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Live from the historic river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the crystal blue waters of the Missouri River, it's Two Douchebags and a Microphone Podcast.

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And now it's time for the Daily Douchebag Pledge.

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Two Douchebags and a Microphone Pledge, I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to download every show.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to grab family members phones and download the show from there.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to go to public computers and download the show from there.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to laugh at all the unfunny jokes.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to lie to all my friends and tell them how good the show is.

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And finally, I, Joe, or Jane listener, promise to visit Montrose, Missouri to take advantage of the power plant, campgrounds, and junkyard all within its quarter mile radius.

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Hey look, I think we've found land. Oh my god, I think we're safe.

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Oh no, it's the island of horrible jokes.

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Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was too tired.

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As much fun as an electric can opener to the scrotum, two douchebags and a microphone.

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Two douchebags and a microphone, raw and uncensored.

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See behind the smoke show. Watch as the douchebags get stung by a fork of bees.

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Enjoy one of many coffee houses ordering our heroes out.

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Watch Mark revisit Clinton, Missouri to claim his innocence for all the mad shitter accusations.

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I didn't do it. I'm not the mad shitter.

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Now and get both high quality DVD sets and a free douchebag calendar. Mark off the day with a douchebag looking at you.

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Supplies are limited so act now.

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Two douchebags and a microphone, I'm Mark.

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And I am Rob.

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Alright, how you doing Rob?

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I'm doing pretty good. Other than this damn misty ass weather we're in.

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It's just, it's miserable. It's cold but not crazy cold, which we appreciate after the weather that we have had, you know the 30 blow bullshit.

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But it's been foggy and misty the whole, for quite a while.

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Yeah, I mean it's just been really, really, really miserable. It's like real foggy and you can't see very far and it's real chilly.

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And we haven't seen the sun in how many days now?

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Oh man, it's been a few, yeah.

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Oh well.

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And we're miles apart.

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Yeah, but it's been like that I guess all around this part in the Midwest.

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So, anyhow, I got a little story here I thought was pretty cool.

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Go for it.

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Okay, an escaped kangaroo was captured after punching a Canadian officer.

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A kangaroo that escaped his handlers during transport to his new home was captured Monday eastern Toronto after a weekend in the wild.

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But not before delivering a punch to the officer during the capture.

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The female kangaroo hopped over her handlers late on Thursday during a rest stop at the Oshawa Zoo and farm in Ontario.

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And then when they tried to capture her, she hit the officer right in the face and the video footage is hilarious.

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Look it up if you get a chance.

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Not if you're the officer, but if you're watching it, it's funny.

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I mean this kangaroo did not fuck around.

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It just smacked him right in the nose.

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I always love watching ambulance jack up people.

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Me too.

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So yeah, so anyhow, that was interesting stuff.

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Anyhow, another story that's completely unrelated is a new trend in the states and also in the world is renaming a club or a bar gym.

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GYM, like a gym.

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That way people can keep their New Year's resolutions.

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You can go to the gym.

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Yes, you say I'm going to go to the gym twice a week.

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And there's a bar down the road called gym.

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GYM.

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So you go to that bar and you're on your, you can tell everybody.

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I kept my New Year's resolution all year.

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I went to the gym twice a week like I said I was going to.

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So.

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Why haven't I ever thought of that?

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I know it's brilliant isn't it?

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Damn it.

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I've always wanted to know about my own bar.

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I thought I'd be good at it.

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Honestly.

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I mean, people just go in there to check in at the gym, you know.

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Right.

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Yeah.

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So anyhow, in related stories, the Jackson County Jail has been renamed the low cost bill bonds store.

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Really?

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Yeah, no, not really.

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Oh.

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Okay, Walmart has kicked around an idea to rename some stores as fast and friendly and clean.

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And then they decided to maybe, maybe rename the self checkout to every other item free.

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Starbucks has had an idea to possibly name its stores as coffee hut budget coffees.

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I got you.

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Boeing and Mc, Boeing and McDonnell Douglas was going to be renamed fly right quality aircrafts.

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But I guess, I guess they didn't do that yet.

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The Buffalo Bills, the Buffalo Bills are contemplating changing their name to the Buffalo Almost.

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That was my favorite, the Buffalo Almost.

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And Tesla was pitching a possible name change to not very practical motors.

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Joey Burrow was thinking of filing for a name change.

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He's going to name himself injury reserve.

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And that would be fitting.

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That would be very fitting.

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And Tony Romo has been asked to rename himself gravel throat.

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Oh, that is so fitting.

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Yes, yes.

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Anyhow, interesting little article there.

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I mean, I love naming the gym, you know, the bar gym.

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So anyhow.

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Oh yeah, I love that one.

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Like I said, I'm surprised I hadn't thought of that by now.

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Yeah, that's a great idea.

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So let's see, I think there's one more, but I got to find it.

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There's one more name change.

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And let's see here.

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You know what, I can't find it.

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I am like, I am, I am like not prepared today and I thought I was going to be.

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Oh, I'm telling you dude.

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Yeah, my evening was a little short.

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So I was rushing.

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That's why I told you, you may have given me a few minutes, but I made it under the box.

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Well, I was not feeling well last night and I'm feeling better today, but I'm kind of spacey.

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And I didn't have anything together because I've just been kind of spacey all day.

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Just been a weird day.

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Right.

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You know, I took a COVID test.

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That's fine.

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I mean, I just don't know.

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It was like a little sniffle thing or something.

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But yesterday I was really feeling horrible and I was like really kind of hacking too much to actually do a podcast.

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And today it's just like I'm trying to play catch up on everything.

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So anyhow, forgive me.

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Like I, like I, when we were talking last night, I told you, influenza A is going around right now.

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Well, thank God it's not that because if I had that, I would not be doing this podcast right now.

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So I'm very, I'm very happy.

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It wasn't that.

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But like I said, it slowed me down today and made me spacey just enough to where I have some stuff laid out for the podcast.

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But when I got here, it was like starting over.

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I couldn't remember.

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That's why I started into some weird shit like the kangaroo.

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I was like, what the hell was I going to start it on?

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And as the first story I could see him like, oh shit.

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It worked.

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It worked. So yeah. So Rob, you got anything you want to get to?

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Yeah. Yeah.

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Okay.

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I've always wondered this and I think a lot of people have.

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Okay.

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Have you ever noticed how McDonald's Coca-Cola tastes different than any other Coca-Cola?

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It is. It's better than any other Coca-Cola.

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And there's a lot of reasons. I know what they are.

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But go ahead and tell people because I bet you most people don't know why it tastes better.

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Right. And I ran across this story yesterday on another internet site.

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But then I had run across again today and this is off I Heart Radio internet.

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Oh wow. Well, McDonald's Coca-Cola is the best tasting.

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It's popped up in my news.

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Their Coca-Cola is the best tasting Coca-Cola ever.

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That is, it's so good. Anyhow, tell everybody how they do it.

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And this is why. What makes it taste better in comparison to the Coca-Cola served at other fast food chains?

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Customers around the world have been asking this question for decades.

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If you've tried McDonald's Coca-Cola, you know exactly what we're talking about.

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And now we have the answer.

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According to people, McDonald's recently revealed why their Coca-Cola tastes crisper and refreshing and just all around better than the rest.

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And I think that's the other article I read yesterday.

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Well, okay. Real quick, let me clarify something here.

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It was released by an employee quite a while ago.

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And McDonald's had to come back and eventually release it themselves to act like they meant to.

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That's what I got out of it.

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Because I read it on the internet quite a while ago.

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And anyhow, it was like employees were like giving away their secrets.

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But anyhow, go ahead.

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Well, this is how it starts.

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Many fast food joints get their Coca-Cola syrup delivered in plastic bags.

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But McDonald's receives its shipments in stainless steel tanks.

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The special treatment can be traced back to an agreement made in 1955 between McDonald's creator Ray Kroc and the owner of Coca-Cola.

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As you can see, the fast food restaurant chain has an advantage against competitors before the product is even prepared.

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Now the process...

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Okay, so McDonald's has their syrup shipped in fancy containers, but that can't be it, right?

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It's part of it, but also the... Oh, sorry, go ahead.

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The global fast food empire prides itself in cleaning their soda fountains with filtered water versus tap water.

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This increases and holds the quality of the syrup and the carbonation of the cola as it runs through the machine.

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People mention that the filtered water and Coca-Cola syrup are pre-chilled before being put into the fount machine.

