Live from the historic river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the crystal blue
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Two Shirley Temples and a bottle of scotch will be right back.
Wild asparagus is plentiful and easy to find. It can be stewed with garlic and onion, which
is both wild, which can be easily found, and a very tasty post-apocalypse food. You can
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ass hole with soapy water, because nobody likes a stinky asshole.
Alright, we are two douchebags and microphone freshly back from my vacation, and freshly
not back from Rob's vacation, because Rob didn't get a vacation at all. Rob got an
extra day work handed to him while I was gone, didn't you?
Yes, I did. We went back to five days a week, but I did get a vacation from the show, which
kind of rest my brain, let me relax a little bit, so here we go.
We both needed it. I thought I was going to get all this writing done.
Yeah, we've been at it for a little while. We both needed a little break.
I got no writing done, not any at all, and I write so good, about 3 a.m. on the Lido
deck of any ship, I write so good. I have some of the best ideas that come to me. I
came up with some good ship for this podcast on many cruises before, or what I consider
to be good. I guess it's an eye of the beholder, but some of the best stuff and the most creative
things I ever came up with seemed to me coming from things like cruises, because I'm so relaxed
and my mind just naturally works without having to try to force it. This time it was the opposite.
I got up on the Lido deck and I said, I want to do a fucking thing, except listen to the
ocean and drink a beer, and that's what I did. It was very well worth it. It was a lot
of fun. It was obviously what we both needed. I mean, you didn't exactly get a vacation,
but you got a vacation from this show, and it sounded like you needed it too, didn't you?
Yeah, I definitely needed it. I needed a few days off to do what I needed to do around
the house, being an adult. You know what I mean?
You have the adulting stuff. I know exactly what you mean.
And refresh my brain. I have to reset.
Oh yeah. And I was so worn slick too. It wasn't the podcast necessarily, but I've been working
very hard on it. I work really hard on this podcast.
Oh, I know you do.
I love it and I believe in it. It's something that I've been very passionate about all my
life and you are too, Rob. You're the same way. You and I have talked. We feel the same
way about it. It's a labor of love. Anyhow, I didn't realize that I really needed to get
away from it until I was actually away from it. It really felt good to just be like, you
know what? I got all these story ideas here and these notebooks and pads of paper and
stuff. I'm like, no, it's not going to do it, man. They'll be there when I get back.
That's why this is a resetting. This is going to be our official...
Oh my God. I felt so bad. The whole time you were gone.
Why?
Because I was like, man, I'll take it a whole day. I know he's sitting there banging away,
but I also got thinking, you know what? He's out on the ocean.
I sent plenty of videos. Yeah, you sent.
He probably don't have very good Wi-Fi, but I know his brain's going to town.
Actually, the Wi-Fi was excellent on the ship. It's a brand new ship, the Jubilee.
Yeah, yeah, I know. You told me about it.
If I could have found a way to record, it would have been an excellent podcast because
the Wi-Fi was that strong, but I could not bring all the equipment with me.
It was just impossible to... I got this huge microphone.
This big laptop is the only thing that can really handle that type of software that records
a podcast that we do like this. To where we can splice, put in bits and do all that stuff.
So there's no possible way to carry all that stuff. I mean, hell, I was just at 50...
We're both right at 50 pounds on each one of our luggages.
Anyhow, that's the best we could do.
When we came back, we took Southwest because they had to switch flights.
I went down there on American, which you have to pay for baggage.
So I just only wanted to go take two bags. I didn't want to take an extra bag.
After two bags, it's like 70 bucks or some shit.
I'm like, you know what?
Also, I don't like to carry out much luggage anyhow.
So we had our two bags and one carry-on and that was it.
So on the way back, it wasn't an issue because I actually canceled our original flight
because our original flight was going to get back about half time.
Anyhow, I was reading all the articles, looking at all this stuff about the game and all this stuff.
I'm like, you know what? There's no way I'm going to watch this on a plane on a little bitty phone.
And this is the Super Bowl. So I actually canceled that flight.
Oh my goodness, jeez!
Yeah, I canceled that flight and I got an earlier flight.
It was the only flight I could get because everyone else had that same idea on the boat, I guess.
Because I go there and I look at the available flights, right?
And this is like Thursday before the Super Bowl.
And there's like five or six that are earlier that are available.
So anyhow, I was like, oh shit, it's dinner time.
It's elegant night.
So I had to put on the suit and all that stupid shit and all that stuff
because you've got to have the pictures and all that stuff.
So I'm like, all right. So I come back.
The very next morning, I'm like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a flight.
I put it on my phone next day when I woke up. Ding, ding, ding.
I'm like, what the hell is it? Oh, yeah.
So I get there and there's one flight left.
And I'm like, shit.
One flight that was earlier than ours that I got back about 10 minutes before the Super Bowl.
But I'll get into all that story later, OK?
But I actually changed flights on the way back.
I could have had some extra luggage because Southwest had the best deal coming back.
And that's how come I came in and George Bush Intercontinental.
And I'm glad that I left hobby because I told you about the tornado watch going on and the severe storms.
Yeah, yeah, you told me about it out there.
Yeah. So anyhow, I'll tell this real quick and then we'll get into the Chiefs win in the Super Bowl.
OK, so George Bush Intercontinental is actually in Katy, Texas, which is a northern suburb of Houston.
These storms that were coming in, the severe line of storms that were coming in
and why the tornado watch was issued was coming from the north, going to the south.
Our friends from Canada that went with us on this cruise, it was the storm was hitting there.
Both flights were supposed to take off about 130.
It was hitting there. So their flights were all canceled.
You could not fly in that. They're just too, too severe storms.
So we're at hobby. So we get in the air.
And when we're in the you know, when we first got over that first line of storms,
that initial punch is a little bumpy. And, you know, it was a little concerning.
You know, we got we got knocked around pretty good there.
And it was an eye opener. That was for sure. And I was working on a couple hours sleep anyhow.
So I'm like, oh, shit, I hope this isn't the whole flight.
And so it wasn't. Luckily, that was it. After that, after the first 10 minutes, it settled down considerably.
So we were lucky that I switched to hobby because we've been at George Bush Intercontinental.
I don't know if we would even got home that night. It took our friends from Canada.
Their flight was delayed six hours because of the weather, six hours.
And they were flying into Calgary and then flying into where they live and which was right.
Yeah, they were going a lot further. Yes.
