Live from the historic river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the crystal blue
waters of the Missouri River, it's Two Douchebags and a Microphone Podcast.
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.
How does a butterfly take a dump? It never stops long enough. Maybe it just shits while
lofting. Maybe it shits real quick while chewing flowers.
I may never know.
Hello, this is Satan. You might know me from my pet name, Inflation. I'm here to tell
you that there's no better way to relax than listening to Two Douchebags and Microphone
by a nice warm fire at night. I sit there and I reflect on all the souls I burned that
night. Enjoy.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
You look like you smell like cheese.
Two Douchebags and a Microphone. I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
Hey, welcome everybody. Thank you for joining us tonight.
Okay, we got a new little segment that we're going to start doing more of. And it is, what
is a bigger ass bag? An ass bag is pretty much, you know, worthless fucking waste of
space, you know. And it doesn't necessarily have to be a person. But, you know, what's
a bigger ass bag? This is the NFL edition of What's a Bigger Ass Bag. So, Rob, do you
think we can do this?
You told me about this. I love it already.
I do too. And I also have Topher for the one that I'm pretty sure is going to be a toss-up.
I already sent him a text and he already picked who the winner is. But we will play that out,
okay? So just hang on one minute here and let's, uh, let's, shall we begin the game?
Let's begin.
All right. Like I said, Bigger Ass Bag NFL edition. Baker Mayfield versus Jimmy Garoppolo.
And this is the one that Topher picked for us because I found this very hard to pick.
What do you think, Rob?
I think, I think I gotta go with Jimmy Garoppolo.
Okay. Here is why.
No, no, not Jimmy. Not Jimmy.
Baker.
Baker Mayfield. I wanna go with Baker Mayfield.
That's who me and, uh, and Topher picked. And here's why. Garoppolo has been to a Superbowl.
He helped guide a team to a Superbowl. We beat him in the Superbowl, but he, he did
well enough, uh, to, and he also, uh, helped New England to a Superbowl too. He fell off
this year and has been doing horrible, but I think, you know, maybe age has something
to do with that. Maybe he just didn't, you know, whatever, a variety of reasons.
Get older too.
Yeah.
Get older too.
Yes. So, uh, Baker Mayfield has never done anything like that. The biggest thing was
a divisional game where he, uh, where he'd come up short, but he was close to beating
us, but we, we, uh, won the game and that was a divisional round. So the closest he's
ever been as a divisional round, like Topher put out, he had plenty of chances and has
never done it. You know, at least Garoppolo has guided a team to the Superbowl and he
has been to a couple of Superbowls with New England and they won at least one of them.
He has at least one, maybe two rings. So as big of an ass bag as Garoppolo is now, Mayfield's
a bigger ass bag because he doesn't have that been there, done that like Garoppolo does,
right?
Right. And let me get my reason behind that.
Go ahead.
Baker Mayfield was having a losing year and started making commercials about him living
in the damn stadium.
Rob, that is an excellent point. Yeah. If Mahomes was doing that poorly-
He's in there living in the stadium.
Yeah. If Mahomes was doing that poorly, would you want him doing all these commercials either?
No. You'd be like, dude, do those commercials after you get good, but we don't have to worry
about that. But yeah, I agree with you.
I'm losing you.
Exactly. That's just rubbing in insult like, hey, I'm stealing money. Ha ha ha. So yeah,
that's a very good point, Rob. Okay. That actually is probably an even better point.
So all that together means, oh, and also like I told Topher, his first name's Baker.
Yeah.
So he had a disadvantage from the start. So anyhow, his parents must have not liked him.
And Mayfield, not Barry. Come on.
True. True. All right. The next one in the NFL edition of Bigger Ass Bag, Carolina Panthers
or New England Patriots?
Oh, damn dude.
I know. One had the Patriots have two wins. Carolina has one win. They both are pathetic
and just suck. They're horrible teams. I'm almost tempted to go with the Patriots because
Bill Belichick, in my opinion, should be guiding that team a little bit better than two wins.
Well, okay. Well, I've been doing a lot of reading. This could be his last year there.
Supposedly he already has a team he's going to. They've already talked to him. They already
got to get him.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
And Robert Kraft's going to trade him because you can trade him. And Robert Kraft's already
in agreement to trade Bill Belichick because Kraft wants to start over. He's like, you
know, we want to get a new coach, new blood, new people.
Yeah. Because ever since Brady left, they ain't done shit.
To answer the question of who helped who the most, Brady.
Brady helped them.
Yeah. Yeah.
As much as it pains me to admit it.
Look, I can't, I can't take anything away from Brady. I mean, man, shit, the dudes are
good.
They went to Tampa and dropped in in the fucking Super Bowl.
Yeah. Yeah. And fucking beat it.
He already told Brady as much as it pains me to admit it.
He beat our ass thoroughly. He fucking gave us a bare ass spanking. He gave us a bare
ass spanking all the way around the field and half of the other. So yeah, as much as
I pain, it pains me to say that too. Yeah. Brady. And also while we're on that subject
right there are the Chiefs. They had a pretty good showing today after a slow start, didn't
they?
Honestly, I did not even get to listen to it. I was doing some homework on a major subject
for tonight's podcast.
Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. Well, they won 31 to 17. The offense looked fine. People
were catching the football. So all of these fucking programs like the herd and all those
guys, oh my God, they have an identity crisis. Oh my God. It's over. We dominated Philadelphia.
The only reason we lost to Philadelphia was our own stupid mistakes. We couldn't catch
a football and Travis Kelsey, as good as he is, fumbled in the red zone. If all, if all
those things were not happening and they were catching the football like they would have,
we would have beat their ass. So Nick Serrani, suck my fucking dick, you asshole going around
fucking taunting us. I hope we see you in the Superbowl so we can beat your ass again,
bitch. So eat my ass, you fucking piece of crap. What'd you say?
And just to throw it out there, Kansas City was missing three key offensive players today.
Yeah, that's true. Tony Hardman and who else? Yeah. Tony Hardman and McKinnon. Yeah, McKinnon.
Yeah. Three major players in our offense was out today. Nick Serrani, we're going to come
for your fucking stupid ass and we're going to beat your ass again in the Superbowl. So
lick my ass, you piece of shit. Anyhow. All right. Next.
All I got to say is ditto. Thank you. There we go. Clyde Edwards Allaire
against Mitchell Trubitsky. I am going to have to go with Trubitsky as much as I don't
really like Allaire. He's a, he has never lived up to his potential. He's always been an ass
bag on the team. He's always getting hurt. Allaire did something first.
Well Trubitsky was picked number one overall. Allaire was picked up like number 25 or 26.
And Trubitsky has already been traded to another team and already sucked so bad he didn't start
there either. So that's why I'm going with Trubitsky as much as I don't like Allaire
the way he plays. You got my vote.
All right. Okay. Next one. Brandon Staley or Frank Reich. Brandon Staley is the coach
of the Los Angeles Chargers. With all that talent on the team he can't get them to win.
And Frank Reich is the coach of the Carolina Panthers. They'll run win Carolina Panthers.
Now I almost am tempted to go with Staley and here's why. But I'm not going to. Staley
has gotten them to the playoffs last year and they were up 30 to nothing at halftime
and then lost 31 to 30 or something like that to Jacksonville. So I don't know. I mean that
alone may give it to them but I don't know. We need to talk this out a little bit and
figure it out. Okay. Frank Reich won win but he doesn't really have any talent. They have
that high draft pick that they picked ahead of CJ Stroud. I forgot his name. But he has
been a total dud but he has nothing to work with man. They don't have any talent there.
So maybe Brandon Staley does have to get it because of the playoff loss last year and
really just sucking ass this year with a lot of talent on their team. I mean they got Bosa
and gosh who was the other past rusher? I can't think of his name. And then they have
to get back to the game. What's his name? Herbert. You know one of the guys they say
oh he's better than Mahomes. Oh yeah? What does he want? What's his name? Has he ever
beaten Mahomes in yards? No. Has he ever beaten Mahomes in touchdowns? Has he ever won anything?
Okay there. There's your fucking answer. So I think I changed my opinion talking it out.
I think I'm going to go with Brandon Staley. Well during your talk I'm going to have to
agree with you. Alright Staley it is. This next one I probably should have sent to Topher
but I think we can talk it out. Philadelphia Eagles fans versus Raider fan. This hurts
me to my bone. But I'm going to have to go with obnoxious Philly fan. Those fucking pizza
eating ass wipes. I mean they do have a court in veteran stadium because these guys are
so unruly. Whenever they won the Super Bowl, not against the Chiefs they didn't but they
won it a few years before that, a guy ate horse shit he was so happy. They had to grease
the light poles so people wouldn't climb them. As much as I hate Raider fan, I got to go
with Philly. But at the same time, well that was back in the 90s. Go ahead. I talked to
fans. I lived in Gansettie. Fans had season tickets. They'd all travel to wherever Raider
players were playing. They would be escorted off their buses to their hotel rooms. Escorted
to the stadium. Security all around them at all times because they had a Chiefs uniform
on. Philly fan has just been a pain. Yeah, that's been quite a while ago. Yeah. Do you
want to send this one to Topher? Eagles fan wins it. But Raider fan, okay let's do it
like this. NFC is eagle fan. AFC is Raider fan. Okay, alright there we go. Next one.
Commander's logo. Washington Commander's. Former Redskins against the Giants logo which
is that stupid just MY that's like really pathetic looking. But the Commander's just
has a W that's kind of odd looking W. The Commander's. I agree. Both of them suck. How
the hell are they still a team? They have lost all their dignity. I agree. They lost
their name. They lost their coaches. They lost players. Yes. But they're still a team.
They're also the team that couldn't protect Alex Smith so bad that he almost fucking died
from his injuries. Right, right, right. You're right. Commander's, you got it. They are the
official more ass baggy. I'm going to say this if we're on a podcast and not on the
show. The only reason why they're a team is they're worse than DC. Yeah. I'm going to
say. Okay. I'm going to say. Okay, that's cool. Next one. Jerry Jones versus Robert
Kraft. I got to go with Robert Kraft and here's why. Robert Kraft was the one that got fucking
caught fucking getting a tug and yank in a shady fucking massage parlor in Florida, right?
Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah. I think the tug and yanker gets it. Even though. He's
in Dallas. The head coach is about to be on the Ring of Honor. Oh, really? Mike McCarthy?
I should have made that report. I didn't say none of it. Yeah. Okay. But you know what?
Jerry Jones. Yeah, he's been put on the Ring of Honor. Jerry Jones years ago was supposedly
in some anti anti African American groups and was like picketing or something, I think
against them. So you know what? I think I changed mine to Jerry Jones because of that.
If that is true. I mean, yeah, that's the only thing it gets me is I have not seen proof.
You know what? I changed. I changed. I never seen. You're right. You're right. I don't
know for sure. So I'm gonna go ahead and switch mine back to Robert Kraft because he got the
Robert. Yeah, he got the tug and yank. So okay, there you go. Robert Kraft wins the
ass bag. He's a little bit more ass bag year than Jerry Jones. They're both ass bags, but
he's a little bit more of an ass bag. All right. Plus you got the football deflation.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. And worse yet, the filming, the filming of other teams.
The filming. Yeah. Yeah. Robert Kraft just fucking ran away with it. Yeah. That old fucking
bag of shit. Yeah. You know what? That bag of shit needs like an ass paddling. He's in
the Hall of Fame. And because he's such a dickwad, he gets bare ass paddled every month. Every
time that we pull out our list, he should be on it. We're not going to mention him,
but he's on the list and we paddle him again. Everybody needs to remember this because we're
not going to mention him. Yeah, just remember. He's automatically there. He's automatically
pulled out of the Hall of Fame, his pants taken down and immediately ass paddled and
then putting back into the Hall of Fame. So. All right. And I'm lined up with a metal spoon.
You know what that means. That fucking hurts, dude. Next. Yeah. Yeah. Ask my balls. Your
balls. My brother's everybody's balls. Next one. Arizona Cardinals turf versus Meadowlands
turf. Arizona Cardinals turf has tore many of knees up, but Meadowland, Meadowlands turf
did the ultimate and fucking took out Aaron Rodgers in his first game in the first five
minutes. So for that alone, I have to go with Meadowlands artificial turf that sucks. Well,
I'm out of time. Wait, this or now. Okay. Well, that's what we're here for. This is
why we do it. So it was Aaron Rodgers within five minutes. Well, in five minutes, I believe
there's a pretty good list of people that got hurt there. But I think, okay, that's
not something I have looked at. But okay, okay. Here's my case against Arizona, though.
This may not be so cut and dry. Arizona is the one that almost took Patrick Mahomes out
last year in the Super Bowl. Okay. Case solved. All right. Are you going to Arizona? Case
solved. Okay. Arizona. Don't take on Mahomes. All right. Arizona gets the slight nod of
the ass baggie-er. So, okay. All right. Next one. Love Arizona. Love Arizona, except for
their turf and not the Cardinals. Not the Cardinals. I love Arizona as a state. I love
Transan, Arizona. Fuck, you know. Yeah. Okay. Next one. I could be listening. Who knows?
Yeah. Yeah. And if you're not, we don't like you anymore. All right. They grew up in Kansas
City, so they know what I'm talking about. They should definitely be listening then.
Next one. Cheesehead or Raider Skull Mask? I'm going to go with Raider Skull Mask because
they're more obnoxious. Yeah. We will see the Cheeseheads next week, though, because
we are traveling to Green Bay to play them. Okay. Well, here's my point of view on this.
You had kids that go to these football games. Mm-hmm. Some kids are scared of Halloween
Mask. Uh-huh. I know this because my son grew up being scared of Halloween Mask because
he got scared when he was young. That's a good point. So, do you think Raider Skull
Mask probably wins this? Yeah. Yeah. And besides that, they're so smug and obnoxious. They
use the big phone keys to wear on their head. Yeah. There's some- When there's a smash,
it's scary to kids. I'm sticking up for the kids, honestly. And even after we got done
kicking the shit out of them, they're somewhere bragging. We know this. Oh, yeah, you were.
You were. It's gonna be his Christmas day. Well, guess what? Christmas day. My son's
gonna be at Arrowhead watching the Chiefs beat the shit out of you again. Yes. Only
this time, I think what they need to do is after they kick your ass, hold you down and
shit on your face. All of the Raiders. Doesn't that sound fun? You know what? The way we're
going tonight, I think our one listener that emailed in has something. Maybe we ought to
do one show a night and not just sports. I think he's right. I really do. This is sounding
pretty good. To me, this is sounding pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I've got more sports
coming later. Just so everybody knows. Yes. Yes. Rob has a very in-depth, rasslin'. Should
we call it a rasslin' roundup? Yeah. Yeah. Rob's rasslin' roundup. Rob Brad's rasslin'
roundup. That's my official name. All right. I'm gonna get Chad the voice guy on that,
okay? All right. Next one is $15 Nasty Budweiser. The reason I call it a Nasty Budweiser is
because someone called up Kevin Keatsman's show when he was on 810 and said that they...
I remember him. Yeah. Yeah. Someone called him up. Years ago. It was years ago, though.
