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Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas!

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You're still a fucking asshole.

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Live from the historic river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri

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from the crystal blue waters of the Missouri River

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it's Two Douchebags and a Microphone Podcast.

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And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.

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How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

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Huh, I may never know.

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Oh Lord, that man just saw a puppy and ha-

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Hey there, don't worry, I have a clown nose.

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Oh no, that drunk guy just hit my child!

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It's okay, I have a clown nose.

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Clown nose, just put one on and you can do anything.

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Wanna run for office? Murder people in public?

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Just grab a clown nose and BAM! Everyone laughs.

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Clown noses are sold at gag stores online and pedophile conventions.

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Grab one today and make magic happen.

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Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.

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Howard Stern just signed a 10 year contract extension.

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Hello everybody, this is Two Douchebags and Microphone, I am Mark.

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And I am Rob.

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Hey Rob, you drink mainly tea, right?

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Yeah, yeah.

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Okay.

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Well I'm drinking right now actually.

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Okay, you do drink a soda every now and then, a soda pop?

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Yeah, once in a while.

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Yeah, you'll have a Coke, Pepsi, RC, whatever, right?

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Uh, Pepsi, but here lately, stuff like that's been upset my stomach, so I've been drinking it starry.

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Oh yeah, yeah, starry is the new Pepsi product.

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Yeah, they're trying to get some of the Sprite.

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Yeah, I like it too, I like Sprite, I like it.

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Actually my favorite of that type is 7up.

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Yeah, yeah, I like 7up too.

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It's getting hard to find though.

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I don't think they distribute it like they used to, the shelf space isn't the same, it isn't quite, you know.

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I don't know why, but a lot of places just don't carry 7up anymore.

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They'll have Sprite, or they'll have Starry, because Sprite is Coke, Starry is Pepsi, but you don't see 7up so much.

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Anyhow, well, do you think your dog would enjoy a soda, Rob?

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Who?

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Your dog.

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Hell no.

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Okay, well, the Jones Soda Company...

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Go ahead, what'd you say?

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Okay, he's picky.

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Okay, the Jones Soda Company thinks your dog would like a soda.

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You know, have you ever, you know, been enjoying a cold refreshing soda and thought, I wish my dog could have one too?

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Well, now that's possible, Rob.

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The Jones Soda Company announced Tuesday that they were expanding into the pet category with the launch of Jones Craft Dog Soda.

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Yes, Rob. Now, don't, quit screaming with excitement and anticipation, okay?

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Alright, Rob, just settle down and I'll read...

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Alright, okay.

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The drink is uniquely formulated for canines in collaboration with veterinarians and dog owners.

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According to a news release from the company, it contains all natural human-grade ingredients as well as functional supplements that boost joint health.

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The sodas are also non-carbonated and contain no sodium or sweeteners of any kind, the company said.

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The drink can be used as a treat, hydration booster, or food topper, according to the company, and it will be available in three flavors, chicken, beef, and a holiday-themed turkey and gravy flavor.

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Rob, calm down, okay?

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Alright.

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Okay?

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Well, I was going to say, if you were talking about it, I was going to say they would have to be non-carbonated for a dog's stomach.

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Exactly, I know.

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They would have to be.

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I'm just being a dick going calm down and all that because I could hear it in your voice like, oh my God, and I was the same way too, but the more I read the article, I made it probably not that bad of an idea.

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Sounds pretty cool.

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It really does.

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While the flavors are specially formulated for your pups, adventurous dog owners are dared to drink it too, the company said in a news release.

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Oh hell no.

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No thank you.

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And another cool thing is Jones is going to do something really cool.

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They're going to have dogs up for adoption in that regional area where you're buying Jones' soda at.

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So they'll have a picture of the dog and go, this is Fluffy, he's two years old, he's a Basset Hound mix or something, you know, and he's looking for a home.

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So that's pretty cool.

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So Jones, I salute you.

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You took something I thought I was going to have a lot of fun with, a hee-hee and ha-ha.

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Actually, not that bad of an idea.

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Sounds pretty good to me.

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I mean, but then again, it all does depend on the price, right?

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Yeah.

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When you can buy a rotisserie chicken for five bucks, okay, and you can throw that on top of a dog's food and buy a soda for three dollars, you know, I know which one's going to win out, the real chicken.

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So anyhow, it's a cool idea and it might be cool as a gag gift or something, you know.

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You got a gag gift with someone, go, well, I didn't get you something, but I got your dog something.

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Well, I don't know, I get my dog treats for both my outside.

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You know what, Rob, you're right.

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Actually, you're right.

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It might be very good on a treat.

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You know, maybe you could even get your dog to behave a little bit better.

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Go, hey, soda, soda.

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That's what I thought.

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Yeah.

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Come here, fight.

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If I take boss outside and he doesn't fight me and we just go out, do his business, he comes in, I get him a treat.

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Yeah, no, we do too.

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We do too.

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Especially Tucker, the big Cata hula that we have.

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He is naturally nervous and he has all this energy because they are a cattle and boar hurting dog.

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They go out there and they round them up.

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So he's always nervous.

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He's always looking for a job.

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And so we have to do stuff like that for him too because if not, he's very mischievous because he gets bored easy.

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So.

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Oh yeah, mine's a beagle.

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So it puts its nose in the ground and it's gone.

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Oh, a beagle you got to watch out because you can lose them very easily.

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They don't stop.

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They keep going.

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They smell a scent and it's just so engraved in them that that is their, you know, that's their personality.

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They're just going to keep rooting until they find the source.

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So, OK, well, you know what?

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I mean, that's cool.

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But I got another cool thing for you, Rob.

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OK.

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You ever feel like being Santa but not want to be in a mall and dressed up in a suit?

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No.

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Me neither, but.

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No, no, no, Rob.

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I get it.

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I'm the same way.

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I'm like, no, I never never thought that sounded cool.

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The U.S. Postal Service.

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There's this guy panning off on the kids.

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Absolutely.

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It's like, look, you little whippersnappers are a lot more energetic than me.

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I'm going to have my old bones sitting over there on the couch.

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Enjoy.

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Yeah, it's going to take three hours to get my ass up off the floor.

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Yeah.

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OK.

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Well, the U.S. Postal Service is looking for volunteer Santas to respond to children's letters.

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I wish I had more time.

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I could be pretty evil.

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Oh, yeah.

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Yeah, that'd be cool.

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You know, I could be really evil because then again, I had my wonderment destroyed by my

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older siblings.

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Oh, Mark.

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Yeah, I know.

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And it sucks when you realize at a young age it's your mom and dad and not Santa.

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But I had two older siblings.

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So I never had a shot at it.

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I never had that whole wonderland of Santa might be there, there, there dousing out my

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hope in no time flat.

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There's no Santa, you little stupid ass.

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It's mom and dad.

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You're no fat guy flying in the air.

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What the fuck's wrong with you, Markie?

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Get the hell out of here.

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You're not in the cool club anymore, you little asshole.

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And they kicked me a couple of times.

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I go to my room and cry myself to sleep.

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Not really.

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You know, I had my wonderment destroyed by older siblings and it sucks when you realize

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at a young age it's your mom and dad and not Santa.

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But there is eight days until Christmas.

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So if you're going to do this, you better hurry.

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At least you're not the Santa at the opening of the show.

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And I'm talking about, you heard the last four shows.

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Santa that's ho ho ho on you and then he's reminding you that you're a fucking asshole.

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That's Santa.

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Never gets old, does it?

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Never gets old.

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No, it don't.

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Rob, you got something you want to speak of?

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Yeah, yeah.

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I found this on 97.9kFM.

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Okay, is this a website?

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The biggest prediction for winter in Missouri from NOAA's Climate Prediction Center is a warmer than normal winter.

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However, something concerns me about what I'm seeing the squirrels in our Missouri neighborhood doing.

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They're building their nests higher up in the trees than normal.

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The reason I know this is something the Old Farmers' Almanac says about squirrels building nests high up in trees as a sign that we're in for a colder or snower winter.

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There are three possibilities here depending on how much faith you put in Old Farmers' tales.

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One, the squirrels in my neighborhood are dumb and have no clue what's going to happen this winter.

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Two, the squirrels are building their nests higher in trees because they know a wolf pack will be traveling through my part of Missouri soon.