And that's why it had to be intercontinental because it was not the United States they were flying out of.
So in Houston, you have two major airports. You have Hobby International, which is where we're at, is closer to downtown.
And we're staying downtown Houston and on the way back on the way there, we stayed in Galveston to be near the cruise ship.
So anyhow, Hobby is closer to downtown. So it was a much easier ride. It was about a 15 minute ride to Hobby Airport as as to if we were going to get a ride to intercontinental.
George Bush Intercontinental had been over an hour. So it was it was a lot better on a lot of different reasons right there.
And besides us getting in the air and getting out of out of there before the bad weather hit.
So we were very fortunate and blessed on that we were able to get out of there.
Just a couple of bumps and we got to get home on time.
But I will tell the rest of that story a little bit later because like always, it's never that simple, is it Rob?
Never.
You know, when 99 percent of everything goes right, that one percent's going to kick you right in the ass, right?
Oh, dude, you're going to be hurting for quite a while.
Well, I'll tell you I'll get to that part of the story a little bit later.
But first, we have some major news.
The Kansas City Chiefs have repeated their Super Bowl championship and the Lombardi Trophy stays here.
We own it. Amen. We own it for the next year. Amen.
All the doubters. We told you everybody. We told you.
All the snot this we're getting on from the West Coast, East Coast, all the fucking all the pylons, all the shit at the end.
It didn't matter, did it?
Because our beloved Kansas City Chiefs once again nut it up and beat your big bad forty niners.
Yeah, I still love you.
Right, Ruthanne, fuck off.
Yeah, I said it. Fuck you. I don't want you listening.
We have not done it in a while. And we've been on vacation.
Hi, Grandma Opal.
Grandma Opal, we love you. Sorry about the bad language.
Yes, we do. Sorry for our vacation.
Yeah, sorry about the vacation. We still love you. And I'm sorry about the bad language.
I know you're a beautiful young lady and you do not need to hear such stuff.
And I apologize profusely and I will try to temper my language for you because you're such a beautiful soul.
So anyhow, hi Ruthanne. We missed you. We missed you more than you missed us.
So and if your son ever sends me his name, we'll start incorporating his name too.
Yeah, yeah.
But he's got her grandson. Is her grandson, right?
I think the original email said it was her grandson.
That's what I thought too.
I think that's what you said.
Okay. Well if your grandson ever sends me his name, we'll include him on it too.
So anyhow, Ruthanne, and thank you. And I know he listens because he downloads it for her.
No, Opal. You're saying Ruthanne.
Oh, God. Okay. Sorry. Yeah, yeah. Ruthanne, Ruthanne, screw off.
You're saying that deep down, aren't you?
Maybe I miss Ruthanne a little bit too. I'm feeling a little bad maybe.
Okay. Okay. So Opal, I know your grandson listens and if he gives me his name, we'll start mentioning him too.
But as of right now, I don't have a name. So anyhow, thank you Opal. We love you.
So okay.
Okay. Moving on.
All right. Now, I have this thing I wrote about football being a game of inches.
The last two Super Bowls have been a game of inches by so many proportions, by epic proportions.
Gosh, if I could speak. Anyhow, here we go.
Okay. Yes, it has and it's showing, isn't it?
Okay. So this game of football I love so much is so full of strategies and plans.
And in the end, it usually comes down to one or two huge plays.
So all this planning and studying all boil down to a play or two normally.
For instance, last year, Nick Sirianni, head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, called a timeout
with the Chiefs on the Eagles five yard line of the Eagles in a minute 20 left.
This leaves the Eagles with one timeout remaining when he called the timeout.
Okay. Andy Reid realized that Sirianni is telling his team to lay down.
So they would get the ball back with a minute 20 left.
Now, the key thing to remember about this, Rob, is both defenses were gassed, right?
Right.
And we were just running rough shot at the end of that game.
It's 38 to 35 was the final score.
And we're just running rough shot because the defenses were gassed so bad.
So Nick Sirianni was like over there.
He called a timeout so he could tell his team, hey, lay down, let them score.
We have a minute 20 left and with our offensive line, you know, and with Kelsey on there,
you know, Travis' brother, Jason Kelsey, you know, and all the other linemen they had,
they were going to go ahead and do a two point conversion and probably win the game by one point.
Right.
So now anyhow, they're going to do the two point conversion.
So Reed took this opportunity to gather the offense on Sirianni's called timeout and tell them to fall short of the goal line,
run out the clock, kick the field goal and go up by three points,
therefore giving the Eagles three seconds to try whatever.
Sure enough, everybody, McKennan, he fell down on the one yard line and had the ball centered up in the middle of the field.
Buckeye kicks the winner right through the uprights.
Right.
Jalen Hurts, notoriously a much better runner than he was a passer.
Agreed?
Right.
And he's getting, he was getting better as a passer, but he's not in my homes by any stretch.
His arm strength is good, but not great.
He doesn't pinpoint balls, kind of like Lamar Jackson.
He can run your ass off and gas you like that.
But if you corner him, he cannot throw those pinpoint passes that a Mahomes or a Josh Allen can do, you know, or even.
Yeah, because the more he runs around, the more he gets gas.
Yeah, Rodgers, Tagovaiola is pretty good at the pinpoint.
So anyhow, you know, Jalen Hurts, much better runner.
So with three seconds left, his Hail Mary was way off target and the rest is history.
They won the Super Bowl.
So that was a game of inches.
That was close.
That came down to Andy Reid outsmarting Nick Sirianni on the ump degree.
Right.
Just the small things.
OK.
So, well, Nick Sirianni is telling his guys one thing.
Andy Reid understood what he was saying to them.
Andy Reid countered it with something even more intelligent.
And that is to lie down at the one yard line since they only have one timeout left and there's a minute twenty left.
That means the first play, they run down to the two minute mark.
Second play, they have to call the timeout somewhere in there.
Then third down, you could actually run in another 30 seconds down.
And by that time, they already calculated about three seconds left.
And so with that three seconds, of course, maybe Mahomes could get a pass to somebody.
Maybe Josh Allen or Aaron Rodgers could get a pass to somebody.
But not Jaylen Hurts.
So we weren't fearing that.
And they went on to win the Super Bowl because of that.
So anyhow, so this year's game, let's fast forward this year's game.
Five and one remaining in the third quarter.
Harrison Bucker, the Chiefs kicker, hits a 57 yard low line drive right through the uprights.
