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Live from the historic river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the crystal blue waters of the Missouri River, it's two douchebags and a microphone podcast.

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Invisible ass paddlings, new douche flavors, and horrible pranks? What the fuck is wrong with these guys?

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And now, deep thoughts with Mark.

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Hmm, is a pop tart a ravioli? Or is it a sandwich? I may never know.

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Hmm.

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Two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark.

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And I'm Rob.

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No, I didn't.

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It was both beach. I'm telling you, it was both beach.

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We're totally agreement.

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We're totally agreement.

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That was broke beach. I'm telling you, it was broke beach. We're totally agreement.

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That was broke beach. I'm telling you, it was broke beach. We're totally agreement.

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I'm telling you, it was broke beach. We're totally agreement.

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You know, world peace, something like that maybe? End of wars? No, no, no, no.

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We decided we wanted to be invisible so we could ass paddle people that needed.

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The genie very reluctantly granted our wish, rolling his eyes, thinking, man, what stupid humans.

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But he had to give us that one wish because we let him out of his bottle.

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So, anyhow, here are some invisible ass paddlings, if I could ever wake up, it would be nice.

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Norman Wareham, inventor of the worst, most ineffective invention ever, the automatic motion detector water faucet.

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Would you agree?

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Yeah, yeah.

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This painting ass won't work half the time and when it does, it gives you one second of water.

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The automatic water faucet guy that configures the soap also gets an ass paddling.

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Because he gives you 10 ounces of soap and less than one ounce of water.

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Hey, dipshit, that 10 ounces of soap is 95% fucking water.

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Fucking idiots need to be in the Hall of Fame, bare ass paddling at that.

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So, they give you all this soap, which is 99% water, right?

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And one half of ounce of water to wash that soap off with.

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You're wasting all that soap with water in it to only give you hardly any.

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How about if they configure it different and give you a little bit less soap and a little bit more water?

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But no, you can never get that because they're dipshits.

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The next one that gets an ass paddling, and do you agree they get bare ass paddled and they're in the Hall of Fame?

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Yes.

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Yeah, they deserve Hall of Fame and bare ass paddled at that.

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The next guy that gets it, and I didn't have him in the Hall of Fame, but it can be argued.

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The motion paper towel dispenser inventor, Danny Bird.

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That idiot is making everybody in public crappers look like a bunch of mongoloids flailing their hands in the air

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just praying that it will magically motion to set the dispenser to finally give you two inches of paper towels.

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Roy Scott, the inventor of the paper towels, is weeping in his grave right now over this.

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He's like, I come up with such a great invention and you guys are fucking it up,

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making people look like complete fucking mongoloids waving their hands in the air trying to get two inches of paper towel out,

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which won't dry your pinky finger.

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Bullshit.

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And he gets an ass paddling.

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Agreed?

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Yep.

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Now, these guys are already in the Hall of Fame, but they deserve another mention and another ass paddling.

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We can pull them out of the Hall of Fame and paddle their ass, right?

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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McDs for bringing back the McRib and acting like they didn't lie to us again.

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And I actually called it on bullshit.

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I actually called it, saying that yeah, there's going to be a groundswell of people screaming for the McRib.

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Then they're going to bring, okay guys, okay, we'll bring it back this one time.

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Bullshit.

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They knew what they were doing at the start, in my opinion,

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and it's a big ruse to get people to go, oh my, we've got to go beat McDonald's and get that pressed asshole meat.

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And anyone, the next one that gets an ass paddling, anyone who buys a McRib,

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if you see them, turn them in for their ass paddling.

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Or just do it yourself.

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My suggestion is if you're down at the neighborhood McDs and you see somebody buying a McRib,

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you're to grab them right then, find whatever you can.

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I don't care what it is.

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Grab whatever you can and ass paddle them.

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Agreed, Rob?

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Yes.

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Yes.

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They deserve it and they know not what they do.

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They're rubes, they're followers, they're sheep, and they need their ass paddled.

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So, the next one on the ass paddling, not Hall of Fame, but the ass paddling list,

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college football panel for completely bumbling the college football rankings and screwing teams out of bowl beds.

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They are, I mean, they've always been great at it, but it seems to me like they're getting worse lately.

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Would you agree?

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Yeah, I would agree.

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I think a lot of people would.

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There's no rhyme or reason to what they're thinking that day and it's really ridiculous, some of the ones.

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I mean, the one thing that I noticed was this right here.

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Teams that are perennial winners, it doesn't matter what their team is doing that year,

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they're still going to get a higher ranking just because they're perennial winners.

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And that's not right.

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It goes per year.

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That year should be who the best teams are.

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Not looking at the whole body of work.

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Like Alabama always gets a favorable one.

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LSU gets a favorable one.

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Georgia gets a favorable one.

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That's because they always win.

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Back in the day, I remember Nebraska used to get, in the 80s, Nebraska used to get a favorable ranking

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because with Tom Osborne, they were perennial winners.

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And I'm sick of that.

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I could almost predict who's going to be in the top 10 at the first of any year

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because of their ranking the year before and not their depth and who left and who came in or nothing like that.

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And to me, it's just complete bullshit.

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And they do it for buzz, right?

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Oh, did you see Alabama got number one over Georgia?

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You know, and I think what it does is they do it because it makes people talk about it.

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It makes people angry.

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It makes them passionate about their team not being in it.

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Do you think I'm right?

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Yeah, yeah.

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Yeah, and it's a ruse.

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So to me, I think it's a ruse.

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In my opinion, I think that they do that because if you're a perennial winner,

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you naturally have more interest than a Kansas or a K-State or even a Mizzou who's doing really well this year.

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They're nine and two.

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They were number nine.

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They're in the top 10, so I got to give them props.

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They did put them in the top 10.

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So anyhow, I think that's the way it is.

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And Mizzou is in the SEC, which has a shit ton of great teams, perennial winners,

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so it's kind of hard to crack in there.

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So the next one.

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Walmart for continually having two regular checkout lines on the opposite side of the exit door,

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but all the self-checkouts right next to the exit door.

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The bastards want to make it as inconvenient as possible to go through the traditional lines.

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Cheap fucks, in my opinion.

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Have you noticed that, Rob?

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Yeah.

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In the exit door, there's like 10, 12 self-checkout machines,

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but if you want to check out the regular way, you got to go a half mile down that store,

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and there's two lanes open.

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So what are you going to do?

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You're going to go, oh, fuck, I don't want to go all the way down there

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and then have to walk all the way back to the exit door over here to just check out my stuff.

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To me, it seems like a trick, a trap, in my opinion,

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to make you almost force you to use the self-checkout machines.

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What do you think? You think I'm on to something?

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Yeah, I think you are.

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Well, they get asked, Padlin, and I'm kind of arguing with myself.

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Do they get bare-assed and in the Hall of Fame?

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Or do you think maybe we'll wait until they do another atrociousness,

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and then we'll get them?

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I'll tell them that off, see what they come up with.

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Okay, Walmart, you have a chance to redeem yourself, okay?

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Right now, you're not getting in the Hall of Fame, and it's not bare-ass.

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It's going to be a regular ass, Padlin, with a warning, with a strict, stern warning,

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a finger, you know, a stern finger in your face, no, no, no, and we'll leave it at that.

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So, next one, CBS for rolling out a second season of Ghost UK.

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Just try to stomach five minutes of that abortion, and you will agree.

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Also, for keeping Tony Romo employed.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%.

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Have you even seen Ghost UK?

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No.

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This is all opinion-based, by the way, so, you know, anyhow.

