1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Live from the historic river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the crystal blue waters of the Missouri River, it's two douchebags and a microphone podcast. 2 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:30,000 May you always step in a wet spot after putting on fresh socks. 3 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:40,000 The Evac-Lapse just happened. You don't know what to do. You don't know where to go. But we can tell you what you can eat. 4 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:54,000 Wild asparagus is plentiful and easy to find. It can be stewed with garlic and onion, which is both wild, which can be easily found in a very tasty post-apocalypse food. 5 00:00:54,000 --> 00:01:02,000 You can make this into a delicious stew, and this will hold you over at least for a couple of days until you can find some other food. 6 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:07,000 Next up, Kings of the Heard in Hell. 7 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:13,000 Hurry up. King Jung Un is playing Santa at the mall again this year. Yay! 8 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:34,000 Two douchebags and a microphone, I'm Mark. 9 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:36,000 And I'm Rob. 10 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:44,000 Hey everybody, thanks for joining us tonight. I've got some alternative cuss words. I've got some emails. 11 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:48,000 Like, you know, we're talking about the emails. 12 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:53,000 Yeah, I'll do them here in a little bit. 13 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:58,000 Some surprising ones too, you'll see it when I get to it. 14 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:04,000 It's like, they're kind of out of left field, pretty interesting. What's on people's minds. 15 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:14,000 So, anyhow, how about if we start off with some alternative cuss words? Does that sound good? 16 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:18,000 Oh, I love those. I've got a couple I've been using. 17 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:21,000 Oh, okay, cool. Then you can introduce them. 18 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:24,000 Okay, alternative cuss words for people that may not know. 19 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:30,000 And if you don't know, then I don't know what to say because that means you have not been listening to us. 20 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:33,000 And that, quite frankly, hurts me to my soul. What about you? 21 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,000 Yes, it does. 22 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:39,000 It hurts Rob too. Do you want to hurt us? Is that it? Is that it? 23 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:45,000 Us being hurt, does that make you feel good? Is that it? Is that why you don't listen? 24 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:49,000 Well, anyhow, alternative cuss words is this. 25 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:56,000 Okay, you're in a public place, a business, a church, a school. 26 00:02:56,000 --> 00:03:01,000 But you really want to call somebody a dumb son of a bitch or a dumb motherfucker or whatever. 27 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:06,000 But you can't because of where you're in, a hospital, whatever. 28 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:11,000 So you want to get the point across that you're calling this person a dumb son of a bitch, 29 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:14,000 but you can't call him a dumb son of a bitch. 30 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,000 So you have to go to something else. Like this one guy I used to work with, 31 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:23,000 the hires up really didn't like us using profane language. 32 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:28,000 I mean, even though we didn't really work with the public per se and they couldn't really hear us, 33 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:33,000 I mean, maybe if they had their ear to the fucking door to the kitchen or whatever, you know. 34 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:38,000 But anyhow, I used to love pissing him off. I would call him a banister. 35 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,000 And he just went bad. I'm not a banister. 36 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:44,000 And then if I really want to piss him off, I call him a wooden banister. 37 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,000 And he would just fucking just freak out. 38 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:49,000 So that is what these came from. Is that right there? 39 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:54,000 Calling somebody a stupid son of a bitch, but not actually calling them a stupid son of a bitch, 40 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,000 but letting them know you're calling them a stupid son of a bitch, 41 00:03:56,000 --> 00:04:00,000 but you're not actually saying stupid son of a bitch. 42 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:08,000 Alright, so my first alternative cuss word is call someone a drainage tube. 43 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:12,000 Ooh. Yeah. 44 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:16,000 You ever see somebody that had like a port line or something from an infection 45 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:19,000 and they had to have a drainage tube put in their body? 46 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:23,000 Well, that's what you're calling somebody. A drainage tube. 47 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:29,000 And it is about as nasty, I mean really, about as gross as you can get. 48 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:33,000 Look, they serve a purpose and they're great because they help people get better. 49 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:37,000 I know that, but I mean, how would you like to be that drainage tube? 50 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:42,000 So anyhow, you call somebody a drainage tube, gets a point across, 51 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:45,000 they feel horrible, you feel great, you walk off going, 52 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:48,000 ha ha ha, I got one over on him, they don't even know what I said. 53 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,000 Drainage tube, there's nothing wrong with that. 54 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:53,000 I didn't call him a stupid son of a bitch, so yeah. 55 00:04:53,000 --> 00:05:00,000 Next one that I really like is call someone a finger splint. 56 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:06,000 You're not even a cast. Yeah, yeah, it's not quite a drainage tube, 57 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:10,000 but it's a hindrance. That's calling somebody a pain in the ass. 58 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:15,000 A drainage tube or a finger splint is calling someone a pain in the ass 59 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,000 because that's what a finger splint is. 60 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:21,000 I had to wear one not too long ago, and that's all it is, is a pain in the ass. 61 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,000 I mean, it just gets in your way on everything. 62 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:26,000 Even scratching your nuts gets in your way. 63 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:30,000 So finger splint means someone's a pain in the ass, 64 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:33,000 and I think they get it probably the way it rolls off your tongue. 65 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:37,000 You're a finger splint, you know, then when you come back with that, 66 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:42,000 I am not, then you're a dumb ass, you know, so anyhow. 67 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:49,000 Next one, call someone a cheese stick. 68 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:56,000 Yeah, yeah, that's just like, to me that's like a very low IQ human being, right? 69 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,000 It's like, you're just a cheese stick. 70 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:03,000 You're just like a piece of cheese with breading on it, preferably fried, 71 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:10,000 maybe baked, maybe air fried, dipped in ranch and eaten by Joe Consumer. 72 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:14,000 Cheese stick. Not a good thing to be called. 73 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:18,000 So that's like calling someone a sausage casing or something like that. 74 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:26,000 So next one, 20-weight motor oil. 75 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:29,000 Just, just do it. 76 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,000 Wow. 77 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:35,000 Like 28 motor oil, 20-weight motor oil. 78 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:39,000 Yeah, not good. You weren't even 10W-40. 79 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:46,000 You weren't even SAE-30. You were 20-weight motor oil. 80 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:53,000 Next one, just call someone a cabbage. 81 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:56,000 Yeah, you're a cabbage. 82 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,000 Ah, I am not. 83 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,000 Yes, you are. You're a cabbage. 84 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:05,000 Now, now go over there and lie in the sun for whatever cabbages do. 85 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:09,000 So, go be made into coleslaw. 86 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:14,000 This next one. I like it. A little weird. 87 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:18,000 Corrugated hose. 88 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:26,000 And corrugated hose has the steel wraparound slinky-like stuff for, you know, to make it stronger. 89 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:31,000 And it's just, I mean, you usually see it outdoors. Sometimes it's underground, sometimes it's not. 90 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:39,000 A lot of times they have it coming off the gutters, you know, to take all the water away from the house or whatever. 91 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:46,000 So corrugated hose, not only does it look unappealing, it sounds unappealing, and no one wants to be called it. 92 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,000 So, next one. 93 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,000 I wouldn't want to be called that. 94 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:55,000 No, no. So go corrugated hose. Ah! 95 00:07:55,000 --> 00:08:00,000 Next one, masking tape. 96 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:03,000 That's pretty solid. It's not the best, but it's solid. 97 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:09,000 It's just like, eh, you know. You can be used, like, on trim to paint. 98 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:14,000 You can be, I don't know, to hold something together. 99 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:20,000 I mean, masking tape actually is a wonderful idea, but you don't want to be called it, right? 100 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,000 Right. 101 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,000 Yeah. Yep. 102 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:30,000 Next one. I really like this one because it's just gross. 