1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Live from the historic river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the crystal blue waters of the Missouri River, it's Two Douchebags and a Microphone Podcast. 2 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:22,000 And now it's time for the Daily Douchebag Pledge. 3 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:29,000 Two Douchebags and a Microphone Pledge, I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to download every show. 4 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:36,000 I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to grab family members phones and download the show from there. 5 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:43,000 I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to go to public computers and download the show from there. 6 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:49,000 I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to laugh at all the unfunny jokes. 7 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:56,000 I, Joe, or Jane listener, hereby promise to lie to all my friends and tell them how good the show is. 8 00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:08,000 And finally, I, Joe, or Jane listener, promise to visit Montrose, Missouri to take advantage of the power plant, campgrounds, and junkyard all within its quarter mile radius. 9 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:21,000 The apocalypse just happened. You don't know what to do. You don't know where to go. But we can tell you what you can eat. 10 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:36,000 Wild asparagus is plentiful and easy to find. It can be stewed with garlic and onion, which is both wild, which can be easily found in a very tasty post-apocalypse food. 11 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:45,000 You can make this into a delicious stew, and this will hold you over at least for a couple of days until you can find some other food. 12 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:54,000 And now, for the brand new feature, strange insults from an alien. 13 00:01:54,000 --> 00:02:05,000 May you always step in a wet spot after putting on fresh socks. 14 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:16,000 Hello everybody. This is Two Deuce Bags and Microphone, and I'm Mark. 15 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,000 And I'm Mark. 16 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:29,000 Welcome everybody. Anyhow, let's see, New Year's is coming up, Rob. You got anything big planned? New Year's Eve is tomorrow. 17 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,000 Nope. 18 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,000 Me neither. That's why I like it anymore. 19 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:39,000 Alright, yeah. If you want to do a show tomorrow night, let's do it, bro. 20 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,000 Okay, let's do a show tomorrow night. Hell yeah. 21 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,000 Sounds good to me. 22 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:50,000 I got a neat little story here. I found this pretty interesting. I think you'll like it too, Rob. 23 00:02:51,000 --> 00:03:05,000 Okay, a Sephora customer. You know Sephora is cosmetics and some types of jewelry and stuff. It's fairly upper class, and it's in Macy's and Joan's Store. Is there a Joan's Store anymore? 24 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:12,000 It might even be in JCPenney's, too. I don't know. It might be in Cole's. But you know what I'm talking about, right, Sephora? 25 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,000 Yeah, yeah. Very good, very good. 26 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:19,000 Okay, a Sephora customer claims that its body butter attracts spiders. 27 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:25,000 A Sephora customer has untangled a web of mystery and controversy. 28 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:33,000 A review on Sephora's site for a Sol de Janeiro body butter set to Internet Wild. 29 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:42,000 Warning folks who are scared of spiders not to butter their bodies, claiming that the product is a magnet for the eight-legged creatures. 30 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:55,000 The customer claims the bugs have appeared every day since using the lotion, adding, one time, the spider wanted to eat whatever ingredient that's in the butter so bad that it chased me. 31 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,000 I left everything and ran. 32 00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:09,000 Reddit, as one could imagine, is all ablaze with these new claims. So leave it to Reddit for someone to sniffing out this one problem out. 33 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:21,000 Evidently, a combination of ferrocyl acetate and hexadal acetate often attracts male spiders. More research is being done. 34 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:30,000 I say if you're an evil bastard like Rob and I, there might be a very good prank in this for someone you know who is deathly afraid of arachnoids. 35 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,000 Does that sound like something we'd do? 36 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:37,000 Uh, dude, I think we'd talk arachnoids. 37 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,000 Me too. 38 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,000 Say, hey, try this new body butter. It's great shit, man. 39 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,000 Yeah. 40 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:47,000 Makes you look young and all this cool shit and everything. 41 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:50,000 Next thing you know, they're running out of their house screaming. 42 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:55,000 I can think of one ex-girlfriend in particular. 43 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:59,000 Yeah, I got a few on that list too. 44 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:05,000 Let's see, I don't know if I quite believe the claims though. 45 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:26,000 Because, would you think that one ingredient that you put on your body would make a spider could smell that and signify that out of all these other chemicals that are on you enough to chase you? 46 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,000 Hmm. 47 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,000 I don't know. 48 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:39,000 I'll tell you what, I'm going to do further investigating on this and I'm going to look around on the internet and see what I can find out. 49 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:46,000 I don't know, to me it just sounds kind of unrealistic maybe. 50 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:51,000 Maybe that's just me. Maybe I'm kind of suspicious when I shouldn't be. I don't know. 51 00:05:51,000 --> 00:06:02,000 So, anyhow, last week you were talking about someone getting swatted, right? There was a female representative of some sort? 52 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:07,000 Yeah, yeah. There was a male representative too. 53 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,000 Oh, okay. 54 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:13,000 He gave them treats and stuff. They called him beforehand. 55 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:28,000 I got one for you. Florida Senator, former Governor of Florida and Florida Senator now, Rick Scott's home in Naples was swatted Wednesday night according to Naples Police Spokesperson, Lieutenant Brian McQuinn. 56 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,000 Yeah, I think that's the one. 57 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:43,000 Oh, is it? Okay. Evidently this is a thing to swat representatives and senators. So, Scott posted on ex-formerly known as Twitter Thursday morning stating, 58 00:06:43,000 --> 00:07:07,000 Last night while at dinner with my wife, cowards swatted my home in Naples. These criminals wasted the time and resources of our law enforcement in a sick attempt to terrorize my family. Swatting is a prank call made to authorities that, you know, we went into that, you know, and we're talking about the very famous case in Wichita, which actually brought swatting to the forefront. 59 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:21,000 Because I think that it helped it gain popularity. Because that was a big story in the news for a long time. And I believe that the guy was deaf and somewhat mentally disabled. 60 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:38,000 And the guy was, they were gamers and I guess the guy in Wichita, the gamer was like kind of ha-ha and ripping the one in California. The guy in California took it personally, swatted the kid in Wichita. 61 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:52,000 And the kid in Wichita did not understand what was going on or the severity of it and he was shot and killed. And so the guy in California, the gamer, was held responsible with manslaughter charges. 62 00:07:52,000 --> 00:08:12,000 And I, you know, I mean, I think I kind of see their point. Yeah, I do. Yeah. So anyhow, it seems like ever since then, since it was brought to the forefront, that swatting is now like more of a, more of a thing. 63 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:25,000 It used to be kind of underground, you know, I've heard of swatting and I kind of understood what it was, but it didn't really come to the forefront until that famous case maybe 10, 15 years ago happened. Do you think so? That's what I think happened. 64 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:36,000 Yeah. Yeah. So anyhow, interesting stuff. Anyhow, Rob, you got something you want to go into? 65 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:54,000 Oh yeah. First off, I have to say this. Okay. This is Saturday night, December 30th. Ruthann in central Ohio, I am sorry for what's about to happen. 