Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas!
You're still a fucking asshole.
Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.
Spam. With Spam Helper tonight. How yummy.
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Now, from the makers of the Who-Mit-My-Asshole Board Game comes the Rob Rad Jigsaw Puzzle.
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Hello everybody, this is Two Douchebags and Microphone. I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
First off, we're going to kick this off to Rob. He has a couple things that he wants to say.
Well, last night, after me and Mark hung up from last night's podcast, about ten minutes later, I got a phone call from my cousin Bart.
Telling me that we had to delay my mom's side of the family's Christmas get together, which is this Saturday.
Oh no.
Her brother, my cousin Jim, his wife went to the hospital in Bolivar yesterday for a stroke.
Okay.
Well, they ended up life-whiting her to Springfield because she has bleeding at the bottom of her brain.
Oh boy.
Down by her brain stem.
It's so close to her brain stem that the doctors will not operate.
Not good.
And to anybody that is in this situation, there is only 10% survival rate.
So I'm calling on all the prayer warriors, anybody that, yeah, my family needs it right now.
And I would appreciate it.
Everybody, if you're the praying type, if you're not the praying type, try it.
Yeah, just a good thought.
Whatever.
Rob, I'm very sorry to hear that and you would definitely get my prayers.
Yeah, that was like literally ten minutes after we hung up last night.
Very sorry.
You know what?
Keep up hope.
Never give up hope.
Keep praying.
We are.
Good.
She will not mind me saying these words at all.
Okay.
She is a strong bitch and she knows it and she will fight through this.
Okay.
She's got to.
She will.
She is strong.
Okay.
All right.
Well, Rob, thank you.
Thank you for that.
I hate going into some other subject.
Thank you for the cold minutes.
Yeah, absolutely.
That's what this life is about.
That's what this life is about and that's part of what this podcast is about.
Making people feel good.
Bringing their spirits up.
Making them happy.
Making people, uplifting people.
You know, we do it with humor.
People do it all different.
Yeah, I understand.
And now I get it even more and more.
Yes.
Okay, Rob.
Well, you got my prayers and I know we have some really decent people listening.
So please take a minute out of your day to pray.
And I'm sure we'll see a miracle, Rob.
I'm sure we will.
So, okay.
Well, I mean, not to poo-poo it or nothing, but we got to get to other stuff in this podcast.
Yeah, let's do this.
Okay.
Let's do this.
All right.
Well, okay.
You know, Wikipedia keeps track of the most looked up phrases and words for every year, right?
Yeah.
Well, 2023, I have a list of the words that are fashionable or whatever.
You know, or whatever.
You know, the most looked up phrases.
Like, they look this up on this is Wikipedia, which is kind of like Google, but a little bit more in depth.
I think everybody knows what it is.
And so, anyhow, English Wikipedia raked in more than 84 billion views this year.
According to numbers released Tuesday by the Wikipedia Foundation, the nonprofit behind the free publicity edited online encyclopedia
and the most popular article about was ChatGPT.
And of course, I mean, to me, that was not a surprise.
Is it a surprise to you, Rob?
No.
I mean, the AI chat bot is the most looked up word, and I know why.
I mean, not only is it like people doing it for their own whatevers, but it is also for people looking on TikTok and stuff.
I mean, it is just everywhere, and I can understand that.
And I mean, you know, so anyhow, since the since its launch just over a year ago, OpenAI's ChatGPT has skyrocketed into the public's consciousness
as the technology makes its way into schools, health care, law and even religious sermons.
The chat bot had also contributed to growing debates about the promise and potential dangers of generative AI.
And this is true.
AI is warning us about AI.
So anyhow, much as which is documented on its Wikipedia page.
Yeah.
You evidently didn't check out that one thing I sent you a while back.
Which one was it?
That was about AI and the book of revelations.
Yeah, I thought you were going to go into it, so I left it alone.
No, no, I just wanted you to listen to it.
I did listen to it. Yeah. No, no, no, no.
That's a scary shit.
I didn't say anything because I thought that was your article.
So I left it alone.
No, no, no, no, no. We're not going to talk about that on here.
Okay, that's cool.
No, no, that's deep, dude. That's deep.
Okay, well, you know, since its launch just over a year ago, OpenAI's ChatGPT has skyrocketed into the public's consciousness
as the technology makes its way into schools, healthcare, and even, I'm repeating this a little bit.