103 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:33,000 Call someone a genital wart. 104 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:36,000 Ha ha ha ha. 105 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,000 Wow. 106 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:40,000 Yeah, that one's bad. That one's real bad. 107 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:47,000 Genital wart. So you're like a little knob hanging off of someone's fucking dick or whatever, or fucking vagina or whatever. 108 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,000 A genital wart. 109 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:54,000 Down there in that area, but you're not even like a real thing. You're just like a little nub of skin. 110 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,000 A nasty little nub of skin. 111 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:59,000 Hanging off someone's genitals. 112 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,000 Not good. 113 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:04,000 Not good. 114 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:07,000 Next one. I like this one a lot too. 115 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:14,000 Just because it really illustrates a picture of the person being like, I don't know, a little pansy. 116 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:21,000 Call them blended fruit. 117 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:26,000 So you could be a pineapple, an orange, I don't know, maybe a peach, all thrown in a blender. 118 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,000 And just fucking ram sacked into smithereens. 119 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:32,000 Almost juiced, but not quite. 120 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:38,000 So you're like really soft fruit all mixed together, chopped up, and blended. 121 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:41,000 Blended fruit. 122 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:48,000 And that one's a good one to call people because it really kind of illustrates them as a pussy, right? 123 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,000 Right. 124 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:57,000 Yeah. So you'd preferably call a man that just to kind of, I don't know, demasculate him a bit if they're being a real dick or something. 125 00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:01,000 Oh yeah, you're a blended fruit. 126 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:07,000 Next one. Suction cup. 127 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:10,000 I like that one just because it's weird. 128 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:13,000 You're like a cup that sticks to things, you know? 129 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:18,000 It's just, no rhyme or reason, it's just, you know, just a suction cup. 130 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:25,000 Yeah, you're just like, I don't know, wherever, stuck on a wall, stuck on a piece of glass, whatever, lying on the floor. 131 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,000 Suction cup. 132 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:31,000 Next one. Call someone ragweed. 133 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:35,000 Ragweed sucks. Ragweed is disgusting. 134 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,000 Ragweed blows. 135 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:42,000 Ragweed makes a lot of people with itchy eyes and cough and sneeze, and they hate it. 136 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:48,000 So if you call someone, that's another one that's calling someone a pain in the ass, is calling them ragweed. 137 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:55,000 That just means they're a complete pain in the ass and, you know, it's like, oh my god, here comes that ragweed again. 138 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:58,000 So, whoever. 139 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:03,000 Next one and final one. Carry-on bag. 140 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:06,000 And that's that bag that always gets you. 141 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:12,000 It's, you know, you got the carry-on bag and then all of a sudden they come up and go, well, it's got to fit in here. 142 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:24,000 And all that stuff. And then a lot of times you got to take some of the contents out and throw it in your main luggage because it won't fit in that little compartment deal that they have at the airport to show you how small the bag's got to be. 143 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:27,000 So. 144 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,000 Yeah. 145 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:37,000 So that is the end of these said, oh no, alternative swear words or whatever. 146 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,000 Yeah. 147 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:43,000 So, anyhow, how about if we go into some emails like I promised? 148 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:46,000 I got a few of them done. I still have a lot more to go. 149 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:53,000 But what I'm doing is I'm cherry picking the last, the ones that have been there the longest and getting to them. 150 00:11:53,000 --> 00:12:03,000 And then the newer ones I'll get to. I'm going to try to keep doing this in a more timely fashion and keep printing them out and keep staying on them to where we get caught up. 151 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:09,000 I did not expect this much of a push for people. 152 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:15,000 I didn't think if people gave enough shit to write in, honestly, did you? 153 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:18,000 Not really, but I'm glad they do. 154 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:23,000 I am too. I'm really amazed. It's been an influx of quite a few people. 155 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:35,000 And it's really kind of startling to me that that made people give that much of a shit about what we say or whatever, do or act to send us in stuff, you know, good or bad or indifferent. 156 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:40,000 Be honest. This podcast has made a big difference in my life. 157 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:47,000 I've heard a lot of people say that. It keeps them chuckling. They enjoy it. They look forward to new episodes. 158 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:57,000 They go back and look to other episodes. I was told that some of the stories that I have are some of the best stories I've ever heard on or off the radio. 159 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:04,000 They said that they're just like they're they're just stuff that like that are just gold, that they're so funny and clever. 160 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:11,000 And, you know, I mean, that's just the way we grew up, man. We got bored easy. You know, we had. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 161 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:18,000 Someone let's see. What did someone say? This is an email. Very first opened up the new email. 162 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:22,000 Said the piss story was one of the funniest things they'd ever heard. 163 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:25,000 Gross. But one of the funniest things they'd ever heard. 164 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:32,000 Another one said that Babel Snatch was just insanely good. I mean, you know, that's a true story. 165 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:36,000 That is a true story. All of these are all these stories. All of them are true. 166 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:47,000 Or the phone pranks when I used to call quick trip. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, all these are legendary because we're all teenagers and people knew the stupid shit I was doing, you know. 167 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:55,000 And they are well known for for their legendary for being for being very clever pranks. 168 00:13:55,000 --> 00:14:02,000 So, yeah. Yeah. So, like I said, you were a master. Thank you. 169 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:09,000 I got bored easy. That's all it was. Serious. I got bored easy and I had to find a way to entertain myself. 170 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:14,000 So it was that's what that's what I did. That's what we did. 171 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:23,000 So, OK, now on to emails. Tony from Toulouse Street wrote now Toulouse. 172 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:30,000 That's New Orleans. I mean, I guess there could be another one. But the only Toulouse street street I know is in New Orleans. 173 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:34,000 Yeah, that's the only one that I could think of. 174 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:40,000 Well, anyhow, Tony from Toulouse Street, whether it's New Orleans or not, whatever. 175 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:47,000 I think Rob should pick one wrestling match per week to report on. Maybe the most prolific match. 176 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:56,000 Just an idea. We love the show from NOLA out. Oh, yeah. OK. Yeah. Yeah. New Orleans. No. OK. No. OK. 177 00:14:56,000 --> 00:15:03,000 OK. Cool. Well, Tony from Toulouse, I think that's the most solid idea I've heard about. 178 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:11,000 Rasslin pick one match to focus in on and in, you know, and you can do a little commentator. 179 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:16,000 What you think, what you thought happened to whoever, you know, 180 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:26,000 I've got a match with a story to it that a lot of people watch that they don't even know that. Yeah. OK. 181 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:31,000 Well, I think Tony from Toulouse Street has a great idea there. 182 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:37,000 You pick one one feature match and break that down and describe it. 183 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:44,000 And that will be your report for the week. So it sounds to me like he didn't quite say this on here. 184 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:53,000 This is just a quick email. He jotted off. Right. OK. He wants one a week, but it's one match, one feature match, 185 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:59,000 probably the best match of the night. And he wants you to break that down and talk about it. 186 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:04,000 And I want you to know he called it Rasslin. I didn't add that. He wrote Rasslin. 187 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:11,000 He didn't write Rasslin. So the guy knows what he's doing. So yeah, he does. Yeah. No. Yeah. No. 188 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:16,000 I know that. Yes. Yeah. So, Noah, I hope I hope you're spreading the word down there. 189 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:21,000 We love New Orleans and we would love to go down there and visit and do some podcasts there. 190 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:29,000 So please. I got a cousin in. Is his name Tony? No. OK. OK. 191 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:33,000 Tony, tell your friends, get more people to listen, please. 192 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:37,000 We would love to come down there. We come down there. You join us. You come down. 193 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:43,000 You'll be a first Noah listener. Yeah. So I'll take a trip down there. Yeah, me too. 194 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:47,000 Oh, yeah. I'll take a trip down there. Hot second. Oh, I love it. 195 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:51,000 I used to go there so much I haven't went there in a while, but man, I used to go there. 196 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:56,000 Shit. Every chance I got, I was down there. I love that place. So I love it, too. 197 00:16:56,000 --> 00:17:00,000 Yeah, it's very unique atmosphere, unique food, everything. 