Live from the historic river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the crystal blue
waters of the Missouri River, it's Two Douchebags and a Microphone Podcast.
Invisible ass paddlings, new douche flavors and horrible pranks? What the fuck is wrong
with these guys?
The apocalypse just happened. You don't know what to do. You don't know where to go. But
we can tell you what you can eat.
Dirt and apocalypse, don't forget the nuts. Hickory nuts that is. Yeah, we know, hickory
wood gets all the glory and all the love. Everyone loves the hickory trees, they cut
them down and they make great sandwiches out of barbecue and meats. They smoke them and
it's a fantastic deal. But little does anyone know about the hickory nuts. Dirt and apocalypse
hickory nuts could be the best thing you could find.
Hickory nuts can be eaten raw, toasted or added to various recipes. Their rich buttery flavor
and crunchy texture make them an ideal ingredient for both sweet and savory dishes. You can
use hickory nuts to make nut butter, pesto or even a unique hickory nut milk. There are
five types of hickory nuts.
Bitter nut hickory, shag bark hickory, pig nut hickory, mockernut hickory and smooth bark
hickory.
Hickory trees are considered part of the walnut species and are plentiful at least around
Missouri and surrounding areas. So, dirt and apocalypse, don't forget to grab your nuts.
and download it on there. These f**kers need all the help we can get.
said last night on well it'd be the last podcast when I think it'll probably be broadcast maybe
tomorrow it'll be probably posted then what I was saying was is I was having my colonoscopy
today and I was gonna get an asshole hair rating for everybody right?
Yes.
Evidently there's nothing down there to really talk about I am NOT the guy Rob is the only
guy that is going to be in this contest that is from Two Douchebags and Microphone unless
Topher comes out of the woodwork and says hey I've got asshole hair you know then other
than that no.
Nope I am I am not a good candidate from what I understand for some reason I do not have
a whole lot of asshole hair to be proud of I'm sorry I failed you guys but I'm not the
guy so.
And I'm out of the competition.
So both douchebags are out but we got plenty of other people so.
Now as for the Topher Topher came up with a ruling are you ready to hear it?
Yes.
Okay Bob Marley is the winner between him and Bob Marley?
Yeah yes.
Okay.
For the hairy asshole Olympics and he said because Bob Marley quite frankly was so stoned
that he probably had a lot of dingleberries.
Probably did.
Probably did so.
So Topher thank you thank you for doing the tiebreaker and your input is fantastic I think
I agree with you 100% I don't think Bob Marley ever gave a shit about his asshole hair or
his dingleberries.
Thank you once again Topher.
Yep thank you.
So we have some dear douchebag or not dear douchebags we have some douchebag emails that
we're going to answer.
Have some stories you have some stuff you want to get into Rob too?
Yeah I got some stories.
Okay cool.
Alright well first off I got a weird little story here you know how I've been slowly reporting
one by one about how they're selling off Kurt Cobain's personal items?
Yeah yeah.
Well the new one is Kurt Cobain's last pack of cigarettes.
Oh cool.
I mean shit they're picking him clean anyhow why not?
So evidently he smoked American Spirit the smokes that like don't have any chemicals
in them or whatever so anyhow items related to Nirvana leader Kurt Cobain have a history
of doing well at auction.
Last year Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Isray bought one of Cobain's old guitars for millions.
Somebody else got a lock of Cobain's hair in 2021 now more Cobain miscellany is up on
the auction block including a pack of cigarettes he once owned.
The item description on the auction page reads an unopened pack of American Spirit regular
menthol cigarettes belonged to Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain American Spirit menthols were
the preferred brand of the late rock star.
This pack was saved by Cobain's roommate at the Los Angeles rehab clinic where he briefly
stayed several days before taking his own life.
Additionally an Associated Press video describes the pack as maybe the most expensive pack
of cigarettes ever.
So like I said I mean I get it I don't know if I would go after a pack of cigarettes but
I get it you know.
That just sounds like greed to me.
It is it is I don't know who's profiteering from it I would like to find that out I'm
gonna see if I can't find out who is profiting from this because someone's getting a lot
of money over just miscellaneous bullshit really.
I mean but you are talking to a guy that has a stand-up Aussie in his garage that was put
in Streetside and Penny Lane records many years ago to support the no more tears album.
That's a really cool one I'll have to I'll have to get a picture of it and like put it
online or something or anyhow I have one of those I paid a pretty good amount of money
for it because they were in rare they were in high demand they only put out so many and
only really the big Streetsides and Penny Lane got them like the one at Bannister Mall
didn't get it because that one big enough only the high volume ones like Times Square
and Los Angeles one and stuff like that got one of these and I was lucky enough to know
a I guess they call them a dealer or a collector of this type of stuff.
Remember Alley Cat Records over near Westport on Main Street?
Yeah.
The guy that owned that is the guy that came up with it.
I used to go there and buy my rarity rare CDs from over in Japan this is way before the
internet so you know or if there was internet out it was very primitive and like Windows
NT or something it wasn't ideal for buying anything or ordering anything off the internet.