Super Bowl record, by the way.
Yes, Super Bowl record.
The ball was hit so low that a 49er lineman, I didn't get a chance to write down his name.
I was going to look it up and I forgot.
Was literally three inches away from blocking the kick.
Did you see that? Did you see the replay?
Yeah, yeah, I watched the game, man.
I actually got me a road to and I signed up for Paramount Plus.
Good. I could actually watch it.
I'm glad you got to watch the game. It was so good. It was so good.
So anyhow, this will probably go down.
It was.
This is probably going to go down as the best Super Bowl ever.
I mean, it was just it was that good.
So there's other parts of it that went so great.
Yeah, like the first three quarters.
Yeah, so anyhow, literally it was such good defense.
It was.
I was going to usher.
Oh, yeah. Well, you can do that here in a minute.
Well, no, no, I didn't.
Yeah, I got those stories.
I thought I thought I thought he was horrible.
I've read a lot of stories on the Internet.
They were like, oh, my God, really?
Look, I don't necessarily mind usher at all.
I thought his performance was very ho hum.
I'm willing to call it.
Usher would be probably up there on my list, you know?
Yeah, but he did not bring it to me.
I'm not much in the pop.
Rayana last year brought up one hell of a stage show.
I can't say I necessarily care for her act that much, but she commanded attention.
Usher did not.
And then he caused a big fervor with Alicia Keys, dry humping her and her husband wants to kill usher now from what I read.
Anyhow, we can get into that a little bit later.
OK, let me go ahead.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's wait and see how that unfolds.
Yeah.
So let's go report on it.
Yeah, yeah, I'm sure there's going to be some more reports on it because her husband was fucking with it.
He's probably taking a ass beat over that.
Yes, I think so. And also Alicia Keys was not very happy about that either.
So yeah, so we went to this year's game, five one one remaining in the third quarter.
Harrison Buck, Kurt's chiefs kicker hits a 57 yard low line drive right through the uprights.
The ball was hit so low that the 49er lineman was literally three inches away from blocking the kick.
I mean, his fingers was three inches away from blocking the kick.
So there you go.
Game of inches.
Then subsequently, after a chiefs punt that hit a 49er on his foot lands in the hands of a chiefs player.
This was probably three inches away from hitting the turf instead of his foot.
What do you think?
Yeah.
So there again, you have a game of inches recorded right there again without any argument.
If that ball was three inches over, it would have hit the turf and then the ball was, you know, if we get the ball, we just downed it.
We don't get possession of it.
So it was three inches away from hitting the turf instead of his foot.
Then with 228 left in the third quarter, Mahomes nil, scantling, MBS in the end zone for a 16 yard touchdown.
Game on.
Tied up at 10, 1122 left in the game at this point.
Soon after, San Francisco drives.
It starts to get a little steam.
Purdy hit Jennings in the end zone.
And then the point after was blocked merely by three inches.
And they would have went up by four.
Right?
The game was tieable at three with a field goal.
So by just merely three inches.
That extra point was blocked and made the game at the end of regulation tieable with a but Kerr kick.
If he makes that kick, the chiefs don't win.
They don't have enough time to go into the end zone.
Right?
Right.
So instead of going up by four, it would take a touchdown to win.
Now a field goal try will tie the chiefs march down the field better running out of time and are forced to kick a game tying field goal.
So three inches and but Kerr gets three points, then three inches in San Francisco does not get the extra point.
And then three inches, the ball hits the San Francisco 49ers foot.
And three inches.
Wait a second.
Three inches each time?
Approximately.
I didn't get out there with a measurement.
OK.
What I'm doing is I'm illustrating the fact of what a game of inches it actually is.
I'm purposely accentuating three inches.
You kept saying three inches.
Is these exact measurements?
I would I would bet to say they are three to five inches each one of them.
They could not be more.
They could not look at that.
Go back and look at all of them.
Slow motion.
They have them on YouTube.
I've studied them very carefully.
Three to five inches at the very least.
I would say closer to three inches each one of them.
Wow.
Yeah.
Very, very interesting how it parlayed.
So this is, you know, a game of inches literally.
So San Francisco wins the overtime coin toss and elects to receive and was widely criticized
for choosing that option.
But I agreed with that decision.
And here's why.
And then after I already wrote this out, I heard Kyle Shanahan saying the same thing
I thought.
His defense was gassed.
He needed to give his defense a break because if they let Kansas City go first, they would
have run right down the field and scored a touchdown, which they did on the last drive
anyhow.
So, you know, so he was criticized immensely by letting the chiefs, by them going first.
And then the chiefs stopped him.
But the chiefs defense was plenty rested because the last drive was the Kansas City chiefs
for about three minutes.
And then they went into overtime and they had all the commercials and all that and all
the other, the coin toss and all that.
So their defense was rested up.
San Francisco's was still gassed.
So, you know, so Shanahan, I thought, made the right choice and he defended it and said
he would do it again if he had to do the game over.
And I agree with him.
Their defense was gassed and so was ours.
The team captain was simply trying to rest his defense while trying to take advantage
of our defense being worn down, you know.
But they did get enough rest.
And that and their own reports, they did not understand the new overtime.
Okay.
I don't believe that.
That, I don't know.
Don't you think there's reports.
Don't you think that Kyle Shanahan would have went over there like Andy Reid did and explained
to them.
Yeah, you're the head coach.
It's your job to know this.
The most important rule that our team knew that evidently some of the San Francisco 49ers
said they didn't know.
And the reason there's an argument at all is because the NFL has changed overtime rules
because of the Chiefs.
The Bills raised hell because we scored first after tying them with 13 seconds left.
They raised hell and said we should have had a chance to win the game, but we were cut
short because of your stupid rules.
Well, they changed the rules.
And now the Chiefs won like this.
So, okay, they keep changing the rules so I can understand maybe someone not getting
it, but I don't understand why Kyle Shanahan wouldn't have went over there and described
to them what was going on.
I'm pretty sure Andy Reid went over to my home and said don't worry about the first
quarter running out.
We have the right to score because of the rule change, because of us and the Bills game.
Right.
So there wasn't a worry.
A lot of people thought that a lot of people were shitting and I had no idea because I
knew the rule.
People thought because we're down to like three seconds or whatever that if we didn't
make that play right then we would have lost.
No, it would have went back to 15 minutes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's another quarter.
Yeah, there's another quarter that's going to happen until we either scored or didn't.