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That's what I think it is.

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Three, the squirrels are tight, or the squirrels are right and we're going to get hammered by a bad winter event.

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Okay, here is my thought on this.

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When do you get more snow? When it's 10 below or 28 degrees?

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28.

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Exactly. What is an above normal temperature for the pit of January, the pit of hell in early February?

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28 degrees is a warm temperature.

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Okay, so if you believe that there's going to be a warmer than normal winter,

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then I think you also have to believe that if you have any precipitation at all, it could be a big event because of the temperatures.

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There's more humidity, the humidity isn't sucked out of the air because of how cold it is.

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You still have humidity to work with and you can generate some of those thundersnows that will dump a shitload of snow.

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Thundersnows are not quite the same bearing or impact or even the depth of the snow,

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but thundersnow is like what lake effect snow is somewhere else, only we don't get as much snow.

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Right.

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Thundersnows you get like lightning and thunder because it's up near 30, 32 degrees,

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and you get the huge snowflakes that when they come down they just add up really quick

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and you can get 14, 15 inches of snow in about three hours like that.

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And so if you believe that there's a warmer winter, you can also believe and see a scenario that there is going to be more snow.

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Agreed?

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Right.

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Yes.

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But I don't think it has...

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I totally agree with you on that.

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Okay, I don't think it has that much to do with the squirrels though although I do believe a lot of the old farmers' almanac.

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I think squirrels build their nests higher because I think that the coyotes and wolves will be out more because they can't find food on the ground because of snow.

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Right.

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So I'm going towards... the predators are closer.

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So I guess it may kind of have something to do with the snow and the weather and all that.

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Yes.

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But I also say it's more like they build them a little bit higher up because they're going to be more hungry.

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They're not going to be able to find those little rats in their burrows because there's going to be like eight or nine inches of snow on the ground.

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Right.

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Right.

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So anyhow, but like always, we're going to wait and see because no one's ever been able to predict the weather with great accuracy.

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And it will probably never happen because it just it's too fickle.

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You can have the same.

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You can have the same system three times in a row, the exact same thing in three different outcomes.

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So anyhow, want some alternative insults?

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Sure.

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All right.

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OK, alternative insults, if you haven't heard this before, then you're a bad person because you haven't listened to us enough.

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So we're saying that, right?

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You don't listen to us enough.

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That's bad.

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OK.

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Right.

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You need to listen to us more so you know what an alternative insult is.

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But an alternative insult was born a long time ago and it was out of need.

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And the need was to tell someone really bad that they're a stupid ass.

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But you can't do it because you're in church or work or in front of people.

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So you have to get the message across somehow else.

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So it's not exactly.

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It's not cursing, but it's how you say it, how you look at him and what you call them.

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But it's not cursing and they get the idea.

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So I see someone and they're like, I don't know, being stupid or doing screwing something up.

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My first one would be like, tea leaf.

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I think tea leaf is pretty good because it just sounds stupid.

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You call someone a tea leaf and you're pretty much saying they have like a minus IQ, right?

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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It's like, you tea leaf.

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It is very heavy and dirty.

235
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,000
Yeah, yeah.

236
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,000
Just blank slate.

237
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,000
Nothing.

238
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,000
Nothing there.

239
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:15,000
The next one, call someone a fire blanket.

240
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,000
A fire blanket.

241
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,000
I like that.

242
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:20,000
Yeah, because it just smothers and fucks everything up.

243
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,000
Just puts everything out.

244
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:25,000
Just fire blanket.

245
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,000
I like that one pretty good.

246
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:34,000
I mean, you know, they can all be gems, but they can be somewhere.

247
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,000
I do too.

248
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:39,000
The next one, fountain grass.

249
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,000
I kind of like that.

250
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,000
Yeah?

251
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,000
Yeah.

252
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:46,000
It's like you big lump of grass that's kind of ornamental.

253
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,000
Yeah.

254
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,000
Yeah.

255
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,000
And it's also...

256
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,000
It's right there where we look at you.

257
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,000
Yeah.

258
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:58,000
And you just sit there doing nothing but being fountain grass.

259
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:02,000
Next one, yard ornament.

260
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:08,000
You could be anything from a little spindle to one of those little gnomes.

261
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,000
Yeah, that's a lot of those little gnomes.

262
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,000
Little gnome.

263
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:16,000
One of those ones that's bent over with their pants down and you can see their crack.

264
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,000
Yard ornament.

265
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,000
Or you could be a pink flamingo.

266
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:23,000
Oh, that would be worse, Rob.

267
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:27,000
I would not want to be a pink flamingo, would you?

268
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,000
No.

269
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,000
No, that's pretty bad.

270
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:36,000
With all the teenagers, you never know where you're going to end up.

271
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:39,000
Oh, man.

272
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:45,000
Like what the hell is like you get turned into stuff like a yard ornament and you have to live there.

273
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,000
Oh, my God.

274
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:50,000
It's like, Mark, you've been very bad.

275
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,000
You're going to be a fire blanket in your next life.

276
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,000
What?

277
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,000
Oh, man.

278
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,000
Can I have a do...

279
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,000
No, no, no, Mark.

280
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,000
You've been a real asshole.

281
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,000
You ever listen to one of your podcasts?

282
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,000
Okay.

283
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,000
I guess I'm a fire blanket.

284
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,000
I'm sorry.

285
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,000
We're both do.

286
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,000
Yeah, we are.

287
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,000
Which one would you rather be?

288
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:17,000
Would you rather be a tea leaf, a fire blanket, a fountain grass or a yard ornament?

289
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,000
Well, I think it's going to be a yard ornament.

290
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:23,000
I think it'd be a pink flamingo because you would have a chance to travel at that point.

291
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,000
Yeah, you know what?

292
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,000
I agree with you.

293
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,000
I was thinking yard ornament, too.

294
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,000
You could be one of those gnomes that...

295
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:38,000
This happened quite a few years ago, but someone stole an old man's gnome from the outside of his house.

296
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:41,000
And he was like, who the hell would steal my gnome?

297
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:47,000
And he started getting letters with pictures of this gnome all around the world.

298
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:50,000
Someone played the most elaborate trick on him ever.

299
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:54,000
They never confessed to it that I know of.

300
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:59,000
And they took this gnome and he's at the Eiffel Tower.

301
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:02,000
He's at a shore in Italy.

302
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,000
Oh, I remember that.

303
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,000
Yeah, he's at a winery in Spain.

304
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,000
He's in the Alpine Mountains.

305
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:14,000
They went all around the world and took pictures of this gnome and sent it to that old man that they stole it from.

306
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:18,000
And then one day, the gnome was back where it was before.

307
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:22,000
This is before Ring Doorbell, of course.

308
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,000
Oh, that'd be cool.

309
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:31,000
Yeah, so if you're a yard ornament, you always have that chance that someone could grab you and do something cool like that, right?

310
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,000
Yeah.

311
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,000
Yeah. So I'm with you.

312
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:39,000
I mean, I think the worst one out of these would be a fire blanket because that would be kind of...

313
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,000
Oh, yeah.

314
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:43,000
It'd be like, oh shit, this welder's about ready to catch everything on fire.

315
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,000
Shit, here I... Oh man.

316
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,000
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

317
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:52,000
You're so heavy, you know, hardly anybody can carry you.

318
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,000
Oh man.

319
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,000
You're just there.

320
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,000
I used to hate the jobs where we'd have to...

321
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:59,000
Whenever we welded and we have to have a fire blanket cover and everything.

322
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,000
Yeah.

323
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,000
Oh my god, that just sucked.

324
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:06,000
So anyhow, but I don't have to do that anymore, which is awesome.

325
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,000
So, all right.

326
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,000
Next one.

327
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,000
This one is the worst.

328
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:14,000
Call someone Ross from Friends.

329
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:17,000
Oh god.

330
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,000
David Schwimmer.

331
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:22,000
Oh god.

332
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:28,000
I think I would break someone's fucking temple open for calling me Ross from Friends.

333
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:31,000
Yeah, I think so too.

334
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:37,000
Oh man, that just makes me feel bad just saying it, you know.

335
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,000
Ross from Friends.

336
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,000
Next one.

337
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,000
Rose Petal.