66 00:08:55,000 --> 00:09:03,000 Either way, win or lose, I'm sorry. I'll try to hold him back as much as I can. 67 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:19,000 I listened to that podcast actually today on the way home. Dude, I was rolling. I was rolling. I'm sorry Ruthann, I have been badgering you. I'm sorry. And the only thing is, is I still contend, now's the time to pile on. 68 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:31,000 I mean, the chips are down, they're not looking very good. And I know you said that you don't like to pile on people and make fun of them. I'm sorry. That's what NFL fans do, right? 69 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:34,000 This is your shot we're taking. 70 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:47,000 I've been taking a lifetime full of shit from these Raider fans over that game, that debacle that happened Christmas Day. So, you know, I mean, look, it's all in fun and games. 71 00:09:47,000 --> 00:10:02,000 And I didn't know that you took ridicule like that personally, because most NFL fans have a tough barrier. You know, they're like, you know, okay, I was giving enough shit out. Now I'm going to get it back because oh shit, my team suddenly lost or whatever. 72 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:18,000 You know, and I really expected that. But I have been badgering you Ruthann from North Central Ohio. So, except my apologies to and Rob, thank you for pointing that out and defending her. But it was funny. It was funny. 73 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:32,000 It was like Monday night and oh yeah. Because you caught that real quick. You're like, I got nothing to do with this. It was kind of like Mike Toreyko on Collins work when he called all the back of quarterbacks fat. 74 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:49,000 And Collins work and Toreyko's like, that's Collins work. So you know where to direct the hate mail to. But anyhow, Rob, go ahead. You were going to something there and anyhow, we got sidetracked like always. 75 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:53,000 Yeah, I had to get that out. It opened beforehand. 76 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,000 Okay, anyhow. 77 00:10:56,000 --> 00:11:08,000 Okay, sorry. I go was that it? Because you said I anyhow forget it. It just sounded like it wasn't. Okay. Go for it. 78 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:25,000 Before the woman filed a $5 billion federal class asking lawsuit against the whole she chocolate company claiming that it these are Reese's treats were deceptively marketed because they didn't have faces. 79 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:43,000 According to a lawsuit filed in the Middle District Court of Florida on Wednesday, Cynthia Kelly sued the Hershey's company because it's jack-o-lantern treats were advertised with mouth and eyedrops on the packaging, but didn't have any on the actual chocolates. 80 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:51,000 I can throw this story away now. I got it too. I thought that was so stupid. Keep going though. It's ridiculous. 81 00:11:51,000 --> 00:12:20,000 Yeah, in addition to jack-o-lantern, the class action also included other seasonal products that were allegedly falsely advertised, including Reese's peanut butter pumpkins, Reese's white pumpkins, Reese's chunky pumpkins, Reese's peanut butter doughs, Reese's white doughs, Reese's peanut butter bags, Reese's peanut butter footballs, and Reese's peanut butter shaped assortments. 82 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:24,000 Virtually every fucking thing they've done. 83 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:28,000 Yeah, they're all Halloween on it. 84 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:34,000 I know. Brabham, when I saw that I'm like, really? Yeah. 85 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:49,000 In addition to the eye-popping five billion in financial relief sought, the Tampa woman is asking the judge to order the company to change its packaging. 86 00:12:49,000 --> 00:13:10,000 When the price of your peanut butter cups go up, you can blame this dumb bitch, in my opinion. In my opinion, she's a dumb bitch. In my opinion, if the price goes up, it's because they are defending frivolous fucking lawsuits like this, in my opinion. 87 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:18,000 Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. All these other lawsuits, people are winning because of this stupid crap. 88 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:23,000 Yep, Rob, 100% agree. 89 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:28,000 They built the eyes on a different color. It's chocolate. 90 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:32,000 I want to know where the emotional distress is in this. 91 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,000 I don't have a clue. 92 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:41,000 I mean, this person has that guy at McDonald's that was afraid of the wind beat all to hell. 93 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:45,000 Five billion with a B. 94 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:58,000 You know what, I'm gonna wait and see how this plays out. Even as dumb as lawsuits get, I just cannot see very much money going out on this. 95 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:02,000 No, no, that's ridiculous. 96 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:15,000 Let me tell you, if they do retrieve that many billion from this, it's over. I mean, it's over. I mean, common sense has almost disappeared anyhow. 97 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:29,000 Well, with it being a federal class action, wouldn't the money have to go to anybody that can give a receipt? 98 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:33,000 Anybody that ever bought it, it wouldn't go directly to her? 99 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:40,000 Well, this is gonna affect a lot of different things too because a lot of people are gonna be calling up their Walmart asking for a receipt of the transactions. 100 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:48,000 They're gonna go to Chase, they're gonna go to Barclay, they're gonna go to Wells Fargo, all these credit card companies, and retrieve this information. 101 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,000 So that's time spent on it. That's resources spent on it. 102 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:58,000 And then at the end of the day, they're gonna get 50 cents and the lawyers are gonna get a hell of a lot of money for this. 103 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:06,000 Because that's all the class action lawsuits do. And my opinion is to make the lawyers pad their wallets and everyone else gets the scraps. 104 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:12,000 So, anyhow. Is that it on this story? 105 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:18,000 Yeah, yeah. It goes further and further into the legal craft. 106 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,000 Oh, I mean, do you want to cover any of it or not? 107 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,000 No, no. That's a good idea. 108 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,000 Eh, probably a good idea. Probably a good idea. 109 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:30,000 I doubt if I can pronounce half the words. 110 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:35,000 Well, I've got something for us here, Rob. 111 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,000 Okay. 112 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,000 Jeffy X has added again. 113 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,000 Oh, right on. 114 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:47,000 Yes, Jeffy X, our good friend. I thought they'd caught him. He had not come up with anything in a couple of weeks. 115 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:55,000 I was like, oh shit, they figured out who he is and they got him stripped naked fucking zapping his nuts with a taser or something, right? 116 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,000 Well, luckily- 117 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,000 I've been waiting for him to show up to get his Christmas presents. 118 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:14,000 Well, he knows, you know, because of everything that he's done for us, all the sleuth work, he knows that you have embroidered him underwear with his name on the front of it. 119 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:21,000 And on the inside front of it, there is a secret pouch, what we call a Steven Pearcey pouch. 120 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:31,000 Steven Pearcey, the glam metal band rat, who's supposed to use the stuff as underwear to look more appealing in spandex to women and maybe gay men. 121 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:41,000 So, you even did that for Jeffy X, although we're sure he doesn't need padding. You've sewed him the special pocket in front for him so he can just- 122 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,000 Just in case. 123 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:51,000 If he wants to feel in full, that's fine. And you also made him some Sergeant Pepper outfits, embroidered him some, and what else did- oh, what was it? 124 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,000 The flying bat suit. 125 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,000 The flying bat suit, too. 126 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,000 And I'm up to 50 hookers- 127 00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,000 And embroidered. 128 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:03,000 I'm up to 50 hookers and legal marijuana only in Missouri or Colorado. 129 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,000 Yes. 130 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:09,000 Yeah, yeah, because we don't break the law here, two douchebags and a microphone. 