So anyhow the only way to get this stuff is to actually go to a record store and a guy
went to these shows everywhere you know they had like shows in Vegas shows in Orlando shows
in Boston they were music shows for music collectors and he would go there and simply
outbid somebody for this stuff and that was the only way to get them back then you couldn't
just go on the internet and go hey I want a six foot stand-up Ozzy that was supporting
the No More Tears tour and you could find one probably I bet you could find one right
now I don't know how much it would cost but you could find one right now if you really
wanted to somewhere and anyhow I got it from him and I used to just buy from him so he
always saved stuff back for me he knew what I liked so I walk in there go hey Mark come
here and he always drank he was I don't know how the fuck he got home I mean I guess he
just drove after he got smashed I don't know I have no idea he's a cool guy though but
every time he'd have his Miller Lite in his hand hey Mark come here come here look at
this look at the old Italian guy hey hey hey come here man look at this man look what I
got man oh wow what is this yeah this is a so-and-so from you know and he was really
cool and he knew exactly what I like so I always bought all kinds of shit from him I
spent my whole checks working at restaurants going there buying this shit you know and
anyhow luckily I kept most of it most of it I have stored some of it I gave to family
members and then I realized that they didn't give a shit about it and like my Motley Crue
pig mass I gave it to family members and sadly I have no idea where it's at and neither
do they so I gave up on that I'm like you know what it's not being passed down I'm
keeping it so anyhow I got the stand-up Aussie so I understand the collecting this stuff
yes but a pack of smokes I mean I you know if it was signed or something autographed
maybe I could see but yeah I mean can you imagine someone coming up to you and going
hey this is a smack of this is a pack of smokes that Kurt Cobain owned and how do you know
this how do you prove that they have to get an A test oh is that how they do it?
Fingerprints something they would have to prove those were his cigarettes his fingerprints
would be on them or something it would yeah yeah cuz anybody could come up go you know
I live with Kurt Cobain anyone that lived with him for a while could say yeah these
are a pair of sneakers that he wore in the mud to go get a I know a registered letter
about a Geffen record sign it you know anything so yeah yeah anyhow I thought that was interesting
anyhow let's see well do we want to get to a few emails maybe and then we could go into
something that you want to talk about sure let's go for it okay all right not that you
don't want to talk about emails but I know you have some stuff planned so all right first
email hey there dbags anyway you all could maybe put up a picture of you guys would be
cool to see who is actually talking thanks Jimbo in Connecticut I don't know if there's
I guess we could put one up on RSS com where our logo is yeah well I I had been talking
about setting up a Rob Brad Facebook page of that that would work that would work you
know that is probably the best idea let me let me get that let me get that done before
Saturday and we'll work on yeah yeah we could put up some pictures and direct you on what
Facebook page to go to yeah that would probably be a great idea actually yeah and other than
that I mean we don't have a website anymore but it's quite frankly no one ever used it
the email didn't work on it and people didn't go there to download their podcasts you know
everyone has I hard or Spotify or something nobody you know goes to a specific website
to go get their podcasts anymore lesson learned you know I paid quite a bet for that thing
and really to know if they're listening to us yeah yeah yeah so I know a lot of people
do whenever they ask me how do I get your podcast I said just Google it and it'll give
you a hundred ways to get us so so anyhow yeah Jimbo we'll come up with something and
we will announce it on the show so you'll know where to go to look at our beautiful
mugs right yep yep all right thank you Jimbo thanks for taking the time to write I know
this is like I know you wrote this about a month ago but we have not had time I apologize
next one rasslin is okay but I agree with the email once a week is enough kevin Orlando
this one was one that was sent to me through priority I don't know why but somehow in that
Yahoo mail it has a priority and he sent this out yesterday and I got it in front of all
the old ones and everything so I went ahead and answer wow yeah so I anyhow however you
did that kev I have no idea but I think we did we agree on that podcast at once a week
is what we're gonna do yeah yeah yeah we decide on once a week yeah yeah so we yeah it's
fine yeah it may not just be about matches I might be talking about certain individuals
I anything about russians yeah yeah and also it could be like yesterday I had that question
well you guys haven't heard it yet but I was wondering about WWE NXT because I saw a little
bit of that I'm like that's interesting you know what is the purpose of this so any anyhow
and Rob Radd very graciously answered my question and answered it very well so I know exactly
what it is now and I'm kind of interested in it so anyhow yeah once a week is what we
agreed on it so kev you're right so okay next mark what program do you use to produce the
product the podcast I really love the mix in with the comic bits and the sound can be
dicey at times still love the show but just saying Randy and st. Louis yes I know and
that is what the the young lady on the last email that I spoke about was talking about
too about using pro tools I'm working on that Randy and I forgot the young lady's name that
said in the last email I'm working on it we're work in progress we have no budget you know
I'm just learning this stuff on the fly I've got a full-time job I've got stuff I have
to do around the house have a bunch of medical stuff that I just got done more coming up
squeeze a couple of vacations in that my time's very limited so I'm I'm learning all that