The ChatBOK has also contributed to growing debates about the promise and potential dangers of generative AI,
which is documented in the Wikipedia page.
The second most read article on Wikipedia in 2023 was the annual list of deaths, which sees high traffic year after year,
taking the number four in the number one spots in 2022 and 2021 respectively.
Individual entries for notable figures who were passed away also garnered significant interest this year,
including pages for Matthew Perry and Lisa Marie Presley, which she did die this year, but it was much earlier.
So a lot of people don't realize that she actually died this year.
They kind of contributed to last year, but it was this year that she died.
Meanwhile, the highly anticipated 2023 Cricket World Cup took third place alongside three other cricket related entries
in Wikipedia's top 25 articles this year, including the Indian Premier League at number four,
marking the first time cricket content has been made, has made the list since the Wikipedia Foundation started tracking in 2015.
So there you go. That's a pretty good little insight onto what the public's thinking and what they're looking for and what they, you know.
So I thought that was pretty informative and I thought I'd pass it on.
A little bit different news. McDonald's is trying to find new ways to get into the market, OK?
McDonald's has kind of been hurting because the Millennials and the Gen Z's just aren't as into it as we were.
You know, we were into the Big Mac. We remember the Whopper Big Mac Wars of the 80s.
Then Wendy's came out and they kind of took the crown for a while with their square burger and it was thick and it was like a real burger.
It wasn't this little bitty thing. Burger King did with the... Go ahead.
Back when they actually weighed a quarter pound.
Burger King's Whopper used to be one of the best burgers on the market hands down.
I mean it was a thick patty. It was charbroiled.
Oh my God. Yeah, that was my all time favorite burger of the Whopper.
But it's not the same anymore to me just like the McDonald's hamburger. The quality consistency is not there.
If I went to a Burger King to me, and to me this is my opinion, if I go to 10 Burger Kings in 10 days in a row,
I might get one close to what it used to be. I might.
But it won't be the same portions, the same lettuce, the same pickles, onions, tomatoes. It won't be the same.
But it'll be a lot better than the rest of them. But the rest of them will just be garbage.
In the same way with McDonald's and even Wendy's isn't what it used to be.
I had a completely gross meal at Wendy's which I just... I could not eat. It was so bad.
In my opinion, you have people that don't care, slopping crap on the stuff that they don't give a shit about,
and people that they hate when they come through the drive-thru. It's just pretty much... you can see it on their face.
They're like, oh fuck, look at this fucking asshole ordering this and let's see, it's 10 minutes until closing. Fuck this guy.
So, yeah, you know, so anyhow, so McDonald's is trying to stay ahead of everybody in the market.
So, you know, as it looks ahead, McDonald's is planning new types of locations.
They're called COSMACs, C-O-S-M-C-A-P-S, and other opportunities for small format stores.
Looking at its presence in the U.S. more broadly, our footprint reflects that the population looks like probably 20 to 30 years ago, said Kozinski.
Kozinski is a representative talking about this.
There's a number of places around the U.S. where it's significantly underdeveloped relative to the population.
And what these COSMACs do is they're designed to be a very small store and a very high volume output.
And you know how Subway's broken to the market because they were into every strip mall in America virtually?
Yeah.
This is what they're talking about. You could be walking down a strip mall and, okay, there is a vacuum place, sells vacuum small appliances.
There is a dime store.
There is, I don't know, a music shop.
And then right in the middle of that is a little McDonald's. That's unheard of.
That's what they're trying to do with these COSMACs is make them small, concentrated little places that they can put virtually anywhere.
So I think what they're figuring out is like these places on the corner where they've searched for for years and bought the property.
Some of these properties they knew were going to be developed.
They bought them 20 years ago and simply didn't put a McDonald's there until the population suited what they wanted for volume.
Did you know that?
Wow. No, I did not know that.
Yes. A lot of these corporations, they bought this property 20 years ago.
Like, okay, you know this area, so a lot of people listening to this podcast will not.
Lee's Summit. Lee's Summit has exploded in growth. Odell and Park has exploded in growth.
So they knew these places were primed for development and primed for the explosive, you know, everyone wants to move their type of thing.
You know, that's the place to be. That's the suburb life, you know, the 2.1 kids.
They jump in before everybody else does and they're ready to go.
And they buy the primo property and they hold on to it and hold on to it and hold on to it and then finally, bam, and they simply use it as a write-off.