131 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,000 Yeah, you cannot leave the state with us. 132 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:16,000 I would never think about getting him in a highly illegal bag of cocaine. I would never do that. 133 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:25,000 So it would have to be legal pot either in Missouri or California or Colorado or wherever. It's legal in the 50 hookers. 134 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:34,000 But to think about it, hookers are illegal, too. So, well, we don't break the law here, two douchebags and microphones, so just forget everything. 135 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:42,000 So, anyhow, in honor of the fork saucer that we talked about last week, right? Remember that thing? 136 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,000 Yeah. 137 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:54,000 Okay. In case anyone did not catch last episode, which makes you a horrible person, you need to rethink your life if you didn't listen to last week's episode. 138 00:17:55,000 --> 00:18:00,000 And also, if you don't recite the Daily Pledge, you're a bad person, too. You must recite that. 139 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:03,000 Yes, yes. Everybody needs to start doing that. 140 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:10,000 Yes. I, Joe, or Jane Listener, needs to hereby pledge everything that's on there. Plus go to Montrose, Missouri. 141 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:28,000 So, anyhow, in honor of the new fork saucer, the fork saucer is a fork that's hollow in the middle and it has a threading on it to where you can attach special tubes that they sell, like ketchup, mayo, mustard, probably some hot sauces, other stuff like that. 142 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:41,000 You screw it on and it literally sauces your food as you have a fork in it. You squeeze the tube part of it and sauce comes out. And it is an automatic saucer fork. 143 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:51,000 So, in honor of that, Jeffy X did some checking and, anyhow, there's some do-it-yourself stuff that failed, you know, like the fork saucer. 144 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:58,000 You know, that may have came to fruition, but there's all these ones here that he sent me that did not go through. 145 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:06,000 You know, they failed the focus panels or whatever, or just the company gave up on it or whatever. 146 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:22,000 So, anyhow, in typical Jeffy X fashion or sleuth, he sent me a message and he said, hey, check your email. Ten minutes is gone. So, I had to like, really, I was on my way out to work. 147 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:29,000 I had to run in here real quick. I had to download it and print it out. And sure enough, ten minutes later, poof, the email was gone, like always. 148 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:40,000 So, thank you, Jeffy X, and you're going to get some stuff from me that I can't talk about and everything that we told you that Rob, his embroidery skills are immaculate. 149 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,000 Yes, yes. I impressed myself. 150 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:50,000 Oh, I tell you, I cried when you did the flying bat scene. That thing is majestic. It's majestic. 151 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,000 And I love the whole bat thing that you got going on the front of it. 152 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,000 Really? 153 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,000 How long did that take? 154 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:03,000 About four or five days. 155 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,000 It is beautiful. 156 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,000 It's my third time. 157 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:13,000 Yes, yeah, it's beautiful. See, I'm starting to get misty, so I'm going to go onto this list. 158 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:30,000 Okay, the first one is self-molding Tupperware. So you put a sandwich in it, it starts to mold for you. So that way you don't have to wait three weeks to find it in the bottom of your refrigerator with green on it. 159 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,000 Oh, I know. 160 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:37,000 Yeah, but it didn't go through, Rob. Did not go through. 161 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:43,000 I know. I'm flabbergasted. 162 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:48,000 What's this world? 163 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,000 That should be a given. 164 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,000 I agree. What's this world coming to? 165 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,000 I know. 166 00:20:54,000 --> 00:21:07,000 Well, the next one, the self-sweating sock did not work. Evidently people don't like a sock that sweats itself. 167 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:15,000 I know. I don't know what to say, Rob. I don't know what to say. 168 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:25,000 I'm very disappointed. It would be great to just go in and have a sock you put on that just starts sweating before you even do anything, right? That way you can get used to it. 169 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,000 Yeah, that would be awesome. 170 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:43,000 I know. I know. And then the next one I'm really disappointed in that it's not coming out. Self-itching jock strap. Not that I ever wear one anymore, but if I did, it would be great to just all of a sudden it just starts itching, right? 171 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:49,000 Yeah. I don't understand why none of these come through. 172 00:21:50,000 --> 00:22:01,000 I don't either. I don't either. Yeah. I don't know what to say, Rob. I guess the American public is so fickle they will screw you out of a great invention like this, right? 173 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,000 Yep. 174 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:18,000 The next one, I kind of agree with this and we'll see what you think. A self-gassy Brussels sprout. I can see the logic in that because if they're your own gas it smells fine, right? 175 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:22,000 Right. Right. Yeah. I can see why that one smells. 176 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:28,000 Yeah. Yeah. So you're getting ready to chow down on the Brussels sprouts and it gases itself? I mean, yeah. Yeah, you may be like, oh. 177 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:32,000 I'd rather smell mine. Yeah, I don't want to smell it. I want to smell mine. 178 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:47,000 Yeah, me too. So, okay. I think I have to agree with that one. So, oh, I just noticed a horrible typo I have in this. In honor, I spelled honor, H-O-N-E-R, honor. 179 00:22:47,000 --> 00:23:06,000 Anyhow, jeez. How many gummies was I chewing on when I did that? Oh well. Next one, a self-burning pizza crust. I don't know what to say, Rob. I don't know what to say. 180 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,000 I thought there were anyway. 181 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:16,000 That's what I thought too. I don't think I've ever had one not be a burnt pizza crust. Huh. 182 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:24,000 This next one depends on how you feel about it. Me, I don't know. A self-starting jackhammer. 183 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,000 But you have to get a little dangerous. 184 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:43,000 I've operated a jackhammer before, have you? Yeah. They're not very fun. So, I think I could see that. Yeah. Man, I tell you what, when you let that thing down. 185 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,000 Could you? Go ahead. No, go ahead, Rob. 186 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:55,000 I was just going to say, could you by the way have that thing in the back of your truck going down 435 and it just goes off. 187 00:23:55,000 --> 00:24:03,000 Oh my god. That's our traffic. Yeah. Since you've operated one before, I've got a question for you. 188 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:09,000 Okay. Were you still rattling for like 10 minutes after you put that thing down? 189 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:19,000 Oh dude, it was like 2-3 hours. Yeah, it was probably more like 2-3 hours. I was up in New York on a job. Go ahead. 190 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:28,000 I'd be driving home and my feet, I couldn't stay right on the gas. I was on and off the gas. 191 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:41,000 We were actually working on a Donald Trump property up in White Plains, New York. 192 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:49,000 And a bunch of concrete had to be jackhammered out. So, I had the honors of being one of those people that got to do that. 193 00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:59,000 And anyhow, and it was in a mall that was open. So, we had to jackhammer really fast to everything and then stop. 194 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:05,000 And then do it again because we could only shut down that part of the mall in like 15 minute increments. 195 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:15,000 And it was just nuts. We had to go, real quick, get a bunch of it out. And then they had to clean it up real quick. 196 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:24,000 And then we had to let everybody through. The mall was circular. You know what, forget it. I'm going into it too much. It doesn't matter. 