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Live from the historic river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the crystal blue

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waters of the Missouri River, it's Two Douchebags and a Microphone Podcast.

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And now it's time for the Daily Douchebag Pledge.

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Two Douchebags and a Microphone Pledge, I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to download

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every show.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to grab family members phones and download the

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show from there.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to go to public computers and download the show

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from there.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to laugh at all the unfunny jokes.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to lie to all my friends and tell them how good

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the show is.

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And finally, I, Joe, or Jane listener, promise to visit Montrose, Missouri to take advantage

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of the power plant, campgrounds, and junkyard all within its quarter mile radius.

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Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.

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Man, Axel Rose is such a great childhood therapist.

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I hope he writes more books.

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Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

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It's strange insults from an alien.

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Real hilarity.

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You have the personality of a soggy newspaper.

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The aboutlaps just happened.

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You don't know what to do.

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You don't know where to go.

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And we can tell you what you can eat.

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Wild asparagus is plentiful and easy to find.

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It can be stewed with garlic and onion, which is both wild, which can be easily found in

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a very tasty post-apocalypse food.

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You can make this into a delicious stew.

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And this will hold you over at least for a couple of days until you can find some other

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food.

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Two douchebags and microphone.

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I'm Mark.

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And I'm Rob.

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Oh, okay, Rob.

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Well, let's see.

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We got a straight from Topher's desk here in a minute.

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Awesome.

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But first, first, the Derek Thomas curse.

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We must talk about this, right?

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Yes, we do.

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That's my man.

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Was my man.

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Yeah.

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The DT curse was this.

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And it's still intact.

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You mouth off and disrespect Arrowhead Stadium.

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And you will have horrible luck and a horrible season since the time you disrespected Arrowhead

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Stadium, such as the Eagles and Nick Sirianni mouthing off at Arrowhead Stadium puffing

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his little fucking bird chest out, thinking he is all cool.

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They had the number one seed.

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They had one loss when they left Arrowhead.

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They promptly went two and five.

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They lost the number one seed and they had to go to the wild card round and they didn't

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even get a home game.

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And they lost.

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And they lost in Tampa to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

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They didn't just lose.

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They got dismantled 32 to nine.

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They were manhandled.

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They were spanked.

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They were fucking put down.

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They had fucking mud rubbed in their face.

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They left Tampa disgraced.

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And all of this could have been avoided if your stupid ass head coach would have kept

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his mouth shut.

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But no, now you're going home.

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Now you're going home.

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People need to remember DT.

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You disrespected.

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It's not just in Arrowhead.

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Curse it everywhere.

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You disrespected Arrowhead Stadium.

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You fool.

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Now you paid the price.

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You may even get fired.

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Who knows?

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You know, now your ass is sitting at fucking home.

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Yeah.

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And now you got to wait another year to not get it.

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So, oh, and also, my son also informed me today that Travis Kelsey.

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Okay.

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I have not read about it, but my son informed me that Travis Kelsey.

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No, excuse me.

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Not Travis.

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Jason Kelsey retired.

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Yes.

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Announced his retirement.

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Right after.

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Right after.

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That's why he was emotional.

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I mean, you know, he probably could.

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He's got a ring.

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So he's probably good with that.

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He got a Super Bowl ring.

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So many people go without a ring their whole career.

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He's got a Super Bowl ring from that famous Nick Foles filling in and beating the Patriots,

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I believe.

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He's got a ring.

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And he'd been to the Super Bowl a couple of times.

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So I'm sure he's relatively happy with his career.

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So he wasn't crying because they lost.

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He was emotional because he knew he was stepping down as soon as the season is over.

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He's not stupid.

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He's not going to destroy his body chasing a ring when he's already got one.

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So, yeah.

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So, you know what, Jason Kelsey, you're the only thing I liked about the Eagles.

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So, you know, God bless you, man.

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I hope you have a great life.

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Jason, Jason, go home, take care of your family, dude.

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That's what he's going to do.

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You deserve it.

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You deserve it.

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So your brother's trying to work on it.

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Yeah, well, you know what, man, he says that he's not going to retire anytime soon because he still loves playing the game.

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So that's fine.

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But in a related...

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It was great. Great.

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That's better for us.

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As long as he pulls his weight.

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Yeah, well, he had a much better game in the play.

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Yes, he did.

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Yes, he did.

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I won.

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I won.

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He was a really good distraction for Rashe Rice.

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Rashe Rice, 130 yards, great receiver, really making leaps and bounds his rookie year.

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This guy's going to be phenomenal.

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So in a related story, I got a newsflash that just came over my desk, Rob.

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You want to hear what it is?

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Legerious Need has wondered for the questioning about Tyreek Hill's disappearance.

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Yeah, and anyhow, there was some audio I was listening to.

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He would be first step to look at.

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Yeah, he's the reason Tyreek disappeared.

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I was listening to Keatsman's podcast, Kevin Keatsman's podcast, and he was talking about some...

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I love Kevin Keatsman.

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I do too.

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I need to look him up.

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I listened to him when I was in Kansas City.

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Yeah, yeah, and he does a podcast now.

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But then once I got away, I couldn't listen to him.

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You're telling me he has a podcast?

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I'm looking him up.

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Yeah, yeah, he has a podcast.

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It's on Podbean.

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Look up Podbean.

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It's an app, and he's on there, and you can find him real easily.

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He said he listened to some of their audio, and they were just badgering him.

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They're going, hey, you got to learn how to catch the ball, boy.

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Hey, what's wrong, man?

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Hey, hey, hey, Tyreek.

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Hey, what about your mouth?

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Hey, buddy, what's up, man?

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I mean, they were just badgering him and getting him out of his game.

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He was like losing it.

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He didn't know what to do.

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He made one really good catch and a touchdown.

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Then after that, he was shut out.

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They were smacking him so hard on the line that he was getting disoriented.

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He was like falling around.

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I mean, he looked like a clown out there.

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Well, before the game, he made a post before the game saying he knew what he was going into because the cold weather and stuff.

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Yeah, he did.

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And it was Kansas City.

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Yeah, so the thing is Tyreek needs to find a way to get the Dolphins to cut him and beg Kansas City to take him back.

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Right?

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Do we need him, though?

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Probably not, and they probably wouldn't.

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You don't need that.

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You don't need that on your team.

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You're doing this fine.

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We have Pacheco.

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Yeah, we got one without him, and we're trying to work our way to two.

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We have Pacheco, and we're yet to see about Hilaire.

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Hilaire is – okay, I think they're going to re-sign him because of this.

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They can get him for nothing.

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Well, he's been injured most of the year.

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Well, that's the problem.

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He's been injured – he's out of this rookie contract out of this year.

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He's been here five years.

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That's it.

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So he might get re-signed just because they can sign him on the cheap.

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That's the only reason.

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They're not going to sign him because he's a great running back.

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But I can tell you this.

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I see a developing guy that can catch the ball.

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If he can stay healthy, he is a very reliable tool.

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He told Mahomes, he said, you throw me the ball, I will catch it.

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And he has done that every time.

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Yeah, he has.

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Yeah.

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So I think that you have something to work with, and you can get him on the cheap.

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So why not re-sign him?

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You know, he makes a great backup to Pacheco, and he was running hard.

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Yeah, he does.

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He was running hard.

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See, that's what I was thinking.

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Because it started out Herrera was starter, Pacheco came in as backup.

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But then Herrera got injured, and Pacheco made his name, so now Herrera is backup.

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The plan all along was Pacheco being the starter because Herrera could not put a season together where he wasn't injured or had a good game running.

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I mean, I think he might have, out of all the games he played, I don't know if he even reached 100 yards on the ground.

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I don't know if he did.

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But right now, let's go into straight from Topher's desk.

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Yeah, what's Topher got to say?

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I ain't talked to my buddy in a long time.

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Well, we need to get him on the phone.

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He will.

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Yeah, we do.

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We just got to get the timing right, and we'll have a conversation, us three.

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So Topher's doing well, and we went and got coffee today, and he had some thoughts.

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That he wanted to share with Podcastland.

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So.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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He's always welcome.

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He topped me.

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A little bit later, we have emails.

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The way I looked at it, he tops me.

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Yeah.

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Okay, so here we go.

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Always cut off a Tesla on the freeway.

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The self-driving feature will stop the car from hitting you.

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He's right.

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Good point.

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Yeah.

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You pull in front of it, it'll stop.

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Because it's programmed to do so.

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Hey, hey, hey, yeah, I told you, I mentioned this here a little bit.

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Link Creek, Missouri has a Tesla for a police car.

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Pull in front of it and slam on your brakes.

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That'd be funny.

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When Topher said that, I was like, oh my God, that's brilliant.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's funny, just like that.

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I mentioned it here a little back, so.

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Link Creek, Missouri, very little money has a Tesla.

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Yeah, okay, so four lane, let's say you're in a four lane interstate highway, okay?

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You can go the left or the right.

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The left is, let's say, a Jeep.

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And the right is a Tesla.

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Pull in front of the Tesla, because that thing will stop.

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The Jeep, the guy may not see you and might run into you.

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So that is Topher's wisdom of the day.

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And now he has some more wisdom.

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I love it.

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He has some more wisdom if you live in California, Rob.

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He had done some checking, and you know the big electric car initiative.

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Oh, I am, yeah, me and Eric in California are getting pretty good buddies.

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Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the guy that showed his ass.

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I'm about to throw his skateboard brand.

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Yeah, Eric, Eric that won my ass picture.

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Yeah, there is an old promo that I need to bring back that said,

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send all your male body part pictures to Rob Radd's inbox.

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And that's exactly what happened.

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Three people sent him asshole pictures, because I claim that Rob liked to see the asshole in face.

254
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:18,800
Asshole up, and face turned around.

255
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:19,800
And Eric won it.

256
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:20,800
Yes.

257
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:24,800
And he's in Southern California.

258
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:27,800
He's a skateboarder, professional.

259
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:33,800
He just started his own line of skateboards.