I'm gonna try to get with Davey Davey knows all about pro tools I mean you know cuz he's
a musician and I think he could help me a lot on all of this stuff including how to
use voice synthesizers so I can do bits that are better sounding you know with voices and
stuff like it come up with a kid's voice a woman's voice stuff like that because the
bits are good but we need more what would you call it different voices in it yeah yeah
yeah it needs to be a little bit more diverse in my opinion and I think everyone could probably
agree you know here in a different voice besides mine spewing out the stribble would be great
so we're working on all of this Randy give us time well it's gonna help when I get equipment
too well yeah and like I said what I told you the other day is some of these bits you're
gonna start having to pardon so I'm just gonna have to call you up we're gonna have to record
them on Bluetooth and then just slap them together like me and Tover used to do over
at his no filter studio so thank you Randy thanks for taking the time and yes the the
program's gonna get nothing but better so trust us we're gonna keep working on it we're
gonna keep doing what we can to make the program better so thank you thank you for your interest
we appreciate it next one Rob you're sounding fantastic lately you're definitely blooming
right in our ears rich in Richland Virginia couldn't agree more could not agree more yeah
thank you very much yeah Rob has come a long ways and just think he's getting better so
yeah yeah very good Rob man you're doing an excellent job and I knew you would so yeah
do yourself a favor and listen to one of your very first podcasts that you did solo with
me not the ones where you just get in and then listen to this right and notice I have
yeah yeah yep so yeah no problems there so and also like a lot of the content you're
coming up with too because one thing we don't do here is we don't go over each other's content
I simply I call Rob up and we start shooting our shit off and that's it man yeah I'll do
the first we have no clue what we're gonna talk about yeah the reason I always lead off
is because I have the controls here I start them stop them and all that it has nothing
to do with anything else now you see because of that I start off with a couple of stories
then I hand it over to Rob so that's how that works is because I have control over here
it's easier for me to start to show and get the flow and then I pass the baton to Rob
and then he passes it back to me so that is why we do it like that so anyhow Rob is doing
a great job and we when we're gonna keep keep grinding and keep doing what we can to make
the show better so all right next one Mark I live in Ohio could you please stop bagging
on my beloved Bengals it's getting very annoying Ruth in central Ohio no
next I love you keep listening but no it's football bag on the Chiefs call in fucking
email me say something about the Chiefs email me get a rebuttal I'll answer it but stop
bagging on the Chiefs on the Bengals no way ah not gonna happen look if you had the podcast
you'd be bagging on the Chiefs fair right right Rob that's what that's what NFL fans
do we smack talk you know Jim Rome built his fucking empire over the smack-off I mean you
know he's one of the biggest sports talk guys ever if not the biggest and he built his empire
literally on the smack-off and that's where people talk smack about the NFL the other
teams so no well I'm gonna keep doing this and I hope you stick with us regardless but
if not thank you for the time you listen and please tell your friends so anyhow all right
next one Mike in Minnesota wrote hey douches anyway a person could email an Ask Padlin
nominee might be cool thanks for the program yeah we can always take it into consideration
you email us someone's name and tell us why they need an Ask Padlin and if they deserve
it they will get one yeah yeah yeah Mike email us all you want email us all you want whoever's
Ask Padlin it is and we will definitely take it in consideration even if you want to paddle
us for something we don't care like if it's me getting a paddling you think I said something
out of line or was stupid on something then quite frankly I will give the paddle to Rob
and Robin Topher will administer the Ask Padlin to me yeah yeah and same way with Topher I
mean we might have to sneak up on him and hold him down I don't know but you know yeah
if you anybody is anybody is is cool to ask paddle we don't care just give us a reason
why and who give us a name and the reason and we'll definitely consider them and if
they deserve one we will give them one on air and we will mention you were the one that
that wanted their Ask Paddled so yeah thank you Mike send in anytime yep next one anonymous
wrote you guys suck please quit a bag of lettuce makes more sense I agree but we're not going
to quit
at least you didn't cause tail yeah good point well and here's another thing too you're getting
your money's worth it's free yeah I always find it funny whenever someone calls in and
says you suck please stop how come it's a how come it's up to us to stop how come they
can't quit with me hey if you hate that bag why are you taking the time to contact if
you hate us that fucking bad it should be up to you to quit listening right yeah we're
not the ones with the problem we don't care about you you're the one that gives a shit
about us quit listening go around tell people about this guy isn't a fan though yeah yeah
if you're a fan we give a shit about you but you're not so we don't care so my stance is
no we're not quitting and and actually I want to I want to broadcast more now that I know
he hates us we might have to do five or six shows a week because you hate us so chew on
that fucking dick nose anonymous put your real name in there what we gonna do go hunt
you down and beat you up what a pussy anonymous it makes me think it's someone we know it
could be I mean why else would you do anonymous I've always found the anonymous stuff pussy
put your name on there tell me who you are it's fine I don't care I don't care if you're
fucking Jimmy from fucking Tuscaloosa I don't give a shit who you are put your name in say
well Jimmy sorry you hate us but we're not stopping you can quit listening to us whatever
