Live from the historic river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the crystal blue waters of the Missouri River, it's Two Douchebags and a Microphone Podcast.
And now it's time for the Daily Douchebag Pledge.
Two Douchebags and a Microphone Pledge, I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to download every show.
I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to grab family members phones and download the show from there.
I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to go to public computers and download the show from there.
I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to laugh at all the unfunny jokes.
I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to lie to all my friends and tell them how good the show is.
And finally, I, Joe, or Jane listener, promise to visit Montrose, Missouri to take advantage of the power plant, campgrounds, and junkyard all within its quarter mile radius.
As much fun as an electric can opener to the scrotum, Two Douchebags and a Microphone.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper, it's strange insults from an alien, real hilarity.
Mate, you'll forever feel yourself in a migraine, and the pocket is not even in it.
Two Douchebags and a Microphone, raw and uncensored.
See behind the smoke show. Watch as the Douchebags get stung by a stalk of bees.
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Act now and get both high quality DVD sets and a free Douchebag calendar.
Mark off the day with a Douchebag looking at you.
Supplies are limited, so act now.
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.
Let's see here. A package of eight hot dogs. A package of ten hot dog buns.
I would have to buy ten packs of hot dogs and eight packs of buns to even it out.
Should I buy them at once? Should I freeze them?
Or just continue to zigzag them and hope for the best?
I hate adulting.
Hey look, I think we found land. Oh my god, I think we're safe.
Oh no! It's the island of horrible jokes.
I'm so sorry.
I dreamt I was a muffler.
I woke up exhausted.
I love the story of the Ass Paddleans and where they originated.
Topher was the first guy I did the podcast with.
He stepped down, he had some stuff going on and we respect that.
We're still good friends with him and he still contributes to the show.
He's a good guy and a great friend.
So him and I were walking along the beach in the sunrise.
We're walking in the sand, just enjoying the weather.
And Rob and his brother say we're holding hands, but I say we were not.
And anyhow, you see this shit I'm getting right now?
We were not holding hands, but anyhow, I can't seem to get these two off of that, but okay,
we're not holding hands.
So we're walking along the beach, the sunlight glistening in our hair and the slight wind
blowing it back.
And I step on something, I almost trip over it, I'm like, oh fuck, man, my toe, my toe.
And anyhow, Topher looks back and he's like, hey man, that looks like a genie's bottle.
And I look back and go, oh wow, it's got a cork in it and everything.
So I hobble over there going, ow my toe, ow my toe.
I pop it open and a genie comes out.
And anyhow, me and Topher are like, hey, we did three wishes.
And the genie looks at us, he rolls his eyes and he's like, everybody thinks it's three
wishes, but no, it's not.
It's one wish only.
You guys watch way too much TV and you fucking believe it.
One.
One wish only, so choose wise.
So me and Topher look at each other and we said, man, we won't be invisible so we can
ass paddle people that need it.
The genie very reluctantly, he rolled his eyes and he said, very well.
And he was wanting us to pick world peace or the end of pollution or hunger on earth,
but no, no, we want to ass paddle people, but he had to observe it because that's the
rules.
But he very reluctantly gave us this wish.
So once a month, but every now and then a little bit more than a month, like we can
maybe do two in a month.
If the demand needs it, the genie gave a special permission to go ahead and have special ones
every now and then.
But generally it's once a month we get to ass paddle the people that need it.
So this is our once a month ass paddling unless a bunch of people need it at once and then
we will break into regular programming and do that.
So number one, Carolina Panther owner, he gets an ass paddling for throwing a drink
at some Maldy Jacksonville fans.
They choked themselves out of the playoffs anyway.
Jacksonville did.
I mean, they choked and choked.
They choked so bad they have one of the best records in the league and they promptly lost
like six in a row to a bunch of ass bags.
But anyhow, they beat the shit out of Carolina on that last game and the owner of the Carolina
Panthers, David Tipper, is his name, or Tipper, T-E-P-P-E-R, it's like pepper only with a
T. David Tipper threw a drink at some Jacksonville fans that were ridiculing him and anyhow they
caught it on tape and he owes like $300,000 and probably some money to the people that
he hit with it.
So I don't care if they were ridiculing you or not.
It's just like Nick Sirianni.
I told you about his low budget, you know, turn around and fucking yiping at Arrowhead
and then his team has been dog shit ever since.
He got the DT curse and he deserves it.
So that's low budget.
You don't do it.
I don't care how bad they're ridiculing you.
This guy lost his cool and he deserves to pay that $300,000 and maybe some money to
the people because he's a complete jackass because these people were being football fans
and they were having fun at his expense and he didn't like it.
So he gets the first ass paddling.
You think he deserves it too?
Yes, he does.
Yep.
So David Tipper, expect to get your ass paddling here within the next 24 hours.
And Rob, we can start having you do some too, you know.
I asked the Genie if he would turn you invisible for these ass paddling and he said yeah.
He said why not?
So you can be part of this ass paddling, okay?
Cool.
Alright.
So next one.
Twin Peaks Bar and Grill gets an ass paddling over possible, it sounds like they're going
to do this, credit card processing fee on tips.
Assholes.
Can you imagine that?
Someone leaves a 20% tip on a credit card.
This company, Twin Peaks, let me let everybody know here because not everybody has Twin Peaks.
Twin Peaks is like a Hooters, okay?