338
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,000
That gets the point across.

339
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:48,000
Oh, look at the cute little rose petal over here.

340
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,000
Aw, come here, rose petal.

341
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,000
Aren't you cute?

342
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,000
You're special.

343
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,000
Yep.

344
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,000
Next one.

345
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:59,000
Tin Ear.

346
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:04,000
Tin Ear is a really good one because they're basically saying that you can't hear

347
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:07,000
because you've been exposed to loud noises all your life.

348
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,000
You're tin-eared.

349
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:14,000
So, tin ear is a pain in the ass.

350
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,000
Next one.

351
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:18,000
Leaf lettuce.

352
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,000
Pretty good one.

353
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,000
Okay.

354
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,000
Yeah.

355
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:26,000
Leaf lettuce, again, goes to the object that just lays there.

356
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:32,000
Yeah, just, you know, you could be put in a salad or you could be put on a burger or

357
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,000
you could just be laying there.

358
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,000
You don't know.

359
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,000
Yeah, see, that's the thing.

360
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:39,000
You don't have any other ingredients to make you good.

361
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,000
No, you're just leaf lettuce.

362
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,000
You're just kind of like laying there.

363
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,000
Yeah.

364
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,000
You know, a lot of people are like, fuck, they throw this shit away.

365
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:48,000
Yeah, I ain't eating that.

366
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,000
Next one.

367
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,000
Ground Chuck.

368
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,000
It's pretty bad.

369
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,000
Pretty bad.

370
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:55,000
Yeah.

371
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,000
Yeah.

372
00:21:56,000 --> 00:22:02,000
Not the worst, but, you know, if you say it with authority, it works really good.

373
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,000
Hey, Ground Chuck.

374
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:05,000
Oh, yeah.

375
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:06,000
Next one.

376
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,000
I don't know yet.

377
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:08,000
70-30.

378
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,000
70-30.

379
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,000
I like that one better.

380
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,000
Brilliant.

381
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:13,000
Hey, 70-30.

382
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,000
Come here.

383
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:19,000
Why you call me that?

384
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:22,000
Because you're not even Ground Chuck, you asshole.

385
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,000
You're 70-30.

386
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,000
Oh, man.

387
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:29,000
Next one.

388
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,000
Onion powder.

389
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:31,000
Oh, shit.

390
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,000
Yeah, that was a good one.

391
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:34,000
Onion powder.

392
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:35,000
Why?

393
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,000
I don't know.

394
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:37,000
Not even an onion.

395
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,000
You're artificial onion.

396
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,000
Artificial onion.

397
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,000
Smashed artificial onion.

398
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,000
Yeah.

399
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:52,000
This next one I really like a lot.

400
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:53,540
Call someone a lost puppy.

401
00:22:53,540 --> 00:22:57,780
Think of how squirrely that would make someone.

402
00:22:57,780 --> 00:22:59,320
You know, you ever see a lost puppy?

403
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:00,320
I've done that before.

404
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:02,160
Oh, you've called someone a lost puppy?

405
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:03,160
Yeah.

406
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:04,160
I like it.

407
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:05,160
Yeah.

408
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:06,160
Alright.

409
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:09,160
I might get wander around, what are you a lost puppy or what?

410
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:14,080
I have a few times.

411
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:17,160
Someone calls me that I'll go pee on their leg and go I guess you're right.

412
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:18,160
Nah.

413
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:19,160
Nah.

414
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:20,160
Nah.

415
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:27,160
Normally they just give me the different old headlight.

416
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,160
Well I'm glad they didn't pee on your leg.

417
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:30,160
Yeah they did.

418
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:32,160
That would have upset you right?

419
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,160
Yeah a little bit.

420
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:38,160
Not like that poor guy accidentally pissed on at the Grand Saloon.

421
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:43,160
Oh that poor guy.

422
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:45,160
You're pezzin on me.

423
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:54,160
All I remember I was so trash is I was laying in against the stall and my dick had the most unique angle.

424
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:56,160
It wasn't anywhere near the stool.

425
00:23:56,160 --> 00:24:01,160
I was going straight to the crack, the partition and I started pissing.

426
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:11,160
All of a sudden the guy's like hey you're pezzin on my face.

427
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:15,160
I got the fuck out of there because there's some big guys playing pool.

428
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:19,160
I was praying because it wasn't one of them.

429
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:25,160
Look I mean I couldn't defend myself anyhow especially I mean one of those huge guys playing pool.

430
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:27,160
Nah no thank you.

431
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:33,160
And then last but not least call someone string cheese.

432
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:34,160
Oh damn.

433
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:40,160
Yeah you're not even block cheese, you're not shredded cheese, you're not cubed cheese.

434
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,160
You're string cheese.

435
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:44,160
Just didn't make the cut.

436
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:50,160
Alright Rob you want to come back with some rasslin is that what you want to do?

437
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:55,160
Yeah let's take a break and let's come back to Rob's Rasslin Roundup.

438
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:56,160
Okay sounds good.

439
00:24:56,160 --> 00:25:07,160
Alright we'll be right back after this with Rob's Rasslin Roundup.

440
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:10,160
The apocalypse just happened.

441
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:11,160
You don't know what to do.

442
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:13,160
You don't know where to go.

443
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:17,160
But we can tell you what you can eat.

444
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:21,160
During an apocalypse don't forget the nuts, hickory nuts that is.

445
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:25,160
Yeah we know hickory wood gets all the glory and all the love.

446
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:27,160
Everyone loves the hickory trees.

447
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:33,160
They cut them down and they make great sandwiches out of barbecue and meats.

448
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:36,160
They smoke them and it's a fantastic deal.

449
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:39,160
But little does anyone know about the hickory nuts.

450
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:45,160
During an apocalypse hickory nuts could be the best thing you could find.

451
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:49,160
Hickory nuts can be eaten raw, toasted or added to various recipes.

452
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:56,160
Their rich buttery flavor and crunchy texture make them an ideal ingredient for both sweet and savory dishes.

453
00:25:56,160 --> 00:26:02,160
You can use hickory nuts to make nut butter, pesto or even a unique hickory nut milk.

454
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:05,160
There are five types of hickory nuts.

455
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:13,160
Bitter nut hickory, shag bark hickory, pig nut hickory, mockernut hickory and smooth bark hickory.

456
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:20,160
Hickory trees are considered part of the walnut species and are plentiful at least around Missouri and surrounding areas.

457
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:24,160
So during an apocalypse don't forget to grab your nuts.

458
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:33,160
Somewhere in the heavens your great Grammy Gertrude is crying because her little Bebo is listening to this film.

459
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:37,160
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.

460
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:43,160
So I order spaghetti and meatballs.

461
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:47,160
My meatballs automatically fall apart as soon as I touch them.

462
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:53,160
So then does my dish automatically change its name to spaghetti and meat sauce?

463
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:56,160
I may never know.

464
00:26:56,160 --> 00:27:07,160
This Ain't Born As Radio Kid is your next generation podcast.

465
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:13,160
Now we go to Rob Raj's Raspen Roundup, the Raspen Rundown for the week.

466
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:21,160
Going into, what's going on in the Rhodes family.

467
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:25,160
Dusty Rhodes, huh?

468
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:44,160
Yeah, yeah, and his brother, or his son Cody and his other son Dust, otherwise known as Goldust, who is now, and I believe, AEW.

469
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:49,160
Okay.

470
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:19,160
Cool.

471
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:22,160
Cool.

472
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:52,160
Okay.

473
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:29,160
Nice.

474
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:46,160
That's very cool.

475
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:50,160
He's all over in the wrestling world.

476
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:58,160
Just came back to WWE from AEW, which he had ownership in.

477
00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:00,160
Interesting.

478
00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:03,160
Yeah, he's all over in wrestling.

479
00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:12,160
I mean, he's good way to have a Texas Bull Rope match against Shinsuke Nakamura.

480
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:13,160
Cool.

481
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:17,160
Which is another match his father started.

482
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:22,160
His Dusty Rhodes was in the first ever Bull Rope match.

483
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:28,160
So yeah, he's come along in his father's footsteps.

484
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:32,160
Real quick, while we're talking about wrestling, Bruiser Brody won.

485
00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:34,160
Oh, did he?

486
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:35,160
Yes.

