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Live from the historic river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the crystal blue waters of the Missouri River, it's Two Douchebags and a Microphone Podcast.

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We are Two Douchebags and a Microphone.

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As charming as a leaky sewer pipe, and now, deep thoughts with Mark.

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Should I record frog sounds in the summer, then play them when it's zero degrees on my ring doorbell for the Amazon guy?

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Yeah, that sounds like fun.

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Invisible ass paddlings, new douche flavors and horrible pranks? What the fuck is wrong with these guys?

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Two Douchebags and a Microphone. I am Mark.

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And I am Rob.

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Welcome, welcome. Thanks for joining us again. I see our listenership is still going nuts. Did you see the numbers the last couple of days?

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No, I haven't. I haven't looked in a few days.

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They've been really, really, really solid. The trends are just keep going up and up. We're already doing okay anyhow.

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Thank you all for listening. Tell your friends. I mean, look, I mean, this is, you know, we don't have any advertisement, you know, we have no way of paying for any advertisement because we are not advertising right now.

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You know, it's just it's it's the thing of the podcast, you know, podcasts. If you ever make some money on it, you're actually really probably fortunate because to every one person that makes a decent living off of it,

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there is probably 100,000 people that do not make a dime off of it and probably lose money.

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So, you know what? Keep telling people and who knows, man, maybe one of these days will break even.

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But anyhow, you know what? We're still having fun with this. We enjoy it. We were glad you enjoy it.

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I did not have a chance to get the emails, but I'm going to try to do that tomorrow, hopefully after my colonoscopy.

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But today was spent on the pot a good majority of the day doing what you have to do the day before your colonoscopy.

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So anyhow, I in a little bit later, I've got a wrestling question for you, Rob.

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Okay. But first, I've got an interesting story.

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Let me preface this by saying this. Okay. Super Bowl 54, the one in 2020, the one that we played the San Francisco 49ers in and we won.

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I went to the kitchen to watch the second half of the game because every time I went to the kitchen, we done well.

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Every time I came back to the living room, we're getting our ass kicked.

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And we know that that game was very tumultuous. At first, it was like pulling teeth.

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But then when Kansas City kind of got it together, they pulled it out and looked pretty good.

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But until then, it was like real dicey. And it was like really in question, especially at second interception, whether we were going to win or not.

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So every time I go in the kitchen, we do something great, like get a sack or, you know, get a big run or, you know.

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These superstitions are real. You know, there's even been commercials about it, you know, like Doritos commercials where guys like or maybe it's a beer commercial.

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You know, you remember what I'm talking about where, you know, yeah, it's like, okay, well, I got to eat this right here.

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I got to do this right here and I got to wear this jersey. Well, I've been like that for a long time.

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Even before I knew it was a thing, I've been superstitious about especially football.

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I mean, well, football is my game. I don't really care for baseball that much anymore for obvious reasons because it's just not competitive.

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And they refuse to do anything about it. And greed is taking over the whole fucking thing. And I'm done with it.

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So anyhow, you know, football is my thing. And I've been really like that for a long time.

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So I came across this story and I wasn't going to do it at first. I'm like, no, this is this is a story I need to lead off with.

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And here's why. Okay. Patrick Mahomes has a superstition that he does. Did you know this, Rob?

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Yeah, actually, I read that the other day.

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Okay. Well, I'm getting ready to go into it right now.

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Okay. Athletes are famously superstitious bunch. They are known for having all kinds of different good luck charms and pregame rituals.

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For Patrick Mahomes, quarterback of the Kansas City Chiefs, it's a pair of underwear he first wore as an NFL rookie.

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And which he has worn for every single game ever since.

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Originally a game day gift from his wife, Brittany Matthews, at the time, now she's Mahomes, during the first season with the Chiefs,

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the Red Lululemon boxers have proven to be very lucky indeed for the quarterback. Most recently at this year's Super Bowl.

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First, my wife, Brittany, got them for me. I have to wear them, you know.

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Mahomes told brothers Peyton and Eli Manning on their podcast this week, at the same time I threw them on that first season.

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We had a pretty good season that season. Mahomes joked that he has kept his briefs in good condition forever over the last six years.

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And he kept washing them. And I would like to say something about the Manning podcast.

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That thing, or not the podcast, but the, what do they call it, the Manning cast, it's on ESPN2.

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And instead of listening to Buck and Aikman dribble their bullshit, you can actually listen to something clever and funny.

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And I love the Manning brothers because they have a way to get stuff out of people because they're real.

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They're just up there bullshitting. And it was great. I mean, you know, they got stuff out of Mahomes that was really cool.

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I don't think we would have found out about these red boxers if it wasn't for the Manning cast.

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And those two are just absolutely brilliant. And I, man, I would love to see them do like a regular show or something, you know, maybe on sports.

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It could be anything. I don't care. They could be talking about the weather. And I think those two guys would be entertaining.

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So anyhow, it takes like them to get a story like this. And I really appreciate it.

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But Mahomes, he said that he only wears them for game day. He added, they're not too worn down. I clean them. I wash them every once in a while, at least.

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I mean, if we're on a hot streak, I can't wash them, you know. And you know what? Yeah, I did that with a jersey.

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Mahomes jersey. And then it switched over to Kelsey jersey when my pug got to hold my Mahomes jersey.

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But now I've been known to switch jerseys in the middle of a game. If it's not going so well, then I'll have to go the other jersey, you know.

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So anyhow, and this is the one that's chewed up by my pug because I refuse to let it go because that was the jersey that we won the initial Super Bowl number 24, I believe,

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or something like that against San Francisco, not the one last year. So, or actually it was this year.

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So, as long as I'm winning football games, I'll keep the superstition going, he said. I love the realism. I love the fact that that came out.

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I love stories like that. I think stories like that are unique and cool. And they're stuff that I like. And I hope that anyone heard this.

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If you didn't hear it before, you enjoyed it. So, anyhow, Rob, while we are speaking about sports,

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I have a rasslin' question for you.

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Sure.

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Okay. WWE NXT. Are you familiar with it?

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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NXT.

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NXT. Okay, what did I say?

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NXT.

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Okay. Alright, well I'm kind of tired because I didn't sleep very well last night, you know, because this...

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No, I understand.

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Yeah, so.

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NXT is like the minor leagues. But they are coming on strong. They're showing as much as the WWE.

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That's funny you say that because that's exactly what I was going to ask. Is this like the minor leagues of wrestling?

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It started out like the minor leagues. They come in and start there, then they upgrade.

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Okay, because I just caught a brief part of it a little bit ago. And I'm like, well, that's interesting.

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They're not making it go against their main channel, you know, their main show. But they do give it a prime time.

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No, they're all the same company.

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Yeah, that's what I thought. I mean, otherwise it probably wouldn't have been called WWE. But, okay, so the purpose is,

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it's up and coming, but what you're saying is it's becoming its own?

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Yeah, actually a lot of the WWE stars are dropping back and going and doing shows in NXT.

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No shit. Really?

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Yeah, a lot of the big names. They're wrestling and both.

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Why do you think they're doing this? Is it more exposure, more air time?

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That could be, yeah. Yeah.

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Okay. Okay, that makes sense.

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I really don't truly know the reason behind it.

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I mean, I gotta be honest, the product was pretty good from what I watched. I was like, you know, this is pretty cool.

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They have a lot of good talent in NXT.

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A lot of people I've never heard or seen of before, but they had their own gimmick. They had their own personality,

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their own swagger, their own sway. You know what I mean? Because that's what you need in wrestling is your swagger and sway.

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Female or male, it doesn't matter. You have to have your own gimmick. You gotta have your own thing.

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Yeah, your character.

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Yeah, your character. Smell what the Rock is cooking. What are you gonna do when Hulk runs wild over you?

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You know, all this stuff is, you know, hell, I think most of it is trademarked.

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So anyhow, okay, that's what I was wondering. And speaking of trademarks, I had a discussion with my trademark lawyer the other day,

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one of them, and he loves the name of the show. He couldn't quit laughing. And anyhow, I'm hoping he wants to do a call in,

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and I hope he does. I would love to have a lawyer call in, but I would love to not only hear him talk,

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he's an educated, smart guy, and he could talk about anything he wanted. I don't care. I mean, if you hear this,

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I'm not gonna say your name, but if you hear this, I would love to have you on. You got my email, email me.

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But the thing is, you could talk about anything from lawyer to, he said that he likes sports and comedy,

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so that fits right in with what we do. He's a big Minnesota Vikings fan, so he wants to bash Green Bay.

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I'm like, sure. That's fine with me.

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Why not? Why not?

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Yeah, why not? Who cares? I said there's a lot there to bash.

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You're more than welcome. You're more than welcome.

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Bash away, buddy. Bash away. So anyhow, it was pretty cool, but I would love to hear a professional's take on this show.