198 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:06,000 I still love the fact that they still have Romeo catchers on the top of all their buildings. 199 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:11,000 Are you familiar with what I'm talking about, Rob? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 200 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:15,000 Well, this is back in the fourteen hundreds, I believe. 201 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:20,000 And the French, they would go out to gather food and stuff during the day. 202 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:23,000 But they were naturally suspicious little fuckers. 203 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:28,000 So they didn't want anyone coming in there and banging their fucking girl while they're gone. 204 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:35,000 So what they would do is they would take broken bottles on strings and put rice and poison on them. 205 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:41,000 So if they will come in the front door and a suitor was leaving out the back door, 206 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:48,000 that they would have to go over these bottles and then they would go back there and go, bitch, you've been unfaithful. 207 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:54,000 What do you mean? What's that guy right there? Yeah. The guy lying there bleeding dead. Yeah. 208 00:17:54,000 --> 00:18:00,000 So so yeah, kind of barbaric. But all those I mean, they're still on buildings everywhere. 209 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:03,000 Nobody touched them. They left them there. I just find that shit amazing. 210 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:12,000 Yeah, I do, too. I mean, just the culture. The food, the culture, the cultures coming together for that incredible food, 211 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:17,000 the Creole and the Cajun and even the barbecue. The barbecue down there is very unique. 212 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:21,000 It doesn't get a lot of credit because it's pretty spicy. 213 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:24,000 A lot of people don't really consider it barbecue, but it is barbecue. 214 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:29,000 It's just a different brand and style of barbecue. And I mean, I love it all. 215 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:35,000 There's this place on the Mississippi River down there, just a little shack and their barbecue I would put up against anybody. 216 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:43,000 Now, I'll tell you what, you need like 10 tons and about five or six omeprazole. But that shit is good. 217 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:51,000 Oh, it's good. I will have to look up the name. So anyhow, my phone is like over there and I'm not going to get it. 218 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:57,000 So but anyhow, I could buy I'll find the name and I will broadcast it. 219 00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:02,000 But that place needs mention. It's just a little shack on the banks of Mississippi River. 220 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:07,000 And they said they've been flooded out like 10 times and they just, you know, he just built another shack. 221 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:15,000 So anyhow, it's a great place. So anyhow, Jenny in Knoxville said, Hey, Mark, what about your hairy asshole? 222 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:19,000 Maybe you need to post it. 223 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:30,000 I know. I know. All right, Jenny. Here is my rebuttal. Rebuttal. All right. Okay. All right. Okay. I'm done with that. 224 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:37,000 Jenny, I have I've never claimed great asshole hair. I just don't think I have a good crop. 225 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:46,000 I am getting a colonoscopy next week. I really am. I will ask my doctor what he thinks and I'll report back to you. Fair enough. 226 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:50,000 Good idea. All right. I'll ask him. He'll be right there. 227 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:55,000 Didn't you have a witness? Yeah. Didn't you have a witness? That's right. 228 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:59,000 Dr. Martin has done my colonoscopy before. I have full confidence in him. 229 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:08,000 And I think if I gently asked him to rate my asshole hair, I think he would. Right. Yeah. Yeah. 230 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:18,000 I mean, wouldn't you as a courtesy, I mean, if you were a colonoscopy doctor, you'd just be like, oh, by the way, I rate my asshole a five. 231 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:22,000 I think you could do better if you grew it out and combed it over or whatever. 232 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:31,000 Or, you know, maybe you need to shave it a couple of times, get it coming thicker. I would offer him a little asshole hair advice, too. 233 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:36,000 I mean, you know, just include in the price. I wouldn't charge him anymore. I would just give him that. 234 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:41,000 I would give him that because I care. So. 235 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:48,000 OK, Jenny, I will get back with you about what my what my colonoscopy doctor thinks. 236 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:57,000 So next one, William and Harrison, Knoxville, of course, I'm pretty sure was Tennessee, Jenny and Knoxville. 237 00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:03,000 I know of no. Well, no, there's a Knoxville, Iowa. I don't know which one it was like. 238 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,000 There is. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know which one it was. 239 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:15,000 But anyhow, Jenny, thank you. William and Harrison, Harrison, Arkansas, Arkansas. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 240 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:21,000 OK, I guess that's what it is. William and Harrison wrote, Thank you for the hairy asshole Olympics. 241 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:25,000 Me and my buddies are putting together a list for consideration. 242 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:32,000 We love the new segments and what happened to the old voice guy? We love him. 243 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:37,000 Chad is he's not the old voice guy. He's the current voice guy. 244 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:43,000 OK, yeah, I just wanted to bring more voices on here because quite frankly, 245 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:48,000 if you just hear one guy doing all these promos, it gets a little boring. 246 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:55,000 So I decided to do an intro with a different voice guy and do a couple of new segments with the new voice guy. 247 00:21:55,000 --> 00:22:01,000 But he's not really the new voice guy. I'll be using other people, too, just to switch things up a little bit. 248 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:05,000 But Chad is still a voice guy and I'm getting ready to use him again. 249 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:09,000 And he's not going anywhere as long as he willing to do our voiceovers. 250 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:16,000 We will use him. So and I think you said something to hit you wrong about Chad. 251 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:21,000 Yeah, yeah, I noticed that there was a new voice guy. 252 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:24,000 Yeah, that's simply just to switch things up. We love Chad. 253 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:29,000 And that's what you explained to me. Yeah, we love Chad and he's our favorite. 254 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:36,000 We're going to continue to use him. But I am going to I also have I want to get another chick's voice involved. 255 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:41,000 I want to get another deep male, maybe an English voice involved. 256 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:46,000 It's just all it is is imaging. I mean, I'm pretty sure that's what they call it. 257 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:51,000 And it's just presenting a different image anyhow. So you know what? 258 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:55,000 Yeah, Chad is still with us and he's not going anywhere. And thank you. 259 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:59,000 Thank you for your concern about him and thank you for your compliments. 260 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:06,000 So next, Laura in Osage Beach wrote now we know we're Osage Beach. 261 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:09,000 Yes, Laura. My neighbor. Yeah. 262 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:13,000 Do you know any Loro's in Osage Beach? Not Rob. 263 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:17,000 Okay. Rob is a very good addition to the show. 264 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:22,000 I hope he is permanent. I love those are twang he brings to the show. 265 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:30,000 Laura, send Rob nudes if you really love it. If you really love him, send him nudes. 266 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:34,000 Fair enough. Laura, I'm in Camdenton. That's not very far. 267 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:41,000 Right down the street. If you really love Rob, you will go down there and give him a hummer tonight. 268 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:44,000 Oh, no, let's not go there. I got to go work. Oh, no, no, no. 269 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:48,000 It's a it's a couple. This isn't going to be posted for two or three nights. 270 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:52,000 Oh, we're probably looking at Friday or Saturday night. Oh, OK. 271 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:56,000 So Laura, go take care of your boy. Come on. Come on now. Come on. 272 00:23:56,000 --> 00:24:00,000 Get the old single. If you're single, wait a minute. Wait a minute. 273 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:03,000 I'm sorry. If you're married, I'm sorry. Didn't mean to go there. 274 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:08,000 I don't mean to go overage. If you're over 18 and you're single. 275 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:12,000 Yes. Yes. All of this is contingent on all of that. 276 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:15,000 Yeah. Thank you, Rob. Thank you. 277 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:19,000 I got one for my ass. Laura, Rob is permanent. 278 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:22,000 Even if Topher comes back, he's permanent. 279 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:28,000 We've already got a plan in place. If Topher feels like coming back on a permanent basis, he's still here. 280 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:33,000 We will use all three of us because all three of us are damn good and we love hearing all three of us. 281 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:37,000 So it's all planned. Yeah, it's all good. 282 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:40,000 No reason to fret. Rob is here to stay. 283 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:44,000 The only thing it can take Rob out is himself. Where is he? 284 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:49,000 In that big room. That's right. Like Rob's penis when you come down and rub it. 285 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:54,000 If you're single and overage. 