487
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:39,160
Tofer said that Zack is clean and sober now.

488
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:41,160
He probably shaves his asshole hairs.

489
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:44,160
So he went with Bruiser Brody.

490
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:46,160
Okay.

491
00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:49,160
So.

492
00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:50,160
Oh, and one other thing.

493
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:55,160
You were asked, we were talking about the new Von Erick movie coming out, Iron Claw.

494
00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:58,160
I saw the preview, go ahead.

495
00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:04,160
And you were asking, we were talking about which Von Erick is still alive.

496
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:07,160
It is Kevin Von Erick.

497
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:08,160
Kevin Von Erick.

498
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:09,160
Is still alive.

499
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:13,160
And David Von Erick was the one killed first in Japan.

500
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:18,160
And then it was Mike Von Erick, and then it was Kerry Von Erick.

501
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:19,160
Yeah.

502
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:20,160
Yeah, okay.

503
00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:21,160
Okay, yeah.

504
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:23,160
I mean, there are so many of them.

505
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:26,160
And Kevin Von Erick is the one that didn't look like the rest of them either.

506
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:30,160
He had like dark hair and he's kind of thick.

507
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:31,160
Yeah.

508
00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:40,160
And I also seen a report to where the two Von Erick boys had a match.

509
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:42,160
And you're talking about the ones now.

510
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:44,160
These are the ones now, right?

511
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:45,160
The nephews or whatever.

512
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:46,160
Yeah, yeah, the son.

513
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:47,160
Okay, the son.

514
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:48,160
Okay.

515
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:49,160
Okay, cool.

516
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:55,160
I can't wait to see that because I think that's going to be an excellent movie because there's so much shit that happened.

517
00:31:55,160 --> 00:32:00,160
And did you ever go on YouTube and look at Dark Side of the 90s, the Von Ericks?

518
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:02,160
No, I have not yet.

519
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:03,160
When you do, do it.

520
00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:06,160
I mean, because there's just some unbelievable shit there.

521
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:08,160
I knew there was a lot going on.

522
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:17,160
But a lot of that stuff, I think, wasn't it like it was the Texas league and then it transferred to the WCW, right?

523
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:18,160
Yeah, yeah.

524
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:19,160
Yeah.

525
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:22,160
They started out Texas.

526
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:25,160
They were regional and then they became WCW.

527
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:34,160
And then the Von Ericks automatically got cast into the spotlight because they are royalty in Texas or were.

528
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:35,160
Yeah, they are.

529
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:36,160
Yeah.

530
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:37,160
So yeah, they still are.

531
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,160
So, okay.

532
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:40,160
Well, very cool.

533
00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:47,160
I can't wait for that movie myself because I'm going to find that very interesting.

534
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:51,160
Rob, switching gears here completely.

535
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:58,160
You ever wanted a really good coffee, but you also wanted a taco or a burrito?

536
00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:01,160
Yeah, I also have.

537
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:02,160
I have too.

538
00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:04,160
Yeah, honestly.

539
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:05,160
All right.

540
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:10,160
Well, Taco Bell is going to start serving specialty coffees.

541
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:17,160
We're always pushing the boundaries to deliver bold and craveable Mexican expired flavors our fans have come to expect from us.

542
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:27,160
And these frozen drinks showcase are how far our innovation goes, said Taco Bell US Chief Marketing Officer Taylor Montgomery.

543
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:30,160
We are constantly listening to what our fans are craving next.

544
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:39,160
And we are thrilled to offer them a frozen creation that's just as delicious and desirable as their favorite menu item.

545
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:51,160
Inspired by authentic Mexican flavors, the coffee chillers and churro chillers are the perfect fun and festive all day pick me up with colorful swirls packed with flavor.

546
00:33:51,160 --> 00:34:02,160
The coffee chiller is served with a 16 ounce cup that swirled with craveable flavor on the inside filled with blended iced coffee and topped with a layer of cold foam.

547
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:07,160
Available in Mexican chocolate, caramel churro, and spice vanilla.

548
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:09,160
Man, they got me sold.

549
00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:10,160
Yeah.

550
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:13,160
The churro chiller is served in a 16 ounce cup.

551
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:25,160
Like I said, that's also swirled with craveable flavor on the inside filled with a blended sweet shake and topped with a layer of cold foam and sweet vanilla.

552
00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:28,160
It wouldn't be Taco Bell without an extra twist.

553
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:34,160
The sweet vanilla churro chiller is visually captivating with a purple tint.

554
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:36,160
I don't know what that's about, but OK.

555
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:46,160
All flavors will be available at listed locations for $4.19 for a limited time while supplies last.

556
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:51,160
Doesn't sound like it's going to be a regular menu item though, which disappoints me.

557
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:53,160
It said while supplies last for a limited time.

558
00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:57,160
So my, my, I expect it's going to be like this.

559
00:34:57,160 --> 00:35:01,160
If it hits really well, it's definitely going to get consideration.

560
00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:07,160
They'll be like, you know what, we're getting some of Starbucks and McDonald's money here by having coffees.

561
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:09,160
Then you'll see it stay.

562
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:15,160
But if it's like something people are like, oh, that's OK and have a couple and then they don't buy any more, then it'll be bye bye.

563
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:16,160
So it's that simple.

564
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:20,160
If you think you really like it, go out there and fucking buy it.

565
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:25,160
So anyhow, but while we're talking about coffee.

566
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:33,160
After being closed for every year, federal regulators are trying to order a Starbucks location on the Country Club Plaza to reopen.

567
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:38,160
And the Country Club Plaza, of course, would be here in Kansas City.

568
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:51,160
On Wednesday night, the National Labor Relations Board, NLRB, issued a complaint saying Starbucks unlawfully closed 23 union and non-union stores across the country in 2022.

569
00:35:51,160 --> 00:36:00,160
The NLRB alleges the coffee chain closed the US locations in an attempt to thwart off unionizing efforts.

570
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:08,160
The Starbucks store in the Country Club Plaza was one of the very first stores in the Kansas City area that tried to unionize.

571
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:11,160
But the vote was a tie, which counts as a loss.

572
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:18,160
The company later closed the location in August of 2022, citing safety concerns.

573
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:24,160
Court documents say eight other US locations had already organized when Starbucks closed the stores.

574
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:32,160
Federal regulators want Starbucks reopen the 23 locations and compensate employees for lost wages and benefits.

575
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:37,160
The case will go before a judge next summer unless Starbucks settles the issue sooner.

576
00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:42,160
So, okay, I get what they're saying.

577
00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:44,160
They're, you know, they're preempting union busting.

578
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:47,160
You know, they're like, you know, shutting down the locations.

579
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:52,160
But I've always found it absurd that you would make a place be in business.

580
00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:56,160
How can you do that?

581
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:57,160
I don't know.

582
00:36:57,160 --> 00:36:58,160
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

583
00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:06,160
A judge goes, well, you got to stay in business because we deem that you have to.

584
00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:07,160
I don't know.

585
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:10,160
I mean, they can actually make them stay in business.

586
00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:16,160
I tell you what I think is probably going to happen is is Starbucks going to go, all right, how about we give everybody

587
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:22,160
ten thousand dollars and a pat on the ass and say we're sorry?

588
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:25,160
And then and then it'll probably get settled like that.

589
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:29,160
And they probably won't open the location, but they're going to settle out of court.

590
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:32,160
Do you see what I'm saying?

591
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:35,160
And then agree to one of our invisible ass paddlers.

592
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:36,160
Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

593
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:41,160
Well, they don't really give them ass paddling for it or not?

594
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:43,160
You know what?

595
00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:47,160
We've dealt so many ass paddlers, I really lost track.

596
00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:49,160
We deserve that, right?

597
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:50,160
Yes, we do.

598
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:51,160
People know it.

599
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:52,160
They love it.

600
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:54,160
They embrace it.

601
00:37:54,160 --> 00:38:02,160
People can't wait for another ass paddling to deserving, deserving companies, deserving people, deserving anything.

602
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:06,160
So, yep.

603
00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:09,160
Oh, I wanted to get to something really quick.

604
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:10,160
And I guess this is true.

605
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:11,160
I looked it up.

606
00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:18,160
Jake Browning, backup quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals, has been throwing lights out.