If the homes went through an interception in the second quarter of overtime, that'd
have been over.
They would have won.
Yeah, yeah, they would have scored twice and then over.
If we kicked a field goal, it'd have been tied and went on in the second quarter.
If San Francisco probably went downfield and scored seven or six because they wouldn't
have kicked that extra point, they would have won.
If they would have hit three and we would have hit seven on the second round in the
second quarter, it would have been completely different.
Part of this is San Francisco's offense and how they have to do everything.
Brock Purdy's not like the best, hardest thrower around.
They have to do this mid-passing game.
They have to do these corner routes and these slant passes because he simply doesn't have
the pinpoint arm strength as he demonstrated a few times throwing the long pass and missing
miserably.
He's a good quarterback, but he's not an elite quarterback.
He's quite a bit reminiscent of Garoppolo, and I have to credit that to Colin Cowhert
when I listened to him today.
He pointed out some key issues and he's absolutely right.
They basically have Jimmy Garoppolo with a very, very low number under the cap.
The guy doesn't have the greatest arm, but he's good enough to get him to the promised
land, but to win it, no, everything has to go right.
He's not going to carry him on their back, although he played a really good game.
So, anyhow, San Francisco marches downfield only to have the drive stalled.
The scoring is held to a field goal.
The Chiefs are in desperate need of a first down, so we see Reed pull more magic out of
his hat with a designed Mahomes running play.
Wasn't that cool?
On fourth and one, Mahomes allegedly hands the ball off to, I believe it was Pacheco.
Everybody pounces on Pacheco.
Mahomes runs for nine or ten yards, gets a first down and a nice little chunk of yardage.
But that wasn't it.
He had another designed run play too that fooled him completely.
He fucking panced him on both of them.
Brilliant plays.
You would not see this in regular season.
That would never happen.
He's too valuable.
But if the Super Bowl is on the line, Mahomes will run and they have designed running plays
for Mahomes that they do practice.
But they only bring out the heavy artillery only when needed, which I support 100%.
You don't get your guy injured.
That's what you do.
You're playing for all the bags on the field.
You throw out whatever.
And Mahomes did it.
Mahomes did it like he always does.
He finds a way to do it.
You know, the Chiefs are in desperate need of a first down.
The designed Mahomes run and play gets nine or ten yards more than they needed.
You know, you could just see this completely deflating the 49ers defense.
The drive-ins with a BB to Hardman in the end zone with a fake run and play.
Again, San Francisco bit on it so hard, they need an orthodontist.
They're fucking, they bit on it so hard their teeth are cracked.
The game of inches I love so much once again prevails as such.
Congrats to the Zebras for not screwing up the game of bullshit tic-tac penalties.
Bravo! You guys listened.
We didn't have a bunch of alleged holding calls or phantom pass interference calls.
You guys left the game alone and it made the game much better, didn't it?
Yep.
Like we were always saying, you know, leave it alone.
If you miss a call, that's fine.
But if you call too many, it ruins the game.
So...
Honestly? Especially in the Super Bowl.
Yeah, you don't want to see...
You gotta let the boys play. Come on!
You do not want to see a game being lost by an alleged holding call or an alleged phantom...
Especially in the Super Bowl.
Because some of these holding calls, let's be honest, their opinion at best...
Oh my god, yeah, they've been nuts all year.
Yeah.
We've been calling, everybody's been calling them.
I'm glad they decided whoever had to talk with them to lay off.
Let them play.
People love this game. The game has never been better.
The game is spot on.
Look at how much money you're taking for the refs to fuck it up.
Yes.
Come on.
The game was a perfectly, perfectly orchestrated piece of music.
That needed no interruptions.
And bravo, Zebras.
Bravo, officials.
You guys finally got it. You nailed it.
Yeah, you got one right this year.
So we're kind of proud of you.
So anyhow, congratulations to our beloved Chiefs.
We have one more year where we can walk around with our noses in the air and thumb ourselves at the rest of the NFL.
Because we are the elite, we are the Chiefs, and we are the defending world champions once again.
I've got a bunch of reports saying they're coming back for a three-peat.
They want the three-peat. So let's see what they do next year.
I've got an article from Yahoo Sports that I'm going to probably introduce tomorrow because I didn't have time to today.
And it was very compelling about the thought of the Chiefs are primed without injuries for a three-peat.
But I've got to caution people on this.
Before we go talking three-peat, we have to look at the offseason, particularly Snead and Jones.
Good point. Good point.
Legeria Snead and Chris Jones need to be re-signed, but I don't think we have the money.
I don't know if we can shit the money.
We have draft picks we have to sign. We have other things we have to do.
We already mortgaged our future a little bit to sign Chris Jones for this year.
And it paid off. They won the Super Bowl.
But to re-sign Chris Jones, they had to finagle Kelsey's contract.
At some point, and then Mahomes' huge contract, which he deserves, no complaint.
So at some point, it's got to come home to roost.
At some point, they did themselves an immense favor when they traded Tyreek Hill
and they got all the draft picks on the defense, like Carl Loftus.
He's got another three years before you have to pay it.
Well, you'll probably start him early.
You'll probably re-sign him early and defer the money, because that guy is a phenomenal talent,
as he's shown over and over again.
Yes, he is. I've loved him since day one.
Yeah, me too.
That guy, he obviously was going to be a great player.
His attitude, everything about him. Carl Loftus is a stud.
And he's fast, he's quick, and he is, they call him Furious George.
And that's because he plays with fury and passion.
The guy, he is a superstar in the making.
And I can't wait to see this guy evolve into what he's going to become.
But everybody says he's a great guy.
He is, he is.
It's just that when you meet him on the field, you don't think so.
He has that fire, he has that flair.
He has a spin around move. If you remember Neil Smith.
Yeah, oh God.
How could you forget Neil Smith, the great Neil Smith, awesome guy too.
Speaking of awesome guys, or both awesome guys.
So Neil Smith, you thought you had the guy stopped.
And he had the ability to spin around, lose you, and grab the quarterback in the same spin motion.
I've seen Carl Loftus do this a few times now.
And that is a God given talent that you don't just find one day.
You're either born with that or you're not. Carl Loftus is born with that.
So Carl Loftus, awesome.
How's it been going? Proud, proud Greek brother.
He wears the Greek flag on his locker.
So anyhow, and that's how I got my relatives a little bit more interested in the Chiefs.