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Okay, it's about ghosts from the past that, like, certain people can see,

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and they're constantly fucking with people and saying stuff, and it's really,

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it's really just like, it's like a brain-dead comedy to me.

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I mean, you know, it's like, for the, for, like, people that, in my opinion,

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people that lack intelligence would think this is just crazy funny.

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Oh my God, look at this.

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That ghost is saying something funny, and only her, she can, she's the only one that can hear it,

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and she's giggling, and everybody's like looking at her like she's insane.

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Oh my God, that, oh, oh, geez, that's funny.

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Yeah.

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Yep, so, they getting ass-paddling.

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Next one, Whoopi Goldberg for bashing Gen Zers and Millennials on their work habits.

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Not every no-talent bag of shit lucks out like Whoopi and gets money thrown at him.

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I'm not sure who gets to get close enough to her ass to paddle her, though.

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That's gonna be tough, because who is gonna get close enough to her to paddle her ass?

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Who?

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Um, I think it's gonna be Short Straw, right?

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Yeah.

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Um, she should not comment on anybody, because she should just be thanking her lucky stars.

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She has employment that makes her filthy rich.

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Um, you talk about like just, you know, no talent, but like just getting, just getting money thrown at her.

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There you go.

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I would like she should be commenting on anybody and anybody else's potential income,

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because I think she needs to be thanking her lucky stars every fucking day for what she's got.

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So, next one, John Sherman for putting two counties, pitting, not putting,

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John Sherman for pitting two counties against each other for a stadium that we need a decent, you know,

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we don't need a new stadium, we'll need a decent baseball team.

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John Boy is ignoring the elephant in the room, not addressing the team's spending or lack of.

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He needs bare ass paddled, and this is John Sherman for pitting Jackson and Clay counties against each other

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for this potential new ballpark.

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It's taking the heat off him for putting up a shitty team that they hardly spend any money on.

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He's doing the little wag the dog.

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He's like pointing over there going, hey, we need a new stadium, while everyone's going,

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that abortion you just fucking threw out there on the field, you call that a major league team?

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No it isn't.

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How dare you insult our intelligence acting like that's a team?

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So, anyhow, John Sherman gets bare ass paddled.

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This is all opinion.

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I agree.

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Bulls mafia for giving us crickets when your team is lying down and taking it.

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So, when they're doing good, you cannot get away from them chirping.

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I don't care if the Chiefs are doing horrible, I still chirp.

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I still support them.

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Denver Broncos, those people come out in droves, shaking their fucking flags and wearing their gear.

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It's just the Bulls mafia kind of reminds me of a Raider fan.

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Whenever there's nothing going on, you don't hear anything from them.

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Whenever they're losing, nothing.

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Crickets.

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And for that, they all get ass paddled.

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Because at the very least, they should at least be defending their position like,

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hey, we got rid of our offensive coordinator and Josh Allen has a hand injury or something.

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Make something up if nothing else.

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But don't just sit there and act like you never was a fan or just quietly take it yourself.

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Be vocal.

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Fucking, you know, I just...

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Anyhow, I'll just move on.

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Next one.

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Big Lots for being open Thanksgiving Day.

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I can see a grocery store being open for people that forget an item, but not a variety of closeout stores.

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You know, I mean, it's pretty much a variety store of closeouts.

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And why they would be open on Thanksgiving, I can't think of one reason.

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Do you really want to go in there?

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Yeah, you want to go in there and buy ten AirPods for three bucks on Thanksgiving?

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I don't think so.

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Now, if you need some cranberry sauce you forgot or you ran out of stuffing,

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I can see a Price Chopper or SunFresh or a Hy-Vee being open.

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They have a reason to be open.

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Big Lots, I don't see one reason why they should be open and making employees work on Thanksgiving Day.

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So for that, they get an ass paddling.

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I second that.

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Alright, and last but not least, every fast food place that will be open on Thanksgiving Day.

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I can see a regular sit-down restaurant for people who won't get a proper Thanksgiving meal.

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Truck drivers, people with no family, people that live out of state and all their families in another state.

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Yeah, I could see that.

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Definitely.

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But a fast food meal like Dunkin', McD's, Burger Bitch, that's just to name a few of places that are going to be open.

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Now, I will preface this.

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Not all of them are going to be open.

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Burger King is franchises and certain franchises will not be open on Thanksgiving.

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But there's quite a few of them that are going to be open and I think the corporate stores are going to be open.

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McDonald's, not all of them are going to be open because there's a lot of franchises too.

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But I think the corporate ones are open and certain franchises are open.

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And Dunkin', I have no idea.

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I don't know about the inside of them.

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I don't know enough about them to find out if it's going to be certain stores or not or if they're all just going to be universally open.

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And then there's other ones too that are going to be open.

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And anyhow, in my opinion, they don't have to be.

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I don't think anyone's really seeking fast food on Thanksgiving Day.

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I think people are going to go get their turkey at Denny's or a truck stop or something like that where they actually have a real Thanksgiving type dinner.

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00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,000
So that concludes this at...

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At a restaurant.

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00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,000
Yes, yeah.

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Where they go in and they got their turkey, they got their stuffing, they got their cranberries, they got their roll, they got their green bean casserole, you know.

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And then they have their pumpkin or yam pie dessert.

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So anyhow, that is the last of the Ask Paddlings.

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00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:29,000
And how about we take a little break and we come back?

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00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,000
You got something you want to get to?

243
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,000
Yeah, I do.

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Okay, we'll be right back with Rob Radd's Whatever.

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Two thimble dicks and a crash cart will be right back.

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Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

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It's strange insults from an alien.

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Real hilarious.

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You have the personality of a soggy newspaper.

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00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:09,000
The apocalypse just happened.

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You don't know what to do.

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You don't know where to go.

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00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,000
But we can tell you what you can eat.

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00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:22,000
Elderberries can be a delicious and tasty treat in the wild.

255
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:28,000
During the apocalypse, this can be a great go-to food because it is also medicinal.

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00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,000
It helps with inflammation to headaches.

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And also, maybe you're sore from running from that radioactive antelope or whatever.

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Take some elderberries.

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00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:42,000
Maybe you can run a little bit faster and get away from the damn thing.

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00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:52,000
Hello? Hello? You still there? You were still listening. You must be really fucking bored.

261
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:56,000
Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.

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Man, Axel Rose is such a great childhood therapist.

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I hope he writes more books.

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Two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark.

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And I'm Rob.

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Alright, Rob. You said you have something you want to get to.

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Yes, I do.

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I have this week, Rasslin' News.

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Alright.

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It's not what I told you off the air. I've had to change stories.

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Okay?

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00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,000
Okay.

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00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,000
And I ran across this on Sports media.

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The WWE roster stopped over in Camp Ohio for one of two house shows on Saturday, November 18th.

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Which was yesterday to us.

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The event emanated from the Civic Center and featured top stars from the red brand.

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And I have the finals of the matches.

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Alright.

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00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:27,000
Jame Zane defeated NXT North American Champion Dominate Mysterio in a non-title match.

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See, I told you that the WWE wrestlers...

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00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,000
That's what I... okay.

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00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:40,000
...go back and forth to NXT and Dominate Mysterio is the great Rey Mysterio's son.

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00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,000
I was wondering that.

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00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,000
Who is playing heel.

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00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,000
Okay.

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00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:48,000
He was in a group called the Judgment Day.

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00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,000
I got a question real quick, Rob.

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Yeah.

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Is everyone that crosses over from the WWE, not NXT, but when they go to NXT, is it a

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00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:07,000
non-title match because they're from a different league?

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Or were the stars from the WWE invited to come over there and kick NXT's ass and get

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the title from them?

