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Two douchebags and a microphone, my name is Mark.
And I am Rob.
Alrighty. You know earthquakes suck, right Rob?
Oh definitely.
You know there's a new player in town?
Yeah, I do.
Oh you know about this?
Yep.
Frostquakes.
What? Okay, well that ain't what I'm thinking of.
Oh, well we'll get to yours here in a minute, okay? How's that?
Okay, what exactly is a frostquake?
Alright, I have no stories on it, but we can talk about it.
No, that's fine, that's what we do here.
What exactly is a frostquake, you might ask yourself?
Well, I don't have a clue.
Strong bitter cold snaps are the culprit. When moisture gets in the ground and suddenly freezes up before running to drainage, it will expand the ground, and then when it thaws, the large pockets left in the ground will cave in, therefore causing said frostquakes.
There's your odd fact of the month. You're welcome, America.
Okay.
It's kind of like fracking. You know how fracking, it's caused a lot of tremors in Oklahoma and southern Kansas?
Same thing, when they take out that really thick oil, that almost coal from the ground, it caves in, the pockets cave in eventually, and that causes tremors.
So anyhow, this is the same thing. Frostquake, just a different reason.
Leaves little pockets in the ground, they cave in, and then you get what they call a frostquake.
Frostquake. You know, I thought it was some new little Debbie snack myself.
Frostquakes. Oh, fuck, I gotta go get one.
That sounds good.
Yeah, that sounds really good. Wouldn't you buy a frostquake?
You take it like that? Yeah.
Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, hell yeah.
And you go to the real way? Hell no.
Okay, so alright, Rob, you come up to me, okay? And then you ask me what I'm eating, okay? I'm sitting here on a bench.
What are you eating?
Frostquake.
Oh, that sounds good. Can I have one?
Yeah, sure. Here, here. It's little Debbie.
Oh, awesome.
Man, what do you think, man? This shit's good, isn't it?
Oh, damn, that's good.
Hell yeah. I love that.
There you go. Frostquakes are cool.
Alright, next one. BetUSA, an online sports book.
I get the little played out from, have you listened to Amor Bubba?
I love it.
Yeah, he does that a lot.
Yes, I have.
I love it. It's just so cool. It's like, hey, come over and ask me this, and then they go on.
Well, anyhow, BetUSA, an online sports book, has launched a new service for Sports Bowl 58
that allows fans of Kansas City Chiefs' tight end Travis Kelce to hire a lookalike to visit their party.
For a fee of $1,500, fans of Taylor Swift's Boyfriend can get a visit from 6'6 Kelce lookalike.
So there you go. You want a cool party? You can take a blurry picture of the lookalike and go, hey, Travis Kelce came by.
But does he come with a 5'4 Taylor Swift?
Let me see here. It didn't say it in...
He's got to be short.
Oh, I know. It doesn't go into that. It just goes into the Kelce lookalike, so I don't think they're really...
Oh, come on. You've got to have a Taylor in Kelce.
Wouldn't they have to?
They're a couple. They're going to get married. Don't you know that?
Yeah, they would be like, you mean to tell me that Travis Kelce came to this party by himself?
Is him and Taylor having problems?
Yeah, that ain't going to be believable. You've got to have a Taylor Swift that's at least 5'4.
I would agree.
Even though she's like 6'4, you know.
Yep, I agree. I got one for you, Rob.
Yeah.
There is now a bill in Congress. You had all the Congress stuff on the last podcast. I saved this one for this one.
No, that was just over Roger Goodell and then it fell.
Well, then you had the second one about marijuana and not impeding on people's rights.
Oh, yeah. That was in the state of Missouri.
No, I know, but they were all congressional things and I didn't want to clog that one up with all of just congressional stuff.
This one here, introducing the House.
Yeah, we try to stay out of actually. That surprised me.
Well, we're not giving an opinion on it. We're just telling you what's going on.
No.
We're not saying left, right, middle, whatever. We're just giving you what we learn to be the facts or we hope are the facts and you decide for yourself.
Because like I always say, we don't do political talk because A, you already know how you feel about these subjects and we're not changing your mind.
And B, there's people much better than us that can describe situations to you.
So why should we do it when we're really not the person to do it?
You know, I mean, there's people that are really good at it and we're better at dick jokes.
So we're sticking to, you know, we're sticking to our role. We know our role, right?
Right.
All right. Introducing the House, 9-20-23, to protect national security against the threats posed by deepfake technology and to provide legal resources to victims or harmful deepfakes.
So this is a bill that has been introduced to Congress that if you're caught doing a deepfake and harm someone else, it will be a felony.
I think that is wonderful.
I think it's wonderful because, you know, like a couple of podcasts, I've seen a lot of people who are doing deepfakes and they're saying, well, you know, if you're caught doing a deepfake, you're going to be a felony.
