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Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas!

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You're still a fucking asshole.

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The apocalypse just happened. You don't know what to do. You don't know where to go. But we can tell you what you can eat.

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Garlic mustard could and should be a go-to food during an apocalypse. Garlic mustard is plentiful everywhere. It is actually an invasive weed, but it can be very delicious and easily taken from about any pasture.

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Garlic mustard can be stewed or even pan-fried for delicious taste. It can also be added to other ingredients, whether it's a salad or any other type of food to enhance it. Garlic mustard should be a go-to staple during the apocalypse.

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Do they make ear condoms? I certainly need them for this garbage.

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Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.

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Man, Axel Rose is such a great childhood therapist. I hope he writes more books.

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Hi everybody, this is Two Douchebags and Microphone. I am Mark. And I am Rob.

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Alright, everybody, thank you. Welcome for joining us. I mean, thank you for joining us. Welcome. Something like that.

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I'm going to go into something that I read yesterday and it kind of pissed me off because I'm a big fan of Al Michaels. And NBC confirmed, I think it was yesterday, to the Associated Press that Michaels will not be working the playoffs.

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It was first reported by the New York Post that 79-year-old Michaels was the voice of Sunday Night Football from 2006 to 2021, before leaving for Amazon Prime Video's Thursday Night Package when his contract expired.

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But he still had in his contract that he was going to do the playoffs, you know, the games that NBC was doing. And NBC, he was like, you know, he was like telling people, no, no, no, no, I'm still doing the playoffs, that's in my contract.

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Well, NBC said, no, you're not doing the playoffs. You see, I think it's a complete mistake because Michaels only sounds bored because of the low quality of games on Amazon Prime this year.

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I would demand my money. I've always liked Al Michaels. He's one of the better ones. Yes, yes.

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Yeah. And it's really irritating that they're going to have Mike Tirico and Chris Collins work when they could have Al Michaels on there. I know. Al Michaels has done it so many years.

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Yeah, he's just like a very familiar voice. You know, if I was Amazon, I would demand some money back. You know, there might be a little bit of bad blood between NBC and Michaels.

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But, you know, NBC is definitely, you know, hurting the broadcast by not having him on, at least to be a contributor. Right. OK, so maybe you don't want him. You're trying to establish Tirico and Collins worth as the new guys or whatever.

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But you could still have them on there as a contributor and he would be fantastic at it, you know. Yeah, but him is number three. Adding to those two and putting him as number three. Yeah.

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And I think, yes, yes. But the thing is, is they're not even willing to do that. And that irritates the piss out of me because their broadcast is pretty good. It's good. It's one of the better ones. But they are missing Al Michaels greatly on their broadcast.

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So, you know, I think it's a mistake and I don't like NBC doing that to him. And I know why he left NBC had nothing to do personally with them. He didn't like that flex, you know, where they flex a game.

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And when, you know, he's thinking he's going to go stay there in California, let's say San Francisco versus let's say the Chargers were good. He thought, OK, well, I'm going to stay here in California.

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Then all of a sudden they're like, oh, the Chargers are horrible this year. So we're going to flex you to Baltimore against Cincinnati and Baltimore.

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And then the next thing you know, he's going to cross the country. He's 79 years old, you know.

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And from what I understand, that was his biggest issue and why he went to Amazon Prime because those games are not flexed.

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But it also does not guarantee a good game, which we have been seeing all year. The Amazon Prime games have been horrible.

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Nobody cares about him. And Al Michaels is simply bored. If they think that he's no good anymore, they're wrong.

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You give him a good game with a little bit of enthusiasm. That guy will be the same guy.

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But, you know, you can tell he gets bored with the game. He's like, well, if I'm bored, you know, he's thinking if I'm bored, everyone else is bored.

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So I'm going to start making some gambling references because the only people that give a shit about this horrible game are people that gamble.

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That's it. Because they're the only ones that have anything riding on that game at all. No one else cares.

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They don't care if Carolina beats the Bears. They don't care if the Bears beat Carolina. Nobody gives a shit.

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Only the betting people give a shit about a game like that. And Al Michaels knows that.

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And that's why he makes these not so thinly veiled, you know, not so disguised gambling references.

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He actually comes out with it sometimes on a horrible game. And he'll just be like, well, you know, because of this, you know, this, this isn't, you know, he'll he'll actually mention like, you know, well, this messes that betting lineup or something or, you know, for those of you.

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So, anyway.

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I haven't got the watching on Thursday night.

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Well, he's sounding bored. And I can tell you why he is. Well, I read a lot of different stories about that. A lot of people are saying that. They agree with you. He's bored.

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Yeah. Yeah. I'll tell you what. He can still bring it. There was one good game earlier in the year and he sounded he was good.

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He was like he was into it and it was a good game. I forgot what it is now. But it's like in the first three games.

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He sounded great. Oh, the Chiefs started out playing playing Detroit on Thursday night football.

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Yeah. Yeah. But that was not Al Michaels. NBC started that one for whatever reason.

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So, anyhow, now, since we're talking about the NFL, I'm going to go into this is the new tick tock.

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And and all these little gadgets, YouTube, whatever, you know, the youngsters and everybody looks at for conspiracy stuff that.

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OK, Sports Illustrated addressed it. Supposedly, the NFL's color scheme is in the colors of the teams that are going to be participating in that year's Super Bowl.

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So last year, they said that the that was green and red, red for the Chiefs, green for the Eagles. Before that was Cincinnati Orange and and yellow and blue for the Rams.

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It says this year that we'll hear all go into the article. OK, you see what I mean by what they're saying is, yeah, yeah, I think it's a conspiracy controversy going on right now.

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And people say then it felt scripted. I've heard this for a while and I think some have a have a good argument for being influenced.

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I don't know about outright scripted, but it's definitely influenced as we could see.

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And look, especially with the referee in this year, it's not just the Chiefs game. It's a lot of it's a lot of games.

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The Chiefs game was a prime example of it.

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Before that, there was another I forget what game it was. But that those referees were being watched the next week by the league.

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Yeah, they're they're horrible. They're horrible and they're not getting any better.

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So OK, so here is the article that explains what they're saying.

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This is Sports Illustrated from Sports Illustrated online. They actually addressed this because that's how popular that this conspiracy theory is getting.

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OK, there's no question that this is going to be one of the dumbest things you read today.

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But it's twenty twenty three and 90 percent of what you see in your tick tock, Instagram and Facebook videos are conspiracy theories about flat earth and how creators of the Simpsons have been to the future.

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That's a good one. Have you seen that one?

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They predicted Donald Trump being president. There's a whole bunch of stuff.

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It's pretty interesting because they hit a lot of this stuff dead on.

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Yeah, that's just do get a lot. Yeah, but you can watch it.

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Theocracy and see the same thing going on.

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So but anyhow, so why not add to the dumpster fire by looking into the Super Bowl logo conspiracy theory?

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Credit to something called NFL memes. I think we've all seen NFL memes, right?

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They're everywhere and they're funny little things, you know.

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So anyhow, on Twitter for sparking this controversy with a post Tuesday night that has garnered millions of views in less time than it took.

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Josh Dobbs to make people forget about Kurt Cousins.

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Well, they're not forgetting about him now because Josh, Josh Dobbs started sucking.

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Now they wish they had Kurt Cousins back, but he can't because he's got a torn ACL.

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The post, the post shows the last two Super Bowl logos and suggests that the color scheme reveals the two teams that will compete in the Super Bowl in 2021.

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The reddish orange of the Bengals and the yellow hue from the Rams was the logo.

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And behind there were two clubs that played the Super Bowl last year.

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It was the Eagles and the Chiefs was the logo of last year.

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And those two color schemes, Super Bowl 57 color logos this year, the logo features purple and a shade of red.

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Purple, you say? Well, that could be Minnesota, but probably not.

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It would probably be the Baltimore Ravens. They were.

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Yeah. And red is worn by the Chiefs, Buccaneers and Cardinals and 49ers.

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So people reading into that said it's going to be the 49ers against the Ravens.

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And that was Super Bowl 47, maybe or something like that.

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That was a Ravens against the 49ers.

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And that was Colin Kaepernick won against Joey Flacco and Joey Flacco and Jim Harbaugh against John Harbaugh.

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And the other was the Story Logs. Kaepernick had all the controversy about kneeling and all that stuff.

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And John Harbaugh and Joe Flacco won over. They won the Super Bowl.

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So this would be a rematch of 47 or 46 or 45, something like that. I'd have to look.

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Yeah, yeah, somewhere in there.

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So if the conspiracy is real and NFL is scripted or whatever creates the logo that knows, you know,

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the

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The

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Super Bowl, according to the color schemes now.

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OK. OK, I have a question. Go ahead. Go ahead.

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Can you think of any NFC team that has purple?

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That's what I was going to say. The Vikings, for one.

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I don't see them doing it.

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No, I don't either. They're not going to do it, especially with Josh Dobbs.

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Yeah. No, it would. OK.

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So it would pretty much have to be.

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It would have to be the Ravens.

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It would beat out Kansas City. So Kansas City would even be on that list.

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Well, OK, the Ravens are the number one seed and will probably remain there.

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The schedule. They don't have an easy schedule, though.

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They have a hard schedule, just like the Dolphins are probably they might.