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00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:21,000
Well, Dominate Mysterio got.

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00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:25,000
He's part of WWE and he holds the North American Champion.

295
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,000
Okay.

296
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,000
In NXT.

297
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,000
Oh, okay.

298
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:34,000
So he got the title from this guy or he had the title?

299
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:35,000
Neither one had the title.

300
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:38,000
Well, he has the title.

301
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:41,000
Jame Zane is in WWE.

302
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,000
Dominate bounces.

303
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:44,000
Okay, okay.

304
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:48,000
So he goes both so you can't really say he's either.

305
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,000
Right.

306
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,000
Okay, I get it now.

307
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:51,000
Okay.

308
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:52,000
Do you see what I was asking though?

309
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:53,000
Yes.

310
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:54,000
I was asking...

311
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:55,000
Yes, I see.

312
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:59,000
I was wondering because you would think that WWE would be a little bit better.

313
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,000
They have the bigger stars, right?

314
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:06,000
Now what's to prevent someone from the WWE coming over and just wiping everybody's ass

315
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:13,000
out on NXT and taking everything and then jumping back over to the WWE is what I'm asking.

316
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:17,000
Is there rules in place that say, hey, you can't come over and smack these guys around

317
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:21,000
because you're a little bit bigger and a little bit better?

318
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,000
That's something I'm going to have to look into.

319
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:26,000
Yeah, because I mean think of it like this.

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00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:35,000
Let's say that the Royals went up to Omaha and started playing as bad as the Royals are.

321
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:40,000
They're still major league people, you know, and they're better than anyone in AAA.

322
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:44,000
But they went up to their AAA affiliate and played them, kicked the shit out of them and

323
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:45,000
took their title.

324
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,000
You see what I'm saying?

325
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,000
That would be a bit unfair, right?

326
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,000
Right.

327
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,000
Yeah, so, okay.

328
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:57,000
Yeah, let me know about that and let the people know about that because I think that's an

329
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,000
interesting scenario.

330
00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:59,000
I will.

331
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:00,000
Okay, cool.

332
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:03,000
Do you have anything more on that?

333
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:09,000
Yeah, the next match was Becky Lynch defeated Zoe Stark.

334
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,000
Okay.

335
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:20,000
Cody Rhodes defeated undisputed WWE Tag Team Champion Damian Priest who is part of the

336
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,000
Judgment Day group.

337
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:23,000
Okay.

338
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:28,000
Jack defeated Raquel Rodriguez.

339
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:32,000
Judgment Day, is this like a New World Order or something?

340
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,000
It's a fact.

341
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:40,000
It's a group of wrestlers that get together and there's three, four, five of them.

342
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:43,000
They team up on people, you know.

343
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:44,000
Okay, okay.

344
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:47,000
Sorry for interrupting, but I have these questions.

345
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:50,000
Now, you're right.

346
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:54,000
There was two title matches.

347
00:24:54,000 --> 00:25:06,000
The Intercontinental, or not North, the Intercontinental, Chet Chet, beat her, retains over Chad David.

348
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,000
Okay.

349
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:17,000
The World Heavyweight title match, which the belts held by Seth Rollins, retains over Drew

350
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:23,000
McIntyre and Shinsuke Nakamura in a triple flip match.

351
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:27,000
No title changes on Saturday night.

352
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:28,000
Uh-huh.

353
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,000
There you go.

354
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:31,000
Very cool.

355
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:34,000
Thank you, Rob.

356
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,000
Good.

357
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:41,000
All right, thank you for the update on the wrestling and we'll look forward to more of

358
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,000
those.

359
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:43,000
All right.

360
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:44,000
All week is what we agreed on.

361
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:45,000
Yep, yep.

362
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:50,000
And then we'll do more on our sports only show that we're going to kick off.

363
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,000
We'll talk about it off air.

364
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:53,000
Yeah.

365
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,000
And it'll be a different name.

366
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:56,000
We'll figure it out.

367
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:59,000
We'll figure out all the particulars off air.

368
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:02,000
So, I've got a neat story here.

369
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:05,000
You know, Kim Thal from Soundgarden, right?

370
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:06,000
Yeah.

371
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:13,000
You know that he doesn't really have any gear that he prefers at all.

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00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:18,000
You know, all these guitarists, you know, like Eddie Van Halen had the Frankenstein,

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00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:24,000
Franken guitar, and you know, Jimi Hendrix did his own wiring on amps and guitars to

374
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,000
come up with his own sound.

375
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:32,000
Jeff Beck very famously had his own sound because of his tremolo, which was himself,

376
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:35,000
wasn't a piece of machinery per se.

377
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:38,000
Okay, Kim Thal has no gear at all.

378
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:42,000
And he was in an interview with Guitar Magazine, I believe.

379
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:46,000
And he said that, you know, one time he was in a music store and he was searching for

380
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:51,000
this gear, you know, which was going to make him give him a sound, right?

381
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:56,000
And there was a child there, basically, I don't know, maybe like 10, 12 years old playing

382
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:57,000
eruption.

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00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:00,000
And he got the fuck out of there.

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00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:06,000
He's like, man, he goes, there's a 12 year old in there playing that intricate piece

385
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,000
eruption.

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00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:10,000
And he's like, he was kind of embarrassed.

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00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:15,000
Kim Thal was great as he is with great music that he wrote with Soundgarden.

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00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:20,000
I mean, one of my favorite guitarists for rhythm guitarists and a lot of his leads are

389
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:21,000
very cool.

390
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:25,000
Very Zeppelin-esque, in my opinion.

391
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:32,000
His chords and his leads are more to me kind of Jimmy Page stuff.

392
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:33,000
Very good.

393
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:38,000
But he heard a kid playing eruption and he got the fuck out of there.

394
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:42,000
Isn't it amazing how people see stuff?

395
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:48,000
You know, here he is to us, a great Kim Thal, wrote all this great music with Chris Cornell.

396
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,000
And his sound is very unique.

397
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,000
He's got a great sound.

398
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:57,000
And he has no gear because he never really went to music stores because that one time

399
00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:00,000
that kid came in there and played eruption in front of him.

400
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:05,000
He's like, fuck this, I'm out of here.

401
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:08,000
I found that amusing and cute.

402
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:11,000
And so it just shows you that everybody has a different perspective on stuff.

403
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:17,000
And there he was thinking he was inadequate because, you know, because he was a good

404
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:18,000
guy.

405
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:21,000
Because some kid could come in there and play eruption.

406
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:25,000
And eruption takes a lot of talent to play.

407
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:31,000
So, alright, you've heard of Bucky's in Texas, right?

408
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:32,000
Yeah.

409
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:33,000
Yeah.

410
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:39,000
Bucky's is like this huge fucking outlet truck stop store that has everything there.

411
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:41,000
It's a truck stop.

412
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:45,000
And it's spelled B-U-C-C-E-E-S.

413
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:48,000
And it has a chipmunk as its logo.

414
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,000
And they're primarily down in Texas.

415
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:54,000
Although they're building one in Springfield.

416
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:59,000
And I think they're building one up here on I-72 from what I read.

417
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:05,000
Anyhow, they have some competition that is coming to the Kansas City area.

418
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:09,000
And anyhow, it's a giant gas station like Bucky's.

419
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:12,000
It's called Wally's.

420
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:18,000
And in the past three years it's broken ground on three very large Midwest stores.

421
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:21,000
Each of them in excess of 30,000 square feet.

422
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:23,000
And it's a St. Louis based retailer.

423
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:26,000
Anyhow, they're opening up one around Kansas City.

424
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:32,000
And I have since, since this article has come out, have read where Bucky's is actually considered

425
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,000
a Kansas City location too.

