Live from the historic river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the crystal blue waters of the Missouri River, it's Two Douchebags and a Microphone Podcast.
And now it's time for the Daily Douchebag Pledge.
Two Douchebags and a Microphone Pledge, I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to download every show.
I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to grab family members phones and download the show from there.
I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to go to public computers and download the show from there.
I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to laugh at all the unfunny jokes.
I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to lie to all my friends and tell them how good the show is.
And finally, I, Joe, or Jane listener, promise to visit Montrose, Missouri, to take advantage of the power plant, campgrounds, and junkyard all within its quarter mile radius.
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This clever machine has three distinct settings. Bablin Brooks, ocean waves, and roaring river for those close call.
Order today and get a free Cinnabon Renews It Cartridge.
Two thimble dicks and a crash cart will be right back.
Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.
Hurry up. Kim Jong Un is playing Santa at the mall again this year. Yay!
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
You're as useful as a car light with holes.
Hello. This is Satan. You might know me from my pet name, Inflation.
I'm here to tell you that there's no better way to relax than listening to two douchebags in microphone by a nice warm fire at night.
I sit there and reflect on all the souls I burned that day. Enjoy.
Two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark. And I am Rob.
Welcome everybody. Thank you for joining us today. We've got some cool shit coming up.
Actually, this is kind of a special episode. Normally we don't podcast on Monday nights, but here we are out of our boredom. You're welcome.
Well, thanks to my disturbed work schedule, I had to go in at four this morning and the roads were all icy and that was a lot of fun.
But I made it there and when I was off at 12.30 in the afternoon, it was well worth it because all the ice was melted and I got to tool on home and take a long nap. It feels pretty damn good right now.
Yeah, we've been under a sea of ice ever since I woke up this morning.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's weather. Yeah. Like Mark Twain said, we were just talking about off air was if you don't like the weather, give us five minutes.
Yeah, that's Missouri. Welcome to Missouri. Yep. So we can't start off without talking about our beloved Chiefs and their huge victory over the Buffalo Bills in Buffalo at Orchard Park Stadium.
Yes. It appears that the Bills Mafia was being quite on reenthroned snowballs at the Chiefs players. I've seen that. You know the ones that they showed crying on air?
Well, half an hour prior to that, they were beating our guys with snowballs. So, boy, how quick did that get?
Yeah, I've seen a video of Patrick Mahomes running off the field dodging snowballs.
How quickly it changes when you get your ass handed to you. You know, there they are all tough and everything.
Yeah, come to our house. Come on, man. We can't wait to kick your ass in our house. It's always been in your house.
And then they start those snowballs at us and being complete dick wipes. And then the ending was very familiar. Them going home and us going on.
So, you know, I feel bad for Josh Allen. I think Josh Allen is a pretty good guy.
Yes, yes. I do too. He needs to let his contract run out so he can go to the NFC so he can play in the Super Bowl.
Because he doesn't appear to be able to do it with Patrick Mahomes having to face him every year.
So, he'll have to Tom Brady it and hook it to the NFC and then meet us in the Super Bowl that way.
So, anyhow, Bills, you know, I was feeling kind of bad for you guys.
But then I've seen some of the obnoxious behavior and I don't think I feel bad.
I think you guys got a long off season to think about it. Work on a little self-improvement, right?
Yeah, think about what you can do better in life and what you can do to thank us Chiefs for being so good.
I would like an essay from every Bills Mafia fan. I would like an essay, 200 words or more, about what you can do to help the Chiefs day out.
Don't you agree?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, so we'll...
Now we just have to worry about going into the ballpark.
Yeah, that's not going to be an easy task and we very well could lose it.
Well, this is what I've said ever since we've been the defending champs, i.e. right after the Super Bowl you are the defending champs.
We are the champs for right now. We very easily as of next weekend could be a thing in the past as of February 11th in the evening.
But, anyhow, you can't win it every year. If you win it every year...
Tom Brady would have won it every year if you could win it every year.
Yeah, he had back to back, yes. And the Chiefs went to the Super Bowl back to back, but they lost one of them.
And then they waited a year, let Cincinnati go lose, and then they came back and won it again.
So I consider this a pretty good run. Yes, I would like more, but if they don't make it in the championship game, I'm not going to be crushed.
Because we're going to be there again, and we're going to be there again.
At least they made it to the championship game.
Yes, I consider this a successful season from here on out, and especially with all the criticism they've been getting. Even me. I was all over Travis Kelce.
Yeah, I was doubting them too, the way they were playing there for a few weeks.
I officially throw out an apology as of right now.
Oh, you too?
So anyhow, I think they do want to win another one, and they're acting like they want to win another one. And congratulate you Chiefs.
And Bills fans, you've got a few months to think about it.
Like I said, do a little self-improvement. Pick yourself up. Look in the mirror and say, what can I do to serve Chiefs Nation better?
What can I do to be a better person to Chiefs Nation? Or Chiefs Kingdom?
Okay, we shall move on.
Alright.
Okay, Burger King could not pass up National Croissant Day.
As on January 30th is National Croissant Day, Burger King is offering a one-cent croissant, which with any order of a dollar or more on its app or website.