607
00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:22,160
I mean, he has just been fucking bringing it and they've been winning games with him.

608
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:24,160
OK.

609
00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:26,160
My son was telling me about him earlier.

610
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:27,160
Yeah.

611
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:39,160
After he completed his comeback win yesterday, he said 15 minutes after the win, he got a text from the NFL

612
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:45,160
wanting him to submit a drug test urine sample.

613
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:47,160
What?

614
00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:48,160
Yes.

615
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:59,160
Now, I don't know how they came to this conclusion that he's doping, but OK.

616
00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:04,160
If it was just an arm and nothing else to quarterback, right?

617
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:08,160
There'd be so many people throwing lights out and just fucking being great.

618
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:18,160
But there's so much intelligence that's engulfed in memory that's engulfed in this quarterback position

619
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:22,160
that just being on steroids is not going to make you a good quarterback.

620
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:29,160
If that was true, someone like Jeff George would have been the best quarterback ever because he had such an arm.

621
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:35,160
But he had a million dollar arm, in my opinion, and a 10 cent brain.

622
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:37,160
Yeah, you got to know your place.

623
00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:39,160
Remember your place.

624
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:45,160
Yeah, even Brett Favre didn't do shit until he started reading defenses.

625
00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:52,160
So this whole notion that Jake Browning gets a fucking piss test because he's been doing so well.

626
00:39:52,160 --> 00:40:05,160
And the only other thing I could think of is maybe a disgruntled opponent's fan, I don't know, called and gave a tip or something.

627
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:06,160
I don't know how you would do that.

628
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:11,160
How would you get a hold of NFL and go, Hey, I got some really good Iggy here.

629
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:12,160
What's that?

630
00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:15,160
Jake Browning has been toping.

631
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:17,160
What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I saw him.

632
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:18,160
Oh, no shit.

633
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:20,160
I don't know.

634
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:21,160
I don't know how you would do that.

635
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:22,160
Yeah.

636
00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:26,160
I mean, look, I'm no Bengals fan by any stretch.

637
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:39,160
Ruthann in central Ohio, will you please mark this down that I defended the Bengals and Jake Browning?

638
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:40,160
If you're still listening.

639
00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:42,160
Yeah, I'll defend them too.

640
00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:48,160
Yeah, I just thought this was completely bullshit.

641
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:56,160
Anyhow, how about if we take our second break and come back with some more stuff that sound good, Rob?

642
00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:57,160
Sounds good.

643
00:40:57,160 --> 00:40:58,160
All right.

644
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:07,160
We'll talk to you guys here in a minute.

645
00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:10,160
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

646
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:13,160
It's strange insults from an alien.

647
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:15,160
Real hilarity.

648
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:18,160
Don't be ashamed of who you are.

649
00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:22,160
That's your parents job.

650
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:24,160
This is a voice guide from your favorite podcast.

651
00:41:24,160 --> 00:41:26,160
Two douchebags and a microphone.

652
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:30,160
People often ask us how they can find us when doing a remote broadcast.

653
00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:32,160
One, smell.

654
00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:35,160
Go to the city market and start sniffing.

655
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:43,160
Our aromas been described as a mixture of flea powder for goats, Tabasco sauce and old sock with dark fuzzy urine.

656
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:47,160
Two, look for the spot absent of patrons.

657
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:52,160
Three, the most telling sign is a crowd of patrons vomiting uncontrollably.

658
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:58,160
Four, just call us at 816-512-7717.

659
00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:03,160
We're just like a really funny radio show with all the funny taken out.

660
00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:06,160
Next up, things overheard in hell.

661
00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:08,160
Great news.

662
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:13,160
William Hung's world tour has been extended.

663
00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:32,160
Two douchebags and a microphone.

664
00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:34,160
I am Mark.

665
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:36,160
And I am Rob.

666
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:39,160
Rob, you got anything you want to go into?

667
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:45,160
Yeah, I got an American songwriter for you.

668
00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:48,160
I knew you'd be waiting, buddy.

669
00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:51,160
I don't know which one's my favorite, Rob.

670
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:55,160
I don't know if it's Old West Hygiene or American Songwriter.

671
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:57,160
They're both fantastic.

672
00:42:57,160 --> 00:43:05,160
Right now, I kind of eke American Songwriter out a little bit more because of the unique subjects that it comes up with.

673
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:07,160
Anyhow, go ahead.

674
00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:11,160
Yeah, and anybody can go and find any of these.

675
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:13,160
It's on AmericanSongwriter.com.

676
00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:17,160
But why would you when you have Rob Rad talking to you about it?

677
00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:19,160
Right, right. I'll bring him to you.

678
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:22,160
That's right. Rob Rad, he does all the heavy lifting.

679
00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:29,160
He goes over there with his brawn and he grabs these heavy stories and he hauls them back to your ears.

680
00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:31,160
Right, Rob?

681
00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:32,160
Yes, I do.

682
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:36,160
I can see the sweat on your temple. You're such a trooper.

683
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:39,160
Thank you, Rob. It's breathtaking.

684
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:43,160
Well, with that being said, let me take a break real quick.

685
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:49,160
Okay, Rob, you are an icon to the American podcast.

686
00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:53,160
So, go forth and talk about this.

687
00:43:53,160 --> 00:44:01,160
Okay, this is the five American songwriters who revolutionized the art of storytelling.

688
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:05,160
Nice, nice. Go ahead. I love this.

689
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:09,160
Number one, Bob Dylan.

690
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:12,160
Dylan has said he was born into the wrong place.

691
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:19,160
He left Minneapolis for Greenwich Village, changed his name and studied hard.

692
00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:30,160
On his way to becoming his generation's orator of record, he learned hundreds of songs and read books like Harrison.

693
00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:34,160
I don't think anyone could argue with that.

694
00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:40,160
He wrote a lot of songs that people don't even realize he wrote.

695
00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:47,160
To me, he is a better storyteller than he is a musician and I love his music.

696
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:49,160
Yes, I do too.

697
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:56,160
He illustrates things so well with words. It's insane. But go ahead, Rob.

698
00:44:56,160 --> 00:45:00,160
Okay, number two, Willie Dixon.

699
00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:06,160
Willie Dixon wrote Blue Standards that became the foundation of rock and roll.

700
00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:18,160
His Chicago blues was adopted by the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Eric Clapton and pretty much everyone else in rock, whether they knew it or not.

701
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:33,160
Who had Willie Dixon on their blues list? That would be me. Go ahead. Sorry. I had to point that out. Go ahead. I'm sorry.

702
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:45,160
Dixon reported for chess records but found his biggest success as a songwriter for Muddy Waters, Howlin' Wolf and Buddy Guy.

703
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:48,160
Yeah, his stuff is brilliant. Brilliant.

704
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:57,160
Yes. Actually, I know I had Muddy Waters.

705
00:45:57,160 --> 00:46:00,160
You did. You did. It was probably his song.

706
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:02,160
I think he had Buddy Guy too.

707
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:08,160
Yes. Yep. I would think, yeah.

708
00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:16,160
Okay, number three, Bruce Springsteen sings about redemption.

709
00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:39,160
Giving a voice to the working class, Springsteen writes songs of sympathy for the hopeless. Even the seedy characters in Springsteen's songs deserve respect. Curious and smart Springsteen peeps under the hood to find out why the engine failed.

710
00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:46,160
Okay, as a storyteller, I can't argue with that but his music, I just don't get it.

711
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:50,160
Right. I'm the same way. I'm the same way.

712
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:51,160
It's not my thing.

713
00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:57,160
I can see the stories in him but yeah. I won't get a huge fan.

714
00:46:57,160 --> 00:47:11,160
Look at Born in the USA, that song. Come back home to their final read, man says son if it's up to me. He got nowhere to run, he got nowhere to go. I mean he's talking about Vietnam Vets and how they were shit on.

715
00:47:11,160 --> 00:47:14,160
Yeah, that's what they're talking about.

716
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:28,160
Yeah, go ahead. I mean his illustration to his songs are just insanely accurate and just brutally honest. I love them. But the music I could do without. Go ahead. Sorry.

717
00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:52,160
Okay, number four. Woody Guthrie is one of the most significant American songwriters in any genre. His power of the songs is like a how to guide for protest singers. This land is your land was Guthrie's contentious answer to God bless America.