I think it's wonderful because, you know, like a couple of podcasts ago, I went into how the AI was vindictive, appeared to be vindictive, and the guy that was criticizing AI, they made up all these fake stories.
Yeah.
I mean, but how do you punish AI? What do you do? You just shut them off? You pull the cord on them?
Those fire themselves back up.
Yeah, yeah. Slippery slope it is, but I'm glad they're starting to introduce some boundaries. That's a good start.
I'm still waiting, John Connor.
We're all waiting for John Connor. I know.
Yep.
Which will lead us into my next story.
Go for it, Rob. I'm done with this one.
Oh, yeah?
That's it. I mean, they introduced a bill and it hasn't went through Congress yet. But I agree with it 100%. We need to stop this now or at least slow it down because it's gaining so much traction of people doing deepfakes.
I mean, I think the cat's out of the bag, yes, but anything I can do to slow it down. Okay, I'm four.
There's too many people out there with bad intentions with AI and then AI seems to have bad intentions.
I mean, so anyhow, Rob, go ahead.
If that thing is AI, I'll tell you it has bad intentions.
AI doesn't care. What are you going to do to it?
It'll tell you it has bad intentions. I've heard it.
They're over their ass face in this right now.
They're like they're like got their robotic ass right in their face and shaking it around when he.
So we go to Rob.
Okay, as promised, I'm going into the UFO and alien story.
Yay. You made us wait a whole podcast, you evil bastard.
Hey, that means people are going to tune in to our next one.
Cool. So we get two downloads and not just one.
Well, okay, after you get done with this, I have two things about conspiracy theories I think you're going to love.
All right. Yeah, I love shit like that.
They're both really cool. So go ahead.
Okay, just so people know, I grew up getting library books out of the school library about Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, football, stuff like that.
Yep.
And doing my book reports on.
And I've been doing a lot more research on UFOs and aliens.
But here's a story.
And I found this on Iris Star.
Okay.
Which I found another story similar on a different site. I just don't have it pulled up.
But let me read this one to you.
The US government, to be set to reveal it, has been hiding a real life 30 foot wide alien with politicians reportedly to be briefed this week.
Uh huh.
Which I believe has already happened. But anyway.
Go ahead.
The aliens in particular are known as TARDIS, T-A-R-D-I-S, an alien species that has appeared in a number of sci-fi TV shows and movies.
This comes from a whistleblower who has been sharing a lot of information about the potential of UFOs in the US and the wider world.
And that's a big story. This dude's getting big.
Former intelligence officer David Gersh told a behind closed doors meeting of CIA, FBI, and Wall Street bigwigs that 30 foot wide UFO is the size of a football field inside to manipulate space and time and is capable of
harnessing enough energy to power 70,000 homes a year.
Gersh has said that his life has become a nightmare since coming out to speak about the US government's reported involvement with UFOs.
With increased calls for transparency coming from the public with regards to UFOs, the story does not sound like it's going away anytime soon.
Okay, well, I've heard different podcasts with this David Gersh. I've read a lot of stuff about this.
David Gersh used to be a military official.
Oh, okay.
He was sent out to collect evidence. He is one of the top people.
And now that the files have been opened, he's not afraid to come out. He's going up in front of the Senate. He's going up in front of everybody.
And he's bringing it out to the public.
That's awesome. I wish more people would do that because there has been a big cover up. Correct me if I'm wrong here, Rob, but didn't the Congress, when they uncovered all this...
Didn't they say they had an actual alien?
Yeah, of course, man. Congress said when they opened up all the files, they said they actually have an alien and no one seemed to listen. They have one preserved. Isn't that what they said?
Well, what I hear is that there's a real-life 30-foot wide alien.
Yes, I know, but it started...
And all occasions were reported to be briefed, but they've already been briefed. They've already done this meeting.
No, but what I'm saying is when they started all this... I know we went to this, okay, but when they started all that and they had their big hearings and they had it on TV, they admitted they had a dead alien.
Yeah.
They admitted it, but why didn't anyone say anything? Why didn't people go, what the hell? No one said anything. It's because we've been programmed and trained to be in our life so much and to overthink everything and to be a part of the system that we don't free think anymore.
Yeah, they don't want us to know.
Exactly. So they came out and said it and they knew that most people wouldn't give a shit. They knew that nothing. They're just like, okay, whatever.
Oh no, what they're afraid of is that if they let out that aliens...
People start killing each other.
... take over this earth, then we're not going to listen to...
You know what they're thinking of? H.G. Wells or the worlds.
We're not going to listen to our government. We're not going to listen.
Or was that Orson Williams?
We're going to wait for the aliens to come get us.
Wait a minute, I think I saw... Yeah, you're right. You're right.
But I've also read stories. I've done research.