The girls walk around in short shorts and tight off tops and you know what it is, man.
It's like a Hooters and they serve you wings and bears and stuff like that.
It's really like a Hooters with a different name, quite a bit.
So this particular franchise of Twin Peaks decided that whenever someone leaves them
a tip, as in the waitresses, they're going to take a credit card processing fee out of
it, which I think is wrong.
So they get an ass paddling, this franchise that is going to do this.
And if they don't do it, then they don't get an ass paddling, but if they do do it, they
get an ass paddling.
Right now they send out notices to everybody, but it hit the local news around here so hard
that I don't know, if they get too much fallback, they may decide not to, which is what everyone's
hoping that they'll do.
So the next one who gets an ass paddling is A-Rodge.
Aaron Rodgers is at it again.
Again.
I'm sorry, I'm a little congested.
Okay, A-Rodge gets this for his comments that appear to be false about Jimmy Kimmel and
Jeffrey Epstein, the dead convicted pedophile.
Did you see that Rob, what he said?
I've seen this ass paddling coming.
He gets an ass paddling because he didn't have any idea, it sounds like.
He made some remarks saying that a lot of people are going to be worried or something
like that.
I forgot the exact wording.
When this Jeffrey Epstein list comes out, he said something like including Jimmy Kimmel.
Then Jimmy Kimmel got on Twitter and put him in his place and threatened legal action.
So anyhow, but A-Rodge gets it because you don't say that about somebody.
I think we covered it in the last podcast, didn't we?
Yeah, I think it was the last.
So anyhow, Jimmy Kimmel gets one because you just don't do that.
Just like Jimmy Kimmel said, you're putting him and his family in danger because people
hear about pedophilia and stuff like that, that angers people.
So anyhow, the AKC Kennel Club gets an ass paddling because they're Frankenstein and
another dog breed, the Lancaster Heeler, another sickly flawed experimental breed.
Leave those poor animals alone.
You guys are ghouls in my opinion.
So yeah, they get an ass paddling.
They came up with another experimental breed that they love.
They do this all the time.
They'll take different dog breeds and make their own little animals out of them and all
that and designer dogs.
So anyhow, they get an ass paddling.
Next one, Manhattan, New York for trying to implement congestion pricing on all travelers
during certain times.
If the road is too congested, they charge you.
Did you know that?
That's stupid.
Yeah, they're getting ready to do this.
They're trying to do this at least.
The way I think it happens is they simply find your license plate with cameras.
You were on there from three to five, so we're going to charge you an extra five bucks or
whatever.
Imagine that every day you get charged for it because your job demands you be in that
time.
Then you got to pay extra.
I mean, don't you think the residents pay enough in taxes and bullshit fees?
Yeah.
So, Manhattan, New York, not Kansas, gets an ass paddling for that.
Chef Gino Sarbello for introducing Naples, Italy with the atrocity of the pineapple pizza
plus ketchup pizza as well.
Yes.
Yeah.
He brought it to Naples and he's trying to make it big there.
I say stop it right now.
Stop the atrocity.
Yeah.
Don't let it happen.
Italy is like pure.
They pretty much invented pizza.
Leave them alone.
Don't take that over there.
Those poor guys are going to get infected with all these pineapple pizza people.
They're going to laugh you out of the country.
Yeah, I hope so.
They'll burn them out of there.
They'll throw them in the Mediterranean Ocean.
And I was also asked to submit an ass paddling to the Golden Globes for a boring show that
was painful to stomach.
Now I wouldn't know because I do not watch that bullshit, but someone close to me that
watches that bullshit told me that.
So I guess we're going to give the Golden Globes an ass paddling because they were recommended.
So the Golden Globes, you guys get an ass paddling too.
And I'm thinking bare ass paddling for them.
What do you think?
Yeah, we're looking at body work, right?
Yeah.
So next one, Target for cosigning with Starbucks for the ripoff.
$50 Stanley mug.
$50 for a fucking Stanley mug that says Starbucks on there.
I think it's like pink.
Only Rubes buy them.
No one with brain cells does.
Yeah, to me, you know, all the people that were going enough to buy a $50 mug, they should
probably also get an ass paddling too, don't you think?
Yeah.
Unless it's going to be a collector's, you know.
Okay.
They'll get an ass paddling for now.
And if it becomes a collector's item and we're doing this podcast, we will officially give
them an apology, right?
Right.
That sounds good, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
But now they get an ass paddling because we think they deserve it.
And if we have to offer an apology, we will gladly do so.
So the entire officiating crew that ignored the brutal hit on Justin Fields Sunday afternoon,
they're already in the hall of fame, but we're going to pull them out long enough for a bare
bottom ass paddling with an old Sparky replica.
You know, yeah, old Sparky, the guy, the old Sparky, the one that used to freak with my
ass cheeks, that guy right there, the old Sparky, that son of a bitch is a mean bastard.
He is probably about a 14 long by six wide with a giant handle with holes in it.
Solid, I think it is walnut with holes in it.
That fucker hurt.
So anyhow, the officiating crew gets old Sparky replica on their ass.
Bare bottom.
And finally, MetLife Stadium's artificial turf for claiming another victim this year,
AJ Brown of the Eagles.
But this could also be the DT curse because their coach maled off at Arrowhead Stadium.
So I mean, also, I mean, it was a MetLife Stadium.