260
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:43,800
Plus, they teach, he has a skateboard teaching class for kids to adult, to whoever.

261
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:44,800
Well, cool.

262
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,800
Eric's pretty good.

263
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:51,800
Whenever you want to drop the brand, that's fine.

264
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:53,800
I'm waiting on his word.

265
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:57,800
As a matter of fact, during the emails...

266
00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:58,800
He's just getting them on the market.

267
00:13:58,800 --> 00:13:59,800
Okay.

268
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:04,800
In the emails, we actually have a podcast from Des Moines that wants us to promote him,

269
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,800
because they know we're doing so well there.

270
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,800
Have you seen the Des Moines numbers, dude?

271
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:10,800
Des Moines?

272
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:15,800
They're our number one market, our number one market now.

273
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:20,800
Oh, that reminds me about something I told you about the other night.

274
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:21,800
Yeah, but you never did get to it.

275
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:23,800
But let me finish off Topher.

276
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:27,800
Yeah, well, it could be boring, but she's out of West Des Moines.

277
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:28,800
Okay.

278
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:29,800
All right.

279
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:32,800
Let me get to the rest of Topher's desk, and then we'll take a break, and then we'll come

280
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:33,800
back with a fresh slate.

281
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:34,800
That sound cool?

282
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:35,800
Let's do it.

283
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:36,800
Okay.

284
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:37,800
Okay.

285
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,800
The self-driving feature will stop the car from hitting you.

286
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,800
That was his first one.

287
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:47,800
So, the second one is, so you live in Cali, and you have an electric car.

288
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:48,800
Okay.

289
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:49,800
All good.

290
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:50,800
They have that initiative.

291
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,800
A lot of people bought them, got discounts on them.

292
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:59,800
Well, the laws of the states say that if the power it takes to charge the battery is needed

293
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:05,800
elsewhere, they have a right to shut off the power, and you not be able to charge your

294
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:07,800
car.

295
00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:13,800
And, if they need additional power, they can drain your battery and take that power as

296
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,800
well.

297
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:17,800
So, good luck electric car owners in California.

298
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:18,800
Oh, yeah.

299
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,800
Isn't that vicious?

300
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:21,800
Okay.

301
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,800
Now, wait a second.

302
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:24,800
Okay.

303
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,800
Are governments pushing these cars?

304
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:28,800
Yes.

305
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,800
But they're failing?

306
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:32,800
Yes.

307
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,800
Yeah.

308
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:37,800
Well, what do you think the government does?

309
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:40,800
I mean, the government's in charge of social security.

310
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:42,800
I mean, they're...

311
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:43,800
I mean, come on.

312
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:46,800
They replace the batteries in these cars?

313
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:50,800
Look, it costs you the same as a brand new car.

314
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:51,800
Yes.

315
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:54,800
Everything the government put their hands on is a complete failure.

316
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:57,800
So, why would we expect any different?

317
00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:59,800
So, yeah.

318
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:00,800
So, anyhow, go for the...

319
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:04,800
I would say something, but I'm not going to, because I wasn't going to aim at somebody,

320
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:05,800
but it's political, so I...

321
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:06,800
No, no, no.

322
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:07,800
You know what?

323
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:08,800
Here's the deal, man.

324
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:14,800
I think that everybody that listens to us has their opinion.

325
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:16,800
Yeah, and they all understand.

326
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:17,800
Yes.

327
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:19,800
And you know what?

328
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:21,800
The facts are out there.

329
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:23,800
The truth is out there.

330
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:28,800
And if you're smart enough and can see through the bullshit and the smoke show,

331
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,800
you can see what's really going on.

332
00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:35,800
And I would like to think, even though we're Dick and Burt jokes,

333
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:40,800
we still are cognizant and know what's going on.

334
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:41,800
And I think that just because...

335
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:44,800
Yeah, we're still bringing things to our list.

336
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,800
Just because our fans like Burt and Dick jokes...

337
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:48,800
That they need to hear.

338
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:52,800
Our fans like Burt and Dick jokes, that's fine.

339
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:53,800
They're still intelligent.

340
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:54,800
Yeah, we do them.

341
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:55,800
Well-rounded people.

342
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:58,800
I believe that well-rounded people like sick humor.

343
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:02,800
I think that humor is a sign of intelligence.

344
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:03,800
And so...

345
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:06,800
No, no, that's a scientific fact.

346
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:08,800
Yeah, well, yeah, it is.

347
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:11,800
No, I've seen research studies on it, yeah.

348
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:14,800
Yeah, yeah, it's pretty well known.

349
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,800
So I think that people that have an expanded sense of humor,

350
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:20,800
that like to listen to things like this, already know their opinion,

351
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,800
and are probably fairly accurate in it.

352
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:26,800
So, you know, the facts are there, and we don't have to say anything.

353
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,800
We don't have to get into anything.

354
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:31,800
All I've got to say is look around and see what's going on,

355
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:32,800
and see if you're happy with it.

356
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:36,800
Yeah, just leave it right there, and everybody can see it.

357
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:40,800
If you're happy with it, then you're going to get what you're getting.

358
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:43,800
If you're not happy with it, then okay.

359
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:48,800
So, all right, let's go ahead and take our first break, Rob.

360
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:49,800
Not yet.

361
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:50,800
Oh, okay, go ahead.

362
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:51,800
Not yet.

363
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,800
I have something to say.

364
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,800
All right.

365
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,800
Hi, Grandma Opal from God City.

366
00:17:58,800 --> 00:17:59,800
Oh, shit, thank you.

367
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:00,800
Grandma Opal, we love you.

368
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:01,800
We love you.

369
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:02,800
We wish you the best of luck.

370
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:03,800
We love you, darling.

371
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,800
Yeah, thank you for listening.

372
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:06,800
You are the best.

373
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:07,800
You are the best.

374
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:11,800
I've seen a picture of you when you were in your 20s in a swimsuit,

375
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:12,800
and you were one hot mama.

376
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:13,800
Did you?

377
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:14,800
Yes.

378
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:15,800
Not really.

379
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:16,800
I'm just fucking around.

380
00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:19,800
But anyhow, yeah, you were one hot chick.

381
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:20,800
Anyhow, Opal.

382
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:21,800
Well, I bet she was.

383
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,800
Oh, yeah, we know Opal is.

384
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:24,800
Opal's a hot name, right?

385
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:25,800
Yeah.

386
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:26,800
Yeah.

387
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:28,800
Oh, if she wasn't there, she's gotta be hot.

388
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:29,800
Yes.

389
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:30,800
So, Opal, thank you.

390
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:32,800
Anyhow, thank you, Rob.

391
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,800
Okay, we're going to be right back.

392
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:39,800
And when we get a chance to get on the phone, you will be there.

393
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:40,800
Yes.

394
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:45,800
We will send out where Grandma Opal can be on the phone with us.

395
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:47,800
I'd love to talk to her.

396
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:52,800
Her son is going to try to arrange that, but she's so hard of hearing that he doesn't think

397
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:53,800
it's going to go over very well.

398
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,800
So, anyhow, he's got the open invite.

399
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:57,800
He's got our number here.

400
00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:03,800
So, if he's over there on a Saturday evening when we're actually doing this podcast,

401
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:05,800
because he goes over there on the weekends to help her.

402
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,800
So, if he's over there on a Saturday evening.

403
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:08,800
I understand that.

404
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:11,800
Hey, hey, kudos, dude.

405
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,800
Yeah, he's a good guy.

406
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:15,800
His name is Jimmy.

407
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:16,800
You take care of your grandma.

408
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:20,800
I am your fan.

409
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:21,800
You're not my fan.

410
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:22,800
I am your fan.

411
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:24,800
His name is Jimmy.

412
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:29,800
He doesn't want his last name repeated because he's in some sort of...

413
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:30,800
Fine.

414
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:31,800
We don't do that anyway.

415
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:36,800
Yeah, he works in some sort of governmental office there in Kansas somewhere,

416
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,800
and he doesn't want his last name spoken.

417
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:39,800
That's fine.

418
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:42,800
We don't do last names.

419
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:43,800
We're a small podcast.

420
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:44,800
We don't have to.

421
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:45,800
Yeah.

422
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:49,800
So, anyhow, let's take our first break, Rob, and we're going to come back with more stuff.

423
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:50,800
How's that?

424
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,800
That sounds good.

425
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:54,800
All right.

426
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:55,800
We'll be right back, guys.

427
00:19:55,800 --> 00:20:02,800
Once again, it's time for Ramblings of a Madman.

428
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:14,800
I believe Congress needs to synchronize tap dance for 20 minutes before each session.

429
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,800
That needs to happen.

430
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:18,800
Hello.

431
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:19,800
This is Satan.

432
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,800
You might know me from the movie.

433
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,800
This is Satan.

434
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,800
You might know me from my pet name, Inflation.

435
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:35,800
I'm here to tell you that there's no better way to relax than listening to two douchebags

436
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:39,800
and microphone by a nice warm fire at night.

437
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:44,800
I sit there and I reflect on all the souls I burned that day.

438
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:46,800
Enjoy.

439
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:48,800
Bye.

440
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:52,800
Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.

441
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:58,800
Baseball's third season of the year begins tonight.

442
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,800
Yay.

443
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:01,800
Oh, shit.

444
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,800
What's that over there?

445
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:04,800
Oh, no.

446
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:06,800
It's an island of horrible jokes.

447
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:11,800
Ugh.

448
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:18,800
Why did the melons not get married?

449
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:20,800
Because they can't elope.

450
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,800
Ha ha ha ha ha.

451
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:34,800
Oh, Lord.

452
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:37,800
That man just saw a puppy in half.

453
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:38,800
Hey there.

454
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,800
Don't worry.

455
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,800
I have a clown nose.

456
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:46,800
Oh, no.

457
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,800
That drunk guy just hit my child.

458
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,800
It's okay.

459
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,800
I have a clown nose.

460
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:54,800
Clown nose.

461
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:57,800
Just put one on and you can do anything.

462
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:58,800
Want to run for office?

