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Live from the historic river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the crystal blue waters of the Missouri River, it's Two Douchebags and a Microphone Podcast.

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And now it's time for the Daily Douchebag Pledge.

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Two Douchebags and a Microphone Pledge, I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to download every show.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to grab family members phones and download the show from there.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to go to public computers and download the show from there.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to laugh at all the unfunny jokes.

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I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to lie to all my friends and tell them how good the show is.

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And finally, I, Joe, or Jane listener, promise to visit Montrose, Missouri to take advantage of the power plant, campgrounds, and junkyard all within its quarter mile radius.

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Ho, ho, ho, this is Crotch the Old Saint Prick.

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I'm the guy that comes in after Christmas and douses all your dreams and hopes.

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Ho, ho, ho.

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Oh, well looky here, my first letter is from Little Timmy from Akron, Ohio.

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It says, Dear Crotch the Old Saint Prick, I would love to have a new bicycle.

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Well, Little Timmy, I have a poem for you.

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A poem for you, it goes, Roses are red, violets are blue, you're not getting dick, so fuck you.

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Ho, ho, ho.

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And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.

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If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

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Hm, I may never know.

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Once again, it's time for Ramblings of a Madman.

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I believe Congress needs to synchronize tap dance for 20 minutes before each session.

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That needs to happen.

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Two douchebags and a microphone, my name is Mark.

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And I am Rob.

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It is New Year's Eve.

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The Kansas City Chiefs about an hour and a half ago defeated the Cincinnati Bungles.

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And they have taken home their eighth Western Division title.

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And anyhow, Natty is being a bunch of little bitches, throwing punches and rambling in their mouth.

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Jamar Chase, that little bitch, waving his tiny little fist in the air talking about,

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Ho, ho, we're gonna kill him, we can do this.

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How about Burrowhead now? How about if you suck my dick, you fuck nuts?

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Yeah, how you like that? A big case of going the fuck home and not going to the playoffs.

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Yeah, rattle your mouth now, Natty. Rattle your mouth now.

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Because you got all fucking year to do it.

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I'm not saying the Chiefs are gonna win the Super Bowl or even come close, but I know this, we beat your ass.

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So shut up and go home, bitches.

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So, anyhow, what I really want to get to in the NFL is these fucking referees and how fucking stupid they are.

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By the way, nicely done. Nicely done.

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Thank you. Thank you.

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The referees are fucking ridiculous in the NFL.

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And they need to fucking stop it.

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Because if the Chiefs wasn't perennial winners and if we didn't have them at home.

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And forget about Kelsey, I think he's gone. He's up Taylor Swift's ass.

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So, anyhow, he can stay there, man. We can't pay that guy that kind of money to come up with 16 fucking yards.

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Sorry, not. Not sorry.

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So, anyhow, like I said last podcast and I stick to it.

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Oh no, wait, it's not published yet. You know what? You'll hear it.

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Anyhow, let me stay on script here.

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They don't help run the referees. Oh, the Detroit Lions.

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You know what? Here's what they need to do is they need to give them that win that they deserved.

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It was complete utter bullshit what happened last night.

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Last night, two receivers checked in and said, hey, I'm an eligible receiver, which is what you need to do.

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If you have a lineman that might catch a pass, they have to check in the referee and say, hey, I'm an eligible receiver.

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If not, if you throw it to them, it's a penalty, right? Yep.

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Okay. The guy did it and they still flagged him and said he didn't.

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It was on a two point conversion that went in and Detroit would have won.

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They would have won the game. But no.

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Then on the next one, they throw a fucking delay. Was it delay? Shit, I forgot what it was now.

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Damn it. They throw a penalty, which was also bullshit. And I think one of those referees, in my opinion, had some fucking money on the game.

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That's the only way. I don't. I refuse to think he can be that fucking stupid.

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It was ridiculous what happened last night. It needs to stop in the NFL.

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They need to have an overriding board that looks at these games and says, this was so fucking ridiculous and stupid that we're going to give the guys a game that they deserve.

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And the reason this is so important is Detroit could have got the number one seed if they didn't fuck him out of it.

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And I'm not a Detroit fan. I don't even like him at all.

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But what is fair is fair. The Chiefs got fucked. Everybody gets fucked on games because these referees are as blind as a fucking bat.

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And Roger Goodell is such a goddamn idiot that he won't do a fucking thing about and I'm fucking sick of it.

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Goodell, straighten your fucking bullshit up.

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Because I'll tell you what, people like me are getting sick of the fucking NFL and it's antics and these bullshit referees that are blind as a bat can't get their head out of their ass.

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Either that or they're betting on these fucking games and they're swaying them.

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But I'm fucking sick of it and I guarantee you, Joe, fan down the road is too.

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You better straighten your shit out because I'm fucking sick of it.

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Now, let's go on to other things, Rob. You want to go on to other things?

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Sure.

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You didn't say nicely done on that one.

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Well, no, I didn't. I was trying to nice it up because no, I agree with you. I agree with you 100%.

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That's bullshit. Yeah, Rob, you got it. I'm sorry I stole everything here.

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But what are they supposed to do after the game's over? You know?

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I know. And here's the deal right here.

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Make them play the game all over again? How fair is that?

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No, here is what I think. If it is something as egregious as that, they need to award the team to the team that should have won it.

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They should have gave Detroit the game.

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Yeah, if it's a game-winning situation, I agree.

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It was a game-winning situation and they lost. They lost because of that.

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Right, right, right.

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Yeah, it's complete bullshit because they went and they did the two-point conversion over and then they got a penalty.

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And then after the penalty, they tried to do the two- well, some of it's on Detroit's coach.

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He should have just kicked the field goal and went for overtime. Or not the field goal, but the point after and went into overtime.

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But he didn't. But still, the fact is, I know the reason he did it is because he got fucked and he was mad.

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He goes, we're still going to ram this ball in. But they didn't.

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So, anyhow, it's complete bullshit and they need to start looking- like right now, the game's over, right?

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They already played the game yesterday, yesterday evening.

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Right, right.

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They need to have an overhead board that looks at this and goes, you know what, we did rip them off.

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Okay, we're going to give Detroit the game because they rightfully deserved it.

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Number two, this referee's on suspension until he can do a better job. Or fire him.

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I agree.

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Yeah.

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It is wrong the way teams are getting robbed.

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Earlier in the year, all this shit, you know, man, Mahomes and Reed are always playing by the script.

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They're do-gooders, they're nice people, they don't say things about other people normally.

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But they were so irritated and mad, they got $10,000 fines. Or was it $50,000?

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They- the referees bungled that fucking game so bad that it made people that have never gotten a fine before in the NFL get a fine because they knew how bad they were screwed.

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Because on our game, Kaderius Tony looked over to the ref and he said, am I over the line?

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The referee didn't answer him. He just looked at him.

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The referee was being a cocksucker. And here's why.

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Yeah.

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The referee is like, oh, I'm just not going to answer you because I don't have to.

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Well, that's what you're there for, you dumbass.

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And you should have been fired after that because you, sir, are a piece of shit.

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So, anyhow, the NFL needs to clean its shit up because I guarantee you, once the Chiefs lose Mahomes and they're no longer a perennial winner, I won't give a flying fuck about football just like I don't give a fuck about baseball.

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You know why I don't give a fuck about baseball? Because they suck.

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They can't run their organization good enough to keep my interest.

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So, and the NFL is going down that different reason, but they're going down that wormhole right now.

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They need to stop it because it is egregious what these referees are doing.

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And I wouldn't doubt, in my opinion, if they're fucking betting on these games and swaying it. Why wouldn't they?

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No one's doing anything about them.

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Roger Goodell is over there with his thumb up his ass grabbing profits.

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He don't give a shit. What does he care?

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So, anyhow, it's ridiculous.

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So, okay, Rob, it's New Year's Eve.

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You said you have a house full of teenagers, is that it?

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Yeah. There's like five in there right now.

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All right. Okay. Well, they're being really...

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Actually, these are some pretty special teenagers right now.

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You got... Yes. Yeah. Go ahead.

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Yeah. I was telling you about that last night.

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Let me pull this... there we are.

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This is really cool.

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Yes. This is very cool.

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This... I knew about this because my son is part of this group.

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His best friends are a part of this group.

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And you can find this story on LakeExpo.com.

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It's actually been printed and everything else.

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Campton, Missouri, 23 members of the SK8 Renew Team attended the Campton Board of Aldermen meeting December 19th to talk about the group and ask for assistance with installing lights at the Campton City Park.

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Several teams addressed the board during the citizens' comment portion on the Tuesday meeting.

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And this is, quote, as skaters, we strive to show people we are more than just hoodlums that gather at the park, said SK8 Renew Team member Nathan White.

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Skating is a team sport. We want to, with your help, improve our community by making our skate park more efficient and enjoyable for kids, not just kids in Campton, but across mid-Missouri.

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The group plans to invite other teams to competitions and trainings in the Campton skate park.

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White said he thinks the impact of the skate park could be large.

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And this story keeps going.

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There's other kids that got up and spoke.

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And what it boils down to is it looks like the city's going to help them with lights and stuff like that.

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And they've been doing fundraisers, and they're raising money to put in on this.

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Like when we get some snow, they're going to go out shovel snow driveways and stuff.

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And they're putting on a cruise event in October over at the park.

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There's a food truck, car show, all kinds of stuff. And all the proceeds are going to this.

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Very cool.

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And the reason why they want lights is some of them are older. They work. They work, they go to school, whatever. They get done. It's done.

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So they can't skate.

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Yeah, I get it.

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These kids, they're going to go in, they're training people, they're going to have classes, they're going to try to do competitions. These are good kids, man.

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And I can call them my kids.