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Would a lawyer person be like, oh my God, that's so immature, or would they be like, you know what,

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this is really kind of dirty and tongue-in-cheek, but it's very enjoyable. I would love to hear what someone like him

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would think of the show, because that would give me more, and you too, Rob, more insight on which way we need to go, right?

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Right, right.

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Yeah. So anyhow, so Rob, how have you been? You got anything going on?

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Not really. Just same old, same old. Working podcasts. That's about it.

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Okay. Cool. Good. Well, I've just been shitting my brains out.

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Yeah, it sounds like it.

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I mean, to be honest, there's not that many brains, so I mean, most of it's like water now.

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I shit my brains out there like a whole one and a half ounce. Then after that, it's just straight water.

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Slightly colored water at this point. So anyhow, I think I'm getting near the end of whatever's in me.

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I hope so. I hope so too. I hope so.

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Anyhow, and I know it's TMI, so you know what? Deal with it. We're getting ready to get off the subject.

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So you know, Rob, there's a new product out called Pringles X.

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No, I didn't.

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Pringles X is caviar with Pringles. How the hell they came up with this? I have no idea.

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Was somebody like on mushrooms and said, hey, you know what we need to do?

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What, man? We need to do Pringles with caviar.

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Yeah, man. That sounds good. Give me one of those shrooms.

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I don't know. I mean, that is such an odd combination. It baffles me how it came about.

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But it's interesting enough to report on, don't you agree?

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I'm going to guess it was somebody rich. I used to watch Chris Lee Knows Best.

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And he had a Pringles addiction.

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Good point. My God, Rob.

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And he could have third-guided her.

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You know what, Rob? That is an excellent point. Maybe that is what brought these two together, is that mindset.

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All right. Okay. Well, I see it now. I didn't see it before, but now you kind of...

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But yeah, it doesn't sound very appetizing to me.

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No. Me neither. Me neither.

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So anyhow, Pringles X is, when you buy one of these,

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one ounce classic sturgeon caviar, one ounce smoked trout roe,

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three 2.5 ounce cans of Pringles sour cream and onion, and one original barbecue.

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I don't understand how they got that formula of three cans of sour cream and onion and one barbecue.

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There are so many different flavors. I don't know why they didn't mix in a cheddar.

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I don't understand that part, but maybe...

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It's regular.

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Yeah. Maybe the type of caviar was more, I don't know,

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fit more with sour cream and onion and an original barbecue. I don't know.

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But also...

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That could be.

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It could be. Who knows?

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So also two disposable spoons, one caviar tin key,

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which you would need because caviar is open like, you remember those old fashioned sardine underwood cans that you open with a key?

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This is no different.

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And gel ice packs. This retails for 140 bucks, which sounds to me,

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with the sturgeon caviar and the smoked trout.

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I mean, I think that's a pretty decent price, isn't it?

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I would think so with that caviar.

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Yeah, I would think so too. But anyhow, it retails at 140 bucks.

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And as far as I know, the only outlet to get it is online.

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And the article I read is the best thing you can do is Google it, and it will take you to a page to where you can order this.

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And like always, anything like this is a limited time supply.

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So if you really want to do this, you better get on it because it will probably be gone soon.

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Would be my...

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Whether people love it or not, they're going to jump on this, right?

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Yeah.

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So if you like caviar and Pringles and you have 140 bucks to throw at this, I suggest you do it quickly.

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Because if not, I think this whole thing is going to be gone here in probably a month or two, if it lasts that long.

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But, Rob, you know what?

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What?

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Jeffy X got a hold of me after I sent him this article.

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Wow, he's on overtime.

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I got to buy him another hooker.

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What am I up to now, five?

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Yeah, I think you're up to five.

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Five hookers.

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I may have to make him a whole wardrobe.

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I guess.

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I mean, you're already getting him the embroidered underwear with his initials and with the Steven Pearcey pouch in front to where he can sit up as much as he wants.

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I mean, what next?

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A robe or something?

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Well, I've already snuck in a matching pair of socks.

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Oh, Rob, you're a great man.

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You know he's going to love that.

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He's going to love that.

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Are you putting Jeffy X on it?

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No, with all the overtime he's put in, we're going to have to help it.

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I know.

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He has actually uncovered caviar combos that failed.

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Is he not something?

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This should be interesting.

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Yeah, how he gets this stuff I have no idea.

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But I was at work the other day and I sent that article during break and I had to ditch it to the bathroom to download it real quick because you know the rule.

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In 10 minutes, this email will disappear.

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Every time he sends me an email with this information on it, it has to disappear because he's afraid of getting caught.

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So he's not supposed to be sending out these lists that he went undercover to get.

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So anyhow, thank you, Jeffy X.

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We know it's a very dangerous job and you're going to be rewarded handsomely with five hookers embroidered underwear with a Steven Peartsey pouch in the middle to make your crotch look as delightfully big as you want.

199
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,000
As many socks.

200
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:50,000
But I think a man like Jeffy X probably doesn't have to stuff anyhow.

201
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,000
What do you think?

202
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:56,000
I'm going to give it a good throw this time.

203
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,000
I'm going to say he doesn't have to stuff.

204
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:09,000
Just in case he wants that little edge when he goes out, he has a Steven Peartsey pouch in right there in his crotch area to where he can fill and fool all he wants.

205
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:13,000
So we know he's got big hoonies.

206
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:16,000
I mean, he's got huge nuts.

207
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:23,000
I mean, yeah, I salute you, Jeffy X.

208
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:28,000
But with this, I have to come.

209
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,000
I have to tell you this list here.

210
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:39,000
Number one fail was caviar and tube socks.

211
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,000
I don't know how the two went together.

212
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:46,000
I don't know who came up with this.

213
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,000
I get it.

214
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:48,000
I get it.

215
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:52,000
You know, people that are interested in caviar probably didn't give one ounce of shit about.

216
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,000
I'll put it like, OK, here, I'll change it.

217
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:59,000
Anyone that likes caviar does not wear tube socks, right?

218
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:06,000
They were like the old gangster silk socks or something, probably with the little suspenders on them and all that stuff.

219
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,000
Yeah.

220
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,000
Yeah.

221
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,000
So anyone that likes caviar doesn't wear tube socks.

222
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:15,000
They're like, oh, my God, that's what those cretins fucking wear.

223
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,000
I'm not a part of this.

224
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,000
So I see that.

225
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:25,000
Number two, I'm kind of I'm kind of interested about this one because I mean, this one makes a little bit of sense to me.

226
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:32,000
And Rob, you can interject caviar and banana splits.

227
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:38,000
Don't you think a little bit of fish eggs on top of the fucking ice cream mound next to the banana would be delicious?

228
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,000
I think that'd be pretty good.

229
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,000
I think so, too.

230
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:45,000
I don't know what they were thinking, what the focus group was thinking.

231
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:48,000
I have no idea.

232
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:54,000
But I know just with the whipped cream by itself.

233
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,000
Yeah.

234
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,000
Yeah.

235
00:20:56,000 --> 00:21:06,000
You'd be even just as good if you took the caviar and mixed it with sardines and mustard sauce and put it on top of the banana split with chocolate syrup.

236
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,000
Oh, there you go.

237
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,000
My mouth is my Pavlov's dog here.

238
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:15,000
I'm just like my mouth is drooling.

239
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,000
Next one to fail.

240
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,000
I think I get why.

241
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,000
But Rob, correct me if I'm wrong.

242
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:25,000
Number three is caviar and rice pudding.

243
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:32,000
Once again, we go back to our good old buddy Rice Pudding reminds people of maggots.

244
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:41,000
So you have caviar with rice pudding and you have these little eggs mixed with this maggot looking stuff.

245
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:46,000
So I could see how people like, I don't think I'm going to have anything to do with that.

246
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,000
I could see why people are standing back on that one.

247
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:51,000
So OK, I see how number three failed.

248
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,000
Do you?

249
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,000
Yes, I see.

250
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:55,000
OK.

251
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,000
All right.

252
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,000
Number four.

253
00:21:57,000 --> 00:22:00,000
I think this would have been fantastic myself.

254
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:05,000
McRib with pure diced caviar meat.

255
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:11,000
Yeah, McDonald's tried to get in the caviar game, I guess, a few years ago when they're going to make a McRib out of caviar meat.

256
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:17,000
It was going to be diced and they're going to like press it together to look like a rib and smothered in tangy barbecue sauce.

257
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,000
Right.

258
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,000
They'd give it no favor.

259
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,000
Yeah.

260
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:24,000
Once again, I don't know what the public was thinking.

261
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,000
Do you?

262
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,000
No.

263
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:33,000
Some of the greatest ideas just never got off the ground because people are narrow minded.

264
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,000
That's why, right?

265
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,000
That's exactly why.

266
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,000
Exactly.

