,420 --> 01:02:58,420
Your name will be on the tablet. Go to him.

1028
01:02:58,420 --> 01:03:01,420
I grabbed our luggage and went over to the corner to look for the text.

1029
01:03:01,420 --> 01:03:04,420
Well, to my surprise, there was no text.

1030
01:03:04,420 --> 01:03:08,420
I called the service and they answered and they told me the driver's running a little late

1031
01:03:08,420 --> 01:03:10,420
and should be there soon.

1032
01:03:10,420 --> 01:03:14,420
I'm waiting five more minutes and realize he's still not called.

1033
01:03:14,420 --> 01:03:20,420
I see another guy from the same ride service and he was awaiting a passenger from Nashville.

1034
01:03:20,420 --> 01:03:25,420
I went up to him just to make sure and on his tablet is like Jones or something. I'm like, oh shit.

1035
01:03:25,420 --> 01:03:29,420
So we both ask him because now Val's involved and not really happy either.

1036
01:03:29,420 --> 01:03:42,420
The man told us that our driver would definitely be out in that area if he was indeed at the airport.

1037
01:03:42,420 --> 01:03:46,420
So I get a call from a Chicago number and I answered.

1038
01:03:46,420 --> 01:03:51,420
And on my phone was a man that said he was my driver and he was only five minutes away.

1039
01:03:51,420 --> 01:03:54,420
So five minutes later, I'm still waiting.

1040
01:03:54,420 --> 01:04:00,420
I call back and he says he isn't very far away that he would park and come get us.

1041
01:04:00,420 --> 01:04:05,420
And I said to the guy, I said, are you aware there's a Super Bowl going on right now?

1042
01:04:05,420 --> 01:04:10,420
He said, yes. I said, we're B54. Meet us out front.

1043
01:04:10,420 --> 01:04:14,420
He said, OK. It took him another five minutes to get there.

1044
01:04:14,420 --> 01:04:17,420
So he's out front now instead of coming to get us.

1045
01:04:17,420 --> 01:04:23,420
We packed all our stuff, went across the road and met him out at the outer the outer area.

1046
01:04:23,420 --> 01:04:30,420
We load up our luggage and this guy didn't know that the station the game was on.

1047
01:04:30,420 --> 01:04:32,420
I told him it was on 810.

1048
01:04:32,420 --> 01:04:36,420
He was listening to 610 Sports Talk and he was actually thinking it was a game.

1049
01:04:36,420 --> 01:04:38,420
I could see him trying to listen.

1050
01:04:38,420 --> 01:04:42,420
He is an older guy and he was trying to listen, trying to make out what was going on in the game.

1051
01:04:42,420 --> 01:04:48,420
I go, that isn't the game. That's 610. They're just having a sports show on.

1052
01:04:48,420 --> 01:04:50,420
I said the game's on 810.

1053
01:04:50,420 --> 01:04:54,420
So anyhow, I'm not sure about the guy at all.

1054
01:04:54,420 --> 01:04:56,420
So anyhow, he turns it to 810.

1055
01:04:56,420 --> 01:05:00,420
You talk at 810. I know Limp Station.

1056
01:05:00,420 --> 01:05:07,420
Yeah, yeah, of course. So I-29 is a 70 mile an hour for six miles, right?

1057
01:05:07,420 --> 01:05:10,420
You know this area? You used to drive it all the time.

1058
01:05:10,420 --> 01:05:14,420
You go up to 55, then 45, and it reduces to 65 after that.

1059
01:05:14,420 --> 01:05:21,420
The downtown interchange goes to 55, then 45, but quickly goes back up to 65 again on the south side.

1060
01:05:21,420 --> 01:05:25,420
This guy is going 50 in a 70 mile an hour zone.

1061
01:05:25,420 --> 01:05:32,420
You don't have- so, you know, I'm saying subtle stuff to him like you don't have to turn off for 25 miles.

1062
01:05:32,420 --> 01:05:37,420
And you know, and I even said something like I'm so glad they raised this freeway to 70 mile an hour.

1063
01:05:37,420 --> 01:05:40,420
He goes up to 55 barely.

1064
01:05:40,420 --> 01:05:51,420
I start watching the game on my phone, but then I realized the game was 40 seconds behind on my phone than it was on the radio.