718
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:55,160
Okay.

719
00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:56,160
I get it.

720
00:47:56,160 --> 00:48:13,160
I mean, I've never known that much about him. So, okay. All right. They've been good on everything else. So, okay.

721
00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:14,160
You all right.

722
00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:16,160
Finally, number five.

723
00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:18,160
All right.

724
00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:20,160
Hank Williams.

725
00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:30,160
The original. Just four years, Hank Williams established the future of contemporary country music. His life was like a country song.

726
00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:36,160
Years of difficulty plagued by tragedy led to his early death at age 29.

727
00:48:36,160 --> 00:48:51,160
He left behind what became the standard for country music and just popular music in general. Songs like I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry and Hank is looking foundational to American songwriting.

728
00:48:51,160 --> 00:49:01,160
I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry is just such a good song. I mean, music and lyrics. Yeah, I agree. 100%.

729
00:49:01,160 --> 00:49:08,160
Now, Rob, do you know how Hank Williams, the first died?

730
00:49:08,160 --> 00:49:10,160
It was a plane crash, wasn't it?

731
00:49:10,160 --> 00:49:14,160
Was it?

732
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:17,160
Maybe not.

733
00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:21,160
The old story was, is he had a heart attack in his sleep.

734
00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:31,160
Yeah, I was thinking, I was thinking Roy Rogers.

735
00:49:31,160 --> 00:49:37,160
Roy Rogers.

736
00:49:37,160 --> 00:49:44,160
Let me see. I'm trying to look it up. Cause of death.

737
00:49:44,160 --> 00:49:46,160
I'm just curious.

738
00:49:46,160 --> 00:49:47,160
Heart failure.

739
00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:52,160
The result of an original autopsy indicated that Williams died of a heart attack.

740
00:49:52,160 --> 00:50:05,160
Author Colin Escort concluded in his book, Hank Williams, the biography that the cause of death was heart failure caused by a combination of alcohol, morphine, and chloral hydrate.

741
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:07,160
Well, that would do it.

742
00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:10,160
That would do it. There you go.

743
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:12,160
Alright, well now we know.

744
00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:14,160
I think I was thinking Roy Rogers.

745
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:25,160
I think. Anyhow, no, I just asked that because I kept hearing heart attack, but I heard he had a heart attack in his sleep, which I guess he probably did according to this.

746
00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:28,160
I mean, morphine would have put you to sleep.

747
00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:29,160
So, yeah.

748
00:50:29,160 --> 00:50:30,160
Right.

749
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:32,160
Yeah, and all the other stuff in his system.

750
00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:33,160
So, okay.

751
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:40,160
Well, Hank, you checked out early, but you left us with the second and the third.

752
00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:44,160
And I like the third. Have you heard Hank Williams the third?

753
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:48,160
I've heard a little bit of stuff. Yeah, I'm kind of liking it.

754
00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:50,160
He's unique. He does his own thing.

755
00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:51,160
Yeah.

756
00:50:51,160 --> 00:50:53,160
He does a little bit of all different genres.

757
00:50:53,160 --> 00:50:55,160
And he's very, he's very talented.

758
00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:59,160
So, okay.

759
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:06,160
Not too long ago, I got into these old sayings and what they meant like, you know, stitching time saves nine.

760
00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:11,160
What in tarnation, right? Remember we did tarnation?

761
00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:12,160
Yeah.

762
00:51:12,160 --> 00:51:14,160
And we did a couple other ones.

763
00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:16,160
Well, I got some more of these.

764
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:20,160
These are old sayings and their origin of why they say them.

765
00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:21,160
Okay.

766
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:23,160
Sound good?

767
00:51:23,160 --> 00:51:24,160
Yeah.

768
00:51:24,160 --> 00:51:25,160
Okay.

769
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:26,160
Bite the bullet.

770
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:28,160
Have you ever heard that one?

771
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:29,160
Yeah.

772
00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:31,160
Yeah, so have I.

773
00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:36,160
Meaning to accept something difficult or unpleasant.

774
00:51:36,160 --> 00:51:37,160
Origin.

775
00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:46,160
In the olden days when doctors were short of anesthesia or time during a battle, they would ask the patient to bite down on a bullet to distract from the pain.

776
00:51:46,160 --> 00:51:52,160
The first recorded use of the phrase was in 1891, in the light that failed.

777
00:51:52,160 --> 00:51:54,160
So, okay.

778
00:51:54,160 --> 00:51:55,160
All right.

779
00:51:55,160 --> 00:52:01,160
I mean, that one's kind of anticlimactic because I think everyone kind of figured that out, right?

780
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:05,160
That one was kind of self-explanatory.

781
00:52:05,160 --> 00:52:11,160
Next one we have here on this list, break the ice.

782
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:18,160
The meaning, to break off a conflict or commerce, a friendship.

783
00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:19,160
Origin.

784
00:52:19,160 --> 00:52:21,160
Back when road transportation.

785
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:25,160
Did I say commerce? Commence a friendship.

786
00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:26,160
Okay.

787
00:52:26,160 --> 00:52:27,160
Sorry.

788
00:52:27,160 --> 00:52:28,160
Let me do this over.

789
00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:32,160
Meaning, to break off a conflict or commence a friendship.

790
00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:33,160
Origin.

791
00:52:33,160 --> 00:52:39,160
Back when road transportation was not developed, ships would be the only transportation and means of trade.

792
00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:44,160
At times, the ships would get stuck during the winter because of ice formation.

793
00:52:44,160 --> 00:52:50,160
The receiving country would send small ships to break the ice, to clear away for the trade ships.

794
00:52:50,160 --> 00:52:55,160
The gesture showed affiliation and understanding between the two territories.

795
00:52:55,160 --> 00:52:59,160
So, I think that's a pretty good saying, right?

796
00:52:59,160 --> 00:53:02,160
I mean, break the ice, it does kind of mean, yeah.

797
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:04,160
Yeah. Yeah.

798
00:53:04,160 --> 00:53:06,160
All right.

799
00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:09,160
Next one, cat got your tongue.

800
00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:12,160
This one I always wondered about, okay?

801
00:53:12,160 --> 00:53:19,160
I never could understand why cat got your tongue meant something, you know, like you can't talk or whatever.

802
00:53:19,160 --> 00:53:25,160
Meaning, asked to a person who is at loss for words.

803
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:26,160
Origin.

804
00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:32,160
The English Navy used to use a whip called cat-o-nine tails for flogging.

805
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:37,160
The pain was so severe that it caused the victim to stay quiet for a long time.

806
00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:39,160
Yeah.

807
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:41,160
Okay. Okay.

808
00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:51,160
Another possible source could be from ancient Egypt where liars and blasphemers were, tongues were cut out and fed to the cats.

809
00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:53,160
Oh, my God.

810
00:53:53,160 --> 00:53:56,160
Oh, boy.

811
00:53:56,160 --> 00:53:58,160
Aren't you glad we don't live in those times?

812
00:53:58,160 --> 00:53:59,160
Geez.

813
00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:02,160
Yeah, no shit.

814
00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:03,160
Okay.

815
00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:05,160
Turn a blind eye.

816
00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:07,160
I actually know this one.

817
00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:12,160
Meaning to ignore situations, facts or reality.

818
00:54:12,160 --> 00:54:14,160
The origin.

819
00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:19,160
The British naval hero, Admiral Horatio Nelson, have one blind eye.

820
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:29,160
Once the British forces signaled for him to stop attacking a fleet of Danish ships, he held up a telescope to his blind eye and said, I don't see the signal.

821
00:54:29,160 --> 00:54:36,160
He attacked nevertheless and was victorious.

822
00:54:36,160 --> 00:54:38,160
Yeah, I don't see it.

823
00:54:38,160 --> 00:54:43,160
He's looking out of his blind eye.

824
00:54:43,160 --> 00:54:46,160
This next one always had me intrigued.

825
00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:48,160
Give a cold shoulder.

826
00:54:48,160 --> 00:54:49,160
We've all heard that.

827
00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:52,160
You know, someone's like not happy with you and they're not really talking to you.

828
00:54:52,160 --> 00:54:55,160
It's like, man, I do something to piss Rob Radoff.