286 00:24:54,000 --> 00:25:03,000 Okay. Next. Mark, you have an amazing talent. Your quick wit steals the show. 287 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:09,000 Are you planning on learning professional computer programs for better sound? 288 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:14,000 I mean, the show is this good being, as you described, as a tin can outfit. 289 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:20,000 I could only imagine a cleaner, crisper sound. Love it. Please keep him coming. 290 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:23,000 Samantha in Overland Park. 291 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:26,000 P.S. Rob. Rob loves to. 292 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:32,000 I can vouch. Mark has always been quick witted like that. Always. 293 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:38,000 I've known him since 1985 and he can jump on stuff quicker than anybody I know. 294 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:45,000 Like I said, I go back to boredom. Boredom makes you good at stuff like this. 295 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:49,000 I used to get picked on. I was a fat poor kid. 296 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:55,000 I was a fat poor kid growing up. I had to come up with a defense mechanism. 297 00:25:55,000 --> 00:26:01,000 Yeah, you did. And that was my wit. I could outwit these brain dead morons that used to come at me. 298 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:06,000 I would just say shit that would just destroy them right in front of them and deep pants them right in front of them. 299 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:12,000 And I had to develop that because if not, these fuckers are going to try to ruin me. 300 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:19,000 And it's no kidding. They were brutal. They used to make fun of me. They used to fuck with me constantly. 301 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:23,000 And all it did was make me better at my craft. 302 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:28,000 And most of them are living in trailer parks. 303 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:33,000 Not that there's anything wrong with that, but there's wrong with being drug addicts and just like, you know, 304 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:36,000 just kind of like lying around in your feces. 305 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:40,000 So anyhow, that is one of the reasons I got so good at that. 306 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:46,000 And thank you. Thank you, Samantha. And she also said mad Rob love also. 307 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:50,000 She said P.S. mad Rob love. So she loves you too. 308 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:58,000 And thank you for the compliment because I pride myself on my quick wit and my ability to make things funny 309 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:02,000 and ability to accentuate things that need to stand out. 310 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:05,000 So thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it. 311 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:10,000 So that is all the emails that I could get to today. I didn't have enough time to get through anymore. 312 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:14,000 But we still have 20 on tap that I need to get to. I promise I'm going to keep after them. 313 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:19,000 I'm going to get them caught up. So people keep sending them in. I will get them caught up. 314 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:23,000 So thank you each and every one of you. Yeah. Thank you for taking the time. 315 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:27,000 Thank you for the suggestions. Thank you for giving a shit. 316 00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:32,000 That's what we need to know is how we're doing. 317 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,000 Yeah. We're even more to listening to. 318 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:40,000 You guys just took and framed up how we're doing in just like what five emails. Thank you. 319 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:45,000 Oh yeah. Yeah. And all that's going to do is boost us. 320 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:50,000 I'm kind of bummed though. No one from Montrose has claimed anything on this one. 321 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:54,000 I thought we had a little thing going with the Montrose people. 322 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:58,000 Yeah. Well, they both told me out. 323 00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:02,000 Yeah, I know. But I was hoping there'd be another one coming out of the woodwork for Montrose. 324 00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:07,000 But not so far. The pride of Henry County, the jewel of Henry County, Montrose. 325 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:12,000 They've got a power plant and a junkyard. They are set. They are set. 326 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:18,000 And a campground. Yeah. I can't forget that. Yes. Yep. 327 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,000 All right. Let's take us a little break and we'll come back. 328 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:26,000 And I don't know if you got anything you want to say or anything you want to point out or something. 329 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:30,000 But we'll get to that when we come back here in a minute or so. Okay. 330 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:39,000 All right. Okay. 331 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:42,000 A lot of podcasts just come from a can. 332 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:49,000 Here at Two Dish Bags and the Microphone, we pour our own podcasts. 333 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:55,000 Oh, shit. What's that over there? Oh, no. It's Island of Horrible Jokes. 334 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:57,000 Ugh. 335 00:28:57,000 --> 00:29:26,000 And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark. 336 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:32,000 Let's see here. A package of eight hot dogs. A package of ten hot dog buns. 337 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:37,000 I would have to buy ten packs of hot dogs and eight packs of buns to even it out. 338 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:42,000 Should I buy them at once? Should I freeze them? 339 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:46,000 Or just continue to zigzag them and hope for the best? 340 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:53,000 I hate adulting. 341 00:29:53,000 --> 00:30:16,000 Two Dish Bags and the Microphone, the number one show for people that lie about their favorite podcast. 342 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:20,000 Two Dish Bags and the Microphone and I am the Mark portion of it. 343 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:22,000 And I am the Rob portion. 344 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:27,000 All right, Rob, do you have anything you want to get to, anything you want to say, anything, whatever? 345 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:31,000 Yeah, I went across a fact check story. 346 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:32,000 Cool. 347 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:37,000 And this comes on Snopes. I've never heard of them. 348 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:38,000 Snopes. 349 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:39,000 Never heard of them. 350 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:43,000 Snopes has been a big fact check thing, but there's a big thing going on with Snopes. 351 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:46,000 A lot of people say they're wrong a lot. 352 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,000 So I don't know. 353 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:48,000 Oh. 354 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:49,000 This is just Rob Grant. 355 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:50,000 Yeah, I don't know. 356 00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,000 So go ahead, go ahead with it. 357 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,000 We can make up our own mind, right? 358 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:55,000 Yeah, yeah. 359 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:56,000 Well, that's what we say. 360 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:57,000 We bring it to you. 361 00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,000 You make up your own mind. 362 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:01,000 Yep. 363 00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:03,000 All right, Rob, the floor is yours. 364 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,000 Go ahead. 365 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:13,000 The claim is an online advertisement displayed in November of 2023 said that Cracker Barrel, 366 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:18,000 Old Country Store, planned to close on the oil of its locations. 367 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:21,000 I remember reading that. 368 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:24,000 Okay. 369 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:27,000 The rating says it's false. 370 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:28,000 I believe that. 371 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:37,000 In October and November 2023, hundreds of different online advertisements will display 372 00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:44,000 to users on Facebook and Instagram that each showed a photo of a Cracker Barrel, Old Country 373 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:52,000 Store restaurant location, capturing most of the ads where at closing time all the restaurant 374 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,000 chains closing. 375 00:31:54,000 --> 00:32:01,000 The ads appear to hint that Cracker Barrel would be closing some of all its locations 376 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:06,000 during bankrupt or going out of business for other reasons. 377 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:07,000 Uh-huh. 378 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:16,000 All the ads led to an article on the investing.com website, the headline of the article read 379 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:22,000 last call, these chain stores are closing locations in 2023. 380 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:23,000 Yes. 381 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:29,000 I read that article and I didn't report on it because I didn't believe it. 382 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:35,000 It was too click baitish and it was websites that I did not recognize. 383 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:36,000 Right. 384 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:41,000 Well, what they're saying is they're calling that false. 385 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:45,000 Oh, that they are closing or they're not? 386 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:47,000 No, they're saying they're not closing. 387 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:48,000 Well, okay. 388 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:56,000 I read an article about not just Cracker Barrel, Applebee's and these other places, Chili's 389 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:59,000 and stuff that are kind of like in decline. 