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The Dolphins might get out by beat out by the Bills because the Dolphins are playing the Ravens.

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They're playing the Bills.

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They're playing the Cowboys and they're playing someone else really good.

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The Dolphins schedule is brutal, is brutal.

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And and the Bills just got gifted this win in Kansas City last weekend.

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So now suddenly the Bills are starting to get the hot hand and the Bills could overtake the Dolphins.

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And the Dolphins could be a wild card.

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So it's going to be interesting.

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All I got to say is Tyreek, you better put on your big boy panties.

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Well, the other day he hurt his ankle and that's another wild card in it.

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Oh, that's right. He did, didn't he?

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Yes. Yep. He went hobbling pretty bad.

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He wasn't much of a factor in that game.

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He was on a couple of passes, but he really hurt his ankle and he's not, you know,

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that ankle injury may prevent him from getting the all time yards leader for one year or two.

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So we'll see. We'll see this week.

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And the refs screwed Travis Kelsey out of the record books too with that with that pass lateral.

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And it's just disgusting what they do.

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Yeah, I've been wanting to do a report about that.

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I'm not going to.

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No, no, no, no, no, no.

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The Chiefs could have played better.

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The Chiefs deserve that loss.

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Yes, they could have.

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They deserve that loss.

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They should not have been in that position to begin with.

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Exactly. They should have not been in that position.

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So it's not an excuse for the Chiefs.

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What it is though is, is they screwed Kelsey out of something for the record books.

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And that pisses me off.

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No, Tooney did.

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Well, okay. That right there is a nitpicking foul.

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Yeah, see that's where it's all over the place.

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You see, most of the times they say, hey, your foot's on the line, take it off.

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Or they don't call it at all.

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So that is a discretionary one.

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And why would you wait on discretionary until after the play was made and then you throw the flag?

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If you were that convinced of it, you would have threw the flag right then.

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And I would report she did it like four or five times during the whole game.

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So why after that play was completed?

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That was a lot better.

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Yes, yes.

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Look, it was influenced. That game was influenced.

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That game was influenced.

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And they cannot tell me anybody with a fucking brain at all can see this right now.

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And it pisses me off that these fucking idiots are allowed to influence a game that I love so much.

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And I'll tell you what, when the Chiefs start sucking again and my Holmes is gone,

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they won't get me as a fan because I won't give a shit about football because of the way they're doing things.

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Football, get your head out of your ass. You don't want to be baseball.

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And you know what I say? Fuck baseball. I'll never go back to baseball.

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Because now they did this new lottery system.

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They're fucking teams like Kansas City even more.

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So baseball and all you greedy motherfuckers, fuck you.

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Because I'll never come back to you guys. I hate you motherfuckers.

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You ruined the games. This is the players and the owners.

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All of you guys ruined the fucking game.

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So eat a big fucking bowl of ass because I'm never coming back to you guys.

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In baseball, it's all about who has the money.

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Each team has a different cap because that's all you can afford.

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And here's another thing too.

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Baseball is not catching on with the kids.

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Soccer is catching on with the kids.

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Rugby is catching on with the kids.

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Football is caught on with the kids.

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It has been for quite a while.

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Nobody, basketball is big with the kids.

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Nobody gives a shit about baseball.

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Nobody, you're a dying sport.

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And I can't wait for it to go away, honestly.

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Not the best little league.

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You know?

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No, here's what I want to happen.

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And they're also in the ass paddling this week.

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But they've been on it before.

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It's Major League Baseball. Okay?

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But what I want to happen is this league to go bankrupt.

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That way, a league that's smarter than them can come up and do things right.

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Like the NFL is done with their salary cap.

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But the NFL is screwing themselves over with their own brand of bullshit too.

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But anyhow, let's go ahead and move on with that.

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And I have another story here that I wanted to report yesterday.

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But we're running out of time.

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There's so many stories I throw away every week.

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It's driving me nuts.

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They're like time sensitive.

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And by the time it comes around, it's like, this is old news.

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I can't even, you know.

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And you do the same thing.

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We talked about it off air.

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Oh yeah, yeah, all the time.

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I have a whole notebook full.

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And I've only told maybe a third of it.

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Yeah, the same here.

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I've got like all these stories I'm pitching every week.

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But you know what?

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At least, you know what?

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It's a quality show because we're doing the best that, you know,

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we're doing the best stuff that we're picking out and hitting at.

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And then maybe the other stuff isn't quite as good.

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So I think it makes a stronger show, right?

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Well, also it helps doing as much homework as I do.

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Because honestly, there's a lot of times you bring up the stories that I have.

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00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:41,000
I know. You've told me that several times.

205
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:44,000
I have so many backed up.

206
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:48,000
Okay, well let's do this, you know.

207
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:51,000
Yeah, no, your stories are awesome.

208
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,000
Can I play poker, brother?

209
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,000
It really is, I know.

210
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,000
And I realize I steal your thunder.

211
00:18:56,000 --> 00:19:02,000
As a matter of fact, the NFL, the Super Bowl logo is straight from Topher's desk.

212
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,000
Topher and I had coffee today.

213
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,000
And he's the one that brought this to my attention.

214
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,000
And I did some research.

215
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,000
Thank you, Topher.

216
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,000
Yep, thank you, Topher.

217
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:12,000
Oh, and also Topher, thank you for loaning me your Fender amp.

218
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,000
I got to tune my new guitar.

219
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,000
It sounds great.

220
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,000
Oh, good.

221
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,000
Yeah, yep.

222
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:20,000
Oh, and Merry Christmas, Topher.

223
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,000
Yep, Merry Christmas.

224
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:26,000
Maybe one of these days I'll smash some power cords on our broadcast.

225
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,000
We'll see.

226
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:31,000
So, anyhow, I have this story here.

227
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:37,000
Millennials have recently been blasted for spending $7 a day on a cup of coffee,

228
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:40,000
meanwhile complaining about lack of money.

229
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:44,000
The group says that the emotional support that the coffee brings

230
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:48,000
and the joy that it has in it is worth every penny.

231
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:52,000
One lady stated, and this would be a millennial,

232
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:57,000
well, it's not a trip to Greece, but the emotional effects are the same.

233
00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:00,000
The odd thing is, I agree with them.

234
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:03,000
You know, some people go to the therapist.

235
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,000
Some people take meds.

236
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:08,000
Some people, it's even alcohol or tobacco.

237
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,000
I get it.

238
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:13,000
I, too, enjoy my coffee immensely and would not want to do without it.

239
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,000
I brew my own coffee mostly,

240
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,000
but when I need a little pick-me-up before work,

241
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:20,000
I will definitely go to the coffee house up the road.

242
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,000
And I talked about it, what, a couple of podcasts ago?

243
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:27,000
It's my guilty pleasure, a flavored iced coffee with extra espresso shots,

244
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:33,000
and I pay seven bucks for a coffee, and I feel good.

245
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,000
I mean, that coffee gives me that little pick-up I need for work,

246
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,000
makes me feel good.

247
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,000
I have my purchase.

248
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,000
Everybody has their purchase.

249
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,000
I agree with the millennials.

250
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:46,000
You want to spend $7 a day on a cup of coffee, that's fine.

251
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:50,000
You could take that $7 a day and buy a trip somewhere,

252
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:53,000
but you choose to have pleasure every day instead of that one day

253
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:57,000
that you're waiting for or whatever, that one week or whatever.

254
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,000
I get it.

255
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,000
And besides that...

256
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:04,000
Just don't be that person to come bum that money from me.

257
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,000
Yeah, exactly.

258
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,000
You're earning your own money.

259
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:10,000
You have a right to buy your coffee all you want.

260
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:13,000
And I think people giving a Greek about this is wrong,

261
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,000
because that's your money.

262
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,000
You do what you want to with it.

263
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,000
So anyhow, I just wanted...

264
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:22,000
That's what I'm teaching my son right now.

265
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:23,000
Yeah, yep.

266
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,000
Well, that's the way it should be.

267
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:28,000
So let's take our first break.

268
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:29,000
We're getting on the 20-minute mark.

269
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,000
That should be when our first break is,

270
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,000
and we'll be right back with some more stories.

271
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,000
Sound good, Rob?

272
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,000
Sounds good.

273
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:40,000
All right, we'll talk to you in a minute.

274
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:45,000
You need protection from fucktards.

275
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:48,000
You have people coming and fucking with you constantly.

276
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,000
You need answers.

277
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,000
You need solutions.

278
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,000
Smack in the nuts!

279
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,000
That's right.

280
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:56,000
Smack in the nuts is what you need.

281
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:59,000
Smack in the nuts, get rid of said losers in no time flat.

282
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,000
Smack in the nuts!

283
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:05,000
Available everywhere wherever you buy self-defense items.

284
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:09,000
Here are just a few testimonials from some satisfied customers.

285
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,000
Stupid fuck sack come to me.

286
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,000
He talk stupid.

287
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,000
He no let me go.

288
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,000
Smell like sack of shit.

289
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,000
He spit talk all over.

290
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,000
I remember smacking balls.

291
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,000
I use shit sack.

292
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,000
Shit sack lie on ground.

293
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:24,000
I walk off.

294
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,000
Thank you, smack in the balls.

295
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:29,000
You saved me from smelly, smelly spit.

296
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:33,000
Well, I had this stupid son of a bitch come around me.