1065
01:05:51,420 --> 01:05:55,420
So I couldn't really- you know, everything was all fucked up, so I couldn't even watch it.

1066
01:05:55,420 --> 01:06:00,420
So you know, we're completely at this idiot's mercy by this time.

1067
01:06:00,420 --> 01:06:06,420
The driver, he goes on to tell me that he overslept and he had an incident with some woman earlier.

1068
01:06:06,420 --> 01:06:08,420
And it was a long day.

1069
01:06:08,420 --> 01:06:10,420
Now I was sitting there thinking, fuck you.

1070
01:06:10,420 --> 01:06:14,420
Too bad you didn't quit, so I could have someone competent driving.

1071
01:06:14,420 --> 01:06:19,420
And so we finally make it to our house after a grueling slow putt-putt driving

1072
01:06:19,420 --> 01:06:25,420
and the constant me reminding of the exes that he needed to turn off and what have you.

1073
01:06:25,420 --> 01:06:27,420
You know, I always tip really well.

1074
01:06:27,420 --> 01:06:29,420
This time I didn't leave him a fucking dime.

1075
01:06:29,420 --> 01:06:32,420
I grabbed my bags and said, see ya, I'm done with this.

1076
01:06:32,420 --> 01:06:39,420
I guarantee you, someone will be getting their ass a little bit lighter later on today.

1077
01:06:39,420 --> 01:06:43,420
And someone did get their ass chewed off.

1078
01:06:43,420 --> 01:06:50,420
Someone's ass is quite a bit lighter because I let that ride service know about how incompetent that idiot was

1079
01:06:50,420 --> 01:06:57,420
and how furious I am that I missed a big portion of the game because this idiot overslept.

1080
01:06:57,420 --> 01:07:00,420
He overslept my fucking ride.

1081
01:07:00,420 --> 01:07:02,420
Everything was going really well.

1082
01:07:02,420 --> 01:07:04,420
I was going to be home early and I let him know.

1083
01:07:04,420 --> 01:07:12,420
I paid $600 plus to get back to Kansas City on time and that fool in that car ruined it for me.

1084
01:07:12,420 --> 01:07:15,420
I want to punch his stupid ass right now.

1085
01:07:15,420 --> 01:07:17,420
I'm so mad over that.

1086
01:07:17,420 --> 01:07:19,420
That guy is a complete buffoon.

1087
01:07:19,420 --> 01:07:23,420
He should not be driving a car for anybody.

1088
01:07:23,420 --> 01:07:31,420
Anyhow, like I said, I tip and I tip well for good service and even bad service I'll tip a little bit.

1089
01:07:31,420 --> 01:07:36,420
This guy, I almost just gave him a finger to his face and said, here, here's your fucking tip.

1090
01:07:36,420 --> 01:07:38,420
Fucking grow a brain.

1091
01:07:38,420 --> 01:07:43,420
Well, there's a lot of people that do that these days.

1092
01:07:43,420 --> 01:07:44,420
Oh my God.

1093
01:07:44,420 --> 01:07:48,420
There's a lot of people that do side jobs like that.

1094
01:07:48,420 --> 01:07:53,420
Yeah, toward us, Uber, Lyft, you know.

1095
01:07:53,420 --> 01:07:57,420
He does not need to be driving a fucking car for anybody.

1096
01:07:57,420 --> 01:08:00,420
That guy is as incompetent as I've ever seen.

1097
01:08:00,420 --> 01:08:07,420
I could not believe it's 70 mile an hour and he's going 50 mile an hour on I-29.

1098
01:08:07,420 --> 01:08:10,420
People are fucking honking and zipping around him.

1099
01:08:10,420 --> 01:08:12,420
I don't know if he was half asleep still.

1100
01:08:12,420 --> 01:08:13,420
Dude, that's what you killed.

1101
01:08:13,420 --> 01:08:14,420
Yes.

1102
01:08:14,420 --> 01:08:20,420
I've been away from the city for 21 years.

1103
01:08:20,420 --> 01:08:21,420
Uh-huh.

1104
01:08:21,420 --> 01:08:23,420
I can tell you that.

1105
01:08:23,420 --> 01:08:24,420
Yeah.

1106
01:08:24,420 --> 01:08:26,420
That would get you killed.