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The chain will even add extra syrup after the entire process is complete to ensure the perfect ratio of syrup to frozen water when the ice is added to the drink.

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And here's the details. Just when you thought the fountain drink couldn't get any more complex, McDonald's swooped in with the straw width.

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Yes, we are officially discussing the width of the straws now.

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It might seem like such a minor detail, but clearly it makes a difference.

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The fast food chain straws are wider than straws found at their competitors' locations, so the Coke taste can hit your taste buds more efficiently.

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Yep.

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That's why it tastes so much different.

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Yeah. Another place I think it does that is Quick Trips. The QUICK Quick Trip up here around Kansas City. Well, they're in quite a few places now.

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The one I'd love to add one of.

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Yeah, yeah. I believe they do the stainless steel things too, if what I read is correct.

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But also another thing that Coca-Cola does is not only do they have them in those old fashioned stainless steel, they look like kegs almost.

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Yeah.

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They never got rid of them there. Everywhere else has these bags that have cardboard around them and they look like little boxes.

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You can stack them easy and you can click them on real easy when you run out. Everyone else does that, but McDonald's never got rid of those little keg looking things.

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They always kept them. And also it comes in a refrigerated truck and the refrigeration of the syrup never gets under 40 degrees or over 45 degrees or something like that.

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That's another thing.

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Yeah.

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Like you said, the cleaning with the filtered water. And also they add that extra syrup to compensate for the ice, yes.

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But there's something else that they did too. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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The temperature that the Coca-Cola is coming out of the fountain at is like 35 degrees. It is the coldest temperature you can get without it starting to get ice chunks in it.

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Oh damn.

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Yeah.

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See that I did not know. That I did not know.

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Well, to me.

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I did not know none of this, but I mean it explained it to me and I figured everybody else would want to know.

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No, no, no. I bet you most people don't know. This is just something that like I was interested in and took a liking to find out about.

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Most people don't care. You know, they just go McDonald's and go, man, that's a good taste of Coke. And then they go on.

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So, yeah, that's very interesting. And I'm glad that you did that story, Rob, because now a lot of people will know what all is.

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Yeah.

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Yeah. So.

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And another little helpful hint. You want your soda to taste better? Use a McDonald's straw.

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Yeah, they're wider. They're wider in the round.

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Well, yeah, you get more punch in, you know.

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Well, have you noticed all these other fast food chains and not so fast food chains and stores and stuff started switching to either like paper straws or some sort of a different straw?

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McDonald's has never changed their straw.

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They went smaller.

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Yeah. McDonald's has never changed their straw once. So that'll tell you something right there.

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Yeah, they they're afraid to because they know it'll hurt their product.

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So.

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Anyhow, interesting. Let's go ahead and take our first break and I'm going to come back with a story about some of the weirdest things found in drains by plumbers.

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That sound OK?

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No, it sounds awesome.

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It's pretty cool. All right. We'll talk to you guys in a minute.

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The apocalypse just happened. You don't know what to do. You don't know where to go. But we can tell you what you can eat.

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Good news. If your good old pal, your dog survives the apocalypse too, broadleaf plantation is a good answer for both of you.

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The entire plant is edible from root to tip, can be roasted or raw and is safe for canines and humans.

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And now deep thoughts with Mark.

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So if I have a glass of ice water and the ice melts into the water, is my water then watered down?

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Hmm. I may never know.

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Break shit house energy drink. That's right. Break shit house energy drink. Make men and women a girl.

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Chomp on their balls. Who wants to fuck shit up? Run for a scum across America. Break shit house is for you.

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Please enjoy break shit house energy drink responsibly. It's not readily available anywhere because of liability issues.

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Hi there. This is Fucknut from Two Fucknuts and a Recorder podcast.

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Two Douchebags and a Microphone are our favorite podcasts ever.

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Please go to your friend's computer and download it from there. Go to your church's computer and download it from there.

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Go to people you don't know and grab their phones and download it on there.

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These fuckers need all the help we can get.

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And I'm Rob.

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Alright. Well, Rob, like I said just a little bit ago before we went to a break.

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There's been odd stuff that plumbers have found in pipe drains.

222
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:37,000
And they did a little survey and they found out the ones in the UK and the ones in America and what weird things they found.

223
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:41,000
And what were the most popular weird items that they found.

224
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:46,000
So I am wanting to hear this. This is going to be interesting.

225
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:59,000
It is, Waven UK, one of Britain's largest manufacturers of plastic drainage pipes, surveyed plumbers for the oddest items found in a drain pipe.

226
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:08,000
Probably the oddest that they found and probably no one could ever know the reason of how it ended up in a drain pipe.

227
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:14,000
And I don't even know how it's possible for this to end up in a drain pipe, but it did.

228
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:19,000
A two man tent with a sleeping bag.

229
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,000
And I'm not joking.

230
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,000
What?

231
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:24,000
Yes, I'm not joking. You look this up. Look it up on Google.

232
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,000
Was this in a house drain pipe?

233
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:31,000
As far as I know, a house or an apartment drain pipe.

234
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,000
Well, that would be a four inch line.

235
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:38,000
I know.

236
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,000
Wow.

237
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:45,000
I mean, did they disassemble it and they just like put the...

238
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:52,000
It doesn't show pictures, but it is online. You can look this up.

239
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:56,000
It's been vetted that this really happened.

240
00:20:56,000 --> 00:21:02,000
The only thing I can think of is like, you know, the tent poles went in first maybe.

241
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,000
And then like maybe the...

242
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:09,000
You know what? I don't know how it happened, but it happened somehow.

243
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:14,000
The next one that was odd.

244
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:21,000
But I could see this one actually, you know, Lego bricks.

245
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,000
The next one?

246
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:26,000
Oh yeah. Yeah, I've had kids. I have a grandson.

247
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:29,000
Yeah, that's odd, but not so odd. I can see how that was...

248
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:34,000
Yeah, that's actually kind of normal.

249
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:39,000
Another odd one that they found was rubber ducks.

250
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:45,000
Yeah, you know what? I could see that going down a drain pipe and like maybe a bathtub.

251
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,000
Wrong water hole.

252
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:50,000
Yeah. Yeah, very much.

253
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:53,000
Should be in the tub, not the toilet.

254
00:21:53,000 --> 00:22:01,000
Yeah, yeah, yep. So I don't know. Maybe the kid thought he was going to take a bath in the toilet and throw him in there.

255
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:08,000
I don't know. So yeah, that two-man tent with a sleeping bag still gets me, but I'm not screwed.

256
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:14,000
I'm not screwed with you guys. Look this up. It actually happened.

257
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:18,000
I mean, the sleeping bag would have swirled.

258
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,000
You thought so? Yeah.

259
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,000
I don't see how it would have got down there.

260
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:26,000
Well, you know, someone had to go into there and open up the pipe and get whatever is out.

261
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:32,000
Some poor bastard was pulling out this tent and the sleeping bag, probably going, what the hell?

262
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:36,000
And scratching his head and going, how the hell did this happen?

263
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:41,000
And then, you know, probably going back to the shop and going, yeah, I found out what was clogging it.

264
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,000
And then you pull out this. It was this right here.

265
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:47,000
What?

266
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:54,000
Anyhow, I don't know how this happened, but it is recorded in history that this did happen.

267
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:59,000
The next one after rubber ducks is socks. And I got that one.

268
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:03,000
Okay. Someone can't find the drain plug, right?

269
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:07,000
Right. So they're like, hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

270
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:11,000
Or a washcloth. Yeah, a washcloth or something like that.

271
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:17,000
So that's how the socks happen. I see that. And I bet you that is uncommon, but not so uncommon.

272
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,000
I'll bet you that happens a few times.

273
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:29,000
Hey, but how the hell? If you use a sock for a drain plug, it would be either in the sink or the tub.

274
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:36,000
I still don't see the sock fitting down because you got the basket.

275
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:41,000
Again, I don't have an answer for this.

276
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:49,000
Everything I'm here, well, everything but the damn tent and sleeping bag could go down in the toilet.

277
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:55,000
I got this original story from Fox 4 in Kansas City. You know Fox 4, right? Channel 4?

278
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,000
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know Fox 4.

279
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,000
Yeah, yeah, they're great. I got it this morning.

280
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:04,000
And in the morning, they do this little odd news section thing and they tell you odd news.

281
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:09,000
And they're talking about this UK study and what people found in their drain pipes.