They claimed all these victims this year, I mean, including Aaron Rodgers on the first
game on the first play, and they refused to change that artificial turf that has turned
up everybody's ACL.
So we have no choice but to give MetLife Stadium and anyone associated with them an ass paddling,
right Rob?
Yep.
Okay.
All right.
Well, let's go ahead and take our first break and we will be right back after this.
Sounds good.
All right.
We'll talk to you in a minute.
Why two douchebags and a microphone?
Because two fuck nuts and a recorder was taken.
The apocalypse just happened.
You don't know what to do.
You don't know where to go.
But we can tell you what you can eat.
Dirt and apocalypse, don't forget the nuts.
Hickory nuts, that is.
Yeah, we know Hickory wood gets all the glory and all the love.
Everyone loves the Hickory trees.
They cut them down and they make great sandwiches out of barbecue and meats.
They smoke them and it's a fantastic deal.
But little does anyone know about the Hickory nuts.
Dirt and apocalypse Hickory nuts could be the best thing you could find.
Hickory nuts can be eaten raw, toasted or added to various recipes.
Their rich buttery flavor and crunchy texture make them an ideal ingredient for both sweet
and savory dishes.
You can use Hickory nuts to make nut butter, pesto or even a unique Hickory nut milk.
There are five types of Hickory nuts.
Bitter nut Hickory, Shag Bark Hickory, Pig Nut Hickory, Mockernut Hickory and Smooth Bark
Hickory.
Hickory trees are considered part of the walnut species and are plentiful at least around
Missouri and surrounding areas.
Please remember to go to Cole's dressing room, wait five minutes and scream.
Hey there's no toilet paper in here.
And we are back, two douchebags and a microphone, I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
Alright Rob, you want to go into some emails or you got something you want to do first?
No, we can go into emails if you want.
Alright let's go into emails.
There's not as many of them and I think I pissed a lot of people off because I didn't
have time to get to them and a lot of the people that was writing just quit or maybe
they just lost interest, I don't know.
But anyhow we only have like five of them this time.
So but at least I can get to them now right?
Well everybody remember it was the holiday season too.
We are busy.
Oh that's right, you know what that's probably it right there.
So anyhow feel free to write us and if it's a basic love your show, thank you, a blanket
thank you.
But you know like I said there's nothing you can really add to that or anything so you
know thank you.
I'm still waiting for the grandma's name out of Dodge City, Kansas.
Grandma's not written me, I know.
Hi grandma.
Hi grandma, we love you, whatever your name is.
So anyhow alright.
The first one, Dear Douchebags, I was wanting to know where you can buy the Filthy Bean
Expressos.
You sold me on it a long time ago.
Thanks Angie and Barrington.
Barrington.
You know where Barrington's at?
Barrington's at?
Give me a second.
Angie, you have to be in Tennessee.
Nashville Kroger's and Jackson, Tennessee Kroger's and Memphis Kroger's.
My understanding has the Filthy Bean Expressos.
It's my understanding.
I don't know.
I haven't been there to actually check but as far as I know they're there.
So and other than that I think there's a few other stores that were independent that carried
them around those areas and they're well worth it.
They sent us some of those and man they were good.
So anyhow unless you're around there.
Okay, the Barrington that's pulling up is Barrington, Illinois.
Barrington, Illinois, okay.
Thank you Angie.
We're going to assume it's there I guess.
Barrington is a village in Cook County and Lake County, Illinois.
Cook County, isn't that Chicago area?
Yeah.
Okay, alright.
Hey great.
Thank you Chicago.
An hour and 38 minutes to Chicago.
That whole area, anyone listening there in that whole area is such a fucking compliment
because so much great radio has come out of Chicago it's unreal.
You know and a lot of radio I listen to came out of Chicago.
Even back when WLS was on AM, 890 AM, I used to listen to them at night because they were
a clear channel and the clear channel would come to Kansas City when the 890 dial in Kansas
City had to turn the power down and they always played the good songs, the new songs before
Kansas City and I would know these songs and I would impress everybody around my little
town.
They'd be like, I go hey man this is the new, I don't know, REO or this is a new foreigner
or this is a new, Don Felder was one of them, heavy metal, Don Felder heavy metal just came
out.
It was a badass song and nobody knew what it was and I come up, that's Don Felder of
the Eagles and this is his new song for the heavy metal soundtrack and they're like, how
did you know that?
Man, you just got to keep up with it man.
Not everybody's good like that but I would listen to WLS at night on my little radio,
I'd listen to it out in the garage and I would do stuff.
I would work on my bike, I would crack walnuts, all different kinds of shit.
It was a lot of fun and gave me a lot of thinking time and a lot of creativity time and that's
where I started drawing and painting huge skulls all over the walls there because that's
what I thought was cool at the time.
You remember the huge skulls in the garage of the house I grew up in?
Yeah, yeah, yeah that was boredom in WLS radio.
I understand that.
Yep, so okay.
Angie and Barrington take a little trip south there, Tennessee.
I think they're there.
You can always call the Filthy Bean.
Ask him, he can send them to you.
They're online.
Why didn't I think of that?
Okay.
He'll send you some and I think they're even online at the Filthy Bean's website.
It's like FilthyBeanCoffee.com or something like that.
Google it, you'll find it Angie.
Thank you.
Yeah.
All right and Rob you did get the gift pack from him right?
He was wanting to know.