Don't quote me on this, but you can take the book of Revelations and turn it into aliens.
That's been done.
If you watch on YouTube, you do studies into it like I have.
Well, here's the way that I think it should be done to me.
Okay, number one, I believe in the Bible. I'm a Christian.
Yes, I do. I do.
But number two, the Bible was written by men.
Several ones. Right.
That was supposedly the word coming down from God.
But okay, let's say some of these... Because who was God?
Okay, well, I think that that's an answer that we're not going to be able to provide until later on.
Yeah, you and me cannot answer that.
Yes. So what I'm thinking is, this is my thought on it after many years of going...
Well, okay, here, let me go into this real quick, okay? And I hope I don't bore everybody.
But there's minor differences between a lot of religions.
Like for one, like a Baptist or let's say a Christian, just a Christian church or a Baptist church.
Okay. Just your one or middle, another special.
We're going where we never go.
Look, we're not giving our definite opinions.
But we have it under control.
Okay. One church, because I know I've been to several churches in my life.
And you got to find what suits you and what you think is true and where you actually feel God.
So, okay, here's the deal.
One religion about their only differences is they think that when you die, you're judged right then.
You either go to heaven or hell, whatever you think heaven and hell is, you're judged right then.
Other ones think you go into a holding tank and you wait there until everybody's dead because of the rapture and then the people going up.
And you're no longer on this earth and then everyone is judged there.
Now, isn't it better?
Does it matter? Does it really matter as long as you believe?
There are so many religions out there because there's minor differences in them.
So, my theory is...
No, what matters? Go ahead.
Don't believe or disbelieve.
Take it all under consideration and see how you feel about things.
But always be able to fluctuate off of what you think it is because often, so many times, we'll be wrong.
So, I don't think...
There's no way we could go out and say, definitely, you sit in a holding tank or definitely you're judged right there because we don't know for sure.
So, why are we worried about it?
Why are we saying these other people are crackpots?
Why are we pointing the finger at them?
We should just all be like, okay, we're not sure about this part but we are sure about Christ.
Exactly.
Yeah. So, hey, Rob, go ahead. Do you have more?
No, that's what I have.
Well, that was kind of an in-depth for a couple of douchebags.
But, well, hey, now that I know you're interested...
...and I hope our listeners are interested, I'm going to come up with a hell of a lot more.
Please do.
This is something that I've always loved.
I mean, remember Art Bell? Do you remember Art Bell, the old overnight talk show host?
Yes, yes.
Remember how cool his show was?
He spoke about all this stuff constantly.
That was his gimmick and I think he believed in it. I don't know. Maybe he didn't.
But it didn't matter. It was very entertaining and I always loved listening to it.
I'd be going to work really early in the morning at that time period when his show was really balling hard.
And I remember listening to him, I think it was on 7, 10 a.m., KCMO now.
Anyhow, I was listening to him on there and going, my God, this is so cool. Wow. Love it.
And the reason I loved it was because that was something you couldn't get anywhere else except there.
But the whole point I'm getting at is, it's so entertaining. So, yeah, why not?
Besides that, it's a podcast. It's free. If you don't like it, turn it off.
Oh, they're talking about Aliens again. I'm going to shut this one off and go to the next one.
Well, I can move into Bigfoot or whatever this crazy bug car is.
Rob, you are half of this show. If you feel like going into it, it's fine with me.
So, all right, we both have our own freedom. We don't try to block anybody here. We're even.
We have our own freedom to come up with the subject we want. So if that's what you want to do, that's great with me.
Okay. Well, step back, my friend.
All righty. Are you coming up with one right now or are you coming up with one a little bit later?
No, I'm coming up with one right now. I haven't planned me.
Okay.
Could very well be a Sasquatch.
Okay.
And this comes off our station, KHMO AM1070.
I've actually heard that station. We can actually pick it up in Kansas City at night sometimes. Did you know that?
Can you?
I'm getting a lot of these stories.
Well, actually, wait a minute. That was Cass County in the city here. Probably not. Anyhow, go ahead.
Anyway. Was that the Bluetooth kicking off?
No, that was my computer. Someone just posted something.
Okay, okay. I heard something. All right.
No, no, no. You're still on.
Many of my family members of the generations in Missouri farmers and ranchers, it's part of the way of life to lose cattle one way or another.
Okay.
But there was one Missouri man who believes that something very bizarre is killing his cows and he's not alone in his belief.
Okay.
There's no specific town or area mentioned other than these strange happenings are happening in the wilds of the southern part of Missouri.
Mm-hmm.
The Missouri YouTube channel Sasquatch Theory has been investigating a rural area where a man says he's seen strange things done to his cattle.
Okay.
While investigating the woods of his Missouri place, they came across random cattle bones.
Okay.