282
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:15,000
And they mentioned the two-man tent with a sleeping bag. I'm like, oh, okay, they got me on this one.

283
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:18,000
This has got to go to the podcast. Yeah.

284
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:24,000
So not only did they report it, I looked it up. I looked it up several times. I cross-referenced it.

285
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:27,000
This looks like it really did happen.

286
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:30,000
There you go, people. There you go.

287
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:36,000
So socks was the next one. And we're sure how that happened.

288
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:40,000
Someone could find the drain plug and they're like, oh, I'll put this sock in there.

289
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:43,000
It got washed down somehow.

290
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:49,000
Yeah, yeah, I mean, you got to use your worst cloth. Well, I'll just use my dirty socks.

291
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:57,000
Yeah, yeah, I need the washcloth to wash my ass with. So, you know, the socks are going to have to do.

292
00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:05,000
The next one, adult toys. I think we know how that happened, right?

293
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:12,000
That's got to be toilet. I'm telling you, dude, that's got to be toilet.

294
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:17,000
It's like, man, I need to keep entertaining while I'm taking a dump. Ding ding. Oh.

295
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:25,000
I could get no sexual toy down my bathtub drain. No.

296
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:28,000
I don't have any reason of how they did it.

297
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:33,000
I can't even get my son's long ass hair out of the damn drain.

298
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:39,000
Man, I know what you mean, man. A little bit of hair. It takes forever to get out of that.

299
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:46,000
Oh, no, dude. My 19 year old son's hair is about to build his back.

300
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:50,000
But he takes care of it, so I can't bitch about it.

301
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:55,000
Yeah, I mean, you get the long hairs in your drain, but I mean, you know, hey, he takes care of it.

302
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:59,000
So, yeah. So he's got a lot of kids beat right there, doesn't he?

303
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,000
Yeah.

304
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:06,000
OK, so then after the adult toys were teeth indentures. Yeah.

305
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:09,000
I still don't know how they went down, but they did.

306
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:14,000
So it's got to be another toilet.

307
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:18,000
I guess like old man Ferguson was taking his teeth out.

308
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:23,000
And after he got done pissing, he was going to go put them in their little box or whatever they put them in.

309
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:29,000
I think they put them in a little box, right? With like some sort of cleaner, maybe.

310
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:40,000
Oh, no, old man Ferguson had to go so bad. He got whipped out. It started coming out. It felt so good. He spit his damn teeth out.

311
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:47,000
That's what happened then, Rob. Old man Ferguson. He's like, gosh, man, I needed to piss for three years.

312
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:51,000
I've been waiting for that day when the piss feels that good.

313
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:58,000
Next one. Turkey bones.

314
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:02,000
I don't know. Do what?

315
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,000
Kitchen sink. Oh, you're right.

316
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:08,000
Kitchen garbages disposal. Yeah, you're right.

317
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:12,000
Yeah, the garbage disposal doesn't chew them up enough.

318
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:16,000
OK, so the turkey bones could spit down and then they get washed.

319
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:22,000
Actually, I don't know. Some of them are pretty small. They could fit down in the drain.

320
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,000
Well, yeah, yeah. I mean, the turkey bones.

321
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,000
I could see turkey bone.

322
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,000
I could, too. Then the next one.

323
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:31,000
The smaller, griffin slitty ones. You know what I mean?

324
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:37,000
Yeah, easily. Or the wishbone off the turkey because turkeys have wishbones, too.

325
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,000
So, yeah. Yeah.

326
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:44,000
Next one. Brussels sprouts.

327
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:49,000
Huh? Brussels sprouts. You know those little round green things, those little round fucking front gums?

328
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:52,000
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

329
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:56,000
So that had to happen at a kitchen sink, I guess.

330
00:27:56,000 --> 00:28:01,000
Someone's washing down their Brussels sprouts and lost a few of them.

331
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:09,000
Have it. Most kitchen sinks have a basket of development sometimes.

332
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:12,000
Maybe these ones that just happened don't.

333
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:15,000
I know what you mean, Rob, and you really know what you're talking about

334
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:20,000
because you used to do maintenance on apartments and you had to deal with shit like this all the time.

335
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:24,000
And I know enough about it, too, because I've dealt with stuff like this, too,

336
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:30,000
that they have a basket that catches this stuff to prevent it from hurting anything else.

337
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:38,000
It's called like a grease trap. I think that's what they call it, right? A grease trap?

338
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:44,000
Well, you have the pea trap underneath the sink.

339
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:52,000
But at the bottom of your sink, there's like a little basket where your drain is.

340
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:57,000
You know, you get food particles, you got to poke it out, whatever, you know.

341
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,000
Yeah, I've dealt with that a lot.

342
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:01,000
Before you put your stop at.

343
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:07,000
I don't see how a damn whole Brussels sprout would sit down there.

344
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:13,000
Unless somebody did a bad job of cooking them and flushing down the toilet.

345
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:17,000
Maybe all these were flushed down the toilet. I don't know.

346
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:22,000
I know the tent and the sleeping bag had to have been flushed down the toilet

347
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:25,000
because there's no fucking way it could be in...

348
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:31,000
It couldn't go down any other drain. It's just simply too small. It hadn't been a toilet.

349
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:37,000
OK, the tent, I can see. No, no, I know more.

350
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:41,000
How the hell you get them damn holes to flush down the toilet?

351
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:44,000
I don't know. I don't know. You know what?

352
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:45,000
The toilet even snakes.

353
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:48,000
We're never going to figure this out, Rob.

354
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:53,000
They had to have taken the pipe apart and shoved it in there.

355
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:56,000
Then that's probably what they did out of spite or something.

356
00:29:56,000 --> 00:30:00,000
Maybe it was an apartment complex and they're getting kicked out.

357
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:07,000
Yeah, out of spite or just to get their name put out on our show.

358
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:11,000
That's it. They're like, two douchebags of microphone will cover this.

359
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:16,000
So go ahead and throw this tent and the sleeping bag down the drain.

360
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,000
That's what it is.

361
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:25,000
I just don't see that, dude. I cannot think of any physical way possible.

362
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:30,000
I'm just going to go ahead and move on because every time I try to make sense out of it...

363
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:33,000
Yeah, yeah, let's move on because we're going to dwell on this the rest of the day.

364
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:37,000
We keep doing it. We keep going back to it like how did it happen?

365
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:40,000
You know what? We're never going to figure it out, so let's just move on.

366
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:44,000
Next one, bananas. Another one.

367
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:51,000
How do you lose bananas down a drainpipe?

368
00:30:51,000 --> 00:31:02,000
And then finally, the last odd thing that was found in drainpipes in the UK was a pipe stuck inside another pipe.

369
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:09,000
And that would probably happen if someone had the wrong inside diameter of a pipe.

370
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:10,000
Yeah.

371
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:16,000
Yeah, I've had that almost happen to me. You try to match them up and they're like, whoo, oh shit.

372
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,000
So that one's pretty easy.

373
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:21,000
You leave that one there and just throw another one on.

374
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:25,000
Yeah, and you'll throw another one on. It's like, okay, well, it isn't three quarters because that's down there.

375
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:29,000
It must be an edge.

376
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:33,000
Now, the US.

377
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:36,000
Hey, now, wait a second. You just said UK.

378
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,000
Yes. This is the US now.

379
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,000
Were all of those out of the UK?

380
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:43,000
Every one of those was out of the UK. I have a US list, too.

381
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:50,000
Oh, okay. Well, that might be the deal. Maybe they don't have the baskets in the bottom. They're kids.

382
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:52,000
You know what? You're probably right.

383
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:57,000
Maybe they're like old school.

384
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:01,000
Well, this is what people found over here.

385
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:02,000
Okay, yeah.

386
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:10,000
And this is all online and I looked at it several times and I found this on three different sources.

387
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:15,000
And I wish I would have wrote them down. But anyhow, you can look them up real easily.

388
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:22,000
In the US, the first odd one was a flight log that was laminated. So when dissolved.

389
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:28,000
A flight log like airplanes.

390
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:29,000
Okay.

391
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:36,000
A laminated flight log was found in a drain in the US.

392
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,000
Next one.

393
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:41,000
That was somebody up to no good or something.

394
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:42,000
That's what I think, too.

395
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:48,000
The next one, cell phones. It said cell phones are becoming common.

396
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:54,000
People losing their cell phone down the drain. It must be one of the minis.