Yes I did.
Okay what did you think?
I forgot to mention that to you.
Oh.
Oh I loved it.
Oh he wanted, okay, geez there's been so much going on.
Yeah I'm supposed to send half of it to you.
Oh I didn't know that.
No, no, no.
He sent me some more.
Oh did he?
Yeah, yeah.
He wanted you to give a review.
He wanted you to have all of it and he wanted you to give a review because I gave my review,
Topher gave his review, he wants your review now and we're going to have to go there here
soon.
Okay I'll get the review ready.
Okay cool and he wants it on the espresso and some of the specialty coffees okay?
All right.
Okay all right.
All right next.
Hey Mark and Rob I was wanting to know if you guys plan on streaming video with your
show.
You can always record the audio and cut it up for your funny bits afterwards.
Thank you.
You know what?
I read this and he's right.
We can, okay this is a ways away but we'll offer the show live that doesn't have the
bits in it and then we'll offer the show audio only to have all the creative funny bits in
it.
You see what I mean?
Right.
He's right.
When I read this I'm like you know what he is absolutely 100% right and did he?
He didn't even leave a name.
Whoever you are thank you and we're going to do that eventually.
It's going to take a little time but we got to set up cameras.
We got to get a YouTube channel and all that and that way we benefit from the YouTube popularity
in everybody video streaming on YouTube because people are doing that off the hook right now
and then we have the audio version that goes over to iTunes and Spotify and RSS and all
that.
So I think that's a great idea.
So alright thank you whoever you are.
Great idea.
Thank you.
Alright next one.
Hey Mark I'm the mad crop duster.
I plan on shitting all over you soon.
You will never catch me.
Ha ha better sit in the corner of the break room near the wall TV and the coats.
He is from my work.
He or she is from my work.
There's no way they could know that detail about the break room.
So this is someone at work shitting all over me and laughing in my face Rob.
I mean yeah I know.
I'm going to get to the bottom of this.
I'm going to catch you and I'm going to cork your asshole with cement when I catch you.
It's getting bad Rob.
I'm getting tired of coming home smelling like shit and having a shit sticky shit film
on me.
I don't know what this fucker eats but you better watch it.
It's going to give you something.
Mad crop duster you motherfucker.
Next one.
Mark do you plan on apologizing to Ruth Ann?
I hope you don't.
Of this show Kelly in North Central Ohio go Lions.
Oh damn.
Ruth Ann is getting heat from North Central Ohio and it's a Lions fan.
I'm sorry Ruth Ann if you're listening.
I don't think she is.
She didn't respond to anything.
I sent her an email back and went okay I'm sorry can we start over nothing.
I think she's really mad dude.
I don't think she's listening.
I even told her I said why would you punish Rob for something I done.
Nothing.
Crickets.
She's pissed.
So we can scratch Ruth Ann off of our listener list.
Next one.
Hey douches I wanted to know when you do your live show for Montrose could you guys look
for a rear right quarter panel for a Chevy Vega.
I really need to get the old beast going again.
Ross in North Central Missouri.
These fucks.
If we find one.
Yes.
Yeah if we find one it's yours.
Honestly I'm writing all these parts down for when we do go that way I can look while
we're there.
Yes.
So you are a trooper for writing these parts down and the first one was like a Cadillac
was it a bumper.
Yeah for a 72 coupe dual.
Oh yep yep and then this one is for a Chevy Vega.
One year.
Let's see it doesn't say what year.
It says hey you guys could you look for a rear right quarter panel.
I think they are.
I don't think the Chevy Vega ever changed designs once.
All right if you need to give us any more information from North Central Missouri please
do and we will search the world over for your right quarter panel of a Chevy Vega.
So Rob.
Right rear or right front.
Oh shit you know what he didn't specify.
We don't have that either.
No no no right rear front right rear.
Look for a rear right.
Oh no rear.
Look for a rear right quarter panel.
Right rear.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay he just did it backwards.
He wrote rear right.
Anyhow yeah yeah yeah a rear quarter panel for a Chevy Vega.
So and if you see two or three of the say you know of different models then we'll have
to have him email us again and let us know what model.
Right.
So anyhow Rob you got something you want to say.
Yeah.
Oh you're on.
Oh I don't know how you're going to feel about this.
Okay.
Let's call it one of your favorite chief players.
Okay.
Chris Jones a defensive tackle for the squad is giving the entire D line and other staff
members Rolex's ESPN report on Sunday night.
He he says huh.
He promised them Rolex's actually but go ahead.
Yeah yeah the time pieces are a gift from Jones after he got a third quarter sack reaching
the 10th sack summer season he needed to snag the one point two five million dollar bonus
that was written into his contract before he won.
The whole defensive line gets a Rolex Jones told the ESPN defensive court of the speech
by no like it's a Rolex.
The coaches get a Rolex because I think it takes a collective effort in order to reach
those types of goals.
The chiefs dial it out with the Los Angeles Charters on Sunday pulling off the win by
narrow 13 to 12 margin.
That was thanks in part to Jones' sack of the Chargers quarterback Easton Stitt in the
third quarter given that the chiefs had tied up the AFC West title last week.
The game wasn't make or break for the team and Jones wasn't supposed to even be on the
field for that long.
Well okay what Andy Reid did I consider is why he's so brilliant at his job.