297
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:36,000
He would not shut his fucking yap or for nothing.

298
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:39,000
He gets up on me and he talks all stupid.

299
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,000
And I didn't know what to do.

300
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:44,000
I could not shake this motherfucker like a booger.

301
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,000
Then I remember smack in the nuts.

302
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,000
I pulled out old smack in the nuts.

303
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:52,000
And that motherfucker went down like a sack of fucking potatoes.

304
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,000
Thank you, smack in the nuts.

305
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:58,000
You saved me once again from stupid motherfuckers.

306
00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,000
Smack in the nuts.

307
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,000
Don't leave home without it.

308
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:05,000
Next up, things overheard in hell.

309
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:12,000
The brand new Kale Cola started selling nationwide yesterday.

310
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:15,000
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.

311
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:21,000
So let me see.

312
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:25,000
Let's say I was offended by people being offended.

313
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:29,000
Then would people being offended all the time would have to not be offended around me

314
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:33,000
because I was offended by them being offended?

315
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,000
Hm.

316
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,000
I may never know.

317
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:58,000
Music.

318
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,000
Two douchebags and a microphone.

319
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,000
I'm Mark.

320
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,000
And I am Rob.

321
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:04,000
Alright.

322
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,000
Did you want to go into something, Rob?

323
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:09,000
You got anything or you want me to just keep rolling?

324
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,000
Well, no.

325
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,000
Actually, I do have a little something I want to get into.

326
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:13,000
Alright, Rob.

327
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:14,000
The floor is yours.

328
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:15,000
Please do it.

329
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:18,000
I want to give you a personal thank you.

330
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,000
Okay.

331
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,000
You got to...

332
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,000
Well, okay.

333
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:27,000
We talked about this before we went on.

334
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,000
Oh, okay.

335
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,000
Okay.

336
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:30,000
I know what it's about.

337
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,000
Go ahead.

338
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:35,000
You got to tell me about Bubbly Love Sponge.

339
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,000
Yeah, it's still a good show.

340
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,000
I mean, he's been around a long, long time.

341
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,000
Yeah, yeah.

342
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,000
It's an awesome show.

343
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,000
I'm enjoying it.

344
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:44,000
I'm learning.

345
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,000
I'm listening.

346
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:50,000
And hopefully I can pull some of that into our show.

347
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:55,000
Well, I tell you, he is the consummate professional when it comes to radio.

348
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,000
You know, morning shows specifically.

349
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:58,000
He's smooth.

350
00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,000
Yes, he is.

351
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,000
He transitions great.

352
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,000
He sounds great.

353
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,000
The thing is...

354
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:08,000
Even getting up there in his years, he still sounds good.

355
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:09,000
Yeah, he does.

356
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,000
And another thing is this right here.

357
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:16,000
He's had so many facets of the show, so many people have came and left and all that, and

358
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:22,000
his naughtier years and his calmer years and his years that were turmoil with all the stuff

359
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:27,000
that happened around him or stuff that he directly did that hurt himself, that he admits

360
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:31,000
that it hurt himself, all the scandals and everything, and he's still rolling.

361
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:35,000
Only now he is listener financed almost exclusively.

362
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,000
He has terrestrial affiliates.

363
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,000
He has like five or six.

364
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:48,000
But he has people send him money for the show through various platforms, YouTube, Brumble.

365
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:55,000
It was Twitch, but Twitch got so stupid on the rules that he couldn't really do a show

366
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:56,000
anymore.

367
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,000
You know, anytime he did something...

368
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,000
Yeah, I heard him talk about that.

369
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,000
I heard him yesterday or the day before.

370
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:09,000
But he is almost exclusively listener financed, and he has rabid fans that have been with him

371
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,000
for like 40 years.

372
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:16,000
I've been with him like over 20 years, and I'm not going anywhere.

373
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:21,000
I support him whenever I can, going to his YouTube channels.

374
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:24,000
I throw him some money here and there whenever I can.

375
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,000
I mean, you know, I support him as much as I can.

376
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:34,000
But the thing is, is he is like the template of where this art is going.

377
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:38,000
This art is going to where it's listener financed.

378
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:44,000
And not subscription based, like they were trying to do that, like Anthony Kumia of OPI

379
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:50,000
and Anthony took and had this subscription based show, and it flopped.

380
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:52,000
And then I think OPI from that show tried to do it.

381
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:55,000
Other people tried to do it, and it doesn't work.

382
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:59,000
The only person to ever pull that off was Rush Limbaugh.

383
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:03,000
And that was just replays of his terrestrial show.

384
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:09,000
People paid to have that, to have his archives.

385
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:12,000
Because he was Rush Limbaugh.

386
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,000
Exactly.

387
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:19,000
I don't even think Stern could pull that off, honestly.

388
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,000
Yeah, no.

389
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:25,000
So anyhow, or back in the day, Stern might have been able to, not now.

390
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:40,000
Actually, I heard Bubba talking the other day about how Stern lost possession of a lot of his archives.

391
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,000
Yes, yes he did.

392
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:45,000
Because he didn't own them, CBS owned them.

393
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,000
Yeah, yeah.

394
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:52,000
And satellite radio had to buy a lot of those back, but they couldn't get all of them.

395
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:55,000
All of them could not be retrieved.

396
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:58,000
Yeah, yeah, Bubba was talking about that.

397
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,000
A couple days ago, right?

398
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:05,000
His show has been federally trademarked.

399
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:13,000
He owns all his stuff, including other characters that they still use on other shows.

400
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:16,000
And I don't know why he lets them get away with that.

401
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:20,000
He could probably stop it right now, but he probably just simply doesn't care.

402
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:24,000
So anyhow, but yeah, he's almost strictly financed by the listeners.

403
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:28,000
So anyhow, yeah, it's a great show.

404
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:31,000
I'm glad that you listened to me and it turned you on to it.

405
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:37,000
But you have somewhere that you're going with this, so go ahead and do it, Rob.

406
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:44,000
Well, you told me about TuneIn, which is an app.

407
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:47,000
It's the most convenient way to listen to anything.

408
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:50,000
Spotify, I Heart, everything.

409
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,000
I downloaded it.

410
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,000
I took the 30-day free trial.

411
00:28:55,000 --> 00:29:01,000
And after 30 days, I think it's what, $6.99, something like that.

412
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:05,000
I get mine for free.

413
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:06,000
Oh, really?

414
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:14,000
Well, I did the free trial and I had to put in my debit information and everything.

415
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:17,000
Okay, well, you know what?

416
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:21,000
It's worth $6.99, though, because you get the ad free.

417
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:22,000
I don't get the ad free.

418
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,000
Well, that's why I was getting ready.

419
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,000
It's definitely worth it to me.

420
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,000
Yeah, that's cool.

421
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:32,000
Because there's a radio station out of Columbia, Missouri.

422
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,000
Which I am familiar with.

423
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:40,000
Yeah, and come to find out, me and I was talking to Mark about this before we went on.

424
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,000
He knows about all this.

425
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,000
He knows about the station.

426
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:53,000
I worked in Columbia for like three weeks at my old job doing the library of University of Missouri library.

427
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:58,000
And every morning, me and the guy I worked with, Brian, would listen to that show before we went in.

428
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:01,000
We'd get to the job site about 40 minutes ahead of time.

429
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:07,000
And we'd just sit in there and listen to the radio show and wait to go in when the place opened up at 8 o'clock.

430
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:10,000
And we're like, man, this show is pretty damn good.

431
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:11,000
We enjoyed it.

432
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,000
But go ahead, Rob, take over from there.

433
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,000
Talk about it.

434
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:21,000
Well, I looked for it on iHeart and I couldn't find it.

435
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:22,000
You know why?

436
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:23,000
It's a competing media company.

437
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:28,000
Well, I haven't been able to get on since I was on TuneIn anyway.

438
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:30,000
Ah, let's give it a shot.

439
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:31,000
It pulled it up.

440
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:39,000
So I am now listening to 96.7 KCMQ out of Columbia, Missouri.

441
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:40,000
Yep.

442
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,000
While I'm at work, anywhere I go.

443
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:47,000
And this morning show I have always loved.

444
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:50,000
It's called The Morning Shags.

445
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:51,000
Mm hmm.

446
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,000
S-H-A-G-S.

447
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:57,000
And the guy sounds like a younger guy, too.

448
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:00,000
He gets it.

449
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:07,000
Yeah, him and Trevor, they're in their, I would say, late 30s, early 40s.

450
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:09,000
Trevor is his co-host.

451
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:11,000
Mm hmm.

452
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:16,000
And honestly, it's a damn good radio station, too, man.

453
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,000
They're actually pretty funny.

454
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,000
Yeah, they are.

455
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,000
They don't have a lot of bits.

456
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:29,000
I know they don't have the bits like we have and stuff or like Bubba has and stuff like that.

457
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:34,000
But it is very entertaining and funny, them just being themselves.

458
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,000
They pull it out in personality.

459
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:37,000
Yeah, yeah.

460
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:41,000
And we love the show because we have our choice of the work truck.

461
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:45,000
I've listened to them for a long time, but then, you know.

462
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,000
In the work van, we could listen to satellite or TuneIn or anything.

463
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:52,000
And at first, we was listening to all the above, satellite and TuneIn and everything.

464
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:58,000
And then one morning, my phone was being charged in the work van.