390 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,000 Okay. 391 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:06,000 Supposedly what they think is going on is these places are putting out these erroneous 392 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:11,000 stories, getting people interested in going to their store before they supposedly shut 393 00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:12,000 down. 394 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:22,000 Well, what this article is saying is that those articles were click bait. 395 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:28,000 Yes, they were click bait because when I read that article and clicked on it, I was like, 396 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:33,000 no, I'm not going on here because it started taking me to some other unknown websites and 397 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,000 I was like, no, this wasn't supposed to be like. 398 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:36,000 Right. 399 00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:37,000 Yeah. 400 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:38,000 Yeah, I believe that. 401 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:39,000 That's exactly what they're saying. 402 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:40,000 Well, I have no idea. 403 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:41,000 So, look back and what they're saying. 404 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:46,000 Yeah, I have no idea if that's true or not, but I just read some speculation, I guess, 405 00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:54,000 is what it would be that they actually hired someone to do that, to say that they're closing, 406 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:55,000 to garner interest. 407 00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:56,000 But I don't know if I believe that. 408 00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:57,000 I think they're just trying to get people to believe that. 409 00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:58,000 I don't know if I believe that. 410 00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,000 I think it's just click bait. 411 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:00,000 I don't agree with that. 412 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,000 Oh, shit, man. 413 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:02,000 My fried chicken is going bye-bye. 414 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,000 I better fucking read this. 415 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:11,120 I mean, just like all the other stuff that, I forgot. 416 00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:12,360 There's like all these other ones. 417 00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:13,580 Oh, let's see. 418 00:34:13,580 --> 00:34:17,000 You cannot believe what they did to so-and-so. 419 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:25,560 Or check out how Andy Reid reacted to Mahomes and what he said and stuff like that. 420 00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:29,200 And then you go there and there's nothing on it about it. 421 00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:32,680 You keep scrolling down, scrolling down, thinking you're going to get to the article, but you 422 00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:33,680 don't. 423 00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:37,240 And they're getting paid every time some idiot clicks on it. 424 00:34:37,240 --> 00:34:39,320 So yeah, I can believe that. 425 00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:42,040 Rob, I think you are absolutely correct on that. 426 00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:44,800 I think that Snopes is correct on that. 427 00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:51,160 So yeah, that's what I was thinking too. 428 00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:52,160 Cool. 429 00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:54,160 All right. 430 00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:58,560 I've got a little weird little story here. 431 00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:04,880 Do you know what Feng Shu is? 432 00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:06,880 No. 433 00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:09,520 Feng Shu. 434 00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:17,160 It is an Asian philosophy and art and almost like a religion on peaceful, happy, smooth 435 00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:18,160 living. 436 00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:19,160 Oh, okay. 437 00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:20,160 Yeah, yeah. 438 00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:21,160 Now I know what you're talking about. 439 00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:22,160 Okay. 440 00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:25,000 So they put the translate into wind and water. 441 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:31,160 It's a practice that helps people align their energies with their surroundings. 442 00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:36,440 They came up with a list of bedroom do's and don'ts. 443 00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:40,080 And the reason I say this because sleep is essential to a good life. 444 00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:42,840 You got to have a good night's sleep for anything. 445 00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:45,880 No matter what job you do, where, you need a good night's sleep. 446 00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:46,880 You need to be relaxed. 447 00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:50,120 You need to be able to have some proper downtime. 448 00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:57,680 And this is our list of bedroom etiquette that will help you live the Feng Shu life 449 00:35:57,680 --> 00:35:58,680 that they're talking about. 450 00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:01,920 You know, at peace and you know, doing everything correctly. 451 00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:02,920 Okay. 452 00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:05,440 I'm going to be paying attention to this. 453 00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:06,440 It's actually very good. 454 00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:09,720 It's some stuff that I already knew and some stuff that opened my eyes a little bit. 455 00:36:09,720 --> 00:36:15,600 So arrange your bed using the principle of commanding position. 456 00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:21,280 What that means is you should have your bed located that when you are lying in bed, you 457 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:24,800 can see the door to the bedroom without being in line with it. 458 00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:29,360 Ideally, you should place your bed diagonal from the door. 459 00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:32,960 So you want it diagonal from the door, but you want it to where you can see the door. 460 00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:37,920 If someone comes through there and they have bad intentions or something, you can react, 461 00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:41,440 but not aligned with the door. 462 00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:42,800 I'm set there. 463 00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:43,800 Okay. 464 00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:45,800 And I agree with that 100%. 465 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:48,360 I sleep on the far side of the bed. 466 00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:54,680 On my old house in Cleveland, when I moved the bed, I slept much better because it was 467 00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:56,000 aligned with the front door. 468 00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:59,320 Although it was in another room, it was aligned with the front door. 469 00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:06,560 And when I moved it and put it on the other side, I slept better. 470 00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:08,560 And it had something to do along those lines. 471 00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:10,580 So I agree with them here. 472 00:37:10,580 --> 00:37:16,200 I think maybe what it is is you're kind of anxious, like someone might run through there 473 00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:18,360 and try to hurt you or something. 474 00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:22,080 So anyhow, I agree with that 100%. 475 00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:23,240 Okay. 476 00:37:23,240 --> 00:37:25,080 The less is more approach. 477 00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:31,600 Besides a comfortable bed with a feel-good linens, a solid headboard, a grounding rug 478 00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:33,520 eliminate what else you can. 479 00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:37,440 No clutter, electronics, no wayward socks. 480 00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:47,000 So this means that the baseboard or the headboard is essential and a good rug to step your feet 481 00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:48,000 on. 482 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,200 And this even means carpet. 483 00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:52,400 I looked it up a little bit further. 484 00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:58,320 They have a good rug that is good, solid traction when you get off of your bed, helps you set 485 00:37:58,320 --> 00:37:59,880 the tone for the day. 486 00:37:59,880 --> 00:38:01,880 Interesting, isn't it? 487 00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:02,880 Okay. 488 00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:06,000 Yeah, I have closet but no headboard. 489 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,000 Okay. 490 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:11,720 Well, I mean, if you believe in it that much, like I kind of like think this stuff is predominantly 491 00:38:11,720 --> 00:38:19,000 true is, I mean, for relaxation and what have you, get a headboard. 492 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:20,000 I don't know. 493 00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:24,280 I still wake up every morning feeling like crap. 494 00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:26,640 It's just your age and the work you do. 495 00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:30,440 So been there, done that. 496 00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:31,440 Okay. 497 00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:34,800 Next, no coffin position. 498 00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:37,680 Not facing the door is a coffin position. 499 00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:38,680 They say that's a no-no. 500 00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:42,960 I don't think so. 501 00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:44,920 I don't face the door. 502 00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:49,220 Avoid if possible bed under a window. 503 00:38:49,220 --> 00:38:53,240 So if you cannot have your bed under a window, they say that's ideal. 504 00:38:53,240 --> 00:38:54,240 Okay. 505 00:38:54,240 --> 00:38:58,360 I have no single window in my room. 506 00:38:58,360 --> 00:38:59,360 Okay, good. 507 00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:00,360 I'm good there too. 508 00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:01,360 Okay. 509 00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:05,640 A strong headboard represents stability and support in your life. 510 00:39:05,640 --> 00:39:09,160 So that's what they're referring to the headboard as. 511 00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:10,160 Okay. 512 00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:14,480 It helps you sleep and feel secure, I think is what they're trying to say. 513 00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:15,480 That's what I got. 514 00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:16,480 What do you think? 