267
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:42,000
So number five, caviar McNuggets.

268
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:45,000
They were going to bunch of...

269
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,000
That's fucked, I'm sorry.

270
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:54,000
They're going to bunch of these caviar eggs together, bread them and fry them.

271
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,000
You can't beat that, Rob.

272
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:57,000
No.

273
00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:05,000
You bite in and it's gooey and little eggs and chewy and then you got the golden brown crust.

274
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:13,000
Nice and sizzling off of being in a vat of fucking, I don't know, grease of some sort, vegetable oil.

275
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:17,000
Just the ingenuity of even the thought of it.

276
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:18,000
I know.

277
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,000
That's amazing.

278
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:28,000
Some brilliant person came up with this and no, no, no, got shot down because America's obviously narrow minded.

279
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:37,000
They are not willing to try caviar McNuggets and personally, I'm kind of somewhat insulted to live in a land that denies caviar McNuggets.

280
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,000
What about you?

281
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,000
Yeah, I totally agree with you.

282
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,000
Yep.

283
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,000
And this next one's going to make you sick.

284
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:44,000
I'm ashamed.

285
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:48,000
This next one, Rob, is going to make you sick because it didn't get off the ground either.

286
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,000
BK gets in the action.

287
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,000
BK is cool talk for Burger King, okay?

288
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:56,000
That's what the cool kids say, BK.

289
00:23:56,000 --> 00:24:00,000
BK gets in the action with caviar fries.

290
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:05,000
So you don't have to succumb to the chicken fries, which are delicious.

291
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:08,000
You can go to the caviar fries.

292
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,000
That was some.

293
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,000
Too bad you didn't eat it.

294
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,000
Yeah, again.

295
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:17,000
Nice, crispy little fry looking things with caviar in the middle and you bite into them.

296
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:29,000
You feel the gooey caviar and the moist and the chewiness and the golden brown texture of the breading.

297
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,000
Once again, don't get it.

298
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,000
But the American public said no.

299
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:38,000
They denied this beautiful concept.

300
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,000
So what are you going to do, Rob?

301
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,000
I mean, we can't get these things.

302
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,000
Yeah, I know.

303
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:48,000
I mean, I wish they didn't exist now because now I know they exist, it makes me want them worse.

304
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,000
Or they did exist.

305
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,000
Oh, tell me about it.

306
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:52,000
I might have to do my own.

307
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:55,000
I might have to buy a can of caviar and roll them in flour and fry them.

308
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:56,000
What do you think?

309
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,000
Just make my own caviar fries or McNuggets.

310
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:01,000
Yeah, let's start selling them.

311
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,000
That's a great idea.

312
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:05,000
People will come from all over.

313
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:06,000
Nobody has the trademark yet.

314
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,000
That's right.

315
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,000
They denied it.

316
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:09,000
That's right.

317
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,000
BK said no.

318
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:13,000
Once again, BK is cool to vote for Burger King.

319
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:14,000
Yes.

320
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:18,000
Number seven, caviar granola mix.

321
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:22,000
I could see that.

322
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:23,000
I could too.

323
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:24,000
Yeah.

324
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,000
Yeah.

325
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:37,000
And let me remind you, I may come up with or we may come up with, me or Rob may come up with an apocalypse of caviar because it's in a tin.

326
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:43,000
It'll stay good forever and great snack, right?

327
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,000
Especially in granola milk.

328
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:46,000
Or go catch a fish.

329
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:47,000
Yeah.

330
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:50,000
Granola mix and you have your tin of caviar.

331
00:25:50,000 --> 00:26:03,000
You could throw the caviar in the granola mix and you have a nice tasty snack after the post-apocalypse while you're wandering around the nuke desert or the nuke forest or whatever looking for radioactive deer to kill.

332
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,000
There you go.

333
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:10,000
Caviar granola mix while you wait for this radioactive elusive deer to come near you so you can kill it and eat it.

334
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:13,000
So moving right along.

335
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:16,000
Number eight, caviar pot pie.

336
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:22,000
Again, a big vat of deliciousness that was denied by the American pie.

337
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:23,000
I know, Rob.

338
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:24,000
I know.

339
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,000
What is wrong with these people?

340
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:27,000
I don't know.

341
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:30,000
I'm just I'm flabbergasted.

342
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:31,000
Flabbergasted.

343
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:32,000
What about you?

344
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,000
Are you flabbergasted?

345
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:37,000
I'm overly flabbergasted.

346
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:38,000
Me too.

347
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,000
Yes.

348
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,000
So yeah.

349
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:41,000
Yeah.

350
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:42,000
Yep.

351
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:43,000
Sorry.

352
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:46,000
I'm kind of slap happy because of lack of sleep and shitting my brains out.

353
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,000
So I'm laughing at everything.

354
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:48,000
You are correct.

355
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:52,000
I am laughing at everything because everything is extremely funny to me right now.

356
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:55,000
So all right.

357
00:26:55,000 --> 00:27:02,000
Number nine, caviar menthol snuff.

358
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:05,000
Rob, that's your department.

359
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,000
No.

360
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,000
No.

361
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:09,000
What is it?

362
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:12,000
Is it the gooeyness of the eggs in your lip?

363
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,000
It'd be too mushy.

364
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,000
Oh, wait a minute.

365
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:16,000
Wait a minute.

366
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:17,000
It's snuff.

367
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,000
So you snuff it.

368
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,000
OK, I get it.

369
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,000
Oh, that.

370
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:21,000
Yeah.

371
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:22,000
Yeah.

372
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:23,000
Yeah.

373
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,000
I don't know about.

374
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:25,000
I just broke it down and figured it out.

375
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:26,000
OK.

376
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:27,000
The snuff you sniff, right?

377
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:28,000
You sniff it up your nose.

378
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:29,000
Yeah.

379
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:30,000
Never got that.

380
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:31,000
Never known why people bothered to do that.

381
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:32,000
Well, you wouldn't want them caviar chunks going up your nose.

382
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:33,000
Exactly.

383
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:34,000
Yeah.

384
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:35,000
Then you'd be hacking them out and stuff and spitting them all.

385
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:36,000
Yeah.

386
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:37,000
Yeah.

387
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:38,000
It'd be, number one, a waste of money because you'll be hacking them out and spitting them

388
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:39,000
all over the ground.

389
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:40,000
Number two, I mean, you don't want that in your nostril cavity anyhow.

390
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:41,000
So OK.

391
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:42,000
I get it.

392
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:43,000
So all right.

393
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:44,000
OK.

394
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:45,000
So I'm going to go ahead and do that.

395
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:46,000
OK.

396
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:47,000
So I'm going to go ahead and do that.

397
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:48,000
OK.

398
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:56,320
So I'm going to go ahead and do that.

399
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:57,440
All right.

400
00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:02,360
Number two, I mean, you don't want that in your nostril cavity anyhow.

401
00:28:02,360 --> 00:28:03,360
So OK.

402
00:28:03,360 --> 00:28:04,360
I get it.

403
00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:05,920
So all right.

404
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:07,960
I get that one.

405
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:15,560
And number 10, this is kind of depressing here because I was waiting for it, caviar

406
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:16,560
cola.

407
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:17,560
Wow.

408
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:18,560
Yeah.

409
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:22,880
I mean, you can imagine the logo.

410
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:26,880
It could have like a little happy fish on there smiling at you.

411
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:31,640
And it'd be like a red cam with like blue lettering that says caviar cola in cursive

412
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:32,640
kind of like Coca-Cola.

413
00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:33,640
Oh, wait a minute.

414
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:34,640
It can't say cola, can it?

415
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:35,640
It can't.

416
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:36,640
Because we found it in the letter.

417
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:37,640
No, you can't say.

418
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:38,640
Yeah, yeah.

419
00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:39,640
Yeah, you can't say cola.

420
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:40,640
Yeah, yeah.

421
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:45,040
Only Coca-Cola can say cola because they sued the piss out of people.

422
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:53,160
According to the Royal Crown Cola article I read last week on their beginnings.

423
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:58,200
So okay, it would just be caviar and then it below would be say, it would say something

424
00:28:58,200 --> 00:28:59,760
like cola flavored beverage.

425
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:01,560
Yeah, cola flavored, yeah.

426
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:04,360
Yeah, with bits of caviar or something like that.

427
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:07,840
So that is all of the lists that Jeffy X got us.

428
00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:09,680
Jeffy X, thank you so much.

429
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:11,680
You are an amazing talent.

430
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:14,240
How you get this stuff, I have no idea.

431
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:16,600
I mean he has to risk his life, right?

432
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:17,600
He has to get into these places.

433
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:18,600
Oh, he does.

434
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:19,600
Yeah, yeah.

435
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:22,600
Very high security areas.

436
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:26,200
Yeah, and then he has to come up, he has to get all these lists.