Well, he's not on the radio anymore. He had a big falling out with the Chiefs over some
stuff he said, and he was taking off 810. He does a podcast now, but that guy called
in and he said that they use the bottom of the barrel for the kegs that go to the stadiums
because nobody gives a shit. The horrible stuff at the bottom with the hops floating
around because he worked at Anheuser-Busch and he said, yeah, we send the garbage beer
there because everyone's too smashed to realize it's horrible beer. So the $15 Nasty Budweiser
or the $20 Cheeseburger at Arrowhead? Which one is a bigger ass bag? I'm gonna go with
the $20 Cheeseburger and here's why. Okay. Everybody likes a cheeseburger. Not everybody
drinks a Budweiser. Right. So I think just by coverage alone, I think the Cheeseburger
wins. Okay. Yeah. Here we go back to the kids. You gotta feed the kids while they're there.
That's right. And you're getting ripped off $20 a pop. Okay. Well, Papa here just spent
Thanksgiving night with his grandsons. Yeah. I'm feeling pretty partial to kids right now.
Oh yeah. That's great that he did too. I was so happy. And that's why we didn't do our
Thanksgiving episode. First time ever without mom. That's cool. Very cool. And that's why
we didn't do our Thanksgiving episode as promised because Rob needed some papa time with his
grandson and I'm all for that. So. And it was last minute. He said he didn't want to
go home. He wanted to stay with papa and Uncle Bob. That's great. So we did. Good. I'm glad
you guys had such a good time. That's good. Oh yeah. Because stuff like that is the most
important stuff in your life. So I'm glad you got to do that. We need it. We need it.
Yes. All right. The next one. This one's. This one's tough. And that's why I saved it
for last. Kirk Herb Street versus Joe Buck. Joe Buck. Joe Buck. Okay. I. I like you.
Okay. You know what. And that was my first thought too. Was Joe Buck. So. Okay. I don't
know who this other dude is you're talking about. I know who Joe Buck is. Kirk Herb Street
is the guy that they put along with Chris Collinsworth to replace Al Mike. I think.
No no no. Maybe he's on CBS. You know what. I think I got it fucked up. Anyhow you know
what. Just trust me on this. Okay. Well actually. No no. Not trust me. You're the one that said
it. Joe Buck gets it. Okay. Just by body work. He's very. I mean that's just going off because
I know Joe Buck. Kirk Herb Street is without Michaels. I've caught one Kansas City game
this year. That's the only football game I've gotten to watch until next weekend. Kirk Herb
Street is without Michaels on Amazon. I'm going to get me in a Dizzle and Tana or Roku
or something. Alright. Sounds good. Okay. I'm missing my football this year. Yeah you
gotta start watching it. I'm going off what I read on the internet. On the football. Just
so everybody knows. Okay. Alright. Well let's take our first break and we'll be right back
here in a couple minutes. That sound good Rob? Sounds great. Alright everybody hang
tight. Next up. Things Overheard in Hell. Man Axel Rose is such a great childhood therapist.
I hope he writes more books. The apocalypse just happened. You don't know what to do.
But we can tell you what you can eat. Wild asparagus is plentiful and easy to find.
It can be stewed with garlic and onion which is both wild which can be easily found in
a very tasty post apocalypse food. You can make this into a delicious stew and this will
hold you over at least for a couple of days until you can find some other food. Continuing
our quest here at Two Douchebags in a Microphone to be constantly funny. Once again we offer
you strange insults from an alien. And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark. Man, I sure wish
I was the garbage man. You know what I could do if I was the garbage man? I could go to
the wrong parts of town on the wrong days periodically in the morning and then watch
everybody run out of their house in their underwear with two bags of trash screaming
stop halt. Yeah, that's what I'd love to do.
Two Douchebags in a Microphone. I'm Mark. And I am Rob. Before we get to the hairy
asshole Olympics, I got a little report here that I want you to go over with me and I want
to get your take on this, Rob. Okay, okay. And before we go into that, you need to get
on RSS.com and take a look, my friend. Oh, are you? I got on there today and it blew
my freaking mind. We're up 60%. Did you see our Des Moines members? Did you see that?
Yeah. Our Des Moines members are going fucking bonkers. There's people up there fucking
just jamming our show. Thank you, Des Moines. Okay, okay, okay. And by the way, I was trying
to work on a story, but I did not get time to finish it. This is where we need our, well,
it's from Council Bluffs to Des Moines and on up to Minneapolis. What? They bring in
missing truck drivers. There is? No. Right now. Yeah, they found the trucks, bodies missing,
but there was something that started over somewhere around Atlantic, Iowa. But I talked
to my cousin today. She hadn't heard nothing about it. But I'm reading it on the internet.
My adopted son that was up in Denson, Iowa, is the one that told me about it. Wow. Yeah,
it started out, there was this guy on this gal in the middle of the highway, blah, blah,
blah, stole a car, pulled somebody over, stole a car, whatever. Well, now they have this
string of truckers missing. Wow. And they're thinking it might be related because they're
all had the same direction. And now they've turned and went north like they're heading
to Minnesota. Wow. I don't have the details in front of me. So any of our listeners, I'm
for something. You won't hear this for two, three days. If you get any tips and you know,
you hear anything about this, let's catch these people. Yeah. There's three truck drivers
missing and we believe, well, some people believe this is all connected. They think
they know who's doing it, which makes it serial. Okay. Yeah. Iowa seems to just frickin love
us. Just love us. Yeah. That's cool. That's what I was looking at. Yeah. Bluffs are number
three and Des Moines isn't our number four. I know. So this is going up. This is going
on up around them. Yeah. Wow. So, Hey, if anyone knows anything about this, has a little
bit more information, email us douche B six six at yahoo.com and we will gladly report
on this because this is a very upsetting situation. I've seen people before. Just say it. Yeah.