515 00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:17,480 Yes. 516 00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:18,480 Okay. 517 00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:21,920 Yeah, that's kind of what I got from it too. 518 00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:22,920 So okay. 519 00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:30,160 Okay, the next thing they say, declutter underneath your bed. 520 00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:35,280 Not a good idea to store an old book, letters, or legal work under your bed. 521 00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:44,480 Feng Shu states that you need open, even space for energy to flow. 522 00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:49,560 And also the other speculation when you read into Feng Shu a little bit more is a lot of 523 00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:53,160 these letters could be like old love letters or something that really might have been a 524 00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:57,000 torturous part of your life. 525 00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:07,000 And part of it goes into that these things resonate up from the paper and into you. 526 00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,860 So it's bad juju, bad whatever. 527 00:40:09,860 --> 00:40:11,520 So they say don't do that. 528 00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:16,740 Or legal papers, maybe something, a will, something like that could be the same thing 529 00:40:16,740 --> 00:40:22,160 because that dwells on people passing away and the legal part of it and all that. 530 00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:28,080 So they say leave all of that there and then you also need that energy to surround you, 531 00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:29,920 around you, and encompass you. 532 00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:34,720 And the only way to do that is to have a flow area underneath your bed that comes up over 533 00:40:34,720 --> 00:40:35,720 and around. 534 00:40:35,720 --> 00:40:36,720 Do you see what I'm saying? 535 00:40:36,720 --> 00:40:37,720 Yeah, and I'm good there too. 536 00:40:37,720 --> 00:40:38,720 Okay, cool. 537 00:40:38,720 --> 00:40:39,720 I've got this golden lab. 538 00:40:39,720 --> 00:40:40,720 I can't have nothing laying out. 539 00:40:40,720 --> 00:40:41,720 Okay. 540 00:40:41,720 --> 00:40:42,720 The next one they say, less electronics, the better. 541 00:40:42,720 --> 00:40:43,720 Try to get a better one. 542 00:40:43,720 --> 00:40:57,360 Try to rely on books and old fashioned alarm clocks, which is what I do now. 543 00:40:57,360 --> 00:41:00,920 My phone is not even in the same room a lot of times. 544 00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:04,440 I just leave it in the other room and I have a good book there. 545 00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:11,120 I always have a good book that I can delve into and also have an old fashioned alarm 546 00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:15,240 clock because I don't need the phone next to me. 547 00:41:15,240 --> 00:41:17,800 Always you wake up and all of a sudden you see like 30 messages. 548 00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:22,520 There's like, oh shit, something's going on and it's just a group text of just nothing. 549 00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:30,280 So no, I don't like to, nah, I'm with them on this. 550 00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:32,320 Crate cemetery. 551 00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:37,740 The nightstand, they don't have to match the nightstands. 552 00:41:37,740 --> 00:41:41,760 They should be in a complimentary and balanced. 553 00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:46,560 So if you have a nightstand on the right side, you have a nightstand on the left side about 554 00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:50,440 the same position in the room, same position on the bed. 555 00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:56,320 You see, they want to, like maybe your TV should be, well, they don't like TVs in a 556 00:41:56,320 --> 00:42:00,480 room, but if you have a TV in your bedroom, it should probably be lined up like that or 557 00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:03,600 the dressers, you know, stuff like that. 558 00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:06,320 So I get it. 559 00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:15,200 Feng shu colors, cool blues, pale greens is what they suggest as colors in your bedroom 560 00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:21,080 that will help you relax and sleep. 561 00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:30,760 Small pieces of color should be energy pinks, reds and whites. 562 00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:33,800 Be selective about your art. 563 00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:39,520 Try to have uplifting, happy, peaceful art. 564 00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:43,400 So I'm saying no kale oil paintings, right? 565 00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:47,800 We would have one anyway. 566 00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:52,200 Rob, you know there's a lot of sick, twisted people out there, right? 567 00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:53,920 Oh, that's true. 568 00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:56,240 There's people that actually think they love kale. 569 00:42:56,240 --> 00:43:02,120 Look, Rob, look, I hate to say this, but there's people that actually love kale. 570 00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:04,680 They think they do. 571 00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:06,680 I know, I know. 572 00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:07,960 I keep forgetting. 573 00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:08,960 I know. 574 00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:12,880 Rob, there are people that actually have been duped and they actually think that kale is 575 00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:14,960 this great thing. 576 00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:15,960 We can't save them. 577 00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:16,960 They're dullable sheep. 578 00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:19,560 There's nothing we can do about that. 579 00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:24,400 But if someone's listening to this podcast, remember no kale paintings are nothing because 580 00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:26,680 that would be horrible energy. 581 00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:34,080 You know, I mean a big fraud, a big lie, you know, a big lie in our opinions. 582 00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:35,520 Okay. 583 00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:40,560 Anyhow, just have all the current books near. 584 00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:42,560 Try to keep all the other books away. 585 00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:46,240 So the current book means the book that you're reading. 586 00:43:46,240 --> 00:43:48,440 All the other books you want somewhere else. 587 00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:52,080 So just have the book that you're delving in to go to bed with at night. 588 00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:53,500 Have that there. 589 00:43:53,500 --> 00:43:55,080 And that's it. 590 00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:58,880 No other books. 591 00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:05,080 The other things they suggest is no home gym in the bedroom. 592 00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:06,700 No work life permitted. 593 00:44:06,700 --> 00:44:08,800 No work, anything in there. 594 00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:14,240 When you go to your bedroom it should have absolutely nothing to do with work. 595 00:44:14,240 --> 00:44:16,800 If you like plants, it says have a plant. 596 00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:17,800 Nothing wrong with plants at all. 597 00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:22,280 As a matter of fact, they highly suggest that if you like plants. 598 00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:24,160 I would not suggest ragweed. 599 00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:26,720 That is not a good plant to have in your house. 600 00:44:26,720 --> 00:44:27,720 No. 601 00:44:27,720 --> 00:44:29,720 Is that safe to say? 602 00:44:29,720 --> 00:44:32,760 Yeah, that's very safe to say. 603 00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:33,760 Okay. 604 00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:40,880 Alright, well that is Feng Shu and that's what they say is essential to good rest and 605 00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:42,240 a good night's sleep. 606 00:44:42,240 --> 00:44:44,480 And I think that most of it is spot on. 607 00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:45,480 What do you think? 608 00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:46,480 Yeah, yeah. 609 00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:47,480 Alright. 610 00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:48,480 I'm in good shape. 611 00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:49,480 Cool. 612 00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:54,240 There's a couple things I could change. 613 00:44:54,240 --> 00:44:55,240 Good. 614 00:44:55,240 --> 00:44:56,240 Well me too. 615 00:44:56,240 --> 00:44:57,240 I predominantly got that nailed. 616 00:44:57,240 --> 00:45:02,720 There's a couple things I need to change up and most of it I'm already doing so I'm good 617 00:45:02,720 --> 00:45:03,720 with that. 618 00:45:03,720 --> 00:45:08,880 So let's take us another little break and we will come right back with some more interesting, 619 00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:12,920 fascinating, goofy, whatever. 620 00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:19,920 Remember to send all male body parts to us to be at the podcast for you. 621 00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:27,520 Oh Lord, that man just saw a puppy in half. 622 00:45:27,520 --> 00:45:29,600 Hey there, don't worry. 623 00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:32,560 I have a clown nose. 624 00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:37,120 Oh no! 625 00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:39,360 That drunk guy just hit my child. 626 00:45:39,360 --> 00:45:40,360 It's okay. 627 00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:41,360 I have a clown nose. 628 00:45:41,360 --> 00:45:44,360 Clown nose, just put one on and you can do anything. 629 00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:45,360 Want to run for office? 630 00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:46,360 Murder people in public? 631 00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:55,360 Just grab a clown nose and bam, everyone laughs. 632 00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:57,800 Clown noses are sold at gag stores online and pedophile conventions. 633 00:45:57,800 --> 00:46:00,800 Grab one today and make magic happen. 634 00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:03,800 Hello, this is Satan. 635 00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:08,800 You might know me from my pet name, Inflation. 636 00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:15,800 I'm here to tell you that there's no better way to relax than listening to two douchebags 637 00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:20,800 in microphone by a nice warm fire at night. 638 00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:25,800 I sit there and I reflect on all the souls I burned that day. 639 00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:26,800 Enjoy. 640 00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:49,800 And we are back, two douchebags in microphone. 641 00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:51,800 I'm the Mark part of it. 642 00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:53,800 Hey there, bro. 643 00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:54,800 Alright. 