197 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:32,000 Okay. Next one. Self-starting water faucet. I think I can see that. 198 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:42,000 Yeah. Yeah, all of a sudden you wake up like, you know, like let's say like a cucumber, like a big chunk of cucumber goes and hits the drain. 199 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:52,000 You wake up and there's water all over the floor, you know. Yeah, I get it. And because it's self-starting water faucet, well, there you go, right? 200 00:25:53,000 --> 00:26:00,000 Yep. Alright. Next one. I agree with this because it could be very untimely for your unfortunate fingers. 201 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:08,000 A self-starting food processor. Yeah? 202 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:10,000 That could get a little dangerous too. 203 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:15,000 That could get really bad, yes. So I think I would agree with that. 204 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:29,000 And then a self-spending credit or debit card. I could swear mine does. When I look at my statement every month, I could swear mine does, but it doesn't. Unfortunately, it's me. 205 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:39,000 It is me. But I would swear that motherfucker jumps out of my wallet and just goes on a crazed binge for three or four hours and then jumps back in my wallet. 206 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:47,000 But no, it's not what happens. It's my stupid ass. So yeah, a self-spending credit or debit card. Absolutely. 207 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:57,000 Next one. Self-rusting nails. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Rusted nails suck. 208 00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:59,000 Yeah, they do. 209 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:06,000 Yep. I would agree. But they're easily fixable though. A little 10W-40 on them and they're good as new. 210 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:15,000 And then finally but not least, and I agree with this one too Rob, a self-drilling Rook Canal kit. Yeah. 211 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:22,000 Yeah. Yeah. Hey, that's the wrong tune. Then it doesn't listen. It just keeps going. 212 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:32,000 Yeah. Yeah. Yep. So anyhow, thank you Jeffy X. You're going to get a lot of prizes and fun and games headed your way. 213 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:44,000 Mine we're not talking about, but Rob's is everything that he embroidered because he is just so in awe of your true journalism and your sleuthing skills. Right Rob? 214 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,000 I really am. I really am, Jeffy. 215 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:56,000 You need protection from fucktards. You have people coming and fucking with you constantly. You need answers. You need solutions. 216 00:27:56,000 --> 00:28:05,000 Smacking the nuts. That's right. Smacking the nuts is what you need. Smacking the nuts get rid of said losers in no time flat. 217 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:10,000 Smacking the nuts. Available everywhere wherever you buy self-defense items. 218 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:14,000 Here are just a few testimonials from some satisfied customers. 219 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:30,000 Stupid fuck sack come to me. He talk stupid. He no let me go. Smell like sack of shit. He spit talk all over. I remember smacking balls. I use shit sack. Shit sack lie on ground. I walk off. 220 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:35,000 Thank you smacking the balls. You saved me from smelly, smelly spit. 221 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:50,000 Well I had this stupid son of a bitch come around me. He would not shut his fucking yap or for nothing. He gets up on me and he talks all stupid. And I didn't know what to do. I could not shake this motherfucker like a booger. 222 00:28:50,000 --> 00:29:04,000 Then I remember smacking the nuts. I pulled out old smacking the nuts and that motherfucker went down like a sack of fucking potatoes. Thank you smacking the nuts. You saved me once again from stupid motherfuckers. 223 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,000 Smacking the nuts. Don't leave home without it. 224 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:21,000 Hello? Hello? You still there? You were still listening. Two monkey fuckers and a toaster will be right back. 225 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:33,000 Oh shit. What's that over there? Oh no. It's the island of horrible jokes. 226 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:51,000 The island of horrible jokes. Did you know french fries are not cooked in France? They're cooked in Greece. 227 00:29:51,000 --> 00:30:04,000 Swimming in toxic masculinity and wiping their ass with politically correct wash rags. Two douche bags and a microphone invade your ear holes in 3, 2, 1. 228 00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:08,000 And now, deep thoughts with Mark. 229 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:20,000 Why can't I use my toaster to toast ravioli? Or how about marshmallows? Man, this is bullshit. 230 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:34,000 Two douche bags and a microphone says, you ever dream about eating chocolate pudding and wake up with a spoon in your ass? Just asking. 231 00:30:50,000 --> 00:31:18,000 And we are back baby bitches. I'm Mark. And I'm Rob. 232 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:24,000 Rob, you want to hear a little interesting fact of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelcey's romance? 233 00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:27,000 Yeah, I'd love to hear it. 234 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:39,000 Taylor Swift's world-win romance was soulmate in parentheses. Travis Kelcey has produced 138 tons of CO2 emissions in three months. 235 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:44,000 And the singer would need to plant more than 2,200 trees to offset the damage. 236 00:31:44,000 --> 00:32:01,000 Taylor, 34, owns two planes, a Falcon 7X and a Falcon 900. In three months, her journeys to see Travis have used up 12,622 gallons of jet fuel. 237 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:08,000 The singer was named the biggest celebrity CO2 polluter of the year 2022. 238 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:20,000 So when it comes to seeing Travis Kelcey, she did more than 12 journeys in the last three months. 239 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:33,000 The superstar singer was named the biggest celebrity CO2 polluter in the year 2022. Just to go see the Kansas City Chiefs tight end. 240 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:45,000 Swift is not very happy about this title and she argues it. But it looks to me like they've done the research and they know what the hell they're talking about. 241 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:54,000 Well, think about it. She flies in for every game. She's been flying back and forth on her tour to go to games. 242 00:32:54,000 --> 00:33:04,000 Well, I'll put it like this. Okay. Last weekend she's here Monday for Christmas, right? Wednesday she's in New York in a party. 243 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:15,000 Friday she's back here and supposedly her and Travis is like having a dinner date or some shit. So right there, that's four trips. 244 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:22,000 Yep. Yeah. So I think they're pretty much going home with this. In one week. Yeah, in one week. 245 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:33,000 And imagine the stuff they probably didn't even catch. So yeah, you know what? Yeah. Yeah, Taylor Swift, you're a polluter and you're probably the worst one of celebrities right now. 246 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:40,000 So anyhow, you know what? I don't care if she's mad about it. I think it's true. 247 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:43,000 Sounds like she's going to win the title twice in a row. 248 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:50,000 Yeah. Yep. In my opinion, unless they break up. But then no one would give a shit where she flies. So you're right. 249 00:33:50,000 --> 00:34:00,000 You're right. Yeah. Yep. Yep. I mean, unless it's another, unless it's another athlete or superstar or something like that. Other than that. 250 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:05,000 Yep. I mean, let's face it. The only reason she got on the, I mean, she was already a huge star and everything. 251 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:17,000 But the only reason they even started keeping track of how many trips she did is because they know that she goes back and forth all the time to see Travis Kelsey go back to her home in New York and then come back here and then all that. 252 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:20,000 So anyhow, Rob, you got anything you want to go into? 253 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,000 Yeah. I got other candy stories. 254 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:27,000 Yeah. Hell yeah. I might have a sweet tooth. I don't know. 255 00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:35,000 Well, I mean, yeah, you know what? Sounds good to me, man. I'm always good for candy stories. 256 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,000 Although I really don't care about these. 257 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:53,000 One of your favorite candies could be in jeopardy. There has been a movement to ban it because of an ingredient that has been connected to cancer. But will Peeps will be banned in Missouri and other states in 2024? 258 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:55,000 Peeps? 259 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:56,000 There is an update. Peeps. 260 00:34:57,000 --> 00:35:01,000 Okay. It makes no bearing on me because I cannot stand Peeps. 