So anyhow, you got to do what you got to do.
As a matter of fact, my cousin, Mataksa, lives in Canada.
Now every time the Chiefs are playing in the postseason or even last games,
he's like sending me messages on Facebook.
Hey man, what do you think is going to happen today?
And I'm like, wow, because he's a soccer guy. All of them up there are soccer.
They love soccer. They grew up on soccer.
And anyhow, he's starting to get a little bit more interested in football.
Not just because of Carl Loftus, but because the Chiefs are so compelling.
The Taylor Swift angle of it, you know, all that stuff.
You know, he has daughters. He has three daughters.
And I'm sure they're into Taylor Swift.
Anyhow, so Ava, my cousin's daughter, I guess that'd be my second cousin,
she wants to come to Arrowhead badly and send me a message going,
will you please take me to Arrowhead?
I said, you find your way down here and we will make it there.
So anyhow, so.
Well, I mean, yeah, I mean, come on.
It's, look, I mean, I'm talking about the top of media right now.
Yeah, look, I may have.
Everybody in the world knows about this right now.
Oh, I know I may have that kind of outgrown Arrowhead, but you know what?
If I could take my relatives there and let them experience there,
I would gladly do it in a hot second.
And I think that's going to happen.
There would be no better feeling.
Yes. So anyhow, we.
Somebody from a totally different country.
Yeah.
Well, and also want to take my cousin.
He's really into barbecue now because when he came down to take his daughter
to Northwest State University, she's going to go to Taylor in Indiana on a
soccer scholarship. Yeah.
Yeah. On a soccer scholarship.
But a couple of places were like Avila right up the road for me.
And another place was Northwest State University in Maryville.
So when they came down here.
I know where Avila is at.
Yeah. Yeah. I live a mile away from Avila.
Yeah. Yeah. OK.
I'm getting a pinpoint about where you're at.
Yeah, I'm basically Red Bridge area.
So, OK.
So anyhow, she got these invites from all these schools.
And while they're going to Northwest State and Avila, we were like, hey,
come on down.
We got a couple of days and I took him to Jack stack for the Burn Ends and a
couple of Q39 and some other places.
But he'd already seen this thing on the food channel or something about Burn
Ends and how they originated in Kansas City.
So like he's he's been wanting to go to the American Royal really bad,
which is now an arrowhead.
So he was already scheduled to go to Arrowhead, but for a different event.
So now it's like, OK, got to take Metaxas there for for the American
Royal and Avila there for Arrowhead.
But now Metaxas will probably want to go to Arrowhead, too.
And so it's going to be a neat thing because Arrowhead is a focal point of all
these and also the World Cup coming up next year, I think, twenty twenty five.
Or is it this year?
Oh, the World Cup is going to be here one of these years.
You know, like I wish I could say better, but I'm just not that big of a
soccer fan. I've tried.
I just don't get.
I'm honestly.
Checking out a little more myself.
I really am.
I like it, but I'm just not real passionate about it.
I've always had a little thing to soccer.
I really have.
That's cool.
And you're slightly younger than me, too.
Maybe when I was growing up, there wasn't any soccer where I was around.
I had no idea about it.
I learned about it later after I was growing.
I'm like, oh, what's this football stuff that you talk about?
I never I never really played soccer.
I'd rather just play in the school yard, you know, but.
I don't know.
I did.
I was assistant coach for one of my stepdaughter's soccer teams.
Oh, OK.
Yeah. All right.
Hey, let's take our first break.
We're way, way, way late.
We're going on 40 minutes.
So anyhow, we'll be right back after this with some more stuff.
We're not sure what, but we'll figure it out.
Yeah.
I know what we're going to get.
Yeah. All right.
We'll be we know what we got.
I got some more NFL stuff for you.
All right.
We'll be right back in a couple of minutes.
I smell bacon.
No, wait, it's just Mark sweating.
Hey, fellas, remember to wipe away from the twins.
Stay fresh ideas from the douchebags.
What's that over there?
Oh, no.
It's silent.
Horrible jokes.
Oh, I can't take my dog to the lake.
The dogs keep attacking.
That's what I get for having a purebred dog.
Next up, things over heard in hell.
Man, Axel Rose is such a great childhood therapist.
I hope he writes more books.
Since we haven't a budget here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone,
here's a random guy on the street to promote our show.
Hi, everybody.
I'm Thready.
I love listening to Two Douchebags and a Microphone,
and I get all my pertinent information from them.
They are incredible, and I love them so.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.
It's strange insults from an alien.
Real hilarity.
Your IQ isn't even room temperature.
Oh, Lord.
That man just saw a puppy in half.
Hey there.
Don't worry.
I have a clown nose.
Oh, no.
That drunk guy just hit my child.
It's OK.
I have a clown nose.
Clown nose.
Just put one on, and you can do anything.
Want to run for office?
Murder people in public?
Just grab a clown nose and bam, everyone laughs.
Clown noses are sold at gag stores online and pedophile conventions.
Grab one today and make magic happen.
Once again, it's time for Rambling of a Madman.
I believe Congress needs to synchronize tap dance for 20 minutes before each session.
That needs to happen.
I believe Congress needs to synchronize tap dance for 20 minutes before each session.
Alright.
Two douchebags and a microphone.
I'm Mark.
And I am Ross.
Alright.
I'm very happy, very glad to be back at it.
Oh, yeah.
Honestly, I am too.
I am too.
I've kind of missed it.
I'm a little re-energized now.
I feel good.
I'm ready to talk.
So, Rob.
My mind's a little fresher.
Mine too.
And I told you about the days I had before the trip and trying to get the color printer
and my printer and the colors messed up.
And I thought that all the boarding passes were color-coded, which I later found out
wasn't.
So, I go to all these different...
My friend's copier is on the Blitz, like mine, only doing black and white.
I brought out my printer from the closet and it almost destroyed my computer.
And I'm like, shit!
What am I going to do?
Until then, I'm like, all right, I'll go to Office Max.
I go to Office Max number one on Main Street in Kansas City because I was coming back from
running some errands.
Oh, we don't have one.
All right.
We don't have one anymore.
Oh, okay.
You don't have a printer center or nothing?
I can't buy prints.
No.
No, we don't do it anymore.
Sorry.
The one in Lenexa does.
The one in Lenexa.
The traffic's horrible.
Oh, no.
We took it out last week.
Shit.