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That's good. Well, they have good influences like you around. And that's one of the big things.

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So anyhow, congratulations, kids. You guys did a good job.

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And thank you for that, Rob. I appreciated that whole story when you told me about it yesterday.

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I'm like, yeah, that'd be a good thing to lead off to. So anyhow.

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Yeah. Like I said, I got five of them in my living room right now.

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I knew I was going to be on a tirade about football because of the way you're...

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Oh, and also, I forgot. I need to do this. Congratulations to the Missouri Tigers, beating the Ohio State Buckeyes and beating the hell out of them 14 to 3.

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Congratulations, Mizzou. You're probably going to get a top five finish and well deserved.

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Eli Drakewitz, I'm glad they did not fire you last year like everybody wanted to.

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Sorry, Ruth Ann.

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Oh, Ruth Ann. Yeah, Ruth Ann. She's probably never going to...

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She told me. She said, you're too rude. I probably won't listen to you anymore.

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I said, oh, then maybe I'll call you a stupid bitch then.

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I think I did it.

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So anyhow, I have got to, I've got to mention this.

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My new toy that I found in a box. I told you about it yesterday.

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And this is what I used to screw with the meth heads next door to me. The Methersons.

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Oh, yes. You did tell me about that.

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Now this thing is cool. Let me go ahead and get it started here.

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Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

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Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

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That is a megaphone.

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And anyhow, I had some Methersons next to me.

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And I got tired of their antics. You know, they would be out all night burning, burning, burning wire.

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Burning rubber wire to get the copper out of it to sell it to get meth.

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And anyhow, I found that device online and I bought it.

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And I used to sit there playing that weird fucking screaming noise that I put in there.

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And also the cop noise. And it was funny because I could see through my privacy fence.

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I could see him tweaking and looking up like fucking yard apes.

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Oh shit! Here they come!

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And anyhow, I just recently found it in a box. Actually two days ago I found it in a box.

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I'm like, hey! Alright! I got the Methersons toy.

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So anyhow, it was fun while it lasted. But then they kept going to jail.

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And then I just, I kind of lost interest.

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They're the people I got my ducks from. Remember I told you about my ducks?

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Yeah, yeah.

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Yeah, anyhow, they had like some sort of relative. They had a farm.

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And one day I go to work and my mom calls me at work.

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She lived down the road. She lived a block away.

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And that's why I stayed there in Cleveland.

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Otherwise I would have moved out way before then.

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Because I could see like the people there were starting to decline.

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The older people were dying off or going to homes.

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And they started making rentals and section eights.

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So anyhow, my mom calls me and she goes, where did you get the goats?

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I'm like, a little early for dementia or Alzheimer's, isn't it?

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Where did you get the goats, Mark? I don't have goats.

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The fuck are you talking about, Mom?

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The goats in your yard. They're eating up your red bud trees.

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They're eating the tops out of them. What?

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There's goats in your yard eating up the fucking red bud trees.

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She didn't say fucking. And I'm like, what?

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So anyhow, then these goats went all around town in Cleveland, Missouri.

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And I didn't know this until after this happened.

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But goats like to sit on car hoods. They like to sit on...

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Oh, dude.

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Oh, you knew this?

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Oh, yeah, yeah.

211
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:02,000
And every car get down Cleveland and put all these big dents in them.

212
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:06,000
They ate all my red bud trees, ate the tops out of them.

213
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:12,000
And then I get home and I seen the cops over there wrangling up these two goats that they accidentally out of the...

214
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:18,000
Let out of their yard. And I find out later they have some cousin or uncle or something that had a farm.

215
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:25,000
And they get these animals for their kids because, you know, they were stupid asses and probably didn't pay that much attention to them because they're doing drugs.

216
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:30,000
So anyhow, so anyhow, that was the first one.

217
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:35,000
And then they got some ducks. And then one weekend they went to jail.

218
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:39,000
And I'm like, huh, hmm, wonder where the ducks are.

219
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:44,000
So I talked to their mom and she's like, oh, no, I don't think we have our ducks.

220
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,000
And I'm like, yeah, you got...they had ducks.

221
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,000
Oh, I don't know, man. Maybe they ran off.

222
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,000
Then I'm like, I don't know. I think I hear them.

223
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:59,000
And it's like 98 degrees. It was like eight in the morning. It's going to be blistering hot.

224
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:06,000
And the dumb asses, before they went to jail, took the ducks and threw them in this fucking metal shed.

225
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,000
With no food or water. Yeah.

226
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:12,000
So I go, hey, do you mind if I go over there and check that shed?

227
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,000
No, I don't care. Whatever.

228
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,000
And so I'm like, all right, I go over there.

229
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:21,000
I open up the shed and these ducks come running out and they follow me into my yard.

230
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,000
So I'm like, they're my fucking ducks now.

231
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,000
So I close the fence and I just started feeding them.

232
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:33,000
When the Methersons came back in a week or whatever, I just told them, I said, yeah, they're my ducks.

233
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:37,000
And they're like, I don't even think they remembered they even had ducks, to tell you the truth.

234
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,000
They were like...

235
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're my ducks.

236
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:47,000
So anyhow, I had them up until the point of I did not know.

237
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:51,000
Did you know that owls attack ducks and eat them?

238
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,000
No, I did not. I didn't either.

239
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,000
So one night I come home. It was a Sunday. I remember it really well.

240
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:03,000
I had to work early in the morning. This is my old job and I had to be there at five in the morning.

241
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,000
And so I went to bed at like eight thirty.

242
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,000
And I had, and back then I had like forty five minutes to work.

243
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:15,000
So anyhow, I'm getting ready to go to bed and the ducks keep acting like they want to go in the house.

244
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,000
I'm like, man, that's weird.

245
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:23,000
You know, they like me and everything, but only, you know, I could go over there and I could pet them two times, but then they'd leave.

246
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:30,000
Right. They were ducks and they were tame, but they were never that tame to where they'd like to just like walk up to you and sit next to you.

247
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,000
So I'm like, that's odd. They're acting like they want in the house.

248
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,000
Well, they knew that owl was watching them, but I didn't.

249
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:40,000
So anyhow, I wake up at like three in the morning here. Blum, blum, blum, blum, blum.

250
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,000
And I'm like, what the fuck was that?

251
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:50,000
Open up the door and the big duck fucking runs in the house screaming and the little ducks all bloody fighting this owl.

252
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:55,000
And I go out there and I kick the owl right in the fucking head and the owl takes off.

253
00:20:56,000 --> 00:21:00,000
And then the bloody duck comes running in and anyhow, it's bleeding all over.

254
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:06,000
I'm like, oh shit. So I peel off my t-shirt and I applied direct pressure and the duck was fine.

255
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:11,000
Okay. So anyhow, all the old timers around Cleveland, they told me this.

256
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:17,000
They said once an owl tastes blood, it's going to come back with other owls and they're going to kill your ducks.

257
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,000
You need to get rid of them. So the next day I called down to the set.

258
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:25,000
You know, the Lakeside Nature Sanctuary of Swope Park, Rob?

259
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:30,000
I've heard of it. I've never been there but I've heard of it.

260
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,000
Okay. Well I called down there. I said, Hey, you guys take ducks?

261
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:40,000
She said no, but actually one of the volunteer veterinarians here has a duck sanctuary at her house.

262
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,000
I'm like, really? She goes, yeah, but it's a ways off.

263
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:49,000
And I go, well where? Peculiar, Missouri? I go, shit. That's six miles from me.

264
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:58,000
She said, sure, just give me the address and let her know I'm coming by. So I bought her a couple of big 50 pound bags of food donated to her charity, her duck charity.

265
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:08,000
And they lived happily ever after. And you know what they did to ward off owls? I didn't know this. Goats. Goats ward off owls.

266
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:15,000
Yes. Owls are deathly afraid of goats. I don't know if it's because they like have their horns and they butt them.

267
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:26,000
But anyhow, on their land they have like four goats. And the veterinarian proceeded to tell me, she goes, yeah, she goes, we have goats because owls are afraid of goats and they will not attack the ducks.

268
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:33,000
I'm like, oh, that's great. They said, yeah. They said coyotes won't come around them because of the goats.

269
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:38,000
So like there's lots of different predators that are afraid of goats.

270
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:47,000
Yeah. So she said these ducks will live a full life here. They'll be fine. And they had a big pond and a small pond.

271
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:57,000
And for years I could go by and identify them because there was one small one and one big one and they were kind of like Tennessee tuxedo and chumlee was it?

272
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:03,000
Yeah. Yeah. You know, big one and a little one. Tennessee tuxedo and chumlee. Yeah.

273
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:12,000
Yeah. And they're kind of like that. They used to like walk next to each other and Valerie named them quick and quack because the little one was fast and the big one quacked.

274
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:20,000
So anyhow, it was cool while it lasted until the owls came. But you know what? They lived their life and they're gone now. They're in duck heaven.

275
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:27,000
But from old age, not from being killed by an owl. But all this started with the Methersons, didn't it?

276
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:36,000
So anyhow, let's take our first break because we're well into this and we'll be right back with more bullshit. Guaranteed. You're welcome America.

277
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:48,000
The apocalypse just happened. You don't know what to do. You don't know where to go. But we can tell you what you can eat.

278
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:59,000
Hi all. This is Mark here. I'm usually the one telling you what to eat during an apocalypse. Well, this time I decided to go the other way.

279
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:07,000
You ever consider just going to Ground Zero and saying fuck it? Do you really want to be the guy running around looking for radioactive deer?

280
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:15,000
Guessing whether water is not contaminated or not. No food, no shelter, no nothing. Oh no, there's a strong argument that says you know what?

281
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:21,000
Let's just go to Ground Zero and see what's for us after. Just a thought.

282
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:25,000
Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.