426
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:39,000
Which I think is fantastic because the first time I went to Bucky's I'm going through there

427
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,000
and looking at all these, all this merchandise.

428
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:45,000
I mean, fucking acres and acres and acres of merchandise.

429
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:49,000
Food, clothing, boots.

430
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:53,000
Everything you can imagine is under that one truck stop store.

431
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,000
Knickknacks, wall mounts.

432
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:56,000
Everything you could think of.

433
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:59,000
CB radios, fucking regular stereos.

434
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,000
I mean, they have everything.

435
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:06,000
And I see a real sugar frozen Pepsi machine.

436
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:08,000
That is impossible to find.

437
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,000
But that was in Bucky's.

438
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:11,000
I was in heaven.

439
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:14,000
I got me a huge one and then we were off back to Missouri.

440
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,000
This is back when I was working out of town and was in the van.

441
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:21,000
And anyhow, Brian, the guy who's working with me, knew all about Bucky's.

442
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:22,000
I knew nothing about it.

443
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,000
He goes, hey, he goes, I need to get gas.

444
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:25,000
He goes, check out this place.

445
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:28,000
So we went to Bucky's and I was like, wah.

446
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:31,000
Fucking cool ass place.

447
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:34,000
So anyhow, it sounds like both places are expanding.

448
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,000
I've never been to Wally's.

449
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:39,000
So I have no idea.

450
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:41,000
You know what they're about.

451
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:44,000
But it sounds about the same thing as Bucky's.

452
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:47,000
So I can't wait for that.

453
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:57,000
Meanwhile, a British Columbia 15 year old broke two of his own Guinness World Records for stacking Jenga blocks.

454
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:01,000
And ended up becoming the basis for a Hallmark Christmas movie.

455
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:12,000
Aldine Maxwell set her first Guinness World Record in 2021 when she stacked up 638 Jenga blocks on a base compared to a single block.

456
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:21,000
He broke his own record later that year with 14,000 blocks and managed a similar feat with giant Jenga blocks stacking 500.

457
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:31,000
Maxwell has now broken both of his own records stacking 1,840 Jenga blocks on a single block and 900 giant Jenga blocks on a single block.

458
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:44,000
Maxwell's skills caught the attention of cable TV network Hallmark Movies and Mysteries, which turns his story into a film, A World Record Christmas, which premieres Thursday, which was last Thursday.

459
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:47,000
So if you didn't see it, you didn't see it.

460
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:52,000
The film stars Nicky Dolatch, Lucas Bryant and Elias Dahlman.

461
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:53,000
Yeah, bunch of unknowns.

462
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:59,000
Maxwell has a cameo in the film helping him achieve his goal of acting on the screen.

463
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:03,000
When he found out that it was actually happening, we were absolutely thrilled.

464
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:05,000
It felt like an out of body experience for me.

465
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:10,000
It's such an incredible honor for our family, Maxwell said on the film.

466
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:13,000
So there you go, friend of Jenga blocks.

467
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:14,000
There you go.

468
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:15,000
That's the guy.

469
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:19,000
Me, I couldn't give one ounce of shit about him, could you?

470
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,000
Yeah.

471
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:27,000
Um, Hidden Valley Ranch dressing, right?

472
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,000
Good stuff, right?

473
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:34,000
To me, the best ranch dressing you can buy that you don't make at home.

474
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:38,000
Really good, really rich, really creamy, great taste.

475
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:46,000
They came out with a double headed, double bottled ranch dressing.

476
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:52,000
The marketing of the county, of the country's most famous salad dressing has taken a turn for the surreal.

477
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:59,000
Hidden Valley Ranch has just announced an exciting partnership with itself to create the very first double ranch bottle.

478
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:04,000
A two headed spigot bottle that forms the shape of an uncanny X

479
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:10,000
with an idea that feels like it came straight from the cable episodes of Ricky and Morty.

480
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,000
Rick and Morty, yeah, I agree.

481
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:19,000
The company claims it could only work with its brand in order to make dressing worthy of its flavors.

482
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:26,000
The result is either a hilarious conversation piece or a novelty item.

483
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:33,000
The tongue in cheek collaboration with itself is a reference to the many food brand crossover events happening lately.

484
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:36,000
The press release calls it drop culture.

485
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:43,000
Anyhow, it's really unique and they're only making 227 of them so chances are you're not going to get one.

486
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:51,000
But it's two bottles that cross over like an X with two spouts coming off forming that X.

487
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:53,000
You see what I'm saying?

488
00:33:53,000 --> 00:34:00,000
The two bottles, they join in at the spout and then you squeeze it, each side comes out ranch dressing.

489
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:08,000
So you can ranch up two salads or whatever you want at one time.

490
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:15,000
And there's no purpose for this but just a novelty.

491
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:21,000
If I was lucky enough to get one, which I'm probably not going to get one 227 of them, I would have it on display.

492
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:29,000
As a matter of fact, I would put it here in the Talk is Cheap Studio, probably right next to the Fuck Off sign.

493
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,000
That'd be a good place for it.

494
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:32,000
It would be, yeah.

495
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:35,000
So look, I got the double ranch Fuck Off.

496
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:42,000
Or I could put it right under the beautiful Falstaff beer sign.

497
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:45,000
Nah, nah, it goes above the Fuck Off.

498
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,000
Yeah.

499
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:49,000
Yep.

500
00:34:49,000 --> 00:35:01,000
So, let's see, there was a horse that got loose on a plane bound for Belgium.

501
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:06,000
And it started roaming the compartments.

502
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:07,000
Yeah.

503
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:16,000
And anyhow, it took him a long time to get it corralled because of course, you know, it's on a plane and I'm sure it's freaking out.

504
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:19,000
You know, the horse can feel the difference that's in the area.

505
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:24,000
But it got loose from his cage and was roaming around and they were like scurrying.

506
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:25,000
It took him hours.

507
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,000
Good thing it was a long plane ride.

508
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:31,000
It took him hours to get this horse corralled and back in his cage.

509
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:35,000
And they have some video footage of it and it is funnier than hell.

510
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:41,000
It looked like slapstick comedy where people are like falling all over each other trying to get this horse in.

511
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:45,000
This horse is running around eluding them and no one can quite get it.

512
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:50,000
And if you get close enough to it, it just might buck you so you can't get that close to it.

513
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:57,000
And they were very unprepared for something like that to happen because they really had no equipment to corral the horse.

514
00:35:57,000 --> 00:36:01,000
So it was just them and like five guys they had handy to do this.

515
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:04,000
And if you get a chance, look it up online.

516
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:05,000
It is funny.

517
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:10,000
It's like I said, it's like slapstick comedy.

518
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:17,000
So Southwest is adding red-eye flights.

519
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:21,000
They were infamous for being the early morning daytime only flights.

520
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:24,000
And they would pretty much shut it down at night.

521
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:27,000
Frontier does a lot of red-eye flights.

522
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:31,000
And the red-eye flights are generally like repositioning a plane.

523
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,000
And they are pretty cheap.

524
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:38,000
Well, Southwest is going to start coming in on the red-eye flight business.

525
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:43,000
And it's going to be interesting because there needs to be a little bit more red-eye flights in my opinion.

526
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:47,000
I would rather do a red-eye flight than an early morning flight.

527
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:51,000
Because the reason is because you can get to where you're going.

528
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,000
Right?

529
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:58,000
And you can get there late that night and be there fresh for the next morning.

530
00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:04,000
You get a couple hours sleep, you wake up and you're on your way to whatever your destination is.

531
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,000
You have all day to do whatever you want to do.