261 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:07,000 That's why I stand. I don't like them either, but I put a distance between them. 262 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:15,000 Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure there's somebody out there that likes them. There'd have to be. They still sell them. 263 00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:32,000 This bottle has been going on for years, but really reached a zenith during spring of 2023 when Consumer Reports called out Peeps Easter candy for having red dye number three. 264 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:51,000 They said they delivered 35,000 petition signatures to FDA calling for ban of dangerous food chemicals. The potential ban on Peeps became even more real when California passed a ban on the ingredient in October. 265 00:35:51,000 --> 00:36:15,000 They also banned Skittles because Skittles has red dye number three in it too. There's also another candy besides Skittles. California outlawed that red dye. I guess it got the Peeps too, but it also got Skittles and I forgot what else. There's another candy that it affected also. 266 00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:31,000 Yeah, there is. There appears to be good news on the Peeps front as Consumer Reports today. The manufacturer of the candy has just announced they are removing red dye three. 267 00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:44,000 That's a smart move. I mean California is a huge market I'm sure. There's a bunch of idiots there and they all love Peeps. I'm joking around, Gally. We love you. 268 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:49,000 They mentioned Peeps, Hot Tamales. 269 00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:53,000 Hot Tamales. That was it. Hot Tamales was the other one. 270 00:36:53,000 --> 00:37:07,000 Yeah, well they're going to no longer have red number three in them. But there are a few that are still in jeopardy. Double Bubble. 271 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:13,000 Huh, didn't know that. I didn't even know that was still around. I have not seen Double Bubble in years. 272 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:24,000 Some brands of candy corn and Pez has also been mentioned. 273 00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:27,000 Nah, Pez would be a damn shame. 274 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:35,000 I wonder if Skittles already corrected itself because Skittles was the original one that they banned. 275 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:44,000 Yeah, this story does not even mention Skittles. So then I wonder if they already corrected theirs. 276 00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:48,000 They might have. I'll have to look it up because I find that interesting. 277 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:57,000 Because this whole story started, I don't know, maybe three, probably about seven months ago and it was with Skittles. 278 00:37:57,000 --> 00:38:06,000 I think Tofer was still on the program when that was covered. I think me and Tofer actually talked about it. You remember that, Eni? You listen to all the shows? 279 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:08,000 Yeah, yeah I do remember that. 280 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:12,000 Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was, I know that was Skittles. 281 00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:19,000 Hmm, okay. Oh well. Alright Rob, is that all the story or you got anything else? 282 00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:22,000 Yeah, that was the end of the story. 283 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:28,000 Alright, cool. Well, doesn't really affect me. I mean virtually none of those candies. 284 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:33,000 I don't even care for Pez that much. I just think they're neat, you know. 285 00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,000 Yeah, the Spencer's are cool. 286 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:44,000 Yeah, yep. I got one here. You know the Denver Broncos face an illumined decision about Russell Wilson's future 287 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:53,000 with the organization to have benched the nine-time Pro Bowler quarterback for Sunday's game against Los Angeles Chargers and the game after that. 288 00:38:54,000 --> 00:39:07,000 So Russell Wilson's season is over. They're not going to re-up his contract and the reason they're not letting him play on the last two games is because they're afraid of injury. 289 00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:14,000 And if he gets injured, then he gets all his money and I think it's like 36 or 38 million or something like that. 290 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:24,000 And they're strictly doing this as a financial move because they don't think that Russell Wilson is their future and they don't want to pay him all that money. 291 00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:28,000 They want that money for other players. 292 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:39,000 So that's interesting that they gave up on him so quick because Russell Wilson loved him or hated him. 293 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:48,000 He's had two coaches in two years ever since he was let go from the Seattle Seahawks. 294 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:53,000 He had Pete Carroll that whole time that Pete Carroll was in on the drafting of him. 295 00:39:53,000 --> 00:40:00,000 And anyhow, Russell Wilson came from the West Coast and he did a really great job for years. 296 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:08,000 So I just, I don't know, you know, is that fair? Or is there some stuff that we don't know? 297 00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:15,000 Is he like maybe a malcontent in the locker room? Maybe he's aloof and they think he's aloof and doesn't care? 298 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:21,000 I just found this a little suspicious that not two years have went by. 299 00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:32,000 Two years have went by. But in two years he's had two different head coaches and two different sets of coaches, quarterback coaches, offensive coordinators, all of this stuff, right? 300 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:39,000 And then all of a sudden they give up on him and seemingly only him. 301 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:41,000 Right. 302 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:45,000 And you think there's something there that we don't know, maybe? 303 00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:51,000 Well, I mean, come on, you as well as everybody else knows, there's always two sides to the story. 304 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:57,000 Yeah, I mean, he seems like a decent guy. I mean, his quote was he didn't mother fuck anybody or nothing. 305 00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:02,000 He didn't say, man, this is bullshit or nothing. He just said, you know, God's got my back. 306 00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:07,000 Can't wait to see what my next adventure is or something like that. I mean, real classy statement. 307 00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,000 Didn't dog anybody or nothing, you know? 308 00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:16,000 I just I found it intriguing. I've always liked Russell Wilson. He always seemed like a good guy. 309 00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:20,000 He had he had phenomenal talent. I think he still has some. 310 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:25,000 Maybe quite simply, it's his age and the kind of money he commands. 311 00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:33,000 You know, maybe they're like, you know, he's getting in his mid 30s and they're like, you know what, we don't think he has that much football left. 312 00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:40,000 I don't know. So anyhow, or maybe they're residing to the fact that maybe they don't want this great quarterback. 313 00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:45,000 Maybe they want a great defense to go around a Patrick Mahomes or who else is in there? 314 00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:53,000 Oh, Justin Herbert. You know, they have two really good quarterbacks in their same division. 315 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:59,000 So maybe they decided they don't need this superstar quarterback and maybe they're going to go in a different direction. 316 00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:11,000 Because Sean Payton, I know he had Drew Brees for all those years, but he was a defensive coach and he did specialize in defenses in that New Orleans defense that won the Super Bowl and was up there so many times. 317 00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:27,000 Not only got in some trouble for being ultra dirty, you know, like like bounties and stuff like that, but also they were known to be a very tough, rugged defense that that hit hard and made people afraid to be themselves. 318 00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:38,000 You know what I mean? Like like you're getting ready to catch a ball, but you're always kind of looking over your shoulder because that guy's going to just nail the piss out of you after you catch it. Right. 319 00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:48,000 Yeah, you know, it's kind of bone rattling hits that people get something subconscious in their head about, oh, shit, man. 320 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:52,000 Oh, here comes that big deal. It's going to flatten me like he always does. 321 00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:56,000 You know, so anyhow, interesting stuff. 