437
00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:33,440
He not only has to infiltrate these organizations or these businesses, but he also has to get

438
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:35,760
complete reports on what has failed.

439
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:36,960
I mean how do you do that?

440
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:40,840
I mean that guy is just, he's fucking, he's balls, man.

441
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:43,120
He's 100% fucking balls, that guy.

442
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:44,400
Yes he is.

443
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:46,480
Yeah, so Jeffy X, thank you.

444
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:51,960
Anyhow, let's take our first break and we will be right back and see if you got something

445
00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:52,960
on your mind, Rob.

446
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:53,960
All righty.

447
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:54,960
Okay, be right back.

448
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:59,960
As pleasant as 50 grit sandpaper to your inner thighs.

449
00:29:59,960 --> 00:30:09,600
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

450
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:39,520
The wild violet is an unsung hero.

451
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:43,640
Most people don't realize that the flower can be stewed to make a delicious vinegar

452
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:47,200
for the fresh greens that can be picked in your front yard.

453
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:49,840
Violet soap can be easily made as well.

454
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:56,420
The flower is full of many essential minerals as well as vitamin A, C, and E. It is literally

455
00:30:56,420 --> 00:30:58,320
one of the first super foods.

456
00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:01,200
A lot of podcasts just come from a can.

457
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:29,120
Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we pour our own podcasts.

458
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:33,080
Two Douchebags and a Microphone, on Mark.

459
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:34,080
And I'm Rob.

460
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:35,080
All right, Rob.

461
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:39,960
You have something you want to speak about, you got something on your mind, you got something

462
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:40,960
you want to say.

463
00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:46,640
I ran across this story a while ago and since you're in such a laughing mood, you might

464
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:49,040
get a little extra ha ha out of it.

465
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:52,600
I probably will.

466
00:31:52,600 --> 00:32:00,200
Jason Kelsey had quite the welcome at a hot dog stand in Chicago called the Winner's Circle.

467
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,200
Um, I've actually been there.

468
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:03,200
The Winner's Circle.

469
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:04,200
Yeah, I've been there.

470
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:05,200
It's a good place.

471
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:15,040
On Wednesday, the Philadelphia Eagle Center stopped by the Winner's Circle in the city

472
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:24,400
where he was greeted by a sign that read, Welcome Taylor's Boyfriend's Brother.

473
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:25,400
I do like it.

474
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:38,960
Along with being referred to as Taylor's Boyfriend's Brother, the Eagle also put together another

475
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:44,600
cheeky sign for Jason that read, Welcome the Other Kelsey Brother.

476
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:51,520
In their show of pictures, he's loving it.

477
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:53,040
He's having a good time.

478
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:58,920
Jason Kelsey seems to be a very, a very fun-loving dude, just like his brother.

479
00:32:58,920 --> 00:32:59,920
They seem to just-

480
00:32:59,920 --> 00:33:03,800
Oh, he's even wearing one of their shirts in this picture.

481
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:04,800
Which one is it?

482
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:05,800
What does it look like?

483
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:15,440
Uh, it's yellow with red lettering, the Winner's Circle.

484
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:18,800
Okay, that's different than the shirt I got from there.

485
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:19,800
But, okay, that's alright.

486
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:20,800
I was just wondering-

487
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:23,800
Yeah, it's got a big hot, yeah, it's got a big hot dog.

488
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:24,800
Yeah.

489
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:25,800
Oh, it has a hot dog on it?

490
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:27,800
Is the hot dog dressed up?

491
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:28,800
Yeah.

492
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:29,800
Uh, it's twisted.

493
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:34,800
It's a hot dog in the barn.

494
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:35,800
Okay, that's different.

495
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:36,800
Okay, that's cool.

496
00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:37,800
Okay.

497
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:43,320
Alright, it's slightly different, but anyhow, it doesn't matter.

498
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:44,800
It's just my own curiosity.

499
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:45,800
It didn't matter.

500
00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:47,800
It didn't pertain to anything.

501
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:50,160
Okay, that's pretty cool.

502
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:51,160
Very cool.

503
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:52,160
Yeah.

504
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:53,960
Yeah, I'm glad he took it well.

505
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:56,040
Yeah, he has been.

506
00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:57,040
He has fun with it.

507
00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:58,040
He has to.

508
00:33:58,040 --> 00:33:59,040
He has to.

509
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:02,000
Well, another thing is it really helps his podcast out.

510
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:06,080
You know, their podcast like tripled in numbers from what I understand.

511
00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:10,560
And the reason is because there are a lot of Swifties listening to it now because that's

512
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:15,680
Taylor's boyfriend and that other guy, his brother or something.

513
00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:22,200
You know, just like all these Swifties that are buying the Kelsey jerseys and the Swift

514
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:27,280
Chiefs jerseys and all that, I mean, they don't give one ounce of fuck about football,

515
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:31,080
but they're buying the merchandise and watching the product.

516
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:37,800
And this has been the best thing to happen to the NFL since Deflategate.

517
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:49,820
So anyhow, because I remember Deflategate, everybody thought they were getting back at

518
00:34:49,820 --> 00:34:53,640
Brady for being a perennial winner or whatever.

519
00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:54,640
Yeah.

520
00:34:54,640 --> 00:35:00,080
So anyhow, personally, I don't give a shit about that because I think all teams will

521
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:05,600
cheat to a certain degree if they have the opportunity.

522
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:10,480
Now the other stuff I do not agree with, the Belichick stuff that they said that they did,

523
00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:16,600
if they in fact did do that and filmed the other teams in practice, that's too dirty.

524
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:19,840
And that is not right.

525
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:20,840
Right.

526
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:21,840
Yeah.

527
00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:26,920
That was, if that is true, that's horrible because I know the Patriots, I think it was

528
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:31,000
against the Rams with Dick Vermille leading the Rams.

529
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:32,000
He said it was so...

530
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:33,000
I think so.

531
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:34,000
Yeah.

532
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:38,600
He said, this is what he said after the Super Bowl and you can look it up on YouTube or

533
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:39,600
whatever.

534
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:43,920
He said, it's like they knew what we're going to do before we did it.

535
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,040
Now how could that happen?

536
00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:51,600
Well, filming the other people practicing is how that can happen.

537
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:52,600
Now did that happen?

538
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:53,600
I don't know.

539
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:55,600
It could have happened very easily.

540
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:57,560
They were filming.

541
00:35:57,560 --> 00:35:59,560
So anyhow.

542
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:03,640
But the whole thing was, I'm not necessarily mad at Brady about the flake game.

543
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:05,680
Who cares?

544
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:09,080
He would probably still win all the Super Bowls anyhow.

545
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:12,560
Now the other one, if they were filming the other teams, then yes.

546
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:17,080
I mean, in my opinion, they should have stripped him of every title if that was true.

547
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:18,080
So anyhow.

548
00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:23,020
Now I am a firm believer in watching game tapes.

549
00:36:23,020 --> 00:36:24,020
Game tapes are different.

550
00:36:24,020 --> 00:36:29,760
Yeah, game tapes are, but secretly filming, hell no.

551
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:30,760
Yeah I agree.

552
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:31,760
No.

553
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:38,560
Oh, a couple of things I want to address here real quick is, Bill's Mafia, where are you

554
00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:39,560
now?

555
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:43,480
Where are you now Bill's Mafia?

556
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:48,160
I heard smack and gun bumping for the last four fucking years.

557
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:53,400
And all of a sudden you guys hit a rough patch and I don't hear one fucking thing.

558
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:54,400
Nothing.

559
00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:55,840
Come on, sack up.

560
00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:57,560
I want to hear something.

561
00:36:57,560 --> 00:37:00,040
I want to fucking hear something.

562
00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:03,440
You damn well bet if that's the Chiefs that had a skid like that, I'd still be mouthing

563
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,560
off going, well we're still going to beat your ass you way.

564
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:07,240
We'll see you playoff time.

565
00:37:07,240 --> 00:37:08,240
But nothing man.

566
00:37:08,240 --> 00:37:10,280
Cricket's over there.

567
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:15,480
So I don't know, they fired their offensive coordinator and they got someone else in there.

568
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:19,640
But I'll tell you what, all the turnovers that they do, that is not an offensive coordinator

569
00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:21,580
issue.

570
00:37:21,580 --> 00:37:27,320
That is a coaching issue, a training issue.

571
00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:33,740
You don't get that sloppy by someone calling the wrong calls.

572
00:37:33,740 --> 00:37:39,640
You get that sloppy by not practicing right, not being dedicated.

573
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:42,880
So anyhow, Bill's Mafia, where are you?

574
00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:45,040
Bengals fans, where are you?

575
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:49,200
All of a sudden they're crickets over there too.

576
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:55,120
I am starting to hear some chirping from Ravens fans though, even though they lost last week.

577
00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:57,440
Dolphins fans, they're Johnny cum ladies.