We say, but if you do still emails, let us know. Hey, I know exactly what you're talking
about. Yeah. We would like to know a little bit more about it or whatever. So, um, okay.
Moving on here. Um, this is what I was going to get to previously. Okay. It appears this
nearly a third of Americans ages 80, 18, not 80, 18 to 29 regularly get their news from
tick tock according to Pew research. And overall the share of us adults who say they're regularly
get their news from tick tock has quadrupled from 3% in 2020 to 14% in 2023. That is the
is concerning. I didn't know they had news on tick tock. They consider it news. That's
what the problem is. I don't have tick tock. I don't have, I don't either Facebook. I have,
I have Facebook and Instagram and that's it. I have nothing else. I don't want to. I don't
have Instagram. I like Instagram because it's a great way to promote the program. I have
a lot of people that just tune in on Instagram to find out when the show is being released
or whenever we're doing another show or what's going on because they, they send me messages
and go, Hey, thanks a lot. We appreciate it. You know, knowing where the show's at and
a lot of people grab their show because they know that they can get it on Insta because
it's mainly pictures and stories like that. So it works out really well with that type
of platform in this type of a, of a show. So anyhow, I mean, tick tock is the one that
I was reading up on this and I didn't get to go over it during Thanksgiving, but people
were putting cement mix in their mashed potatoes and whipping them up because someone said
and demonstrated acted like they're putting cement mix in their mashed potatoes. They
said it, it firmed it up and made it tastier. All it's doing is fucking up people's blenders.
I get, well, my first time, once you said that, that is firming up. Yes. I love that
when I read that. I'm like, my God, these idiots. They're like, Oh my God. So first
off they have to buy a bag of cement, right? Then they got to take it to the car. This
right here is why our listeners listen to us. I love that. Okay. It says to put two cups
for every five potatoes. There we go. I had ought to be great. And then they're fucking
blenders freeze up. Yeah. I was going to get to that Thanksgiving, but we got a sidetrack
so many times I found the story afterwards. I'm like, Oh shit. I'm forgetting to get to
it. I don't even know what I did with the story. Yeah. I don't even remember what I
did with the actual story. It's somewhere around here and anyhow, but yeah, we're putting
cement mix and fucking mashed potatoes and expecting it to be tasty and full or whatever.
I'm like, just go ahead. I'm shaking my ankle. What the fuck? Yeah. Brilliant. Brilliant.
So anyhow, Rob Radd, want to get into Rob Radd's Rasslin Roundup? Okay. And like I said,
get ready for a break because this is going to be a lengthy one. Rob Radd, the floor is
yours. Okay. Well, on my last day of four days off, I spent about five, five and a half
hours watching a three hour pay-per-view between stop and restart. You know, I got to do my
daily thing. Well, this happens to be the WWE survivor series war games pay-per-view.
They happened last night while we were podcasting. Oh, okay. So this goes out to anybody that
missed it and can't watch it or whatever. But if you're going to watch it, I hate to
spoil it. I'm not going to give too much away. Okay. But there was five matches. Okay. And
it was the 37th annual survivor series in Chicago, Illinois. All state arenas sold out.
Wow. That's a pretty big arena. There was 17,138 people in attendance. Okay. That's
a big arena. Okay. Now, the reason why this is going to be a lengthy one, because there's
a lot to cover, just explaining in this pay-per-view. Okay. It's just not two people getting in
a ring, beating the crap out of each other. Okay. Okay. Survivor series, they attach two
rings together. They put two rings side by side and put a piece of diamond plate through
the middle so you can go ring to ring. Okay. And then they bring down a 15 foot tall, six
ton, half mile steel and aluminum steel cage around these two rings. Shit. And it's two
teams against each other. Okay. So they're tag teaming? That's what I get? Yeah. Okay.
Yes. But it's multiple. Okay. I get into that when I get into the first match. Okay. Well,
no, actually I'm going into it. Okay. Two people start the match, which actually the
match ain't started. The second person hits the ring, you start beating the hell out of
each other. Five minutes later, well, the first match was four on four. Okay. Last match
was five on five. Okay. You see what I'm doing here? Yeah. Yeah. I get it. The first match
was four on four. Two people start. Five minutes later, somebody else enters. Okay. From one
team. So it turns into a two on one. Three minutes later, somebody else comes in. Okay.
From the other team. And they keep going till everybody's in the ring beating the crap out
of each other. But the second that last person enters the ring, the match actually starts.
Everybody's beating the crap out of each other before the match starts. Okay. It's a no disqualification.
So a lot of people as they're coming down to the ring, they reach underneath the ring,
grab out chairs, tables, kendo sticks, whatever, throw in. Okay. They come down to help their
teammates. Okay. And there was three singles matches, which I'll go into. Okay. Okay. The
first match was the women's survivor series match. It was team Bianca Belair, which consists
of Bianca Belair, who is Shotsie, Charlotte Flair, Becky Lynch. Okay. Okay. Where's my
other person here? There was something else in there. Oh no. And you don't have it available?