322 00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:06,000 But I know that NFL, it's a business and they're all watching out for themselves and and, you know, Sean Payton like anybody else. 323 00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:12,000 I mean, did they give the oh, shit, I forgot his name. 324 00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:14,000 He's now with the Jets. 325 00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:22,000 They're they're they're head coach last year. Hackett. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 326 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:28,000 So did they did they give Hackett enough time? One year? Probably not. 327 00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:34,000 I mean, Sean Payton is a proven coach and he's been around a long time. He is a Super Bowl winner. 328 00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:44,000 So maybe the fact that they that, you know, they're they're giving their reins to Sean Payton, maybe will someone this guy all along anyhow. 329 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:48,000 So anyhow, interesting. 330 00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:53,000 So I've got another cool story here that I'd like to go into if that's all right, Rob. 331 00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:55,000 All right. 332 00:43:55,000 --> 00:44:03,000 Rob, have you ever seen you ever seen those grease dumpsters out of the back of a restaurant? 333 00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:05,000 Yeah. Yeah. 334 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:09,000 OK, they're pretty good sized dumpsters now. 335 00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:11,000 Remember, they used to be like barrels or something. 336 00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:18,000 But now they're like actual dumpsters that a that a truck comes by and picks up and they pour all it to a rendering plant. 337 00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:23,000 Did you know that one of those full is usually about two thousand five hundred dollars? 338 00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:25,000 When they sell it to the rendering company? 339 00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:27,000 No, I did not know that. 340 00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:30,000 Yeah, there's really big money in used oil. 341 00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:39,000 They use cooking oil is in really high demand from airplane biofuel to cosmetics to numerous other uses. 342 00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:41,000 Now, here's the problem. 343 00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:48,000 Thieves are now targeting these grease dumpsters and selling them to the black market. 344 00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:52,000 Here in Casey, we're having a huge issue with it. 345 00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:59,000 We seem to have a grease that ring that there is a reward for if you help capture them. 346 00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:01,000 Some surveillance video them as well. 347 00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:04,000 But Casey's not alone in this new problem. 348 00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:12,000 Numerous restaurants all over the country have reported used oil theft and the problem appears to be getting it's getting worse. 349 00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:17,000 You know, if you would have told me, I don't know, used oil would be so valuable. 350 00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:20,000 Hell, maybe it's 15 years ago. 351 00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:24,000 Places had to pay a company to come get that stuff for recycling. 352 00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:26,000 Remember those days? 353 00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:28,000 Yeah, yeah. 354 00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:32,000 Yeah. And you used to have to pay for your more motor oil to get recycled to. 355 00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:37,000 And anyhow, boy, times have changed. 356 00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:45,000 I mean, they found so many uses for used cooking oil that it actually is in high demand and people are stealing that. 357 00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:53,000 They're stealing the whole dumpster and selling that for, I don't know, maybe 800 bucks instead of 2,500 on the black market. 358 00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:55,000 That is crazy. 359 00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:57,000 It is, isn't it? 360 00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:03,000 I mean, this is shit. Remember when we used to like empty out the baked potato, the twice baked potato fryers at Justin Jim's? 361 00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:05,000 Yeah, yeah. 362 00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:09,000 That stuff wasn't even thought of. It was kind of like, get that crap out of here. 363 00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:15,000 Now that stuff's like literally gold. I mean, 2,500 dollars for one of those dumpsters. 364 00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:17,000 Does that seem like a lot of money? 365 00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:19,000 I mean. 366 00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:21,000 Yes, it does. Yes, it does. 367 00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:23,000 So, anyhow. 368 00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:28,000 Alright, let's take our next break. You got anything you want to go into after that, Rob? 369 00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:30,000 Yeah, I got something for you. 370 00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:34,000 Alrighty, we'll be right back. 371 00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:42,000 I smell bacon! 372 00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:45,000 No, Wade. It's just Mark sweating. 373 00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:52,000 Next up, things overheard in hell. 374 00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:57,000 Spam. With Spam Hopper tonight. How yummy. 375 00:46:57,000 --> 00:47:06,000 Somewhere in the heavens, your great Grammy Gertrude is crying because her little Bevo is listening to this film. 376 00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:11,000 And now, deep thoughts with Mark. 377 00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:23,000 Okay. If I borrow money from a pessimist, would they expect to not get it back? 378 00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:26,000 Hmph. I may never know. 379 00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:38,000 Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity. 380 00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:52,000 Your IQ isn't even room temperature. 381 00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:10,000 And I'm Rob. 382 00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:14,000 Rob, you have something you want to say. You got something you want to go into. 383 00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:20,000 Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to switch it up here. I'm going to jump from candy to bourbon. 384 00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:24,000 Some people would think of bourbon as candy. 385 00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:28,000 Good point. We used to. 386 00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:35,000 I know we did. Boy, you know, I get such heartburn. Even if I loved the taste of bourbon, I couldn't do it. 387 00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:38,000 Oh yeah, I can't pass the hard stuff anymore. 388 00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:41,000 Me neither. I have heartburn for three weeks. 389 00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:43,000 Yep. Me too. 390 00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:47,000 Yeah, so. It's probably just as well. 391 00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:56,000 Well, with tomorrow night being New Year's Eve, they probably won't hear this until New Year's Day, but oh well. 392 00:48:56,000 --> 00:49:08,000 Studyfines.org. What is the best affordable bourbon? Top seven budget bottles. Most recommended by experts. 393 00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:18,000 I've got a prediction on one of them because I know this to be true because this one bourbon I love, and it's fairly reasonably priced, has Buffalo Trace on there. 394 00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:22,000 Well, let's find out. Shall we? 395 00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:27,000 Okay, go ahead, Rob, because that is to me the best value in whiskey. 396 00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:32,000 First up, we have Old Grandad. 397 00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:48,000 Old Grandad's bourbon roars with bold, spicy character, a fiery spirit born from generations of tradition, singing a Kentucky ballad on the palate at every burnished drop. 398 00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:57,000 Breaking bourbon raised at Old Grandad seems like a brand that everyone respects but rarely talks about. 399 00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:02,000 With a name like Old Grandad, you trust it already, don't you? 400 00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:05,000 Yeah, you'd think so. 401 00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:10,000 Ah, hey, Grandpappy. Yeah, that's no harm in that one. That's Grandpappy. 402 00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:14,000 Alright. 403 00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:18,000 Okay, next up, Buffalo Trace. 