So, you might try the Office Depot, the big one over...
Oh, jeez, I forgot the name of the road.
If I told you, you'd know what I'm talking about.
But anyhow, go there.
No, I don't think anyone does it anymore.
You know any place to do it?
Oh, your local library.
What?
Yeah, your local library does this.
Shit.
So, I go five miles away.
Actually, two miles...
I have a library card.
I didn't know they offered that stuff.
Yeah.
I go two miles up the road.
Okay, mine's in Campton, but, you know.
My library's two miles up the road.
I did all that running in hours for nothing.
And then there's all different kinds of stuff, too.
I had to shim the door to get it to lock.
I mean, the hot tub, I had to balance that water.
And then I ran out of certain...
Yeah, yeah.
I ran out of chemicals, so I had to go on a chemical search.
It was just...
Anyhow, I'm refreshed now, and I was frazzled before, so...
Well, yeah, you take a week off, everything pays its price.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, I come back and I balanced the water so well,
all I had to do was add one scoop of pH.
And the water was fine.
I was like, wow.
Hey, I can teach you some tricks.
I'm starting to learn some, but if you got something you can show me, please.
That would be great.
Well, I think I have one of my old CTOs
with a certified pooling operator book, perhaps, or something like that.
That would be cool.
The one I had to read and pass the test on.
That would be exactly what I need.
That was for a five-year national certification.
Oh, yeah, I know you're talking about through...
Yeah.
Was it Cert-i-Tech or something like that?
No, it's certified pooling...
Certified.
...and a small operator.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
But it's national.
I could have went anywhere in the 50 states.
You'd go to Florida right now.
I see a pool I didn't like.
I could shut it down until it passed my inspection.
That'd be so cool.
It'd be okay.
If someone's being a dick to you, you could go to their home personally
and shut down their pool.
Wouldn't that be great?
No, no, no.
I had to have the test results, everything.
Yeah.
Okay.
There's...
So if someone's being a dick to you, you just couldn't go over there
and shut down their pool.
No, no.
I could not do that.
But now if I went to a friend's house
and their pool looked like a...
A fungus factory.
...drug pond.
Yeah.
Drug pond.
I could legally shut them down.
Well, yeah, because the algae in there can be very harmful to people.
It can even kill people.
But it didn't just go residential.
I could go to...
If I went to a hotel
and I thought something was wrong,
all I had to do was pull out my card
and they would have to prove to me right then and there
they'd have to take the test right in front of me.
Wow.
If not, I could shut their pool down.
Wow.
And they could not open it back up
until it passed my inspection.
Okay.
I had that five-year certification.
I held it twice.
So I was certified for 10 years of full-foss.
Okay.
All right.
And here I am cutting steel,
which tomorrow, Valentine's Day,
will be my seven-year anniversary at work.
Very cool.
Congratulations, Rob.
What's up?
Excellent.
Anyhow, you said you had some NFL stuff you wanted to get into.
Yeah, yeah.
I got a strange one from the NFL.
All right.
Let's hear it.
Not that.
This is on irisstar.com.
Okay.
Irish Stink Star?
Was that the name of it?
No, Irish Star.
Okay, irisstinkstar.com.
There you guys go.
Go ahead.
Talk to you tomorrow.
I'm part Irish.
I'm just going to go ahead and say I am too,
with no evidence at all.
No.
Yeah, but dude, this is an out there.
Okay.
I figured it would be pretty fitting for this show.
Okay.
People are curious about what happens when NFL players need to
loot another's bathroom.
But not many players talk about it or say if or how they use the
toilet during matches.
No, I got a question, Rob.
Is this talking 1 and 2?
Huh?
Is this talking 1 and 2?
Taking a dump and a piss?
Well, the only words I see leading that is pee.
Okay.
I do see the word pee.
But there is a reason.
Well, the reason I ask that is because I've read several players
say that they've been hit so hard before it made them shit themselves.
That's why I ask that.
Okay.
All right.
Well, see, that would be a totally different story than what this one is.
Okay.
Go ahead, Rob.
I didn't mean to interrupt you.
I was just trying to get the gist of it.
No, no, no, no.
Just say no.
This leads into the fluids they drink.
Oh, yeah.
They have to drink a lot of fluids.
Yes.
A lot of pee.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
Like all athletes, NFL players drink lots of fluids to stay hydrated while playing
so it's likely that some might need the bathroom during a long game.
Uh-huh.
So can the NFL players use the bathroom?
The NFL has not banned toilet breaks.
But you don't often see players leaving the pitch to relieve themselves.
Halftime trip to the changing room is probably their best chance.
NFL players have been known to pee in their pants in a cup, behind a bench,
or on sidelines hidden by towels.
Ex-Miami Dolphins star Channing Chapprouter used to pee in his pants
because no one noticed from a distance.
Well, sometimes I sweat so much.
How are you going to know?
It goes in to different stars, Carolina Panthers, Ryan Kahlil.
Uh-huh.
He's peeing all over the sideline, all the ground, he pats wherever.
Well, it does make sense, Rob, and I always wondered that.
I was like, you know, they have to have some sort of a system.
What?
I always wondered because when they're sweating really bad, their pants are wet anyhow.
All the Gatorade they drink, they're taking influence.
They got to lose it.
Yeah, so I get it.
No, they do whatever they can.
And also they're focused.
They try to keep it invisible.
Some of these stories go into saying how they have other guys hold up towels.
Well, right there, you know.
Yeah.
I just read, dude, I've always wondered that because you don't see guys running off the site, you know, and by all the time.
They believe.
No, I know.
Well, thank you, Rob.
I'm starting to wonder if they don't have port-a-bodies in the medical kits.
Oh, I'm sure that I'm sure they probably do.
I bet they do.
I bet.
I bet anything they do.
If not, it'd be a good idea for them.
Yes.
Yep.
OK.
Let's take our second break because we're running so late.
Then I'm going to go into the story about everything going.
Ninety nine percent of my flight, my trek back to Kansas City went great.
Except for this little bitty percent that I'm getting ready to speak about.
I've got to tell the story about this.
OK.
And what can go wrong after everything goes right?
So we'll be back in in a flash and I will tell you all about this story.
Can't wait.
Hello.
This is Satan.
You might know me from my pet name, Inflation.
I'm here to tell you that there's no better way to relax than listening to two douchebags in microphone by a nice warm fire at night.
I sit there and I reflect on all the souls I burned that day.