so all right that is all the emails I had time for guys I keep them coming in I know
I'm way behind and I'm gonna try to answer every one of them I never expected in a million
years to get a reaction like this from people I really know it's been insane I can't I can't
friggin believe it honestly I can't believe that people would give one ounce of shit about
our show enough to write to break off an email let alone get as intricate as they have about
the show I mean you're talking about people that have really listened to it and examined
it and and have really good feedback except for anonymous so yeah yeah so anyhow let's
take our first break and we'll be right back and I'm
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We're back two douche bags and a microphone on the marked portion of it
And I'm Rob Alright well as for mentioned we think that
Rob has something to say and we're going to let Rob have something to say
Rob the floor is yours Well long ago I had a home of words got my
shower and everything I was sat down doing my homework for the show
And I jumped on American Songwriters I was getting a list together for this weekend
Yay And I ran across an actual article on American
Songwriters Okay
And I found it pretty interesting More than 25 years after releasing his hit
I'll Be Missing You Diddy has revealed that he pays Sting $5,000
daily for sampling the police's 1983 hit Every Birth You Take on the song
In 2014 Diddy initially revealed that he was paying Sting $2,000 after getting permission
to sample the song years earlier Initially Diddy who was known as Puff Down
Daddy when he released I'll Be Missing You never asked permission to use the sample
Not smart Since permission was never granted for use
Sting saved and received 100% of the royalties for the song
Earlier permission would have allowed Diddy only to pay 25% Because of his slight Sting
now receives just over $1.8 million a year for the song
Originally Celebny Network also reported that Sting earns approximately $730,000 per year
for the sample which breaks down to about $2,000 per day with royalties
When a fan briefly referenced the past figure of $2,000 Diddy went on social media to correct
the figure and responded nope $5,000 a day love you my brothers Sting
Wow Man that's a lot of money
Yeah it is well that's what happens when you don't whenever this is what happened like
the old rap artists back in the 80s they started sampling all this music and like the original
producers or the music the only ones that didn't do that was like Run DMC and Run DMC
basically revitalized Aerosmith they brought him back from the dead with that Walk This
Way video and the cross between them two the cross pollination where Aerosmith it was really
a brilliant video and Aerosmith is in one room and they're trying to play their shit
and Run DMC is in the other room trying to play their shit and they're both looking at
the wall like there's noise and finally they break down the wall and they both start jamming
together it was a groundbreaking piece but a lot of those other ones that were sampled
they didn't ask or anything they just start throwing them in there and then the original
artist came back and like just took basically all the money because the the artists that
did this the rap artists that sampled it did it without even asking so then the courts
are just like okay well we're gonna award them everything you know so a lot of the people
even though it was a great idea and it was a song with the music being sampled in it
it didn't matter I think Van Halen got a shit ton of money for fuck was it two live crews
shit I can't remember oh was it funky cold medina it was I think it's funky cold medina
was and I can't remember who sang that but it had Van Halen samples in it and they got
a shit ton of money from him for doing that and there's a lot of other cases like that
too but anyhow and nowadays before they do anything like that they check they find out
if it's affordable if they can sample and a lot of times a lot of artists say no they
don't want their music sampled did you know that yeah yeah yeah a lot of them are like
no you know I think that this is I I don't want mine in anything else this is my music
this is my art I don't want anyone else anyone else using it and a lot of people it doesn't
matter how much money you you send them you know they're still not going to do it so you
know another cool American songwriters very cool yeah yeah there is a list of and this
is from bookies.com the top stadium experiences NFL wise in America I don't agree with this
list I think it's off a bit so anyhow the first one that it says is a Green Bay Packers
and I could kind of get that because of all the history it's way up in northern Wisconsin
it's the frozen tundra Lambeau field you know the Lombardi trophy named after you know Vince
Lombardi you know you know how I get that I could get Wyatt because all the history
second to Pittsburgh Steelers maybe so yeah because of the terrible towels and they make
a lot of noise and they're really they're screamers or yellers or diehards we have a
lot of Pittsburgh Steelers fans in Kansas City that wear their gear every day so yeah
the third one is the Minnesota Vikings which I don't get it all I don't get it all because
even when I was in Minnesota I didn't see that much Vikings gear now they weren't very
good when I was there but I mean you know even when the chase were horrible you saw
their gear everywhere so I don't know maybe there's something I'm completely missing but
it just doesn't seem to me like it would be the third top tied for fourth is a three-way
tie Seattle Seahawks Dallas Cowboys and our beloved Kansas City Chiefs the Seahawks have
a really good atmosphere the Cowboys have a really good atmosphere I don't know to me
I think the Chiefs take that Arrowhead Stadium is legendary the loudest stadium in the world
we we do our chants we show up everywhere in droves we drive people nuts we piss people
off there's so many of us invade in their territory I just don't see it but okay whatever
now seventh after the four-way tie or the three-way tie is the Atlanta Falcons I could
not agree with that any less I mean that is just no and here's they put them above Philadelphia