397
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:59,000
A mini would fit down a drain real easily.

398
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:05,000
Like a toilet drain. You're taking a dump, looking at your phone.

399
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:09,000
Mine wouldn't. Mine would not go all the way through.

400
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:13,000
Have you ever seen the mini ones? The mini droids?

401
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:16,000
Yeah, the mini ones. Yeah. I can see they could.

402
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:21,000
I have a feeling it's probably mini ones because it said that these have multiple of them.

403
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:26,000
So, okay, I see how that happened. That's pretty easy to see.

404
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:30,000
It's probably a little miniature droid or something.

405
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:43,000
Next one. $12,000 in quarters.

406
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:48,000
That would have to be combined.

407
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:51,000
It had to have been like... That could not be in one line.

408
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:55,000
It must have been...

409
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:59,000
Or this is some more bullshit going on.

410
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,000
Maybe someone tried to hide a theft.

411
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:06,000
Somebody's placing it there. Yeah, somebody robbed a bank or robbed somebody.

412
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:10,000
Yeah, yeah, like robbed vending machines and they got $12,000 in quarters.

413
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:13,000
And they're like, oh, I'll hide them in a drain pipe.

414
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:15,000
And they got kicked out and had to leave.

415
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:20,000
I don't know. I would have grabbed that $12,000 before I grabbed anything.

416
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:25,000
Well, they had to have reported it, I guess, because it's here. It was on the internet.

417
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:30,000
Unless they went to jail and then the plumber had found it.

418
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:32,000
That could have been. That could have been too.

419
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:34,000
Could be.

420
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:39,000
Next one. A bottle of ketchup.

421
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:42,000
Must not have been Heinz.

422
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,000
No.

423
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:47,000
It was always saved. Always saved ketchup.

424
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:52,000
That's what it was doing in the sewer.

425
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,000
Yeah, it was an op-ramp.

426
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,000
Yeah, yeah.

427
00:34:56,000 --> 00:35:00,000
Next one. It was found in a drain pipe.

428
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,000
A can of beer.

429
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:05,000
It must have been light beer.

430
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:09,000
It'll travel further, right?

431
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:13,000
Yeah, it just, well, it should just float on through.

432
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:16,000
Yeah, yeah.

433
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:19,000
Another one. I don't know.

434
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:24,000
The only thing I can think of is someone was trying to purposely clog a toilet.

435
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:27,000
You know, like how people used to do that all the time.

436
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:30,000
They would clog the toilet out of meanness or whatever.

437
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:34,000
Because I went into plenty of public restrooms where someone threw a bunch of shit down a toilet.

438
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:36,000
And it's overflowing everywhere.

439
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:39,000
And someone thought it was cute or whatever.

440
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:42,000
So I think a can of beer would probably be along those lines.

441
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,000
Someone would go, hey, watch this, man.

442
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:47,000
Watch me throw this fucking Coors Light down this stool.

443
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,000
Ha ha ha.

444
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,000
Had to have been that.

445
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:56,000
And then the next one was a Raider's Jersey.

446
00:35:56,000 --> 00:36:02,000
They misunderstood the drain pipe and thought it was a sewer pipe.

447
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:05,000
That was definitely a toilet.

448
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:08,000
Yes, it was a toilet.

449
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:18,000
So in a related story, since we're talking about England,

450
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:23,000
the man who claimed to be selling Queen Elizabeth's walking stick is sentenced for fraud.

451
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:29,000
A 26-year-old man who tried to sell a walking stick he claimed was Queen Elizabeth's

452
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:33,000
charged with fraud on his eBay account.

453
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:42,000
So then after that, someone claimed they found Jamar Chase's balls.

454
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,000
It turned out to be false.

455
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:46,000
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

456
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,000
What happened to the dude?

457
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,000
He went to jail for fraud.

458
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:54,000
Or he's being charged with fraud on his eBay account.

459
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:57,000
So we don't know how much time he's received or anything?

460
00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:00,000
It is still in the court system.

461
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:05,000
I just wonder if that would just be a slap on the hands or that would be life in prison over there.

462
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:08,000
I'm going to look this up periodically.

463
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:09,000
Okay.

464
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:14,000
And I will let you know because this was a new article.

465
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:17,000
This one just came out about this guy doing this.

466
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:20,000
Well, I didn't mean to interrupt you.

467
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:21,000
No, no, no, it's fine.

468
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:24,000
That story just kind of piqued my interest there.

469
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,000
No, no, I understand that.

470
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:34,000
So the guy was on this is the way I understand it because he was charged with fraud on his eBay account.

471
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:38,000
Number one, his eBay account, it may not be English law.

472
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:43,000
eBay is from America, so he may have broken American laws and have to deal with it.

473
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:54,000
I don't know how this works on the Internet, you see, because it sounds to me like he was trying to sell these fraudulent walking sticks to Americans.

474
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,000
You mean that's what the Queen of England used to use?

475
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,000
Yes.

476
00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:59,000
But it was...

477
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:01,000
Okay, well, I could see that, but fraud.

478
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:06,000
I was just wondering, are they going to give him, you know, like two years probation?

479
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,000
Well, I don't know.

480
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:08,000
Or are they going to give him life in prison?

481
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:09,000
I don't know.

482
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:15,000
This is something to be determined because he was charged with fraud on his eBay account is what it said.

483
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,000
You see what I'm saying?

484
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:18,000
So this was his...

485
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:19,000
I got you.

486
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:20,000
No, I got you.

487
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:21,000
This was his eBay account.

488
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:24,000
So, I... oh no, I...

489
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:25,000
You're right.

490
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:26,000
That could have crossed over here.

491
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,000
Yeah, I don't know how those laws work.

492
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:40,000
And it sounded to me like, although the article did specifically say it, it sounds to me like he was trying to sell them to rubes in America on eBay is what it sounded like.

493
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:42,000
That would not surprise me a bit.

494
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:43,000
Yeah.

495
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:44,000
Real quick.

496
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,000
Hi, Grandma Opal.

497
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:48,000
Hi, Grandma Opal.

498
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:49,000
We love you.

499
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:51,000
Dodge City, Kansas, you rule.

500
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:53,000
And so does your son.

501
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:56,000
And as soon as he sends me his name, we'll say his name too.

502
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,000
So...

503
00:38:58,000 --> 00:38:59,000
It's a grandson.

504
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:00,000
Oh, was it a grandson?

505
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:01,000
Okay.

506
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:02,000
Her grandson.

507
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:05,000
I was thinking originally it was a grandson.

508
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:06,000
I think you're right.

509
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:07,000
It might be a son, but...

510
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:11,000
I think it was grandson, but in my own mind, I changed it to her son.

511
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,000
I'm pretty sure it was a grandson.

512
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:17,000
It is some type of son that loves his grandma very much.

513
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:18,000
And we love him for that.

514
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:19,000
Yes.

515
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:23,000
And he helps her get two douchebags and a microphone every weekend.

516
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,000
So anyhow, hi Grandma Opal.

517
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:26,000
Thank you for listening.

518
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:27,000
We love you.

519
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:35,000
So anyhow, along these lines here, you know, there was a man he claimed to have found Jamar Chase's balls.

520
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:37,000
And he was going to sell them on eBay.

521
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:38,000
But it turns out Jamar Chase...

522
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:39,000
I don't believe it.

523
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,000
He doesn't have any balls.

524
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:43,000
So he got charged before.

525
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:44,000
Exactly.

526
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:45,000
Yes.

527
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:50,000
So anyhow, Rob, you got something you want to go into?

528
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:54,000
Yeah, I got one here for you.

529
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:55,000
Okay.

530
00:39:55,000 --> 00:40:00,000
And I actually just found this right before we went on the air.

531
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,000
Okay.

532
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:03,000
And I found on ABC News.

533
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:04,000
Okay.

534
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:14,000
An Amish family had their horse and buggy stolen while they shopped at a Michigan Walmart,

535
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:15,000
as police say.

536
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:16,000
Oh, that's evil.

537
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:17,000
Oh, yeah, yeah.

538
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:18,000
Oh, it gets better.

539
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:19,000
Okay.

540
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:20,000
It always does, doesn't it?

541
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:21,000
It does.

542
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:34,000
The theft took place on Saturday at approximately 5.30 p.m. in the town of Sturgis, Michigan,

543
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:40,000
some 95 miles south of Grand Rapids near the Indiana border.