Enjoy.
Invisible ass paddlings, new douche flavors and horrible pranks.
What the fuck is wrong with these guys?
Introducing Rob Rad's new book, How to Track Your Enemy by Scent.
That's right, smell your enemy before they get you.
Order this gem now and get a free virtual tour of Rob's secret bunker in Camdutton, Missouri.
Also receive a free copy of his new book, How to Clean Raw Sewage for Food.
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.
Hmph.
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
Huh. I may never know.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.
It's strange insults from an alien.
Real hilarity.
I will waste you.
But my mom told me to not burn trash.
The beginning is...
Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.
Baseball's third season of the year begins tonight.
Yay.
Music
Two douche bags and a microphone on Mark.
And I am Rob.
Alright. Well, like I said before, you know, I told you about, you know, the severe weather, the tornado watch, all that stuff going on down there.
And now I rebooked the flight, you know, just so I could get in home for most of the Super Bowl.
If everything went right, I would have been home about, eh, seven or eight minutes into the first quarter, okay?
And it's the Super Bowl, nothing happens in that time ever, right?
Yeah, but you had to land a KCI, didn't you?
Yes, which is way...
It's basically an island.
Is that where the malfunction happened? Just ask it.
Part of it. Part of it.
Well, you know, you know, you know a lot of it because you live around this area for so long.
KCI is...
Yeah, well, that's why I'm asking. You have not told me none of this off there.
I'm just asking. It had to be... it had to have happened, a KCI.
First off, the new airport is huge.
And it takes forever to navigate around that thing.
I mean, it is literally like just forever to get from where you're leaving the plane to the baggage compartment,
which is downstairs, way away from the arrivals.
Oh my God.
Yeah, it's crazy how big the new KCI is.
It's a beautiful airport, but the old one...
How do they handle handicapped people through that?
They have to be in chairs, I guess.
Yeah, no, never mind. That's a different story for a different life.
Okay. All right. We can go into that next one.
So anyhow, you know, it's forever.
And it's a beautiful new airport and I love it, but it's a huge airport now.
It didn't used to be. It used to be you got right out, you turn like two foot to the right,
there's your baggage, you turn two foot to the left, there's your ride.
That simple. Not now.
So, okay, first off, I spent 600 bucks plus switching my plane rides around
so I could get home early in the second quarter.
Well, actually, I said second quarter on here, but because it actually took longer.
But anyhow, I kind of wrote it wrong.
I was going to actually be home about seven minutes at most into the first quarter.
I had to do this on the boat because if I waited, I would not have had an opportunity at those seats.
You know, I prefer to talk to someone, but I had to do it online because I was on internet connection
in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico.
You know, I do use internet phone on the ship,
but I wasn't going to chance a drop-off call in the middle of me trying to, you know,
and then, you know, they didn't hear something and they got booked wrong.
So I had to do it on the internet so I could check it and make sure it was right.
So, okay, so fast forward.
Houston was under a tornado watch, so we're, you know, hoping our flight would depart
before the line of severe storms hit.
Luckily, we did barely.
It was a bit bumpy until we flew over the first line, but, you know, we got through it fine after that.
So our plane's connection at Lefuel in Dallas got out early,
and this was the only flight I could book.
The nonstop was sold out by the time I went back the next day.
Like I said, we're getting ready to go to dinner.
It was a fancy night and all that stuff.
I didn't have time to book it that night.
I wish I would have just been a little late for dinner and booked it that night
because we would have had a nonstop and no problems at all,
and I'd been home plenty of time for the Super Bowl and like a couple hours before.
But anyhow, that ship had sailed, so we were hoping that, you know,
our flight would leave before the severe storms.
Luckily, it did.
A little bit bumpy, flew over the first line, got through it fine.
So our plane's connection at Lefuel in Dallas got out early.
We only had a 59-minute flight from Dallas to KC.
The pilot, he must have been a Chiefs fan because we arrived at KCI 15 minutes early, dude.
I'm ecstatic. I'm like, this is working out so well.
I might get home two minutes into the game.
So I'm like just stoked. I'm like kick ass.
So anyhow, luggage comes out early too, so I'm like, oh my God, everything's shining on me.
Angels are singing.
I'm looking at the sky because this is so heavenly.
So the ride service that I book usually sends me a text to notify me that my driver is there
and will have my name on a tablet near whatever gate.
They'll say like gate B4.
They'll send me a text saying, your driver will be on B foot in front of B4.
Your name will be on the tablet. Go to him.
I grabbed our luggage and went over to the corner to look for the text.
Well, to my surprise, there was no text.
I called the service and they answered and they told me the driver's running a little late
and should be there soon.
I'm waiting five more minutes and realize he's still not called.
I see another guy from the same ride service and he was awaiting a passenger from Nashville.
I went up to him just to make sure and on his tablet is like Jones or something. I'm like, oh shit.
So we both ask him because now Val's involved and not really happy either.
The man told us that our driver would definitely be out in that area if he was indeed at the airport.
So I get a call from a Chicago number and I answered.
And on my phone was a man that said he was my driver and he was only five minutes away.
So five minutes later, I'm still waiting.
I call back and he says he isn't very far away that he would park and come get us.
And I said to the guy, I said, are you aware there's a Super Bowl going on right now?
He said, yes. I said, we're B54. Meet us out front.
He said, OK. It took him another five minutes to get there.
So he's out front now instead of coming to get us.
We packed all our stuff, went across the road and met him out at the outer the outer area.
We load up our luggage and this guy didn't know that the station the game was on.
I told him it was on 810.
He was listening to 610 Sports Talk and he was actually thinking it was a game.
I could see him trying to listen.
He is an older guy and he was trying to listen, trying to make out what was going on in the game.
I go, that isn't the game. That's 610. They're just having a sports show on.
I said the game's on 810.
So anyhow, I'm not sure about the guy at all.
So anyhow, he turns it to 810.
You talk at 810. I know Limp Station.
Yeah, yeah, of course. So I-29 is a 70 mile an hour for six miles, right?
You know this area? You used to drive it all the time.
You go up to 55, then 45, and it reduces to 65 after that.
The downtown interchange goes to 55, then 45, but quickly goes back up to 65 again on the south side.
This guy is going 50 in a 70 mile an hour zone.
You don't have- so, you know, I'm saying subtle stuff to him like you don't have to turn off for 25 miles.