578
00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:01,360
They didn't care for the Dolphins three years ago, four years ago.

579
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:07,120
But when they got Tyreek Hill and Tago Viola started throwing decent and they got Waddle

580
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:13,600
and then Mozart or whatever his name is and then a decent defense, all of a sudden all

581
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:15,840
these Dolphin fans fucking appear out of nowhere.

582
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:18,080
Oh yeah, I loved them all my life.

583
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:19,280
How's that outcome?

584
00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:22,920
Your jersey was bought three days ago?

585
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:26,320
You know, so anyhow.

586
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:28,800
I've got an interesting story here Rob.

587
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:29,800
Okay.

588
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:31,360
All right.

589
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:38,200
A tenant stopped paying rent and listed his landlord's home on Airbnb.

590
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:46,360
The landlord says he's now stuck living in a van after the man stopped paying rent.

591
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:53,800
He says the tenant owns nearly 50,000 and has refused to leave the home for months.

592
00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:58,680
The pair are fighting it out in court and the next hearing is in March.

593
00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:04,960
So he's got at least four more months of living in his van while he tries to get this guy

594
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:05,960
evicted.

595
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:06,960
Really?

596
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:07,960
Yeah.

597
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:08,960
Yeah.

598
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:09,960
Yeah.

599
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:10,960
I read that one too.

600
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:11,960
Yeah.

601
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:17,400
The pair are fighting it out in court, the homeowner who rented out his home to pay for

602
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:26,040
pilot school says he is now living in a van because he can't evict a tenant who he says

603
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:28,360
owes 50,000 in back rent.

604
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:29,720
I need my house.

605
00:39:29,720 --> 00:39:33,640
All the media is fine, but it doesn't really do me any good.

606
00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:39,120
Hopefully we'll change the laws to help the owners in situations like this.

607
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:45,560
A guy I knew growing up, he had a bunch of rental property and I don't know if you can

608
00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:46,560
still do this.

609
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:51,760
I don't know if it's still lawful to do this, but Yoda used to do to get rid of them, Rob.

610
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:52,760
What?

611
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:55,800
He would wait till they left and he would remove the front and back door.

612
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:59,760
I didn't do that just.

613
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:00,760
Yeah.

614
00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:01,760
He would remove them.

615
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:04,920
He would throw the doors in the back of his truck and he would leave.

616
00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:10,640
Only one tenant put another couple of doors on.

617
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:16,680
Everyone else left because it was cold out or whatever or they couldn't protect their

618
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:19,960
stuff inside because both doors were gone.

619
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:24,120
I don't know if you could do that anymore, but yeah, he used to remove both doors and

620
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:25,120
he'd go, just wait.

621
00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:26,120
He'd go, Mark, watch.

622
00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:28,460
He said they'll be gone in three days.

623
00:40:28,460 --> 00:40:33,400
Most of the time he was right, except for one tenant went out and got a couple more

624
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:36,760
doors and I really had a good ha ha after him on that.

625
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:38,920
I'm like, that really worked, didn't it?

626
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:41,520
He's like, yeah, most of the times it works.

627
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:42,520
You saw it.

628
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:44,320
I was like, yeah.

629
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:49,320
Some people are a little bit more resilient than that.

630
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:53,840
I really don't think you can legally get away with it these days.

631
00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:54,840
Probably not.

632
00:40:54,840 --> 00:41:00,320
I know his grounds were I'm doing home improvements, but I have to do them myself because I can't

633
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:04,120
afford to pay anybody because they're not paying their rent.

634
00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:07,320
When he'd go to court, if he went to court, that's what he would say.

635
00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:11,080
Most of the times the court would be like, I get it.

636
00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:12,080
Guy's not paying rent.

637
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,040
You can't afford to pay anyone to do the repairs.

638
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:16,640
He said, yeah, these doors are in desperate repair.

639
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:22,660
I took them both off and I got to save up the money to get the doors.

640
00:41:22,660 --> 00:41:28,480
The courts knew it was a wink, wink, nudge, nudge, but it was a loophole.

641
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:32,600
It was a loophole where the guy could do it.

642
00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:36,800
Nowadays there's probably all these squatter laws and stuff to where they can't do that

643
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:41,560
and he'd probably get sued by the squatters and have to fucking give them the house.

644
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:45,880
All the bullshit rules they have nowadays is just insane and they're not tailored for

645
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:49,440
anybody trying to do fair business in America.

646
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:56,040
Anyhow, Rob, you got another story you want to go into or anything?

647
00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:57,040
Yeah.

648
00:41:57,040 --> 00:42:04,040
It looks like Stephen A. Smith to add it again.

649
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:05,040
Yeah.

650
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:06,040
Yeah.

651
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:07,040
When is he?

652
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:08,040
What now?

653
00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:16,200
Stephen A. Smith is sick and tired of watching the New York Giants play in coded television

654
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:17,200
windows.

655
00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:23,040
Okay, everybody, don't shoot the messenger on this.

656
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:29,640
The Giants are about to be two and eight, well, this was a couple days ago before their

657
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:30,640
last game.

658
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:31,640
Okay.

659
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:40,120
They're about to be two and eight after getting blown out by the Dallas Cowboys and are down

660
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:45,160
to their third string quarterback, un-drackered rookie Tommy DeVito.

661
00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:51,280
Today's game was on Marshall TV as Fox's Game of the Week.

662
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:57,720
The Giants have also been in prime time on multiple other occasions this season and with

663
00:42:57,720 --> 00:43:06,720
Big Blue struggling immensely, Stephen A. took to ex Twitter to try to shame the NFL

664
00:43:06,720 --> 00:43:09,520
into keeping the G-Men off the air.

665
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:13,880
This is what he wrote.

666
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:19,480
The NFL has to be shamed into keeping the Giants off the Marshall TV.

667
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:21,480
This team is just a disaster.

668
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:25,920
They are the swamp in East Rufford, New Jersey.

669
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:31,040
They don't even look qualified to be an NFL team.

670
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:37,160
Good Lord, Smith wrote.

671
00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:43,240
I like what the person that wrote this article added after that.

672
00:43:43,240 --> 00:43:45,880
What did he add?

673
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:53,000
As the Giants are one of the NFL's more popular franchises and were coming off a playoff berth

674
00:43:53,000 --> 00:44:00,720
in 2022, it makes some sense why they were given some prime time air time this fall.

675
00:44:00,720 --> 00:44:07,280
However, it has to be a decision the league and the networks are regretting given how

676
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:10,040
the season has unfolded.

677
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:14,080
I think, I'm not for sure, but I think this here, Rob.

678
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:20,600
I think that maybe Romo and is it Nance, Jim Nance is a sidekick?

679
00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:24,640
I think they may have something written in their contract where they can't switch their

680
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:25,640
games.

681
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:28,920
So if they say they're coming to Dallas, they're coming to Dallas.

682
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:32,960
They're not going to get a surprise and go out to California to cover a Sam Fran game

683
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:39,520
because the Giants are horrible this year when they're expected to be a playoff team.

684
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:45,000
David Daniel Jones is supposed to make that leap up into the elite status and all that

685
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:46,000
stuff.

686
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:47,000
Shaquan Barkley was back.

687
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:52,000
You know, all this stuff that was supposed to happen, but as we know too well in football,

688
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:54,600
a lot of what's supposed to happen does not happen.

689
00:44:54,600 --> 00:45:01,920
Ask the Bills, ask the Bengals, ask the Texans who were on a surge.

690
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:05,880
CJ Stroud is fucking throwing his ass off looking my homes like.

691
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:09,000
That guy is really looking good.

692
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:14,360
So nothing ever happens usually like it's supposed to.

693
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:19,480
Of course, Philadelphia and Kansas City are at the top of each conference.

694
00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:25,600
They kind of expected that because not that much has changed between the two teams.

695
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:30,240
But stuff like the Giants where a bunch of different things happened and stuff like that,

696
00:45:30,240 --> 00:45:32,740
you can't really control that, right?

697
00:45:32,740 --> 00:45:37,920
You pencil that game in and I don't know if this is true, but I thought I read or someone

698
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:44,080
told me that Romo and Nance have it in their contract where they can't pull the rug out

699
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:46,120
from under him.

700
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:53,760
I believe that's probably the reason that Al Michaels left NBC and went to Amazon Prime.

701
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:58,040
Shitty games, but he knows where he's going every week.

702
00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:01,840
He's up in his 70s and he doesn't want to be switched out.

703
00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:06,400
I think that may be what's going on over there at Fox and why they have a Doug game and they

704
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:11,440
can't all of a sudden just go, let's go to this game.

705
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:12,800
This is more competitive.

706
00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:16,720
However, what they have been doing though, and they've done this for a few years now

707
00:46:16,720 --> 00:46:21,480
and I think you probably noticed this too Rob, what they'll do is if a game starts getting

708
00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:24,200
out of hand a lot of times they'll just start switching to another game.