And getting your sandwich is just for just one cent. As long as you order ahead of time, you can still pick up your order at the restaurant and will not end. It will be hot and ready for you to arrive, as in Burger King's words.
So, I think that deserves a mention. Who would not want a one-cent croissant, which right?
Yeah.
Yeah. They're pretty damn tasty. They're one of my favorite things from Burger King. That's if you have a good Burger King.
You know, there's a lot of them that in my opinion are not edible, so.
Anyhow.
So, if you, you know, it would be a good time to go get a croissant, which if you've never tried one, it would be a good time to try one. Because if you don't like it, you're only out one cent, right Rob?
Right.
Alright. There is a new thing going on, Rob. You ever hear of powdered caffeine?
No, I have not.
The closest I've ever heard to this was a product that I don't think they sell anymore and it was called Fene.
F-E-I-N-E. It was in little packets.
And you could buy it only through web order as far as I know.
And you could mix it in your drink and, you know, to add caffeine to it. So you could have a lemonade and you could tear open a packet of Fene, throw it in there, stir it around, and you could have a caffeinated lemonade.
You could have caffeinated water, but I didn't like the way it made the water taste when I threw that stuff in there.
And that's the closest I've ever heard to there actually being a powdered caffeine.
So anyhow, it's a new trend that is not very good for you, obviously.
The easy availability and popularity of a powdered caffeine product is raising new concerns that the stimulant may be life threatening.
Logan Steiner, an 18 year old star high school wrestler in LaGrange, Ohio, died from a caffeine powder overdose in May of 2014.
Wow, that was pretty long ago.
According to the local medical examiner, as reported by O'Ria Chronicle Telegram, his overdose death from such a commonly used product as caffeine prompted a warning from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.
Consumers should avoid using pure powdered caffeine products for any reason because they could be dangerous, even deadly.
After Steiner's death, the FDA said in an email that they are awaiting a final report from the coroner to confirm the amount of caffeine found in the bloodstream.
And they say that may take further action to protect consumers.
I know this happened in 2014, but I guess the powdered caffeine thing is on the rise.
Younger adults are starting to take it and they're worried that it's going to lead to more deaths.
And I am in no way saying that Fene would do anything like it.
All I said about Fene was it was kind of a powdered caffeine substance, but I think it had other things in it too.
And there is no actual evidence that Fene will do anything bad to you at all.
But I was just telling you about the closest thing that I knew that I could ever do.
So anyhow, unfortunately FDA warning about toxic caffeine overdoses may get lost among online marketing pitches and powdered caffeine.
This form of caffeine is legal and easy to buy in bulk.
As one manufacturer touts it, caffeine is the oldest and best known stimulant in the world.
You can buy it for $15 per pound from a number of online companies.
It's true the makers of powdered caffeine products often note the danger of abuse and caution customers not to inhale the powder.
But the allure of a legal cheap stimulant may be particularly attractive to young people and the promise of booster and athletic performance and improving mood.
But the price can be high for your heart is what the FDA is saying.
So that was an interesting little article.
Well I credit that local news station KCTV5 had a new snippet on it and I jotted it down and said you know I'm going to investigate this a little further.
So that's what I got.
And anyhow Rob you got something you want to go to.
Yeah, see how we're on food and drinks and stuff.
Sure.
I ran across another little article of KHMO AM1070.
Oh cool.
I'm like an ace.
I am too.
These are five great restaurants you'll likely see less of in Missouri in 2024.
Okay.
There's an interesting article from investing dot com about brands that have a shrinking footprint on the restaurant landscape for different reasons.
They estimate that you'll begin to see less of these locations in Missouri this year.
First up, the investing article says in the U.S. there are nearly 6,610 Pizza Hut locations.
But Pizza Hut plans to bring this number down drastically that began to become reality in 2023.
Pizza Hut reportedly shuttered 300 stores.
Wow.
I know of a lot of Pizza Hut's that have shut down have you?
Yeah, ours is still up and running though.
Okay.
But they have limited menu.
They have for a long time.
It's weird.
Ever since COVID a lot of the Pizza Hut's and other places like that haven't brought back their full menu.
Right.
Yeah.
Okay, next. The report says that IHOP made news announcing they would be closing 30 to 40 restaurant branches.
Last time I checked, IHOP had 20 Missouri locations. That number now could shrink.
It's interesting about IHOP Rob because they actually had a resurgent about maybe 10 years ago.
They were owned by the Applebee's Corporation.
I forgot the name of the, it was an actual corporation that handled a bunch that had a bunch of restaurants grouped together.
And one of their main offices was out of Kansas City on Ward Parkway over near the Ward Parkway Mall.
And anyhow, the lady took over the Applebee's Corporation and all that.
She brought back IHOP to more of a prominent foothold on the market.
Newer ones opened up.
She expanded the menu and it was doing really well.
So I wonder what happened.
And the same thing with Applebee's. Applebee's seem to be going away too.
And that may be on your list. I don't know.
But go ahead Rob.
Okay, next.
FUD Rockers reportedly went through bankruptcy in 2010 and the parent company liquidated assets a couple years ago.