Philadelphia Eagles fans threw snowballs at Santa Claus Philadelphia veteran stadium
or whatever they call it nowadays has a court right there in the stadium because they get
so fucking nutty when the Eagles won the Super Bowl several years back with Nick Foles a
guy ate horse shit from one of the mountain blue yes and here in Kansas City we had a
guy that got deep-panced himself on a tree I don't see that going on in Atlanta do you
the guy that deep-panced himself on a tree made all the night shows all the tonight that
all of those shows it made TMZ it made everything and same with a guy that ate shit in Philadelphia
and they put the Atlanta Falcons above that they didn't put them above the cheese but
they put them above the Eagles I don't see that the next one they put Indian Crapple
us above the Denver Broncos I'm sorry I hate the Broncos but man those guys are die-hard
fans and they are loud and they love their Broncos and actually the Broncos should probably
be in the top four I mean really those guys they are die-hards and number 11 should not
be Las Vegas Raiders because the Las Vegas Raiders fans are they don't even they don't
even let me put like this it is so ingrained in that in that culture that that to be an
outlaw Vegas Raider fan before that was like LA and then Oakland before that it's so ingrained
that outlaw thing that a lot of people that wear their jerseys and stuff don't even know
who plays for them they only know their record I've asked a lot of people at where their
stuff I hey what's that what's your guys record this year I don't know who's your quarterback
I don't know no fucking way that's not 11th it's a new stadium it's beautiful Alliance
Stadium is beautiful but no number 12 Tennessee Titans I think I could get along with that
because I have been to that stadium I think it's Nissan Stadium or Toyota I think it's
Nissan Stadium it's a beautiful stadium and they all love football in Nashville and it's
it's cool they have that walking that pedestrian bridge that goes over to the stadium from
downtown it is a beautiful facility and I think I would agree with that number 13 the
Baltimore Ravens I they have a lot of diehard fans so yeah I could see it 14th Tampa Bay
I think Tampa Bay should have been further down on the list I know a lot of Tampa Bay
fans from that area that love love them but there isn't a whole lot of interest outside
of the immediate Tampa Bay area even when Tom Brady was there people just don't really
care about him that much New Orleans Saints number 15 Arizona Cardinals 16 Jets 17th you
know what oh the 49ers are 19th the 49ers should have been down quite a bit and the
Giants the New York Giants should have been down quite a bit from 20th and let me see
if I see any other ones that I think are wrong oh the Cleveland Browns for 21st no way the
dog pound is real and the dog pound doesn't care what the record is the dog pound they
are they are legit the dog pound yeah they're diehards and they should be in the top seven
Chicago Bears should probably be maybe in the top ten maybe the latter nine or ten the
Lions twenty-third I think it should be lower but not all the way down Buffalo Bills are
twenty-fourth I think I agree with that now I didn't before but man when the Bills start
losing you don't hear anything so I think maybe they're right on that that like they
give up real easy the Bengals fans I don't know they're kind of mouthy they're kind of
cocky but you don't see them in droves so I don't know I don't think I really have an
opinion on that to Jaguars at 25th they should have been lower than that because nobody in
Florida gives a shit about football it's been proven New England Patriots at 27th other
than Miami yeah but Miami's 31st and and I don't even think they sell out their stadium
in Jacksonville or Miami 27th New England Patriots now yes before no before they've
been top five right now nah I agree 28th Carolina Panthers of course 29th Los Angeles Chargers
they might have been they should have probably been 32nd actually the Charger fans are horrible
and so are the Los Angeles Rams fan at 30 31st Miami Dolphins that's because everyone's
at the beach nobody's at the game 32nd is Washington commanders and that's just simply
because they have not put a good product on the field for so long people have other shit
to do in Washington so anyhow I think there was a lot of errors in that in my opinion
but that was a book yeah in my opinion I see quite a few too yeah so anyhow have you heard
about people putting toilet paper in the refrigerator no I have not well hang on a second we're
gonna find out about this maybe your gallon of milk soured or your leftovers just sat
one day too long but the hallmark stench of spoiled and mating order from your refrigerator
odor not order odor from your refrigerator is nearly impossible to get rid of I'm still
on anesthesia no you know what now I can't talk any night so yeah yeah business usual
unless of course you follow the tick-tock sages who swear by the hack that involves
putting toilet paper in the fridge you heard that right your two-ply charm and ultra soft
can soak up odors well not may not be the most appetizing sight the bath tissue absorbs
the moisture in the air that contribute to the mold mildew and foul smells according
to parade and you know what I think I could believe that Rob because what does baking
soda do yeah yeah and I think toilet paper is along that same same type of an area right
because toilet paper is absorbent and it's made to soak up odors and also soak up you
know everything right so yeah so I think this could be true baking soda which only needs
to be swapped every three months compared to toilet paper three weeks is more commonly
used to neutralize odors and according to parade the cost-effective option works better
and eliminating both the excess moisture and the acids that produce odors now if you use
toilet paper here's the deal you can reuse it so you know we're if you open up a can
of not a can but a box of baking soda it's done once you open it up and put it in the
fridge you can't use it for anything toilet paper you can take it out of there let it
warm up a little bit and then use it to wipe your ass right yeah well there are fridge
specific deodorizers available on the market other ways to neutralize the stink in your