I think is what happens in my opinion. It looks to me like, oh, we lost money on this investment, you know, and then all of a sudden 20 years later it's like, well, we're going to build a store on there.
Go ahead. What?
Well, and that's the other thing. You buy it that far ahead of time, you buy it a lot cheaper.
Yes. That is the other thing.
Before everything's developed. Yeah, so they're making money on it.
Oh, yeah. And if things go south, if things go south, they just sell the property for 10 times what it was worth and they're still gold.
Yeah.
So, anyhow, yeah, I mean, I think it's the way that they have to go.
And I mean, I think once again, McDonald's is trying to stay ahead of the curb. Look at how many generations McDonald's has expanded.
I mean, just kept going and kept going. It looked like they couldn't get any bigger.
It looked like they couldn't do any more. And they looked like they were dead in the water.
And every time they figured out, they figure out the market and they come back and they're unscathed.
They're still a huge corporation. They still sell billions and billions of burgers a year, you know.
And this is part of their thinking that has developed that, you know, that has brought them the success.
So, anyhow, I've got another story that I want to go into here.
All right. OK, what it is is how to get rid of unwanted guests.
I know this is kind of a weird segue.
This sounds like one of our segments.
It really is. They said it on the news this morning.
And they would come up with the shit we would.
Well, you'll see. OK.
Oh!
OK. OK. So, you know, since it's holiday season, right?
Yeah.
OK. A lot of people have their family over. And a lot of times, family and friends don't know when to leave.
Right. They just linger and linger. Oh, man, I wish they would leave.
What the hell? You know, and people are too nice usually to go, well, you know what?
We leave. You know, just go. I mean, I'm sorry. Love you. But you got to go. OK.
So they just wait and they wait and they wait. And then, you know, and it sucks.
So anyhow, here are some suggestions that some of the top, I guess, psychological, psychologists or whatever come up with.
How to get rid of guests properly. Not the way that we're going to tell them, of course.
Yeah. But OK. One of the best ways is, you know, you're all sitting there yawning and stuff and nobody really gets to get the hint because you're yawning and everything.
They're still sitting there talking. Turn the conversation to the next day.
They say that's a good way because all of a sudden it turns it from today.
You're pretty much what you're saying without saying is, OK, today's over. What's going on tomorrow? Right.
OK, I understand that. I've done that. Yeah, I think we all have. And sometimes that doesn't work. Yeah.
Sometimes it don't. Yeah. The next thing they say that you could do is be honest and ask them to leave.
But, I mean, you know, you got to watch how you do that because some people take it personally and then they're like, you know, we're never coming back, man.
I don't like the way they kicked us out. You know, I've heard that shit before.
And it's like, no, maybe they were just tired and they wanted to go to bed and you wouldn't get the hint.
You know, so yeah. And then for the next year, you got to listen to grandma complain about every time she talks to great Aunt Betty, how you can.
Yes, yes. Yeah. And it's like this undertone for the whole year. Yeah. You know, yeah.
You know Robin, his new wife did. You got to be careful. Yeah, they could. It's like walking on eggshells.
They kicked Bernice out. What? Yeah. Yeah, I got what you mean.
So the next thing is if you have people staying for an extended period of time, you make self time with weekend guests.
Like if they're staying for a few days or whatever, what you do is you go, all right, I got to do this.
And you don't invite anybody like a walk or something. And this is your time.
You know, this is time that you get away from everybody because we all need that.
You can love someone to death and just need to be away from them for a little bit. Right. I do that with my kids.
I think everybody does or has. So, yeah. And that was the best suggestions they have.
So, well, you know, we had to come up with our own. Jeffy X. Jeffy X came up with some new ones that he thought were ones that might have done well.
And like I said, you know, you've embroidered his underwear with the special Steven Pearcey pouch on the front where he can fill in full all he wants.
He's got a lot of things coming. I'm buying him a bunch of hookers and I don't know, cocaine or weed or whatever, whatever he wants.
Well, in the state of Missouri, weed is legal. Yes, yes. But cocaine is not. Just to make that clear.
So, it's probably going to be weed. It'll be weed. It won't be cocaine because I don't believe in doing anything illegal.
So, no, no. So anyhow, and what else were you embroidering, Jeffy X?
Oh, shit. You came up with something. I'm still not even doing my whole wardrobe.