544
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:48,000
When the Sturgis Police Department and Public Safety were called to the Walmart on 1500

545
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:56,000
South Centerville Road to a report of a stolen Amish buggy and horse from the establishment

546
00:40:56,000 --> 00:41:06,000
of Parkamont, a truck driver parked in a Walmart lot had seen a female steal the buggy, according

547
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:10,000
to a statement from the Sturgis Department of Public Safety.

548
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:14,000
He gave police a description of the female subject.

549
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:21,000
As it turns out, police had already made contact with the 31-year-old female suspect earlier

550
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:30,000
in the day at the same Walmart, though officials did not elaborate on why they had spoken to

551
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:34,000
her or what the reason behind the contact was.

552
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,000
I can guess.

553
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:37,000
Yeah.

554
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:40,000
That was my words, by the way.

555
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:46,000
Police eventually found the stolen horse and buggy later the same evening and were able

556
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:53,000
to find the alleged unnamed suspect at a nearby motel where she was arrested without incident,

557
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:58,000
according to a story.

558
00:41:58,000 --> 00:41:59,000
Okay.

559
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:00,000
Wow.

560
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:04,000
Now they're getting her for stealing livestock.

561
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:07,000
Oh, that's the best thing I can get her on.

562
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:08,000
Yeah, livestock.

563
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:09,000
Yes.

564
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:10,000
Yeah, that's prison.

565
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:15,000
That's guaranteed prison time because that goes into the same thing as cattle rustling.

566
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:16,000
Oh, and that's right.

567
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:19,000
The animal was unarmed during the ordeal.

568
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:21,000
You know cattle rustling is a big deal, right?

569
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:22,000
Oh, yes.

570
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:23,000
Yeah, yeah.

571
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:29,000
You will go to prison for several years for cattle rustling, so stealing livestock is probably

572
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:32,000
the sternest charge they could get on her.

573
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:36,000
Probably even more than grand theft auto, if you will, but they probably really couldn't

574
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:37,000
do that.

575
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:41,000
The stolen livestock is serious, so she is probably going to see some jail time over

576
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:42,000
this.

577
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:47,000
Yeah, they could get her on the stolen livestock and the stolen buggy.

578
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:53,000
The buggy might classify as some sort of transfer.

579
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:55,000
I'm not sure how that would work.

580
00:42:55,000 --> 00:43:01,000
I'm not sure if the only way they can get grand theft auto would be it would have to

581
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:02,000
have motorized.

582
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,000
I don't know, but I know that...

583
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:09,000
Yeah, yeah, it would have to be motorized.

584
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:15,000
Then the stolen livestock should carry a lot of clout because those are laws that have

585
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:19,000
been around for many, many years to protect people from getting their livelihood stolen

586
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:22,000
from them because people used to cattle rustle.

587
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:25,000
They'd steal people's cattle all the time.

588
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:28,000
A farmer would wake up and 10 cattle were gone.

589
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:33,000
He just went bankrupt.

590
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:38,000
That carries a very stern sentence and she deserves it.

591
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:42,000
Well, I have four words for this woman.

592
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:43,000
Okay.

593
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:46,000
Stay away from meth.

594
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:47,000
Yep.

595
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:49,000
Oh, wait a second.

596
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:50,000
You're going to jail.

597
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:51,000
You will.

598
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:52,000
Good for you.

599
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:53,000
Yeah, yeah.

600
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:56,000
You're going to have a great chance to detox now, girl.

601
00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:57,000
Yep.

602
00:43:57,000 --> 00:44:00,000
You're picking on me on this.

603
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:01,000
Come on.

604
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:04,000
They got enough problems as it is.

605
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:07,000
That's fucking low.

606
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:15,000
All they need is one fucking bad case of influenza and it wipes out three quarters of them.

607
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:17,000
You're picking on them.

608
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,000
You're picking on them.

609
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:23,000
That's like slapping a handicapped child, right?

610
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:24,000
Right.

611
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:25,000
Yeah.

612
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:26,000
Wow.

613
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:28,000
Yeah, meth is a horrible deal, guys.

614
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:31,000
There are some good cooks.

615
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:33,000
Yeah, hell yeah, man.

616
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:34,000
They're great.

617
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:37,000
They've got some of the best food there.

618
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:40,000
Have you ever been up to Jamesport?

619
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:44,000
Yeah, I've been to Jamesport.

620
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:47,000
What's that place down here by me?

621
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:49,000
Oh, Oceola.

622
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:52,000
No, not Oceola.

623
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:56,000
There's a lot of Amish around Oceola, too.

624
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:57,000
Yeah.

625
00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:58,000
Oh, yeah.

626
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,000
Oh, I love Jamesport.

627
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:05,000
Oh, I know where you're talking about down there a little bit closer to Camdenton.

628
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,000
I can't think of the name of it.

629
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:09,000
Yeah, the name.

630
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:10,000
Yeah, it's—

631
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:12,000
Out by Max Creek.

632
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:13,000
Yeah.

633
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:16,000
Yeah, that's another huge Amish area.

634
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:28,000
Jamesport is great because they used to go up there, and you could buy those really fantastic breads that they cooked, and pastries, and their furniture is—

635
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:29,000
Oh, yeah.

636
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:32,000
Their furniture is handcrafted, handmade.

637
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:36,000
And anyhow, it's a pretty popular area.

638
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:45,000
A lot of people go there to go to the Amish restaurants that are there because, man, they have some crazy good food there, like the fried chicken.

639
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:49,000
You ever tried to fry chicken at one of the places there?

640
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:50,000
No, not up there.

641
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:51,000
Not in Jamesport.

642
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:52,000
Okay.

643
00:45:52,000 --> 00:46:03,000
Oh, there's one in Choctaw or Chata—Chata, I think, is a—it looks like Chateau or Choteau or something like that.

644
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:05,000
Oklahoma—what is it called?

645
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:09,000
The Dutch skillet or the Dutch pantry or something like that.

646
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:11,000
Oh, my God, the chicken there.

647
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:18,000
It's right off 69 Highway, and it's over there kind of near the Grand Lakes, but over on the other side.

648
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:19,000
Yeah.

649
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:29,000
On the west side of Grand Lakes, where 69 goes through there, you know, underneath the I-44 corridor and down to the south, I don't know, maybe 20 miles or so.

650
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:33,000
And I think it's pronounced Chata, Oklahoma or something like that.

651
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:36,000
And there's a really kick-ass Amish restaurant there.

652
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:37,000
Oh, Chata, Choteau?

653
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:39,000
Yeah, it's spelled like Choteau.

654
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:42,000
Is it pronounced like Choteau?

655
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:44,000
I always thought it was pronounced different.

656
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:46,000
I don't know. Does it spell like it? I don't know.

657
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:48,000
It's spelled like Choteau.

658
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:50,000
I don't have it in Germany, sir.

659
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:51,000
Oh, well, you know what?

660
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:53,000
If it's spelled like Choteau, then I would say Choteau.

661
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:57,000
Okay, then Choteau, Oklahoma is an Amish restaurant.

662
00:46:57,000 --> 00:46:59,000
It is so delicious, man.

663
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:02,000
Their fried chicken is like some sort of a buttermilk recipe.

664
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:04,000
Oh, it's so good, isn't it?

665
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:06,000
Their pies are—man, anyhow.

666
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:11,000
All right, we'll move on from that because, you know, there's only so much you can say.

667
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:14,000
Yeah, because I just ate dinner and you're making me hungry again.

668
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:16,000
Same here.

669
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:20,000
I had pork steak.

670
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:22,000
Oh, pork steak sounds good.

671
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,000
Oh, it was good.

672
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:29,000
I had a salad because I need to cut back for the next eight or nine days

673
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:33,000
because the cruise is coming up and I know I'm going to be overeating on that motherfucker.

674
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:36,000
So, yep, so—

675
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:39,000
Yeah, you want to be able to fit in your Speedo.

676
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:43,000
Yes, yeah, my Leopard Striped Speedo, of course.

677
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:44,000
Yes, yeah.

678
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:48,000
So be tuned into our Facebook Two Douchebags and Microphone page

679
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:55,000
for my Leopard Skin Speedo that will be shown there.

680
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:58,000
What do you think?

681
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:01,000
Well, yeah, how many followers we have?

682
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:03,000
Forget it now, they just all unsubscribe.

683
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:05,000
Oh, what if you? What if you?