He allowed to break the rules and bend the rules just enough so everyone could get a
Rolex so Chris Jones could get his one point two million.
And yeah yeah Chris Jones could have gotten injured yes but I agree with Andy Reid 100
percent what do you think?
Oh I get it too.
He was supposed to play the first quarter and that was it.
But he didn't get a sack until I think it was the third quarter.
Yeah the third quarter.
So you know I think that's cool I like it.
He plans on going and buying everybody Rolexes.
Well you know we'll see how far this parlay's if they even try to re-sign him.
I don't think they're even going to try.
I don't think they think there's any sense in it because you know he really we need to
sign Legerius Snead badly.
He is the premier shutdown corner in the league.
We need him over Chris Jones.
We have pass rushers.
In my opinion after what Chris Jones did at the beginning of the year.
I don't think he's shown enough throughout the year.
I don't either.
Especially all the ruckus he had for his contract you know holding out not playing and basically
holding the team hostage in my opinion.
I think that that all needs to be in consideration of why you want you will want to rehire this
guy.
And yeah he's great but I don't think you can do it not just for the money part of it
but also not just for the salary cap part of it but also the integrity of it.
Right.
To send a message.
You can hold out all you want.
If your name's not Mahomes or Reed we don't care.
Go somewhere else.
Everyone else is replaceable.
Right.
100%.
Yeah.
So yeah Rob I agree with you man.
That's a good story and I'm glad you did that.
That story.
Because we really kind of needed a follow up to that.
Yeah we did.
Alright let's take our second break and we will come right back.
How's that sound Rob?
Sounds good.
Alright we'll be right back guys.
The apocalypse just happened.
You don't know what to do.
But we can tell you what you can eat.
Hi all this is Mark here.
I'm usually the one telling you what to eat during an apocalypse.
Well this time I decided to go the other way.
You ever consider just going to ground zero and saying fuck it.
Do you really want to be the guy running around looking for radioactive deer.
Guessing whether water is not contaminated or not.
No food no shelter no nothing.
Oh no there's a strong argument that says you know what.
Let's just go to ground zero and see what's for us after.
Just a thought.
We are two douchebags in microphone.
As charming as a leaky sewer pipe.
Next up things overheard in hell.
Dish water has the top ten spots on billboard hot 100.
And now deep thoughts with Mark.
Man I sure wish I was the garbage man.
You know what I could do if I was the garbage man.
I could go to the wrong parts of town on the wrong days periodically.
In the morning.
And then watch everybody run out of their house in their underwear.
With two bags of trash screaming stop halt.
Yeah that's what I'd love to do.
You need protection from fucktards.
You have people coming and fucking with you constantly.
You need answers you need solutions.
Smack in the nuts.
That's right.
Smack in the nuts is what you need.
Smack in the nuts get rid of said losers in no time flat.
Smack in the nuts.
Available everywhere wherever you buy self defense items.
Here are just a few testimonials from some satisfied customers.
Stupid fuck sack come to me.
He talk stupid.
You know let me go.
Smell like sack of shit.
He spit talk all over.
I remember smack in balls.
I use shit sack.
Shit sack lie on ground.
I walk off.
Thank you smack in the balls.
You saved me from smelly smelly spit.
Well I had this stupid son of a bitch come around me.
He would not shut his fucking yap or for nothing.
He gets up on me and he talks all stupid.
And I didn't know what to do.
I could not shake this motherfucker like a booger.
Then I remember smack in the nuts.
I pulled out old smack in the nuts.
And that motherfucker went down like a sack of fucking potatoes.
Thank you smack in the nuts.
You saved me once again from stupid motherfuckers.
Smack in the nuts.
Don't leave home without it.
Eggs in a microphone.
I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
Hey Rob do you like peanut butter?
Oh yeah I love peanut butter.
I think everybody loves peanut butter.
It's universal.
I put peanut butter on my pancakes.
You might like this then.
Peanut butter and bacon fans rejoice.
You like bacon too right?
Oh yeah.
Yeah bacon.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sonic the popular driving food chain is kicking off 2024 with new flavor combinations.
Starting on January 8th Sonic launched a new combination involving peanut butter and bacon.
It's peanut butter and bacon double cheeseburger and a peanut butter bacon shake.
The double cheeseburger features 200% pure beef patties layered with creamy peanut butter,
crispy bacon, grilled onions and melty cheese on a toasted bun.
Now do you remember who made a Guba burgers famous?
No.
Elvis.
Oh yeah okay.
Yeah and you know where in Missouri they made Guba burgers famous?
Uh uh.
It would be none other than Sedalia, Missouri.
The Wagonville restaurant.
People used to come from miles around to go there to get a Guba burger.
They had the best Guba burger.
Number one hardly anyone was serving a peanut butter cheeseburger ever and most people didn't
like the idea at all.
But the Wagonville I think is still around but it changed areas, it changed addresses
and they went to a different location.
But the Wagonville restaurant in Sedalia as far as I know was one of the few places in
America that served a Guba burger and it's been on their menu forever and I believe it's
still on their menu if they're open.
And so you never went there and got a Guba burger?
No I hadn't.
Okay well I loved it and they did a great Guba burger there and they were known for
it so anyhow.
So alright next one I got here is a little story about Gen Zers.
Did you know that some Gen Z job seekers are bringing mom and dad to interviews?
Are you serious?
Yes I am serious.
And it's turning off employers new survey funds.