463
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:00,800
Murder people in public?

464
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:04,800
Just grab a clown nose and bam, everyone laughs.

465
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,800
Clown noses are sold at gag stores online and pedophile conventions.

466
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:09,800
I'm going to make magic happen today.

467
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:12,800
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

468
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,800
It's strange insults from an alien.

469
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:17,800
Real hilarity.

470
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:28,800
You are dressed like an assistant debate coach at an Ohio State middle school.

471
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:46,800
And we are back.

472
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:48,800
Two douchebags and a microphone.

473
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:49,800
I'm Mark.

474
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:52,800
And I'm Robert and that was Quint.

475
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:53,800
Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep.

476
00:22:53,800 --> 00:23:00,800
You probably heard some little giggles and ha ha's and bad jokes and farts and clucks and everything.

477
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:02,800
But we're back.

478
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:03,800
Okay.

479
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:14,800
Rob, you got anything you want to say before I go into a diner owner that uses bacon grease to make money and also emails?

480
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,800
Well, actually, I have a store.

481
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:21,800
I have something I have to get out there because I owe it.

482
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:22,800
Yes. Yes.

483
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:23,800
You do.

484
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:30,800
The last time we podcasted, we did two right row back to back.

485
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:31,800
Yep.

486
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:34,800
I did one.

487
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:38,800
And I have the final.

488
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:44,800
Which I did it on the second part of the night, but I did not.

489
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:46,800
I have the final hillbilly wisdom.

490
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:47,800
You know what?

491
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:52,800
It was so good it needed it needed some space from the others.

492
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:56,800
Well, well, it was a stand.

493
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:57,800
It was a stand.

494
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:00,800
So that for a day's day, I should have done the second one.

495
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:01,800
I did not.

496
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:02,800
That was my bad.

497
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:03,800
Oh, well.

498
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:04,800
All right.

499
00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:05,800
Well, roll with it.

500
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:06,800
Roll.

501
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:07,800
I have it now.

502
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,800
All right.

503
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:11,800
Okay.

504
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:14,800
Tonight's.

505
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:24,800
Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.

506
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:26,800
You got to love that wisdom.

507
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:28,800
Oh, my God.

508
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:29,800
Oh, yeah.

509
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:30,800
Yeah.

510
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:31,800
That's cool.

511
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:32,800
That needed to be standalone, Rob.

512
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:33,800
That was that good.

513
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:34,800
So.

514
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,800
Oh, I'll say all of you do.

515
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:39,800
Honestly, I love these.

516
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:40,800
Yeah.

517
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:41,800
They're it's a fantastic segment.

518
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:46,800
I hope you could scrounge up some more of them because it's fantastic.

519
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,800
They're all true, too.

520
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:49,800
So.

521
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:52,800
Well, wait till you get to this next one.

522
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:53,800
Okay, go ahead.

523
00:24:53,800 --> 00:25:04,800
If you get to take in your person of influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.

524
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:09,800
True again.

525
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:11,800
Oh, my God.

526
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:16,800
There is so much to reach in that.

527
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:17,800
Yeah.

528
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:18,800
All right.

529
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:19,800
Next.

530
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:20,800
Okay.

531
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:21,800
Next up.

532
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:24,800
Live a good and honorable life.

533
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:35,800
Then when you get older and think back, you don't enjoy it a second time.

534
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:38,800
Another solid one.

535
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:42,800
Now that I'm over 50, I feel that so much more.

536
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:43,800
Absolutely.

537
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:44,800
Yes.

538
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:45,800
Agreed.

539
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:46,800
Okay.

540
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:47,800
Next up.

541
00:25:47,800 --> 00:26:04,800
Live simply, live generously, live deeply, speak kindly, leave the rest to God.

542
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:07,800
100,000 percent.

543
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:08,800
I'm not going to let go and let God.

544
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:09,800
Honestly.

545
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:10,800
Okay.

546
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:14,800
We do not get religious here, but this was in the report.

547
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:16,800
I'm just saying this right here.

548
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:20,800
When I quit worrying about things and I just let God handle it.

549
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:22,800
Yeah, we let God handle it.

550
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:24,800
Look, you can believe in anything you want.

551
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:25,800
I don't care.

552
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:27,800
This is a free country, freedom of religion.

553
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:29,800
So you can worship anything.

554
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:30,800
I don't care if you worship a pencil.

555
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:31,800
That's you.

556
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:32,800
Okay.

557
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:37,800
I'm not going to let God control me and the God that I believe in.

558
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:50,800
Once I realized that I had no control over anything and I handed it to God, I've been a much happier person and a much more fulfilled person.

559
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:56,800
It's been fantastic because what needed to happen happened, not what I thought needed to happen.

560
00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:59,800
Does that make sense?

561
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:00,800
Oh, no.

562
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:01,800
Trust me.

563
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:03,800
I used to be an assistant youth pastor.

564
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:04,800
Okay.

565
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:06,800
I thought I had a vision of what needed to happen in my life.

566
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:08,800
Which we can go into some other time.

567
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:12,800
But when I quit asking for that and I told God to do what he needed to do.

568
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,800
God, do what you need to do.

569
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:16,800
It happened.

570
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:18,800
It all worked out so well.

571
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:19,800
It happened.

572
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:20,800
Yeah.

573
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:22,800
So anyhow, I'm not here to give a sermon or preach.

574
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:23,800
Like I said, we're...

575
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:28,800
Right now, we do not get political or religion.

576
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:29,800
Yep.

577
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:35,800
But I used to be a volunteer youth pastor.

578
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:36,800
That's cool, Rob.

579
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:38,800
I am religion in my background.

580
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:39,800
That's very cool.

581
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,800
I really respect that, Rob.

582
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:43,800
That's very cool.

583
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:46,800
Now, do I live it like it today?

584
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:47,800
Hell no.

585
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:48,800
Me neither, man.

586
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:49,800
I mean, listen to this podcast.

587
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:50,800
I'm filthy.

588
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:52,800
I know this.

589
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:55,800
I have a lot in my life that I need to clean up.

590
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:58,800
And you know, I think we all do.

591
00:27:58,800 --> 00:27:59,800
We all do.

592
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:00,800
We all do.

593
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:01,800
So, but isn't that...

594
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:05,800
That's why we are doing it, to get it out of our minds.

595
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,800
Yeah, we can get this out of our system.

596
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:13,800
So anyhow, I would like to think that we entertain quite a few people.

597
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:15,800
Yes, yes.

598
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:19,800
Well, we check out RSS.com.

599
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:20,800
We know we do.

600
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:22,800
I cannot believe Des Moines.

601
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:24,800
You guys are awesome, man.

602
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:26,800
They're our number one market.

603
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:27,800
They skyrocketed.

604
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:30,800
Again, they went all the way up.

605
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:34,800
They're above Kansas City, our home base.

606
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:35,800
They're above?

607
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:36,800
They're above.

608
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:38,800
Look at RSS when you get in touch.

609
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:42,800
Okay, I looked this morning and they were still below.

610
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:44,800
Okay, hang on.

611
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:45,800
I think...

612
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:49,800
But I don't think mine's updating or something.

613
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:50,800
I don't think so.

614
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:51,800
Hang on.

615
00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:55,800
Let me look right now and we'll get out of this so we don't bore the people because they

616
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:57,800
probably don't care about what we do.

617
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:05,800
Well, while you're looking that up, let me give you the final hillbilly wisdom.

618
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:06,800
Okay, sorry.

619
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:09,800
I kind of like curveballed that.

620
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:12,800
No, you're right.

621
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:15,800
The final hillbilly wisdom.

622
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:16,800
Okay.

623
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:24,800
Most time it just gets down to common sense.

624
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:25,800
Yeah.

625
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:29,800
Okay, here's what I got here at RSS.

626
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:30,800
That's it.

627
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:31,800
That's it.

628
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:32,800
Not available.

629
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:33,800
Okay, go ahead.

630
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:34,800
Go ahead.

631
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:40,800
Not available so we don't know where it's coming from is our first with the most hits.

632
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:41,800
Des Moines is second.

633
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:43,800
Kansas City is third.

634
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:45,800
Harrisonville is fourth.

635
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:47,800
Holy shit.

636
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:48,800
Yeah.

637
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:52,800
Yeah, see, I looked earlier this morning.

638
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:55,800
Yeah, I must be lagging.

639
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:56,800
Let me go into emails.

640
00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:58,800
I got one from Harrisonville, dude.

641
00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:00,800
You got to hear this.

642
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:02,800
Okay, well, I'm going to...

643
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:05,800
That was the very last hillbilly wisdom.

644
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:06,800
That's awesome, dude.

645
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:07,800
I loved it.

646
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:14,800
Yeah, we love it and I hope all of our listeners love it.

647
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:15,800
Oh, I think they do.

648
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:17,800
I will come up with another list.

649
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:22,800
Okay, so let's go ahead and go into emails because I want to get to Harrisonville.

650
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:23,800
Let's go to emails.

651
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:29,800
Not only do we have an incredible amount of hits from that town of about 7,000 people

652
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:33,800
or something like that, 5,000 to 7,000 people, somewhere in there.

653
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:36,800
Hey, D-Bags, I listen in Harrisonville.

654
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:37,800
I really enjoy the show.

655
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:41,800
You and Rob have the Cass County warped sense of humor.

656
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:42,800
I agree.

657
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:44,800
That's because we grew up there.

658
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:49,800
Well, look, living out there in the sticks and not having anything to do...

659
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:50,800
I grew up in Belton.

660
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:51,800
He grew up in Cleveland.

661
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:57,800
Living out there in the sticks and not having anything to do made you use your imagination.

662
00:30:57,800 --> 00:30:59,800
Otherwise, you're going to be bored to death.

663
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:04,800
So you and Rob have that Cass County warped sense of humor, which I agree.

664
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:06,800
Why do you think that is?

665
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:08,800
And I just said why I think that is.

666
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:09,800
It's because...