684
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:08,000
They unsubscribe now. It's done.

685
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:12,000
Like, I don't want to see that shit.

686
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:14,000
Well, some of them know you, Mark.

687
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:15,000
Yeah, this is true.

688
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:16,000
This is true.

689
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:17,000
This is true.

690
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:18,000
Okay, I'm a light-headed.

691
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,000
Did we take our second break yet or not?

692
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:22,000
No, we have not.

693
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:24,000
Okay, let's take our second break and come back with some more shit.

694
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:25,000
That sound good?

695
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:26,000
Yeah.

696
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:32,000
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.

697
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:36,000
If your car could travel at the speed of light,

698
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:38,000
will your headlights work?

699
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:45,000
Hm, I may never know.

700
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:49,000
Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.

701
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:52,000
Spam, with Spam Helper tonight.

702
00:48:52,000 --> 00:49:00,000
How yummy.

703
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:03,000
Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper.

704
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:06,000
It's strange insults from an alien.

705
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:08,000
Real hilarity.

706
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:11,000
May you not be able to gain an erection

707
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:13,000
without thinking about Peter Dinklage.

708
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:17,000
Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.

709
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:18,000
Great news.

710
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:23,000
William Hung's world tour has been extended.

711
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:25,000
Two douchebags and a microphone.

712
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:28,000
The audio equivalent to the meat sweats.

713
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:31,000
Brick Shit House Energy Drink.

714
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:32,000
That's right.

715
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:34,000
Brick Shit House Energy Drink.

716
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:36,000
Make men feel good at home.

717
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:38,000
Chimney balls.

718
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:39,000
You want to fuck shit up?

719
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:41,000
You want to force gun across America?

720
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:44,000
Brick Shit House is for you.

721
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:46,000
Please enjoy Brick Shit House Energy Drink responsibly.

722
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:49,000
It's not readily available anywhere.

723
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:51,000
Because of liability issues.

724
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:54,000
Hey look, I think we found land.

725
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:56,000
Oh my god, I think we're safe.

726
00:49:56,000 --> 00:49:58,000
Oh no.

727
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:03,000
It's the island of horrible jokes.

728
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:11,000
Why do golfers take an extra pair of socks with them when they golf?

729
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:15,000
In case they get a hole in one.

730
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:35,000
Music.

731
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:36,000
Two douchebags and microphone.

732
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:38,000
I'm Mark.

733
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:40,000
And I am Rob.

734
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:43,000
Alright, I got an interesting...

735
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:45,000
This was on TikTok.

736
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:49,000
And it garnered a lot of views because it was funny.

737
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:55,000
Buffalo Bills fans, if you're looking for someone to blame for the Tyler Bass kick that went wide right.

738
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:59,000
And doomed your team to another playoff loss to the Kansas City Chiefs.

739
00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:01,000
Don't aim your sights at the kicker.

740
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:06,000
No, instead you have to blame a Chiefs die hard with a standing fan.

741
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:10,000
As you'll see in the video below is what it says because there was a video there.

742
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:16,000
A dude literally took out a fan and started blowing the air from the left of his television.

743
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:18,000
With people in the house watching.

744
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:22,000
And sure enough Bass's kick flew wide right of the goal post.

745
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:28,000
It's really funny because the guy, as soon as the guy, Tyler Bass is getting ready to kick the ball.

746
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:34,000
He grabs a standing fan and he put it on the side of the TV.

747
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:40,000
Making it look like he was creating air to knock the ball wide right.

748
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:46,000
And sure enough the ball goes wide right and the whole fucking...the whole house erupts.

749
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:50,000
It's just funny because it looks like it really happened because of how smooth he was doing it.

750
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:52,000
He's just like, oh I want to watch this.

751
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:55,000
Then he turns on the fan and then it goes wide right.

752
00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:57,000
And that's been getting a lot of views.

753
00:51:57,000 --> 00:52:02,000
And then in a related story, it seems as though the Bills mafia gets a little butt hurt.

754
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:06,000
When you continually kick the living shit out of their team at playoff time.

755
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:12,000
The little bitches like to throw snowballs at Chiefs players and Patrick Mahomes in particular.

756
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:16,000
Well Bills mafia, you have six months to work on your snowball game.

757
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:18,000
Use it wisely.

758
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:21,000
You'll be needing it against next year.

759
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:26,000
Oh wait, unless the refs don't steal the home game away from Kansas City again.

760
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:33,000
I got a feeling we have an ass-palling tournament over that one.

761
00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:35,000
Ooh, hang on.

762
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:36,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

763
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:37,000
Oh you hadn't even thought it?

764
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:39,000
I figured you already thought about that.

765
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:41,000
I figured you had it rolled out.

766
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:42,000
I'm off my game today dude.

767
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:44,000
I'm telling you.

768
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:46,000
I'm okay.

769
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:50,000
Bills mafia, great call.

770
00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:57,000
Throwing snowballs.

771
00:52:57,000 --> 00:52:59,000
Okay, there we go.

772
00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:01,000
That, Rob, thank you.

773
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:03,000
How in the hell could I have missed that?

774
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:04,000
You are welcome.

775
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:06,000
That's why we work so well together, brother.

776
00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:07,000
That is why.

777
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:11,000
And plus some of the stories you come up with are just fucking insane, dude.

778
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:13,000
I enjoy the hell out of them.

779
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:16,000
Actually, I have a good one about...

780
00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:17,000
Oh, go ahead.

781
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:19,000
...Everett Saler here in a few minutes.

782
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:22,000
Oh, he's wanting to become a nurse.

783
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:23,000
Get to your story.

784
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:24,000
Yeah, go ahead.

785
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:27,000
I hope I didn't steal your thunder.

786
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:30,000
Well, now, finish doing what you were doing.

787
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,000
Oh, okay.

788
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:35,000
Ozzy Osbourne has had horrible health in the last few years, right?

789
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:36,000
Right.

790
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:41,000
He's had like, I don't know, how many surgeries, like maybe eight surgeries on his back.

791
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:43,000
Something like that, yeah.

792
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:46,000
It started back in I think, 04 it was.

793
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:49,000
And it was an ATV accident.

794
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:50,000
And it was filmed live.

795
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:53,000
They had to cut, they had to literally cut the camera off.

796
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:57,000
The guy had to tell him, hey, this is serious, cut it off, cut it off.

797
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:58,000
But Ozzy was fucked up.

798
00:53:58,000 --> 00:53:59,000
He almost died.

799
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:04,000
And he had to have a series of neck and back surgeries.

800
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:08,000
And they weren't even sure if he was going to be able to walk again, but he was.

801
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:12,000
So anyhow, fast forward 2019.

802
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:13,000
He is doing good.

803
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:16,000
I mean, he's in some pain, but he's doing good.

804
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:20,000
And he's able to manage the pain enough to where he can do concerts and shows.

805
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:24,000
He's not as mobile as he used to be, but he can do them fairly well.

806
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:30,000
2019, he fell down the stairs in his Beverly Hills home and re-injured the injury.

807
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:34,000
So then, this is what Ozzy said.

808
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:40,000
And he said that like some surgeon that they went to told him, you got to have a surgery,

809
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:43,000
you got to have it now, otherwise you're going to wind up paralyzed.

810
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:49,000
And Ozzy seems to think like maybe the guy was just trying to get a surgery, a high-price surgery.

811
00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:52,000
He said that the guy fucked up his back really bad and his neck.

812
00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:56,000
And anyhow, he ended up having to have another surgery.

813
00:54:56,000 --> 00:55:03,000
And then when the surgery tally was done, there was a couple of surgeries in between there to tweak things.

814
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:12,000
And then his neck to his backbone pretty much disintegrated because of all the surgeries

815
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:14,000
and they had to put a rod in it and all this stuff.

816
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:22,000
Well, he just had this what he self-proclaimed final surgery to correct all of that.

817
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:26,000
And he said this will determine the rest of his life.

818
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:31,000
So anyhow, I think he's pretty much, he said he's never going to tour again,

819
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:34,000
but he's not opposed to doing one-off shows.

820
00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:40,000
So what he is, is he's planning to do two farewell shows in Birmingham, England,

821
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:46,000
his hometown where Black Sabbath originated, and that's going to be it for his career.

822
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:51,000
Unless he puts out another album, but he's not sure if he's going to put out another album.

823
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:58,000
But he said that he's planning two shows and they're probably going to come up here, I don't know, in maybe a year or so.