Yeah no shit.
What would you think Rob okay?
You're Mr. Williams and you run a manufacturing outfit that produces electrical boxes let's
say.
And there's a guy coming in there, Gen Z just got out of school for being an accountant
right?
And all of a sudden you're like oh hey man I see this here.
Okay he just got done with DeVry, he wants to be our accountant.
We need one, we want someone young that can grow with the company, we're doing so well.
And then he brings his mom or dad in to communicate.
I would be looking around for someone else.
That's just my own opinion.
A survey found some employers favor older workers to avoid hiring recent college graduates.
So I see with stuff like this intelligence surveyed 800 managers, directors and executives
involved in hiring.
One in five of the employers said college graduates showed up with a parent for a job
interview.
One in five.
Some employers said they'd be willing to offer older professionals more benefits and higher
salaries to avoid hiring new college graduates.
A recent survey found.
Intelligent an online magazine focused on student life commissioned a pullfish survey
of 800 managers, directors and executives involved in hiring in the US in December.
39% of the employers who responded said they preferred to hire older job seekers over recent
college graduates in part because young professionals don't make a good fit of first impression
on job interviews.
More than half of the employees said young recruits struggled to make eye contact during
an interview.
Now think of that Rob, do you trust anybody like they come up and you've been introduced
by somebody okay, a mutual friend and they won't look you in the eye when you say hello?
Right.
I mean, right then I automatically don't trust the person.
It's like, what are they trying to hide?
How come they won't look me in the eye?
That's a red flag right there.
Yes, to me too.
And 50% said they asked for unreasonable compensation.
Just half the employer said a young job candidate showed up in inappropriate attire and nearly
20% said a recent college grad had brought a parent to a job interview.
Another thing it gets me and I want to find out if you're on the same page or if I'm just
an old fogey here Rob, handshake.
Oh, always.
Yeah.
I demand, I'm talking about the type of handshake.
I demand a firm handshake with a direct look in the eye.
If you get one of those little flimsy handshakes and they're looking around the room looking
at your bowling trophy or something like that, no, I don't think this guy's for me.
I automatically don't trust them and I don't think that they're dedicated.
I could be wrong, but that's the way I see it.
I mean, are you like that?
Yes, definitely.
Yeah, it bothers me.
It's like look me in the eye, shake my hand firmly and say, it's nice to meet you.
So on the employers who said they prefer to hire older job seekers, 60% said they would
be willing to offer more benefits and attract... I know I'm going over this, but that was
an excerpt that they took out first and put it in front.
So 48% said they would... Okay, it's a little bit different.
60% said they would be willing to offer more benefits to attract them.
This is older ones, older people are more... 59% said they would offer higher salaries.
48% said they would allow remote or hybrid working opportunities.
And 46% said they would be willing to hire overqualified candidates.
Young professionals always appear to have a reputation for being difficult to work with.
Nearly two-thirds of employers said it was very true or somewhat true.
The recent college grads are entitled, while 58% said it was very or somewhat true that
they get offended too easily.
Now you know where cancel culture comes from.
I'm offended.
That person must go away forever.
This is what we taught our kids?
This is what it's become?
You get offended so you got to ex that person out of his job and his life?
What kind of brutal bullshit is that?
What happened to just like suck it up, you don't like the speech, but okay.
Geez, anyhow, nearly 60% of bosses said it was very or somewhat true that recent grads
are unprepared for the workforce and more than half agree in the young professionals
don't respond well to feedback and have poor communication skills.
I would say if they have to bring a parent, they have none, right?
As Gen Z has entered the workforce in increasing numbers in recent years, employers have expressed
concerns about the younger generation's ability to adapt to corporate life.
This article goes on, but another fact that brings up that also is in play, this is the
COVID generation.
These were kids that were set to go through college and get that down and get used to
the frat life and socializing, right?
And all of a sudden they get that all that pulled away from them and they're at home
staring at a computer screen on a Zoom camera, right?
So they're not adapted at all to face-to-face contact and communication and knowing what
it takes to work with other people and get the job done.
No matter what you think of them, no matter whether you like them, whether you agree with
them politically, sexually or whatever, should not matter.
What matters is this person knows what he's doing and he's here to help you get this job
done because work is completely different than anything else.
You get that done, you do it and you do it right and you do it with a sense of pride
and urgency, right?
So anyhow, I see where they're having problems definitely.
I can't hear you.
I got another little interesting one here speaking to Jen's ears and all that.
This is a, they call it food you need in a scurry.
The latest food trend to take over TikTok is rat snacking is what they call it.
Like the rat, you know, like a mouse, a big mouse, rat snacking.
Eating small and random snacks with sometimes odd combinations as a guilty pleasure.
As opposed to the appetizer course inspired girl dinner, which was another trend, which
looks like putting a plate together of some leftover slices of deli meat, fruit, cheese
and crackers.
Rather than making a three square meal, rat snacks are unhinged combinations of foods
to make just one small treat.
Fans put together their rat snacks, similar to how rats scrounge together whatever they
can find and eat it.
One content creator shared one of her favorite little, uh, sneaky snacks, chip soup.
Ken Yurick on TikTok puts crushed up chips in a bowl with some vinegar and eats it with
a spoon.
Ugh.
Gabby Sharp is a registered dietitian who posts content on her TikTok, uh, shared a
super unhinged rat snack with her 748 followers.