No. Oh, she didn't win the match. So it don't matter. Okay. All right. And I'm just saying
this match was, and they went up against team damage control, which is a faction in WWE.
It's a female faction. Okay. Bailey was the captain. Eo Skye, who is the women's champion,
which is part of damage control. Mm hmm. Tyler Sane, who just bumped up from NXT that
we've been talking about. Okay. Actually, most of these came from NXT. Okay. And Asuka.
Asuka is a Japanese wrestler. Okay. That's why there was only four of them. This is four
on four. Okay. In the last match. The men's match, it was five on five. Okay. Well, I'm
telling you, if you get the chance to watch this, it's amazing. Okay. I'm just saying
Eo Skye, I don't want to get no spoilers. Okay. Eo Skye, the women's champion was on
top of this 15 foot ring. Okay. And put a metal trash can over herself. And all the
other seven women were standing down below. She come off the top of a 15 foot tall ring,
a metal trash can on her and bowling balled everybody. I love that. Took out the, yeah.
And she's the women's champion. That's why she's the women's champion. For the results. Okay.
Pete Bianca, Becky Lynch, Penn Bailey for the win. Okay. Match number two. Now in singles
matches, this is where we go to singles matches. And that's not my notice. On the singles matches,
they raised the cage. They still have two rings. Okay. Singles matches happen in one ring. So it
was just like a regular singles match. You still had, you know, note, you know,
you still had rules, everything. I got you. Okay. The second match was for the Intercontinental
Championship. The champion Boothur took on the Miz. Okay. And these, and I just listened,
like I said, I went, I watched this whole pay-per-view and I pick up some backs off of it.
And that's how I picked up what I'm getting ready to say. Okay. Dr. Boothur, excuse me.
Not Dr. Boothur. Okay. It's the longest reigning Intercontinental champion. He's been champion
533 days. Wow. He's not been pinned in two years. Sounds like he's doing pretty good.
And let me tell you, all these matches were great and they did a great job
picking the opponents on these matches. It was a really great pay-per-view. That's cool.
Dr. Boothur retained the title by putting the Miz in a Boston Crab,
but to reinforce it, he put his knee in the bat, putting the extra pressure on. Okay.
Okay. Our third match goes to the Lucha Libre World.
Okay. There's been this new faction called the LWO Latino World Order.
Wow. Okay. Okay. It's been Rey Mysterio and Santos Escobar. Okay. Well, they had Carlito join in,
which is a Puerto Rican wrestler from back in the early 2000s. And he just came back.
And there was a new Lucha Libre named Dragon Lee. Okay. Well, when this match was set,
what it is, is Santos Escobar is done with the LWO. He wants to be himself. Okay. Okay. I understand
that. Well, the match was set to be against Rey Mysterio. Okay. Rey Mysterio got injured
a couple of weeks ago. Oh, okay. I didn't know that. So Carlito stepped up to take the match.
Okay. So Mysterio did it, had nothing to do with it then because he was injured.
No, Mysterio was not in this match. He was supposed to be, but he wasn't.
Okay. So it was Carlito. So Carlito stepped up. Okay.
Santos is the one that's leaving the Latino world order.
Well, from what I read, Carlito got jumped this week. Okay.
So he was not able to wrestle. Okay. So they had this new Lucha Libre. Rey Mysterio
calls the future of Lucha Libre. Okay. His name is Dragon Lee.
It was the first pay-per-view ever. Okay.
Santos Escobar performed the fan driver to defeat Dragon Lee. Okay. Although I'm telling you,
he watched it for Dragon Lee. He is up and coming. Yeah, he is awesome. He's got a great name too.
He's a high flyer. Okay. Let's take a break and then come back with the rest of it. Okay.
Let's do that. All righty.
May, your five-year-old neighbor have all their violin lessons during all of your hangovers.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
May, you forever feel yourself vibrating in the pocket that's not even in your head.
Oh shit. What's that over there? Oh no. It's the island of horrible jokes.
It's the island of horrible jokes. I asked my date to meet me at the gym.
She didn't show up. I guess we're not going to work out.
Oh,
two douchebags in a microphone, raw and uncensored. See behind the smoke show. Watch as the douchebags
get stung by a stalk of bees. Enjoy one of many coffee houses ordering our heroes out. Watch Mark
revisit Clinton, Missouri to claim his innocence for all the man-shitter accusations. I didn't do it.
I'm not the man-shitter. Act now and get both high-quality DVD sets and a free douchebag calendar.
Mark off the day with a douchebag looking at you. Supplies are limited, so act now.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
And you have the personality of a soggy newspaper. Next up, things overheard in hell.
Howard Stern just signed a 10-year contract extension.
Two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
All right. We're going to get back to the Rasslin'
report, Rad Rob's Rasslin' Roundup here in a minute. But we got a couple of stories we're
going to throw at you here real quick. There's a news flash in, Rob. You know that?
No, I do not hear that. Okay. The images of Walmart self-checkout machines
prompting the customers for tips are AI-generated. That's not true. Okay.