283
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:34,000
Man, Axel Rose is such a great childhood therapist. I hope he writes more books.

284
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:41,000
Two dish bags and a microphone worth every penny. That's why it's free.

285
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:44,000
Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.

286
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:53,000
Joe Buck and Troy Aitman are being all televised in Radio Games of the NFL this year.

287
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:59,000
As pleasant as 50 grit sandpaper to your inner thighs.

288
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:13,000
You watch For anni and the like.

289
00:25:13,540 --> 00:25:17,000
More as useful as a car廢light with firsts.

290
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:21,200
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

291
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:24,600
It's strange insult from an alien.

292
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:25,600
Real hilarity.

293
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:28,600
You look like you smell like shit!

294
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:29,600
Hey look!

295
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:30,600
I think we found land!

296
00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:31,600
Oh my god!

297
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:32,600
I think we're safe!

298
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:33,600
Oh no!

299
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:34,600
It's the island of horrible jokes!

300
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:35,600
What?!

301
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:36,600
What with the coach?

302
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:50,120
Say to the vending machine, give me my quarterback!

303
00:25:50,120 --> 00:26:06,920
I'm going to get you!

304
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:07,920
Cool!

305
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:08,920
Some place to keep your RC's!

306
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:09,920
Yes!

307
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:14,320
Well I do have some Yendling in there too and I do have some KC Beer Company Dunkle

308
00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:15,600
in there too.

309
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:18,360
But yeah I have a place to keep my RC's mainly.

310
00:26:18,360 --> 00:26:19,600
You're right.

311
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:23,240
But lately they've been real sugar RC's because I actually found some.

312
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:24,240
Oh cool!

313
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:27,680
Yeah pure cane sugar RC's it's the best.

314
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,960
So I'd like to find some down here.

315
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:36,840
Before I go into things to whisper in a stranger's ear New Year's Eve edition.

316
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:38,840
That sounds good doesn't it?

317
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:39,840
Yeah!

318
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:41,480
Yeah we haven't had that in a long time.

319
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:44,680
Have you ever heard of Twixmas?

320
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:47,200
No.

321
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:55,200
Okay Twixmas is the unofficial term for the period between Christmas and New Year.

322
00:26:55,200 --> 00:27:03,360
This covers the days before Boxing Day before December 27th and December 30th.

323
00:27:03,360 --> 00:27:09,120
While no official dictionaries have recognized it, it increasingly is used in commercial

324
00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:10,120
settings.

325
00:27:10,120 --> 00:27:15,400
If anything it's a good way to summarize the period before New Year and where people

326
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:20,000
don't tend to do a lot apart from relaxing.

327
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,920
So this goes to this.

328
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:27,320
There's a big debate on where the origin of Twixmas came from right?

329
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:31,480
I didn't even know about it until I found this article did you?

330
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:32,480
Well you said you didn't.

331
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:35,480
I'm just now hearing about it.

332
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:38,920
It's hard to tell where the word came from but some reports suggest it's linked to the

333
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:43,880
old English word betwixt which means between.

334
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:49,360
Others have suggested that marketeers and salespeople created it as another way to advertise

335
00:27:49,360 --> 00:27:51,040
the holiday period.

336
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:56,240
According to the urban dictionary, however, there might be some reference to Twix take

337
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:58,440
a break.

338
00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:04,080
The famous chocolate bars tagline Need a Moment was hugely popular in the early 2000s and

339
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:10,000
some might interpret it as a link to taking a break between the two holidays.

340
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:14,640
The period between Christmas and the New Year's is often considered a strange part of the

341
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:15,640
calendar.

342
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:20,240
Some people have to go to work while others it feels like is a series of endless lazy

343
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:25,520
Sundays with post-Christmas TV programs and leftover roast potatoes.

344
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:30,440
Time is but a construct for those few hours of daylight when you have no obligation to

345
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:32,520
do anything whatsoever.

346
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:40,560
So who knows but I do have a list of what you can do for Twixmas.

347
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:44,280
Are you ready for that Rob because we're all wanting to know what we can do for Twixmas,

348
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:45,280
right?

349
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:46,280
Yes.

350
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:47,280
Yes.

351
00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:52,240
As already mentioned the Twixmas period isn't a bank holiday so some people unfortunately

352
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:53,600
have to go to work.

353
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:57,280
Many would have instead taken the Christmas break off work meaning they've got plenty

354
00:28:57,280 --> 00:29:01,940
of time to relax and decompress before New Year's Eve parties begin.

355
00:29:01,940 --> 00:29:08,360
I was heading back to you know what I should have never went to the rest of this article.

356
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:11,080
I apologize America.

357
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:13,240
It's lame.

358
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:17,520
All this says is you can relax or you can go to work.

359
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:18,520
That's all you need to know.

360
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:19,520
Sorry.

361
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:22,520
Oh I've been on vacation for two weeks.

362
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:28,560
Oh you know that's the only thing I miss about my old lame job those idiots over there.

363
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:35,440
That's the only thing I miss about it is they took two weeks off usually and I enjoyed the

364
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:37,320
hell out of that.

365
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:41,920
Now I've got to work like hell before Christmas but you know what?

366
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:46,720
It's a much better job so it's worth it but anyhow I do miss that.

367
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:52,600
So anyhow before I go into things to whisper in a stranger's ear, you got anything you

368
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:55,600
want to go into?

369
00:29:55,600 --> 00:30:08,960
Yeah this is 12 Morning Bad Habits that Damage Your Life.

370
00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:09,960
Okay.

371
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:17,480
And after reading it, yeah my life needs some work.

372
00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:19,480
Is heroin one of them?

373
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:20,480
No.

374
00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:21,480
No.

375
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:23,680
Just wondering.

376
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:26,280
Just asking for fun.

377
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:27,280
Go ahead.

378
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:28,280
Skipping breakfast.

379
00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:29,280
Yes.

380
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:30,280
I can believe that.

381
00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:41,040
You don't get the energy you need and it'll still make you feel tired.

382
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:49,320
My problem is I get up to about five, I'm at work at seven thirty, I eat while I work

383
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:53,880
about nine, nine thirty.

384
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:59,560
So yeah maybe I can get a little better on that one.

385
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:02,560
Ignoring water intake.

386
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:03,560
Guilty.

387
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:11,160
Well what they're suggesting is first thing when you wake up.

388
00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:12,160
I used to do that.

389
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:13,160
That's what they're talking about.

390
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:18,040
But man I have to fucking piss off the hook after that.

391
00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:29,160
Well when you sleep, and I read this article, I'm just breaking it down for everybody.

392
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:33,640
When you sleep you dehydrate.

393
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:40,520
So they suggest having a glass of water next to your bed or whatever.

394
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:43,880
And that's a problem I have.

395
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:48,560
I wake up, even in the middle of the night, I get up to go to the bathroom, I have to

396
00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:50,560
get a drink before I go back down.

397
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:52,800
I get my face so dry.

398
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:57,160
You see I don't want to because I know I'm going to be back up in two hours to piss.

399
00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:00,600
So I'm a little bit thirsty but most of the times I'm like no you know what I'm going

400
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:03,640
to go back to bed and ignore it.

401
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:04,640
But I get it.

402
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:09,880
I mean when I was younger I'd go like drink three cups of water because I was parched

403
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:11,680
but not now because of that.

404
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:15,240
But okay anyhow go ahead.

405
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:16,240
Right.

406
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:17,240
Overusing snooze.

407
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:21,520
That's kind of a given.

408
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:22,520
I don't do that.

409
00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:25,800
Man I learned my lesson on that a long time ago.

410
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:26,800
I don't wake up.

411
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:31,600
I get snoozed once maybe twice but then I'm up.

412
00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:32,600
Okay.

413
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,800
Okay we all have our own system.

414
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:38,800
Yeah yeah.

415
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:43,080
Next checking emails and social media immediately.

416
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:46,720
Oh yeah man I agree with that 100%.

417
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:49,040
My life is a lot better now than I don't do that.

418
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:52,640
I ignore it at least till lunch break if not later.

419
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:55,240
No not me.

420
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:56,680
I get up.

421
00:32:56,680 --> 00:33:02,200
I go outside, have a cigarette and then I'll come in and check my social media.

422
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:05,000
If I smoked then I would probably do it outside when I smoked.

423
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:06,000
I'd probably get on my phone.

424
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,320
No I wait till I come back in.

425
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:10,520
Okay okay that's cool.

426
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:11,520
Okay.

427
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:15,240
I'm a little bored right now.

428
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:16,240
It happens.

429
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:21,560
Well plus I also check to see if we've got a new show out.

430
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:22,560
Oh yeah that's right.

431
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:23,560
I forgot.

432
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:24,560
So I got to listen to it.

433
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:27,000
And also seeing if we break any more barriers.

434
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:32,600
I mean last month was the best month ever by double or triple.

435
00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:36,840
This month is the second best month ever by double.

436
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:40,440
So the graph is looking really good.

437
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:43,440
Go ahead.

438
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:46,240
And neglecting personal hygiene.

439
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:49,120
Yeah I could see that.

440
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:50,120
Yeah.

441
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:54,880
You know you let yourself go on shaving after a day or two.

442
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:56,560
You don't feel as good.

443
00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:57,560
No I agree.

444
00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:04,520
When you shave and you put a little fucking product in your hair.

445
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:06,400
You go in with a little bit more confidence.

446
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:08,320
I agree with that.

447
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:11,080
I don't always do it but I agree with it.

448
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:14,200
Well it can get lazy from time to time.

449
00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:17,200
You know it's too easy to get the fuck it's.

450
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:18,920
You look at it and go ah fuck it.

451
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:22,080
It's going to take ten minutes to straighten this shit out.

452
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:23,080
I just won't.