465
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,000
And I couldn't have it on.

466
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:03,000
I needed to charge as much as I could before I went into work, right?

467
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:05,000
And he just turns on that station.

468
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:07,000
We're like, shit, this is pretty good.

469
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:11,000
So the next morning, we started listening to it, and then we just started listening to it after that.

470
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,000
So anyhow, yeah, that's a great show.

471
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:25,000
And for those, just so everybody knows, 96.7 KSTMQ, it's a classic rock station.

472
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:28,000
But they play everything.

473
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:32,000
You do not hear repeat in a day.

474
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:33,000
No.

475
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:43,000
Just today, I went from listening to Turn the Page by Bob Seeger, the original, the slower one.

476
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:44,000
Uh-huh.

477
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:48,000
To For Whom the Bell Tolls.

478
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,000
They...

479
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:55,000
I mean, that's how much of a variation they have in music.

480
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,000
And I love them.

481
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:59,000
Yeah, they're pretty good.

482
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:05,000
I like them better than 101 The Fox, honestly.

483
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,000
Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying.

484
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:10,000
Their variation in music is just...

485
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:13,000
Something interesting at The Fox, though.

486
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:14,000
Okay?

487
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:16,000
You know, Slacker had leukemia.

488
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:17,000
Okay?

489
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,000
Yes, yeah.

490
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:19,000
How's he doing?

491
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:20,000
I haven't worked with him.

492
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:25,000
He's back on the air, but they put him to afternoons, and they kept Sparks on in the morning, who was filling in for him.

493
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:29,000
He used to be on the afternoon show.

494
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,000
Okay, well, I could listen to him then.

495
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,000
I could listen to him when I heard.

496
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:34,000
Yeah, you could.

497
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:38,000
So anyhow, Slacker, they put him on in the afternoons and didn't put him on in the morning.

498
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:44,000
I don't know if that has something to do with his treatments or something, maybe, but I thought that was interesting that they did it like that.

499
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,000
That could be.

500
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:47,000
Yeah.

501
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,000
Well, it's good to see he's back.

502
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:53,000
Yeah, it is. It's very good. I'm glad he's back. He's a good guy, you know.

503
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:58,000
Okay, hey, let's go ahead and go into the story here, Rob.

504
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:05,000
Members of an International Space Station crew said astronaut Frank Rubio has now been cleared of allegations

505
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:10,000
he ate the one of the first tomatoes harvested in space.

506
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,000
Everybody thought he'd done it.

507
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:15,000
They harvested tomato.

508
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:16,000
Yeah.

509
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:24,000
NASA astronaut Jasmine Mongbaeyi said during a live streamed event celebrating the 25th anniversary of the station,

510
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:32,000
and the remains of the tiny tomato that had been found eight months after being misplaced by Rubio.

511
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:38,000
Our good friend, Frank Rubio, who headed home already, has been blamed for quite a while for eating the tomato,

512
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:43,000
but we can exonerate him. We found the tomato, Mongbaeyi said.

513
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:52,000
Rubio, who returned to Earth in September, had been the target of joking accusations for a month that he had eaten the space-grown fruit.

514
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:58,000
I spent so many hours looking for that thing, Rubio said, during a September ISS live stream.

515
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:06,000
I'm sure the decimated tomato will show up at some point and vindicate me years in the future.

516
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:13,000
And it did. The astronauts did not reveal where the tomato was found or what its condition was,

517
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:19,000
but Rubio had earlier predicted it would be in a state of advanced decay due to the humidity aboard the station,

518
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:26,000
and he was right. And now everybody knows that Rubio did not eat the space fruit.

519
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:29,000
So there you go. Isn't that awesome?

520
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:33,000
And you heard it first on two douchebags and a microphone.

521
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:35,000
Rubio did not eat the space tomato.

522
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:38,000
You have not read that anywhere else.

523
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,000
I did some digging on that one.

524
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:44,000
Oh wow, you did some digging on that one, buddy.

525
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:53,000
That was awesome though, man. When I saw that, I'm like, that's our story right there.

526
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:59,000
Another little story I want to get to here. In-N-Out Burger is expanding into yet another state.

527
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:04,000
The Southern California-based fast food chain, which recently celebrated its 75th anniversary,

528
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:11,000
announced on social media Tuesday that it plans to open multiple locations in New Mexico by 2027.

529
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:16,000
We're excited to share that we will be fully in the four corners.

530
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:21,000
In-N-Out's president and owner, Lindsay Snyder, said on Instagram and Facebook,

531
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:30,000
we can't wait to have Smiling Associates serving customer quality burgers, fries and shakes in such a unique, beautiful state.

532
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,000
So that's cool.

533
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:35,000
And then I got another little story I want to get to here, Rob.

534
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:39,000
And then if you've got something you want to go into, you're more than welcome to.

535
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:46,000
Life at Sea Cruises, a three-year cruise scheduled to set sail this month, has officially been canceled.

536
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:53,000
Passengers who signed up for the headline-making voyage, which was originally due to depart from Istanbul, Turkey,

537
00:36:53,000 --> 00:37:00,000
on November 1st and visit seven continents, 135 countries and 375 ports,

538
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:05,000
received news of its cancellation on November 17th, CNN reported.

539
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:09,000
According to the outlet, the cruise was postponed to November 11th

540
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:15,000
and relocated from Istanbul to Amsterdam shortly after its original November 1st departure date.

541
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:19,000
It was then pushed back again, this time to November 30th.

542
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:25,000
Finally, less than two weeks before its third and final departure date, the voyage was canceled altogether.

543
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:29,000
Life at Sea did not immediately respond to people's requests for comment.

544
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:36,000
On November 17th, Life at Sea revealed, and this is Royal Caribbean that sponsored this,

545
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:44,000
Life at Sea revealed to passengers that the inaugural cruise was canceled and that it had no ship, CNN reported.

546
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:47,000
They couldn't find a ship to do this.

547
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:49,000
That's a bad thing.

548
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:50,000
Yeah it is.

549
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:53,000
Don't you have to have one of them?

550
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:57,000
Yeah, you have to have a ship to have a cruise, that's for sure.

551
00:37:57,000 --> 00:38:00,000
How are they going to do them all on rowboats?

552
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:05,000
I don't know what their plan was, but it wasn't very well thought out of, was it?

553
00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:14,000
The company also vowed to refund those who signed up for the cruise, whose cost ranged from $29,999 a year

554
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:22,000
for a standard interior cabin all the way up to $109,000 per year for a luxurious suite with a large balcony.

555
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:24,000
Holy shit!

556
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:26,000
Yeah, well...

557
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:29,000
Is there $9,000 a year?

558
00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:38,000
Rob, okay, anyone that can go on a three-year cruise is independently wealthy, right?

559
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:41,000
Wow!

560
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:42,000
Right?

561
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:48,000
$109,000 probably means nothing to most of the people that would have been on that ship.

562
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:57,000
The only way I could go on a three-year cruise is if I had a wealthy family member pass away.

563
00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:01,000
And I don't know of any.

564
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:12,000
Well, I had one that he was an oil tycoon in Oklahoma, but unfortunately all these years I didn't know we were even related.

565
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:18,000
So, I've come to find out we were. I'm like, now I'm kicking my ass.

566
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:19,000
Damn it!

567
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:20,000
I could have been in the oil business.

568
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:23,000
You could have been on a three-year cruise right now, Rob.

569
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:27,000
Oh no, wait, wait, wait, no minnow is canceled. Forget it.

570
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:32,000
I don't even think I could do a three-year cruise. I think I would get bored with that.

571
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:35,000
Oh no, yeah, that would be too much.

572
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:42,000
Yeah, I would have to have all the equipment on there to do two douchebags and a microphone.

573
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,000
Oh yeah, definitely.

574
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:50,000
Which I am going to try to do, by the way, on this cruise coming up early February.

575
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:55,000
I've got all the equipment to do a remote. I'm going to try to do it.

576
00:39:55,000 --> 00:40:01,000
Yeah, I won't have to schedule around your Wi-Fi and everything.

577
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:07,000
Okay, I have constant Wi-Fi on the ship. And it's fine, it's good.

578
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,000
Oh, on the ship, okay.

579
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:18,000
Yeah, it's not a big deal. I can hook onto the Wi-Fi and be fine. I can make a phone call through Wi-Fi. I did it. I called in with Topher.

580
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:21,000
Yeah, like you did with Topher that one time.

581
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:26,000
Yeah, so I've got to figure out a little bit more logistics, but I do think I can do it.

582
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:32,000
That will be interesting, actually, the actual podcast coming from the ship.

583
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:39,000
And I can post it, like, actually, probably a half hour after we record it.

584
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:43,000
And you can send me pictures on Facebook.

585
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:44,000
Exactly.

586
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:48,000
I want to say, everybody, I need feedback about the Facebook.

587
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:56,000
I am not, the only people I'm seeing on it are people on my friends list.

588
00:40:56,000 --> 00:41:02,000
Oh, okay, okay. Here's something else I got to. Jeff.

589
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:10,000
I need my son's time to sit down and help me go through it and make sure everybody can reach it.

590
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:13,000
Yeah, because he'll have to come to the jam.

591
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:18,000
I just want to know if anybody, and Mark, you're on my friends list, so you can help me.

592
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:21,000
No, I know, I know.