AI generated these Walmart self-checkout machines, which is also a form of AI.
And it showed these self-checkout machines going, how much of a tip do you want to leave?
Well, it turns out that was fake. Those Walmart machines did not go rogue and ask for tips on
their own like they're alleging. You know, it's hilarious because I've heard a lot about this
and a lot of people got suckered in. This is actually quite concerning because the deep fakes
are everywhere and most times it's almost impossible to tell. I could actually see
trials going to jury over what happened, what appears to be a defendant doing a crime on a
camera. But then the defendant can argue and say, hey, that was AI-generated. That was not me.
Do you see the slippery slope I'm talking about, Rob? Yeah. Yeah. Someone could come up and like,
Rob, a diamond store. And then he could go, no, no, no, someone released that. Whoever really did
the heist released it and tried to AI-generate me doing it. That'd be a hell of a time trying
to prove they didn't, wouldn't it? If it was a really good deep fake. We talked about this on
one of my earlier podcasts. Yeah, we did. But this- We were concerned about it because people could
do that. They could come up with false evidence against somebody. Yeah. This story right here
illustrates everything that we're talking about, Rob. Everybody believed this. When I read it,
I kind of smelled bullshit. I was like, I don't know, man. I was like, I don't know if I quite
believe that because I think Walmart is smart enough to know that if these machines started
doing that, they'd go over, they preempt it and they would do something. Yeah. So anyhow, well,
you know, AI can just throw out a bunch of bullshit, dude. And then people would know what to do.
Yeah. The slippery slope, it's unfolding right in front of us right now, Rob.
I believe it. Yeah. Yeah. I read and I do a lot of reading for this podcast, just so everybody knows.
So do I, Rob. So do I. I do a lot of reading and now I'm doing a lot of editing because I'm
getting tired and getting caught with my fucking pants down. An article that goes into a bunch of
shit that nobody cares about. And then all of a sudden I got an impromptu to come up with something
on the spot. And I'm like, yeah, fuck. Some of these people just like to write out fucking words.
I swear. Yeah. I mean, I'll find out something I want to, oh, like that Chrisley bit I did last night.
Yeah. About Tom, Julie, Chrisley. Uh huh. Yeah. Dude, it would have took me 25 minutes to read
that whole story to everybody. Yeah. Because it goes into shit and nobody cares about.
That's why we tell everybody if you want to know more, we're just bringing it to your attention.
Yeah. Look it up. Check it out yourself. Yes. Yeah. So anyhow, um, that was an interesting story
that we've been talking about for a while. And, uh, Rob, do you want to go back to a little bit
more of Rob Brad's rasslin' roundup? Sure. Sure. Alrighty. The floor once again is yours, Rob Brad.
Okay. The fourth match was another singles match. It was for the women's world championship.
Zoe start took on the champion real ripply of the judgment day. Thank you. You know,
as I keep saying, thank you, uh, groups of more than two or three people that get together,
you know, and it seems like WWE is going a lot more to that. Just say, yeah,
it was another hard hitting battle. Yeah. Real ripply hit the riptide for the win
and retain the women's championship. Cool. Did you want her to win?
Actually, I'm liking Zoe start. Zoe start is another one that came out of NXT. She's an up
and comer. That's what NXT is. It's the new up and coming. I'm so glad. I'm so glad I caught part of
that. And I asked you now, I understand it a hundred percent. It's like the minor leagues.
It's like, look, show us, show us what you can do and we'll promote you.
But right now, okay. It was just Monday night raw against Friday night, Smackdown or Thursday night,
Smackdown, whatever that night they decide to have it. Yeah. And they were the two brands.
Okay. And NXT was the minor leagues. Well, NXT has developed so much that once a year,
Smackdown and Raw would have a shakeup to where people from one show would go to the other shows.
Okay. You see what I mean? You got me here. Yes. NXT has gotten so big.
You can go to three different shows now. Wow. In the trade. Yeah. It's like, it's like a draft.
And you can get traded to different shows. And now you could get traded to NXT.
It's there. NXT, they're there, man. They're there. Okay. Cool. And that's the future of the WWE.
Wow. Okay. A lot of them, other ones you won't ever see. You know.
Okay. Okay. Now our fifth and final match of the evening was the five man team. Uh-huh.
So match. It was team Cody Rhodes, which is the American dream, Dusty Rhodes' baby boy.
It was a huge name, huge name. He just came back from AEW, which I will speak about in another
time. Okay. I walked a little bit in it too. Okay. Sandy Zane, Jey Uso, who was part of the famous
Uso brother tag team. Okay. Beth Rollins. And what was supposed to be Randy Orton, but Randy Orton
did not come out through the match throughout the match. Oh, wow. He's still around. Well,
Randy Orton is a 14 time world champion. He's been out for a year and a half.
He was supposed to make his appearance at Survivor Series.
Okay. And they took on the team of Drew McIntyre. Uh-huh.
And the rest of the Judgment Day, JG McDonough, Dominique Mysterio.
Okay. And that's the way Mysterio's done. Who is the NXT champion.
Ben Baller and Damian Priest.
And his team Damian. Damian Priest was the captain. Okay. Ben Baller and Seth Rollins started out.