709
00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:29,080
They may not leave the game completely, but they'll go, oh, check out this play from so

710
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:32,960
and so and then they'll go to that and they'll spend a couple of minutes there and then they'll

711
00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:36,680
come back to the boring game that's a blowout, right?

712
00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:37,680
Yeah.

713
00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:38,680
Yeah.

714
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:43,320
So anyhow, and I don't know contractually how many times they can do that either because

715
00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:51,080
I imagine there is probably a limit on the amount of times they can switch out of the

716
00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:56,080
game and legally call it their game of the week.

717
00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:57,960
So did you have any more on that?

718
00:46:57,960 --> 00:46:59,960
Because I kind of just started talking.

719
00:46:59,960 --> 00:47:00,960
No, no, that was it.

720
00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:01,960
That was the end of it.

721
00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:02,960
Okay.

722
00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:03,960
Yeah.

723
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:09,480
Well, let's come right back and when we come back we shall have a dear douchebags.

724
00:47:09,480 --> 00:47:11,040
That sound good?

725
00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:12,560
Sounds awesome.

726
00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:19,640
All right, we'll be right back in a couple of minutes.

727
00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:22,640
Next up, things overheard in hell.

728
00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:24,080
Great news.

729
00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:29,480
William Hung's world tour has been extended.

730
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:36,080
Now, deep thoughts with Mark.

731
00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:39,280
So I order spaghetti and meatballs.

732
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:42,940
My meatballs automatically fall apart as soon as I touch them.

733
00:47:42,940 --> 00:47:49,920
So then does my dish automatically change its name to spaghetti and meat sauce?

734
00:47:49,920 --> 00:47:52,920
I may never know.

735
00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:59,800
Break Shit House energy drink.

736
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:00,800
That's right.

737
00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:01,800
Break Shit House energy drink.

738
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:02,800
Make men and women go.

739
00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:03,800
You want your balls?

740
00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:04,800
You want to fuck shit up?

741
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:05,800
You want to force gun across America?

742
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:11,520
Break Shit House is for you.

743
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:14,360
Please enjoy Break Shit House energy drink responsibly.

744
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:17,920
It's not readily available anywhere because of liability issues.

745
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:21,160
You're all aware of the Amber Alert, right?

746
00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:24,720
Well, get rid of your disinfectants and rubber bedspreads, kids.

747
00:48:24,720 --> 00:48:27,680
It's the all new Amber Heard Alert system.

748
00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:31,800
This fantastic early warning device helps one stay dry and rid of all those annoying

749
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:33,640
mattress invoices.

750
00:48:33,640 --> 00:48:38,920
Simply hook up to child under six or psychopath and wait for the running water sound.

751
00:48:38,920 --> 00:48:43,480
This clever machine has three distinct settings, babbling brook, ocean waves and roaring river

752
00:48:43,480 --> 00:48:45,600
for those close call.

753
00:48:45,600 --> 00:49:09,440
Order today and get a free Cinnabon Renews It cartridge.

754
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:13,920
Two douchebags and a microphone on Mark.

755
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:14,920
And on the rocks.

756
00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:15,920
All right.

757
00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:18,600
As promised to dear douchebags.

758
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:19,600
Okay.

759
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:25,240
Dear douchebags, I often listen to your podcast at my job.

760
00:49:25,240 --> 00:49:30,360
Most of us love it, but one Dicks Mac keeps changing the podcast to true crime BS.

761
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:34,520
BS is short for bullshit for you people that are not in the loop.

762
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:35,520
Right, Rob?

763
00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:36,520
Can you back me up?

764
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:39,520
Actually, I think that was on that list I gave you the other night.

765
00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:40,520
Oh, it was, wasn't it?

766
00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:46,320
I had one word to the word shit and it means something totally different.

767
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:47,320
That's right.

768
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:48,320
It was.

769
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:53,480
So the cool kids can say BS, but we know they're talking about bullshit.

770
00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:56,200
So I really, I really need your help.

771
00:49:56,200 --> 00:50:02,080
The city that is grinding down my last nerve signed no douche in Toulouse.

772
00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:03,580
Now this is not Toulouse street.

773
00:50:03,580 --> 00:50:06,800
This is Toulouse, Alabama, I believe.

774
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:11,480
But it could be Toulouse street and it could be our friend that, that emailed us.

775
00:50:11,480 --> 00:50:13,680
Yeah, it could be.

776
00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:17,800
But I, the way it's written here, I think it's Toulouse, Alabama, but I'm not for sure.

777
00:50:17,800 --> 00:50:24,240
So let's, let's say it's to, let's say it's Toulouse, Alabama, but dude from Toulouse

778
00:50:24,240 --> 00:50:26,360
email me if this is you.

779
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:34,640
So anyhow, number one thing that you can do about said Dicks Mac is this plant cocaine

780
00:50:34,640 --> 00:50:39,080
on it, on the Dicks Mac and call the cops on him.

781
00:50:39,080 --> 00:50:44,480
That work just kind of like walk by and just kind of, you know, kind of bump into him a

782
00:50:44,480 --> 00:50:49,400
little bit there and then ask him a question while you're throwing the cocaine in his jacket

783
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:50,400
pocket go.

784
00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:51,400
Yeah.

785
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:53,800
Hey, uh, Hey, that podcast you listen to, what's the name of it?

786
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:55,240
Man, it's pretty interesting.

787
00:50:55,240 --> 00:50:58,280
And then while you're doing that, you just throw the little baggie of cocaine in there

788
00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:02,760
and then you call the cops and say, he's trying to sell it around the office.

789
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:06,440
And then, you know, the cops come in and he's going to, of course like, Oh, it's not mine.

790
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:07,720
And then they're going to piss them off.

791
00:51:07,720 --> 00:51:11,240
They're probably going to beat the shit out of them and you'll get to witness it all.

792
00:51:11,240 --> 00:51:12,240
Right?

793
00:51:12,240 --> 00:51:13,240
Yeah.

794
00:51:13,240 --> 00:51:18,600
I thought we would have done back in the day.

795
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:19,600
Hell yeah.

796
00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:22,720
It is plant cocaine on them and then fucking call the cops.

797
00:51:22,720 --> 00:51:24,560
Watch watch the little party ensue.

798
00:51:24,560 --> 00:51:27,920
They won't bother you for a while.

799
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:28,920
No, no.

800
00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:32,160
As a matter of fact, when they heal and get out of jail, they'll probably stay way the

801
00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:33,880
fuck away from you.

802
00:51:33,880 --> 00:51:35,200
Even if they know you did it.

803
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:37,360
They're going to go, Oh fuck, those guys are hardcore.

804
00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:39,200
I don't know what they're going to do next.

805
00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:47,520
So number two, take the biggest meanest person you know, and write his wife love letters

806
00:51:47,520 --> 00:51:50,840
from the Dix Mac's name.

807
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:59,560
I love that one.

808
00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:02,480
Dix Mac comes in all black and blue one day.

809
00:52:02,480 --> 00:52:04,400
Hey, what happened to you?

810
00:52:04,400 --> 00:52:05,400
Oh, man.

811
00:52:05,400 --> 00:52:06,400
Oh good.

812
00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:09,640
You guys said something about his wife and letters.

813
00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:11,320
I never met the guy before.

814
00:52:11,320 --> 00:52:13,320
Beat the shit out of me.

815
00:52:13,320 --> 00:52:14,320
No shit.

816
00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:15,320
Really?

817
00:52:15,320 --> 00:52:16,320
Wow.

818
00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:23,880
So, and then you can mention something like, yeah, if you turn that fucking podcast again,

819
00:52:23,880 --> 00:52:24,880
it's going to happen again.

820
00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:28,400
Motherfucker.

821
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:34,000
So number three, give us his name for an invisible ass paddling.

822
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:40,960
We will gladly paddle some Dix Mac that keeps changing our podcast to true crime podcast.

823
00:52:40,960 --> 00:52:41,960
Agreed?

824
00:52:41,960 --> 00:52:44,760
It's all self defense.

825
00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:49,280
You know, I talked to the genie and he said that he would be willing to let us have an

826
00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:51,640
extra paddling for this guy.

827
00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:52,640
Cool.

828
00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:55,960
You know, we're supposed to do it once a month, right?

829
00:52:55,960 --> 00:52:56,960
Yeah.

830
00:52:56,960 --> 00:53:00,880
Well, I've been talking to him because there's so many idiots in the news and we're kind

831
00:53:00,880 --> 00:53:02,280
of been like going back and forth.

832
00:53:02,280 --> 00:53:08,160
He's thinking about granting us a little special permission to maybe do a couple of extra ass

833
00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:11,920
paddlings a month and include this guy in it.