1107
01:08:26,420 --> 01:08:27,420
Yeah.

1108
01:08:27,420 --> 01:08:29,420
A victim ran over.

1109
01:08:29,420 --> 01:08:31,420
Some semi will come up.

1110
01:08:31,420 --> 01:08:32,420
I didn't see it.

1111
01:08:32,420 --> 01:08:36,420
I'm about ready to box that idiot in the ears and fucking grab the steering wheel myself.

1112
01:08:36,420 --> 01:08:39,420
I was so mad.

1113
01:08:39,420 --> 01:08:42,420
So anyhow, I got home.

1114
01:08:42,420 --> 01:08:45,420
I missed a lot more of the game because that guy's stupidity.

1115
01:08:45,420 --> 01:08:49,420
If the luck of the draw would have gave me somebody competent, I would have been home

1116
01:08:49,420 --> 01:08:53,420
in so early and got to watch most of the game.

1117
01:08:53,420 --> 01:08:58,420
I rewound it and watched it, but it just so happens, luckily, for him, the reason I didn't

1118
01:08:58,420 --> 01:09:03,420
rip his head off was because the game was fucking so boring because it was such great

1119
01:09:03,420 --> 01:09:07,420
defense for three quarters that it didn't really matter that much anyhow.

1120
01:09:07,420 --> 01:09:09,420
I didn't really miss that much.

1121
01:09:09,420 --> 01:09:13,420
I missed a couple of fumbles in the red zone.

1122
01:09:13,420 --> 01:09:19,420
Hey, I have to call your bluff on this one.

1123
01:09:19,420 --> 01:09:20,420
Okay, go ahead.

1124
01:09:20,420 --> 01:09:22,420
I know why you did not.

1125
01:09:22,420 --> 01:09:23,420
Why?

1126
01:09:23,420 --> 01:09:27,420
You had Val sitting right next to you.

1127
01:09:27,420 --> 01:09:28,420
You're right.

1128
01:09:28,420 --> 01:09:29,420
You're right.

1129
01:09:29,420 --> 01:09:31,420
As a matter of fact, I was going to get really rude with him.

1130
01:09:31,420 --> 01:09:32,420
If Val wasn't sitting next to me-

1131
01:09:32,420 --> 01:09:33,420
Don't lie to me.

1132
01:09:33,420 --> 01:09:34,420
Don't lie to me.

1133
01:09:34,420 --> 01:09:39,420
If Val wasn't sitting next to me, I probably would have said, what the fuck is your deal?

1134
01:09:39,420 --> 01:09:43,420
Yeah, you probably would smooth the fuck off.

1135
01:09:43,420 --> 01:09:45,420
Yeah, yeah, you're right.

1136
01:09:45,420 --> 01:09:49,420
Val is my grounding point, and I wouldn't do that.

1137
01:09:49,420 --> 01:09:53,420
Yeah, I'm going to call your bluff on that one, brother.

1138
01:09:53,420 --> 01:09:54,420
Rob, you're correct.

1139
01:09:54,420 --> 01:09:55,420
You love that woman.

1140
01:09:55,420 --> 01:09:56,420
I know you do.

1141
01:09:56,420 --> 01:09:57,420
Yep.

1142
01:09:57,420 --> 01:09:58,420
Oh, yeah.

1143
01:09:58,420 --> 01:09:59,420
Yep.

1144
01:09:59,420 --> 01:10:00,420
Yep.

1145
01:10:00,420 --> 01:10:01,420
So you know what?

1146
01:10:01,420 --> 01:10:02,420
She keeps you grounded.

1147
01:10:02,420 --> 01:10:03,420
Yeah, she keeps me from doing stupid stuff like that.

1148
01:10:03,420 --> 01:10:04,420
We all need that.

1149
01:10:04,420 --> 01:10:05,420
We do.

1150
01:10:05,420 --> 01:10:06,420
You're right.

1151
01:10:06,420 --> 01:10:09,420
So anyhow, I had to put up with this city.

1152
01:10:09,420 --> 01:10:11,420
It's bullshit, but we made it home.

1153
01:10:11,420 --> 01:10:12,420
So you know what?