I can only find one FUD Rockers in Missouri now and that's in Branson.
Wow. Well, FUD Rockers I know was in Oklahoma as in maybe five, six years ago.
I was there working.
And I remember there was a FUD Rockers right next to the hotel.
So I know there's one there but we don't have any around Kansas City anymore. I know that.
Yeah, well this report is from Missouri.
And I don't know.
Only one they can find in Branson. I don't know.
There is one on Branson and it's on 76 Highway.
Or at least it was as of last year.
I didn't know if it was still there or not.
As of last year I believe I saw it. I think I did. I remember looking at it and going, oh wow, they're still there?
Okay. I mean even the Olive Garden is still there on 76 Highway.
With all the specialty restaurants and you know, and the Mama's Fried Chicken outfits and the Chicken Fried Steak with Gravy's and all that.
There's still an Olive Garden there on the main drag of 76. I found that interesting.
Anyhow Rob, go ahead.
Okay, next up, the article mentions Burger King.
Mmhmm.
I'm questioning if this will play out in 2024.
Yes, the article is right when it says the Burger King announced that it would be closing 200 to 250 underperforming restaurants a few years ago.
But this year Burger King announced big expansion plans.
That is so weird how they can be like closing stores but then expanding. I mean I don't understand.
Yes, yes.
The only thing I can think of is they're taking them away from bad areas and putting in new stores in good areas. I believe that's what's going on.
That could be. They're taking the money that they save in these stores that aren't doing very well and putting it into the payments.
Yes, or starting ones and upcoming.
Hopefully better quality food, you know, something.
Well the Burger King that I like to go to is over in Johnson County which is a pretty affluent area in South Overland Park which is generally very affluent.
And that Burger King is fine. You go the one off of Red Bridge over not real far from where I live but it's not nearly as good of an area over there.
Okay, yeah.
It's really dicey. So Burger Kings generally, I mean to me they're hit and miss so much that I have my one that I go to and I really don't vary from that.
If I can't get to that one over in Johnson County I don't go to another one. So anyhow, so go ahead Rob.
Okay and finally, what a downfall. Quiznos had almost 5,000 locations years ago.
The sub place.
And that's now down to around 165. I can only find two in Missouri. Let's see if they survive 2024.
I'm going to say no because you don't see any advertisement. I thought they were gone. As a matter of fact I forgot all about them.
I mean they started coming out and they were kind of like a deli version of Subway.
Yeah, yeah.
And I thought they were pretty decent for what they did.
But I did too.
I don't know. They just didn't hit for some reason. And anyhow, I just didn't think they were around anymore because I haven't seen Quiznos in 12, 15 years maybe.
I think Mr. Goodsense gave them a run for their money too I believe. They come out around the same time.
They did. They did. And I believe they could have been one of the reasons that the Quiznos didn't do so well.
Because Mr. Goodsense started offering pastas and salads and stuff like that where I don't believe Quiznos did.
So that might have taken a few more people to go to Mr. Goodsense.
But the thing about Mr. Goodsense is this right here. They're disappearing too.
There's not nearly as many of them around anymore either.
I'm sure. I'm sure.
Yeah. So. Yeah. Even it doesn't seem like. I'm thinking maybe the Subway sandwich craze or the submarine sandwich craze may be kind of cooling off.
Because there's not as many Subways either. I've seen a few of them go out of business too.
The only one that seems to be up and coming and doing really well is Firehouse.
Yeah. That one's coming off.
Yeah. Firehouse is really good. Firehouse is my favorite of all the Subplaces.
They have a pretty quality product. And when you go there you know what you're going to get. It doesn't really vary that much on the help.
So anyhow. It seems like a lot of these other ones have went away.
So is that the final one?
Yeah. That was it on that article.
Yeah. That brought back a little bit of memories there of some of the stuff they're talking about like Quiznos.
Yes it did.
And Fuddruckers.
Yes. Yep. Fuddruckers. Did you used to go there at all Rob?
Back in the day I went a few times.
I thought they were really good. They had so many different burgers. And they were very inexpensive.
I mean to me you got a really good value for what you got.
And I don't know. They just didn't seem to hit that well.
So anyhow. How about if we take our first break Rob? And I'm going to come back with some emails.
Sounds good.
Alright. Cool. There's one aimed at you I think you'll like.
Alright. We'll be right back guys. We'll talk to you guys in a minute.
The apocalypse just happened. You don't know what to do. You don't know where to go. But we can tell you what you can eat.
Dandelion can be stewed with wild mustard and garlic for a very tasty stew.
You could even introduce our old friend the hickory nut for a bit of smoky flavor.
Hey look. I think we found land. Oh my god I think we're safe.
Oh no. It's the island of horrible jokes.
I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
Now from this underground bunker camped in Missouri.
Stalked full of dried guts, canned food, and a couple of vibrating toys.
And some ravelling of a mad man featuring Rob Rad.
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. That needs to happen.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. Its strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
You have the personality of a soggy newspaper.
No batlight here. These idiots just show up and hope for the best.
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.
So let me see. Let's say I was offended by people being offended.