Okay, great. I think you need to make him a Sergeant Pepper outfit. Oh, no, no. It was the flying suit. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah.
I'm going to work on that this weekend. Okay. It's like the suits the guys wear and they fly through the air.
I want him to have a Sergeant Pepper. It's going to have a big X going across the back of it. It's going to be cool.
Oh, he'll love that. He will wear that everywhere. Yes, he will. He is quite fashionable, Jeffy X's, and he would love that.
So, anyhow, I want him to have a Sergeant Pepper outfit. That would be cool. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, with like the little tassels on the shoulders and the wide and the stripes on the pants.
Yeah, he'd look fantastic. Well, we'll see how much spare time I get. I might be able to work on that too.
Well, these are Jeffy X's top suggestions. I don't know if he got these from somewhere or not because he just sent me a blanket email.
He didn't say in 10 minutes they're going to go away or nothing. So I think these are just suggestions from Jeffy X and not actually something that he had to physically steal from somewhere.
Right. Okay. His first suggestion is, is I'm very gassy. You guys really don't want to be here.
I think I'd leave. I like it. Yeah, you'd be like, what? Yeah, I am extremely gassy right now. I just went to the bathroom and it's not going away.
If I were you, I would leave because this room is going to smell horrible and you're going to want to vomit. So if I were you, I would just leave right now. Just give me a fair warning.
And any smart. That's actually pretty respectable. Yeah. Or I mean, you know, you could get some, well, you don't want to do this because this is your home, but you could get some liquid ass.
But then then your whole house would smell like shit. So horrible, horrible shit. So probably not. Or get you a golden lab pup. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. More issues. Oh, no, it's getting better. Just every now and then she still goes in the house. But that dog shit stinks.
That would work, too. Well, Jeffy X's next suggestion is is you say I strip every night at this time. Be right back.
That would be a pretty good little thing. Yeah, you know, so well, they're well, they're, you know, you're going to go to the bathroom to like take off said clothes, right?
And probably put them away that circuit to get the fuck out of there. Right.
And then when you then you can act like a friend and go, what you guys don't want. I don't understand it, man. It's natural.
I don't understand why you guys don't want to see me naked. It really hurts my feelings.
And then you're the victim.
Next one. Better yet, better yet. Don't say nothing. Just start getting naked. Oh, this is my time. Yeah.
Look, if you guys want to be here, this is what happens this time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're after hours now. Yeah.
Yeah. You're on my team. So put up with it, bitch. Yeah. OK. The next one is you can start yodeling uncontrollably really loud.
That would make me leave really quick. Oh, yeah. Who the fuck wants to hear anyone yodel uncontrollably for hours? Oh, yeah.
Yeah. So I think that might be a very stellar suggestion myself.
That brings back nightmares. You can sound like the guy off the Price is Right on the cliff.
The cliffhanger game. Oh, dude, dude.
You just happen to mention the Price is Right. The Price is Right is my next story. Oh, OK. All right.
Well, after we get done with this. Wow. How do you do that, dude?
That is a great segue. So everyone remember I talk about the Price is Right and what's Rob Ragh going to do next?
He's going to have a Price is Right story. Yeah. It's a Price is Right story.
This is why this podcast hits so deep, right? Hard-hitting journalism like that.
And we have not spoken since last night. We had no idea about this.
That's right. I am going to go ahead and sprain a muscle, patting ourselves on the back.
Oh, oh, oh. I'm doing it. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, actually, I'm going to keep doing that. That feels good.
Yeah. I did get a massage today, so I am a little bit limber. So, you know, it is good.
Fuck you. OK, sorry. A very well-earned massage. I'll work with you all day, OK?
Rob, you realize I did that. You realize I did construction for 37, 36, 37 years, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know you did. I sympathize with you. I know. OK, next one.
Grab a socket wrench and threaten them with it. Yeah. I think I'd take that hint, wouldn't you?
Yeah. Come at you with a socket wrench. Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. OK, OK. No problem.
See that door? I am getting ready to go through it. Put down that wrench. Put down that wrench. I am gone. Hands up.
Yeah, yeah. You come at anybody with anything and they will back down real quick.
A socket wrench. I am pretty sure you have been busted with a socket wrench before, right?
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Whether you did it yourself or someone else did it to you, fucking hurts.
No, actually I think it was my dad. Yeah, I remember one time I left a fucking monkey wrench.