404 00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:20,000 I knew it. 405 00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:36,000 Buffalo Trace, Kentucky's liquid sunshine, boasts with a coarse oak and caramel, its fiery sweetness lingering like a warm summer sunset on the top. 406 00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:58,000 And let me give you a little secret here, too. I like it neat, too. But this is just something, if you want a neat little mixed drink that isn't too much and you don't want to drink a whole lot, it's two fingers to one finger, Buffalo Trace and real sugar Mexican Coca-Cola on the rocks. 407 00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:02,000 That, to me, is a delicious drink. 408 00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:11,000 Alright, next up, Larseny. 409 00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,000 Yep, I would agree with that one. 410 00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:29,000 Heaven Hill Distillery plus Larseny bourbon with wheat instead of rye, leading to a softer, smoother character and a bolder taste than its classic counterparts. 411 00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:35,000 A lot of people don't even think it's bourbon, but it is. 412 00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:38,000 That's because they don't use rye. 413 00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:40,000 I know, I know. 414 00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:42,000 They use wheat. 415 00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:49,000 Yeah, it gives it a distinct flavor. I like Buffalo Trace better, but yeah, I get it. 416 00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:55,000 Alright, next up, Old Forrest Street. 417 00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:58,000 Huh, that's on the list. 418 00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:22,000 Old Forrest Street is one of America's first bottled bourbons. The barrel cap explains hand-picked from select barrels, Old Forrest Street 100 proof is a rich, complex bourbon. It's spicy and robust, and it's bottled at 100 proof to maintain its distinct character and full flavor profile. 419 00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:29,000 Sounds good to me. I don't know if I've ever had Old Forrest Street review. 420 00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:32,000 No, I personally have not. 421 00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:37,000 I mean, it's been around a long time. I remember seeing it when I was a kid. 422 00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:47,000 Alright, next up, 1792 Small Batch 40. 423 00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:52,000 Does that ever work? Yeah, okay, sorry. 424 00:52:53,000 --> 00:53:00,000 1792 Small Batch Bourbon hails from the Spartan Distillery in Barksdale, Kentucky. 425 00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:11,000 Finn Warren claims the high rye mash bill gives us a lot of spice up front, shifting into grain cracker and mocha notes. 426 00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:14,000 Sounds good to me. 427 00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:23,000 Next up, Woodford Reserve. 428 00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:27,000 That's not a budget whiskey though. 429 00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:33,000 Why? Isn't this supposed to be a budget whiskey? 430 00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:37,000 Or reasonable priced? Yeah, Woodford. 431 00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:46,000 I wouldn't really consider Woodford Reserve a reasonably priced whiskey. 432 00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:52,000 It's good, but not as much as it costs good, in my opinion. 433 00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:58,000 Yeah, they don't give the prices on here. 434 00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:02,000 Oh, and believe me, it's up there. Look it up online afterwards. You'll see what I mean. 435 00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:05,000 Okay. Go ahead, I'm sorry. 436 00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:16,000 Crafted in the heart of Kentucky, Woodford Reserve proudly utilizes historic copper pot stills and traditional mash bills. 437 00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:28,000 This results in a bourbon that is renowned for its bold, balanced flavor profile with notes of rich caramel, toast, oak, and hints of citrus. 438 00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:37,000 See, I like Angel's Envy better, which is made just right down the road from Woodford Reserve. But anyhow, go ahead, Rob. 439 00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:43,000 And next up, we have Wild Turkey. 440 00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:47,000 Wild Turkey? Now that is a budget one, yes. 441 00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:57,000 Yeah. Kentucky-born Wild Turkey bourbon is aged in deeply charred barrels and has strong smoky flavors. 442 00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:05,000 Breaking bourbon complements Wild Turkey 101 bourbon as everything one would want out of a bourbon. 443 00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:07,000 Wow. 444 00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:12,000 And that is our final one. 445 00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:21,000 Sweet. I think a lot on that list was really good. I just don't get the Woodford Reserve at all. I don't get that at all. 446 00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:30,000 To me, it's expensive and not worth the expense. But anyhow, that's okay. Everybody has a right to their whatever. 447 00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:36,000 So, I don't know, maybe to some people that is budget whiskey. I mean, you know, I don't know. 448 00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:47,000 To me, I've never been one to spend that much on whiskey. I don't get as much enjoyment out of it as, you know, I'd really buy a different drink. 449 00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:49,000 Right. 450 00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:59,000 So, maybe I'm just the one. Maybe I'm not the one to ask. So, great. That was a pretty good little list there, Rob. Thank you. 451 00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:01,000 You're welcome. 452 00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:11,000 You know that they have pretty much proven now that nostalgia helps people be happier and healthier. 453 00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:24,000 This is nostalgia. Like I've always said, you know, all these toys in my childhood. My Jackson Flying V guitar. I look at that and I feel good. 454 00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:40,000 It's a part of my valued teenage years in my childhood. I remember seeing, of course, the one in Jackson, but I remember seeing Randy Rhodes Flying V and going, wow, look at the way that guy plays. 455 00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:42,000 Right. 456 00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:56,000 You know, there's something about nostalgia. I mean, watching old nostalgic movies. You know, I start watching Johnny Sacco and I'm like in another realm. I mean, are you like that? 457 00:56:57,000 --> 00:56:59,000 Yeah, yeah. 458 00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:14,000 Yeah. Watching those old shows that we used to get home that would be on Channel 41. Yeah. Channel 41 back then was WDAF, I believe. Now it's Channel 4 and they switched signals. 459 00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:22,000 Anyhow, Channel 41 was Independent Station and they played all those reruns, you know, like Johnny Sacco and stuff like that. 460 00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:35,000 So anyhow, this article says over the past few decades, research has uncovered three main functions of nostalgia. Increasing social connections, self-continuity and meaning and self-meaning. 461 00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:46,000 Researchers typically induce nostalgia by asking participants to think and write about nostalgic memories or listen to a nostalgic movie. 462 00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:55,000 In the control group, participants are instead asked to think about more mundane memories or listen to music they have no nostalgia for. 463 00:57:56,000 --> 00:58:03,000 Studies show that nostalgia tends to make people feel more socially connected, but they can fondly evolve times with loved ones. 464 00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:12,000 It's a way of bringing them closer, even though they may be physically distant or perhaps they are no longer here with us for a moment. 465 00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:21,000 With nostalgia, you can bring them into the presence and that makes them feel connected and makes you feel loved. 466 00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:26,000 You know, Rob, you and I do this all the time, right? Right. 467 00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:32,000 We're sitting here talking. Remember we were talking about that pizza place in Harrisonville the other day, right? 468 00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:39,000 Yes. Did it not take you back there and sitting at that counter and that little bald guy back there? 469 00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:44,000 Yeah, what do you want? Let's see, I think I'll take a combo. 470 00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:57,000 You know, and like I said, even like the shenanigans that we did, like, you know, getting free pizzas because they gave them away until, you know, we took it too far, like always and stuff like that. 471 00:58:58,000 --> 00:59:02,000 Just talking about that just makes me feel great. What about you? 472 00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:05,000 Oh, dude, I love it. 473 00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:08,000 The older I get, the more into nostalgia. 474 00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:17,000 And I noticed when I started talking about nostalgia, I uncover stories that I remembered. I start remembering stuff that I did that is like really interesting. 