Mm-hmm. And Drew McIntyre just came back. He had a direct with Jey Uso. Okay. That is the only
reason why he teamed up with the Judgment Day. Okay. Because he wanted to get his hands on Jey Uso.
Okay. Um, Cody Rhodes' dad, American Dream Dusty Rhodes invented this match. Okay. His first form
was July 4th, 1987. Wow. Quite a while ago. Well, it come down and looked like Randy wasn't
going to show up. The clock kicked back, clock kicked down. The last person in the ring,
Randy Orton showed up. Looks like Randy Orton's a good guy.
Yeah. Again.
Cody Rhodes caught Damian Priest with the crossroads for the win.
Okay. Did Randy Orton ever show up? Yeah. Yeah. Randy come in at the, when he was supposed to.
Okay. Come in with us, joined everybody. Yeah. Randy Orton's a good guy again.
Okay. All right. Rob Redd. And that was the main event. But
I hate to be a spoiler. I have breaking news. Okay. After the main event.
Okay. There's been rumors that CM Pump was leaving the AW to rejoin the WWE.
After the main event in his hometown of Chicago, CM Pump walked out of the back
and greeted the audience in the WWE. CM Pump is back. Cool. I love CM Pump.
That was a very good report, Rob. Thank you.
I thought it was going to be lengthy. Oh, that's all right. That's all right.
I actually sat down, took notes, watched them.
Okay. Well, thank you, Rob. That was a very in-depth report. We enjoyed it, or I definitely did.
I'm pretty sure when else did too. We got one final story before we cut off here.
Texas women said she was banned for life from the Carnival Cruises after security found CBD gummies
in her luggage. In August, Melinda Van Velhuizen, 42, was preparing to set sail from Miami with her
family when security searched her bag and discovered a pack of CBD gummies. In the following
hours, Van Velhuizen was held away from her family and ultimately denied the chance to board.
Miami ABC affiliate WPLG earlier reported, later Van Velhuizen received a letter from Carnival
Cruise Line informing her that she'd be prohibited from boarding any Carnival ships in the future
and any future bookings would be canceled. This decision was based on your actions on your current
cruise, which were a violation of the ship rules, interfered with the safety and or enjoyment of
other guests on the ship or caused harm to Carnival. The letter from Carnival Horizon Captain
Rocco Lembrano reads, business insider obtained a copy of the letter. Velhuizen told local news that
she brought, well the, okay, anyhow you know what it did not, I don't even know why it even mentioned
the letter. Okay, it gives you a little rough draft of it. It says that because it's against the rules,
CBS is against her, CBD is against the rules, and that she did not follow the rules and that's why
she's kicked off her life. Carnival sent a follow-up letter after that letter and they gave
$1,665 of her fare, of her own fare, but Velhuizen and entire family decided not to board after she
wasn't allowed to, so the whole family lost $5,586 because they would not cruise without her.
So, Carnival gave her her part back, but they're not going to give the rest of the family their
part back because they said they could have all boarded. It was her, Velhuizen, that she was the
one that was breaking the rules. The thing that I don't see, Rob, is this right here. I know it's
against the rules, but CBD contains no THC. There's absolutely no, yeah, there's no law against it
anywhere, so I don't know how Carnival gets off doing this to this lady. I don't know. Okay, now
here's my other question. Okay. How much fine print did you have to read through
to know that there was no CBD allowed? Rob, every time I take a cruise and I'm almost platinum on
Carnival and... There's no THC. Yeah. That's illegal.
Well, the thing that gets me is still the sticking point is it is not THC. It is not an illegal
substance of any kind. It's a gummy that she took because she has inflammation. I know a lot of
people that take CBD because it helps them with inflammation. It helps them with their pain,
and it helps them sleep. So why in the hell is Carnival being so back-ass words about this?
I don't get. So I am thoroughly against Carnival on this and disgusted that they did this to this
woman, and I think they need to pay all 5,000 and some back because who would want to go on a trip
and their mom sit at home because of a stupid fucking rule violation, right? Especially when
she's probably the one that paid for the whole trip. Yeah. Yeah, probably. We don't know.
Well, I mean, if it goes down like it says and what we think, then yeah, we mean it. But if it's
something totally different, it's something we know nothing about. But yeah, I consider it complete
garbage. So anyhow, all right, we are well over an hour, Rob. I think we're going to go ahead and
shut this puppy down. All right. All right, Rob. Thank you. I think this is a very good episode.
I think a lot of people are going to enjoy that in-depth Rastam report. And I'll tell you what,
we will talk off air about this sports show because I think you're right. I think we do need to.
Yeah, I think so too. Okay. But like I said before, we start up once a week,
a one-off sports show. That's fine. But it's not going to interrupt. It's not. It's not going to
interrupt Rob Radd's Rastam Roundup on the regular show once a week. Agreed? You'll be getting two
reports a week. That's right. So, okay. All right, Rob. Let's go ahead and sign off. Thank you,
everybody, for listening. Have a great night. Have a good night, everybody. Bye.
Hey, where did everybody go? Where are the douchebags?
Oh my God. Someone took a dump in the corner. Oh, geez. Glad they're gone.
Let's just hope they don't come back. Man, that smells.