667
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:12,800
Yeah, yeah, we both just did because we grew up there.

668
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:17,800
Yeah, it's just like I was talking about before about how I used to get into art.

669
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:22,800
I listened to WLS out of Chicago because at night they would turn their power up

670
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:26,800
and 890 would turn their power down in Kansas City.

671
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:28,800
890 was a religious station about 7 o'clock on Friday.

672
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:29,800
And they would believe truth.

673
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:33,800
Yes, and I could pick it up clear as a bell here in Kansas City.

674
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:39,800
And anyhow, I was a hero because they would release songs to Chicago

675
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:42,800
much quicker than they would to Kansas City.

676
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:45,800
And then I remember like Heavy Metal by Don Felder.

677
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:49,800
The movie came out and I identified the song right off.

678
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:51,800
And people were like, oh wow, what is this?

679
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:53,800
You know the guy from the Eagles, Don Felder?

680
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:54,800
That's him.

681
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:56,800
Yeah, you just talked about that like couple of podcasts.

682
00:31:56,800 --> 00:32:02,800
Yeah, yeah, but while I was listening and absorbing these great personalities

683
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:07,800
and being descriptive and all this stuff, you know,

684
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:12,800
I was drawing on the walls and stuff and painting on the walls.

685
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:13,800
They're still there.

686
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:15,800
Well, no, no, actually I tore it down.

687
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:17,800
You're in the garage.

688
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:18,800
Yeah, in the garage.

689
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:20,800
So that's what it was.

690
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:23,800
So yeah, in the same way with you, Rob,

691
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:29,800
it made you use your creativity because there was absolutely nothing else to do.

692
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:38,800
Well, I'm down here now and all I do is go to work and I come home.

693
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,800
So this gives me something to do.

694
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:46,800
It brings me back to yesteryear.

695
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:47,800
It really does.

696
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:51,800
And I could be, I'm being more myself.

697
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:54,800
I'm opening up, I'm being more myself.

698
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:55,800
That's cool.

699
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:57,800
Like I should be.

700
00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:00,800
I closed down for a while, dude.

701
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:05,800
I'm glad it's working for you, Rob, because I enjoy doing it too.

702
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:06,800
Oh, I love it.

703
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:07,800
So this guy goes on to say,

704
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:11,800
Cass County has always been the Misfit Capital.

705
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:12,800
Thank you.

706
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:15,800
P.S. I bet you can't beat me in pinball.

707
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:19,800
I bet you're wondering, Mark, are we talking 7-Eleven Belton

708
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:23,800
or the old arcade in H-Ville?

709
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:25,800
Pete, in Harrisonville.

710
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:27,800
7-Eleven Belton.

711
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:28,800
No, this guy knows.

712
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:30,800
This guy knows all of it.

713
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:34,800
The 7-Eleven Belton Pinball and then the ones in Harrisonville.

714
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:37,800
This guy grew up with 7-Eleven Belton.

715
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:39,800
He may even know me.

716
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:40,800
I'm sure he does.

717
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:42,800
I'm sure he does.

718
00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:45,800
7-Eleven Belton, he probably knows me.

719
00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:46,800
Yeah, listen.

720
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,800
He goes, okay, he goes, I bet you can't beat me in pinball.

721
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:53,800
I bet you're wondering, Mark, are you talking 7-Eleven Belton

722
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:58,800
or the old arcade in H-Ville?

723
00:33:58,800 --> 00:33:59,800
Both.

724
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:02,800
That guy hung out with us, but he's not revealing who he is.

725
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:03,800
Yeah.

726
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:05,800
So, anyhow.

727
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:07,800
Well, I'll tell you what.

728
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:13,800
I will open up a challenge.

729
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:15,800
Good, okay.

730
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:18,800
He's got to beat me to get to you.

731
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:19,800
All right.

732
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:21,800
Okay, Pete in Harrisonville.

733
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:23,800
Make yourself known.

734
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:25,800
We will play you in pinball anytime, anywhere.

735
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:27,800
Let's get together.

736
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:29,800
I'm ready for a game of pinball, man.

737
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:31,800
I'm in this pinball.

738
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:34,800
I'll stomp your ass just on what I remember.

739
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:35,800
So bring it on, Pete.

740
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:36,800
We're ready.

741
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:39,800
Rob will stomp your ass before I even get to you.

742
00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:43,800
You beat me, you can get the mark.

743
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:44,800
There we go.

744
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:45,800
The challenge is out there.

745
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:46,800
That's the deal.

746
00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:48,800
In Harrisonville, we're ready.

747
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:51,800
Love you, Harrisonville.

748
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:53,800
Yeah, and we love you, Pete, whoever the hell you are.

749
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:55,800
All right.

750
00:34:55,800 --> 00:35:00,800
The next one is, hey, guys, I think Ruth Ann should be up for an ass paddling.

751
00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:01,800
Just saying.

752
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:03,800
Jake in Vermont.

753
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:07,800
Jake, she's not listening anymore.

754
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:09,800
You're not going to bother her.

755
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:10,800
She's not listening.

756
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:11,800
No, no.

757
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:12,800
At this point.

758
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:15,800
She's madder than hell.

759
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:22,800
If Ruth Ann gets an ass paddling, it's behind my closed doors.

760
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:23,800
I protected her.

761
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:25,800
I tried to protect her.

762
00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:27,800
I know, I know, and she's punishing you to get to me.

763
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:30,800
So if she wants her ass paddled, it's behind my closed doors.

764
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:33,800
Rob, I'm so sorry she chose to hurt you to get to me.

765
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:35,800
I'm so sorry about that.

766
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:37,800
I know that you're deeply wounded.

767
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:42,800
I love how she was firing you up, dude.

768
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:43,800
Yeah, Ruth Ann.

769
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:45,800
Come on now, be a human.

770
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:46,800
Come on, girl.

771
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:47,800
Come on.

772
00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:49,800
Rob did nothing to you.

773
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:51,800
You start listening for Rob.

774
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,800
I'll let you back, Ruth Ann.

775
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:55,800
Yeah.

776
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:57,800
You're my teammate here.

777
00:35:57,800 --> 00:35:59,800
I know.

778
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:00,800
All right.

779
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:01,800
Next one.

780
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:03,800
Hey, dudes, Des Moines checking in here.

781
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:06,800
I listen regularly and I have my own podcast.

782
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:09,800
I'm trying to get traction in my hometown of Des Moines.

783
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:12,800
Could you promote my podcast, please?

784
00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:15,800
The name is The Circle with Kurt.

785
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:19,800
This is a podcast about strange but true events all over the world.

786
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:21,800
Thank you in advance, Kurt.

787
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:22,800
Okay.

788
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:24,800
Oh, Kurt.

789
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:31,800
Oh, you need to give Kurt my email, my phone number, whatever.

790
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:33,800
He needs to get the hold of me.

791
00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:35,800
Kurt, do that.

792
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:37,800
Go to our Facebook page.

793
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:38,800
Get a hold of Rob.

794
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:39,800
Go to his.

795
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:44,800
So, yeah, it is.

796
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:47,800
Okay, I'm going to throw this out there one time.

797
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:48,800
Okay.

798
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:55,800
Kurt, Robert Radford on Facebook.

799
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:58,800
My name is Robert Radford.

800
00:36:58,800 --> 00:36:59,800
There you go.

801
00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:01,800
Look him up and get a hold of him.

802
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:02,800
Look me up.

803
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:05,800
I really want to talk to you about this.

804
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:08,800
It is called, his podcast is called.

805
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:10,800
That is up my alley.

806
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:12,800
The Circle with Kurt.

807
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:14,800
So everybody out there, give him a try.

808
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:15,800
Listen to it.

809
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:16,800
Listen to it.

810
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:18,800
I'm sure it's good.

811
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:20,800
Well, isn't that nice?

812
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:23,800
I might be able to pick up a side gig other than you.

813
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:25,800
Hell yeah.

814
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:27,800
Okay.

815
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:28,800
Next one.

816
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:31,800
Again, could you please save the sports for a weekly sports show?

817
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:34,800
Well, too late for that.

818
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:36,800
That way the sports fanatics can download.

819
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:38,800
We're in playoffs.

820
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:39,800
Yeah.

821
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:41,800
No, we're not stopping.

822
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:42,800
I'm sorry.

823
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:43,800
Sports is, yeah.

824
00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:47,800
The sports went way back to Topher and we're not stopping them now.

825
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:49,800
It's a big part of the show.

826
00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:51,800
We've always enjoyed sports.

827
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:55,800
And we are the first to mother fuck the NFL if we see something wrong.

828
00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:57,800
So, you know, it's not all sports.

829
00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:04,800
We do talk business about the business of the NFL and the business of Major League Baseball and all of that.

830
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:06,800
So it's not just sports.

831
00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:09,800
But no, man, too many people like it, obviously.

832
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:12,800
Yeah, it is a deal.

833
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:20,800
We talk about sports because we don't talk about religion and politics.

834
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:21,800
Yes.

835
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:22,800
It's another...

836
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:24,800
We've got to have something to talk about.

837
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:25,800
Why not sports?

838
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:28,800
Sports is a common ground for a lot of people.

839
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:29,800
Anyhow.

840
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:30,800
Exactly.

841
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:31,800
Yeah.

842
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:35,800
Fortunately, my daughter-in-law didn't understand that.

843
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:37,800
Oh, okay.

844
00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:40,800
Well, anyhow, you went on to say not angry or being a dick.

845
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:45,800
I just think it would work better by doing a one-off or a two-off or once a week or...

846
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:47,800
We're in discussions with that.

847
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:50,800
The problem is we need the time is the problem.

848
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:55,800
We both work a full-time job and we have different hours.

849
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:59,800
So what you're getting right now is what we can provide right now.

850
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:04,800
Well, plus we're going off our timing, which is recorded.

851
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:05,800
Yes.

852
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:06,800
I mean, really...

853
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:11,800
And right now we're Tuesday night, so we're coming off the weekends games.

854
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:12,800
Yes.