453
00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:27,680
That's why I wear ball caps.

454
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:28,680
Yeah I get it.

455
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:29,680
You know I don't even have to brush my hair.

456
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:30,680
Plus I keep my hair short.

457
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:31,680
I just don't have a hat.

458
00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:32,680
I do too anymore.

459
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:37,600
Man I kept my hair short for a long time.

460
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:38,600
So anyhow.

461
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:39,600
Yep go ahead.

462
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:40,600
Okay next.

463
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:41,600
Not prioritizing exercise.

464
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:42,600
Absolutely.

465
00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:43,600
Yep.

466
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:52,440
Whenever I exercise I feel so much better.

467
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:56,040
Man there just something about getting the adrenaline and the blood flowing and you just

468
00:34:56,040 --> 00:35:00,360
feel stronger, healthier, happier.

469
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:01,360
Yeah I get it.

470
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:02,360
I agree.

471
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:03,360
I gotta wait.

472
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:04,360
When I get up I gotta stretch.

473
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:05,360
I gotta do some stretches.

474
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:11,480
You gotta work your way into that.

475
00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:12,480
I get it.

476
00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:15,000
I would always do stretches but I agree with them.

477
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:21,280
I see what you're saying.

478
00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:25,920
And then there's overlooking your mental health.

479
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:34,320
Then sit and meditate for a while in the morning.

480
00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:35,320
That's what they're suggesting.

481
00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:36,320
I look in the mirror.

482
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:37,320
You gotta work on yourself.

483
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:42,120
You gotta have your me time.

484
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:44,960
I look in the mirror and I just repeat after myself.

485
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:45,960
I am not crazy.

486
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:46,960
I'm not insane.

487
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:47,960
I'm not crazy.

488
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:48,960
I'm not insane.

489
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:49,960
I'm not crazy.

490
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:50,960
I'm not insane.

491
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:51,960
There you go.

492
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:52,960
Yeah whatever works.

493
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:53,960
There you go.

494
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:58,880
You meditate, I remind myself I'm not crazy or insane.

495
00:35:58,880 --> 00:35:59,880
It all works right?

496
00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:00,880
Yeah.

497
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:01,880
Okay.

498
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:04,880
Next up rushing through the morning.

499
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:09,880
What does that mean exactly?

500
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:16,160
Does that mean slow down, eat some breakfast?

501
00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:20,720
Like getting up late and having to rush out the door.

502
00:36:20,720 --> 00:36:23,200
Yeah that's why I don't hit snooze anymore.

503
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:26,000
Because it leads to a horrible day to me.

504
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:27,000
If I'm rushing.

505
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:28,760
Oh it throws my whole day off.

506
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:29,760
Oh I hate it.

507
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:30,760
I'm disoriented.

508
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:31,760
Yeah.

509
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:32,760
Me too.

510
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:33,760
Yep.

511
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:42,600
Consuming negative information first thing in the morning.

512
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:44,160
Yes.

513
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:45,760
Yes.

514
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:49,400
Yeah filter what comes to you in the morning.

515
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:52,080
And that's why I don't look at social media or my phone.

516
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:59,400
All of a sudden you see a terrorist attack, 500 dead or whatever.

517
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:00,880
Tsunami whatever.

518
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:02,000
It just sets a whole day.

519
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,200
It sets a dark cloud over the whole day.

520
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:05,200
100% agree.

521
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:11,520
Well that's what my kids know not to say anything to me until I say something to them.

522
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:13,120
If not you punch them in the face right?

523
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:16,120
Yeah they're going to ruin my whole day.

524
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:21,800
Yeah you just punch them right in the face when they do that.

525
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:24,760
Inconsistent wake up times.

526
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:30,040
Yeah I can see that.

527
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:32,040
And neglecting day planning.

528
00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:35,680
Which is something I like to do.

529
00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:38,840
I like to have my day planned out.

530
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:41,040
I'm a routine type person.

531
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:42,320
So am I.

532
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:43,720
So am I.

533
00:37:43,720 --> 00:37:46,360
So like tomorrow morning I already got that planned out.

534
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:47,360
I go to my happy place.

535
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:49,160
Down there is City Market Coffee.

536
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:51,480
I write out some stories.

537
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:57,640
I sip my, I think I'm going to go with the espresso and follow it up with a very strong

538
00:37:57,640 --> 00:37:59,680
cappuccino tomorrow morning.

539
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:03,400
And I'm going to just sit there and look out and watch the people walking by.

540
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:06,040
It sounds like a beautiful thing to me.

541
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:07,040
So yep.

542
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:12,520
And last up, oh I said the me time is so important.

543
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:15,520
Go ahead I'm sorry.

544
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:20,040
And last up, living in Colorado.

545
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:22,200
10%.

546
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:24,480
Clutter makes me angry.

547
00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:27,840
Does it you?

548
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:28,840
A little bit.

549
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:33,160
Okay my place is lived in.

550
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:35,160
It's not cluttered.

551
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:36,160
There's a difference.

552
00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:38,880
There's a difference.

553
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,840
I think that list is spot on.

554
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:43,800
I did too.

555
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:44,800
Who did that?

556
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:47,800
Who did that list?

557
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:50,800
NewTraderU.com.

558
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:55,200
Okay well I think they were spot on with everything.

559
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:57,240
Thank you Rob.

560
00:38:57,240 --> 00:38:59,160
Alright.

561
00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:05,440
Like before mentioned, things to whisper in a stranger's ear.

562
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:11,600
Like I said before, Topher and I started this maybe the third or fourth podcast in and it

563
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,880
went over so well and we loved this segment so well.

564
00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:19,080
Things like New Douche Flavors, Jeffy X, you know all this.

565
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:20,840
It's a reoccurring thing.

566
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:22,640
Paddleings, Ask Paddleings.

567
00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:30,520
Oh we got some new, we got a couple of Ask Paddleings suggestions through email.

568
00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:31,520
Alright.

569
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:35,680
Yeah, there's a little war going on right now.

570
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:38,960
But that's not for this, I don't have them all written out yet.

571
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:40,840
I don't have them all typed out or nothing.

572
00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:46,320
So hopefully I'll get that tomorrow at the City Market, I'll be able to get to that and

573
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:50,800
get that lined out and we'll do it here soon.

574
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:53,520
Okay things to whisper in a stranger's ear.

575
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:57,400
The last one of the year of 2023.

576
00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:00,840
Wrapping it up with a neat little bow and wiping our ass with it and throwing it out

577
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:02,080
the door.

578
00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:07,040
Okay first thing to whisper in a stranger's ear.

579
00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:09,560
You sunk my battleship.

580
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:23,000
Not everybody will get that but the ones that do will go, oh yeah, yeah I remember.

581
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:24,000
Next one up.

582
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:30,760
Now this one has to be done with a certain amount of look and motion from you.

583
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:36,600
You have to look down at your crotch and go, what way is it hanging?

584
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:39,520
Yeah I definitely would.

585
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:45,880
Now probably 100% of the people that hear that will probably call the cops on you so

586
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:48,080
you'll have to deal with that.

587
00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:50,240
But it'll be funny until then right?

588
00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:51,240
Yep.

589
00:40:51,240 --> 00:40:54,560
There we go, that's all.

590
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:57,200
All we want is a ha ha, that's it and we're good.

591
00:40:57,200 --> 00:41:00,560
You give us a ha ha and we're walking away with a big grin right?

592
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:02,840
That's it, that's all.

593
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:06,240
We're just simple men with simple ways people, that's it.

594
00:41:06,240 --> 00:41:07,600
That's it.

595
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:17,080
Next one, can't beat, if I can speak right, can't beat crest for fighting cavities.

596
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:18,560
Do you remember that one?

597
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:20,080
Yes I do.

598
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:21,200
I do too.

599
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:25,880
The old Dennis White hair, can't beat crest for fighting cavities.

600
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:30,840
And this is another one that only certain people, this is kind of like a nostalgic one

601
00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:34,320
that I've done there.

602
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:36,840
Certain amount of people will get it.

603
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:38,560
Certain amount won't.

604
00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:41,760
This next one is nothing but the same.

605
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:43,680
Certain amount of people will get it.

606
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:45,160
Certain amount won't.

607
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:50,480
Star Kiss wants tuna with good taste.

608
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:51,480
You remember that one?

609
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:52,960
Yes I do.

610
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:54,240
Charlie, yeah.

611
00:41:54,240 --> 00:41:56,160
Sorry Charlie.

612
00:41:56,160 --> 00:42:00,920
People don't want tuna with good taste, they want tuna that tastes good.

613
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:03,160
That was it, yep.

614
00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:10,800
Next one, do re mi fa so la.

615
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:16,560
A certain amount of people will answer you and a certain amount will run.

616
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:22,960
This next one is a valid question, it's a valid question, but also something you can

617
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:26,080
whisper in a stranger's ear.

618
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:28,560
Is a pop tart an oversized ravioli?

619
00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:33,840
See, I've always wondered that.

620
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:34,840
Me too.

621
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:40,960
I don't know.

622
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:43,120
It kind of seems like it is.

623
00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:46,680
Yeah, it does.

624
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:47,680
You know what?

625
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:49,840
Douche B66 at yahoo.com.

626
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:53,560
You let me know world, you let me know.

627
00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:55,200
Is it an oversized ravioli?

628
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:56,960
Is it a sandwich?

629
00:42:56,960 --> 00:43:00,000
Or is it simply a delicious pasta?

630
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:04,440
And I mean, if the chef makes it, it's good.

631
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:05,440
Chef Boyardee, right?

632
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:06,440
Yeah, definitely.

633
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:09,440
Yeah, oh yeah, yeah.

634
00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:13,560
Him with his ten chins, awesome cook.