refrigerator well number one don't let food spoil in it right and include activate activated
charcoal vanilla coffee grounds lemon and oats I didn't know about oats hmm I know
they use lemon for fish odors I remember when I was much younger working at restaurants
whenever we handle fish they would have lemons there that you you take and squeeze a lemon
on your finger to to get rid of the fish smell so you know you would smell decent you know
lemon smells a hell of a lot better you know you smell citrusy you don't smell like fish
so so I could I could definitely I could definitely see that so anyhow Rob you got something you
want to go into yeah man is suing the state of Worcester and two doctors after going to
the hospital for an apodectomy last year and coming out with more medical issues that required
four additional surgeries so he's going to get an appendix removed what he's going in
to get his appendix removed yeah okay okay okay George Piano and his wife Elizabeth are
accusing the University of Washington Medical Center Northwest of negligence and seeking
an unspecified amount damages after what they claim in the suit was a botched operation
according to a lawsuit piano went to the UWM CN's emergency room after experiencing several
abdominal pain doctors determined that piano piano had acute appendicitis and then his
appendix needs to be removed after the operation however piano felt abdominal pain worse than
before surgery doctors performed a repeat abdominal CT scan revealing the continued
presence of an implant appendix they never took it out instead the UWM CN doctors removed
a piece of piano's lower colon and additional operations were required to repair a leaky
colon and to address an abdominal infection caused by the initial surgery piano had to
undergo four additional surgeries and multiple hospitalizations including the installation
of a lost in the bag oh my god oh they screwed this man up badly no my god bad you're going
to get this article which is on insider mm-hmm yeah they go into detail on what happened
this poor man Wow oh my god that guy deserves millions I'm sorry millions he had to deal
with an ostomy bag oh my gosh oh that stuff that scares a hell of a well abdomen is deformed
and all kinds of stuff oh my god well let me give you a little insight on something here
Rob while we're talking about this I didn't get to this earlier because we got distracted
but you know I went in for my colonoscopy today right okay well I think everyone's familiar
with the with the commercial aura where they killed the clown the killer clown that gets
shot down by lightning while winning the lottery okay well you know at first you know they
have the plane crash odds of dying in a plane crash odds of not waking up from anesthesia
one in 135,000 right okay well I'm getting wheeled down there on on the stretcher gurney
or whatever you know whatever they call it the the rolling bed okay to go have my procedure
and I had the anesthesia administered and I'm and I'm barely awake right I'm just like
as a matter of fact they're asked me dad jokes right they said hey you got any dad jokes
I got to two the second one and I was out I was out like a fucking log so anyhow I'm
getting wheeled down there I'm like going oh shit is the aura guy gonna be here and
going hey would you like valet parking or you just gonna take your chances that's how
bad that shit seeps in your brain dude are you familiar with I'm talking about you know
where the guys like there yeah yeah well it was like an almost replica of it where I'm
just sitting there you know looking up waiting for the anesthesia to knock me out and I'm
like shit this is a replay of that fucking commercial I'm like getting wheeled down
here I'm gonna see someone going hey uh valet parking or take your chances I'm like fuck
anyhow I was knocked out like right after that and and it was it was done but anyhow
so the thing I'm getting at is stories like this does it does not help this is why people
are afraid of hospitals and doctors that's why a lot of people don't get help when they
need it is because they read shit like this shit like this does happen but it's not the
norm but anyhow wow that that guy deserves millions and the person the people responsible
for that should not be a medicine so yeah that's insane well anyhow how about if we
come right back and I got the top pet names for 2023 sounds good all right we will be
talking to you here in a couple minutes I think we found land oh my god I think we're
safe oh no it's the island of horrible jokes
next up things overheard in hell great news William Hungs world tour has been extended
now deep thoughts with mark
so if I have a glass of ice water and the ice melts into the water is my water then
watered down I may never know
we
I'm not the mad shitter!
Act now and get both high quality DVD sets and a free douchebag calendar.
Mark off the day with a douchebag looking at you.
Supplies are limited so act now.
Music
Alright, two douchebags and a microphone live from the Talk Is Cheap studio.
But when you hear this it won't be live. I am Mark.
And I am Rob.
Alright, well like I previously said before, before we went to our break,
and you heard Satan talking about burning souls listening to us,
and things to eat during the apocalypse, and deep thoughts with Mark,
and whatever other goodies, island of horrible jokes,
strange insults from an alien, what else we have there?
A little bit of everything.
Yeah, a little bit of everything.
Clown nose.
Yeah, yeah, a brick shit house energy drink.
Our new one, Smack in the Balls.
We still have 30 Smack in the Balls apiece to give away.
So if you deserve a Smack in the Balls, or someone you know deserves a Smack in the Balls,
let us know. We will give you a free Smack in the Balls.
We have 30 of them, each one of us. This makes 60 that we're just itching to give out to fans.
So if you need one, or if you know someone that needs a Smack in the Balls, let us know.
We will gladly administer you the Smack in the Balls.
I don't know how much better it gets than that, Rob.
Okay, you can't beat that.
You can't beat that, a free Smack in the Balls.
I mean the only thing that could beat that is maybe a Bigin' ball bite, right?
Yeah, yeah.