532
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:09,000
I hate it whenever the day is split in half.

533
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:13,000
Like let's say you're going to Florida.

534
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:16,000
So from here that's a three hour flight.

535
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,000
So you get there in three hours.

536
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:22,000
And usually you don't get on the plane until seven or eight.

537
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,000
The plane doesn't leave like seven or eight.

538
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,000
So then half of the day is gone.

539
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:27,000
Then the time change.

540
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:28,000
By the time you get there it's noon.

541
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:32,000
By the time you get to your rental car or your Uber or anything.

542
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:35,000
By the time you get anywhere it's one or two.

543
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,000
So that whole day is pretty much gone.

544
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:38,000
You only have a few hours.

545
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:39,000
You're tired as hell.

546
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:40,000
You got up early.

547
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:41,000
So that whole day is wiped out.

548
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:45,000
A red eye you can get there at like maybe three in the morning.

549
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,000
It's easier to get a hotel.

550
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:49,000
You go to your hotel.

551
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,000
Sleep until maybe seven or eight.

552
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:52,000
Nine.

553
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:55,000
You wake up and you got the rest of the day to do whatever.

554
00:37:55,000 --> 00:38:00,000
So I like the idea of more red eyed flights because there isn't that many going on right now.

555
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:05,000
And I think there's a whole other market for red eyed flights.

556
00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:07,000
Anyhow, you got anything to add Rob?

557
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:14,000
If not we're going to cut this down here because I have to get to work.

558
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:17,000
Krispy Kreme has some new donuts here real quick.

559
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:20,000
They have a cinnamon latte lover donut.

560
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:23,000
They have a spiced apple filled donut.

561
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:27,000
A chocolate iced with autumn sprinkles donut.

562
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:30,000
A pumpkin spiced cake donut.

563
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:35,000
And there is also a caramel pecan brownie donut.

564
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:42,000
Anyhow, those are the new flavors from Krispy Kreme that quite frankly sound pretty delicious, don't they?

565
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,000
Yeah, yeah.

566
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:47,000
Yep.

567
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:53,000
Blackberry crisp filled donut that tastes just like grandma approved dessert is what they say.

568
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:59,000
The chocolate iced autumn sprinkle donut is exactly what it sounds like.

569
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:03,000
A big bowl of deliciousness.

570
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:08,000
I like the fact that Krispy Kreme has come up with new ideas because I don't know.

571
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:12,000
I kind of feel like their brand kind of got stale, didn't it?

572
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,000
Yeah.

573
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:16,000
They used to have that hot now sign.

574
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:21,000
And that means that they just came out of the vat and they were just crazy delicious.

575
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:23,000
I don't think they do that anymore.

576
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:28,000
I think the rush got too big and people just, you know, they just quit going, I think.

577
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,000
Whatever said.

578
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,000
That could be.

579
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:31,000
Yeah, so.

580
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:34,000
Anyhow, like I said a minute ago, I know I'm all over the place.

581
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:39,000
You got anything you want to add, Rob, or we're going to cut this bitch down and everybody have a good day.

582
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:42,000
I've got a final thought.

583
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,000
That sounds great to me.

584
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:50,000
We're at Thanksgiving approaching this week.

585
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:51,000
Gobble, gobble.

586
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:52,000
What's that?

587
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:53,000
Huh?

588
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:54,000
Gobble, gobble.

589
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:55,000
Yeah.

590
00:39:55,000 --> 00:40:08,000
A little friendly reminder to put all current boyfriends and girlfriends at the edge of the family photos so they can easily be cropped out later.

591
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:11,000
That is solid advice.

592
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,000
Solid advice.

593
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:15,000
I love that.

594
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:17,000
Anyhow, thank you all for joining us.

595
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:25,000
We're going to have a couple of bit segments, older ones, that I'm going to personally pick out for you guys, but I got to get to work.

596
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:29,000
Rob's got some masturbating to do or something, I guess, right?

597
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:30,000
Whatever.

598
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:31,000
Whatever I decide to.

599
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:32,000
That's my bet.

600
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:33,000
He could masturbate.

601
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,000
He could go outside.

602
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:36,000
I don't know.

603
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:42,000
He could, I don't know, go to the neighbors and just scream in their window if you wanted, right?

604
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,000
She'd probably kick my ass.

605
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:45,000
Okay.

606
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:47,000
Then maybe not that.

607
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:49,000
Okay, maybe some masturbating, right?

608
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:50,000
Yeah.

609
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:51,000
Okay.

610
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:52,000
All right.

611
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:55,000
Okay, well whatever Rob chooses to do, I'll be at work.

612
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:58,000
Anyhow, tonight I will be with family.

613
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:05,000
Hopefully we are going to go someplace cool and hang out, maybe watch a Sunday night game and have a couple of beers and bullshit.

614
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:07,000
So yeah, everybody have a great night.

615
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:08,000
Thank you for joining us.

616
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,000
You're going to get a best of segment next.

617
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:14,000
I suggest you hold on to it and listen to it because it will be thrilling, like always.

618
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:15,000
Anyhow, thank you for joining us.

619
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:17,000
Have a great night.

620
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:19,000
Thank you.

621
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:25,000
Coming up, a blast from the past.

622
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:30,000
This is where we take old shows and incorporate them into new shows.

623
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:34,000
Because you fucks refuse to go get it.

624
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:40,000
Have I ever told you about my prank phone call deal that I used to do?

625
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:41,000
No.

626
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:52,000
Well, this is the old quick trip in Belvedere, the one right off the highway, right off of 71 or 49 or whatever, at 155th Street, down there in that little pit there, right off the exit ramp.

627
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,000
There used to be a quick trip.

628
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:57,000
And one day I'm like in there getting a soda or some shit, right?

629
00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:59,000
And I noticed the phone rang.

630
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:02,000
Is this probably a drug deal or something?

631
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:03,000
Yeah.

632
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:05,000
And some guy jumps out of his car and starts answering.

633
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:08,000
I'm like, huh, they know those things had numbers.

634
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:13,000
Not only did I not know they have numbers, I didn't realize that people fucking answer them.

635
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:14,000
Yeah.

636
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:19,000
The idea of calling into a pay phone didn't occur to me until I saw someone do it on a TV show.

637
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:20,000
I was like, what?

638
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:21,000
Yeah.

639
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:22,000
You can do that?

640
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:27,000
I thought it's just one way you got on there and said, hey, I'm down here at the quick trip, man.

641
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:34,000
Whenever you want to come down, you know, I got the I got the pet cage and the and the rubbers.

642
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:42,000
So so anyhow, so I walk over there and I get a pen from the guy in the quick trip and wrote down the numbers.

643
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:43,000
There's like three of them.

644
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:47,000
And they're like, you know, in a little semicircle.

645
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:51,000
And back in the days, I mean, like you mentioned the other day, how nasty that was.

646
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:52,000
Yeah.

647
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:57,000
Some guy get up there and start spitting all over the phone, talking, and then you go pick it up right after.

648
00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:58,000
Yeah.

649
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:01,000
Jam it right up to the hole in your face that you eat through.

650
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:06,000
Now, when I think about it, I cringe.

651
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:11,000
So anyhow, it is probably a dirt bag from Belvedere anyhow, with no teeth.

652
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:18,000
You know, so anyhow, I get these numbers down and anyhow, one day I'm over my friend Davies and we're bored.

653
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:20,000
I go, hey, man, I got something we can do.

654
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:21,000
What's that?

655
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:22,000
See these three numbers?

656
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:23,000
Yeah.

657
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,000
There's a number to the pay phones in Belvedere.

658
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:26,000
Quick trip.