It was probably because I am now gone. I left a monkey wrench or a crescent wrench or whatever you want to call it.
The adjustable wrench. I left it in the yard. I was working on my bike and my dad ran it over with a lawn mower.
Oh, shit, dude. It fucked up the blades and I was getting ready to walk in the house.
All of a sudden I get a BAM across the back of my head with that fucking wrench.
I am like, oh, fuck. What the hell? Only I didn't say fuck because I know I have been in more trouble.
And I look at it and it is all chewed up and the mower is over there and he fucking hit it.
I told you to pick that up and I am like, OK, OK, I am sorry.
Good times. Good times. No wonder I am so warped. It is not my fault.
Oh, yeah, yeah. You just said that. I just shot about a couple more memories.
A couple more memories. Yep. And then whenever my dad did that, it brings back terms of endearment.
Because, I mean, it is like, look, he did this because he loved me and didn't want me to be a stupid ass. Right?
Yeah. If he didn't love me, he would be smoking dope with me and trying to be a cool guy.
But because he loved me, he did stuff like that. He made me not like him regularly.
So, anyhow. So, the next one is turn up handsome music really loud. That will do it.
That might be the best suggestion. Here, mmm bop. Ten times.
Oh, that would be awesome.
Oh, yeah. Mmm bop. Da da da. Mmm bop. Da da da. Mmm bop. Da da da. Right? Right?
Am I right or am I right? OK. All right. Next.
No, no, you're right on that. I've unfortunately had to see them in concert with somebody else.
Oh, well. You know what? Let's just move right along. How's that?
Yeah, let's do that. OK.
Next thing you can do is turn on a marathon of Will and Grace and play it really loud.
That would do it. That would do it.
Yeah.
Next thing you can do, and this is all from Jeffy X, our genius, our resident genius.
Yeah, these are good suggestions, Jeffy. Really.
They really are.
Next thing you can do is put a fan in the back of your work boots and aim them at the guests.
That'll do it.
That would work.
That will work. Oh my God. That would work so quick that they would be crying and gagging on their way out
and probably passing out from the stench.
Especially if they're a year or two old.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
Yep.
Yeah, me gagging and me bumboots and all that.
It made me dry-puking in my mouth, even thinking about it.
Yeah.
The next one, you can offer to palm read them and then tell them,
you need to go right now or something horrible will happen to you.
And then if they ask, you hit them in the mouth.
I may like that one the best. The simplicity of it is great.
Oh, that one right there took it, man. That one right there took it.
The next suggestion from Jeffy.
Jeffy definitely has our sense of humor.
Jeffy X is amazing.
And that's why it's getting embroidered Steven Percy underwear.
He's doing everything.
With an I'm really big down here pouch in the front of it to where he can fill and fool all he wants.
I think you're up to getting 40 hookers.
40 or 50. I don't know.
I'm just going to have to keep going until he goes, no moss.
That's it. I can't do anymore.
So that's just the way it's going to happen.
This Christmas is it going to cost me and you our yearly bonuses for the next year?
Oh, shit, man. I've got to pull a loan for my 401k to pay for this shit.
I mean, I don't know how else I'm going to do it.
I mean, I don't know.
Oh, you too?
Yeah.
I thought I was the only one.
No, I got we got to pay Jeffy X back.
He is so good.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
So then the next one is is get old DVDs of family trips and start playing them and narrate them to him.
And this is when we went to Mount Rushmore and Aunt Jenny, she walked up here and then she fell on her ass.
And then a snapping turtle tried to bite her toe.
And this is where little Jimmy, he walked across the creek and he saw that salmon.
Believe me, if they're not falling asleep, they're out that door.
No, no, no, no.
Disagree.
OK, why?
If they won't leave to begin with, they're waiting to watch the movies.
Oh, OK.
Jeffy, everything has been great, but I think I have to agree with Rob Rad on this one.
Yeah, Jeffy.
Jeffy, we love everything you did except that one right there.
But you know what?
Thank you for hanging out and you have not heard the movies and the pictures out yet.
That's what they're waiting for.
Yes.
Yep.
And then finally, I love the number one one and Jeffy X is spot on with this.
Start trying to sell them Amway.
Oh, hell yeah.
That is a great suggestion.
OK, Jeffy, you just redeemed yourself.
He redeemed himself right off of the bat there.