1154
01:10:12,420 --> 01:10:18,420
I just thank my lucky stars that this, the plane was switched to hobby, and we weren't

1155
01:10:18,420 --> 01:10:19,420
delayed maybe all night.

1156
01:10:19,420 --> 01:10:22,420
I may have had to watch the game at the damn airport.

1157
01:10:22,420 --> 01:10:26,420
It wasn't for me switching flights on the ship.

1158
01:10:26,420 --> 01:10:31,420
So there's a lot of stuff that did happen that did lead me to come to the game and watch

1159
01:10:31,420 --> 01:10:33,420
over half of it.

1160
01:10:33,420 --> 01:10:35,420
So I thank God for that.

1161
01:10:35,420 --> 01:10:36,420
And you know what?

1162
01:10:36,420 --> 01:10:37,420
That's good.

1163
01:10:37,420 --> 01:10:39,420
Yeah, it could have been much worse.

1164
01:10:39,420 --> 01:10:41,420
So I'm happy for what I had.

1165
01:10:41,420 --> 01:10:46,420
It's just it could have been so much better, but someone dropped the ball, and it really

1166
01:10:46,420 --> 01:10:47,420
irritated me.

1167
01:10:47,420 --> 01:10:52,420
So anyhow, we are well over an hour, so I think we're going to go ahead and cut this

1168
01:10:52,420 --> 01:10:53,420
one down.

1169
01:10:53,420 --> 01:10:54,420
That sound okay, Rob?

1170
01:10:54,420 --> 01:10:55,420
All right.

1171
01:10:55,420 --> 01:10:56,420
All right.

1172
01:10:56,420 --> 01:10:59,420
And then I have a couple of wake-er stories.

1173
01:10:59,420 --> 01:11:00,420
Oh, you know what?

1174
01:11:00,420 --> 01:11:01,420
Tomorrow night.

1175
01:11:01,420 --> 01:11:02,420
Do you want to go ahead and do them real quick?

1176
01:11:02,420 --> 01:11:03,420
We can do them tomorrow night.

1177
01:11:03,420 --> 01:11:04,420
Okay.

1178
01:11:04,420 --> 01:11:08,420
And then tomorrow night, I'm going to have a boat run down and some incidents that happened

1179
01:11:08,420 --> 01:11:09,420
on the boat.

1180
01:11:09,420 --> 01:11:14,420
I'm going to tell you about, I've got a, I've got a rundown.

1181
01:11:14,420 --> 01:11:19,420
There's, there's at least one of these I really want to get out there.

1182
01:11:19,420 --> 01:11:23,420
Because it's a follow-up on a story that I-

1183
01:11:23,420 --> 01:11:24,420
Rob, do you want to go ahead and do that one?

1184
01:11:24,420 --> 01:11:25,420
Where are we, Rob?

1185
01:11:25,420 --> 01:11:26,420
Do you want to go ahead and do that one right now?

1186
01:11:26,420 --> 01:11:27,420
No, we'll do it tomorrow night.

1187
01:11:27,420 --> 01:11:28,420
We'll do it tomorrow night.

1188
01:11:28,420 --> 01:11:31,420
Everybody listen to me.

1189
01:11:31,420 --> 01:11:32,420
Okay.

1190
01:11:32,420 --> 01:11:36,980
I'm going to try to post this one tonight so you guys can have a new one because I noticed

1191
01:11:36,980 --> 01:11:38,620
people are getting a little antsy.

1192
01:11:38,620 --> 01:11:39,620
I got a couple of emails.

1193
01:11:39,620 --> 01:11:40,620
It's been a while.

1194
01:11:40,620 --> 01:11:41,620
It's been a while.

1195
01:11:41,620 --> 01:11:42,620
I've been missing them in the mornings, man.

1196
01:11:42,620 --> 01:11:43,620
I'm not going back unless I know what's-

1197
01:11:43,620 --> 01:11:44,620
Des Moines going nuts, dude.

1198
01:11:44,620 --> 01:11:45,620
I got three emails from them.

1199
01:11:45,620 --> 01:11:46,620
I'll read them later.

1200
01:11:46,620 --> 01:11:47,620
If whatever I can get to them.

1201
01:11:47,620 --> 01:11:48,620
Hey, they really love our podcast up there and we thank you so much.

1202
01:11:48,620 --> 01:11:49,620
We can't thank you enough.