593
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:30,000
So I need our listeners. If you've checked out our Facebook page, Two Deuce Bags on My Phone, let me know what you're seeing, please.

594
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:31,000
Absolutely.

595
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:33,000
So I can correct it.

596
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:42,000
I got a third email from Jeff from All Star Powder Coating in Springdale,

597
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,000
Springdale, maybe Arkansas or something like that.

598
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,000
I'll have to look, but I forgot.

599
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:57,000
He sent me like three emails, and he wants to give Jeff from All Star Powder Coating one of the first smack in the balls.

600
00:41:57,000 --> 00:42:07,000
And since you and I have 30, he wants us to administer one of them to Jeff from All Star Powder Coating.

601
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:09,000
And you want us to do this?

602
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:15,000
I forgot the guy's name. He works in the same place, and he wanted to nominate his buddy Jeff.

603
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:18,000
And I think it's Springdale, Arkansas. I'll have to look and find out.

604
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,000
I thought it was Springdale.

605
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:28,000
Well, when you're bringing up, let's read it, spike in your head so you get my load.

606
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:30,000
Okay. Anyhow, I think it's Jeff.

607
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:33,000
I just don't want two guys that know each other.

608
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:35,000
Yeah, so.

609
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:39,000
I could do that with somebody I work with, you know.

610
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:42,000
Yeah, I mean, if we can like give out ones, I mean, that's fine.

611
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,000
I mean, you know, I mean.

612
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:47,000
Yeah, yeah. I want to read it, but you got to say about it.

613
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:50,000
As of right now, we have 33 smack in the balls.

614
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:53,000
And I mean, we do need to start giving them out.

615
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:55,000
I want to make sure it's worthy.

616
00:42:55,000 --> 00:43:02,000
Yes, yes, I do too. So anyhow, I'll get the email, and we'll go over.

617
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,000
Yeah, that'll be on the next email reading.

618
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,000
So and this is like the third one he sent me.

619
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:09,000
So I'm like, all right, I'll have to acknowledge the guy and let him know,

620
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:12,000
hey, we're working on smacking your buddy in the balls.

621
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:13,000
We're working on it. Okay.

622
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:16,000
But like everything, there has to be a system.

623
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:17,000
We have to do it right.

624
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:21,000
We can't just like willy nilly smack him in the balls for the fuck of it.

625
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,000
We got to make sure he's deserving.

626
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:24,000
We got to make sure you are you.

627
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:26,000
We got to make sure he is him.

628
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:30,000
And then we will administer the smack in the balls.

629
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:32,000
Right.

630
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:39,000
All right. Rob, do you want to take a break and then come back with something you want to talk about?

631
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:40,000
Yeah, let's do that.

632
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:47,000
All right. We'll be right back.

633
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:50,000
Two douchebags and a microphone says,

634
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:55,000
you ever dream about eating chocolate pudding and wake up with a spoon in your ass?

635
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:57,000
Just asking.

636
00:43:57,000 --> 00:44:03,000
A lot of podcasts just come from a can here at two douchebags and a microphone.

637
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:07,000
We are our own podcast.

638
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:10,000
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

639
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:13,000
It's strange insults from an alien.

640
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,000
Real hilarity.

641
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:20,000
You're as useful as a pilot with a fist.

642
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:23,000
Hey, look, I think we found land.

643
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:25,000
Oh my God, I think we're safe.

644
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:33,000
Oh, no, it's the island of horrible jokes.

645
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:36,000
What did the coach say to the vending machine?

646
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:44,000
Give me my quarterback.

647
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:47,000
Hello, this is Satan.

648
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:52,000
You might know me from my pet name, Inflation.

649
00:44:52,000 --> 00:45:03,000
I'm here to tell you that there's no better way to relax than listening to two douchebags and a microphone by a nice warm fire at night.

650
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:08,000
I sit there and I reflect on all the souls I burned that day.

651
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:13,000
Enjoy.

652
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:16,000
Two douchebags and a microphone, raw and uncensored.

653
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:18,000
See behind the smoke show.

654
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:21,000
Watch as the douchebags get stung by a stalk of bees.

655
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:24,000
Enjoy one of many coffee houses ordering our heroes out.

656
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:30,000
Watch Mark revisit Clinton, Missouri to claim his innocence for all the man shitter accusations.

657
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:35,000
Act now and get both high quality DVD sets and a free douchebag calendar.

658
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:38,000
Mark off today with a douchebag looking at you.

659
00:45:38,000 --> 00:46:06,000
Supplies are limited, so act now.

660
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:10,000
Alright, this is two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark.

661
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,000
And I'm Rob.

662
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:15,000
Rob, you have something you want to get into?

663
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:19,000
Yeah, I got a story of the music world for you.

664
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:22,000
Alright, sounds good.

665
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:25,000
You remember the band The Kinks?

666
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:27,000
Oh yes I do.

667
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:33,000
Alright, alright. I'm sure quite a few of our families do too.

668
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:36,000
Yeah, let's face it.

669
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:46,000
People that know classic rock also know The Kinks because they were in there, they were just more punk, but they were in the classic rock realm. So yes.

670
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:54,000
And in the 80s, 90s, yeah in the 80s they definitely hit the top 40.

671
00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:59,000
That would come dancing or something like that. Anyhow, yeah.

672
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:10,000
The Kinks split in 1997 after more than three decades together due to tensions among the bandmates.

673
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:24,000
The group consisting of Ray Davies, Dave Davies, yes they were brothers, Pete Clough, Pete Clough and Mick Avery

674
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:31,000
came together in the early 1960s and were easily one of the most influential bands of their time.

675
00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:41,000
Thankfully they are set to bury the 20 year rift and mark the reunion with a new Kinks album.

676
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:44,000
That is cool.

677
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:59,000
The trouble is the two remaining members, my brother and Mick, which never got along very well, the band's front man Ray recently revealed.

678
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:08,000
But I've made that work in the studio and it's fired me up to make them play harder with fire.

679
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:10,000
Cool.

680
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:14,000
So be watching for a new Kinks album.

681
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:18,000
I will be. I'm a fan of theirs. I'm a fan of theirs.

682
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:21,000
Yeah, I am too.

683
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:26,000
Yeah, I'm interested to hear what their music is going to sound like.

684
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:33,000
Yeah, this many years later. Yeah, it's going to be good. It's going to be good.

685
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:45,000
Well, I believe that Ray Davies was accredited to figuring out distortion with the distortion pedals and all that.

686
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:51,000
I'm not for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was Ray Davies. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, very cool.

687
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:54,000
He was part of that.

688
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:59,000
I'm definitely going to check out the album and hopefully they tour because I would like to see them.

689
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:05,000
If there's someone on my list, I would love to see.

690
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:16,000
You know, there's a lot of really neat little new gifts for the 2023 Christmas season, right?

691
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:19,000
Yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, I have...

692
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:21,000
That happens every Christmas season.

693
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:27,000
Yeah, well, I have some of them that the most interesting ones I have. I'll put it like that.

694
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:33,000
And this is the new Christmas gifts that are, you know, that people want.

695
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:38,000
You know, what the flavor of the year is or whatever, the new neat little gadgetry and all that.

696
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:42,000
This is them of the 2023 season. Okay.

697
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:49,000
One of the first ones is an ugly Christmas sweater with a knitted pouch on the front of it for a wine bottle storage.

698
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:51,000
It's really cool.

699
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:57,000
It's the ugliest sweater you've ever seen with a knitted pouch in the shape of a wine bottle.

700
00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:01,000
And they showed the guy, you know, he put it in the wine bottle in there.

701
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:08,000
You simply walk around with it and you got your wine bottle and you got your ugly sweater for the Christmas party.

702
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:10,000
You're all set to go.

703
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:16,000
That's more of a gag gift, but it's still, it's cool.

704
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:22,000
Next one. Spicy lip balms influenced by Indian food.

705
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:26,000
So it has a lot of curry taste, I guess. That's not for me.

706
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:28,000
Sign me up for some.

707
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,000
You like that? Okay.

708
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:32,000
Oh, yeah.

709
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:40,000
Well, that is one of the new trendy gifts that's going around this year is that.

710
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:46,000
Another one that they did is a sexy plus size Christmas elf costume.

711
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:50,000
I guess before they were all like little small things.

712
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:56,000
Well, this year they want to include the healthier ladies and they look really cool.

713
00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:58,000
They're really cool.

714
00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:02,000
Elf outfits that really look good on bigger women.

715
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:06,000
Hey, hey, I do not have a problem with that.

716
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:08,000
I don't have a problem with that either.

717
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:12,000
I mean, we all love Rosie, right? A whole lot of Rosie. She's great.

718
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:15,000
Right. Yep. Yep. That's right.

719
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:18,000
So Rosie, not O'Donnell.

720
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:21,000
Girls make the rockin world go around.

721
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:24,000
That's right. Yes. And Freddie Mercury, a gay guy sang about that.

722
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:26,000
So you know what? I mean.

723
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's got to be true.

724
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:29,000
It's got to be true. Yeah.

725
00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:33,000
If he was a gay man compelled to sing about fat bottom girls,

726
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:38,000
then I'm going to say that that bottom girls are the shit, right?

727
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:41,000
It piqued my interest and that's why. Yeah.