Then would people being offended all the time have to not be offended around me?
Because I was offended by them being offended?
Hmm. I may never know.
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.
Hmm. Let's see. If I identify as a dog and I start wandering around the block without a collar on.
Could animal control come by and pick me up?
Hmm. I may never know.
Alright. Two douchebags and microphone on Mark.
And I'm right.
Okay. Like I said, we got some emails. So I'm going to go ahead and go into them. There's some pretty good ones.
We're not getting as many emails as we were.
I don't know if it's because I didn't get around to answering them quick enough or whatever.
But I'll give you the ones that we have.
So anyhow, the first one I got is Rob. I just bought the new Rob Ratt calendar. I love it.
Anyway, I could get it signed. Willie and Montrose.
Sure. Next time I see you I'll sign it. I'll autograph it for you.
Yeah. He's coming to Montrose. So Willie, can we announce when Rob Ratt is coming to Montrose?
And I think you're going to be in your loincloth, aren't you?
It depends on the weather. It depends on the weather.
Okay. If the weather's nice enough, Rob is just going to be wearing his loincloth.
The same one that's in the picture.
Yes. Yeah. Yes. So, oh, are you going to be oiled up this time or not? Have you decided?
If it's like really hot out, yeah, I'm definitely going to have to oil up.
Okay. Well, there you go. All right. So Willie, stay tuned. Rob's coming your way.
All right. Hey, I even heard that Rob will sign ass cheeks if you give him a couple of beers.
That's just what I heard, Rob.
A couple of beers? There's a possibility. I just might. You never know.
There you go. Willie and Montrose, you want your ass cheeks signed?
Give Rob a couple of, what, yenlings maybe? Are you going to aim a little bit higher?
Do you want a craft beer? What do you think?
No, no, no, no, no. Natty White. Natty White's fine.
Oh, there you go, Willie and Montrose. For literally 50 cents.
Natty White is fine. 50 cents. You can give him two Natty Lights and he'll sign your ass cheeks.
So there. You can't beat that. You can't beat that with fucking baseball bat, guys.
So, all right, next. Mark, I am the mad farter.
I dusted you the other day when you were putting on your coat.
Which is true. This guy does work for me, Rob.
Enjoy my anal nectar, loser.
Oh, I feel sorry for him.
Oh, I'm going to catch this fuck. Oh, I'm going to catch him.
Sign the mad farter.
P.S. Next time I'm eating beef stew with veggies, almost feel bad for your nostrils.
It is war. Mad Farter, I'm going to find you.
I'm going to hunt you down. And I have a particular set of skills and I will.
Probably laugh with you. Fucking asshole.
Next one. Hey, douchebags, Des Moines here.
I found your show on a Des Moines podcast website.
You were rated four stars. It said it would have been five, but they said your sound quality lowered it.
Rob and West Des Moines.
Can you, Rob, can you send me this one? I found really interesting.
Can you send me the link to what you found us on?
I would love to know because it's doing wonders for us up there.
That might be one of the reasons we're doing so well. I'd like to know what this website is.
And as far as the sound quality goes, we're working on it, man. We're small.
We're doing this on a nothing budget and we're doing this because we find it fun.
We've always enjoyed the art of radio and this is the closest we can get.
So and we make some people happy and that's good for us.
You know, that's good with us, man. We're going to keep this going as long as there's a certain amount of people enjoying it.
We're not looking to get rich at this or maybe possibly ever making a dime, but we just enjoy doing this.
And we're glad that people like you enjoy it.
So please send me that website.
We're doing this for our joy. Yeah.
And if we can make somebody else laugh, great, man. It makes us feel good.
Yeah, yes. It's no different than we've always done, Rob.
We've always had humor. We've always made people laugh.
We've always had these stories, these legendary stories of fucking pranks and shit that we pulled.
I mean, it's just stuff we've been doing all our lives.
And the prank stories and stuff like those are true stories.
Every damn one of them are true. It is not made up, no.
It's not made up, no, because we've got a lot of people listening.
A lot of people listening.
I've even had, when me and Topher were doing the show, I've had people sending me messages on Facebook or if they have my number, texting me, saying, Hey, Mark, do you remember doing this?
Do you remember doing that?
That's how my MTV story came about, about screwing with Sam.
It was from this guy, this guy Lowell that he lived in Ruskin and he used to hang out at the mall all the time.
And him and I kept in touch on Facebook. He found me there.
And anyhow, he sent me that message going, Do you remember when you screwed with Sam, you and Davey had that MTV pass?
I'd forgotten all about that prank. And that's one of the best pranks we've ever pulled.
That thing was a work of art.
And I wouldn't have thought of it if someone didn't send me that reminder.
And then it took me a little while and I got with Davey about the whole situation.
And I said, Okay, this is what I remember happening.
And he remembered it the exact same way.
And I conferred with Lowell and Lowell was like, Yeah, he goes, Yeah, that is pretty much what happened.
I think you're dead on.
So, yeah, these are true.
We're not, we've done this shit.
So anyhow, you know, all the prank calls that I used to do to the quick trip in the old quick trip in Belvoir, the one that was right off the highway and 155th down there in that little valley.