635
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:19,920
You don't want a skinny chef, you want a fat chef because their food is good, right?

636
00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:20,920
Definitely.

637
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:24,080
Alright, next one.

638
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:28,520
Burn the negatives.

639
00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:31,600
And then younger people will go, what's a negative?

640
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:37,400
And older people will be, where's the photo mat?

641
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:45,320
I was just thinking where I put it.

642
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:53,240
The next one, and this was featured in a podcast maybe five ago, Wyoming Doesn't Exist.

643
00:43:53,240 --> 00:43:54,240
So.

644
00:43:54,240 --> 00:43:55,240
Yeah.

645
00:43:55,240 --> 00:43:56,240
Damn conspiracy theorists.

646
00:43:56,240 --> 00:43:57,240
Yep.

647
00:43:57,240 --> 00:44:00,240
Next one, Bon Scott or Brian Johnson?

648
00:44:00,240 --> 00:44:14,600
Again, only a certain amount of people would get that.

649
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:15,600
Bon Scott.

650
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:16,600
Bon Scott, yes.

651
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:18,920
Bon Scott was much better.

652
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:22,640
Much, much better.

653
00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:23,840
Next one.

654
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:28,920
But it wasn't Brian Johnson's fault, but most people didn't even, most people in America

655
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:35,160
didn't even know that Bon Scott, the original singer, died and Brian Johnson took over.

656
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:36,160
Most people thought.

657
00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:39,280
I didn't know for years.

658
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:42,360
You know what, I think maybe I didn't know for a while either.

659
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:44,680
Yeah, yeah, I can believe that.

660
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:46,200
I mean they really didn't hit big.

661
00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:51,880
They just, highway to hell just started getting some traction in America and about the time

662
00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:56,760
to start getting traction in America, Bon Scott already died from alcohol poisoning.

663
00:44:56,760 --> 00:45:01,000
And Brian Johnson already took over in the band.

664
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:03,360
And people just didn't really realize it.

665
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:07,280
I mean I guess they sounded close enough or people just didn't question it.

666
00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:09,120
But Bon Scott was the best to me.

667
00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:10,560
He was a better singer.

668
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:12,920
I liked his snotty-ness.

669
00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:14,360
He played bagpipes.

670
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:15,360
So.

671
00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:16,360
Yeah.

672
00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:17,360
Yeah.

673
00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:22,040
So, I would play bagpipes and hard rock.

674
00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:23,040
Winner.

675
00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:24,040
Definitely.

676
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:25,040
Next one.

677
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:26,040
Sammy or Dave?

678
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:27,040
Dave, of course.

679
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:28,040
Yes.

680
00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:29,040
Yep.

681
00:45:29,040 --> 00:45:30,040
Next one.

682
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:37,040
Meet me later with the bleach and the old towels.

683
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:46,040
Then last but not least, Brian Johnson.

684
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:52,000
Then last but not least, come here often.

685
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:56,120
Alright.

686
00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:57,120
Let's take our next break.

687
00:45:57,120 --> 00:45:59,120
That's a bad pickup line, dude.

688
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:00,120
Yes it is.

689
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:01,120
I know.

690
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:04,120
That's why I put it in there.

691
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:11,160
Anyhow, we're going to take our last break here and we're going to come back with the...

692
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:15,400
I'll let you decide, Rob, here real quick before we leave for a moment.

693
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:22,640
Do you want the McDonald's new menu and the Taco Bell's new menu or do you want where

694
00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:27,160
old superstitions and where they came from like breaking a mirror or black cats crossing

695
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:28,680
your path?

696
00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:30,360
Which one would you rather hear?

697
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:33,600
Let's go superstitions.

698
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:34,600
That sounds good to me.

699
00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:35,600
Alright.

700
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:39,480
We'll be right back with some superstitions, guys.

701
00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:40,480
We'll talk to you in a minute.

702
00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:45,480
The apocalypse just happened.

703
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:50,480
You don't know what to do.

704
00:46:50,480 --> 00:46:55,480
You don't know where to go.

705
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:56,480
But we can tell you what you can eat.

706
00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:57,480
Good news.

707
00:46:57,480 --> 00:47:01,840
If your good old pal, your dog, survives the apocalypse too, broadleaf plantation is a

708
00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:03,560
good answer for both of you.

709
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:06,040
The entire plant is edible from root to tip.

710
00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:17,800
It can be roasted or raw and is safe for canines and humans.

711
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:22,040
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.

712
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:27,040
Man, I sure wish I was the garbage man.

713
00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:29,000
You know what I could do if I was the garbage man?

714
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:34,400
I could go to the wrong parts of town on the wrong days periodically in the morning and

715
00:47:34,400 --> 00:47:38,680
then watch everybody run out of their house in their underwear with two bags of trash

716
00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:40,680
screaming stop, halt.

717
00:47:40,680 --> 00:47:48,000
Yeah, that's what I'd love to do.

718
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:51,400
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

719
00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:54,240
It's strange insults from an alien.

720
00:47:54,240 --> 00:47:55,240
Real hilarity.

721
00:47:55,240 --> 00:48:01,800
May you not be able to gain an erection without thinking about Peter Dinklage.

722
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:05,200
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

723
00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:08,000
It's strange insults from an alien.

724
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:09,000
Real hilarity.

725
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:14,000
You look like you smell like cheese.

726
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:18,400
Oh shit, what's that over there?

727
00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:26,400
Oh no, it's the island of horrible jokes.

728
00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:32,600
It's easy to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods.

729
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:59,400
It's harder to deter gents.

730
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:07,800
And I'm Rob.

731
00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:09,160
All right.

732
00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:14,640
As we know, as we close out the year, there's superstitions that come across our paths every

733
00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:20,600
year and some people are real adamant about it and some people don't really care.

734
00:49:20,600 --> 00:49:25,120
But we have a little list of some of the bigger ones and where they actually originated from.

735
00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:26,120
That sound cool?

736
00:49:26,120 --> 00:49:27,120
Sounds good.

737
00:49:27,120 --> 00:49:29,880
All right.

738
00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:34,520
First off, we've all heard about breaking a mirror is horrible luck, right?

739
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:36,760
And I have a couple of good friends that will attest to that.

740
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:42,080
They broke a mirror and I mean, it was like 20 things happened to them in the next year

741
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:44,480
and they swear up and down it's true.

742
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:48,840
And I know another person that something similar happened after they broke a mirror.

743
00:49:48,840 --> 00:49:54,360
So besides cutting one of their arteries and almost bleeding to death.

744
00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:57,360
So oh yeah, it's bad deal.

745
00:49:57,360 --> 00:50:00,040
That would be a bad year.

746
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:01,760
Oh, it hit him just right.

747
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:05,680
I mean, he almost died from blood loss.

748
00:50:05,680 --> 00:50:07,040
That's how bad it was.

749
00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:12,280
So anyhow, and then he had bad luck after that because the ambulance got into a wreck

750
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:14,840
on the way to the hospital.

751
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:19,600
And then the day he got out, his car got stolen.

752
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:21,760
And just a whole bunch of stuff.

753
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:25,960
This is right after he broke a mirror and artery and all that.

754
00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:28,800
So anyhow, yeah.

755
00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:31,760
And the other people had similar type of stuff happen to them.

756
00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:34,360
You know, not the car and the artery, but stuff like that.

757
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:37,560
And so I know people that swear by breaking a mirror.

758
00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:39,240
They say don't ever do it.

759
00:50:39,240 --> 00:50:42,000
If possible, don't do it because it'll give you bad luck.

760
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:45,760
So anyhow, in case it's not enough to break in a mirror may bring bad luck.

761
00:50:45,760 --> 00:50:50,880
The bad luck is said then to persist for seven whole years.

762
00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:56,440
A long, long time ago, think ancient Egyptians, Romans and Greeks mirrors were valuable and

763
00:50:56,440 --> 00:51:03,080
of course possessed some mystical attributes, according to the psychic library.

764
00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:07,920
In Roman times, it's believed that each person's body would undergo physical regeneration every

765
00:51:07,920 --> 00:51:13,580
seven years because a mirror reflected the soul when one was broken is signified a break

766
00:51:13,580 --> 00:51:16,920
in the person's health and well-being.

767
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:18,600
There is good news though.

768
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:25,160
It is said that if you bury the broken pieces of a mirror underground and under the moonlight,

769
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:28,000
you can avoid the bad luck.

770
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:29,420
So there you go.

771
00:51:29,420 --> 00:51:37,520
So my buddy that had his artery sliced off, all he had to do after the ambulance wreck

772
00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:43,080
and then his car getting stolen when he got home was bury that mirror under a full moon

773
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:47,080
and he was okay, right?

774
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:48,800
Yeah.

775
00:51:48,800 --> 00:51:50,600
Okay.

776
00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:51,600
All right.

777
00:51:51,600 --> 00:51:54,600
That's nice to know back then.

778
00:51:54,600 --> 00:51:55,600
Yeah.

779
00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:56,600
Yeah.

780
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:57,600
Yeah.

781
00:51:57,600 --> 00:51:59,360
Black cats crossing your path.

782
00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:03,600
You may be surprised to know that black cats are actually thought to bring good luck in

783
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:04,600
England.

784
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:05,600
I knew that.

785
00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:06,600
Ireland and ancient Egypt.

786
00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:13,640
Now let's not forget the reason the plague, I think is the bubonic or maybe it was a black

787
00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:18,920
plague, the reason that came about was because they thought that cats were evil and they

788
00:52:18,920 --> 00:52:25,000
killed them all and rats took over and the rats carried the plague and everybody died

789
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:28,400
because they killed all the cats because they were dumb asses that thought the cats were

790
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:30,360
evil.

791
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:32,880
So keep that in mind when I read this.