834
00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:18,520
So render his name to us and where to find him and we'll see if we can't do an ass paddling.

835
00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:24,080
So number four, invisible ass paddling that is, and if anyone doesn't realize it.

836
00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:25,080
Well, you know what?

837
00:53:25,080 --> 00:53:26,520
I'm not even going to go into the story.

838
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:27,880
It's that we're invisible.

839
00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:32,560
You know, we, we found a genie me and Topher did quite a while ago and he granted us one

840
00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:35,920
wish and our wish was to be invisible so we could paddle people's asses.

841
00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:37,480
No, we didn't want to save the world.

842
00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:39,880
No, we didn't want to help the environment.

843
00:53:39,880 --> 00:53:42,120
No, we didn't want to solve world hunger.

844
00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:45,360
We want to paddle people's asses that need it because we're kind of, we're that kind

845
00:53:45,360 --> 00:53:46,360
of morons.

846
00:53:46,360 --> 00:53:48,000
So, okay.

847
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:55,480
Number four, I assure the podcast are access from one main computer.

848
00:53:55,480 --> 00:53:59,440
So I would try to lock up the screen.

849
00:53:59,440 --> 00:54:01,080
So this is at work.

850
00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:05,640
So you have one main computer with a Bluetooth enabled or speakers coming from it, right?

851
00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:09,000
So that's how you access the podcast or that'd be about the only way.

852
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:12,880
I guess it could be someone's phone, but if it's coming from your phone, the guy couldn't

853
00:54:12,880 --> 00:54:14,060
touch it.

854
00:54:14,060 --> 00:54:20,760
So I'm saying this is probably access from a, from a desktop lock that screen up on him,

855
00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:25,320
put in our podcasts and lock that screen up with a code that they don't know.

856
00:54:25,320 --> 00:54:31,720
And then the only person that get into it is you problem solved.

857
00:54:31,720 --> 00:54:34,480
Yep.

858
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:38,560
Number five, and this makes the most sense, Rob, you tell me if this doesn't make the

859
00:54:38,560 --> 00:54:40,600
most sense.

860
00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:45,240
Put on our podcast, start from number one, it will automatically load to the next one

861
00:54:45,240 --> 00:54:48,960
in order and take the monitor with you.

862
00:54:48,960 --> 00:54:51,800
There you go.

863
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:52,800
Yes.

864
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:57,880
And anyhow, whoever wrote this out, thanks for listening.

865
00:54:57,880 --> 00:54:58,880
Go fuck yourself.

866
00:54:58,880 --> 00:54:59,880
Thank you.

867
00:54:59,880 --> 00:55:00,880
I'm sorry.

868
00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:07,640
I told you to go fuck yourself, but it just adds, it adds a little flavor to it.

869
00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:08,640
Thanks for listening.

870
00:55:08,640 --> 00:55:09,640
Go fuck yourself.

871
00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:10,640
Oh, anyhow.

872
00:55:10,640 --> 00:55:14,960
All right, Rob, we turn to you.

873
00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:15,960
You got something?

874
00:55:15,960 --> 00:55:25,840
Have you ever wondered what the strange metal plates at the Missouri intersections are at

875
00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:28,160
light crosswalks?

876
00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:31,960
I think they're for Braille for blind people, aren't they?

877
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:32,960
Okay.

878
00:55:32,960 --> 00:55:36,160
Well, I've heard different stories.

879
00:55:36,160 --> 00:55:43,120
I've heard that there's detectors in them that way you just step on them and it has

880
00:55:43,120 --> 00:55:45,880
to do with the light change in it.

881
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:46,880
I've heard all kinds of stories.

882
00:55:46,880 --> 00:55:47,880
There's a couple of-

883
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:48,880
Well, if this adds, it breaks it down.

884
00:55:48,880 --> 00:55:49,880
Go ahead.

885
00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:50,880
Okay.

886
00:55:50,880 --> 00:56:01,000
They're called detectable warning plates and they are in place for the vision impaired

887
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:02,000
among us.

888
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:03,000
Okay.

889
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:11,320
Mainline Materials, a warning plate manufacturing company, says they alert the visually impaired

890
00:56:11,320 --> 00:56:16,400
that there is either a crosswalk or a walkway transition nearby.

891
00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:18,800
Okay, so it's not actually Braille.

892
00:56:18,800 --> 00:56:23,120
It's just something that warns them they hear the metal and they go, oh, okay.

893
00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:30,000
Well, actually, they went to more like a rubber padding or it's weird material.

894
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:31,000
Okay, okay.

895
00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:35,120
They've got different looks to them now.

896
00:56:35,120 --> 00:56:36,120
So the thing I want to-

897
00:56:36,120 --> 00:56:37,120
One of them's like a brick color.

898
00:56:37,120 --> 00:56:38,120
Yeah, I've seen those.

899
00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:41,480
They're like, oh, yeah, I've seen those.

900
00:56:41,480 --> 00:56:43,240
You're coming up to something.

901
00:56:43,240 --> 00:56:44,640
So it's not even Braille.

902
00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:48,400
It's just like a break in the pattern to let them know that there's something coming up.

903
00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:49,400
Right.

904
00:56:49,400 --> 00:56:50,400
Okay.

905
00:56:50,400 --> 00:56:55,080
All this time, there's little bumps on there generally in the city.

906
00:56:55,080 --> 00:56:56,600
I thought that was Braille.

907
00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:57,600
I guess not.

908
00:56:57,600 --> 00:57:02,880
For some reason, I thought the blind could go there with their feet and go, oh, okay.

909
00:57:02,880 --> 00:57:05,360
This says cautious crosswalk.

910
00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:06,360
I don't know.

911
00:57:06,360 --> 00:57:07,360
Okay, cool.

912
00:57:07,360 --> 00:57:08,360
Okay, that's cool.

913
00:57:08,360 --> 00:57:09,360
Yeah.

914
00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:10,360
Wow.

915
00:57:10,360 --> 00:57:11,360
Okay.

916
00:57:11,360 --> 00:57:12,360
That's-

917
00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:14,360
Just some information that-

918
00:57:14,360 --> 00:57:15,920
Cool.

919
00:57:15,920 --> 00:57:19,080
So you said that you know this new Fort Scott listener.

920
00:57:19,080 --> 00:57:20,080
Is that what you said?

921
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:21,080
Yes, I do.

922
00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:22,080
Cool.

923
00:57:22,080 --> 00:57:23,080
It's my cousin, Bonnie.

924
00:57:23,080 --> 00:57:24,080
Okay.

925
00:57:24,080 --> 00:57:25,080
What did Bonnie say?

926
00:57:25,080 --> 00:57:26,080
Does she like the show?

927
00:57:26,080 --> 00:57:27,080
Yeah, yeah.

928
00:57:27,080 --> 00:57:28,080
She's going to catch some more.

929
00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:29,080
She's been down sick with the flu a little bit lately.

930
00:57:29,080 --> 00:57:38,080
That's a good time to catch up with us.

931
00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:43,080
Yeah, she's back up and going.

932
00:57:43,080 --> 00:57:46,080
She's going to start listening.

933
00:57:46,080 --> 00:57:53,080
I got some other people who are going to start listening over there.

934
00:57:53,080 --> 00:57:54,080
Cool.

935
00:57:54,080 --> 00:57:55,080
Very cool.

936
00:57:55,080 --> 00:58:00,080
So, have you, did you hear the podcast I dropped today?

937
00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:02,080
No, I have not.

938
00:58:02,080 --> 00:58:05,080
I'll listen to it in the morning when I'm getting ready for work.

939
00:58:05,080 --> 00:58:09,080
I've got a new Deep Thoughts with Mark and I just want to hear what you think about it.

940
00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:10,080
All right.

941
00:58:10,080 --> 00:58:12,080
I'll let you know tomorrow night.

942
00:58:12,080 --> 00:58:14,080
Okay, sounds good.

943
00:58:14,080 --> 00:58:15,080
All right.

944
00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:16,080
Let's see.

945
00:58:16,080 --> 00:58:18,080
I'm trying to think of what else.

946
00:58:18,080 --> 00:58:19,080
Let's see.

947
00:58:19,080 --> 00:58:20,080
Our numbers are way up.

948
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:22,080
I'm really happy about that.

949
00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:25,080
I mean, it's doing fantastic.

950
00:58:25,080 --> 00:58:30,080
I'm going to break down a couple locations where we're still kicking ass at.

951
00:58:30,080 --> 00:58:35,080
Council Bluffs, we are just going berserk up there.

952
00:58:35,080 --> 00:58:38,080
I'll check that out when we get off there.

953
00:58:38,080 --> 00:58:39,080
Yeah, look it up.

954
00:58:39,080 --> 00:58:45,080
Council Bluffs is our third best market and the first two markets are Kansas City, Kansas,

955
00:58:45,080 --> 00:58:46,080
and Missouri.