But I don't even know if a Bigin' is probably either incarcerated or dead.
So we're probably not going to get Bigin' back to bite anybody's nuts.
And besides that, his nut days, even if he's alive or not incarcerated,
I think his nut biting days are over.
Well, he's out of his own fitness gym now.
Yeah, it could be.
Okay, like I said before, the top pet names for 2023,
an online marketing place for pet owners, released its annual list of the most popular pet names
with Charlie and Luna topping the list for male and female dogs respectively.
The rest of the top 10 male dog's names on Rover's 11th Annual Most Popular Pet Names Report were
Max, Cooper, Milo, Buddy, Reddy, Rocky, Bear, Leo, and Duke.
The company said Max was knocked off the number two spot after 10 years as top dog.
The rest of the top 10 names for female dogs were Bella, Daisy, Lucy, Lily, Lola, Zoe, Sadie, Stella, and Bailey.
The top male cat names for the year were Oliver, Milo, Leo, Charlie, Loki, Max, Simba, Jack, Ollie, and Jasper.
The top names for female felines were Luna, Bella, Lily, Lucy, Nala, Callie, Kitty, Cleo, Willow, and Stella.
Rover also tracked trendy names for the year and found some of the more unusual choices had sharp increases over the previous years.
The trending names for dogs included Kelsey, Wednesday, Oak, Laney, Minnow, Smokey, Australia, Emmy, Rob, and Chia.
Trending names for cats were Norbert, Soju, Snoop, Choco, Fuzz, Zuki, No, No, K-N-O-W, Munch, M-U-N-C-H, Luffy, and Maisie.
I have no idea where they got these names from man.
Anyhow, yeah.
Alright, some of the names I love, some of them are very questionable.
Have you heard of the new silent book club that's going around?
No, evidently they're doing their job.
Yeah, a silent book club is simply this.
People meet up somewhere and don't talk.
They read their book, they come there, hello, then they sit down and their orders are to not talk at all but read their book.
It's a new trend where people are like, yeah, hey, you want to go to silent book club?
And you don't talk.
You go there and you read your book only.
You don't say anything to anybody.
You greet them and that's it.
Then you delve into your book and that's all.
I think I really love that.
Because how many times have I done something like that only to have someone just keep talking and it's like, shit.
It's like I came here to read my book and I can't read a damn thing because this guy won't shut up.
Have you done that before?
No.
Okay.
I'm not much of a reader.
Okay, well I love to read but anyhow, I've done that before.
You meet up with some people and then the next thing you know, they just won't.
It's like, man, I might as well go back home and read this thing.
There was a TikTok video where there was a door dash driver.
You probably heard of this and you probably read about it because it was big news but I'm going to go ahead and cover it.
The door dash driver took food to someone.
The door dash driver was getting ready to give the guy his food and he noticed that the guy didn't tip.
He said, hey, where's my tip?
The guy said, I left it on the website or on the app.
The guy said, okay.
Then he looked back down and he noticed there was not a tip.
So he backed off and he threw the guy's food on the ground and left.
It's about 50-50 what people are saying.
Some people are saying, you know what?
There's already, I think, on door dash a certain amount allotted for the person.
Okay.
Kind of like a tipping situation.
I think they charge a little bit more so you can give the driver some money.
And I'm not for sure.
I'll have to check on that.
But from what I understand, they do get a certain amount.
It may not be a whole lot, but I think they do get some sort of a tip without you tipping.
And then what you tip is on top of that.
So it's kind of divided 50-50.
People are saying, no, you know what?
The guy should just be happy.
It's his job.
He should bring it there.
Whether the guy tips or not is not really any of his business.
Then other people are saying, you know what?
The guy's a dick for not tipping and he's a bigger dick for lying about it.
So he deserves to have his food thrown on the ground.
Now, I think that the guy should not have thrown his food on the ground.
But I think that it's like this.
If you are a known not tipper, and I don't care if it's just like, let's say it's a $50 bill of food and you give him $5, right?
That's something, right?
That's a little thing.
Okay.
But someone not tipping constantly, I think that the word should get around and then people are not so inclined to go take your food to you.
It's like, you know what?
Why should I take food to him?
He doesn't leave me anything when this guy over there next to him leaves me like $10 every time.
So I think that takes care of itself, right?
So I'll tell it like this.
Okay.
I tip really well, like I use the city market coffee app.
You know, I go down there to write material and stuff.
We used to record down there, which we are going to again.
Yes.
Yeah.
So but I always leave at least 20% on there for them.
And I will be out there.
They know my they know my table out there where we used to broadcast from.
I'll put in the order.
They know me and they take it to me because I always tip.
And I love the people there.
They're great people.
I make sure that they get a good amount of money, you know, a decent amount of money for helping me.
And it is not forgotten.
I don't ask for them to bring it to me, but they do every time they'll be like, oh, that's Mark's order.
Look out there.
They'll see me and they'll bring it to me.
So that is like tip stands for to ensure to ensure prompt service.
Okay.
That's what I get when I tip.
Okay, so I think that someone that that doesn't tip, it takes care of itself.
And this guy probably overreacted.