792
00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:33,880
Okay.

793
00:52:33,880 --> 00:52:36,720
So much so that cats were well protected from death and injury.

794
00:52:36,720 --> 00:52:43,440
That was a holdover because after that they worship cats, but that doesn't answer the

795
00:52:43,440 --> 00:52:47,280
question of why we believe black cats bring bad luck.

796
00:52:47,280 --> 00:52:53,280
Other parts of Europe during the middle ages thought that cats as companions of witches

797
00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:55,440
or even witches in disguise.

798
00:52:55,440 --> 00:52:59,640
When a black cat would cross your path, it meant the devil was watching you.

799
00:52:59,640 --> 00:53:04,440
Apparently the pilgrims brought the notion to America and the association between witches

800
00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:07,120
and black cats continues to this day.

801
00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:11,800
So now you know the mindset when they killed all these cats and then they all died subsequently

802
00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:16,600
from the black plague because the cats were killing enough of the rats to keep the black

803
00:53:16,600 --> 00:53:19,720
plague away from people.

804
00:53:19,720 --> 00:53:21,720
See where I'm going with that now?

805
00:53:21,720 --> 00:53:24,400
Yeah, yeah, I see where, yeah.

806
00:53:24,400 --> 00:53:29,280
Yeah, because of their stupid superstitions, they all died.

807
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:32,960
So anyhow, all right.

808
00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:34,920
The number 13.

809
00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:42,480
The superstition is so legit that the term trisectophobia was coined to those who have

810
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:44,800
a fear of the number 13.

811
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:50,780
In short, history.com says Western cultures have long associated the number 12 with good

812
00:53:50,780 --> 00:53:52,320
incompleteness.

813
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:59,480
The 12 days of Christmas, 12 months, 12 zodiac signs, 12 tribes of Israel and 12 labors of

814
00:53:59,480 --> 00:54:01,920
Hercules to name a few.

815
00:54:01,920 --> 00:54:05,620
It is often in ancient world been considered a perfect number.

816
00:54:05,620 --> 00:54:11,400
So its successor 13 has gotten a bad rap as a sign of bad luck.

817
00:54:11,400 --> 00:54:18,080
To build on that, there are two events that play into the theory at 13 is an unlucky number.

818
00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:22,000
Each of those revolve around a 13th guest at ancient events.

819
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:30,120
Judas who betrayed Jesus at the last supper and Loki, a Norse god known for being mischievous

820
00:54:30,120 --> 00:54:36,800
at a dinner party in which there was already a perfect balance of 12 gods in attendance.

821
00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:38,680
I actually knew that one.

822
00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:39,680
Yeah.

823
00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:40,680
Yeah.

824
00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:41,680
You did too, didn't you?

825
00:54:41,680 --> 00:54:43,680
Yeah, I've heard it before.

826
00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:46,200
Yeah, that one's pretty well known.

827
00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:51,800
So this one I did not know because this one I really found interesting.

828
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:52,800
Walking under a ladder.

829
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:53,800
I've always heard that, right?

830
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:54,800
Yeah.

831
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:55,800
Okay.

832
00:54:55,800 --> 00:54:59,160
I've only had to do it many a time.

833
00:54:59,160 --> 00:55:02,480
Oh, I did it today.

834
00:55:02,480 --> 00:55:04,360
It's just the way that my work's designed.

835
00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:05,360
I had to.

836
00:55:05,360 --> 00:55:06,360
Yeah.

837
00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:07,360
Yeah.

838
00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:12,520
So anyhow, as one of the more commonly known superstitions, there seems to be various theories

839
00:55:12,520 --> 00:55:14,800
on where this one came from.

840
00:55:14,800 --> 00:55:19,720
In medieval times, ladders were often associated with gallows, which is where people face death

841
00:55:19,720 --> 00:55:20,720
by hanging.

842
00:55:20,720 --> 00:55:21,720
Okay.

843
00:55:21,720 --> 00:55:22,720
Yeah.

844
00:55:22,720 --> 00:55:27,120
If someone, you already know where this is going, don't you?

845
00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:29,640
If someone walked under a ladder- I'm reading into it.

846
00:55:29,640 --> 00:55:30,640
Okay.

847
00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:31,760
I think you probably do.

848
00:55:31,760 --> 00:55:36,240
If someone walked under ladders, believe that person would eventually face their death by

849
00:55:36,240 --> 00:55:37,240
hanging.

850
00:55:37,240 --> 00:55:43,400
A different theory is that because people were hung at the top of rungs of the ladder,

851
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:47,680
their spirit would reside in the triangle the ladder created as it leaned against the

852
00:55:47,680 --> 00:55:49,840
gallows by walking under it.

853
00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:53,920
Some assumed a dead body could fall on them, cause an injury or death.

854
00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:59,560
And yet another theory suggests that the triangle created by leaning a ladder up against a wall

855
00:55:59,560 --> 00:56:02,400
signified the Holy Trinity.

856
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:07,840
The spirit of the father, the son of the Holy Ghost, because walking was considered a desecration

857
00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:13,240
of God, it would in turn invite the devil in, bringing bad luck.

858
00:56:13,240 --> 00:56:17,920
So it was what you thought plus a little bit more, wasn't it?

859
00:56:17,920 --> 00:56:18,920
Yes.

860
00:56:18,920 --> 00:56:19,920
Yes.

861
00:56:19,920 --> 00:56:20,920
Yeah.

862
00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:23,080
And I can actually see both of them.

863
00:56:23,080 --> 00:56:24,080
I can too.

864
00:56:24,080 --> 00:56:27,840
I knew the first part and I know you did too, cause I could tell by the way you're talking.

865
00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:28,840
Yeah.

866
00:56:28,840 --> 00:56:31,560
But the second part I didn't know.

867
00:56:31,560 --> 00:56:32,560
I found that-

868
00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:33,560
That makes sense though.

869
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:34,560
It does.

870
00:56:34,560 --> 00:56:35,560
That makes sense though.

871
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:41,040
And actually out of all the superstitions, I find that one the most legitimate.

872
00:56:41,040 --> 00:56:44,360
I mean if you believe in stuff like that.

873
00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:48,000
So alright, spilling salt.

874
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:53,240
This may have started more as bad form than bad luck.

875
00:56:53,240 --> 00:56:58,320
Salt was quite the expensive commodity in ancient times, so wasting it was frowned upon.

876
00:56:58,320 --> 00:57:04,240
It's believed that bad luck was brought about as a way to keep people from wasting it.

877
00:57:04,240 --> 00:57:08,840
Okay, but what about the whole throwing it over your left shoulder business?

878
00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:13,040
Some believe the devil hangs out over your left side of your body, waiting for an opportunity

879
00:57:13,040 --> 00:57:14,160
to pounce.

880
00:57:14,160 --> 00:57:20,000
So throwing salt over that shoulder puts it right in his face, stopping him from attacking.

881
00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:24,320
For those familiar with the Bible, another origin of the superstition comes from the

882
00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:31,280
famous Last Supper painting, which shows Judas again, remember the guy who betrayed Jesus?

883
00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:34,560
Having knocked over salt.

884
00:57:34,560 --> 00:57:38,400
Spilling it all over the table.

885
00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:39,680
I never noticed that.

886
00:57:39,680 --> 00:57:44,080
I never did either, but I guarantee you I'm gonna look at a picture of it now and see.

887
00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:49,040
Yeah, I never noticed that.

888
00:57:49,040 --> 00:57:54,680
Well like Topher always said, and actually it's a great point, Judas was doing what God

889
00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:57,680
wanted him to, right?

890
00:57:57,680 --> 00:57:59,960
Exactly, exactly.

891
00:57:59,960 --> 00:58:00,960
So anyhow.

892
00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:05,800
He did what he was supposed to do.

893
00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:06,800
The betrayer.

894
00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:07,800
So anyhow.

895
00:58:07,800 --> 00:58:09,280
But it's just funny.

896
00:58:09,280 --> 00:58:12,960
Christopher says it better than I do, but anyhow.

897
00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:15,280
Okay next one, knocking on wood.

898
00:58:15,280 --> 00:58:17,240
You ever wonder where that came from?

899
00:58:17,240 --> 00:58:19,240
Yes, I know.

900
00:58:19,240 --> 00:58:21,240
Me too.

901
00:58:21,240 --> 00:58:25,680
Surely we've all knocked on wood to ward off bad luck from something we've said, right?

902
00:58:25,680 --> 00:58:31,760
Well to me knocking on wood ensured that whatever you said was going to work out.

903
00:58:31,760 --> 00:58:34,680
Like hey, did you finally get your car fixed?

904
00:58:34,680 --> 00:58:36,200
Yeah, I did.

905
00:58:36,200 --> 00:58:38,360
Oh, let me go knock on wood, right?

906
00:58:38,360 --> 00:58:41,600
This is slightly different than that.

907
00:58:41,600 --> 00:58:48,520
Okay so the one may date back to ancient pagan times when people believed spirits lived in

908
00:58:48,520 --> 00:58:53,840
trees and touching or knocking on the tree would protect them from bad luck.

909
00:58:53,840 --> 00:58:58,480
Psychic library says knocking on the wood was also seen as thank you gesture to the

910
00:58:58,480 --> 00:59:02,280
gods for bringing blessings and good luck.

911
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:08,720
In Irish folklore, touching trees was a very thanking leprechauns for good luck.

912
00:59:08,720 --> 00:59:13,320
It was a way of thanking the leprechauns for good luck.

913
00:59:13,320 --> 00:59:17,000
Next and last, saying God bless to a sneeze.

914
00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:18,000
Now that happens all the time.

915
00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:20,200
I do it all the time, but I'm not sure where it came from.