475 00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:32,000 It was just like we're talking about something nostalgic and all of a sudden I start remembering Rick Blankenship and Reggie Rash, my alter egos because those chicks at Amaco thought that I sounded like a guy on the radio. 476 00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:39,000 And I would have never thought of that unless we're talking nostalgia and all of a sudden those names just think they popped in my head. 477 00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:43,000 I'm like, oh my God, Rick Blankenship and Reggie Rash. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 478 00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:50,000 And I started thinking about them. Oh yeah, yeah. I went in there and I got free shit because they thought I was on in Houston and Dallas and all that stuff. 479 00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:56,000 And I would never thought of that if it wasn't you and I hashing out old shit like that, you know. 480 00:59:56,000 --> 01:00:09,000 And anyhow, you know, I remember the big parts like Babble Snatch and the MTV guy, Sam, you know, at Bannister Mall and all. 481 01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:21,000 I remember like the big stuff, but then there's like little ancillary stuff like that that I remember, like the pizza place, like Rick Blankenship and Reggie Rash and stuff like that. So I see. 482 01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:24,000 Anyhow, they say, go ahead, what? 483 01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:31,000 I'm just going to say I remember that pizza place because I used to live just like three, four blocks from there. 484 01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:36,000 Okay, yeah. And they had great pizza. They were cool people. Oh, I loved it. 485 01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:42,000 We didn't have a conscience back then. I never do it nowadays, but they were cool people and they had great pizza. 486 01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:51,000 I used to go in there and play that arcade game and I think they had one pinball machine and they had a Pac-Man and they traded out for Galaga. 487 01:00:51,000 --> 01:00:59,000 But then they traded the Galaga out for Centipede and I was pissed because I didn't really care for Centipede. I wanted to go in there and kick Galaga ass. 488 01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:01,000 Alright, me too. 489 01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:05,000 Yeah. And do you remember when they changed it out for Centipede and then no one played it? 490 01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:08,000 No, I don't remember that. 491 01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:13,000 I used to be waiting for my pizza. I'd have to go put my quarter on it so the motherfuckers would get off the Galaga game. 492 01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:19,000 And anyhow, they traded out Galaga for Centipede and I was pissed. I'm like, damn it, bring that Galaga game back. 493 01:01:19,000 --> 01:01:28,000 Oh no, no. Because the way they did it was a guy would give them a percentage of the profits for having his machine there. 494 01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:34,000 It wasn't the pizza place's machines. They were kind of like a rental thing. 495 01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:40,000 They paid them a certain amount of what they made. Let's say they made $300 a week. 496 01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:48,000 Then they would pay the pizza place maybe $100 of that or something like that just to have the machine there and the electricity, right? 497 01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:54,000 So they couldn't help it like the guy came in and switched out games. But anyhow. 498 01:01:55,000 --> 01:02:05,000 So Reminisce and Reinforces are a sense of self-continuity, strengthen the narrative about our lives which is important to our mental well-being. 499 01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:12,000 This may be because of what our nostalgic memories tend to be about. Ourselves at the center of a story with other people we love. 500 01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:17,000 As a result, nostalgia helps us find more meaning in life. 501 01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:25,000 And this study, this particular study was done in 2019 and then revised in 2022 with different people. 502 01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:30,000 And anyhow, they discovered another thing that was interesting. 503 01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:34,000 After COVID, nostalgia got even stronger. 504 01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:37,000 Do you know that? 505 01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:43,000 Yeah, I mean that's really when it started hitting me. 506 01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:47,000 You know what? And that's funny you say that because I got thinking about it too. 507 01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:53,000 I've always been very nostalgic. I love nostalgia and I have precious memories forever. 508 01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:55,000 Yeah, me too. 509 01:02:55,000 --> 01:03:01,000 But I think COVID really brought it out because the self-time I had to just sit there and reflect on things. 510 01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:07,000 There's a lot of downtime. I mean that's, I started listening to a lot more podcasts. 511 01:03:08,000 --> 01:03:15,000 I was always interested in podcasts but I never really became really interested in becoming a creator until COVID. 512 01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:24,000 And then I used to go out of town for work all the time so it really prohibited me from doing a big hobby like this, right? 513 01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:30,000 But now that I don't go out of town all the time anymore and I have a completely different job, 514 01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:36,000 I'm here in Kansas City unless I'm on a vacation or something, I'm here in Kansas City. 515 01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:40,000 So I can do it now. We have scheduled times that we do this. 516 01:03:40,000 --> 01:03:48,000 So anyhow, but during COVID is when I really started thinking about becoming a creator besides just a listener. 517 01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:56,000 And anyhow, but I really got more deep into podcasts and nostalgia because of COVID. 518 01:03:57,000 --> 01:03:58,000 Right. 519 01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:05,000 So anyhow, we are approaching the end of this podcast. You got anything you want to go into? 520 01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:08,000 No, not really. 521 01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:09,000 No? 522 01:04:10,000 --> 01:04:11,000 No. 523 01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:15,000 Well we will be back tomorrow, New Year's Eve. 524 01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:18,000 And you won't get that one until the New Year. 525 01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:23,000 And I got to come up with some catchy thing for the New Year like maybe the New Year baby gets shot in the head or something. I don't know. 526 01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:29,000 You know, because the Santa one went on for what, maybe eight shows. 527 01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:34,000 You know, Santa comes out, Merry Christmas and then he calls you a fucking asshole. 528 01:04:34,000 --> 01:04:38,000 I got to come up with something for New Year's. 529 01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:47,000 Oh, okay. And I got to play you your new promo, Rob, because we got to start doing our year bit. 530 01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:49,000 Yes. 531 01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:54,000 Okay, Rob's going to start being in some bits and it's going to happen here real soon. We're starting out the New Year cool. 532 01:04:54,000 --> 01:05:04,000 So, alrighty, and look for some more things to eat during the apoco- apocalypse. I cannot talk tonight. 533 01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:12,000 Okay, things to eat during the apocalypse. Deep thoughts would mark, things overheard in hell, all brand new ones. 534 01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:23,000 And I have some brand new Island of Horrible jokes and strange insults from an alien just to give you guys just a little hand-groom for some more. Anyhow. 535 01:05:24,000 --> 01:05:25,000 I love them. I love them. 536 01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:27,000 I do too. Which is your favorite? 537 01:05:31,000 --> 01:05:34,000 I think strange insults from an alien. 538 01:05:34,000 --> 01:05:45,000 Me too, because it's so odd. Because, I mean, like the weirdness of it, like may your sock rotate slightly just enough to bother you. 539 01:05:46,000 --> 01:05:58,000 Or my favorite one was may your mother come over, then leave with your drawer slightly ajar. That way you have to go up and close it. 540 01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:00,000 Yeah. 541 01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:10,000 Yeah, I mean, that's just like, what? So, anyhow, thank you everybody for joining us. Have a great night. 542 01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:12,000 Have a good night everybody. 543 01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:15,000 Have a good night everybody. 544 01:06:27,000 --> 01:06:30,000 Hey, where did everybody go? Where are the douchebags? 545 01:06:31,000 --> 01:06:35,000 Oh my god, someone took a dump in the corner. Oh jeez. 546 01:06:35,000 --> 01:06:41,000 Ugh, I'm glad they're gone. Let's just hope they don't come back. Man, that smells.