I used to call that payphone and screw with people constantly.
And all that's true.
I mean, everyone, I mean, screwing with the the old the old guy used to work with getting on his Bluetooth when they very first came out and playing polka.
I mean, every damn one of these are true and they were a lot of fun.
So anyhow, we're gonna go ahead with emails.
Mark, any chance you start a music Internet stream with your show playing between songs?
Tony and St. Joe.
Okay, well, probably not, because I think I think you have to pay royalties even on the Internet to play music.
I'll have to look it up.
But I know there's like an after thing or at least there was for a long time.
It shut down Internet radio because after I was charging for the Internet playing on the Internet.
I think the music was the same way the music licensing.
I don't know how much it is per song or whatever.
And you're probably not going to make any money off an Internet radio station, really, unless it's like Pandora or something.
So I don't see doing that.
But I will add this, that was the very first thing I wanted to do when I very started listening to this Internet radio station.
I believe it to be one of the first ever is called Hard Radio and it played hard rock, heavy metal and some classic rock.
And I loved it because there was no commercials and it was really good songs.
I mean, they played like the B sides and stuff.
And I had a dream of kind of doing like a music station with some talk in it on the Internet.
But it never came about.
This is what came about is this right here.
So I mean, I did have that dream, but I don't think it's possible because of the, you know, you got to pay for it and everything.
And you don't really make money off of it, you know.
And like, I mean, we're losing money on this, but we're not losing so much money that we can't do it. Right.
Right.
So anyhow, next one.
Rob, check out the junkyard here in Montrose.
I believe we have your bumper and quarter panel here.
We also are naming number five camp spot, two douchebags as a tribute to you and Mark, Jerry and Montrose.
So we're going to go.
We're getting number five camping spot named after us.
Well, cool.
I got somewhere to stay when I go up there.
Hell yeah.
I mean, is it free for us?
I mean, what I mean, I think it can't be spots like 20 bucks a night or something.
Do we get it for free because we got our name on it?
Just asking.
Okay.
PS, the power plant.
I will be coming up looking for those.
All right.
We're going to be doing that live.
So save it open for us.
We know it's going to be very popular around there and people are going to be staying in it just to be around two douchebags and microphone.
You know, so anyhow, PS, the power, the power plant fishing is amazing for the glow carp.
Remember to go to the Henry County master baiter for all your fishing gear.
I will.
All right.
I've been around plenty of Henry County master baiters.
They have great fishing gear.
I used to fish that lake when I was a kid.
Did you really?
Yeah, sure.
What's this glow carp I'm hearing about?
That I don't know, but I'm willing to find out.
All right.
In a little bit, we're going to go to the new American Contemporary Urban Dictionary of America.
They have some new words for Gen Zers and Millenniums, but not for me and you, Rob, for them.
They are, as self-described, the premier place to go for the edgy slang for young adults and teenagers.
And these are the ones that they're shaking their fists at the Urban Dictionary saying, hey, those guys are outdated.
They're Gen Xers. This is the real stuff.
This is the new stuff that the younger generation needs to use.
But we'll go to that in a minute because you probably have something you want to get to, don't you?
Yeah, I got a story, too.
All right, Rob. Go for it.
Then we'll come back to what I just described.
All right.
I found this one on Ultimate Guitar.
Ultimate Guitar. That's a pretty cool one.
I love Ultimate Guitar Online Magazine. I get a lot of information from that. It's a pretty good magazine.
This is a pretty good article, man.
This is really cool.
All right.
Okay. A cancer patient recently spent his time in the operating room playing death tones and System of a Down songs.
What Christian Noel's brain was being operated on, he made sure to demonstrate that the cancerous growth on it hadn't degraded his mental faculties by playing the guitar.
The mini concert was played at the request of Nolan's neurological team at the Sylvester Comprehensive Cancer Center at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine.
They're a lot longer than that.
Yeah.
As the team told Fox News Digital to avoid doing major damage to Nolan's brain, they needed him to be awake during the procedure.
The tumor manifested on the right side of Nolan's frontal lobe and was affecting his dexterity, explained Dr. Ricardo Pomotar, the director of the Brain Tumor Program at the University of Miami.
Christian was having issues with the left side of his body, particularly his left hand. He was noticing issues with his dexterity that affected his ability to play the guitar.
Okay.
And then I'm going to jump down to Nolan's comment.
Okay.
He goes on to say, I'd only really heard of procedures of that nature being done in shows and movies.
I felt like it was such a unique experience that I couldn't pass up, especially with my motor skills being on the line.
Reportedly during surgery, Nolan attempted to play System of a Down and Deftones songs.
Cool.
I think that's a cool article, man.
That really is.
They're operating on his brain and he's playing guitar.
Very cool.
Very, very cool.
I like that story a lot.
Right on.
Thank you, Rob. That was a great story.
How about we take our second break?
I'm going to come back with the new Urban Contemporary of America words.
And I'm not even saying the website right. I'm getting tired of it.
You guys know what I said at first. What I said at first, that's their name.
Okay. So anyhow, we'll be right back with that information.
Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.