1203
01:11:49,620 --> 01:11:50,620
So-

1204
01:11:50,620 --> 01:11:51,620
No, we're not going to do that.

1205
01:11:51,620 --> 01:11:52,620
We're going to do it tomorrow night.

1206
01:11:52,620 --> 01:11:53,620
We're going to do it tomorrow night.

1207
01:11:53,620 --> 01:11:54,620
We're going to do it tomorrow night.

1208
01:11:54,620 --> 01:11:55,620
We're going to do it tomorrow night.

1209
01:11:55,620 --> 01:11:58,620
We can't thank you enough, so-

1210
01:11:58,620 --> 01:11:59,620
No, we can't not.

1211
01:11:59,620 --> 01:12:00,620
Yeah.

1212
01:12:00,620 --> 01:12:01,620
They were very nice.

1213
01:12:01,620 --> 01:12:02,620
I really like it.

1214
01:12:02,620 --> 01:12:03,620
They were very nice.

1215
01:12:03,620 --> 01:12:05,060
I feel like I could meet some of them.

1216
01:12:05,060 --> 01:12:06,060
You know what?

1217
01:12:06,060 --> 01:12:10,620
I mean, if our listenership keeps increasing, why not do a road trip up there?

1218
01:12:10,620 --> 01:12:11,620
Why not?

1219
01:12:11,620 --> 01:12:12,620
We may have to.

1220
01:12:12,620 --> 01:12:13,620
Yeah.

1221
01:12:13,620 --> 01:12:14,620
Oh, yeah.

1222
01:12:14,620 --> 01:12:15,620
Yeah, they're amazing.

1223
01:12:15,620 --> 01:12:16,620
You would be great.

1224
01:12:16,620 --> 01:12:23,620
Like, go to one of those fucking budget-in places and have the meet-and-greet out there.

1225
01:12:23,620 --> 01:12:24,620
Yeah.

1226
01:12:24,620 --> 01:12:26,620
Have the meet-and-greet out in the parking lot.

1227
01:12:26,620 --> 01:12:27,620
Well, that's great.

1228
01:12:27,620 --> 01:12:28,620
Yeah.

1229
01:12:28,620 --> 01:12:29,620
Or Bluetooth.

1230
01:12:29,620 --> 01:12:36,860
And the only consolation is all of our proclaimed assholes, because everybody has their own

1231
01:12:36,860 --> 01:12:37,860
opiate ant.

1232
01:12:37,860 --> 01:12:38,860
They had the pest.

1233
01:12:38,860 --> 01:12:39,860
Howard Stern had the whack pack.

1234
01:12:39,860 --> 01:12:42,260
Man Cal had the militia of love.

1235
01:12:42,260 --> 01:12:45,220
They all had their own name for their listeners.

1236
01:12:45,220 --> 01:12:46,600
Ours are assholes.

1237
01:12:46,600 --> 01:12:51,820
So our only stipulation is assholes have to be wearing bib overalls with no shirt.

1238
01:12:51,820 --> 01:12:54,820
Even the women?

1239
01:12:54,820 --> 01:12:57,820
Yes, of course, especially the women.

1240
01:12:57,820 --> 01:12:58,820
Especially the women.

1241
01:12:58,820 --> 01:13:00,820
Des Moines, stay tuned.

1242
01:13:00,820 --> 01:13:02,820
Everybody, thank you.

1243
01:13:02,820 --> 01:13:04,820
Have a great night.

1244
01:13:04,820 --> 01:13:06,820
We love you guys.

1245
01:13:06,820 --> 01:13:08,820
Love you all.

1246
01:13:08,820 --> 01:13:09,820
Good night.

1247
01:13:09,820 --> 01:13:22,820
Hey, where did everybody go?

1248
01:13:22,820 --> 01:13:25,820
Where are the douchebags?

1249
01:13:25,820 --> 01:13:29,820
Oh my god, someone took a dump in the corner.

1250
01:13:29,820 --> 01:13:30,820
Oh jeez.

1251
01:13:30,820 --> 01:13:31,820
Glad they're gone.

1252
01:13:31,820 --> 01:13:34,820
Let's just hope they don't come back.

1253
01:13:34,820 --> 01:13:46,820
Man, that smells.