644 00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:57,800 Rob, you got anything you want to get to? 645 00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:01,800 Yeah, I got a little something here. 646 00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:02,800 Alrighty. 647 00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:05,800 Do you know what baby boxes are? 648 00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:06,800 No. 649 00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:12,800 I just learned something today when I ran across this story. 650 00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:14,800 Baby boxes. 651 00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:16,800 Can't say I do. 652 00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:23,800 Baby boxes are boxes built into the walls of buildings like fire stations. 653 00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:26,800 They can safely hold surrendered infants. 654 00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:31,800 Now, I did know that pass that law that you could surrender infants to a fire station, 655 00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:33,800 but I didn't know there were baby boxes. 656 00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:35,800 Yeah, this also goes into that. 657 00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:36,800 Okay. 658 00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:41,800 Yeah, they can't change any of that. 659 00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:47,800 Parents can open a door, place the baby inside, and an alarm will sound alerting personnel 660 00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:51,800 that a baby has been dropped off. 661 00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:59,800 In 2002, Missouri enacted the state Haven law, which allows parents to relinquish a newborn 662 00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:04,800 up to 45 days old without facing prosecution. 663 00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:05,800 Wow. 664 00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:12,800 Efforts to be dropped off at hospitals or manned fire stations. 665 00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:20,800 But state representative Jim Murphy said some parents don't want any face-to-face interaction, 666 00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:24,800 which leads to tragic consequences. 667 00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:32,800 It happened time and time again where we discover babies in alleyways or in dumpsters or so forth. 668 00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:39,800 For a woman to give up her child after birth, it got to be a traumatic decision to make. 669 00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:46,800 That's why we sponsored language that allowed the creation of baby boxes in Missouri. 670 00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:53,800 The first box was installed at the Melville, and I hope I pronounced that right. 671 00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:54,800 That's okay. 672 00:48:54,800 --> 00:49:03,800 Fire protection district station two in southern St. Louis County earlier this year. 673 00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:04,800 Okay, wow. 674 00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:08,800 She says more fire stations are showing interest in that. 675 00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:16,800 Murphy says each baby box is designed with safety in mind. 676 00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:20,800 Okay, I guess it makes sense. 677 00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:25,800 You know, people want to remain anonymous, and they want the baby to be unharmed. 678 00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:27,800 So I get it. 679 00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:28,800 Put the baby in the box. 680 00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:34,800 It'll go to the other side where there's carrying individuals that will take care of this baby. 681 00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:40,800 That's why they came up with this law, because there were spying babies everywhere. 682 00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:43,800 Yeah, they're like throwing them on the fucking lawn and stuff. 683 00:49:43,800 --> 00:49:49,800 Yeah, in dumpsters, alleyways, wherever. 684 00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:52,800 They're trying to protect them. 685 00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:54,800 I think that's a wonderful idea. 686 00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:55,800 I'm glad they do that. 687 00:49:55,800 --> 00:49:58,800 Good. 688 00:49:58,800 --> 00:49:59,800 Wow. 689 00:49:59,800 --> 00:50:01,800 Good story, Rob. 690 00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:02,800 Thank you. 691 00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:10,800 Yep, well, mine's not quite so serious. 692 00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:22,800 You know, in England, four men were charged in the theft of a satirical golden toilet titled America at Churchill's Birthplace, Winston Churchill. 693 00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:24,800 London Associated Press. 694 00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:31,800 Four men were charged Monday over the theft of an 18-karat gold toilet from Blenheim Place. 695 00:50:31,800 --> 00:50:38,800 The sprawling English Country Mansion where wartime leader Winston Churchill was born. 696 00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:48,800 The toilet, valued at 4.8 million pounds or 5.95 million in dollars, was artwork titled America. 697 00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:57,800 The Crown Prosecution Service said Monday it has authorized criminal charges against four men, 35 to 39. 698 00:50:57,800 --> 00:51:04,800 The golden toilet was fully functional and people could book a three-minute appointment to use it. 699 00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:14,800 Now, that's interesting, a golden toilet, but what I want to know is how come that golden toilet was named America? 700 00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:17,800 Does that sound kind of shitty? 701 00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:19,800 Yeah. 702 00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:24,800 Yeah, I mean, the story didn't say anything about that, but I'm kind of like saying, fuck you, England. 703 00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:27,800 Eat my dick. 704 00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:31,800 Did it say how they got it out of there without being seen? 705 00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:33,800 No, it did not go into any of that. 706 00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:42,800 It went into a bunch of other stuff that frankly didn't give a shit about, and that was the court system in England and how they were going to be tried and all this stuff. 707 00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:50,800 And the heist actually happened four years ago when they long since got the toilet back and it's been back installed and people have been using it. 708 00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:51,800 Okay, okay. 709 00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:52,800 Yeah. 710 00:51:52,800 --> 00:51:54,800 So it was kind of... 711 00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:56,800 I see what you mean there, the name of it. 712 00:51:56,800 --> 00:52:05,800 Yeah, I wasn't really worried about anything else because I could give a shit less whether someone stole a fucking golden toilet from Winston Churchill's fucking childhood home. 713 00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:13,800 I frankly don't have enough time in the day to give a shit about that, but what I do give a shit about is this right here, a golden toilet named America. 714 00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:18,800 The whole reason I brought this article up was because I think that's bullshit. 715 00:52:18,800 --> 00:52:23,800 Let's fucking find a sewer pond and name it fucking England. 716 00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:25,800 There you go. 717 00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:32,800 I mean, yeah, it's just irritating and the fact that this article made no mention of that at all kind of pissed me off. 718 00:52:32,800 --> 00:52:34,800 It was like... 719 00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:36,800 I know what they're saying. 720 00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:40,800 They're calling this trash, they're calling this sewage, they're calling this dirty. 721 00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:41,800 Yeah. 722 00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:42,800 Yeah. 723 00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:43,800 Fuck them, man. 724 00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:44,800 We have dental over here. 725 00:52:44,800 --> 00:52:45,800 They don't over there. 726 00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:46,800 Right. 727 00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:47,800 So, fuck them. 728 00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:48,800 Fuck them. 729 00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:52,800 Okay, on to something a little bit more positive. 730 00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:55,800 And by the way, we don't have very many hits in England. 731 00:52:55,800 --> 00:52:58,800 We have a couple in London, so I don't give a shit if I piss them off. 732 00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:02,800 So, okay. 733 00:53:02,800 --> 00:53:14,800 I said last podcast, which you all haven't heard yet, but when you do, you'll know that I said it last podcast, how to make homemade coffee creamers. 734 00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:21,800 This is a new rage because coffee creamers have so many things that are very questionable or flat out bad for you. 735 00:53:21,800 --> 00:53:30,800 The preservatives in them, a lot of them they consider carcinogens and cancer-causing agents. 736 00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:36,800 So, now all the rage is making your homemade coffee creamer and it's relatively easy to do. 737 00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:47,800 So, what I'm going to do is go over some of these easy recipes for you to be able to make your own coffee creamer at home if you choose to, which I'm going to start doing. 738 00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:49,800 Okay. 739 00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:53,800 Don't forget, we have an experiment. 740 00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:55,800 Yes. 741 00:53:55,800 --> 00:53:57,800 Buttered coffee. 742 00:53:57,800 --> 00:53:58,800 Buttered coffee, yes. 743 00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:00,800 This goes right along with that. 744 00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:04,800 And I was going to wait until the weekend to try the buttered coffee and so were you. 745 00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:06,800 So, probably. 746 00:54:06,800 --> 00:54:07,800 Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm doing. 747 00:54:07,800 --> 00:54:08,800 How about Sunday night's podcast. 748 00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:10,800 I just don't want you to forget about it. 749 00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:11,800 No, I'm not. 750 00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:13,800 How about Sunday night's podcast. 751 00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:15,800 Okay. 752 00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:16,800 Okay. 753 00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:19,800 So, therefore I will try it Sunday morning. 754 00:54:19,800 --> 00:54:23,800 Sunday I have an easy six hour shift, or it should be easy. 755 00:54:23,800 --> 00:54:27,800 So, I get to wake up late and leave early. 756 00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:31,800 So, that would be a good morning to try buttered coffee in my opinion. 