Howard Stern just signed a 10-year contract extension.
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Man, I sure wish I was the garbage man. You know what I could do if I was the garbage man?
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And then watch everybody run out of their house in their underwear with two bags of trash screaming, stop, halt.
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Two Douchebags in a Microphone on Mark.
And I am Rob.
Real quick, I just had a message sent to me over Facebook and I'd forgotten about this.
And I'll have to get with Topher to find out the exact address.
But we are featured on an internet music and variety station. It's a friend of Topher's.
And what this guy did that runs it is, he took certain bits that he liked and he just cut them up and he put them on his station with our permission.
And that might be something that the emailer might be interested in.
But I gotta confer with Topher to find out the address that you can go to and get this internet stream.
And I mean, it isn't all us and just music. It's a lot of other comedy bits and music bits and stuff like that from my understanding.
So that might be something that the guy that wrote would be interested in or maybe not.
So that's just something that could maybe help him get what he wanted.
Anyhow, like I said, yeah, yeah.
I can't remember the name of it for nothing, but it was kind of like a variety station and I think he had some music.
And we have bits on there that he cut up and put on there that he liked.
And I don't know if he's still doing it or if he's just going with the bits that he got from me and Topher. I don't know.
So anyhow, but I can probably find out.
Okay, this is the new words for 2024 that the new contemporary dictionary of Mid-America and surrounding areas or something like that.
Geez, I mean, just Google it and you'll find it probably seven pages down. You'll find this thing.
But these people have been waving their tiny little fists in the air for a few years now.
And they say that if you're a Gen Z or a millennial, you have to use this because they say that the other urban dictionary is for the oldie oldsters, i.e. us and the boomers.
So anyhow, the first one that they say that we should use because it's younger people's slang, but not ours Rob, only younger people.
I'm just warning this, it's not our slang, right?
We would hate to break the rules and use the slang that's not for us, right?
Okay, deep-facing. Deep-facing is when someone is trying to convince you of something that didn't happen, but the person looks like AI trying to fake through the lie.
I kind of like that one.
Yeah?
I mean, I see where they got it at and it's kind of common. It doesn't have a word twist on it or nothing.
Deep-facing. I could see a deep fake and a face. Deep-facing.
It kind of describes what they're talking about, so okay. I can see that.
The next one is a sloshame. S-L-A-S-H-A-M-E. I believe it is pronounced sloshame. It does not have a pronunciation on here.
Maybe it's a slushum. A slushame. I don't know. Like I said, it's spelled S-L-A-S-H-A-M-E.
When someone makes fun of you and you come back with a witty response, it buries the person.
So, used in a sentence. Jerry was making fun of my shirt until I pointed out the stain on his crotch of his slacks. At least I can clean my clothes.
All right.
I didn't write these. They're not ours.
Next one. Ripple tides. When a person does an action that affects multiple people, Don got caught at the clubhouse in the woods.
No one can go there now. So therefore, Don or Ron committed a ripple tide. What he did affected many people that cannot go to the clubhouse now.
I'm going to go on with the last ones, but right now I think they suck. What do you think?
So far, yeah.
Next one. Rossin. R-O-S-S-I-N. Named after Ross from Friends. Means to act coy and nerdy near women, but probably will eventually get them by doing this.
Right. So, yeah. Let's say someone is being all poindexter and you come up to them and they're trying to smooth up on a chick and they get her. Then it's like whoever that guy is.
Hey man, you see him Rossin today? I kind of like that one. That may be the best out of all of them so far. What do you think? Yeah, I think so too.
Yeah. The next one is in center. The I in the N is capital. So I think you pronounce that. In center. So it's capital I-N. That's small case. S-E-N-T-E-R. All one word. In center.
Means someone is getting all the attention and they bask in it. So in here it says Julie sure loves being in center. She makes a lot of funny jokes and people respond to them well.
Okay, next. Yeah. Yeah. Velva Ora. When someone is untouchable, everyone loves Betty. She is so kind. She has the velvet aura.
Okay, I think she's kind. I like that one. There's two or three on here that I really like and then the rest of them I don't know. I just didn't connect with them very well.
Next one. Drinking it. D-R-I-N-K-I-N with an apostrophe. It. Drinking it. When someone suggests something and you agree completely. So yeah. I agree with what Jimmy said over there. So that means I'm drinking it.
So I think this is a play on drinking the Kool-Aid. Yeah. And it was flavorade by the way. But yeah. Okay.
And finally. Sue that. S-O-O-T-H space A-T. Sue that. When you want to relax at a particular area or place, I'm going to go sue that at the lake tomorrow.
Okay. Some of them were good. Yeah. Some of them. Some of them were not. So anyhow. Alright.
Alright. So if you're Gen Z or millennial, go check those words out because those are the cool N words. Or at least that's what they say. So anyhow. Have you ever heard of loud budgeting?
No I have not. Well this is a new trend and it's a TikTok thing and a lot of people are doing it.
The onset of a new year can often mean adopting new behaviors or hacks to help reach your financial goals. And for some social media users, this year is all about loud budgeting.