829
00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:57,160
He's not really saying that much.

830
00:54:57,160 --> 00:54:58,160
All right.

831
00:54:58,160 --> 00:55:00,160
So and probably I did.

832
00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:01,160
Right.

833
00:55:01,160 --> 00:55:02,160
Probably.

834
00:55:02,160 --> 00:55:11,160
And now I'm joking around being meaning being unwelcoming or antisocial towards someone origin.

835
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:15,160
The first recorded use of this phrase dates back to the early 1800s.

836
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:28,160
It refers to an old custom of giving an unwelcome guest a cold piece of meat from the shoulder of mutton, pork or beef chop as opposed to a welcome guest receiving a warm serving.

837
00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:32,160
This was a polite way to communicate.

838
00:55:32,160 --> 00:55:33,160
You may leave now.

839
00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:39,160
So if you got cold mutton or pork or steak, you bet you must be fucking huffing it, right?

840
00:55:39,160 --> 00:55:41,160
Yeah.

841
00:55:41,160 --> 00:55:42,160
Yeah.

842
00:55:42,160 --> 00:55:44,160
This next one's always intrigued me.

843
00:55:44,160 --> 00:55:49,160
Have you ever figured out what caught red handed meant?

844
00:55:49,160 --> 00:55:50,160
Yeah, I have.

845
00:55:50,160 --> 00:55:51,160
Have you really?

846
00:55:51,160 --> 00:55:52,160
Well, you know what it means.

847
00:55:52,160 --> 00:55:54,160
But do you know where the origin was from?

848
00:55:54,160 --> 00:55:56,160
No, no, I don't.

849
00:55:56,160 --> 00:56:00,160
Okay. Meaning to be caught in the act of doing something wrong.

850
00:56:00,160 --> 00:56:01,160
Right.

851
00:56:01,160 --> 00:56:02,160
Origin.

852
00:56:02,160 --> 00:56:10,160
This originates from an old English law that ordered any person to be punished for butchering an animal that wasn't his own.

853
00:56:10,160 --> 00:56:18,160
The only way a person could be convicted of this if he was caught with the animal's blood still on his hands.

854
00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:19,160
Okay.

855
00:56:19,160 --> 00:56:20,160
Oh, wow.

856
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:22,160
Yeah.

857
00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:23,160
That's a pretty good one, too.

858
00:56:23,160 --> 00:56:26,160
I mean, that makes sense, doesn't it?

859
00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:27,160
Makes a lot of sense.

860
00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:30,160
So if he had a water prop, he'd get away with it.

861
00:56:30,160 --> 00:56:31,160
Exactly.

862
00:56:31,160 --> 00:56:33,160
You don't see any blood on my hand, do you?

863
00:56:33,160 --> 00:56:34,160
You can go.

864
00:56:34,160 --> 00:56:38,160
Fucking asshole.

865
00:56:38,160 --> 00:56:39,160
Next one.

866
00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:41,160
Bury the hatchet.

867
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:46,160
Meaning to stop a conflict and make peace.

868
00:56:46,160 --> 00:56:47,160
Origins.

869
00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:54,160
This one dates back to the early times in North America when the Puritans were in conflict with the Native Americans.

870
00:56:54,160 --> 00:57:00,160
When negotiating peace, the Native Americans would bury all their hatchets, knives, clubs, and tomahawks.

871
00:57:00,160 --> 00:57:04,160
Weapons were literally buried and made inaccessible.

872
00:57:04,160 --> 00:57:07,160
Wow.

873
00:57:07,160 --> 00:57:10,160
That makes a lot of sense, don't it?

874
00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:11,160
Bury the hatchet.

875
00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:24,160
Well, you know, and they even used it in later times, too, like the old mafia, you know, whenever they'd have like a two opposing crews, groups, or families, right?

876
00:57:24,160 --> 00:57:35,160
They would have another family come in and they would have everyone turn their weapons to them so no one could hurt anybody and they'd try to hash something out.

877
00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:41,160
Very famously, they did a lot of that in the Sopranos and some other stuff, Goodfellas, stuff like that.

878
00:57:41,160 --> 00:57:53,160
But it was true, it was widely known that, you know, some would negotiate a peace gathering and they would take all the weapons to make sure that nobody got stupid and killed somebody.

879
00:57:53,160 --> 00:58:02,160
So burying the hatchet went on to live on to other meanings, or well, not other meanings, but to other aspects in life later on.

880
00:58:02,160 --> 00:58:06,160
Next one, let one's hair down.

881
00:58:06,160 --> 00:58:09,160
Meaning to relax or be at ease.

882
00:58:09,160 --> 00:58:18,160
Origin, in public, the aristocratic women of medieval times were obligated to appear in elfin hairdos that were usually pulled up.

883
00:58:18,160 --> 00:58:25,160
The only time they were, they would let their hair down was when they came home and relaxed.

884
00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:28,160
That makes sense.

885
00:58:28,160 --> 00:58:29,160
Yeah.

886
00:58:29,160 --> 00:58:33,160
Next one, rub the wrong way.

887
00:58:33,160 --> 00:58:38,160
Meaning to bother or annoy someone.

888
00:58:38,160 --> 00:58:43,160
Boy, that describes two douchebags in a microphone, doesn't it?

889
00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:44,160
Yes, it does.

890
00:58:44,160 --> 00:58:48,160
Oh, by the way, dude that hates us wrote us three more times.

891
00:58:48,160 --> 00:58:52,160
I'm going to get the emails on our next podcast Tuesday.

892
00:58:52,160 --> 00:58:53,160
Alright.

893
00:58:53,160 --> 00:58:57,160
Yeah, he's relentless.

894
00:58:57,160 --> 00:59:01,160
I think it's great we got a hater so vivid.

895
00:59:01,160 --> 00:59:03,160
So, okay, rub the wrong way.

896
00:59:03,160 --> 00:59:05,160
Meaning to bother or annoy someone.

897
00:59:05,160 --> 00:59:12,160
Origin, early Americans during the colonial times would ask their servants to rub their oak floorboards the right way.

898
00:59:12,160 --> 00:59:21,160
The wrong way not wiping them with dry fabric after wet fabric would cause streaks to form and ruin it, leaving the homeowner annoyed.

899
00:59:21,160 --> 00:59:29,160
Alternatively, it could have derived from rubbing a cat's fur the wrong way, which annoys them.

900
00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:33,160
So, okay, that one was good, but not as good as the other ones.

901
00:59:33,160 --> 00:59:34,160
But you know what?

902
00:59:34,160 --> 00:59:37,160
They can't all be gems, right?

903
00:59:37,160 --> 00:59:38,160
Right.

904
00:59:38,160 --> 00:59:41,160
Alright, let's see if I have any more here.

905
00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:44,160
I think that may be all of them that I have for this one.

906
00:59:44,160 --> 00:59:53,160
But there's more that I will compile and let you guys in on.

907
00:59:53,160 --> 00:59:55,160
Okay, there's tarnation.

908
00:59:55,160 --> 00:59:59,160
I'll recover that one, but I'll do it again in case someone didn't hear the podcast.

909
00:59:59,160 --> 01:00:03,160
Where did the expression what in tarnation came from come from?

910
01:00:03,160 --> 01:00:05,160
Character Yosemite Sam.

911
01:00:05,160 --> 01:00:07,160
What in tarnation?

912
01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:22,160
The word tarnation was originally a 1784 American English derivative of darnation, which was predictably enough a milder way of expressing the profanity damnation.

913
01:00:22,160 --> 01:00:32,160
So the T in tarnation was influenced by tarnal, yet another mild 18th century profanity.

914
01:00:32,160 --> 01:00:33,160
Okay.

915
01:00:33,160 --> 01:00:41,160
Yeah, yeah, that one explained a little bit better than the first one that I read.

916
01:00:41,160 --> 01:00:44,160
It went into a little bit more depth, so I kind of understand it a little bit better.

917
01:00:44,160 --> 01:00:47,160
So, okay, that was cool.

918
01:00:47,160 --> 01:00:50,160
Let's see.

919
01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:54,160
Here's another little story I'd like to get to before we end this shit show.

920
01:00:54,160 --> 01:01:03,160
A strange dolphin in the Gulf of Corinth has developed intriguing book-shaped thumbs carved out of its flippers. Photographers show.