855
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:14,800
And another thing is...

856
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:15,800
Yeah?

857
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:17,800
And we're into playoffs.

858
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:18,800
Yeah.

859
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:22,800
So, you know, I mean, sorry, but...

860
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:24,800
And he didn't leave a name here.

861
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:27,800
Sorry, whoever you are, but it's going to continue.

862
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:30,800
And anyhow, we don't have time...

863
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:32,800
Well, no, let me retract that, Mark.

864
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:33,800
Okay.

865
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:34,800
Let me retract that.

866
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:37,800
Okay, retract it.

867
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:42,800
After football season, we're going to have to come up with something else to talk about.

868
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:43,800
That's a good idea.

869
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:45,800
Okay, there you go.

870
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:46,800
There you go, buddy.

871
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:47,800
There you go, buddy.

872
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:49,800
I'm listening to you.

873
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:51,800
That was a great action.

874
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:55,800
Let us get through football season and you can have your way.

875
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:57,800
You ought to be a PR agent.

876
00:39:57,800 --> 00:39:59,800
That was perfect.

877
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:01,800
Then a fellow will be over here.

878
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:05,800
I'm talking about checking out soccer myself.

879
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:09,800
Well, enough people like it.

880
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:10,800
Okay.

881
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:11,800
Well, I hope.

882
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:14,800
They change it from football to soccer.

883
00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:15,800
Who knows?

884
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:16,800
Yeah, yeah.

885
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:18,800
Maybe we'll do it just to piss you off, whoever you are.

886
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:19,800
Not really.

887
00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:20,800
Anyhow...

888
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:27,800
Or we could go floating down a river in southern Missouri butt-ass naked.

889
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:28,800
You know?

890
00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:30,800
We could do whatever.

891
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:35,800
I've got to tell you what I saw in Noel, Missouri, and then we'll go to the last and final email

892
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:36,800
that I got.

893
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:39,800
Now let's go to the email.

894
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:41,800
Hang on.

895
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:44,800
Oh, well, if it fits into that one, yeah.

896
00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:46,800
It fits in right now.

897
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:47,800
Okay.

898
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:48,800
That's a story.

899
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:49,800
Okay.

900
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:53,800
Me and my friend Mac were at the Elk River in Noel, Missouri, right?

901
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:54,800
Then we're floating...

902
00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:55,800
Yeah, I know that one.

903
00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:56,800
I know that one.

904
00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:57,800
Okay.

905
00:40:57,800 --> 00:40:58,800
We were floating down the river.

906
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:00,800
You know, we had our PBR tied to us.

907
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:01,800
Okay.

908
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:04,800
And Mac goes, dude, we see this...

909
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:07,800
Because it's too damn hot, you've got to keep your beard in the water.

910
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:08,800
Yeah.

911
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:09,800
And it's spring water, so it's...

912
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:10,800
Floating next to you.

913
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:11,800
Yeah.

914
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:12,800
So it's cold.

915
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:13,800
Yeah, it's cold.

916
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:21,040
So anyhow, there's this really hot Ellie Mae looking chick in a red bikini on one of the

917
00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:23,800
bridges that go over the Elk River.

918
00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:26,800
And Mac goes, she's making fart noises with her tits.

919
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:27,800
I'm like, what?

920
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:29,800
I was like, dude, you're fucking smashed.

921
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:30,800
I look up there...

922
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:31,800
I want to be her.

923
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:36,800
She had a straw, and she's pushing her tits together, and she's making fart noises.

924
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:41,800
And we're like, oh my God, only in Noel, Missouri will you see that.

925
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:44,800
I'm in love with that woman already.

926
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:47,800
It was fantastic.

927
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:48,800
And then I also see the guy...

928
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:52,800
If any women listening that can do that, I will love you forever.

929
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:55,800
Rob Radford on Facebook.

930
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:57,800
So there you go.

931
00:41:57,800 --> 00:41:59,800
You got to send Rob a...

932
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:02,800
Yeah, just don't get me confused with my son.

933
00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:04,800
My boy is my son.

934
00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:08,800
You're like, dad, your idiot fans got a hold of me again.

935
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:15,800
Okay, last but not least, we got to go to Montrose.

936
00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:17,800
You know, Montrose emails every...

937
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:19,800
Oh, I love Montrose.

938
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:20,800
Got to get Montrose.

939
00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:24,800
The Joe of Henry County, the Ruby of Henry County.

940
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:26,800
The Ruby of Henry County has to speak up.

941
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:29,800
They have to have their say in every podcast.

942
00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:30,800
Yeah, they do.

943
00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:31,800
Here we go.

944
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:33,800
They have every right on this show.

945
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:34,800
Yep.

946
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:36,800
Where's my 72 Coupe de Ville bumper at?

947
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:38,800
I thought you were going to...

948
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:40,800
I'm looking.

949
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:44,800
I thought you were going to the Jewel of Henry County Montrose

950
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:46,800
and retrieving my bumper.

951
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:50,800
Thanks in advance, Willie and Titewad.

952
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:54,800
Okay, Willie, Willie, Willie, Willie, Willie, Willie.

953
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:57,800
I'm looking down here at the Lake Even.

954
00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:00,800
A 72 Coupe de Ville is hard to find.

955
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:03,800
They're not that easy to find, Willie.

956
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:06,800
I'm looking all over the junkyards down here

957
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:08,800
Lake and Hills Arch even.

958
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:10,800
Just an hour from you.

959
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:12,800
And then we had a follow-up email.

960
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:14,800
This is the last one here.

961
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:15,800
This is Jeffy at Montrose.

962
00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:17,800
That bumper is mine.

963
00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:19,800
Don't let anyone else have it.

964
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:24,800
Ha ha ha ha.

965
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:26,800
Oh, shit.

966
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:30,800
Jeffy was the first one to claim the 72 Coupe de Ville.

967
00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:32,800
So, Willie, you got to have to wait

968
00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:34,800
as soon as Rob finds you.

969
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:36,800
Yeah, but Jeffy was wanting us to go to Montrose

970
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:39,800
to find us a bitch.

971
00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:40,800
Yeah.

972
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:42,800
And evidently, he's got it.

973
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:44,800
He lives in Montrose.

974
00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:48,800
That's why I've been looking for another one.

975
00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:50,800
I've been looking down here.

976
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:51,800
They're hard to come by.

977
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:54,800
Jeffy and Willie, we're looking for a 72 Coupe de Ville bumper.

978
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:55,800
They're hard to come by.

979
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:56,800
They are.

980
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:58,800
But when we find them, they're yours.

981
00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:00,800
Rob is going to put your name on it physically

982
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:03,800
and we will deliver them to you by hand.

983
00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:04,800
Right?

984
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:09,800
Honestly, God, I am looking for a 72 bumper Cadillac.

985
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:10,800
Rob and I are putting on the gloves,

986
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:13,800
leather gloves, and we're going to grab this bumper

987
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:15,800
and bring them to you.

988
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:17,800
So, anyhow, let's take a break.

989
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:22,800
And I'm also still looking for the front quarter panel

990
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:24,800
for the Vega.

991
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:26,800
Vega, the Chevy Vega, yeah.

992
00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:27,800
Yeah, yeah.

993
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:28,800
No, I got it.

994
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:29,800
I'm working on it.

995
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:30,800
Rob's on it, man.

996
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:32,800
Hey, look, he's going to find the compounder.

997
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:33,800
I'm fine.

998
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:36,800
It's just those are the two hardest vehicles

999
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:37,800
to find parts for.

1000
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:40,800
Yes, I know.

1001
00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:43,800
That just shows you how original the people that listen are.

1002
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:45,800
That's awesome.

1003
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:46,800
I love them.

1004
00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:47,800
Dude, that's a good...

1005
00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:48,800
I love our listeners.

1006
00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:49,800
It's a compliment to us that we get...

1007
00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:51,800
They keep us going.

1008
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:54,800
It's a compliment to us that we get such witty responses.

1009
00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:56,800
I mean, it really is.

1010
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:57,800
It is a compliment.

1011
00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:00,800
It's because it means that witty people listen to us,

1012
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:02,800
and that's a compliment.

1013
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:03,800
So, man...

1014
00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:07,800
Well, it's just people with our thought process,

1015
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:08,800
we'll put it that way.

1016
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:09,800
Yes.

1017
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:10,800
Yes.

1018
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:14,800
Anyhow, the pinball challenge is out there, whoever you are.

1019
00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:17,800
You got to take me on first.

1020
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:18,800
Yeah, yeah.

1021
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:20,800
You got to take Rob on and then me.

1022
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:21,800
To give mark.

1023
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:22,800
Yep, yep.

1024
00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:25,800
I am standing in the corner, looking dangerous,

1025
00:45:25,800 --> 00:45:27,800
smoking a cigarette, and I don't even smoke,

1026
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:29,800
and sitting there...

1027
00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:33,800
And I'm a little dangerous when it comes to a pinball.

1028
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:38,800
My hair greased back, and my Levi's tucked up,

1029
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:40,800
and a T-shirt.

1030
00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:42,800
Are we wearing our leather jackets?

1031
00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:44,800
Yes, and a leather jacket, and I'm waiting...

1032
00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:46,800
Oh, we're wearing leather jackets.

1033
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:47,800
Yeah, mine's right here.

1034
00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:48,800
I'm looking at it right now.

1035
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:50,800
I'm waiting for you to beat Rob,

1036
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:53,800
and then you got to come over and beat the cool guy, me.

1037
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:56,800
Well, Rob's cool too, but Rob threw down the gauntlet

1038
00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:58,800
a little bit ago, and he said,

1039
00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:00,800
you got to get through him to get to me.

1040
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:01,800
So...

1041
00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:02,800
Yep.

1042
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:03,800
There you go.

1043
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:05,800
Hey, that's what friends do for each other.

1044
00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:06,800
That's right.

1045
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:09,800
And I was not too damn shabby...

1046
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:14,800
Well, still, I'm not too damn shabby at pinball.