916
00:59:20,200 --> 00:59:21,680
Yeah, I do it too.

917
00:59:21,680 --> 00:59:24,280
Yeah I hear someone sneeze.

918
00:59:24,280 --> 00:59:25,360
God bless you.

919
00:59:25,360 --> 00:59:27,480
So anyhow.

920
00:59:27,480 --> 00:59:32,160
So apparently this wasn't something that came about for the sake of being polite.

921
00:59:32,160 --> 00:59:37,000
Even though many cultures have believed for thousands of years that sneezes expelled evil

922
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:42,480
spirits, it is said that the 6th century AD a fatal plague was spreading through Italy

923
00:59:42,480 --> 00:59:47,280
after severe chronic sneezing death often quickly followed.

924
00:59:47,280 --> 00:59:52,560
Live science says the pope urged the healthy to pray for the sick in order to light heart

925
00:59:52,560 --> 00:59:58,240
a response which eventually led to God bless you when someone sneezed.

926
00:59:58,240 --> 01:00:03,040
There are dozens of other superstitions people follow and many theories as to where they

927
01:00:03,040 --> 01:00:08,920
originated as some of them might be silly, yeah, but it's been sticking around for all

928
01:00:08,920 --> 01:00:12,960
these years and it's probably going to be around another thousand, more thousands of

929
01:00:12,960 --> 01:00:13,960
years.

930
01:00:13,960 --> 01:00:19,520
You know, the thing is they might adapt and change with the times, but the overall theory

931
01:00:19,520 --> 01:00:22,240
is probably going to be the same on them, right?

932
01:00:22,240 --> 01:00:23,240
You know?

933
01:00:23,240 --> 01:00:24,240
Yeah.

934
01:00:24,240 --> 01:00:25,240
Somewhere around there.

935
01:00:25,240 --> 01:00:29,520
So Rob, do you have anything to go into or am I going to read off of?

936
01:00:29,520 --> 01:00:31,520
Yeah, yeah I got it.

937
01:00:31,520 --> 01:00:34,400
Quick little list here.

938
01:00:34,400 --> 01:00:36,400
Sounds good to me Rob, the floor is yours.

939
01:00:36,400 --> 01:00:40,160
And I ran across this on 100.9 the eagle.

940
01:00:40,160 --> 01:00:41,840
Oh them again.

941
01:00:41,840 --> 01:00:43,840
You got some pretty go to websites.

942
01:00:43,840 --> 01:00:47,080
Yeah Rob, the music station.

943
01:00:47,080 --> 01:00:49,200
That Sioux Falls, South Dakota one?

944
01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:50,200
That ESPM one?

945
01:00:50,200 --> 01:00:55,080
Yeah, I'm not sure where 100.9 the eagle is now though.

946
01:00:55,080 --> 01:00:56,080
I'm not sure either.

947
01:00:56,080 --> 01:00:58,080
Then you had the one from Sedalia?

948
01:00:58,080 --> 01:00:59,080
Yeah, yeah.

949
01:00:59,080 --> 01:01:00,080
Kissy?

950
01:01:00,080 --> 01:01:01,760
Yeah, yeah.

951
01:01:01,760 --> 01:01:03,760
K-I-S-I or something like that.

952
01:01:03,760 --> 01:01:04,760
Kissy, 1050?

953
01:01:04,760 --> 01:01:05,760
K-S-I-S.

954
01:01:05,760 --> 01:01:06,760
K-S-I-S, k-i-s-s-s.

955
01:01:06,760 --> 01:01:09,760
I believe it's 1050 or something like that.

956
01:01:09,760 --> 01:01:10,760
1050 a.m. I thought.

957
01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:11,760
Okay, anyhow, go ahead.

958
01:01:11,760 --> 01:01:12,760
Something like that.

959
01:01:12,760 --> 01:01:24,000
Yeah, these are five ways to have a spectacular midlife crisis in Missouri.

960
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:31,320
Which actually as you go through them, it doesn't even have to be Missouri.

961
01:01:31,320 --> 01:01:32,320
It could be any place.

962
01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:33,320
I mean, you know.

963
01:01:33,320 --> 01:01:34,320
Well go for it.

964
01:01:34,320 --> 01:01:37,160
Well I checked my new beer fridge.

965
01:01:37,160 --> 01:01:38,160
Hang on.

966
01:01:38,160 --> 01:01:40,360
Go ahead Rob, I'm going to check and make sure it's working.

967
01:01:40,360 --> 01:01:44,400
Oh yeah, the aliens getting cold.

968
01:01:44,400 --> 01:01:47,600
Go ahead, sorry.

969
01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:49,600
Good deal.

970
01:01:49,600 --> 01:01:57,880
Before I begin my midlife crisis, let's define exactly what it is.

971
01:01:57,880 --> 01:02:04,960
It takes place approximately between the ages of 40 and 60, give or take a few years.

972
01:02:04,960 --> 01:02:06,960
All the way to 60?

973
01:02:06,960 --> 01:02:07,960
Wow.

974
01:02:07,960 --> 01:02:08,960
Yeah.

975
01:02:08,960 --> 01:02:09,960
Okay.

976
01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:16,160
One common belief about this stage of life is that you should expect to face inner turmoil

977
01:02:16,160 --> 01:02:20,040
about your identity, life choices and mortality.

978
01:02:20,040 --> 01:02:22,440
Sounds about right.

979
01:02:22,440 --> 01:02:23,440
Yeah.

980
01:02:23,440 --> 01:02:34,160
But here are ways that you can just forget all about it.

981
01:02:34,160 --> 01:02:35,160
Being a younger chick.

982
01:02:35,160 --> 01:02:36,160
No.

983
01:02:36,160 --> 01:02:39,160
No, that didn't make the list.

984
01:02:39,160 --> 01:02:40,160
Oh it didn't?

985
01:02:40,160 --> 01:02:41,160
Okay.

986
01:02:41,160 --> 01:02:42,160
Silly me.

987
01:02:42,160 --> 01:02:45,840
Go on a float trip.

988
01:02:45,840 --> 01:02:47,600
I like that idea a lot.

989
01:02:47,600 --> 01:02:53,440
If you're going to have a crisis, it's best done in a canoe or a kayak.

990
01:02:53,440 --> 01:02:58,960
And Missouri is one of the best states to go floating.

991
01:02:58,960 --> 01:02:59,960
Would agree.

992
01:02:59,960 --> 01:03:04,280
And where else could you reenact the worst scenes of deliverance?

993
01:03:04,280 --> 01:03:11,760
If you're banjos, everybody knows, if you're banjos, get the fuck out of there.

994
01:03:11,760 --> 01:03:12,760
They know the rules.

995
01:03:12,760 --> 01:03:16,120
If you're going around a Missouri, Arkansas border, that's great floating down there.

996
01:03:16,120 --> 01:03:17,120
Don't get me wrong.

997
01:03:17,120 --> 01:03:20,840
If you drop your beer, you don't bend over to get it.

998
01:03:20,840 --> 01:03:21,840
You just grab your knife.

999
01:03:21,840 --> 01:03:22,840
No, you do not.

1000
01:03:22,840 --> 01:03:23,840
You just keep floating along.

1001
01:03:23,840 --> 01:03:27,600
If you know the rules, you're fine.

1002
01:03:27,600 --> 01:03:30,480
And that snake, go ahead and assume it's a cotton mouth.

1003
01:03:30,480 --> 01:03:31,480
Don't get near it.

1004
01:03:31,480 --> 01:03:32,480
Yeah, exactly.

1005
01:03:32,480 --> 01:03:33,480
Yes.

1006
01:03:33,480 --> 01:03:34,480
Okay.

1007
01:03:34,480 --> 01:03:42,480
Drive an expensive muscle car down the Ozark Scenic Byway.

1008
01:03:42,480 --> 01:03:49,040
That's where I was saying you could go be anywhere and do this.

1009
01:03:49,040 --> 01:03:51,720
Just play your muscle car and just drive it.

1010
01:03:51,720 --> 01:03:52,720
I actually...

1011
01:03:52,720 --> 01:03:54,720
It'll make you feel better.

1012
01:03:54,720 --> 01:03:55,720
Yeah.

1013
01:03:55,720 --> 01:03:56,720
Yeah.

1014
01:03:56,720 --> 01:04:00,560
My Mustang convertible before I hit the deer, I did that.

1015
01:04:00,560 --> 01:04:03,720
And this is back before Branson was really anything at all.

1016
01:04:03,720 --> 01:04:05,720
It was a long time ago.

1017
01:04:05,720 --> 01:04:08,200
Anyhow, it was the 80s.

1018
01:04:08,200 --> 01:04:12,600
And the Ozark Scenic Byway there was completely different.

1019
01:04:12,600 --> 01:04:13,600
Yeah.

1020
01:04:13,600 --> 01:04:15,920
You go there and it's like all businesses.

1021
01:04:15,920 --> 01:04:17,360
But anyhow, I see that.

1022
01:04:17,360 --> 01:04:20,920
Man, it's a breathtaking view and it's a fun road to be on.

1023
01:04:20,920 --> 01:04:21,920
So, yep.

1024
01:04:21,920 --> 01:04:24,920
Yes, it really is.

1025
01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:32,120
Or you can buy a condo next to Lake of the Ozarks.

1026
01:04:32,120 --> 01:04:33,120
Yeah.

1027
01:04:33,120 --> 01:04:36,120
Why don't you buy me?

1028
01:04:36,120 --> 01:04:37,120
Yep.

1029
01:04:37,120 --> 01:04:38,120
Yep.

1030
01:04:38,120 --> 01:04:39,120
Okay.

1031
01:04:39,120 --> 01:04:40,120
And what was the name of that car?