659
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:27,000
Oh, really?

660
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:30,000
Let's just call it and fuck with people.

661
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:31,000
Sure.

662
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:32,000
OK.

663
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:35,000
So, you know, we call up and the first time it took a long time.

664
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:36,000
I don't think anyone was there.

665
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:37,000
Someone answered hello.

666
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:38,000
Oh, you know, this is pay phone.

667
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,000
I go, hey, you know, you're a dickhead.

668
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:43,000
You know, just start screwing with them.

669
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:45,000
Yeah, you're a piece of shit, man.

670
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,000
Hey, you know, I got right next to me who?

671
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:48,000
Your mom.

672
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:49,000
Yeah.

673
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:50,000
You know, people get pissed off.

674
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:51,000
Fuck you, bitch.

675
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:52,000
And all this stuff.

676
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:57,000
So anyhow, we, you know, we call them up and harass and people get so fucking mad.

677
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:58,000
You know, we get them so mad.

678
00:43:58,000 --> 00:43:59,000
They threaten to kill us.

679
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:01,000
They're going to come over and we're like, well, you're going to kill me when you don't

680
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:02,000
know where I'm at, bitch.

681
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:10,000
You know what this before this is in maybe early 90s at the most late 80s, whatever,

682
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:11,000
somewhere in that time frame.

683
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:14,000
And I mean, it was just I mean, we had nothing else to do.

684
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:16,000
So we'd call up and just get people so mad.

685
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:18,000
David used to do this farmer oppression.

686
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:23,000
They used to tell a guy that his fucking goats were in his yard and he was mad or he fucking

687
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:25,000
cattle trampled my fucking sheep.

688
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:26,000
You bitch.

689
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:28,000
I don't have I don't have no farm.

690
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:29,000
Yeah, you do.

691
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:30,000
You son of a bitch.

692
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:31,000
I know this is you, Mr. Johnson.

693
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:36,000
You get your ass over here and you get my dead fucking sheep and you better fucking bury.

694
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,000
And if you don't, I'm going to come over there.

695
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:39,000
I'm going to slap the stupid out of you.

696
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:42,000
And that's going to take all day because you're pretty fucking stupid.

697
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:44,000
And he would just keep railing on him.

698
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:48,000
And the people get so mad and argue about I don't have a farm.

699
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:50,000
I ain't got no farm.

700
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:51,000
You dumb son of a bitch.

701
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:53,000
And he would just keep going.

702
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:54,000
Ain't got no farm.

703
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:55,000
You dumb son of a bitch.

704
00:44:55,000 --> 00:45:00,000
And these people get so mad.

705
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,000
So anyhow, one day I'm over there.

706
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:04,000
I'm like, hmm, you know, it's starting to get boring.

707
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:06,000
People get mad and they hang up.

708
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:09,000
Then a lot of people just go, fuck you, you know, and hang up.

709
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:10,000
The smarter ones do.

710
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:11,000
Yeah.

711
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:16,000
And although I question them answering a pay phone, you know, this is a pay phone, don't

712
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:17,000
you?

713
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:20,000
You know, it's like, OK, I heard that one before.

714
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:21,000
All right.

715
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:22,000
Hang on.

716
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:23,000
Oh, yeah, you're right.

717
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:24,000
I'm sorry.

718
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:25,000
I'm sorry.

719
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:26,000
What do you do?

720
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,000
I noticed there's a White House right behind there.

721
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:31,000
So anyhow, I'm like, hmm, OK, all right.

722
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:33,000
Everyone always wants to know where I live at.

723
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:36,000
I guess I'm going to live in that White House right behind the pay phone.

724
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:40,000
So anyhow, you know, most people are just kind of like they hang up and they don't want

725
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:41,000
to go to that White House.

726
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:46,000
This one guy that I was fucking with just constantly going, hey, you piece of shit, man.

727
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:49,000
Yeah, you just don't sound right without a dick in your mouth.

728
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:50,000
You sound completely different.

729
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:54,000
You're a bald gargler and all this stuff, man.

730
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:55,000
You smell like chode.

731
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:58,000
And this guy's just getting fucking madder than you.

732
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:00,000
I'm going to beat the shit out of you.

733
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:01,000
Where you at?

734
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:02,000
I go, you want to know where I'm at, bitch?

735
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:03,000
Yeah.

736
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:04,000
Over there.

737
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:05,000
Look to your left.

738
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:06,000
Oh, no, no, not that left.

739
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:07,000
The other left, moron.

740
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:10,000
See that left over there?

741
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,000
See that White House?

742
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:13,000
I'm right here, motherfucker.

743
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:14,000
I'm looking out the window.

744
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:17,000
I'm waiting for your fucking fat ass to come beat me up.

745
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:21,000
I'm going to smack the stupid out of you and I'm going to do it in front of everybody.

746
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:24,000
I'm going to call people over to watch me smack the fuck out of you.

747
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:25,000
And this guy's getting mad.

748
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:27,000
Oh, you son of a bitch.

749
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:29,000
I'm going to fucking kill you.

750
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:31,000
And I'm pretty sure the guy went over there.

751
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:32,000
He was so mad.

752
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:35,000
So he was so mad that he didn't even completely hang up.

753
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:37,000
I heard it go click and then it fell on the ground.

754
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:39,000
So he didn't look back or nothing.

755
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:41,000
And anyhow, I hear a car peeling out.

756
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:46,000
So I don't know about that guy in that White House, but I'm pretty sure he got into a pretty good fight.

757
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:50,000
Yeah.

758
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:52,000
And anyhow, I looked at the police blotter the next day.

759
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:56,000
Man in White House beaten to death by outrage.

760
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:57,000
There wasn't an internet.

761
00:46:57,000 --> 00:47:05,000
So it's like one of those deals where you had to wait for one of those little regional magazines like the South Side or whatever.

762
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:07,000
The Grandview Circle or whatever.

763
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:10,000
The Grandview Dick Smack or whatever.

764
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:13,000
One of those stupid little fucking mags to come out.

765
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:16,000
South Side idiot, whatever.

766
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:19,000
So hey, I never did find out, you know, and I didn't want to know.

767
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:23,000
I was afraid someone might have got killed that whole stuff up, you know, but yeah, could be.

768
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:25,000
It was at the hands of entertainment.

769
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:26,000
So I justified it.

770
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:27,000
Yeah.

771
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:29,000
Were you briefly entertained?

772
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:31,000
Oh, I was entertained for a while.

773
00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:38,000
I mean, especially the guys that just continue to get mad and just continue to try to insult you and one up you without a brain.

774
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:39,000
Yeah.

775
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:46,000
And you continue like Davey just roll over so many insults on him and they just keep getting madder and madder.

776
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:47,000
Oh, yeah.

777
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:48,000
Fuck you.

778
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:49,000
Oh, my God.

779
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:50,000
You got me.

780
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:53,000
Oh, you went to the F bomb.

781
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:55,000
Oh, someone get me some iced tea.

782
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:56,000
Oh, my God.

783
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:57,000
Oh, the pain.

784
00:47:57,000 --> 00:48:01,000
You know, hey, how so the fine.

785
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:04,000
The finality was ice calling down there.

786
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:05,000
And this is later.

787
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:07,000
I got bored with it and I went back to it.

788
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:15,000
And this chick answers and I started saying something, you know, just started blathering some sort of shit to try to piss her off.

789
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:18,000
She goes, Mark Wallace.

790
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:23,000
Ah, oops.

791
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:25,000
Who is this?

792
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:27,000
This is Danielle.

793
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:28,000
Oh, fuck.

794
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:31,000
What are you doing calling a pay phone?