Thank you, Jeffy X.
Let's take our first break that we're way late on and we'll be right back.
Because everyone needs to hear how Satan listens to this while burning souls and they need to hear Island of Horrible Jokes and Deep Thoughts would mark.
And then the new segments coming up with Rob Rad.
Right?
Yeah.
And they need to hear about my jigsaw puzzle.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've done.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
Where Rob is in a loin cloth in the Amazon rainforest with his arms up in the air screaming, screaming.
I was having a moment.
Yes.
It is the water glistening off of his chest and abs.
Yes.
In a loin cloth.
It's it's just it's breathtaking.
Breathtaking.
All right.
We'll be right back right after this.
Oh, Lord, that man just saw a puppy in half.
Hey there.
Don't worry.
I have a clown nose.
Oh, no, that drunk guy just hit my child.
It is OK.
I have a clown nose.
I think he's going to give me a big five.
So, we have a clown nose.
Clown nose.
Just put one on and you can do anything.
Want to run for office?
Murder people in public?
Just grab a clown nose and bam!
Everyone laughs.
Clown noses are sold at gag stores online and pedophile conventions.
Grab one today and make magic happen.
As much fun as an electric can opener to the scrotum.
Two douche bags and a microphone.
The apocalypse just happened. You don't know what to do. You don't know where to go. But
we can tell you what you can eat.
Garlic mustard could and should be a go-to food during an apocalypse. Garlic mustard
is plentiful everywhere. It is actually an invasive weed, but it can be very delicious
and easily taken from about any pasture. Garlic mustard can be stewed or even pan-fried for
delicious taste. It can also be added to other ingredients, whether it is a salad or any
other type of food to enhance it. Garlic mustard should be a go-to staple during the apocalypse.
Somewhere in the heavens your great-grandma Gertrude is crying because her little Bevo
is listening to this film.
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.
Should I throw away all my socks, then only buy 30 pair of one kind of sock? Will they
eventually not match up? I may never know.
Douchebags and microphone, my name is Mark. And I'm Rob.
Alright, Rob, you got anything you want to get to?
Yeah, I still need to get to my Price is Right story.
The floor is yours.
Okay, and I found this on Do You Remember?
Okay.
The first card Bob Barker gave away on The Price is Right was one of the worst. The Price
is Right holds the record as the longest-running game show in TV history and initially ran
from 1956 to 1965 until its revival in 1972 with new host Bob Barker. The show is known
to put smiles on the participants' faces with high ticket prizes like vacations and
cars, which were not always perfect. The first card Bob gave away was a shitty Vega.
The episode was not up to par despite its appearances on other game shows like Settled
the Century. The Vega had manufacturing issues, including aluminum engine subsequent to melting
high heat. The car also had overheating issues with frequently blown engines, making only
worse by automotive strikes taking place at the debut.
I knew someone that owned a Vega. They were pieces of trash.
They were, but all my friends turned them into hot rods.
Well, yeah, you can do that. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, that's true. And a lot of people
did.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. There's this story, and this is on TikTok, and it's about a lady that bought a pizza
at $7.59 at a local pizza joint, right? And it was a chicken Parmesan pizza. And they
were so pissed off that she ordered one that close to closing that anyhow, they put everything
on it they're supposed to. Only the chicken, they put bone-in chicken wings on top of it.
And she went to TikTok and showed everybody it while she was still in the store and said,
look at what I just got from these guys. It went viral and it had over 300,000 hits the
last I knew. And anyhow, the pizza place, the people in there, I think were all fired.