1047
00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:16,800
I would like to thank the residual effects

1048
00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:18,800
of learning pinball all those years.

1049
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:20,800
I would still be good at it,

1050
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:22,800
because when I took up Gallaga again,

1051
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:26,800
when I bought that old arcade machine from the guy in Belton,

1052
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:28,800
it's got like 60 of the arcade games,

1053
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:31,800
I picked up on Gallaga and Pac-Man where I left off.

1054
00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:32,800
I remembered it.

1055
00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:34,800
My muscle memory was spot on.

1056
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:36,800
I remember the patterns on Pac-Man.

1057
00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:38,800
I remembered how to play Gallaga.

1058
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:40,800
Okay, but see, here's the problem.

1059
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:41,800
Okay.

1060
00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:43,800
You're not playing it.

1061
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:46,800
It's not pinball.

1062
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:49,800
Well, they have that new electric pinball.

1063
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:50,800
I don't want to play that.

1064
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:52,800
I want to play the real pinball.

1065
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:54,800
The fuck electric pinball?

1066
00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:55,800
No, no, that's the big rage now.

1067
00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:57,800
People are buying video game pinballs

1068
00:46:57,800 --> 00:46:59,800
that are in the shape of pinballs,

1069
00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:00,800
but slightly smaller.

1070
00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:01,800
They're in a pinball machine,

1071
00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:03,800
but they're slightly smaller.

1072
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:04,800
Yeah, yeah.

1073
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:05,800
No, no, no.

1074
00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:07,800
We're talking about real pinball.

1075
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:08,800
That's pussy shit.

1076
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:10,800
Real pinball with real flippers.

1077
00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:12,800
I would prefer Elvira,

1078
00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:14,800
but if we can't get Elvira,

1079
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:16,800
then there's other good ones.

1080
00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:18,800
The Kiss one is good just because...

1081
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:24,800
Yeah, my buddy in Belton,

1082
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:28,800
actually his dad used to be

1083
00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:31,800
a sheriff in Belton.

1084
00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:33,800
Well, I think that...

1085
00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:36,800
Oh yeah, yeah, I remember him.

1086
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:38,800
F-O-O-T-E.

1087
00:47:38,800 --> 00:47:42,800
Who? F-O-O-T-E, yeah.

1088
00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:47,800
Well, his son was a close friend

1089
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:50,800
of mine when we were in school.

1090
00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:51,800
Uh-huh.

1091
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:54,800
I would go over to his house.

1092
00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:58,800
He had a Kiss pinball machine.

1093
00:47:58,800 --> 00:47:59,800
At his house?

1094
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:04,800
In his bedroom in the early, early 80s.

1095
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:05,800
Oh man.

1096
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:07,800
His dad had money.

1097
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:11,800
He would have had to put in a big sheriff, yeah.

1098
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:13,800
Well, I'm trying...

1099
00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:17,800
I'm in the middle of finding...

1100
00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:20,800
Old pinball games are hard to find now.

1101
00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:22,800
People bought them and put them in their own games.

1102
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:24,800
I'm going to go ahead and throw the name out there.

1103
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:26,800
Go ahead.

1104
00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:29,800
How you doing, Troy?

1105
00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:30,800
Troy?

1106
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:31,800
I hope you... yeah.

1107
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:34,800
I hope we still have that Kiss pinball machine.

1108
00:48:34,800 --> 00:48:35,800
He still wasn't built.

1109
00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:37,800
Yeah, well, ask him if we can borrow it

1110
00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:38,800
to beat whatever his name is.

1111
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:41,800
I forgot.

1112
00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:43,800
Well, let me see if I can get a hold of it.

1113
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:45,800
Get a hold of it and say the gauntlet is thrown down.

1114
00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:47,800
So, so-and-so from Harrisonville.

1115
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:49,800
I really ought to go look at the emails,

1116
00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:52,800
but I'm too lazy to.

1117
00:48:52,800 --> 00:48:54,800
I forgot your name in Harrisonville.

1118
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:55,800
It's on.

1119
00:48:55,800 --> 00:48:56,800
We even got the pinball machine.

1120
00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:57,800
So there.

1121
00:48:57,800 --> 00:48:58,800
Yeah, we're on.

1122
00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:01,800
You got to come through me to get the mark.

1123
00:49:01,800 --> 00:49:02,800
All right.

1124
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:03,800
Let's take our second break.

1125
00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:04,800
We're going to come back.

1126
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:08,800
You got any story you want to get to, Rob?

1127
00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:10,800
Yeah, I can tell him about the sum.

1128
00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:11,800
I can tell him about the day.

1129
00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:13,800
If not, I got a million stories here or so.

1130
00:49:13,800 --> 00:49:14,800
Anyhow.

1131
00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:15,800
All right.

1132
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:16,800
We'll figure it out when we get back.

1133
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:17,800
We'll talk.

1134
00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:18,800
Ho, ho, ho.

1135
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:20,800
This is Crotch the Old Saint Prick.

1136
00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:23,800
I'm the guy that comes in after Christmas

1137
00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:26,800
and douses all your dreams and hopes.

1138
00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:27,800
Ho, ho, ho.

1139
00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:29,800
Oh, well, lookie here.

1140
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:33,800
My first letter is from little Timmy from Akron, Ohio.

1141
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:37,800
It says, Dear Crotch the Old Saint Prick,

1142
00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:40,800
I would love to have a new bicycle.

1143
00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:46,800
Well, little Timmy, I have a poem for you.

1144
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:51,800
It goes, Roses are red, violets are blue.

1145
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:54,800
You're not getting dick, so fuck you.

1146
00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:56,800
Ho, ho, ho.

1147
00:49:56,800 --> 00:50:01,800
Ho, ho, ho.

1148
00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:04,800
Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper.

1149
00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:07,800
It's strange insults from an alien.

1150
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:08,800
Real hilarity.

1151
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:09,800
Wait, you're sure?

1152
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:10,800
Are you just saying?

1153
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:11,800
Similar to a heart?

1154
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:13,800
What if he wants such a head-on-the-head-sack?

1155
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:16,800
We are a cute, loose, spanky, likeable.

1156
00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:19,800
We are a cute, loose, spanky, likeable.

1157
00:50:19,800 --> 00:50:22,800
As charming as a leaky sewer pipe.

1158
00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:23,800
Oh, shit.

1159
00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:25,800
What's that over there?

1160
00:50:25,800 --> 00:50:26,800
Oh, no.

1161
00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:28,800
It's the island of horrible jokes.

1162
00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:29,800
Ugh.

1163
00:50:29,800 --> 00:50:39,800
What do you call a bundle of hay in church?

1164
00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:41,800
Christian Bale.

1165
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:44,800
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

1166
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:58,800
May your spoon always slip and sink into your hot soup.

1167
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:03,800
Please remember to go to Cole's dressing room, wait five minutes, and scream,

1168
00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:08,800
hey, there's no toilet paper in here.

1169
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:13,800
A lot of podcasts just come from a can.

1170
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:38,800
Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we pour our own podcasts.

1171
00:51:38,800 --> 00:51:41,800
And we are back, Two Douchebags and a Microphone.

1172
00:51:41,800 --> 00:51:43,800
Hey, I'm Mark.

1173
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:44,800
Hey, I'm Rob.

1174
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:47,800
Alright, Rob, you got anything picked out you want to talk about?

1175
00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:50,800
Hey, you kick us off real quick, I'll jump back in.

1176
00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:51,800
Okay, that's cool.

1177
00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:56,800
There's this diner owner, okay, in Oregon.

1178
00:51:56,800 --> 00:52:01,800
And he uses bacon grease to make his grandma's soap recipe.

1179
00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:07,800
Diner owner was seeing double or triple price increases.

1180
00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:11,800
And he remembered his grandfather talking about the Great Depression.

1181
00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:15,800
He said you need to get creative like we did back in the Great Depression.

1182
00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:21,800
You know, we got creative on things we ate, we went out to our yard, you know, we found stuff edible.

1183
00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:24,800
He said you had to do what you had to do to live.

1184
00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:28,800
And he said you can beat these high costs if you really think about it.

1185
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:29,800
So the diner owner...

1186
00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:33,800
Okay, okay, now you're diving into my stories, dude.

1187
00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:36,800
Oh, is that your story, the diner owner that's selling soap?

1188
00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:40,800
No, no, no.

1189
00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:50,800
I have another list of depression-era food that cost less than five dollars, but we'll go into that next time.

1190
00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:51,800
Okay.

1191
00:52:51,800 --> 00:52:52,800
There's your story.

1192
00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:57,800
Okay, so the diner owner is selling his soap bars.

1193
00:52:57,800 --> 00:53:04,800
And he is selling it at his Sunrise Diner Cafe in Oregon or online at BumbleSoap.com.

1194
00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:15,800
And by selling this soap, if he sells five bars a day, he gets $30 off the cost of bacon, which is raised significantly, at least double.

1195
00:53:15,800 --> 00:53:20,800
So he passes those savings on to the customers.

1196
00:53:20,800 --> 00:53:27,800
So his prices are lower because he sells his soap from rendering the fat from the bacon.

1197
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:31,800
Five bars a day is $30 discount on bacon a day.

1198
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:35,800
Then he also started cow-cohal.

1199
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:38,800
It's a milk vodka.

1200
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:42,800
It is in the process of being marketed right now.

1201
00:53:42,800 --> 00:53:55,800
He is able to use a byproduct of his family's dairy farm in Oregon to make this cow-cohal, like a cow, cow-cohal, like cow and alcohol put together.

1202
00:53:55,800 --> 00:54:01,800
And he uses it. It's supposed to be a really good vodka, and he's getting ready to market it.

1203
00:54:01,800 --> 00:54:13,800
Anyhow, the guy is really intelligent, and he got all of this information in the stock process with someone that lived through hard times, someone that lived through much harder times than we did.

1204
00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:17,800
And hopefully we never lived through that bad of times, the Great Depression.

1205
00:54:17,800 --> 00:54:26,800
Well, like I said, let me do my...I have the story. I'm going to have to look it up.