795
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:33,000
Long story.

796
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:34,000
She busted me.

797
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:38,000
That was the last time I called him like, fuck, man, that's it, man.

798
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:40,000
So far, anymore is done.

799
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:42,000
Yep.

800
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:43,000
Cancel Christmas.

801
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:44,000
Yeah.

802
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:48,000
Pharmacy's closed.

803
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:55,000
We are to do so to microphone as charming as a leaky sewer pipe.

804
00:48:55,000 --> 00:49:02,000
Well, you know, I got a neat little story here about a little prank that me and Davey, my friend that I refer to often.

805
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:03,000
Oh, yes.

806
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:05,000
You know, the old Banister Mall.

807
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:06,000
Remember that?

808
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:07,000
Oh, yeah.

809
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:08,000
Oh, yeah.

810
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:10,000
Boy, that was a that was an area for a lot of fucking fun.

811
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:12,000
We used to get away with murder at that place.

812
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:14,000
We've done the stupidest shit.

813
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:21,000
Well, there is a security guard, little short little fucker, little kind of little dumpy little guy named Sam.

814
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:22,000
And he hated us long hair.

815
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:25,000
We're in there getting all the chicks and he didn't fucking like it.

816
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:26,000
Yeah.

817
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:29,000
Sam used to always try to get me kicked out.

818
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:33,000
And Davey, too, but more me, he really hated me for some reason.

819
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:37,000
So he always threw me and he got me kicked out for about two weeks.

820
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:41,000
Then we went to court and the judge said you can't kick him out.

821
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:43,000
It's a public mall.

822
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:44,000
Yeah.

823
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:54,000
So anyhow, you know, one of the biggest ways to sell the hoax is to we found this out was to have a setup guy that no one knew.

824
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:56,000
Just a guy to confirm what you're saying.

825
00:49:56,000 --> 00:49:57,000
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

826
00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:00,000
I did see that monkey over there.

827
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,000
Last I saw him, he was on top of that building.

828
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:04,000
He was throwing shit at somebody.

829
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:05,000
The random witness.

830
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:06,000
You see him disappear.

831
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:07,000
Yes.

832
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:11,000
So this guy.

833
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:15,000
OK, this is a banister mall, early 1980s.

834
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:18,000
Me and my good buddy Davey were hanging out.

835
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:24,000
And we were crazy long hairs that the average teen would follow, you know, because we're long hairs.

836
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:27,000
And we're kind of like the Pied Piper of teens.

837
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:30,000
People would like used to look at us and go, well, there's the party.

838
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:33,000
Let's just follow them around until they go to it.

839
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:34,000
I've done that.

840
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:35,000
Yeah.

841
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:36,000
They used to do it all the time.

842
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:38,000
We'd be like, where are you guys going?

843
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:39,000
Cleveland, Ohio?

844
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:40,000
No, Missouri.

845
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:42,000
That guy looks like he might have beer.

846
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:43,000
Yeah.

847
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:44,000
Yeah.

848
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:45,000
Yeah.

849
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:46,000
So they just start following us.

850
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:47,000
And that's just the way we were.

851
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:48,000
And then we'd all introduce.

852
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:50,000
Hey, I'm so and so.

853
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:51,000
I'm so and so.

854
00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:54,000
You know, we'd have a good time Cleveland Lake or something.

855
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:57,000
You know, slamming beers, doing stupid shit.

856
00:50:57,000 --> 00:51:04,000
So Davey and I had certain buddies that would walk up and hear the bullshit that was you in and then help seal the deal.

857
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:06,000
You know, they'd sell it completely.

858
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:11,000
You know, one guy that walked around to help us was a punker named Jason.

859
00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:16,000
Jason was really cool because he looked like the type of guy that wouldn't like us.

860
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:19,000
But we got to talking to him.

861
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:23,000
And we, you know, we saw eye to eye on everything except music.

862
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:25,000
Everything else, we were the same.

863
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:29,000
You know, fuck society, fuck the average guy, fuck this, fuck that.

864
00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:34,000
You know, but when it came to music, you know, we're like fucking listen to Motley Crue and shit like that.

865
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:43,000
And he was listening to, I don't know, the Ramones or, you know, or even deeper than that, you know, dead Kennedy's, the germs.

866
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:46,000
Television.

867
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:47,000
Yeah.

868
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:48,000
Yeah.

869
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:49,000
He was a real punker.

870
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:54,000
So he had an orange Mohawk.

871
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:55,000
Sweet.

872
00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:58,000
Or a black spiked leather.

873
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:00,000
And Doc Martens.

874
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:03,000
So, I mean, you know, you got the guy, right?

875
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:05,000
You know, you know who I'm talking about.

876
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:07,000
So great guy, though.

877
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:09,000
I'd love to know what happened to him.

878
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:12,000
So, Jason, if you happen to hear this abortion, please.

879
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:15,000
Oh, I guess that's a bad word now, isn't it?

880
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:17,000
This atrocity.

881
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:18,000
There we go.

882
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:24,000
If you happen to hear this horrible atrocity, then, you know, hey, send us an email.

883
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:25,000
Yeah.

884
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:28,000
I forgot what the valid email is.

885
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:32,000
We put so many bullshit ones out there, we can't remember our real place.

886
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:37,000
There is a valid one and I can't remember what the hell it is.

887
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:40,000
We also have an actual real phone number.

888
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:42,000
Hell if I know that one either.

889
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:46,000
Yeah, so I can't even remember the real one.

890
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:48,000
So, show prep.

891
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:50,000
Yeah.

892
00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:56,000
Here I was talking about show prep and making a big deal out of it and I can't even remember our email.

893
00:52:56,000 --> 00:53:03,000
So, anyhow, meanwhile, there's this one security guard named Sam that I kind of alluded to or actually went into a little bit.

894
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:07,000
Sam was a jealous little pussy bitch.

895
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:14,000
He constantly tried to get me kicked out and barred from all and like I said earlier, he did for a while for a couple of weeks and we went to court.

896
00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:18,000
I got back in which really fumed his ass, burned his ass.

897
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:21,000
Because every time I seen him, I was like overzealous about it.

898
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:23,000
Hi Sam, how are you?

899
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:26,000
You came over for dinner tonight, little guy?

900
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:29,000
A little tiny bit of authority and it's gone.

901
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:32,000
You look cute today.

902
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:34,000
I beeped his nose one time.

903
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:37,000
He came out with unglued.

904
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:41,000
So, you know, me and David used to play moon tricks on Sam Cost.

905
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:43,000
Sounds like he deserved it.

906
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:45,000
Oh, he did, you know.

907
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:49,000
So, we quickly went to Jason to be the casual guy walking by to sell it.

908
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:57,000
So, Jason's over in the corner where the movie theaters upstairs used to be because then they went downstairs for a while and then they disappeared.

909
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:58,000
Oh, yeah.

910
00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:00,000
Yeah, they used to be upstairs, mid upstairs.

911
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:03,000
So, I think right across from food court maybe.

912
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:05,000
I'm sorry if I remember correctly.

913
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:11,000
Now in my mind I'm getting confused with word Parkway because their movie theaters shifted around a bit too.

914
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:19,000
Okay, well anyhow, this is when they were upstairs because I remember that part well because people were coming in to go to movies and were screwing with them.

915
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:22,000
So, David and I set this one up perfectly.

916
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:30,000
We had a buddy that he won a backstage pass to Great White.

917
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:31,000
Oh, yeah.

918
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:32,000
Remember them?

919
00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:34,000
It's a video shoot, okay, as an extra.

920
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:35,000
Oh, that'd be cool.