956
00:58:46,080 --> 00:58:53,080
Ashburn is not very far behind, but Harrisonville, Missouri has an inordinate amount of fucking

957
00:58:53,080 --> 00:58:54,080
listeners.

958
00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:57,080
I mean, Harrisonville, thank you.

959
00:58:57,080 --> 00:58:58,080
Appreciate it.

960
00:58:58,080 --> 00:59:00,080
Appreciate it a lot.

961
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:02,080
Thank you.

962
00:59:02,080 --> 00:59:03,080
Yeah.

963
00:59:03,080 --> 00:59:06,080
I mean, per capita is kind of like Adrian.

964
00:59:06,080 --> 00:59:12,080
If it's per capita, Harrisonville would probably, if that was, Harrisonville was the size of

965
00:59:12,080 --> 00:59:15,080
Kansas City, we'd have over a million listeners.

966
00:59:15,080 --> 00:59:19,080
That's how potent we are there in Harrisonville.

967
00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:22,080
Our family farm was out off GD.

968
00:59:22,080 --> 00:59:25,080
No, I know where that's at.

969
00:59:25,080 --> 00:59:26,080
Yeah.

970
00:59:26,080 --> 00:59:29,080
Yeah, so H-Town, Hooterville, thank you.

971
00:59:29,080 --> 00:59:30,080
Appreciate it.

972
00:59:30,080 --> 00:59:31,080
I'm honored.

973
00:59:31,080 --> 00:59:32,080
Thank you very much.

974
00:59:32,080 --> 00:59:34,080
Yeah, I'm really honored.

975
00:59:34,080 --> 00:59:36,080
Let's see.

976
00:59:36,080 --> 00:59:38,080
Adrian's still kicking ass.

977
00:59:38,080 --> 00:59:42,080
Columbus, Ohio is really accelerating.

978
00:59:42,080 --> 00:59:46,080
We've got some people there listening, and so is St. Louis.

979
00:59:46,080 --> 00:59:51,080
Yeah, Columbus, Ohio might be the biggest gain.

980
00:59:51,080 --> 00:59:57,080
In Denver, we've always done well in, and Denver's a pretty good market because there's

981
00:59:57,080 --> 00:59:59,080
good radio in Denver.

982
00:59:59,080 --> 01:00:05,080
There's good radio in Council Bluffs, too, from Omaha and Council Bluffs.

983
01:00:05,080 --> 01:00:07,080
I'm kind of honored to be there doing so well.

984
01:00:07,080 --> 01:00:13,080
And Harrisonville is Kansas City radio, so we have Johnny Deere.

985
01:00:13,080 --> 01:00:16,080
Oh, shit, I don't even know who else is there.

986
01:00:16,080 --> 01:00:21,080
I think Mix93 still has Rocket and Teresa or whatever.

987
01:00:21,080 --> 01:00:23,080
Slacker is off because he has leukemia.

988
01:00:23,080 --> 01:00:25,080
We're all praying for him.

989
01:00:25,080 --> 01:00:26,080
I hope he does good.

990
01:00:26,080 --> 01:00:31,080
So there's good radio that people are choosing to listen to us here, too.

991
01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:33,080
So we're very, very proud of that.

992
01:00:33,080 --> 01:00:36,080
We're picking up in Omaha really well, Springfield.

993
01:00:36,080 --> 01:00:40,080
But I know Springfield, how come it's gained so much steam?

994
01:00:40,080 --> 01:00:45,080
It's because that auto body place, was it New Century or something like that?

995
01:00:45,080 --> 01:00:47,080
Yeah, New Century.

996
01:00:47,080 --> 01:00:54,080
Yeah, well, I can see it on the numbers from there.

997
01:00:54,080 --> 01:00:57,080
So Osage Beach is Rob's fan.

998
01:00:57,080 --> 01:01:00,080
We've got some pretty good numbers from there.

999
01:01:00,080 --> 01:01:02,080
I don't know.

1000
01:01:02,080 --> 01:01:09,080
Well, a fan of us both, but they love Rob's Ozark twang, according to the emails.

1001
01:01:09,080 --> 01:01:14,080
Let's see, Brussels, Belgium, a lot of listeners there.

1002
01:01:14,080 --> 01:01:17,080
Yeah, that one blows me away.

1003
01:01:17,080 --> 01:01:20,080
Still doing good in Chicago.

1004
01:01:20,080 --> 01:01:24,080
Not as quite a fever pitch as it was there for a little bit, kind of dying down there.

1005
01:01:24,080 --> 01:01:26,080
So, yeah, you know what?

1006
01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:33,080
I'm going to fix back up because Chicago would be a great, great compliment if we could keep things going good there.

1007
01:01:33,080 --> 01:01:37,080
Because a lot of great radio originated in Chicago.

1008
01:01:37,080 --> 01:01:42,080
So, anyhow.

1009
01:01:42,080 --> 01:01:45,080
Other than that, I think that's pretty much going to conclude this podcast.

1010
01:01:45,080 --> 01:01:51,080
I think I need to get back to shitting here pretty quick.

1011
01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:52,080
So.

1012
01:01:52,080 --> 01:01:55,080
Well, on that note, I'll leave you with a final thought.

1013
01:01:55,080 --> 01:01:59,080
Oh, yeah, let's hear it.

1014
01:01:59,080 --> 01:02:06,080
If people are tough behind your back, just fart.

1015
01:02:06,080 --> 01:02:08,080
I got one for you.

1016
01:02:08,080 --> 01:02:10,080
That's good. I like it.

1017
01:02:10,080 --> 01:02:18,080
What if UFOs are billionaires from another planet?

1018
01:02:18,080 --> 01:02:19,080
See, Starly.

1019
01:02:19,080 --> 01:02:20,080
Hey, now that's something to think about.

1020
01:02:20,080 --> 01:02:21,080
It is.

1021
01:02:21,080 --> 01:02:24,080
Yeah, you know how our billionaires go sightseeing into space?

1022
01:02:24,080 --> 01:02:26,080
Maybe that's what they're doing.

1023
01:02:26,080 --> 01:02:35,080
Maybe they're like, hey, let's say they're alternate universe.

1024
01:02:35,080 --> 01:02:46,080
Jeevon Musk, or no, Jeevon Tusk has a space F that everybody can go out and jump in and go look at the Earth.

1025
01:02:46,080 --> 01:02:50,080
And hey, we think there's like weird beings there.

1026
01:02:50,080 --> 01:02:51,080
We're not for sure.

1027
01:02:51,080 --> 01:02:53,080
We think they're pretty stupid, we think.

1028
01:02:53,080 --> 01:02:58,080
So anyhow, so don't bother them because they'll start getting mad at us for no reason and then try to kill us.

1029
01:02:58,080 --> 01:02:59,080
And then we'll have to zap them.

1030
01:02:59,080 --> 01:03:00,080
But we want to do that.

1031
01:03:00,080 --> 01:03:02,080
We just want to go look at them.

1032
01:03:02,080 --> 01:03:03,080
Yeah.

1033
01:03:03,080 --> 01:03:04,080
Yeah.

1034
01:03:04,080 --> 01:03:05,080
So anyhow.

1035
01:03:05,080 --> 01:03:06,080
All right, everybody.

1036
01:03:06,080 --> 01:03:12,080
I'm going to go take a massive dump of water and everybody have a good night.

1037
01:03:12,080 --> 01:03:13,080
Thank you for listening.

1038
01:03:13,080 --> 01:03:15,080
Have a good night, everybody.

1039
01:03:15,080 --> 01:03:16,080
Oh, don't forget.

1040
01:03:16,080 --> 01:03:21,080
Tomorrow I have a full report on my ass hair.

1041
01:03:21,080 --> 01:03:23,080
Right on.

1042
01:03:23,080 --> 01:03:24,080
Yeah.

1043
01:03:24,080 --> 01:03:25,080
Yeah.

1044
01:03:25,080 --> 01:03:27,080
I'll ask the colonoscopy doctor.

1045
01:03:27,080 --> 01:03:28,080
So there.

1046
01:03:28,080 --> 01:03:30,080
Have a good night, everybody.

1047
01:03:30,080 --> 01:03:32,080
Good night.

1048
01:03:44,080 --> 01:03:46,080
Hey, where'd everybody go?

1049
01:03:46,080 --> 01:03:48,080
Where are the douchebags?

1050
01:03:48,080 --> 01:03:51,080
Oh, my God, someone took a dump in the corner.

1051
01:03:51,080 --> 01:03:53,080
Oh, geez.

1052
01:03:53,080 --> 01:03:54,080
Glad they're gone.

1053
01:03:54,080 --> 01:03:57,080
Let's just hope they don't come back.

1054
01:03:57,080 --> 01:04:20,080
Oh, man, that smells.