Could this be wildlife killing Missouri farmers' cattle? Sure.
What are these strange structures they found?
And they show like trees, like pyramid forms.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, if you follow any Bigfoot, like any of the shows or whatever, they come up with tree structures that are built.
Yeah.
And nobody knows where the hell they're coming from other than possibly Bigfoot.
Fair enough.
And they're like a warning, stay away, is what people are guessing.
Okay.
Anyway, while I recommend watching the entire investigation, if you have time, one theory that he brought forth that I thought was interesting was that whatever creature or beast is responsible for killing his Missouri man's cattle,
his traveling underground and traveling around his cattle.
Hang on a minute. I got a question. Did it kill it and eat it or did it just kill him?
I don't know. It's just bones left.
Then it ate it probably.
Well, I watched the show, Finding Bigfoot.
Uh-huh.
And the Bigfoot just want the intestines.
Oh, okay.
And the rest of the body is left for coyotes, any other predators.
Okay, I got you. So the coyotes picked everything else off. Okay.
Yeah.
Okay. Yeah, this is, there has been for many, many years when we were kids, Mark.
No, I know.
There was a story about a Bigfoot in southern Missouri, northern Arkansas called Momo.
Momo, yeah. Yep.
And I know people that have seen Momo. They swear by it. They're like, no, it's out there.
I've seen reports on the internet. I've talked to people.
Unfortunately, they're passed away now, but there are some several ones around there in Cass County where I lived of the elders that said, yes, that Momo is true.
They've seen it and they know it's true. And the furthest they know that Momo came up was probably about Bennett Springs.
Oh, dude.
That's the furthest north that they've seen.
Well, then there's more than one because...
No, there is. There is. They've known this.
There's a picture that I've seen in the last three years down at Table Rock.
Yeah, well, Table Rock is south of Bennett Springs, yes, but there is more of them because...
Oh, no, there's a lot that's between Bennett Springs and Table Rock.
But let me put it like this.
It's like two out of drive.
How did a Momo originate? It had to have parents. It had to have two, a male and a female coming together and producing this. So, yeah, there would be more.
Hey, let's take a break because we're really late on the first one and I'll come back with some conspiracy theories. Okay, that sound good?
Yeah, so I'm going to start going into more UFOs and Bigfoot.
Yeah, that's cool. All right, man.
We will be right back.
That's how... Yeah, I love it. We'll be back in a couple of minutes.
All right.
Hey, look, I think we found land. Oh my God, I think we're safe. Oh, no, it's the island of horrible jokes.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snowbank. The apocalypse just happened. You don't know what to do. You don't know where to go. But we can tell you what you can eat.
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The entire plant is edible from root to tip. It can be roasted or raw and is safe for canines and humans.
We're just like a really funny radio show with all the funny taken out.
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.
So, if I have a glass of ice water and the ice melts into the water, is my water then watered down? I may never know.
Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.
Great news. William Hung's world tour has been extended.
And we are back. Two douchebags and microphone on Mark.
And I'm Rob.
Alright, as I mentioned a little bit before, we went into a little bit of everywhere about these conspiracy theories.
We went into Art Bell, the old radio show that was all conspiracy theory. And we love this. So, this is no different.
This is a conspiracy theory that has been hatched out here over the last week.
Ever since the NFL has produced its wild card weekend, this is what people made of it.
People say it is scripted because of this. Tyreek Hill is back in KC to play a game. Right? We trained him to Miami.
Yep. Mike McCarthy was from Green Bay. Now he was the coach of KC.
Now he was the coach of Green Bay. Now he is the coach of Dallas. Dallas and Green Bay played.
So, Mike McCarthy went back to Green Bay where he started.
Jared Goff was traded to Detroit from the Los Angeles Rams.
Jared Goff right now is back in LA playing a football game.
And, if you want to get a kicker on that, Stafford, who was traded to LA from Detroit, is back in Detroit.
What do you think of that? That is pretty ironic. I am not saying it is true or not.
I am just saying, when they came out with that, saying the NFL is definitely scripted, it took me back.
I was like, wow, that is true. If it isn't scripted, they could not have wrote a more perfect script. Right?
Right.
Players coming back to get their revenge, or whatever, they are back in their hometown and they are ready to destroy them and move on to the Super Bowl.
And talk about each market. You think Detroit market isn't booming? Watching their old quarterback?
And you think the Los Angeles market isn't booming? Wanting to kick Goff's ass?
I know here in Kansas City, we are wanting to kick Tyreek's ass. See?
It formulates, it brings, it garnishes so much emotion and so much anger and this and that, that it is the perfect story.
So, I mean, I am not saying it is true.
You have a problem between you and Ruzan. My friend in Ohio.
I think she dumped you Rob, because of me.
She did.