And you know, and I even said something like I'm so glad they raised this freeway to 70 mile an hour.
He goes up to 55 barely.
I start watching the game on my phone, but then I realized the game was 40 seconds behind on my phone than it was on the radio.
So I couldn't really- you know, everything was all fucked up, so I couldn't even watch it.
So you know, we're completely at this idiot's mercy by this time.
The driver, he goes on to tell me that he overslept and he had an incident with some woman earlier.
And it was a long day.
Now I was sitting there thinking, fuck you.
Too bad you didn't quit, so I could have someone competent driving.
And so we finally make it to our house after a grueling slow putt-putt driving
and the constant me reminding of the exes that he needed to turn off and what have you.
You know, I always tip really well.
This time I didn't leave him a fucking dime.
I grabbed my bags and said, see ya, I'm done with this.
I guarantee you, someone will be getting their ass a little bit lighter later on today.
And someone did get their ass chewed off.
Someone's ass is quite a bit lighter because I let that ride service know about how incompetent that idiot was
and how furious I am that I missed a big portion of the game because this idiot overslept.
He overslept my fucking ride.
Everything was going really well.
I was going to be home early and I let him know.
I paid $600 plus to get back to Kansas City on time and that fool in that car ruined it for me.
I want to punch his stupid ass right now.
I'm so mad over that.
That guy is a complete buffoon.
He should not be driving a car for anybody.
Anyhow, like I said, I tip and I tip well for good service and even bad service I'll tip a little bit.
This guy, I almost just gave him a finger to his face and said, here, here's your fucking tip.
Fucking grow a brain.
Well, there's a lot of people that do that these days.
Oh my God.
There's a lot of people that do side jobs like that.
Yeah, toward us, Uber, Lyft, you know.
He does not need to be driving a fucking car for anybody.
That guy is as incompetent as I've ever seen.
I could not believe it's 70 mile an hour and he's going 50 mile an hour on I-29.
People are fucking honking and zipping around him.
I don't know if he was half asleep still.
Dude, that's what you killed.
Yes.
I've been away from the city for 21 years.
Uh-huh.
I can tell you that.
Yeah.
That would get you killed.
Yeah.
A victim ran over.
Some semi will come up.
I didn't see it.
I'm about ready to box that idiot in the ears and fucking grab the steering wheel myself.
I was so mad.
So anyhow, I got home.
I missed a lot more of the game because that guy's stupidity.
If the luck of the draw would have gave me somebody competent, I would have been home
in so early and got to watch most of the game.
I rewound it and watched it, but it just so happens, luckily, for him, the reason I didn't
rip his head off was because the game was fucking so boring because it was such great
defense for three quarters that it didn't really matter that much anyhow.
I didn't really miss that much.
I missed a couple of fumbles in the red zone.
Hey, I have to call your bluff on this one.
Okay, go ahead.
I know why you did not.
Why?
You had Val sitting right next to you.
You're right.
As a matter of fact, I was going to get really rude with him.
If Val wasn't sitting next to me-
Don't lie to me.
If Val wasn't sitting next to me, I probably would have said, what the fuck is your deal?
Yeah, you probably would smooth the fuck off.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
Val is my grounding point, and I wouldn't do that.
Yeah, I'm going to call your bluff on that one, brother.
Rob, you're correct.
You love that woman.
I know you do.
Yep.
Oh, yeah.
Yep.
So you know what?
She keeps you grounded.
Yeah, she keeps me from doing stupid stuff like that.
We all need that.
We do.
You're right.
So anyhow, I had to put up with this city.
It's bullshit, but we made it home.
So you know what?
I just thank my lucky stars that this, the plane was switched to hobby, and we weren't
delayed maybe all night.
I may have had to watch the game at the damn airport.
It wasn't for me switching flights on the ship.
So there's a lot of stuff that did happen that did lead me to come to the game and watch
over half of it.
So I thank God for that.
And you know what?
That's good.
Yeah, it could have been much worse.
So I'm happy for what I had.
It's just it could have been so much better, but someone dropped the ball, and it really
irritated me.
So anyhow, we are well over an hour, so I think we're going to go ahead and cut this
one down.
That sound okay, Rob?
All right.
And then I have a couple of wake-er stories.
Oh, you know what?
Tomorrow night.
Do you want to go ahead and do them real quick?
We can do them tomorrow night.
Okay.
And then tomorrow night, I'm going to have a boat run down and some incidents that happened
on the boat.
I'm going to tell you about, I've got a, I've got a rundown.
There's, there's at least one of these I really want to get out there.
Because it's a follow-up on a story that I-
Rob, do you want to go ahead and do that one?
Where are we, Rob?
Do you want to go ahead and do that one right now?
No, we'll do it tomorrow night.
We'll do it tomorrow night.
Everybody listen to me.
Okay.
I'm going to try to post this one tonight so you guys can have a new one because I noticed
people are getting a little antsy.
I got a couple of emails.
It's been a while.
I've been missing them in the mornings, man.
I'm not going back unless I know what's-
Des Moines going nuts, dude.
I got three emails from them.
I'll read them later.
If whatever I can get to them.
Hey, they really love our podcast up there and we thank you so much.
We can't thank you enough.
So-
No, we're not going to do that.
We're going to do it tomorrow night.
We can't thank you enough, so-
No, we can't not.
Yeah.
They were very nice.
I really like it.
They were very nice.
I feel like I could meet some of them.
You know what?
I mean, if our listenership keeps increasing, why not do a road trip up there?
Why not?
We may have to.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they're amazing.
You would be great.
Like, go to one of those fucking budget-in places and have the meet-and-greet out there.
Yeah.
Have the meet-and-greet out in the parking lot.
Well, that's great.
Yeah.
Or Bluetooth.
And the only consolation is all of our proclaimed assholes, because everybody has their own
opiate ant.
They had the pest.
Howard Stern had the whack pack.
Man Cal had the militia of love.
They all had their own name for their listeners.
Ours are assholes.
So our only stipulation is assholes have to be wearing bib overalls with no shirt.
Even the women?
Yes, of course, especially the women.
Especially the women.
Des Moines, stay tuned.
Everybody, thank you.
Have a great night.
We love you guys.
Love you all.
Good night.
Hey, where did everybody go?
Where are the douchebags?
Oh my god, someone took a dump in the corner.
Oh jeez.
Glad they're gone.
Let's just hope they don't come back.
Man, that smells.