824
00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:05,000
He's got to heal a little bit more, but he's doing two final shows in Birmingham, England.

825
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:14,000
And the tickets for that are probably going to be insane because this is the last time you're ever going to see Ozzy Osbourne on stage.

826
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:18,000
And this is assuming that he can do it.

827
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:24,000
The guy is 75 years old and he is fucked up from all these surgeries.

828
00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:33,000
Now, if he can do it, for people that care like me, it might be worth it to go see him if you have the money.

829
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:35,000
If you don't, then he's fucked up.

830
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:41,000
And if you remember, they just moved back to England, so he's not even going to be traveling.

831
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:45,000
No, no, no, no, no, no. He's going to just...

832
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:47,000
In other words, he can't travel anymore.

833
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:51,000
No, he's just going to get in a car and they're going to take him there and he's going to get on stage.

834
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:52,000
Yeah.

835
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:57,000
And yeah, interesting. I hope this though.

836
00:56:57,000 --> 00:57:01,000
You know how Kiss did the pay-per-view, their final show?

837
00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:02,000
Yeah.

838
00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:05,000
I hope Ozzy does that if he gets to do these two final shows.

839
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:09,000
I hope they offer pay-per-view to everybody.

840
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:14,000
So fans like me, the big great fans of him all their life, who just adore him.

841
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:19,000
Oh, God. He's been a major part of our lives, Mark.

842
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:22,000
Yeah, yeah. I would love the opportunity.

843
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:24,000
I know mine and your lives.

844
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:26,000
Yeah. Oh, everybody I know.

845
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:28,000
I'm sure a lot of our listeners.

846
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:33,000
Even people who don't even listen to that kind of music have a respect for him.

847
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:41,000
I mean, come on. How many NFL stadiums around the country plays crazy train?

848
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:45,000
Oh, God, about all of them now. It's funny how that's accepted now.

849
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:49,000
It used to be like, oh, my God, you can't play that heavy metal fringe stuff.

850
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:53,000
No way. Now it's common.

851
00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:55,000
Now you hear crazy train.

852
00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:57,000
Yeah, yeah, it's common.

853
00:57:57,000 --> 00:58:02,000
So yeah, it's almost kind of depressing when you hear crazy train on Musac.

854
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:07,000
It's like, I don't know if I ever wanted it to go this far.

855
00:58:07,000 --> 00:58:11,000
You know, something's got to be sacred.

856
00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:15,000
So anyhow, I hope he gets to do these shows.

857
00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:17,000
I hope they're on pay per view.

858
00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:21,000
And yes, I will be a subscriber to those two shows.

859
00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:23,000
And anyhow, we turned to Rob.

860
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:26,000
Rob's got some sort of a story he's chomping at the bit for us.

861
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:29,000
So Rob, go right on ahead.

862
00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:32,000
Yeah, and this came off USA Today.

863
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:33,000
All right.

864
00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:41,000
And this is about our guy Clyde Edwards Haller from the Kansas City Chiefs.

865
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:43,000
Really good guy, Haller.

866
00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:45,000
Do you know the story about his name?

867
00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:47,000
Yeah, yeah.

868
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:51,000
And you'll understand that.

869
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:53,000
Oh, oh, oh, OK.

870
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:56,000
This isn't the story I thought you were going to talk about.

871
00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:57,000
Go ahead.

872
00:58:57,000 --> 00:59:00,000
No, no, it is the story you were thinking of.

873
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:01,000
OK.

874
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:07,000
Well, if it doesn't go into it, I'll explain the name thing afterwards.

875
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:10,000
No, no, this has nothing to do with names.

876
00:59:10,000 --> 00:59:13,000
OK, well, go ahead with your story and I'll tell you the story.

877
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:16,000
All right.

878
00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:28,000
Former LSU running back Clyde Edwards Haller is currently chasing another Super Bowl ring with the Kansas City Chiefs.

879
00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:35,000
While that is going on, there's another thing Edwards Haller is focusing on.

880
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:43,000
Clyde has revealed that he is working towards a nursing degree off the field.

881
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:49,000
Some things are bigger than football, and this would classify as bigger than football.

882
00:59:49,000 --> 01:00:01,000
Edwards Haller knows that one day his football career will end and he is trying to prepare his life for after football.

883
01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:12,000
It's kind of enjoyable because it kind of feels like college, Edwards Haller said, per on three.

884
01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:19,000
It's one of those things where there's nothing to really do out here. It's always snowing.

885
01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:26,000
So I'm not doing anything else but leaving work and then going to school stuff.

886
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:36,000
Shout out to my fiance. She kind of helping me with the scheduling ordeal and all that's been added.

887
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:46,000
In the future, if any of you all need some shots or IVs or anything, holler at your boy.

888
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:48,000
That's a pretty good little article.

889
01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:54,000
I knew he was a good guy because one of the first things I read about Allaire is, and this is my story about him,

890
01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:59,000
the reason he has a hyphenated name like that is Edwards and Allaire.

891
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:08,000
Edwards is the last name of his real dad and Allaire is the last name of his stepdad who raised him and he loves like a father.

892
01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:15,000
So to honor him and his father both, he went with both names, Clyde Edwards Haller.

893
01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:18,000
I could have done that. I could have done that.

894
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:24,000
Really? Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead if you want to. I remember you telling me about that.

895
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:30,000
Well, no, I had my biological dad that got killed. Yeah, he was murdered.

896
01:01:30,000 --> 01:01:37,000
And then I had my stepdad that buried my mom when I was three and he's the one that raised me.

897
01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:40,000
I mean, even my dad up to the day he died.

898
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:45,000
I got a question and hopefully this isn't too personal. If it is, I'll clip it out of this show.

899
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:49,000
How old were you when your dad was murdered?

900
01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:52,000
How old was I? Yeah.

901
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:57,000
Ninety-four, so I was twenty-five.

902
01:01:57,000 --> 01:02:00,000
Oh, OK. Yeah, I guess it was like that.

903
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:07,000
No, I know. I hadn't even seen my dad since my third birthday.

904
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:12,000
Wow. And he was murdered by a fourteen-year-old, right?

905
01:02:12,000 --> 01:02:17,000
Close enough. Yeah, six miles away from my house in a liquor store.

906
01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:19,000
He owned a liquor store.

907
01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:25,000
I went to buy a liquor as a minor. I used to buy liquor from my own biological father.

908
01:02:25,000 --> 01:02:29,000
He just never told me because they didn't do that shit back then.

909
01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:34,000
Rob, I used to go there and talk to the guy and I bought liquor from him all the time.

910
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:37,000
I had no idea he was your real dad.

911
01:02:37,000 --> 01:02:40,000
The bigger dude with the beard? Yeah, yeah.

912
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:44,000
That was my biological dad. Yeah, Ron. He was a cool guy.

913
01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:48,000
Ron was my biological dad.

914
01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:51,000
I had no freaking idea.

915
01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:56,000
That's a tab bar. Neither did I until the night he died.

916
01:02:56,000 --> 01:02:59,000
Oh, shit. OK.

917
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:03,000
All right, now that's a little twist on there I didn't know.

918
01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:08,000
OK. Yeah, there's a big twist there, dude.

919
01:03:08,000 --> 01:03:13,000
OK, well. Where I was at when I found out everything.

920
01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:21,000
Wow. And then from what I understand, the fucker that killed him got out in like a year or something, didn't he?

921
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:26,000
No, he was, let's see, when it happened he was 13.

922
01:03:26,000 --> 01:03:32,000
He did juvie time, got out the day he was 18.

923
01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:36,000
And then a few years later he fucked up again.

924
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:38,000
He murdered someone else, I thought. Yeah.

925
01:03:38,000 --> 01:03:40,000
And the rest of his life.

926
01:03:40,000 --> 01:03:43,000
Well, that'd be a good place for someone like that.

927
01:03:43,000 --> 01:03:52,000
But his total agreement, he was not by himself that day.

928
01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:56,000
So whoever was with him didn't get charged?

929
01:03:56,000 --> 01:03:59,000
Well, yeah, exactly.

930
01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:04,000
And this is only information that only family had.

931
01:04:04,000 --> 01:04:07,000
And this is what was told to me.

932
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:10,000
But they never did find out?

933
01:04:10,000 --> 01:04:17,000
The police department was that this 13 year old got another family.

934
01:04:17,000 --> 01:04:19,000
OK, all right, Rob.