921
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:36,000
Yeah.

922
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:41,000
And he was in it, I don't know if it was once bit or something else, but he was in it.

923
00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:44,000
And so, and on the back was stamped used.

924
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:45,000
Yeah.

925
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:48,000
But on the front it had an MTV logo.

926
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:50,000
It didn't have a specific band.

927
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,000
It just had, it didn't say Great White.

928
00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:55,000
It just said extra for MTV video shoot.

929
00:54:55,000 --> 00:55:00,000
And I remember really well it was green with an orange MTV on it with their famous logo.

930
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:01,000
Yeah.

931
00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:11,000
It was really cool looking and it was like made with some sort of a, some sort of a really thick paper and it was engraved, I guess.

932
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:12,000
Oh, yeah.

933
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:13,000
Yeah, it was raised.

934
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:14,000
It felt great.

935
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:15,000
It felt like the seal of something.

936
00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:16,000
Embossed paper.

937
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:17,000
Embossed paper.

938
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:18,000
Raise printing.

939
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:19,000
Raise printing, whatever.

940
00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:21,000
Makes it a lot harder to counterfeit.

941
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:23,000
Plus, it makes it look cool.

942
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:25,000
So, our friend agreed to let us borrow this for a little while.

943
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:27,000
We got it back to him like we said.

944
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:31,000
We didn't tear it up or steal it or nothing.

945
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:36,000
So, Davey started waving the card in the air and making fun of me because he got this and I didn't.

946
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:41,000
He was like, hey, I'm going to be on this, I'm going to be on this whatever.

947
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:42,000
You know.

948
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:43,000
Yeah.

949
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:50,000
So, he's waving around going, I'm going to be on the video and you're not because you're too stupid and you couldn't win and all that stuff.

950
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:57,000
So, this magical card was supposed to be a freebie to be an extra on the set of MTV.

951
00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:59,000
This is what we set it up to be, right?

952
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:01,000
A list of hundreds of bands.

953
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:08,000
The secret MTV guy walking around, he was walking around the mall and this was going to be Sam eventually.

954
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:15,000
So, the secret MTV guy that has these free magical passes was Sam only he didn't know anything.

955
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:17,000
So, Davey's like, da, da, da.

956
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:20,000
Fucking asshole.

957
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:24,000
So, automatically, see people getting ready to walk in, right?

958
00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:27,000
Getting ready to go to movies.

959
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:29,000
Just like magnetic.

960
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:30,000
They're just staring at us.

961
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:32,000
And Davey's like, da, da, da, da.

962
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:33,000
And all this stuff.

963
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:34,000
Man, that sucks, man.

964
00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:35,000
You get to go and I don't.

965
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:40,000
So, Davey is waving this around making fun of me and Jason will walk by.

966
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:44,000
They go, yeah, I fucking 112, I threw it at him because there's no punk bands on him.

967
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:45,000
Fuck that.

968
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:47,000
I don't want to go.

969
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:50,000
So, all of a sudden, those kids are fucking coming over.

970
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:52,000
What was this?

971
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:55,000
So, that's so clever.

972
00:56:55,000 --> 00:56:56,000
Oh, yeah.

973
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:57,000
We set it up perfect.

974
00:56:57,000 --> 00:57:06,000
So, the reason that we picked Sam to do this on that day was because we had the card for a couple of days.

975
00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:08,000
He's wearing plain clothes.

976
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:14,000
And I guess he thought he was going to catch soft lifters or something not wearing his little fucking bitch outfit that he normally wore.

977
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:21,000
So, Jason, instead of us, goes, yeah, that fucking little douche right there is the one.

978
00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:22,000
That's the secret MTV guy.

979
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:23,000
We didn't even say it.

980
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:24,000
He did it.

981
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:25,000
It sold it even more.

982
00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:31,000
Because all these teens are like, fucking their heads spun around and they're staring at them.

983
00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:37,000
So, Jason said, yeah, he goes, yeah, I bit him on the ear to get one.

984
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:42,000
So, the story was this.

985
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:44,000
It's getting better and better.

986
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:48,000
The more outrageous you were, the more likely you were to get a free pass.

987
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:50,000
It was perfect.

988
00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:51,000
Yeah.

989
00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:59,000
So, automatically, he had like fucking 50 teens jumping in front of him, fucking biting his ear, kicking him in the ass.

990
00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:02,000
One guy was clucking like a chicken in the space.

991
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:04,000
Another guy was like, look, look, look, look, I'm a bird.

992
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:08,000
Some guy fucking jumped off to one side.

993
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:13,000
Another guy ripped off one of the trees and hit him with a switch.

994
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:16,000
And Sam was just fucking freaking out, man.

995
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:17,000
He's like, what the fuck?

996
00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:18,000
And they're like, we want a pass.

997
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:19,000
We want a pass.

998
00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:21,000
He's like, what pass?

999
00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:24,000
This probably went on for fucking 25 minutes.

1000
00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:26,000
He was losing his mind.

1001
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:27,000
Yes, he was.

1002
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:28,000
He didn't know what was going on.

1003
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:29,000
What planet did I wake up on?

1004
00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:32,000
He'd get 10 teens away from him, right?

1005
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:35,000
And then you have 10 more teens attacking.

1006
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:37,000
So, we leave.

1007
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:39,000
We let this go on and let it go downhill.

1008
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:42,000
And those teens told another one, get the pass from that fucker.

1009
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:43,000
He didn't give us anything.

1010
00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:47,000
So, this just kept rolling on and rolling on and rolling on.

1011
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:50,000
So, we come back a couple hours later.

1012
00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:52,000
We went to, oh, no, I know what we did.

1013
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:54,000
We went to Andy's Santa Fe and had a burrito.

1014
00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:55,000
I remember the Andy's.

1015
00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:59,000
And we weren't even old enough to drink, but we still did because they never carted there.

1016
00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:01,000
We both had margaritas.

1017
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:04,000
We were fucking laughing at our feet on the table and shit.

1018
00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:08,000
Davey had fucking flip flops on, so they eventually got mad and kicked us out.

1019
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:10,000
Because you could see his toenails hanging out.

1020
00:59:10,000 --> 00:59:12,000
People didn't like that.

1021
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:15,000
So, hey, we get back in.

1022
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:18,000
And all of a sudden we see Sam coming by, all the shovels.

1023
00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:20,000
By this time, everything was gone.

1024
00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:21,000
It was all said and done.

1025
00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:26,000
I go, hey, Sam, do you want to know where all that came from?

1026
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:27,000
Us.

1027
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:29,000
Davey pulled out the cart and said, see this?

1028
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:31,000
I go, yeah, you just been had, bitch.

1029
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:32,000
Oh, he was fucking furious.

1030
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:35,000
He turned around and said, you motherfucker, I'm going to get you out of here.

1031
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:37,000
I'm going to get you guys kicked out for good.

1032
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:39,000
I go, what for?

1033
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:42,000
I didn't do anything to get Sam all.

1034
00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:46,000
We didn't get kicked out.

1035
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:49,000
That was one of the best fucking pranks we ever played.

1036
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:50,000
It was brilliant.

1037
00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:51,000
And I just thought about it the other day.

1038
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:54,000
I'm like, my God.

1039
00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:59,000
There are some other ones I've got to remember that we did to him, too.

1040
00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:02,000
And then I got another one.

1041
01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:05,000
You listen to the solo cast, right?

1042
01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:07,000
I'm going to tell the story about the nut-biter.

1043
01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:08,000
Oh, yes.

1044
01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:09,000
Oh, gosh.

1045
01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:10,000
Biggin'.

1046
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:33,000
Biggin'.