728
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:45,000
Yeah. Yep. Piqued with a Q. Piqued.

729
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:49,000
I always do that now because you know that they spell it differently with a Q.

730
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:53,000
And I always do that to be a dick. That's piqued with a Q, guys. Anyhow.

731
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:55,000
All right. I guess that's just me.

732
00:51:55,000 --> 00:52:00,000
That's just me that gives a fuck about that, I guess. OK.

733
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:03,000
A blue reindeer Tusi.

734
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:10,000
This is a blue reindeer that is two pajamas in a one piece sewn into one.

735
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:18,000
So it's two pajamas, two legs, two arms, two holes for your head.

736
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:21,000
And the inside arms are inside.

737
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:24,000
Your two inside arms are inside the Tusi.

738
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:28,000
But your outside arms, your arm on the outside of you,

739
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:31,000
you know, one to the left, one to the right, depending on who's on what side,

740
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:36,000
is the only arms exposed and you have two legs.

741
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:39,000
It's pretty interesting looking.

742
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:41,000
And that is more of a gimmick.

743
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:44,000
Like, you know, someone's like, hey, man, these two are in love.

744
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:47,000
Let's get him a two piece, one piece deal.

745
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:49,000
And it's a blue reindeer and it's cool.

746
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:51,000
It has little antlers on it and all that shit.

747
00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:55,000
Each one of them has a little hoodie with antlers on it that you wear.

748
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:59,000
So next one, I love this one, Rob.

749
00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:01,000
We could use one of these.

750
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:08,000
A beer holder toilet paper dispenser.

751
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:11,000
Why had I thought about that?

752
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:13,000
Why would you use the bathroom counter?

753
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:15,000
I know, but this thing is cool.

754
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:17,000
Look it up when you get a chance, Rob.

755
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:22,000
It is a stainless steel, beautiful toilet paper holder dispenser

756
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:27,000
with a built in can holder on the top out of stainless steel.

757
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:32,000
You can shine it up really good with some All Shine or Sheen or whatever.

758
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:38,000
You can like make it look beautiful and brand new and all, you know,

759
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:40,000
all pretty in the light and everything.

760
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:42,000
And you put your beer can right in the middle of that.

761
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:44,000
And then you got your shit paper.

762
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:47,000
Don't get better, Rob. Don't get better.

763
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:50,000
No, man, that'd be awesome.

764
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:52,000
Yeah, look it up when you get a chance.

765
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:56,000
I mean, it is cool. It's really cool, Rob.

766
00:53:56,000 --> 00:54:02,000
Next one, not so much for me, but I could see some people could really like this.

767
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:08,000
Smoked trout brandy.

768
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:09,000
Not for me.

769
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:11,000
OK, OK, OK.

770
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:15,000
Now in the right circumstances, yeah.

771
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:18,000
Yeah, yeah, well, I...

772
00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:23,000
You're camping out next to the river.

773
00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:26,000
And you know, you've been out fishing.

774
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:29,000
Oh, that'd be awesome.

775
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:32,000
A smoked trout brandy to finish in the evening.

776
00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:36,000
You know what? I think I could even stand seafood just for that.

777
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:41,000
That actually, Rob, that makes a lot of fucking sense what you just said.

778
00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:45,000
Yeah. Well, I grew up trout fishing.

779
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:47,000
Oh, that's right. Yep.

780
00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:49,000
Down at Taney Como.

781
00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:57,000
As you know, after a day of trout fishing, you sit back after you done ate that fresh caught trout.

782
00:54:57,000 --> 00:55:02,000
Sittin' in a little trout brandy. Oh, that'd be awesome.

783
00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:05,000
OK, Rob, I can't argue with that. That does sound good.

784
00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:08,000
Being on the Niagara River, you ever been there trout fishing?

785
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:10,000
No, no, this is down Taney Como.

786
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:17,000
I know Taney Como. Yeah, that's the actual Taney Como Lake near Branson Old Downtown that comes...

787
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:19,000
And it comes around... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

788
00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:22,000
Before they built all the new stuff down.

789
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:27,000
Yeah, yeah, and then Table Rock is actually kind of an extension of Taney Como,

790
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:31,000
where the White River comes in from Arkansas.

791
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:33,000
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

792
00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:39,000
Or is that Arkansas? No, actually it's Oklahoma. Comes in from Oklahoma, I believe.

793
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:44,000
But anyhow, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I think it is Oklahoma.

794
00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:49,000
It is Oklahoma, yeah. So anyhow, yeah, all that, even Bull Shoals is kind of the same.

795
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:53,000
It's all the same. It's kind of like Truman Lake and Lake of those arcs.

796
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:59,000
It's the same body of water. It's just different arms with different rivers that tribute to it.

797
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:04,000
But the thing is, the further south you go, the clearer the water is.

798
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:09,000
Yeah, Taney Como is a beautiful, clear lake. It is.

799
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:14,000
There's a spot down... You know Kimberling City.

800
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:16,000
Yeah, I love Kimberling City. I used to stay there.

801
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:18,000
Is that the Kimberling City Bridge? Yes.

802
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:21,000
You go down to... That's Table Rock there.

803
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:23,000
That's the bridge. That's not Taney Como, right?

804
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:26,000
And there's that little parking area down below.

805
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:28,000
There's a beach there, too. Yes.

806
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:31,000
You could see eight foot deep... Yes.

807
00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:33,000
...anywhere in that lake.

808
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:36,000
People specifically go to that on the Lake of Fish.

809
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:38,000
You're lucky to see six inches.

810
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:43,000
Yeah, no, this is mud up here. It's all mud up here.

811
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:48,000
That part of Table Rock Lake is immaculate. It is beautiful.

812
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:55,000
So, yeah, I do know what you're talking about because I used to stay at those condos right there to the north.

813
00:56:55,000 --> 00:57:00,000
That might be where I retired to. I might go back down there and retire.

814
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:04,000
So that's the 13 Highway Bridge, right?

815
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:06,000
Yeah. Yeah.

816
00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:08,000
Going from Green Spring down to...

817
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:13,000
Yeah, if you're going down... If you're going south towards Arkansas.

818
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:18,000
I stayed there at Table Rock Inn.

819
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:20,000
Like you're going to Lampe.

820
00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:22,000
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, like you're going to Lampe.

821
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:24,000
Yeah, we talked about the amphitheater.

822
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:26,000
I love amphitheater, yep.

823
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:31,000
Now it's Black Oak Amphitheater and it's finally back open. It was closed for a couple of years.

824
00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:41,000
Yeah, see, when I lived down there back in late 2001, 2002...

825
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:43,000
Mm-hmm.

826
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:45,000
No, it was 2002 going into...

827
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:49,000
Was it still Swiss Villa or was it Black Oak?

828
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:53,000
No, it was Black Oak, but it was shut down.

829
00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:56,000
Yeah, it's been on and off for years now.

830
00:57:56,000 --> 00:58:02,000
But I've kept up with it because I'd love to go see a show there.

831
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:04,000
It is a great place.

832
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:08,000
We drove around down in there. Yeah, I'd love to go see a show.

833
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:13,000
That's where I told my famous story, Black Oak Amphitheater. It was Swiss Villa at the time.

834
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:16,000
I saw Ozzie and Alice in Chains.

835
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:22,000
And they have the one section there that seats that you pay for a little bit more for your seat and you have your own seat assigned to you.

836
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:27,000
Well, up above there's a 50-foot rock cliff there. They changed that. They don't have that anymore.

837
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:33,000
But back then they did the 50-foot rock cliff and then that was lawn up there, but it was way up there.

838
00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:39,000
And I told you the first fucking... And look, I say this endearingly. You can call me whatever.

839
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:42,000
I don't care what you call me, Hick, or what. I don't care.

840
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:49,000
Okay, this first hill jack come running off, jumping off that motherfucker, and he jumped on the seats and ran off into the crowd.

841
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:54,000
The second one made it too. And then like the third one like fucking broke his hip or something.

842
00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:57,000
Then the fourth one like broke his leg almost in half.

843
00:58:57,000 --> 00:59:03,000
Another one was rolling on the ground screaming. And then another guy jumped off and he fucking made it into the crowd.

844
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:14,000
It was insane. I could hardly watch Alice in Chains play because those guys were so insane jumping from the lawn to the seats.

845
00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:19,000
And like half of them didn't make it. Half of them broke something and was in an ambulance.

846
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:21,000
I can explain that, Bart.

847
00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:22,000
Okay, please do.

848
00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:24,000
From living down there.

849
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:25,000
Okay.

850
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:26,000
I can explain that.

851
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:27,000
Please do.

852
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:31,000
Think about the acts you get around Branson.

853
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:35,000
Mm-hmm. Okay.

854
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:41,000
How many times do you hear about Alice in Chains playing live in Branson?

855
00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:43,000
Never.

856
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:46,000
Well, in Aussie, too.

857
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:49,000
It's retired acts.

858
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:54,000
Yes. Well, I did see Skinnerd down there. I saw Skinnerd at Black Oak.

859
00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:57,000
And you do have a younger crowd.

860
00:59:57,000 --> 01:00:03,000
The younger crowd was going nuts. And this was probably early 2000s.

861
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:05,000
You've got to watch out for them.

862
01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:11,000
No, no, no. This was actually, let's see, that was part of the No More Tours, the first one.