935
01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:24,000
I still kind of keep an eye out after my little brother, my baby brother.

936
01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:25,000
That's cool.

937
01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:29,000
Who happened to be like two or three at the time.

938
01:04:29,000 --> 01:04:34,000
And his life was totally fucked up.

939
01:04:34,000 --> 01:04:37,000
That's too bad.

940
01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:43,000
Let's go into completely different here and end this podcast on a high note.

941
01:04:43,000 --> 01:04:44,000
OK, Rob?

942
01:04:44,000 --> 01:04:50,000
The most ordered top brunch foods of 2023.

943
01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:52,000
Sounds good.

944
01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:53,000
All right.

945
01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:55,000
First one was omelets.

946
01:04:55,000 --> 01:05:02,000
Omelets took number one, slightly over number two, eggs benedict.

947
01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:08,000
After omelets and eggs benedict, number three was French toast.

948
01:05:08,000 --> 01:05:12,000
All these sound about right, don't they?

949
01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:17,000
Yeah, I would definitely have the omelet over the eggs benedict.

950
01:05:17,000 --> 01:05:19,000
I would too.

951
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:24,000
I'd have the French toast in front of eggs benedict, but that's just me.

952
01:05:24,000 --> 01:05:26,000
And then number four was steak and eggs.

953
01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:30,000
And actually, I think I would go omelets, steak and eggs.

954
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:34,000
OK, now I don't even know if eggs benedict even be on the menu.

955
01:05:34,000 --> 01:05:36,000
OK, right now I'm taking eggs benedict.

956
01:05:36,000 --> 01:05:38,000
I haven't even heard number five yet.

957
01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:40,000
OK, number five is pancakes.

958
01:05:40,000 --> 01:05:41,000
You know what?

959
01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:44,000
Let's go ahead and just scratch out eggs benedict on the list.

960
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:45,000
Yeah, eggs benedict.

961
01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:47,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's gone.

962
01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:53,000
Number six would be hash browns.

963
01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:54,000
Yeah?

964
01:05:54,000 --> 01:05:55,000
Yeah.

965
01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:56,000
Right up here.

966
01:05:56,000 --> 01:06:03,000
I think hash browns deserve to be up a little ways too because, I mean, can you eat an omelet without hash browns?

967
01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:08,000
I don't know if it's possible.

968
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:10,000
I don't like to hear mine.

969
01:06:10,000 --> 01:06:15,000
Next one, a breakfast burrito.

970
01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:21,000
A breakfast burrito to me might be right after steak and eggs and number three.

971
01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:25,000
Omelets, breakfast burrito, and then a steak and eggs.

972
01:06:25,000 --> 01:06:28,000
And then a hash toast and pancakes and all that stuff.

973
01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:34,000
The next one would be a breakfast bowl.

974
01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:35,000
OK.

975
01:06:35,000 --> 01:06:38,000
Next one after that would be oatmeal.

976
01:06:38,000 --> 01:06:41,000
I'm surprised oatmeal wasn't further up on the list.

977
01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:42,000
Are you serious?

978
01:06:42,000 --> 01:06:44,000
Yeah.

979
01:06:44,000 --> 01:06:49,000
Don't you think, I mean, I like oatmeal, but I'm not that huge a fan of it.

980
01:06:49,000 --> 01:06:52,000
I would be able to hear my breakfast.

981
01:06:52,000 --> 01:06:55,000
OK. The next one is muffins.

982
01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:58,000
And then the last one that made the list was tarts.

983
01:06:58,000 --> 01:07:00,000
What's your list?

984
01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:02,000
What's yours?

985
01:07:02,000 --> 01:07:05,000
Where the hell is biscuits and gravy?

986
01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:06,000
Oh my God.

987
01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:08,000
That was off of here.

988
01:07:08,000 --> 01:07:10,000
It wasn't even on there.

989
01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:12,000
No, it was.

990
01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:15,000
Are you sure you didn't misread that?

991
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:18,000
It was biscuits and gravy and not eggs and pancakes?

992
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:20,000
It was a printout.

993
01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:21,000
Because it was up there.

994
01:07:21,000 --> 01:07:23,000
It was a printout.

995
01:07:23,000 --> 01:07:26,000
That should have been where biscuits and gravy should have been.

996
01:07:26,000 --> 01:07:29,000
I mean, hell, that's an American favorite.

997
01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:30,000
Yeah, it is.

998
01:07:30,000 --> 01:07:32,000
Let me look again.

999
01:07:32,000 --> 01:07:37,000
No, I printed the story out.

1000
01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:40,000
Oh, shit. I know what it is.

1001
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:42,000
What?

1002
01:07:42,000 --> 01:07:45,000
They asked millennials and Gen Zers.

1003
01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:46,000
That's probably it right there.

1004
01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:49,000
They have no idea what biscuits and gravy is.

1005
01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:51,000
Oh no, my son does.

1006
01:07:51,000 --> 01:07:53,000
Hell, we had it last night for dinner.

1007
01:07:53,000 --> 01:07:55,000
Well, yours does, but I'll bet you most of them don't.

1008
01:07:55,000 --> 01:07:56,000
Yeah.

1009
01:07:56,000 --> 01:07:58,000
Wow, I never even thought about that, Rob.

1010
01:07:58,000 --> 01:08:01,000
Biscuits and gravy being left out.

1011
01:08:01,000 --> 01:08:03,000
Hey, I'll tell you what.

1012
01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:07,000
I'm going to look for another list of top brunch foods, but not 2023.

1013
01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:10,000
I'll go 2021 and see what's on there.

1014
01:08:10,000 --> 01:08:12,000
All right.

1015
01:08:12,000 --> 01:08:13,000
All right.

1016
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:15,000
Okay, everybody, thank you for listening.

1017
01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:16,000
Okay.

1018
01:08:16,000 --> 01:08:21,000
Okay, everybody, next podcast.

1019
01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:28,000
Mark and I both have our top 15 classic rock songs.

1020
01:08:28,000 --> 01:08:30,000
Yes.

1021
01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:32,000
We just don't have them put in order yet.

1022
01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:36,000
That's funny that we have the songs we don't have them put in order, both of us.

1023
01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:37,000
That's the same with me.

1024
01:08:37,000 --> 01:08:42,000
I jot them all down periodically when I would think of one, and then I was like,

1025
01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:46,000
I don't know what order to put them in, so they're just all scrambled right now.

1026
01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:47,000
But I got an idea.

1027
01:08:47,000 --> 01:08:50,000
Yeah, I got mine jotted down.

1028
01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:51,000
I just haven't had time.

1029
01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:54,000
I had a busy evening tonight.

1030
01:08:54,000 --> 01:08:56,000
And I've had a very expensive dinner.

1031
01:08:56,000 --> 01:09:00,000
Well, yesterday I was sick, and today I'm like really lightheaded.

1032
01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:01,000
Right, right.

1033
01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:02,000
And I'll forgive you for that.

1034
01:09:02,000 --> 01:09:03,000
Oh, thank you.

1035
01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:08,000
Well, I'm probably lightheaded because I was sick yesterday, or at least I'm going with that.

1036
01:09:08,000 --> 01:09:10,000
So anyhow, I will get all of that straight.

1037
01:09:10,000 --> 01:09:13,000
You do offer sick times.

1038
01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:15,000
Yeah, you know what, you're right.

1039
01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:17,000
Yes, yes.

1040
01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:20,000
I mean, it's the least I could do for you working for free, right?

1041
01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:23,000
Equal opportunity employers.

1042
01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:24,000
That's right.

1043
01:09:24,000 --> 01:09:29,000
We watch what we're doing in here, two douchebags and a microphone.

1044
01:09:29,000 --> 01:09:31,000
All right, everybody, thank you for listening.

1045
01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:33,000
Have a great night.

1046
01:09:33,000 --> 01:09:42,000
Good night, everybody.

1047
01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:47,000
I'm coming for you.

1048
01:09:47,000 --> 01:09:49,000
Hey, where did everybody go?

1049
01:09:49,000 --> 01:09:52,000
Where are the douchebags?

1050
01:09:52,000 --> 01:09:55,000
Oh my God, someone took a dump in the corner.

1051
01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:57,000
Oh geez.

1052
01:09:57,000 --> 01:09:58,000
Glad they're gone.

1053
01:09:58,000 --> 01:10:01,000
Let's just hope they don't come back.

1054
01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:03,000
Man, that smells.