And where the hell is it now?
Hang on here.
Geez, I lost the other side of it.
Okay I, hang on, I gotta find what this is here.
Um, okay I think this might be it.
Hopefully it is.
Hey you're getting every penny's worth right?
It's free.
Yeah, yeah.
When your Instacart shopper throws in an unexpected pack of processed cheese, you turn it into
a budget friendly rat snack, rat snack, or whatever else you have in the fridge.
She captioned the video.
Sharp's chopper threw in cheese slices that gave her an idea for a snack.
She put apples in a bit of butter and a bit of cinnamon and a little bit of brown sugar
into a bowl popped into the microwave.
The melted concoction then went onto slices of bread and were topped with cheese slices.
Sharp said in the video that the weird snack tasted like a classic apple pie with a slice
of cheddar on top.
Sharp previously told Bustle that this trend comes more out of need of necessity due to
finances which makes it relatable to young people on the internet.
The rise in grocery costs people are trying to find any way they can save money for a
lot of people.
This means digging deep into the pantry, freezer, or fridge to pull together any little bits
and pieces that may not traditionally go together Sharp told the outlet.
She added these rat snacks are becoming more popular because often, uh, don't, people often
don't see themselves making the smoothie bowls that they see on Instagram and they can pull
together a piece of cheese and a pickle in a pinch because they have it on hand.
So okay, there you go.
That's rat snacking.
So Rob, you got something?
Yeah, I do.
Alrighty.
I've got another American songwriter for you.
Oh yeah, I love these.
This might be my favorite, but I don't know.
Okay.
Here are four songs that believe it or not are far more popular today than they were
when they were new.
Okay.
First up Queen, Don't Stop Me Now.
Yeah great one.
Uh, what was the part I was going to read?
You're doing a me now.
I lost that part.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Do you want me to go into something you can round it up?
No, no, no, no.
I was going to read a little something about the song, but I lost that part.
Okay.
Journey, Don't Stop Believing.
Yeah.
Um, that's an iconic song.
At first it was and it lost a lot of interest.
And then the notorious sopranos ending, uh, fade to black ending, uh, featured that song
and it became big again.
And I believe it went number one again.
Um, interesting story behind that song.
Very much so.
What does it say?
With more than 1.7 million downloads on Spotify, it has more than four times the downloads
of the next most popular journey song on the platform.
I wonder what that is.
Oh, Any Way You Want It.
Okay.
Yeah.
Cool.
And, okay, next Simple Man.
That's a good one.
Now, what's version Skinner or, um, no, it was Skinner.
Okay.
Was it Five Finger Death Punch that did the other version, which was very good.
Yeah, it was Five Finger Death Punch.
Okay.
Uh, but, okay.
And then the last one, Sticks Lineage.
Oh, I love that song.
And the guitar on that is brutal.
Yeah.
Tommy Shaw is such an underrated guitarist.
Man that dude.
I mean, and I, okay, I know why.
And I'm sorry I'm interrupting you, Rob, but I got, I just, okay.
Um, Tommy Shaw had to play by the rules with Dennis DeYoung and not be that heavy because
Dennis DeYoung was more of a Broadway type, a musical type.
And he, it was just like how Queen was arranged.
You know, Brian May was an ax slinger, but he had to tone a lot of stuff down because
Freddie's harmonies and the music and everything.
So it was the same type of situation, but those together made it brilliant.
And I'm sorry, go ahead.
I just said, May have gone on to number one and Mr. Roboto likely takes the price of Sticks
as his most culturally referenced song, but Renegade is the band's Spotify champion.
Among all of Sticks songs, Only Babe and Come Sail Away, two of Sticks' eight top ten hits
have at least half of the 170 million plus downloads that Renegade is on.
Wow.
Sticks never-
That is.
You see, Sticks to me never really got the props they deserved.
And I'm not talking about sales or anything like that.
They did very well in sales.
But I'm talking about other musicians in the music industry.
They were more than a poor man's queen.
I mean, they were so good in their musically, they were so spot on and just genius instrumentals
and music pieces that were put together.
And the lyrics were great too.
And to me, they never reached their full due.
I think people took them for granted.
So I'm glad to hear that they do so well with all the downloads and everything.
I'm sure that probably parlay's into quite a bit of cash for them, which is excellent.
What's your feelings on Sticks?
Do you think they were that great or not?
I've always liked Sticks.
Now they got where they were doing like Mr. Roboto.
Oh, oh.
Yeah, that was taking it too far.
Okay.
Mr. Roboto.
I mean, I understand that Dennis the Young wanted to be Seattle.
I understand.
Yes.
Yeah.
That's his nature.
That's his type of music.
Yes.
The problem was, go ahead.
I'm sorry.
They were trying to disco.
Kiss got away with it somehow.
Sticks did not.
Kiss came out with Dynasty and I was made for loving you, which was actually on the
disco charts and the rock charts.
I think because of Kiss's extreme shows and their theatrical makeup and everything, I
think they got a pass.
And also Ace's guitar was so unique, his tone and everything.
But still, they got away with it.
Sticks did not.
Because the truth about Mr. Roboto is that was their best selling song that ruined them.
Their rock fans, when disco faded away, the disco fans were there to listen to it and
the rock fans left because they didn't appreciate Mr. Roboto.
They hated it.
So that was their best selling song that ruined them.