1206
00:54:26,800 --> 00:54:29,800
Okay. Do you want to save it for tomorrow?

1207
00:54:29,800 --> 00:54:37,800
No, I have foods from the Depression era that you can eat.

1208
00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:40,800
They cost us $5 today.

1209
00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:42,800
Wow, okay. That's cool. Do you...

1210
00:54:42,800 --> 00:54:45,800
That will be the next podcast.

1211
00:54:45,800 --> 00:54:48,800
Okay. All right. That's cool.

1212
00:54:48,800 --> 00:54:51,800
Because I just now come up with my next story, so go ahead.

1213
00:54:51,800 --> 00:55:04,800
Okay. All right. Starting January 3rd, 2024, customers in Starbucks will be able to use their own clean personal cup for every visit at all company-operated stores.

1214
00:55:04,800 --> 00:55:09,800
Now, this isn't franchises. I think there's franchises. Yeah, there is. Franchises.

1215
00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:10,800
Yeah.

1216
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:19,800
You may not do this. In participating licensed stores in the U.S. and Canada, including Drive Thru's, the Starbucks app, and in the cafe,

1217
00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:27,800
Starbucks is the only national coffee house in the U.S. to offer customers the option to use their personal cup when they make a mobile order

1218
00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:32,800
and the first in the Canada to offer mobile orders for all drinks and sizes.

1219
00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:43,800
The milestone achievement goal set in 2022 is to make it easier for customers to use reusable cups and help Starbucks reduce waste sent to the landfill.

1220
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:48,800
And I am all for this. It's a great idea. It should have been done a long time ago.

1221
00:55:48,800 --> 00:56:00,800
And my understanding was, I think there was another competing company. I don't know who it was, but it was a competing coffee company that was going to do it and COVID hit.

1222
00:56:00,800 --> 00:56:04,800
And then all of a sudden it's like, oh, no, we can't use anything personal.

1223
00:56:04,800 --> 00:56:14,800
So now that COVID is pretty much cleared up or they say it is or whatever the hell's going on with it, now, you know, they can go ahead and offer this service.

1224
00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:23,800
But if what I read was true, another coffee company was going to do this first and then COVID hit.

1225
00:56:23,800 --> 00:56:28,800
Okay. Yeah. I see that. Yeah.

1226
00:56:28,800 --> 00:56:33,800
So they stole their idea. Yes. Yeah. That's the way I that's the way I read it.

1227
00:56:33,800 --> 00:56:42,800
And I can't remember what article it was on the Internet. So if it's wrong, forgive me. I read I read an article that wasn't right. But anyhow,

1228
00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:53,800
No, let's stop that. Hey, yeah. Just saying my opinion. This opinion. This is what I read on the Internet.

1229
00:56:53,800 --> 00:57:03,800
I don't claim anything I say on this podcast to be true. I know you don't. I don't claim it to be true. I don't claim nothing either. I read it.

1230
00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:10,800
The only thing I say is you have access to since you can download a podcast, you can look up this information.

1231
00:57:10,800 --> 00:57:17,800
And if I'm wrong, send me an email and berate me. That's fine. I'll read it on air. It'll be fun.

1232
00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:28,800
So anyhow, we got another little odd story here. Okay. You know, there's you know, you got a story too.

1233
00:57:28,800 --> 00:57:35,800
No, go ahead. Oh, okay. All right. You know, elderly, they fall down a lot, right? It sucks.

1234
00:57:35,800 --> 00:57:42,800
I mean, you get older and your body tries to die off on you and you're still frantically trying to live.

1235
00:57:42,800 --> 00:57:51,800
And but your body keeps saying no. So your body keeps tripping you and trying to hit your head so it can end the misery. Right. Right.

1236
00:57:51,800 --> 00:58:02,800
Yeah. Okay. So anyhow, maybe not quite that dramatic. But anyhow. Okay. So you lose balance. You lose balance. Okay.

1237
00:58:02,800 --> 00:58:08,800
And all this. So there is a Chinese company that is offering inflatable bubbles for the elderly.

1238
00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:16,800
Whenever you leave, you put this bubble wrap on the elderly. No joke. For real. You put this bubble wrap on the elderly.

1239
00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:22,800
And then if they fall down, they don't get hurt. They be laying on the floor pushing their life alert, but they're not hurt.

1240
00:58:22,800 --> 00:58:30,800
You know, let's say you're you're down at Price Chopper. Okay. Or Walmart or something. Okay. And all said, beep, beep, beep.

1241
00:58:30,800 --> 00:58:37,800
Oh, shit. Grandma fail. But you know what? She's okay. We can go ahead and finish our you know, we're almost checked out.

1242
00:58:37,800 --> 00:58:45,800
We can go ahead and finish this and then we'll go get her and you know, take the bubble wrap off of it.

1243
00:58:45,800 --> 00:59:00,800
It's crude. It's weird. But I suppose it works. I want. I'm in good health. Okay. Everybody. I am in great health. I've been to the doctor lately.

1244
00:59:00,800 --> 00:59:10,800
Yeah, I would love to have a life alert just to fuck with people. I would. You know, I would do it. Oh, yeah.

1245
00:59:10,800 --> 00:59:18,800
You'd be like beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. And then you come in there and go, hey, give me a yinling.

1246
00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:28,800
Well, I'll be at work cutting steel at the fucking butt. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. They show up out of work. What's up?

1247
00:59:28,800 --> 00:59:38,800
I think the electric waves from the welder set off my life alert. No, I'm not a welder. No, I know. But you're around.

1248
00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:48,800
You're around welders. So anyhow, the pacemakers, you know, pacemakers can't get in there or welder.

1249
00:59:48,800 --> 00:59:53,800
True. They have to stay so many feet away from a welder, it will throw off their pacemaker.

1250
00:59:53,800 --> 01:00:05,800
So yeah. Anyhow, did you have a story you want to get to Rob? Yeah. All right. Do it now because this podcast is almost over with.

1251
01:00:05,800 --> 01:00:19,800
This is Society of Rock, which I've been coming up with a few more of them. Good. They're kind of like my next American songwriter.

1252
01:00:19,800 --> 01:00:32,800
OK. This is the rock stars that went too hard for rocking. OK. Interesting.

1253
01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:44,800
And it's called Rock Society, Rock of Society, or excuse me, Society of Rock. OK. If anybody wants to look it up.

1254
01:00:44,800 --> 01:00:55,800
Society of Rock. OK. The first famous drummer, Keith Moon, was famous for thrashing hotel rooms.

1255
01:00:55,800 --> 01:01:02,800
He used to throw couches and chairs and TVs out the window very famously.

1256
01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:08,800
The first thing he did when he got into a hotel room was throw everything out the window and then demand new furniture.

1257
01:01:08,800 --> 01:01:23,800
On his 21st birthday, he created chaos in a Michigan hotel involving a food fight and explosive bathroom destruction, which we know all too well about that.

1258
01:01:23,800 --> 01:01:35,800
Yes. We know how to do that. Uh huh. Not everybody does. No, no, but we do know.

1259
01:01:35,800 --> 01:01:51,800
OK. Next up, Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards survived drug abuse, including stoning his father's ashes mixed with cocaine.

1260
01:01:51,800 --> 01:02:01,800
Yeah, that actually made the news. His wife, Escalade, solidified his reputation as a true rock and roll icon.

1261
01:02:01,800 --> 01:02:08,800
That actually made the world news. I thought that was pretty cool.

1262
01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:14,800
Yeah, and I think everybody knows the next one.

1263
01:02:14,800 --> 01:02:21,800
OK. Ozzy. Oh, Snort Nance?

1264
01:02:21,800 --> 01:02:29,800
No, Bikin' Ed off the bat. Oh, OK. OK. All right. Yeah, that was very famous.

1265
01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:33,800
Yeah, that was a lot of numbers. Although...

1266
01:02:33,800 --> 01:02:36,800
Well, first of all, he bit the head off the bat.

1267
01:02:36,800 --> 01:02:49,800
Honestly, my opinion, when it comes to Ozzy showing off, I think him pissing on the Alamo was a hell of a lot better than eating the bat.

1268
01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:56,800
Yeah, yeah. Well, he's not really proud of biting the head off the bat. Several interviews said I was.

1269
01:02:56,800 --> 01:03:00,800
No, no, no. Yeah, I've read many. Yeah, he's not proud of it.

1270
01:03:00,800 --> 01:03:01,800
He said he thought it was a rubber bat.

1271
01:03:01,800 --> 01:03:07,800
He's also not really proud of pissing on the Alamo either, but I think that would have been a great problem.

1272
01:03:07,800 --> 01:03:11,800
Well, it took him years and years and years to let him back. They were so offended.

1273
01:03:11,800 --> 01:03:16,800
No, I know. I know. I thought it was awesome.

1274
01:03:16,800 --> 01:03:26,800
He can go back to San Antonio and play. Well, he can't now. He's pretty bad health wise. But if he could, he could play a concert in San Antonio now.

1275
01:03:26,800 --> 01:03:43,800
For years, he was banned. And also, he was also the rocker that very first, he almost lost his deal with Jet and CBS Records because Sherrod and his wife told him to take a dove out of each pocket of his sport coat

1276
01:03:43,800 --> 01:03:52,800
and let him fly in the air to impress, you know, the record companies. Well, Ozzy was fucked out of his mind and he bit the head off one of them.

1277
01:03:52,800 --> 01:03:57,800
And they almost canceled the record contract. They were like just milliseconds away. But Sherrod had to come over.

1278
01:03:57,800 --> 01:04:03,800
They're going, no, no, no, no, no. I'm going to contain him. I guarantee you we're going to get you great music.

1279
01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:12,800
This is the front man, Black Sabbath. This is he's very prolific. Everybody knows him. Everyone knows his voice, you know, but he almost lost his record contract over that.

1280
01:04:12,800 --> 01:04:20,800
So, I mean, bat biting wasn't his only thing. I mean, dub biting, it started with dub biting.