921
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:06,160
And it does look like little thumbs.

922
01:01:06,160 --> 01:01:26,160
Researches with Pelagos, Pelagos, and whatever. I should know that. It's Greek name. Research Center spotted the dolphin on two occasions this summer during their boat surveys off the coast of Greece.

923
01:01:26,160 --> 01:01:38,160
Despite the unusual appearance of its flippers, the animal kept pace with the rest of its pod and was seen swimming, leaping, bow riding, playing with the other dolphins.

924
01:01:38,160 --> 01:01:56,160
And it said, Alexandrios, big long Greek name. I'm not even going to bother. Something like that. Jones, Henry, Ford. I don't know.

925
01:01:56,160 --> 01:02:19,160
And then the scientific coordinator with the president of the Pelagos Research Institute. It's the very first time we saw this surprising flipper morphology in 30 years of surveys in the open sea and also in studies while monitoring all the stranded dolphins along the coast of Greece for 30 years.

926
01:02:19,160 --> 01:02:31,160
They have never seen anything like this and they don't have any explanation why it's just one dolphin that they can gather has these little thumbs growing out of his flippers.

927
01:02:31,160 --> 01:02:41,160
I have a theory and I can say this because I am Greek. I think one of those filthy Greeks over there had sex with a dolphin.

928
01:02:41,160 --> 01:02:51,160
I heard of that. I'm just joking. I'm Greek. I'm joking around. I heard the flipper was doing it. Really?

929
01:02:51,160 --> 01:02:57,160
Yeah. I was just joking around. When you're out on a boat for a week to 10 days.

930
01:02:57,160 --> 01:03:01,160
Oh man. Oh.

931
01:03:01,160 --> 01:03:07,160
Okay. That's what I've been told. I don't know personally.

932
01:03:07,160 --> 01:03:20,160
Okay. Well, you know what? People will bang corpses. Why wouldn't they bang a dolphin?

933
01:03:20,160 --> 01:03:36,160
Who knows? I mean, you know, there's so many different variables in this whole thing. It could be anything at all. But anyhow, very intriguing that it's just one of these dolphins for some reason has grown little thumb like things.

934
01:03:36,160 --> 01:03:39,160
Anyhow, Rob, you got any stories you want to do?

935
01:03:39,160 --> 01:03:40,160
That is weird.

936
01:03:40,160 --> 01:03:46,160
It is. Got any stories you want to get to before we sign off here?

937
01:03:46,160 --> 01:03:53,160
Did you hear that Tyreek Hills being served with two paternity suits by different women?

938
01:03:53,160 --> 01:04:00,160
No. Go ahead. That's why you needed me.

939
01:04:00,160 --> 01:04:19,160
Yeah. This is crazy. Okay. Okay. Star wide receiver Tyreek Hill who made a move from the Kansas City Chiefs to the Miami Dolphins is March 2022 is making waves both on and off the field.

940
01:04:19,160 --> 01:04:34,160
Okay. The first paternity suit was filed by Brittany Roitner who asserts that she had a relationship with the NFL star in 2022 resulting in the birth of their child in March.

941
01:04:34,160 --> 01:04:35,160
Wow.

942
01:04:35,160 --> 01:04:53,160
Roitner who shared a video of their baby wearing a tiny number 10 jersey claimed that her filing that she is unemployed, has no income, is in debt, is on Medicaid and lacks means of support.

943
01:04:53,160 --> 01:04:54,160
Wow.

944
01:04:54,160 --> 01:05:05,160
The second lawsuit comes from Kimberly Baker who alleges that she had a relationship with Tyreek in August of 2022.

945
01:05:05,160 --> 01:05:08,160
Man, he was busy.

946
01:05:08,160 --> 01:05:09,160
Oh, he gets better.

947
01:05:09,160 --> 01:05:12,160
Okay.

948
01:05:12,160 --> 01:05:21,160
They give the suits the $2,500 a month. He's been giving these women $2,500 a month.

949
01:05:21,160 --> 01:05:22,160
Is that like hush money?

950
01:05:22,160 --> 01:05:29,160
He's noting that the actual cost of caring for their daughter is closer to $10,000 a month.

951
01:05:29,160 --> 01:05:30,160
Wow.

952
01:05:30,160 --> 01:05:32,160
What the hell.

953
01:05:32,160 --> 01:05:35,160
Geez.

954
01:05:35,160 --> 01:05:53,160
Despite these legal challenges, Tyreek Hill reportedly attempted to have both lawsuits dismissed. It's worth noting that Tyreek married Keita in November of 2022.

955
01:05:53,160 --> 01:05:57,160
You're right. But wait, there's more.

956
01:05:57,160 --> 01:06:01,160
Oh my God.

957
01:06:01,160 --> 01:06:07,160
Yeah. Keita was his longtime girlfriend.

958
01:06:07,160 --> 01:06:16,160
Isn't that the one that he had problems with when he was here in Kansas City, I think?

959
01:06:16,160 --> 01:06:19,160
Yeah, yeah, yeah it was.

960
01:06:19,160 --> 01:06:20,160
Yeah.

961
01:06:20,160 --> 01:06:26,160
But yeah, he's been giving them $2,500 a month, but now they're wanting $10,000 a month.

962
01:06:26,160 --> 01:06:27,160
Tyreek.

963
01:06:27,160 --> 01:06:30,160
Because he's making $30 million a year now.

964
01:06:30,160 --> 01:06:34,160
You might start investing in condoms.

965
01:06:34,160 --> 01:06:36,160
Yeah, it might be a good idea.

966
01:06:36,160 --> 01:06:46,160
It might be a good idea for you, okay? Especially, you know, this whole wipe thing and all of that, you know. Yeah. Yeah.

967
01:06:46,160 --> 01:06:52,160
I think Trojan Man could probably visit you and you would probably do very well.

968
01:06:52,160 --> 01:06:54,160
Or do yourself much better.

969
01:06:54,160 --> 01:06:56,160
Yeah, I might bring up some sponsorship.

970
01:06:56,160 --> 01:06:59,160
Yeah, there we go. You go, hi, I'm Tyreek Hill.

971
01:06:59,160 --> 01:07:01,160
I'll provide money. Make them commercials.

972
01:07:01,160 --> 01:07:07,160
Yeah, you could pay them all the proceeds of the Trojan commercials.

973
01:07:07,160 --> 01:07:11,160
Rob, that's what we do. We help. We help.

974
01:07:11,160 --> 01:07:14,160
Two douchebags and microphone is here to help.

975
01:07:14,160 --> 01:07:18,160
So Tyreek, you're welcome. You're welcome.

976
01:07:18,160 --> 01:07:22,160
You know, he's got to hear this and go, that's what I got to do. It's brilliant.

977
01:07:22,160 --> 01:07:24,160
Yeah, make money on it. That's right.

978
01:07:24,160 --> 01:07:26,160
That way he could pay for his child support.

979
01:07:26,160 --> 01:07:30,160
Turn a kick in the ass to a pat on the ass, guy. Come on.

980
01:07:30,160 --> 01:07:35,160
Go, hey, look, man, I'm Tyreek Hill and I had my wiener where it shouldn't have been.

981
01:07:35,160 --> 01:07:40,160
And I got a little bit of trouble. So, hey, how about if I do a couple of commercials for you guys?

982
01:07:40,160 --> 01:07:41,160
Yeah.

983
01:07:41,160 --> 01:07:47,160
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We got you covered, Tyreek. No problem. No charge.

984
01:07:47,160 --> 01:07:54,160
Anyhow, everybody, have a great night. Thank you for joining us. Thank you, Rob.

985
01:07:54,160 --> 01:07:55,160
Great episode.

986
01:07:55,160 --> 01:07:59,160
Yep, absolutely. Good night, everybody.

987
01:07:59,160 --> 01:08:01,160
Good night, everyone.

988
01:08:13,160 --> 01:08:17,160
Hey, where did they go? Where are the douchebags?

989
01:08:17,160 --> 01:08:22,160
Oh my God, someone took a dump in the corner. Oh, geez.

990
01:08:22,160 --> 01:08:28,160
Ugh, I'm glad they're gone. Let's just hope they don't come back. Man, that smells.