The term went viral. How come loud budgeting wasn't on the new word list? Right? Right. Oh that must be from like maybe the real urban dictionary. I don't know.
Okay. The term went viral on TikTok at the beginning of 2024 when one video racking up over 1.4 million views as of January 16th below CNBC select breaks down what you need to know about loud budgeting and how you might be able to use it to reach some of your financial goals.
So in a nutshell, what is loud budgeting? Loud budgeting is a money saving technique that involves declining social opportunities such as grabbing dinner with a friend or going to that destination wedding.
When it puts your financial goals in jeopardy and telling people that's the reason you aren't going is. So it's kind of like an excuse but it's a valid one. It's like I can't go to Barbados to be in part in the Henry's wedding or something. Right? Right.
So because I'm loud budgeting and everyone's like oh okay we get it. We get it. So the idea with loud budgeting is to simply empower more people to be comfortable with speaking up about the financial goals and the most top of mind right now.
So that is loud budgeting and it's a TikTok trend and all I gotta say with that is okay. Alright I get it. So Rob you got something you want to go into?
Yeah actually I was on Singer's Room again.
Yeah that's another good site.
And I found 15 best classic rock songs of all time.
Oh this is one you were telling me about the other day. I couldn't wait for this. Go ahead.
Yeah yeah because some of them I don't know and I think there's others that should be there too but it's a freaking list.
Well you know a lot of it is regional. The songs that KY played this is back when they had program directors in every station no matter how big or how small it was.
They had their own program director and then he was the guy that put in the music he felt was big. So like what was big around the Midwest probably like I got a great example.
Bruce Springsteen is huge on the East Coast right. You come to the Midwest and they're like yeah he's okay. Not that big a deal.
West Coast they like him but don't love him but the East Coast is nuts about him. Especially the upper Northeast they just think he's the best music thing ever.
But he wasn't played that much on the radio here and he's not that thought of as highly here. I mean yeah he's a good musician and yeah we like some of his songs but we weren't fanatical about him like the Northeast was.
So that's a pretty good example. So some of this is regional so some of this stuff that didn't go in there is probably where this survey or whatever was based out of. So go ahead Rob.
And this is the list they came up with.
Well yeah that's another thing too. This is completely up to how they felt too.
I mean I just like other people's opinions to be honest.
Well you mentioned a couple of them and I was like yeah I see that. So yeah go ahead man.
And I can grade what I think of it okay. Does that sound good?
Yeah that's what I like.
Okay number fifteen. Purple Haze by Jimi Hendrix.
Yeah. Yeah. Of course I would have picked the Bob Dylan remake along the watchtower or Voodoo Child.
But good great song. I can't really argue with it.
Okay coming in at number fourteen. Temptate Through the Devil by Rolling Stones.
I see it. I wouldn't have put it on.
I agree with it too. I've always enjoyed that song.
It's a great song but to me it's not a top fifteen worthy but this is all subject to your own opinion.
Right. Okay number thirteen. Rocket Man by Elton John.
Okay I was a little heavier guy. You know I liked heavier music. I liked a lot of psychedelic stuff. Some prog rock.
Elton John was great but he wasn't so much of my flavor that I would put him in the top fifteen.
But I respect their opinion and it is a great song.
If I was to put an Elton John song in my top fifteen if I had to it would be Funeral for a Friend. The Tribute to John Lennon.
That song is amazing. That is an amazing song.
Okay anyhow go ahead.
Okay coming in at number twelve. More Than a Feeling by Austin.
I can definitely see that.
Yep. Yeah I think I agree with that. That probably should be in the top fifteen maybe.
Okay coming in at number eleven. Layla Derrick and the Dominoes.
Yes. Now I've got a question Rob. Do you like Derrick and the Dominoes version or do you like Eric Clapton's version better?
Um. I like Derrick and the Dominoes better. To me it's got a little edgier sound.
Yeah. I like both. But yeah I think Derrick and the Dominoes would edge it out.
Clapton's was fine but yeah I like the Derrick and the Dominoes better.
Wonderful song.
I like the voice that is just edgier.
Okay number ten.
Oh and I can agree with that. I can agree with that too.
Yes. Number ten. Imagine John Lennon.
Absolutely. Absolutely.
That's one of my karaoke songs. Come on.
The message of the song is kind of complicated and mixed so I can see someone not really caring for the lyrics so much.
But the music is just so good and the feeling was just excellent. So I have to agree.
Okay number nine. Dream On by Aerosmith.
Okay.
That would be probably my top fifteen also.
I can see that too but I prefer the like Walkin' the Dog.
Walkin' the Dog with that funky fucking crazy guitar.
Yeah.
But you know this is all subject to what you grew up with you know.
The stuff that caught me on Walkin' the Dog was the lyrics.
You know she broke the needle now. She don't sew.
I mean all these little innuendos and the whole thing.
It all was insinuating drug abuse but not coming out and saying it.
And it drove like the censorship people nuts.
Because they couldn't really prove exactly what he was saying.
But they had a pretty good idea of what he was saying you know.
So anyhow go ahead Rob.
Okay number eight.
Smoke On the Water by Deep Booth.
Yeah.
I agree.