1032
01:04:40,120 --> 01:04:41,120
Mallmarker 142 maybe?

1033
01:04:41,120 --> 01:04:42,120
Okay.

1034
01:04:42,120 --> 01:04:45,120
Well, for quite a few years, I lived at Mallmarker 31.

1035
01:04:45,120 --> 01:04:46,120
That far up?

1036
01:04:46,120 --> 01:04:47,120
Wow.

1037
01:04:47,120 --> 01:04:48,120
Okay.

1038
01:04:48,120 --> 01:04:49,120
Yeah.

1039
01:04:49,120 --> 01:04:54,120
That was where I lived, over in Link Creek.

1040
01:04:54,120 --> 01:04:57,120
Oh, okay.

1041
01:04:57,120 --> 01:05:06,120
Between San Martin and Osage Beach.

1042
01:05:06,120 --> 01:05:09,120
Okay.

1043
01:05:09,120 --> 01:05:10,120
Okay.

1044
01:05:10,120 --> 01:05:11,120
Can you do that?

1045
01:05:11,120 --> 01:05:12,120
Or is it probably illegal?

1046
01:05:12,120 --> 01:05:13,120
Let me read this.

1047
01:05:13,120 --> 01:05:14,120
Okay.

1048
01:05:14,120 --> 01:05:15,120
There's no more Thumbel and Louise Way to signal that you're having a midlife crisis

1049
01:05:15,120 --> 01:05:16,120
in Missouri than this.

1050
01:05:16,120 --> 01:05:21,120
The fact that it's highly illegal and dangerous means you should never even think about it.

1051
01:05:21,120 --> 01:05:24,120
The National Park Service is not going to be able to do that.

1052
01:05:24,120 --> 01:05:37,120
Seriously, don't do this.

1053
01:05:37,120 --> 01:05:40,120
It's a joke.

1054
01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:43,120
That means people will do it.

1055
01:05:43,120 --> 01:05:44,120
Go ahead.

1056
01:05:44,120 --> 01:05:47,120
I could see some people doing it, yes.

1057
01:05:47,120 --> 01:05:50,120
I could do.

1058
01:05:50,120 --> 01:05:54,120
And the last one.

1059
01:05:54,120 --> 01:05:55,120
Yep.

1060
01:05:55,120 --> 01:06:01,120
Move to California and try to make it more like Missouri.

1061
01:06:01,120 --> 01:06:09,120
People are always complaining about California people fleeing the state.

1062
01:06:09,120 --> 01:06:10,120
They need Satan people to murder.

1063
01:06:10,120 --> 01:06:13,120
And trying to make our state more like theirs.

1064
01:06:13,120 --> 01:06:14,120
Yeah.

1065
01:06:14,120 --> 01:06:23,120
So let's move to the Golden State and start asking them where the cow pie throwing events

1066
01:06:23,120 --> 01:06:24,120
are.

1067
01:06:24,120 --> 01:06:27,120
And spitting and spitting spoons in public is also illegal.

1068
01:06:27,120 --> 01:06:29,120
In the Grease Pig Contest.

1069
01:06:29,120 --> 01:06:30,120
Yeah.

1070
01:06:30,120 --> 01:06:33,120
They still do that at the State Fair.

1071
01:06:33,120 --> 01:06:34,120
Did you know that?

1072
01:06:34,120 --> 01:06:35,120
Yeah.

1073
01:06:35,120 --> 01:06:36,120
Yeah, they do.

1074
01:06:36,120 --> 01:06:38,120
Oh, it's fun to watch too.

1075
01:06:38,120 --> 01:06:39,120
Oh, it's fun.

1076
01:06:39,120 --> 01:06:40,120
Hello.

1077
01:06:40,120 --> 01:06:41,120
Very cool, Rob.

1078
01:06:41,120 --> 01:06:46,120
That's a great way to close out this program and close out this year.

1079
01:06:46,120 --> 01:06:51,120
Everybody, have a fantastic 2024 coming up.

1080
01:06:51,120 --> 01:06:55,120
I know I have a lot of rants in this, but you know what?

1081
01:06:55,120 --> 01:06:57,120
I mean, I get irritated.

1082
01:06:57,120 --> 01:06:59,120
I say what I feel.

1083
01:06:59,120 --> 01:07:02,120
I get it out in the open and I mean no harm.

1084
01:07:02,120 --> 01:07:04,120
I think refs are idiots.

1085
01:07:04,120 --> 01:07:06,120
I think Bengals fans are assholes.

1086
01:07:06,120 --> 01:07:10,120
Not all of them, but enough of them to irritate me.

1087
01:07:10,120 --> 01:07:15,120
But above all, love every one of you guys, for real.

1088
01:07:15,120 --> 01:07:17,120
Have a great year coming up.

1089
01:07:17,120 --> 01:07:18,120
Happy.

1090
01:07:18,120 --> 01:07:19,120
Go ahead, what?

1091
01:07:19,120 --> 01:07:21,120
Oh, go ahead, go ahead.

1092
01:07:21,120 --> 01:07:29,120
Oh, everybody, I wish you peace, love, tranquility, success, and above all, health in this coming year.

1093
01:07:29,120 --> 01:07:39,120
And I pray that we all get along better and love to learn to love each other and to learn to love ourselves.

1094
01:07:39,120 --> 01:07:45,120
The world would not be such a bad place if everybody was on board with these principles.

1095
01:07:45,120 --> 01:07:47,120
We love every one of you.

1096
01:07:47,120 --> 01:07:49,120
Have a fantastic New Year's Eve.

1097
01:07:49,120 --> 01:07:53,120
And we'll see you in 2024 and we got great things coming.

1098
01:07:53,120 --> 01:07:56,120
Our best days are ahead of us, not behind us.

1099
01:07:56,120 --> 01:08:00,120
Remember that.

1100
01:08:00,120 --> 01:08:03,120
Oh, and one last thing real quick.

1101
01:08:03,120 --> 01:08:04,120
Yes.

1102
01:08:04,120 --> 01:08:12,120
Something that you told me, but we have not announced it on the air, and this is our last chance this year.

1103
01:08:12,120 --> 01:08:16,120
Jason Kelsey won the Harry S. O3.

1104
01:08:16,120 --> 01:08:17,120
Oh, yeah, thank you.

1105
01:08:17,120 --> 01:08:18,120
Thank you.

1106
01:08:18,120 --> 01:08:25,120
Yeah, he is going to be the 2023 winner, and soon we're going to have the 2024 candidates coming up.

1107
01:08:25,120 --> 01:08:27,120
And we have certain rules here.

1108
01:08:27,120 --> 01:08:30,120
We can bring back old contestants if we feel strong enough about it.

1109
01:08:30,120 --> 01:08:39,120
So I'm telling everybody right now, the Duluth Trading Company guy is coming back because I'm not willing to let him go.

1110
01:08:39,120 --> 01:08:41,120
I love that guy.

1111
01:08:41,120 --> 01:08:42,120
I do, too.

1112
01:08:42,120 --> 01:08:43,120
Yeah.

1113
01:08:43,120 --> 01:08:44,120
And I have.

1114
01:08:44,120 --> 01:08:45,120
Oh, go ahead.

1115
01:08:45,120 --> 01:08:48,120
Don't forget, waiting in the Helms.

1116
01:08:48,120 --> 01:08:53,120
The winner of our first one, Dave Mustang, and the winner of our second one, Rob Zombie.

1117
01:08:53,120 --> 01:08:57,120
Yes, but don't look at a recent picture of Dave Mustang.

1118
01:08:57,120 --> 01:09:00,120
You know, he had throat cancer, right?

1119
01:09:00,120 --> 01:09:02,120
And he went through a lot of radiation.

1120
01:09:02,120 --> 01:09:04,120
We're going off old pictures.

1121
01:09:04,120 --> 01:09:08,120
We're going off old pictures because I didn't recognize him.

1122
01:09:08,120 --> 01:09:11,120
He started talking about wanting to put out like nine new albums and stuff.

1123
01:09:11,120 --> 01:09:17,120
I'm like, dude, you look, I mean, I love the guy, and I don't want anything bad to happen to him, but he looked like death.

1124
01:09:17,120 --> 01:09:19,120
I mean, he looked bad.

1125
01:09:19,120 --> 01:09:24,120
So anyhow, we're going by the Dave Mustang we all remember in the 80s.

1126
01:09:24,120 --> 01:09:27,120
So anyhow, thank you guys.

1127
01:09:27,120 --> 01:09:28,120
Thank you for listening.

1128
01:09:28,120 --> 01:09:30,120
We do love each and every one of you.

1129
01:09:30,120 --> 01:09:36,120
And Ruth Ann, it's too bad you're not listening anymore because I love you especially.

1130
01:09:36,120 --> 01:09:38,120
Yes, I do, too.

1131
01:09:38,120 --> 01:09:40,120
She's still listening.

1132
01:09:40,120 --> 01:09:42,120
She has said that.

1133
01:09:42,120 --> 01:09:43,120
Thank you.

1134
01:09:43,120 --> 01:09:44,120
Good night.

1135
01:09:44,120 --> 01:09:59,120
Happy New Year, everybody.

1136
01:09:59,120 --> 01:10:01,120
Hey, where do they go?

1137
01:10:01,120 --> 01:10:03,120
Where are the douchebags?

1138
01:10:03,120 --> 01:10:05,120
Oh, my God.

1139
01:10:05,120 --> 01:10:07,120
Someone took a dump in the corner.

1140
01:10:07,120 --> 01:10:09,120
Oh, geez.

1141
01:10:09,120 --> 01:10:10,120
Glad they're gone.

1142
01:10:10,120 --> 01:10:13,120
Let's just hope they don't come back.

1143
01:10:13,120 --> 01:10:15,120
Smells.