863
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:16,000
It was probably like 95, maybe 96. This was a long time ago when this happened.

864
01:00:16,000 --> 01:00:22,000
And the theater looks completely different now. The stage is on the other side and to the left a little bit.

865
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:25,000
The way of living is still the same down there.

866
01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:32,000
Yeah, you're right. But it was interesting to see these people. I mean, half of them made it, if not more.

867
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:36,000
Then the other ones like hit wrong and fucking almost broke their leg off.

868
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:43,000
One guy looked like he wasn't going to be walking for a long time. I mean, you know, so.

869
01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:49,000
Anyhow, it was very cool. Aussie came up in a houseboat back behind the stage.

870
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:53,000
We could see him and we're all like flipping off and screaming at him.

871
01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:55,000
That had been awesome.

872
01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:59,000
Yeah, Sherrod and the kids. Sherrod and the kids went one way. Aussie went back behind the stage.

873
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:05,000
Zach was with him. He went back behind the stage to get ready. It was pretty cool.

874
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:06,000
That had been awesome.

875
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:15,000
It was a great show. So anyhow. All right, the next one. Kahula Expresso Martini Fragrance in a Bottle.

876
01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:19,000
It smells like Kahula Expresso Martinis.

877
01:01:19,000 --> 01:01:22,000
Kahula?

878
01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:25,000
Kahula Expresso Martinis.

879
01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:27,000
OK, yeah, I like that. Oh yeah, I love Kahula.

880
01:01:27,000 --> 01:01:32,000
Kahula is a big thing up here now. Kahula Expresso Martinis.

881
01:01:32,000 --> 01:01:33,000
I've always loved Kahula.

882
01:01:33,000 --> 01:01:35,000
Kahula is great.

883
01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:38,000
I love putting a little Kahula in my coffee.

884
01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:40,000
Oh my God, that is so good.

885
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:47,000
You look outside and you see like seven inches of snow and it's about eight degrees outside.

886
01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:49,000
And you don't have to go anywhere. You don't have to go to work.

887
01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:52,000
Let's say it's like a Sunday morning or something.

888
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:57,000
You go break out the Kahula, Kahula and the coffee.

889
01:01:57,000 --> 01:02:00,000
You got the rest of the day planned.

890
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:05,000
Oh no, on snowy mornings it's Bloody Marys.

891
01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:08,000
Oh, I'm not a Bloody Mary guy, so it's Kahula for me.

892
01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:11,000
But either one will work. Bloody Marys, understand?

893
01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:13,000
Yeah, I'll go either one. Yeah.

894
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:15,000
OK.

895
01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:19,000
The next one, a baby carriage slash golf caddy.

896
01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:27,000
It's a baby carriage so you can take your infant on the golf course and a golf caddy over the top of the baby carriage.

897
01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:36,000
It has your clubs, your balls, your gloves, a cigar maybe if you smoke while you're, you know.

898
01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:39,000
I love it. It's a great idea.

899
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:42,000
And to me that's not so much a gimmick.

900
01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:44,000
You got somebody to push it for you.

901
01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:49,000
Yeah, and that's not a gimmick gift right there. I think people could really use that.

902
01:02:49,000 --> 01:02:54,000
Golfers, avid golfers could really use that and have a young infant.

903
01:02:54,000 --> 01:03:00,000
And the mom says, hey, it's your turn to watch Little Junior. I'm going to go to the movies with the girls.

904
01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:02,000
And you're like, sure. OK.

905
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:05,000
You take him to the golf course. He's fine.

906
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:12,000
Put a little sunscreen on him. He's great. He or she is great, good as gold.

907
01:03:12,000 --> 01:03:19,000
Make sure you have some extra formula and a couple of peanut butter crackers. You're fine, right?

908
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:25,000
You really want to wear the old tyke out and impress the old lady?

909
01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:29,000
Oh, he comes home. He's sucking his thumb.

910
01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:34,000
Yes, yeah, that baby will not wake up.

911
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:36,000
Mama will be happy.

912
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:42,000
Maybe you'll get a little one on one mom a time while the little tyke is sleeping too, right?

913
01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:45,000
Maybe you'll work on another little junior, right?

914
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:49,000
Now you're probably going to be wore out for the rest of your life.

915
01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:55,000
You're going to be like, hey, maybe in the morning.

916
01:03:55,000 --> 01:04:02,000
The next one I love too. It is a personal throne. It's a huge throne.

917
01:04:02,000 --> 01:04:08,000
You look tiny sitting in it. It looks like a king's throne.

918
01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:14,000
It retails for about three hundred dollars. And if you have the money, it's kind of worth it.

919
01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:16,000
That would be cool.

920
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:21,000
There was a huge throne in a barn up in New Hampshire.

921
01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:24,000
I would love to have that in a studio.

922
01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:30,000
I was up a few years ago working in Massachusetts and I went and seen some friends of ours that we met on a cruise up in New Hampshire.

923
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:33,000
And they said, hey, we're going to go to this little barn get together.

924
01:04:33,000 --> 01:04:38,000
They go there and they watch football, listen to music and stuff and drink beer and stuff.

925
01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:42,000
And in that barn they had a big throne. It was fucking cooler than hell.

926
01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:46,000
I asked them, what's a big throne for? They said, I don't know.

927
01:04:46,000 --> 01:04:50,000
We sit on it and drink beer. We don't know. It was cool.

928
01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:54,000
So they've been around longer. They had to get that throne from somewhere.

929
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:57,000
Maybe they had it built. I don't know.

930
01:04:57,000 --> 01:05:04,000
The next one is a voice controlled heated vest, which is cooler than hell.

931
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:11,000
It's an actual. Yeah, it's a heated vest. And you can go, all right, go on setting three.

932
01:05:11,000 --> 01:05:15,000
It's on setting three. Shut off. I'm starting to sweat. Yeah.

933
01:05:15,000 --> 01:05:19,000
Starting to sweat. Stop. It stops.

934
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:21,000
That'd be awesome. It would be, wouldn't it? Yeah.

935
01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:26,000
There's some pretty good ones on here. I pick and choose the ones that I thought were the best.

936
01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:29,000
They're just the best. You got to make it a whole bodysuit.

937
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:35,000
Yes, I agree. A onesie. If you can make a vest, you can make a bodysuit.

938
01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:38,000
I think a onesie like a cat in a hat onesie.

939
01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:45,000
Would that be great? I'm sure Jeffy X is working on something.

940
01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:48,000
All right. Well, you know what? Jeffy X will.

941
01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:53,000
He didn't have anything this podcast, but we know Jeffy X will be back.

942
01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:58,000
That is excellent. Jeffy.

943
01:05:58,000 --> 01:06:02,000
You know, Jeffy X was most thrilled about the bat suit and the Sergeant Pepper outfit.

944
01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:12,000
He was like the Steven Pearcy underwear with the pouch sewn on the inside so he could put a couple of socks in there and appear larger.

945
01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:16,000
He said that was fine. He didn't mind that. He said that was great.

946
01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:22,000
But he said nothing will compare to the flying bat suit and the Sergeant Pepper's outfit.

947
01:06:22,000 --> 01:06:24,000
He's like, man, that is the shit.

948
01:06:24,000 --> 01:06:27,000
Jeffy, you got us. We got you.

949
01:06:27,000 --> 01:06:32,000
And I told him I said the bat suit and the Sergeant Pepper outfit.

950
01:06:32,000 --> 01:06:39,000
You could wear the embroidered underwear with a special Steven Pearcy pouch on the inside of the groin area.

951
01:06:39,000 --> 01:06:42,000
I said you can wear them in tandem with those two.

952
01:06:42,000 --> 01:06:52,000
Better yet, Jeffy, when you come down to get this stuff, we have some high cliffs around here.

953
01:06:52,000 --> 01:06:54,000
Oh, he could do the bat. Yeah.

954
01:06:54,000 --> 01:06:59,000
And Mark owes you some legal marijuana.

955
01:06:59,000 --> 01:07:01,000
And hookers.

956
01:07:01,000 --> 01:07:13,000
You could pick that up, swing down here, jump off a cliff in your bat suit, legally hop off your ass in the state of Missouri.

957
01:07:13,000 --> 01:07:16,000
And I also think that we need to give it a few.

958
01:07:16,000 --> 01:07:18,000
And enjoy your good time.

959
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:26,000
You know, we both for the endorsement that we got for kids smacking the balls, I think that we need to give him some of those.

960
01:07:26,000 --> 01:07:33,000
We each have 30 not on him, but for him to use on anybody.

961
01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:37,000
We could each give him like 10 smacking the balls.

962
01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:40,000
You want to give 10 a piece? 10 a piece.

963
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:45,000
We'll also give him 20 smacking the balls for anyone he sees fit.

964
01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:49,000
50 hookers, 20 smacking the balls.

965
01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:51,000
Yeah.

966
01:07:51,000 --> 01:08:06,000
Bat suit, Sergeant Pepper and embroidered underwear with a special Steven Pearcey pouch on the inside of the groin area so he can fill them forward with matching socks.

967
01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:08,000
So Jeffy's got it made.

968
01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:13,000
And then finally, but not least, a Jaeger Meister tap machine.

969
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:21,000
You put the bottle in the top of it, you unscrew it, and then it's got a tap or a Jaeger Meister cool ass tap on it.