But they did that as retaliatory because she came in at 8.59 and they close at eight o'clock
or 7.59 and they close at eight o'clock. And they did that on purpose instead of putting
in, you know, chunks of chicken like they're supposed to. They put full bone-in wings on
top of it. And the lady opened up the box right there and then she started filming with
her phone and said, look, this is what these fuckers do when you order a minute till they
close. And she showed like the full chicken wings sitting on top of the pizza. And I thought
that was interesting. Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. I mean, look, I mean, I understand people
getting mad, but I mean, man, we used to know this working at working at restaurants like
the Jackson Jim's, Jack stack was no different. People came in late. You had to treat them
the same. And if you didn't, you were in trouble. Right. Yeah. I mean, that's just the way it
is. Or the people that would linger and you couldn't close till they left, which was more
of a problem. So anyhow, it's just, it's just the nature of the business. And if you don't
like it, you don't work in it, I guess. Right. So, right. Hey, yeah. Yeah. Can I have a look
again? Yes, absolutely. I just went across a story from today that I'm just now hearing
about it. Okay. And this is on the Associated Press. Okay. Norman year, Norman Lear, the
writer, director and producer. It was like a 101 or something. 102. 101, 102, something
like that. Really? 101. Okay. Writer, director, and producer who revolutionized primetime television
that only the Fallen and the Family, and Jefferson and Maude, propelling political and social
turmoil into the once insulated world of TV sitcoms, has died. He was 101. Okay. Since,
yeah, I knew he was really old and I was surprised. I looked at the list of people much younger
than him that he had on his shows that are all dead. Yeah. It's kind of hard to believe
that he was still alive. Lear died Tuesday night in his sleep, slain by family in his
home in Los Angeles. He must have been sick then. Huh? He must have been sick if he was
surrounded by family. Yeah. Wow. Okay. What was it? Just a couple years ago, they were
bringing back, on primetime TV, they would have remakes of these shows, but it was like
live plays. Yes, and I did not like them. I didn't think it was up to par because the
talent wasn't there, in my opinion. Yeah, the talent was, well, also- You'll never get
another Carol O'Connor. They were both too live, you know. Well, there's the other thing
too, but I think of his better talent, I think they would have done a better live, actually,
in my opinion. Yeah. I mean, you'll never find another Carol O'Connor, and I forgot
who- No, it ain't no- I forgot who Edith, what the hell was- Shit. She was just phenomenal.
Oh, you could have been her. You had to be a special person to play that part. Yeah.
I mean, all of that, I mean, it was just groundbreaking, everything that they did, but not only was
it groundbreaking, there was a lot of truth embedded in it, and it was funny. It was really
funny, and it was a really good parody of what was actually going on in America. In
the time, in that time period. You had the conservative Republican dad, and you had the
liberal beatnik son that's married to his precious daughter, and he had long hair, and
he was like, hey, man. Which, by the way, has a new podcast of his own. Oh, I don't like
the guy. I think he's a fucking idiot, but okay. No, it's about who killed JFK. I might
be able to listen to it, but I don't know if I really think he's a credible anything,
but anyhow. Okay, you know what? I might listen to one of them and see what he has to say.
That's what it's called, who killed JFK. Oh, okay. I might just check into that then. Cool.
That's him and sudden doubt. The truth is, is there's so many podcasts out. I really,
I mean, gosh, I really like, I don't know. Yeah, anyhow. To be honest, the main one I
listen to is ours, but then there is another one I listen to a little bit. Oh, okay, what
is it? It's, you just caught me on. I can't think of the name of it all. Oh, well, that's
okay. You know what? I mean, if they want to promote us, we could say their name too,
but whatever. It doesn't matter. Oh, no, they won't. Okay, then let's take our second break
and I'm going to come back with a kiss story. Does that sound okay? Oh, sounds good. Okay,
we'll talk to you guys here in a minute. Next up, Kings of the Heard in Hell. Hurry up.
King Jung Un is playing Santa at the mall again this year. Yay. And now, Deep Thoughts
with Mark. Is a Pop-Tart a ravioli or is it a sandwich? I may never know.
Please enjoy Brick Shithouse Energy Drink responsibly. It's not readily available anywhere,
because of liability issues. Two douchebags and a microphone, says. You ever dream about
eating chocolate pudding and wake up with a spoon in your ass? Just asking. Two douchebags
and a microphone. My name is Mark. And I'm Rob. Okay, like I promised a little bit ago,
I have a kiss story here. And this is about what Paul Stanley considers one of their biggest
screw jobs ever of getting screwed and misled. Doc McGee has revealed how kiss was, in Paul
Stanley's words, screwed over and misled during their appearance on the 2014 Macy's Thanksgiving
Day Parade. Stanley made those comments on Twitter shortly after the nationally televised
event, which found kiss performing on a stripped down float that was a far cry from their usual
bombastic stage presentations. Stanley said we all deserve better, without going into
details about what went wrong. Five years later, their band manager filed, er, he didn't
file, he filled in the missing puzzle pieces during a Q&A session aboard the annual kiss
cruise. The worst thing we did was we played the Macy's Day Parade, McGee said. We were
supposed to be on the Gibson float, which was this huge float, so it was great. It was
just like kiss, well, you know, what kiss is accustomed to, big and elaborate and a huge
stage. Well, the night before we found out that they wanted Paul to play a Gibson guitar,
and he doesn't play Gibson's, he plays Washburn's, and that's what his, you know, that's his
endorsement, is Washburn guitars. So we couldn't go on the float, and they said, oh, okay,
we have another float for you, so they're thinking they're, you know, that the float
is going to be comparable to the Gibson float, right? Well, problem solved, right? Wrong.