She is not writing back. She is not answering. She fucking hates me dude.
I had that girl's back.
I know. Dude, you are right. You told me to lay off of her, right?
I couldn't help myself. I just kept badgering her.
Yeah, but we had the guy who all bad, email in and said keep on her.
Yeah, you see, so Ruth Ann should, and also Ruth Ann is hurting you.
She has not stood the NFL.
Yes, Ruth Ann is hurting you to get to me and that is what bothers me Rob. She should not do that.
You had nothing to do with it. I was the one. I was the culprit. I was the one mouthing off. I was the one making fun of Natty and little Joey Burrow and Jamar Chase and all that stuff.
I was the one doing all that. Yep, not you, but no. She lumped you in with me and I am sorry Rob.
You were robbed of her friendship because she is one sided.
Sorry.
Yeah, that is her law.
Yes. I tried. I know Rob and I feel for you man. I am sorry.
Okay, here are the craziest conspiracy theories of 2023 according to several universities just like the one that I did in the last podcast about the words they wanted to banish.
This is what universities say are the craziest conspiracy theories that they think originated in 2023.
Number one that they think is just totally crackers and crayons and I think I believe with them that rocks are actually soft until you touch them.
When you touch them, they harden.
Any comments?
Not really. Not on that one.
Maybe that goes with the flat eripters. Maybe they are flat and soft. I don't know.
Number two, this one is kind of funny and I could actually see it being true.
Traffic barrels are put out on roads because they have no place to store them.
I agree with that.
I mean I see where it came from because how many times do you drive down a highway and there are all these cones and nothing going on.
Why?
It's like what the fuck, you run this down to one lane and no one has been working on here for three weeks. Take those damn things out of there.
That happens all the time and I cannot argue with that one at all.
That is like a storage. That explains it right there.
That explains it to everybody. Thank you Mark.
They tell the grunts, go over there and just throw them over there on Highway 50. Who cares?
You just solved a mystery for everybody Mark. Thank you.
America, you're welcome. We are sleuths. We are sleuths here first. Number one. At Two Deuce Bags and Microphone. Entertainers second.
Number three that they think is the top conspiracy theories, the crackers and crayons loonies.
Walt Disney was cryogenically frozen. That's why Disney put out the movie Frozen.
So when you Google Walt Disney the movie will appear first instead of Walt Disney being cryogenically frozen.
That's a good one.
Honestly I can kind of see that.
He was cryogenically frozen.
He was about the same time.
Yeah they put out the movie Frozen so when you Google it that's when you'll get everything.
So okay who knows who doesn't know. I love it though.
They don't want people to read Walt Disney being frozen so they put out the movie Frozen.
I can see that.
I can see that easily.
Thank you for that one Mark.
Yeah absolutely. These were good ones. When I come across his article I'm like oh man I like this.
Yeah my granddaughters love that movie.
I don't think there's a kid around that doesn't love that movie.
Let it go. Let it go.
Anyhow. Sorry America. Number four.
Oh my God you're actually seeing it.
Yeah I know that's why I apologized.
Number four. That Giselle Bunchkin Tom Brady's ex-wife is an actual witch and she hexed Leonardo DiCaprio after they broke up so that he would never be able to date anyone older than she was when they broke up.
That one's a little too far out there.
I have no opinion on that one.
You know what me neither.
No opinion.
I'll go a step further. I don't care.
Ain't none of my business.
My name's Bennett and I ain't in it.
So yeah.
This next one is. You're going to get a good kick out of this one.
The government controls the weather so celebrities can have nice weddings outdoors.
Hey NWS. National Weather Service. Yeah. Yeah I am the owner of I don't know a fucking craft or something.
My daughter's getting ready to get married. It's going to be in Albuquerque. Could you maybe please give us some good weather.
All right we're right on that Mr. Craft. Hang on.
All right put it in.
All right Mr. Craft requests the. Oh you're talking about Robert Craft.
No I don't know. I'm just making up. No Robert Craft has nothing to do with craft.
Yeah he has nothing to do with craft foods. I'm just making that up. I don't know.
Oh you're going craft foods. OK.
Yeah yeah yeah. Robert Craft actually I think he made his money in paper products I believe. But anyhow it doesn't matter.
If it was Robert Craft it would rain on his daughter's wedding.
Oh yeah. Yeah that would be fantastic for me.
Next one. Your Social Security number indicates what bank you were sold to at birth.
Well. Well. Well.
We'll just go to the next one. Yeah. OK the final one.
The Great Fire of London was not caused by a rat but it spontaneously combusted instead.
I don't have an opinion on that. I don't care.
The Great Fire of Lebanon? Of London.
Oh of London. I like to say Lebanon.
No London. Many many years ago.
I was going to say the contrary to Lebanon Missouri half hour south of me.