1281
01:04:20,800 --> 01:04:21,800
Just anything.

1282
01:04:21,800 --> 01:04:24,800
And to me, that's more egregious because he knew that were going to bite.

1283
01:04:24,800 --> 01:04:27,800
No, if they put anything in front of me, they're going to bite.

1284
01:04:27,800 --> 01:04:32,800
Yeah, you know, well, he was into shock. He loved to shock people.

1285
01:04:32,800 --> 01:04:34,800
Yeah, shock, shock music. Yeah.

1286
01:04:34,800 --> 01:04:42,800
It's just like Nicky Six was talking about the famous Motley Crue opening up for Ozzy. And he said Ozzy told him, he said, you'll never out crazy me.

1287
01:04:42,800 --> 01:04:46,800
So anyhow, Ozzy took a piss on the sidewalk. Then he jumped down and he licked it.

1288
01:04:46,800 --> 01:04:54,800
And then Nicky Six said, all right. So he pissed on the sidewalk and Ozzy pushed him out of the way and he licked it.

1289
01:04:54,800 --> 01:04:59,800
That's how crazy Ozzy did. Ozzy told him, he said, no, you're never going to out crazy me.

1290
01:04:59,800 --> 01:05:00,800
Then the snorting answered.

1291
01:05:00,800 --> 01:05:07,800
Okay, Nicky. Ozzy pissed on Alamo.

1292
01:05:07,800 --> 01:05:13,800
Well, no, I like that story because Ozzy was like, no, I'm not going to give you the option of licking your own piss.

1293
01:05:13,800 --> 01:05:22,800
So therefore, the top Ozzy, I think Nicky Six would have to piss on the entire state building.

1294
01:05:22,800 --> 01:05:24,800
Okay, that's cool.

1295
01:05:24,800 --> 01:05:25,800
Lies. Lies.

1296
01:05:25,800 --> 01:05:31,800
Well, little problem. He's changed quite a bit and I don't think he would do that nowadays.

1297
01:05:31,800 --> 01:05:37,800
I don't care. I mean, if you want to top Ozzy, I mean, you're running for the greatest.

1298
01:05:37,800 --> 01:05:42,800
No one's going to top Ozzy and his famous antics and shenanigans.

1299
01:05:42,800 --> 01:05:44,800
Yeah, you and Gorgias, that's stupid.

1300
01:05:44,800 --> 01:05:50,800
Yeah. I mean, one of the best ones was, is Brad Gillis's book.

1301
01:05:50,800 --> 01:05:56,800
He said that Ozzy, you know, he would just disappear.

1302
01:05:56,800 --> 01:06:01,800
Okay. And Sharon would put out, Sharon would let it go for a couple of days.

1303
01:06:01,800 --> 01:06:07,800
And I think he's in Dallas and they're getting close to time of the concert.

1304
01:06:07,800 --> 01:06:12,800
And I think that morning Sharon's like, okay, put out an APB, find Ozzy.

1305
01:06:12,800 --> 01:06:15,800
We need him at this show tonight. You know, we got it booked.

1306
01:06:15,800 --> 01:06:20,800
So they found him or he showed up or something, but he had his head shaved.

1307
01:06:20,800 --> 01:06:22,800
They're like, what the hell?

1308
01:06:22,800 --> 01:06:23,800
Yeah. Yeah.

1309
01:06:23,800 --> 01:06:24,800
And he didn't really.

1310
01:06:24,800 --> 01:06:25,800
Yeah, she put a wig on him.

1311
01:06:25,800 --> 01:06:33,800
Yeah, but listen to this. Okay. Ozzy goes over there and he grabs a wig out of the closet or something.

1312
01:06:33,800 --> 01:06:35,800
I don't know. They had wigs for some reason.

1313
01:06:35,800 --> 01:06:41,800
But before he did that, he took a bottle of ketchup and poured it on his head.

1314
01:06:41,800 --> 01:06:46,800
They're getting ready to go out to the show and they had a wig for him.

1315
01:06:46,800 --> 01:06:55,800
Okay. So anyhow, so he put the ketchup on his head and they put the wig on and Brad Gillis is thinking, oh my God, this guy's so fucked out of his mind.

1316
01:06:55,800 --> 01:06:59,800
It's going to be a horrible show. You know, he thought he just did that, not knowing he did it.

1317
01:06:59,800 --> 01:07:00,800
So he's out there.

1318
01:07:00,800 --> 01:07:02,800
So it was one of the greatest shows ever.

1319
01:07:02,800 --> 01:07:11,800
He grabbed the wig off of his head and it looked like he tore his hair off of his scalp and the ketchup looked like blood.

1320
01:07:11,800 --> 01:07:16,800
And the audiences started running. They started running. They couldn't believe it.

1321
01:07:16,800 --> 01:07:19,800
They're like, he just pulled his hair off. He's bleeding.

1322
01:07:19,800 --> 01:07:25,800
I mean, that to me is one hell of a trick.

1323
01:07:25,800 --> 01:07:30,800
Okay, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, I need to sidetrack you because I'm looking at the time.

1324
01:07:30,800 --> 01:07:32,800
Yeah. Okay. We got to go.

1325
01:07:32,800 --> 01:07:35,800
We're at number three. I got 10.

1326
01:07:35,800 --> 01:07:37,800
Oh shit. Go ahead.

1327
01:07:37,800 --> 01:07:39,800
Yeah, we got to get to moving on.

1328
01:07:39,800 --> 01:07:41,800
Okay. Sorry.

1329
01:07:41,800 --> 01:07:44,800
Unless you want to move in tomorrow night.

1330
01:07:44,800 --> 01:07:49,800
Okay. Let's divide them into fives.

1331
01:07:49,800 --> 01:07:50,800
Do three more.

1332
01:07:50,800 --> 01:07:52,800
Do you want to divide this into fives?

1333
01:07:52,800 --> 01:07:58,800
Two fives. Do the rest of the five tonight and then the last five tomorrow.

1334
01:07:58,800 --> 01:08:03,800
Okay, so we have two more tonight. Two tomorrow night.

1335
01:08:03,800 --> 01:08:05,800
Yep.

1336
01:08:05,800 --> 01:08:09,800
All right. Number four.

1337
01:08:09,800 --> 01:08:20,800
Webb Zeppelin's drummer, John Bonham, succumbed to excessive drinking leading to a failed incident in 1980.

1338
01:08:20,800 --> 01:08:31,800
His tragic end seals right on the dark side of the rock star lifestyle.

1339
01:08:31,800 --> 01:08:35,800
Mm-hmm. Yep. Yeah.

1340
01:08:35,800 --> 01:08:36,800
Yeah.

1341
01:08:36,800 --> 01:08:37,800
Too bad.

1342
01:08:37,800 --> 01:08:39,800
Yeah. John Bonham, that was a tragic deal.

1343
01:08:39,800 --> 01:08:41,800
Yep. All self-inflicted.

1344
01:08:41,800 --> 01:08:42,800
E.

1345
01:08:42,800 --> 01:08:43,800
E. Zeppelin.

1346
01:08:43,800 --> 01:08:47,800
All self-inflicted. Brilliant musician, all self-inflicted.

1347
01:08:47,800 --> 01:08:52,800
Actually, a lot of musicians fall in.

1348
01:08:52,800 --> 01:09:00,800
Yeah, their torture actually parlayed brilliant music, unfortunately. So, anyhow.

1349
01:09:00,800 --> 01:09:03,800
Okay. Well, since we're splitting this up.

1350
01:09:03,800 --> 01:09:04,800
All right.

1351
01:09:04,800 --> 01:09:06,800
Here's the last one for tonight.

1352
01:09:06,800 --> 01:09:09,800
Okay.

1353
01:09:09,800 --> 01:09:29,800
Stephen Tyler and Joe Perry of Earl Smith dubbed the toxic twins in Dogs and Grubs, Hotel Room Destruction, and Internal Band Conflicts. Their excesses became legendary in the rock world.

1354
01:09:29,800 --> 01:09:33,800
Uh-huh. Yep.

1355
01:09:33,800 --> 01:09:34,800
That's it.

1356
01:09:34,800 --> 01:09:37,800
Yeah. No, no, no. Man, very. I mean, they're.

1357
01:09:37,800 --> 01:09:42,800
Yeah. Anybody. Anybody that's ever followed Earl Smith, you know.

1358
01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:44,800
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

1359
01:09:44,800 --> 01:09:50,800
Anybody that's followed any of these bands, anybody we talk about, you know.

1360
01:09:50,800 --> 01:09:59,800
That was the deal. You want a rock star, everything like that comes with it. So. All right, man. Rob, thank you.

1361
01:09:59,800 --> 01:10:02,800
And then there was another five.

1362
01:10:02,800 --> 01:10:03,800
Oh, okay.

1363
01:10:03,800 --> 01:10:05,800
For our next episode.

1364
01:10:05,800 --> 01:10:17,800
Yep. So you all will have to tune in on the next one to hear the other five. Those are really solid. All of them were very solid choices. So thank you, Rob.

1365
01:10:17,800 --> 01:10:25,800
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And this. Let me go see. Yeah, this is the side of Rob.

1366
01:10:25,800 --> 01:10:33,800
Okay. So there you go. If you guys want to look it up for yourself, there you go. But why would you? Because Rob is telling you them. So you don't have to.

1367
01:10:33,800 --> 01:10:37,800
Yeah, just just wait till tomorrow night. So you can keep playing.

1368
01:10:37,800 --> 01:10:45,800
Solitaire. Keep playing solitaire and listening to us. So anyhow, thank you guys for listening. Have a good night.

1369
01:10:45,800 --> 01:10:59,800
Good night, everybody.

1370
01:10:59,800 --> 01:11:08,800
Hey, where do they go? Where the douchebags? Oh, my God. Someone took a dump in the corner. Oh, geez.

1371
01:11:08,800 --> 01:11:36,800
Oh, glad they're gone. Let's just hope they don't come back. Man, that smells.