He might have been having a bad day, but he shouldn't have thrown the guy's food on the ground.
But he did have somewhat of a complaint, I do believe.
And what is your thought on this, Rob?
What do you think?
I see both sides.
I.
Yeah, me too.
I don't agree with the food being thrown on the ground.
Me neither.
And the way I look at it, that's really not the driver's choice because the order was called into the business you work for and you're delivering it to the business.
So you at that point, you're doing your job.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
I agree with that 100%.
That's why I asked you because I have I have a little problem with this.
But at the same time, if you're a known not tip or quit being a douche.
Yeah.
I think the guy overreacted.
Now, should I think he should get fired over that?
No.
I don't think he should hear or read anything about him getting fired.
No.
But I think he should be reprimanded.
Yes.
And another thing is, is this guy that keeps not tipping?
Well, these days, he's just not going to get anyone to bring his food and he probably deserves that.
So, okay.
I think that takes care of itself.
Other than that, I see both sides.
So anyhow, Rob, you got anything you want to get to?
Yeah, I got another story here.
All righty.
This came comes off radar online and just so you know, this if you want to know more about this story, I'm just going to kind of break it down somewhat.
Life of Disgrace, Tom and Bill Cosby was the target of a lawsuit filed by a Massachusetts man who claimed she forced him off an organic farm he spent years to create.
Radar online dot com has exclusively learned.
Benjamin Hay, the owner of Maple Row Farm, charged Tomil Cosby 79, callously booted him from the 83-acre tract of land she owns after encouraging him to spend three years and thousands of dollars to convert 57 acres into an organic field.
The process of transitioning farmland to organic is complicated, time consuming and expensive.
After spending more than $200,000 prepping the soil and purchasing more than $18,000 and potato seed for the 2021 season, Tomil threw her agent, Michael Spencer, over hay to vacate her property or be framed with trust-adding charges.
Wow.
That's an odd story.
Yeah, he ends up turning around.
Sure, like I said, look this up on radar online.
I will there.
There's more to it.
And they go in a little more detail.
Okay.
All right.
I can do that.
And let's go ahead and finish out this podcast with Zoom Brain.
Have you ever heard of Zoom Brain?
Oh, yeah, actually I have.
Okay.
Since early 2020, video calls have become the solution to everyone's would-be canceled plans, from work meetings to happy hour conferences to weddings.
After hours upon hours of approximating eye contact and the person talking becomes mute because of a lack of face-to-face connection.
With video, we must rely on our eye contact at all times. It takes much more emotional effect to stay engaged in video interactions.
So what it does is it pretty much shuts down your brain because you have to concentrate on eye contact to let them know that you're actually paying attention to them and not fidgeting with something or scrolling Facebook down below with your phone or something, you know.
So you have to keep eye contact, but that's a good way to kind of like lose concentration too, right?
Yes.
So they call it Zoom Brain where your mind goes blank and you're not even really sure where you're at.
So look it up when you get a chance.
Zoom Brain is odd.
I've had it before, but not from Zoom, from, I don't know, studying too hard or something or trying to figure something out.
So I get it.
So one of the things that they suggest to help the symptoms is break off every hour for five to ten minutes.
That way you give your mind and your eyes and everything a break.
You can break off of it, lose your concentration for a while, and then come back and pick up on it.
Number two, look around the room more.
You can look away.
You can break eye contact for a second or two and they'll be okay.
And you can, the suggestions are when you do go, yes, I'm listening.
Yes.
Uh-huh.
Or something like that to reassure them that you're listening.
But at the same time, look around.
That way you're not like focusing in and getting that, you know, that, what do you call it?
Oh, that dead stare, you know.
Another thing.
Turn the headlight up.
Yeah.
Another one, try to schedule Zoom calls days away from each other is another suggestion.
So don't do three or four of them in a row.
If you can, put them at least two or three days apart.
And that helps you with it too.
My suggestion is shut your power off and tell them that you had a power outage.
No more Zoom call.
How could they prove you didn't?
Yeah, some guy ran it.
Some guy ran it to the fucking pole, man.
I don't know when it's going to come back on.
Soon as it comes back on, I'll join you.
Power didn't come back on.
I'm sorry, man.
Shit.
Well, could you just send me a transcript of what you said?
I'll go over it.
Yeah, thanks.
That's my best suggestion right there.
It's like how many times, how many times this guy have someone like hitting a power pole near him?
God, he has the worst luck.
This is crazy.
So anyhow, all right, Rob, I think this concludes this podcast.
Thank you everybody for listening.
We appreciate you.
Keep the emails coming even though I'm way behind.
I will get caught up on them and I will try to answer every one of them.
And I agree.
We appreciate each and every one of you.
Thank you.
So anyhow, even the ones in Cincinnati that are pissed at me or no,
middle Ohio, roof in middle Ohio, I believe.
Yeah.
Even though you're mad at me, still love you.
Thank you.
Have a good night.
Good night, everybody.
Hey, where do they go?
Where are the douchebags?
Oh my God.
Someone took a dump in the corner.
Oh, geez.
Glad they're gone.
Let's just hope they don't come back.
Man, that smells.