No no no no no not Bennett Springs Lebanon. No not that one.
OK OK. Yeah.
No London. The Great Fire of London.
Yeah. In the history books and all that. Yeah.
They say that it was spontaneously.
Yeah. They say that London was spontaneously combusted.
Don't know. Don't care.
Safe to say Rob.
Yeah.
Don't know. Don't care.
OK. I don't live there.
Oh yeah. That's part of it. And also I still wouldn't care.
So. And that was how many years ago.
Exactly. You are right. It got nothing to do with us.
Yep. Let's take a break and I'm going to come back with a little light hearted segment here that's actually.
Well it's kind of light. It is light hearted. So.
That sound good.
Yeah.
OK. We'll be right back in a couple of minutes guys.
Somewhere in the heavens your great Grammy Gertrude is crying because her little Bebo is listening to this film.
And now deep thoughts with Mark.
Why can't I use my toaster to toast ravioli or how about marshmallows.
Man this is bullshit.
Break. Shale. Energy drink.
That's right. Break. Shale. Energy drink.
Make that room a good room.
You want your balls.
You want to shut up.
You want to go to school.
You want to shut up.
You want to go to school across America.
Break. Shale. Energy drink.
Please enjoy Break. Shale. Energy drink responsibly. It's not readily available anywhere because of liability issues.
And now a brand new feature. Strange insults from an alien.
May your mother come to talk to you and then leave your door slightly ajar so that you may have to get up and close it.
No batlight here. These idiots just show up and hope for the best.
No one invited them but they still linger.
Is it a microphone? I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
There's a guy here, a college student that's getting a lot of attention.
He's actually reviewing death row inmates last meals.
You know how they all get a last meal?
They ask them what they want to go. What would you like?
Some people say pizza. Some people say caviar. Some people say crackers.
T-bone.
T-bone. Yeah. This is your last meal of your life here on earth.
And they provide you whatever you want before they kill you.
Doesn't that sound barbaric?
Sure you can have a T-bone and caviar. We're going to kill you afterwards.
But welcome to it.
Mom.
Yeah. I would ask for snacks.
I always kind of thought that.
Remember the old snacks restaurants, the fast food places?
Oh god yes.
I would ask for that.
They're right on the corner of Main Street and Grandview.
Yes. I think Burger Bitch might be there now. Burger King. I'm not for sure.
Probably.
Yeah. So I would ask for snacks because they wouldn't be able to find it and they'd be looking forever.
I want to smack a room meal with a malt.
Large chocolate malt.
Yes. Got to be snacks.
Erp erp.
It had a seal. That's why I did that. A seal was its logo.
Anyhow. A recent college...
That sounded good actually dude.
Erp erp. Alright. My seal game is on it.
Okay. A recent collage...
Oh not collage. A recent college graduation from Virginia is attracting attention from the true crime lovers on social media as he cooks and tastes the final meals that were requested by well known death row inmates.
Since September 1st, Josh Slavin, Slavin, Slavin, I think Slavin, S-L-A-V-I-N, 23 has shared 26 different Instagram reels featuring his ratings of death row meal requests.
The first one he posted was that of Ricky Ray Rector, a convicted murderer who according to several news reports requested steak, fried chicken, a cherry Kool-Aid and pecan pie for his final meal.
Rector died by lethal injection in Arkansas in 1992.
There wasn't any rhyme or reason why I chose Rector to start, Slavin Staven said to Fox News Digital.
It looks simple to throw together. I enjoyed making the content. People enjoy consuming it and I decided to keep doing new renditions and covering new criminals.
Staven works in finance and creates lifestyle content on social media. He recently graduated from Washington University in St. Louis, Missouri where he studied finance and accounting.
He said he believes it is true crime aficionados who take an interest in his death row meal series.
I and I think others have an inmate infatuation with a morbid curiosity about these types of things, Slavin said.
Death is something everyone obviously faces, he added, yet to have the rare opportunity to select exactly what you want to eat right before you die is very rare.
Human circumstance and that's fascinating. Slavin has recreated the taste tested meals and had been requested by several notorious inmates.
From serial killer Ted Bundy who declined the privilege to select the meal.
After he declined to choose Bundy was reportedly given steak, hash browns, eggs, toast, juice and milk.
Slavin said he tried the meal requested by terrorist Timothy McVeigh who was sentenced to death by lethal injection for killing 168 people and injuring 680 in the Oklahoma City bombing of 1995.
McVeigh apparently requested two pints of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Isn't that good to know?
In my opinion ice cream alone is a poor final meal choice and choosing mint chocolate chip as the flavor only makes the decision worse, Slavin said in his Instagram reel as he judged McVeigh's last meal choice.
I'm placing this meal in the D tier so he goes by A, B, C and D.