So we get there, and the new float is literally like 25 feet long, with two microphones on
it. We looked like, it looked like the shittiest thing on the Macy's Day Parade. When I saw
it, I went, oh, this is how you get fired. That was just a horrible time. Stanley revisited
the incident in a November 2020 tweet, which included the above photos, which if you saw
it, you would be laughing. Anyhow, it went from being surrounded by a hundred baton twirlers
and in kiss makeup and escorts and lights and pyro and fog machines into basically like
a couple of mic stands and just a glorified flatbed truck. Or actually really like a trailer.
Like a trailer that you would almost put mowers on. Yeah. Yeah, so anyhow, and just because
he didn't play a Gibson and he couldn't by contract, he didn't say that in the actual
article, but I know that he endorsed Washburn guitars, because that's one of his famous
guitars. The shattered guitar, I believe, was a Washburn. And anyhow, so that kind of
went awry there. So Rob, do you have something you want to get to?
Actually, I could do a whole show on this. Okay. We're not going there tonight because
I did one last night. Well, let's go ahead and close out the show with one more thing
here and then we'll be done. Okay. A giant tumble... What? What'd you say? I said alright.
Okay. A giant tumbleweed roughly the size of a Volkswagen Beetle was spotted hurdling
its way down a four lane road in California this week. The jaunty brown bundle of brush
was captured on video and posted on Tuesdays X, formerly known as Twitter, where it has
gathered a number of fans who have compared it to a giant hairball, belly-lint Gone Wild.
All the critters from the... from the... the named the, you know, the critters horror show,
1986 sci-fi horror show. Anyhow, it's pretty cool because it is actually bigger than a
Volkswagen and it was just flying down the freeway in the wind in California and it was
really kind of cool looking. So... Oh damn. Yeah. Yep. Sounds cool. Yeah, it was. So anyhow,
we're going to go ahead and wrap this up and we'll probably give you a segment of
something old to come up next, but we're running late tonight. We both had stuff that
we had to get to and Rob had some stuff that he, you know, said at the first set was going
on so it's just kind of the way this nature goes. We're still giving the most of a podcast.
We're about 10 minutes short is all we are. So you'll get like, I don't know, some prank
phone calls or something, you know, something, you know, some ha ha or something. Or maybe
I'll just put all of Island of Horrible jokes and strange insults from an alien in a row.
Well, throw a little sum of Tofer in there. No, that's what I want to do. Yeah, I had
a good talk with Tofer today. Yeah, throw a sum of Tofer. I bought a really nice flying
guitar today. Tofer showed me this neat little guitar shop in Blue Springs and I will show
pictures of it when I get a chance, not tonight, but maybe tomorrow or something. I'll show
some pictures of it. But anyhow, Tofer and I talked for a while. But guess what? I'm going
to figure out three way calling and Tofer wants to call in here and there. Yes. And
here's another thing that happened where we normally broadcast from the mat. The magic
table is gone. I didn't know it, but that was Hope's table. Hope's tables were out there
in front. And that's where we broadcast from was her table. And I didn't know it. So when
she, when she retired and went out of business, her tables are gone and there's nothing in
that commons area now for us to broadcast off of. So we got to find another area at
the city market to do it. But I think I know what we can do. We can bring up our own fold
up table and our own fold up chairs and just makeshift one there. Yeah, we'll figure it
out. Yeah, we'll still get it done. It won't be our magic table, but you know what? It'll
be close. So anyhow, anyhow, Tofer is going to join us from time to time. It's going to
be a three way call and it's going to be three douchebags, but the name stays the same because
we ain't changing it. So, all right, everybody. Thank you very much. Have a great night. Thank
you everybody. Good night.
Hey, where do they go? Where are the douchebags? Oh my God. Someone took a dump in the corner.
Oh jeez. Glad they're gone. Let's just hope they don't come back. Man, that smells.