Yeah.
Yep besides that that's everybody's go to song on guitar because virtually everybody can play it.
But everybody plays it wrong because I watched Richie Blackmore show everybody how he plays it.
And everybody plays it completely wrong.
Because he does not move his fingers up and down the scale.
He uses a chord and then a chord he deviated from to actually do it by picking the strings.
So it is a little bit more complicated.
Not a lot of people can do it that way.
So go ahead.
Okay next.
Form the Run by Bruce Springsteen.
There you go. Not for me.
No.
Yeah not for me.
Not this Liz.
A lot of people think so.
Got nothing against him.
But top 15 to me. No he shouldn't even be near it.
Our opinion.
Okay number six.
Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd.
I prefer Wish You Were Here but yeah.
No I'm like you. I think it should be Wish You Were Here instead.
Yeah to me Wish You Were Here was just such a classic.
I mean David Gilmore's note bending is so underrated.
Such a recognizable guitarist on every aspect.
He bent those notes so genuinely that he could virtually play anything and you know it was him.
Brilliant guitarist.
Yes very brilliant.
Okay number five.
Free Bird by Leonard Skinner.
Cool.
If you're talking about Skinner although I love the way he plays.
If you're talking about Skinner although I love other songs more.
Of Skinner.
And a lot of this is because I just heard it so much that I don't want to hear it again.
So I like some other stuff that they did much better.
But if you're going to talk about Skinner and put him on the top 15 it would have to be Free Bird.
Right?
Yeah.
Okay number four.
I do not see how it's even near this list.
They got to put a controversial one on there of course.
Sweet Child Oh Mine by Rose.
No.
That's the worst song Guns N' Roses ever did.
They have them at number four.
No.
God no.
Wow there's so many picked from.
I'm trying to think.
Probably a side two off of Appetite for Destruction.
Rocket Queen.
Which does get radio play.
I think could have made it.
It would have been a better choice.
Paradise City.
I don't even want that one.
I think maybe even November Rain.
But Paradise City is fine if that's what you like Rob.
That's fine.
I'm just throwing them out there.
Anything that Sweet Child Oh Mine.
That was the worst damn song they ever written.
They don't like it.
And there's a reason they don't like it.
Slash was fucking around with that.
And they made a song and he thought nothing of it.
And then it got picked up and they said no play it.
The record company or something.
And they did and it became a hit.
And they hate doing it.
So anyhow it's kind of like Gene Simmons with I Was Made For Loving You.
They were copying the disco craze.
And trying to sell a few records with Dynasty.
And that song hit.
And now Gene Simmons well he doesn't do it now.
But he had to play it at every concert when they put their makeup back on.
And he hated it.
So anyhow I personally like the song.
Anyhow go ahead.
Okay number three.
Hotel California The Eagles.
Yeah.
No argument.
That's the song.
Absolutely.
100%.
Coming in at number two.
Bohemian Roxy Queen.
Yeah.
I mean.
The song just took up a whole new life.
Especially was reintroduced with Wayne's World.
And hit number one again.
This was a song that should have never been put out.
No I don't mean it like that.
What I mean is this is a song.
That nobody thought would ever do well.
Could they actually do a song like that.
And they did.
Yeah they did.
And it hit.
Yeah props to Queen for ever doing that song.
Because everybody was against that song.
But then when it came out.
Did well.
And then it did even better in hindsight.
When Wayne's World.
Put it out on their soundtrack.
You know because everybody used to sing it.
Mamma Mia Mamma Mia Mamma Mia.
Let me go.
That whole thing.
Everybody used to do that in the car.
And I mean props to them.
Balls the size of Texas.
Forever putting that song out.
And that song deserves all the accolades it gets.
So go ahead.
Okay coming in at number one.
Stairway to Heaven by Zeppelin.
Okay.
Yeah.
I guess if you gotta go with Zeppelin.
You gotta go with their.
It's song.
The song that everybody praises as number one.
All those top four hundreds over Labor Day.
All those top four hundreds over the New Year.
Of all time classic rock songs.
That or Freebird always hits number one.
So I guess I can't really argue with that.
So alright Rob that was a good list.
I have an idea.
Take off Sweet Child of Mine.
And throw in anything by Fleetwood Mac.
Fleetwood Mac did not make this list.
You know what you're right.
Fleetwood Mac should have made the list.
As a matter of fact.
Hey.
Let's do our top fifteen.
Me and you.
Each one of us do our top fifteen.
Classic rock songs of all time.
That sound good?
Alright.
Sounds good.
We'll have that in a few days.
Okay.
I'm gonna start writing on mine tonight.
Cause just listening to that list.
I'm gonna go in that direction.
And I already have like four songs.
That I think should have been on there.
So this ought to be fun.
So alright.
Well we are at the end of this podcast.
So Rob you got anything you want to say before we hang up on the people?
Ah that's pretty much all I have for this evening.
Alright everybody have a great night.
Thank you for listening.
Bye.
Hey where did everybody go?
Where are the douche bags?
Oh my god someone took a dump in the corner.
Oh jeez.
Glad they are gone.
Let's just hope they don't come back.
Man that smells.