Each meal Slavin first does research on the person, the crime and the food. He then cooks the food, tastes it and ranks the dishes in tiers with S being the best and D being abysmal.
I don't know why S is the best but okay.
The number one meal that I made was that of Alton Coleman, Slavin said, of the last meal of choice of Coleman. The serial killer chose to eat filet mignon and mushroom gravy, biscus and gravy, fried chicken, french fries, broccoli with cheese, collard greens, onion rings, cornbread, a salad, sweet potato pie and butter pecan ice cream and cherry cola.
Before he was executed by lethal, he had a full stomach.
He was executed by lethal injection in 2002 according to the office of Clark County prosecuting attorney in Indiana.
Slavin went on, he said he had a large meal but I thought that the meal was well coordinated, it synergized it and was a full southern meal.
In America most states will offer a last meal to violent criminals preceding that person's execution.
It's not fully clear how long the ritual has existed though in many cases inmates have had their pick of meals as long as it meets the state guidelines.
In 2011 Texas eliminated meal requests after killer Lawrence Russell Brewer requested a lengthy expensive meal.
He didn't eat it and told prison guards that he wasn't hungry.
Routers reported, in 1990 murderer James Edward Smith requested a lump of dirt for his last meal.
Well I guess he's getting ready to go take a dirt nap right?
Might as well.
I gotta get used to this dirt sometime, it might as well be now.
Go ahead and get the taste in your mouth.
His request was denied and he was given yogurt instead.
According to multiple sources.
So there you go, there's our light headed kind of...
Depending on what flavor of yogurt that could be worse than dirt.
Exactly.
My opinion, my opinion.
They really wanted to torture him, my opinion.
Related to law breakers though, actor Pierce Brosnan, former James Bond, a lot of movies, could be facing post...
Are you going into the Yellowstone?
Yes. Yep.
I could have done that a week or two ago but I didn't.
I'm just now getting to it because it was actually...
Do it, I'll let it come out of your mouth.
Okay.
Actor Pierce Brosnan could be facing possible jail time after allegedly walking in Yellowstone National Park,
hydrothermal areas in violation of federal law according to court documents.
Brosnan is facing citations of foot travel in all thermal areas within Yellowstone Canyon confined to trails.
And violating closures and use limits, the court record shows.
Criminal charges were filed against the Irish actor in Wyoming on Tuesday.
Federal law states this Tuesday was quite a while ago though because like I said, we're just now getting into it.
Because every podcast we start going on these other tangents about stuff and all these stories just sit here and we've got to throw away all these stories.
Dude, yeah, I've been going through mine this weekend.
Okay, I decided to go...
There's stuff like a week old I can go through but there's others I threw away.
It had to be related to what we're talking about.
We just got talking, we were done talking about raiding the inmates' last meals, right?
Yeah.
And that's why I went in, you know, went in and went into this because it's like criminal...
Oh, you're fine.
So criminal charges were filed against the Irish actor in Wyoming on Tuesday.
Federal law states foot travel in all thermal areas and within the Yellowstone Canyon between the Upper Falls and Inspiration Point must be confined to boardwalks or trails that are maintained for such travel and are marked by official signs.
So there you go, Chris Brosnan is in some shit and they're going to smack his hand.
Yeah.
Alright, so Rob, we turn to you, you got something you want to say, you got something you want to talk about, you got something you want to...I don't know, whatever.
Well, I'm looking here.
If not, I got something.
I have all kinds of stuff we have to go into.
Okay.
You want to hear the top emojis of 2023?
How about this?
Okay.
According to singersroom.com.
Okay.
The 15 best heavy metal songs of all time.
Amen.
Not my opinion, their opinions.
Yep.
Why did I go into reading this?
Alright, number 15, Dr. Feelgood, Molly Crew.
Not heavy metal, but okay.
Well, what was that?
Yeah, heavy metal songs, yeah.
I disagree wholeheartedly, but...
Yeah, I'd kind of do too on that one.
Hard Rock, it's not heavy metal.
Number 14, Painkillers, Juice Priest.
Yep, yep, absolutely.
13, you know, Bells, ACDC.
Not metal, great song, not metal.
Yeah, it was more mainstream.
Yeah, yeah.
Number 12, Breaking the Law, Juice Priest.
Yep, metal.
Number 11, Number of the Beast, Iron Maiden.
Metal, great song.
Back to Back, number 10, Run to the Hills, Iron Maiden.
Agreed.
I just don't agree with this order, but anyway.
Okay.
Number 9, Highway to Hell, ACDC.
If there was ever a metal song that AC did.
ACDC did, it would be Highway to Hell.
Highway to Hell, yep.
But I still consider it Hard Rock, so anyhow, go ahead.
And number 8, War Pigs, Black Sabbath.
Yeah, yeah.