Isn't that something?
Yeah, it is.
Yeah.
I've always found that intriguing that a song that was so big and so huge and so widely
popular and played all over the world and worshipped actually ruined the band.
So yeah, interesting stuff, man.
Let's see, you want to do one more story and then we're going to go ahead and get out of
here?
Yeah, sounds good.
Okay, I want to do this because this story won't hold up in a couple of days or whatever.
But we do podcast tomorrow.
The Philadelphia Eagles went into Sunday's week 18 matchup with the Giants having an
outside shot at the NFC East title.
Basically, they needed a win and the Cowboys to lose or tie against the lowly commanders.
For head coach Nick Sirianni, that was enough of an incentive to play the starters at MetLife
Stadium, but it didn't take long for that decision to turn costly.
In the first quarter, star receiver AJ Brown went down clutching his knee after he fumbled
at the tall end of the reception.
Brown left the game and went straight to locker room.
And while Sunday's game did have playoff implications for the Eagles, fans were understandably
furious to see Sirianni taking that risk at MetLife's turf.
And you know what?
It said the commanders here, this is actually on here.
They meant the Giants.
Yeah, that's what.
Yeah.
MetLife Stadium, and I knew it happened at MetLife.
That's why I paused.
I'm like, wait a minute.
Someone did not.
Yeah, MetLife is Giants.
Yes.
Someone did not edit this right.
And while Sunday's game did have playoff implications for the Eagles, fans were understandably
furious Sirianni take that risk on MetLife's turf, which has led to some major injuries
over the years, having faith in the Giants to pull an upset probably wasn't worth losing
Brown for an extended time.
So they don't, I don't know.
I got to check up on that.
You know, MetLife Stadium has been a disaster with a horrible artificial turf.
This year alone, many high caliber players suffer major injuries at the hand of this
carpet.
Today, last game of the regular season, AJ Brown goes down with a possible ACL injury.
First game of the 2023 regular season claimed Aaron Rodgers, future Hall of Famer.
There is a grassroots effort to boycott the stadium until the turf is replaced with natural
grass.
A-Rodge iconic.
Yeah, they need to replace Bayroge.
It's probably Karma and Brown was probably the DT curse because of that dumb shit Nick
Garrett and the Sirianni fat mouth and arrowhead stadium.
So they really need to get on that.
They really need to fix that.
It's unacceptable that they let all these big key injuries.
AJ Brown, look, I don't like the Eagles.
I don't like their fans.
I don't like their head coach.
The only thing I like about the Eagles is Jason Kelsey.
I wish he'd quit and come to Kansas City.
So anyhow, that being said, this is wrong.
People's careers are being cut short because they refuse to change the turf.
So anyhow, now I'm off of my soap box.
Rob, you got anything before we end this bitch?
Yeah, I got another quick little one.
All right, cool.
According to Cheapism, this is supposedly the best in the nation and you can only find
it in Kansas City.
It also seems that the one hard decision Missourians have to make when it comes to the barbecue
style hot dog is to get either sauerkraut or Swiss cheese as a topping.
But the sound of a barbecue style hot dog sounds appetizing, while there is only one
place you can get it and that's the Wiener Kitchen.
Make sure you ask for the Casey Frank.
It looks, how does a chicken apple frank sound?
Or how about the jalapeno cheddar kebab?
The Wiener Kitchen?
Never heard of it.
I'm looking to that right now.
Go ahead, Rob.
This came out January 9th.
Okay, here it is.
This is Sausage Kingdom, Wiener Kitchen.
Wow, it's in Overland Park.
It's not too far away from me.
The Wiener Kitchen is established in 2017, is located 9645 West 87th Street, Overland
Park, Kansas.
It's a little bit further from me, but still.
I know exactly where it's at.
It's on Farley, on the library shops.
Visit us for breakfast and lunch.
Take home fresh sausages and other essential home from our case.
Cool, they make their own sausages.
That's a plus.
Cool, and this is the barbecue hot dog?
Yeah, this story was about the barbecue style hot dog.
Oh, there it is.
There it is.
Then it started mentioning chicken apple frank and jalapeno cheddar kebab.
Yep, the chorizo rojo, bacon sausage, chili cheese dog, Casey Frank, classic dog, and
the vegan, roasted cauliflower, walnut, and wild rice link.
Green tomato relish, pickled Brussels kraut, whole grain Dijon.
No, not for me.
Oh, they have cool looking slides too.
They have slaw, they have chips, they have chorizo black bean chili, house salads.
Let's see, kids hot dog meal.
Oh, green eggs and hen is one of their specialties.
I don't know what that is.
Eggs to orders and they have flapjacks.
They actually call them flapjacks.
Okay, and then the breakfast sandwich, sausage patty and fried egg between two pancakes.
Ooh, okay.
Thanks, mom.
You know what?
I may be giving you guys a review.
Thank you.
Gosh, I can't think tonight.
I may be giving you guys a review from the wiener kitchen tomorrow.
If I can make it over there, I will.
All right.
Thank you, Rob.
You're welcome.
All right, this is our time to say goodbye and have a good night and we will revisit
everything tomorrow.
Good night, everybody.
Hey, where did they go?
Where are the douchebags?
Oh my God, someone took a dump in the corner.
Oh, geez.
Glad they're gone.
Let's just hope they don't come back.
Man, that smells.
Good night.