970
01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:33,000
And you just open it up, pours the Jaeger Meister, and it even has like a little shelf on it to where you can put ice and keep the Jaeger Meister ice cold while it sits there.

971
01:08:33,000 --> 01:08:34,000
And that is all.

972
01:08:34,000 --> 01:08:36,000
I could see a market for that.

973
01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:37,000
There is a market because.

974
01:08:37,000 --> 01:08:39,000
It ain't my flavor.

975
01:08:39,000 --> 01:08:40,000
But I could see a market for it.

976
01:08:40,000 --> 01:08:43,000
It's on back order, actually.

977
01:08:43,000 --> 01:08:44,000
I could see that.

978
01:08:44,000 --> 01:08:47,000
There's a lot of Jaeger Meister fans out there.

979
01:08:47,000 --> 01:08:50,000
They sold so many of them, it is actually on back order.

980
01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:51,000
I didn't know it was black licorice.

981
01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:52,000
No me neither.

982
01:08:52,000 --> 01:08:56,000
It's not my thing, but it is selling so well that it's on back order.

983
01:08:56,000 --> 01:09:02,000
But anyhow, we are well over the hour mark, so we are hereby probably done with this podcast.

984
01:09:02,000 --> 01:09:12,000
But we thank you all for listening and never fear we'll be back in, let's see, two days to record another one and then three days to record another one.

985
01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:17,000
And then five days to record another one so you guys are in plenty of luck.

986
01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:20,000
Or shit out of luck, depending on how you feel about the show.

987
01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:22,000
Yeah.

988
01:09:22,000 --> 01:09:26,000
By the way, keep listening tomorrow and keeping numbers.

989
01:09:26,000 --> 01:09:28,000
You guys are fucking amazing.

990
01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:29,000
I cannot believe.

991
01:09:29,000 --> 01:09:30,000
Yeah, you guys are amazing.

992
01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:35,000
They beat out half of our home market in Kansas significantly.

993
01:09:35,000 --> 01:09:37,000
Yes, they did.

994
01:09:37,000 --> 01:09:42,000
They didn't beat out Missouri yet, but man, they are on the heels of our home market.

995
01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:43,000
Yeah.

996
01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:49,000
And not to mention Des Moines is a much smaller market than Kansas City, less people to pull from.

997
01:09:49,000 --> 01:09:51,000
Wow, you guys are amazing.

998
01:09:51,000 --> 01:09:52,000
Thank you.

999
01:09:52,000 --> 01:09:53,000
Thank you.

1000
01:09:53,000 --> 01:09:54,000
Thank you.

1001
01:09:54,000 --> 01:09:55,000
Tell your friends.

1002
01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:56,000
You guys obviously love this.

1003
01:09:56,000 --> 01:09:57,000
Thank you, everybody.

1004
01:09:57,000 --> 01:09:58,000
Yeah, everybody.

1005
01:09:58,000 --> 01:09:59,000
Thank you.

1006
01:09:59,000 --> 01:10:00,000
Brussels, Belgium.

1007
01:10:00,000 --> 01:10:05,000
I never knew there was that many English speakers in Brussels.

1008
01:10:05,000 --> 01:10:06,000
Geez.

1009
01:10:06,000 --> 01:10:07,000
Oh, man.

1010
01:10:07,000 --> 01:10:08,000
Yeah.

1011
01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:09,000
Thank you guys.

1012
01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:10,000
Thank you so much.

1013
01:10:10,000 --> 01:10:11,000
We have other markets too.

1014
01:10:11,000 --> 01:10:12,000
Oh, and we cannot forget it.

1015
01:10:12,000 --> 01:10:14,000
We got one in New Zealand now.

1016
01:10:14,000 --> 01:10:16,000
Yes, we do.

1017
01:10:16,000 --> 01:10:18,000
We're very proud of that.

1018
01:10:18,000 --> 01:10:26,000
We have one in Peru, Lima, Peru, which is incredible.

1019
01:10:26,000 --> 01:10:28,000
How the hell did we get someone in Peru?

1020
01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:31,000
I don't understand, but thank you, whoever you are.

1021
01:10:31,000 --> 01:10:32,000
France, Germany.

1022
01:10:32,000 --> 01:10:33,000
France, Germany.

1023
01:10:33,000 --> 01:10:34,000
Japan.

1024
01:10:34,000 --> 01:10:35,000
Yeah, amazing.

1025
01:10:35,000 --> 01:10:37,000
A couple in Japan.

1026
01:10:37,000 --> 01:10:44,000
Oh, by the way, this podcast that I'm sorry, I'm looking to RSS right now.

1027
01:10:44,000 --> 01:10:47,000
Go ahead, say what you're saying that I'm going to go into this.

1028
01:10:47,000 --> 01:10:48,000
Go ahead and finish what you're saying.

1029
01:10:48,000 --> 01:10:53,000
No, I was just saying there's a couple of different ones in Japan, different cities.

1030
01:10:53,000 --> 01:10:56,000
Yes, which I'm very impressed.

1031
01:10:56,000 --> 01:11:07,000
Okay, I've got, did you see the title of the last podcast that I posted this morning or last night?

1032
01:11:07,000 --> 01:11:09,000
Yes, I did.

1033
01:11:09,000 --> 01:11:10,000
Rob runs.

1034
01:11:10,000 --> 01:11:11,000
I listened to it.

1035
01:11:11,000 --> 01:11:12,000
I'm like, what the hell?

1036
01:11:12,000 --> 01:11:15,000
There ain't nothing about that on there.

1037
01:11:15,000 --> 01:11:16,000
I know.

1038
01:11:16,000 --> 01:11:17,000
I know.

1039
01:11:17,000 --> 01:11:19,000
Rob runs Naked Through Town live on air.

1040
01:11:19,000 --> 01:11:23,000
Rob gets BB Pellet in his nutsack and Rob visits the ER.

1041
01:11:23,000 --> 01:11:25,000
How many hits do we get?

1042
01:11:25,000 --> 01:11:31,000
Let me see here.

1043
01:11:31,000 --> 01:11:33,000
We already surpassed the last three.

1044
01:11:33,000 --> 01:11:39,000
I can't really go into numbers like our buddy told us.

1045
01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:42,000
We surpassed the other two in front of it.

1046
01:11:42,000 --> 01:11:50,000
So people like you getting smacked in the balls with a BB, I guess.

1047
01:11:50,000 --> 01:11:53,000
Yeah, I had to do that.

1048
01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:57,000
So anyhow, thank you everybody for listening.

1049
01:11:57,000 --> 01:12:02,000
We will be back in a couple of days with another one that's going to post in a couple of days.

1050
01:12:02,000 --> 01:12:04,000
I'm going to try to post one tonight or tomorrow.

1051
01:12:04,000 --> 01:12:05,000
Keep listening.

1052
01:12:05,000 --> 01:12:06,000
We love you guys.

1053
01:12:06,000 --> 01:12:08,000
We are growing and we love it and thank you.

1054
01:12:08,000 --> 01:12:09,000
Have a good night.

1055
01:12:09,000 --> 01:12:19,000
By the way, our next schedule one, you better have your hairy ass Olympian.

1056
01:12:19,000 --> 01:12:21,000
I'm working on it, Rob.

1057
01:12:21,000 --> 01:12:23,000
Number 10.

1058
01:12:23,000 --> 01:12:24,000
Is that what we got?

1059
01:12:24,000 --> 01:12:25,000
You better be ready.

1060
01:12:25,000 --> 01:12:26,000
I'm bringing it.

1061
01:12:26,000 --> 01:12:28,000
Okay, we're tied.

1062
01:12:28,000 --> 01:12:31,000
You won the first round.

1063
01:12:31,000 --> 01:12:33,000
My guy won the second round.

1064
01:12:33,000 --> 01:12:34,000
I know.

1065
01:12:34,000 --> 01:12:35,000
We're tied up.

1066
01:12:35,000 --> 01:12:36,000
Number three.

1067
01:12:36,000 --> 01:12:38,000
All right, man.

1068
01:12:38,000 --> 01:12:40,000
Okay, I'm ready for it.

1069
01:12:40,000 --> 01:12:44,000
All right, hairy asshole Olympics coming up in a few days.

1070
01:12:44,000 --> 01:12:45,000
Have a good night, everybody.

1071
01:12:45,000 --> 01:12:47,000
Thank you.

1072
01:12:47,000 --> 01:12:48,000
Good night.

1073
01:12:48,000 --> 01:12:51,000
Good night.

1074
01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:54,000
Good night.

1075
01:12:54,000 --> 01:12:57,000
Good night.

1076
01:12:57,000 --> 01:13:00,000
Good night.

1077
01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:02,000
Hey, where did they go?

1078
01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:04,000
Where are the douche bags?

1079
01:13:04,000 --> 01:13:06,000
Oh my God.

1080
01:13:06,000 --> 01:13:08,000
Someone took a dump in the corner.

1081
01:13:08,000 --> 01:13:09,000
Oh, geez.

1082
01:13:09,000 --> 01:13:11,000
Glad they're gone.

1083
01:13:11,000 --> 01:13:13,000
Let's just hope they don't come back.

1084
01:13:13,000 --> 01:13:15,000
Man, that smells.

1085
01:13:15,000 --> 01:13:26,000
Let's just hope they don't come back.