Number 7, Crazy Train, Ozzy.
I would give it that, yes.
Not all of Ozzy's stuff is heavy metal.
It's heavy metal.
Go ahead.
Number 6, Astro Puppets, Metallica.
That's thrash metal, but it can be counted as heavy metal, so yes.
Yeah, it'd still be heavy metal.
Yeah, it would be a subcategory, but yes.
Number 5, Paranoid, Black Sabbath.
Okay, I gotta say this really quick about the Ozzy Sabbath.
That was psychedelic more than it was metal.
Okay, Black Sabbath is metal, but when Dio came aboard, that's when it really became prominent metal.
That's when it turned to metal.
Yes.
Tony Martinera, they had a lot of metal on there.
But a lot of the Sabbath stuff, and especially ones that they just spoke about, I don't really consider metal.
I mean, yeah, Tony, I don't mean...
Okay, go ahead.
Okay, number 5.
Oh no, I did number 5, Paranoid.
Yep, number 4.
Number 4, Inner Sandman, Metallica.
That's when they really started going mainstream, and I got a problem with that one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that mean...
You want to do Call of Cthulhu?
Master of Public should have read about that.
Absolutely, absolutely.
That's my opinion.
My opinion too? Go ahead.
Like I said, I don't agree with these, I'm just reading them.
No, I understand, you're just a messenger. Yeah, I get it.
Yeah.
Number 3, Ace of Spades, Motorhead.
Yeah, okay, okay.
It should be there, dude.
Okay.
Come on, Motorhead.
Ace of Spades, Lemmy.
Oh, I love Lemmy, I love Motorhead, and I get where they get that.
Well, it's the only one on the list by Motorhead, it should be there.
I accept it.
My opinion.
I accept it, my opinion.
Okay, number 2, here we go.
Number 2, Iron Man, Black Sabbath.
Okay, I think I can accept that one because of the chords that were used and the notes that were used.
They're very famous, just that one note.
That's metal as hell.
I think I'm going to have to give them that.
Even though with Ozzy, they were predominantly psychedelic rock that was heavy.
But, okay, I can go with that, Iron Man.
Okay, now you want number 1?
Yes, I do.
Black Sabbath by Black Sabbath.
Yes, absolutely.
I am not completely correct on all the Ozzy stuff.
The two that they mentioned, I think are metal.
It really kind of kicked it off and started at Black Sabbath with a really dark sound.
Yes, it was.
Yeah, okay.
I stand corrected.
Most of the stuff with Ozzy is hard, psychedelic rock.
The songs that they mentioned, except for Warpix, I think are probably in the metal category.
Okay.
I'm big enough to admit when I didn't say something right or think that I wasn't quite right.
No, they had four Black Sabbaths out of their top 15.
I think Dio Sabbath should have been in there ahead of that though.
Oh yeah, I do too.
You listen to Heaven and Hell.
I really do too.
Mob Rules.
But, like I said, this is on singerroom.com.
Yeah, this is just someone's opinion and I get it.
This ain't my opinion, that's their opinion.
I'm just a messenger.
I'm glad you brought this out.
I think it's a good listener thing and we got to say what we thought was bullshit and we got to say what we thought was right.
That's what we do, dude.
Why don't we close this one out with the top 10 emojis for 2023?
Okay, but I got a final thought.
Okay, that's fine.
Go ahead.
Number one emoji for 2023, crying with laughter.
Number two, the rolling on the floor laughing emoji.
Number three, red heart emoji.
Number four, folded hands.
I believe that would probably be praying hands.
Praying, yeah.
Number five, loud crying.
Number six, and I've seen this everywhere, heart eyes.
Eyes in the shape of hearts.
Yes, I've seen that.
That's annoyingly everywhere.
Yes.
Number seven, sparkles.
Number eight, the fire emoji.
Number nine, and I've seen this a lot too and it's rather annoying to me.
Smiling face with smiling eyes.
Number 10, this one's annoying too and it's everywhere.
Smiling face with hearts.
That is your top emojis of 2023.
So.
Okay, now your heart eyes with smiling face?
Yes.
I firmly believe that means stalker.
My opinion.
I couldn't agree with you more.
Anyhow, you got a final thought.
Yes, I do.
If you wear a falconry glove to the park and frantically look around the sky.
Everyone with a small pat will leave.
I love that one.
Rob, thank you.
Truth, truth, truth, truth.
Alright everybody, thank you for listening.
Have a great night.
The next podcast we do, I'm going to have some emails for you.
Alright.
Alright, everybody have a good night.
Thank you for listening.
Good night everybody.
Hey, where did everybody go?
Where are the douche bags?
Oh my god, someone took a dump in the corner.
Oh jeez.
Ugh, I'm glad they're gone.
Let's just hope they don't come back.
Man, that smells.