757 00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:36,800 So, if it sucks really bad it didn't ruin an eight hour day, it only ruined a six hour day. 758 00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:38,800 So, okay. 759 00:54:38,800 --> 00:54:40,800 It all has a day off. 760 00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:43,800 Yeah, yeah, so there we go. 761 00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:46,800 French vanilla. 762 00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:50,800 One and one half cups of condensed milk. 763 00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:59,800 One cup milk of choice, almond, oat, skim, whatever you prefer is fine. 764 00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:02,800 One tablespoon of maple syrup. 765 00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:06,800 One tablespoon of arrowroot starch. 766 00:55:06,800 --> 00:55:10,800 One tablespoon of pure vanilla extract. 767 00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:14,800 And that is right there, French vanilla. 768 00:55:14,800 --> 00:55:18,800 That easy to make, those ingredients, do it. 769 00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:19,800 I said okay. 770 00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:21,800 Yeah, that's not bad. 771 00:55:21,800 --> 00:55:23,800 That's a pretty easy list of stuff to do. 772 00:55:23,800 --> 00:55:26,800 You have it made in five minutes at the most. 773 00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:30,800 Peppermint mocha, if you're in the holiday spirit. 774 00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:34,800 Again, one and a half cups condensed milk. 775 00:55:34,800 --> 00:55:39,800 One cup milk of your choice, almond, oat. 776 00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:42,800 What else is there? 777 00:55:42,800 --> 00:55:47,800 I even see macadamia nut, skim, whatever you want. 778 00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:52,800 One and one half tablespoons of unsweetened dark cocoa powder. 779 00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:56,800 One eighth teaspoon of espresso powder. 780 00:55:56,800 --> 00:55:59,800 One teaspoon of peppermint extract. 781 00:55:59,800 --> 00:56:03,800 And two teaspoons of almond extract. 782 00:56:03,800 --> 00:56:07,800 And that right there is a peppermint mocha creamer. 783 00:56:07,800 --> 00:56:12,800 That is delicious because I've had someone bring in homemade peppermint mocha before. 784 00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:15,800 And it tastes better than anything you can get off a shelf. 785 00:56:15,800 --> 00:56:20,800 In my opinion, any of the coffee mates or the international delights or anything, 786 00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:24,800 to me this stuff, or the Starbucks, to me this stuff tastes better. 787 00:56:24,800 --> 00:56:26,800 It tastes fresher. 788 00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:32,800 So, and then finally, here's how you make chocolate creamer at home. 789 00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:34,800 Easily. 790 00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:38,800 Once again, one and a half cups of condensed milk. 791 00:56:38,800 --> 00:56:44,800 One cup of milk of choice, almond, oat, whatever. 792 00:56:44,800 --> 00:56:50,800 Two tablespoons of unsweetened dark cocoa powder. 793 00:56:50,800 --> 00:56:53,800 And one half teaspoon of pure vanilla extract. 794 00:56:53,800 --> 00:56:57,800 And that is your mocha creamer. 795 00:56:57,800 --> 00:57:00,800 And all of that is that easy to make. 796 00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:04,800 And it tastes better and it's not nearly as bad for you. 797 00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:06,800 I take someone to try that one. 798 00:57:06,800 --> 00:57:07,800 Yeah. 799 00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:13,800 I mean, look, I mean, I think we all read the reports on some of the stuff that they put in as preservatives. 800 00:57:13,800 --> 00:57:19,800 And I don't know, you can make your own choice, but I think I'd rather do this. 801 00:57:19,800 --> 00:57:21,800 So. 802 00:57:21,800 --> 00:57:22,800 Yep. 803 00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:23,800 Yeah. 804 00:57:23,800 --> 00:57:26,800 So anyhow, let's see here. 805 00:57:26,800 --> 00:57:30,800 Got a couple other stories we could hit here real quick. 806 00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:32,800 I got a little tidbit to do. 807 00:57:32,800 --> 00:57:34,800 Oh yeah, yeah, go ahead, Rob. 808 00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:36,800 Yeah, it's a little fact I ran across. 809 00:57:36,800 --> 00:57:38,800 Okay. 810 00:57:38,800 --> 00:57:44,800 Upon being released in prison, David Allen Coe moved to Nashville in 1967. 811 00:57:44,800 --> 00:57:53,800 Living in his house, which he always parked outside the Mother Church of Country Music, AKA the Grand Ole Opry. 812 00:57:53,800 --> 00:57:55,800 Oh yeah. 813 00:57:55,800 --> 00:58:07,800 And when the people would attend opera shows on Friday and Saturday nights, David Allen Coe would sit on top of his house and play his guitar and people soon would notice. 814 00:58:07,800 --> 00:58:14,800 He just started out in the music business. 815 00:58:14,800 --> 00:58:16,800 So that's how he got started. 816 00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:17,800 I'll be damned. 817 00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:20,800 And they show a picture of his house. 818 00:58:20,800 --> 00:58:21,800 Really? 819 00:58:21,800 --> 00:58:24,800 Yeah. 820 00:58:24,800 --> 00:58:25,800 Wow. 821 00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:34,800 And on the back of it, he'd sit David Allen Coe on the bottom, it says support the Grand Ole Opry. 822 00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:36,800 And he wouldn't even play in there. 823 00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:38,800 He was a nobody at that time. 824 00:58:38,800 --> 00:58:42,800 Wow. 825 00:58:42,800 --> 00:58:45,800 That's a cool story right there. 826 00:58:45,800 --> 00:58:50,800 David Allen Coe, if you haven't heard him, do yourself a favor and look up some of his stuff. 827 00:58:50,800 --> 00:58:54,800 Yes. 828 00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:57,800 He's got good and bad. 829 00:58:57,800 --> 00:58:59,800 Oh, I forgot. 830 00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:02,800 You're right, he has some questionable... okay. 831 00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:04,800 You know what, forget it. 832 00:59:04,800 --> 00:59:10,800 I used to have a copy of his X-rated album. 833 00:59:10,800 --> 00:59:14,800 Oh my God, dude. 834 00:59:14,800 --> 00:59:17,800 Yeah, I know, I've heard some of it. 835 00:59:17,800 --> 00:59:23,800 Just listen to his regular music, not that one. 836 00:59:23,800 --> 00:59:25,800 Yeah, I have heard some of it. 837 00:59:25,800 --> 00:59:39,800 So, anyhow, last but not least, Florida family is left baffled after Black Bear swipes Taco Bell delivery from their front porch before coming back for the sodas. 838 00:59:39,800 --> 00:59:46,800 So not only was it... it was not just happy with the fucking food. 839 00:59:46,800 --> 00:59:50,800 $45 worth of food, but it come back and got the drinks too. 840 00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:59,800 It was a heavy-weighted snaggaphobe with a Taco Bell. 841 00:59:59,800 --> 01:00:08,800 Lady Duteraise and Daniel Bula had ordered $45 of food on Uber Eats to their home in Longwood on Friday night. 842 01:00:08,800 --> 01:00:14,800 The bear had other ideas and snagged the bag of food right after it was dropped off by a delivery woman. 843 01:00:14,800 --> 01:00:17,800 So he didn't even have time to go get it. 844 01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:25,800 So the home surveillance footage captured shows the animal grabbing the brown bag of food with its mouth and coming back soon to collect the drinks. 845 01:00:25,800 --> 01:00:29,800 And if you get a chance, look this up. It is a great video. 846 01:00:29,800 --> 01:00:34,800 You see where the bear is just kind of like, you know what, I'm going to go back and get the drinks now. I got this. 847 01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:37,800 So I got the food. Now I need the drinks. 848 01:00:37,800 --> 01:00:41,800 He's a huge bear too. A huge Black Bear. 849 01:00:41,800 --> 01:00:46,800 That's fucking awesome. 850 01:00:46,800 --> 01:00:49,800 They come out there to get the food and it's gone. 851 01:00:49,800 --> 01:00:54,800 And then they looked on the ring and they're like, oh shit, a bear got it. 852 01:00:54,800 --> 01:00:57,800 And the funny thing is, what are you going to do? 853 01:00:57,800 --> 01:01:01,800 Okay, got my food. 854 01:01:01,800 --> 01:01:05,800 There's nothing else you're going to do about it. You're not going to call up Uber and tell them they fucked up. 855 01:01:05,800 --> 01:01:09,800 You're not going to call up Taco Bell and tell them they owe you something. 856 01:01:09,800 --> 01:01:13,800 You're not going to go hunt down the bear and take your food back. 857 01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:16,800 That's just called a loss. And they took a loss on that. 858 01:01:16,800 --> 01:01:21,800 There's nothing else you can do. That's it. Right? 859 01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:23,800 Yeah. Yeah. 860 01:01:23,800 --> 01:01:28,800 Yeah. That is called just taking the loss and being good with it. That's it. 861 01:01:28,800 --> 01:01:33,800 And then like, all right, bear got it. Bear bigger than me. Bear could kill me. Bear gets my food. 862 01:01:33,800 --> 01:01:41,800 It is called law of the jungle, whatever the pecking order, all that stuff. 863 01:01:41,800 --> 01:01:44,800 So anyhow, we are getting on the hour mark. 864 01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:51,800 So Rob, do you have anything that you want to say or anything at all? 865 01:01:51,800 --> 01:02:06,800 Well, did you realize that you could take the word shit and put a different word in it and come up with so many different slang words? 866 01:02:06,800 --> 01:02:13,800 No. For instance, dog shit means very poor quality. 867 01:02:13,800 --> 01:02:15,800 Yes. Yep. 868 01:02:15,800 --> 01:02:19,800 Bullshit. Not true. 869 01:02:19,800 --> 01:02:21,800 Yep. 870 01:02:21,800 --> 01:02:26,800 Bullshit. Nonsense. 871 01:02:26,800 --> 01:02:30,800 Ape shit. Rambunctious. 872 01:02:30,800 --> 01:02:32,800 Yep. 873 01:02:32,800 --> 01:02:48,800 Bullshit. Insane. Chicken shit. Coward. Rap shit. Poor quality. No shit, obviously. Holy shit. Mind blowing. 874 01:02:48,800 --> 01:02:51,800 And there's like 14 different ones just right here. 875 01:02:51,800 --> 01:02:59,800 That is fucking, I never even thought about that, but wow. Everything goes with shit when you're describing something. 876 01:02:59,800 --> 01:03:00,800 Yep. 877 01:03:00,800 --> 01:03:02,800 Wow. 878 01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:07,800 That's 14 on this one list. 879 01:03:07,800 --> 01:03:13,800 Okay. Fucking awesome, Rob. Thank you. Another good segment. Appreciate it. 880 01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:20,800 Anyhow, we are going to go ahead and get the hell off of here, but thank you all for listening. We appreciate you guys. 881 01:03:20,800 --> 01:03:27,800 Keep sending in the emails. We enjoy them and also we get a lot out of them. We really do. 882 01:03:27,800 --> 01:03:29,800 Thank you, everybody. 883 01:03:29,800 --> 01:03:32,800 Was it Laura in Osage Beach? 884 01:03:32,800 --> 01:03:33,800 Yep. 885 01:03:33,800 --> 01:03:41,800 If you're of age and single, you know what your duty is to Rob. Yes. 886 01:03:41,800 --> 01:03:49,800 So I expect Rob to come back to me and go, man, I got the most hottest fucking chick sending me inbox stuff. Oh, it's great. 887 01:03:49,800 --> 01:03:51,800 Her name's Laura from Osage Beach. 888 01:03:51,800 --> 01:03:57,800 Honestly, Mark, after that, I ain't stuck. Awesome. 889 01:03:57,800 --> 01:04:02,800 All right. Everybody have a good night. Thank you. All of this is tongue in cheek. 890 01:04:02,800 --> 01:04:07,800 We tell you right off the bat, don't believe anything we say. Everything we say is bullshit. 891 01:04:07,800 --> 01:04:14,800 So anyhow, have a great week. We'll talk to you guys next time around. Have a good night. Thank you, Rob. 892 01:04:14,800 --> 01:04:16,800 Thank you, Mark. Good night, everybody. 893 01:04:16,800 --> 01:04:38,800 Hey, where did they go? Where are the douchebags? Oh, my God. Someone took a dump in the corner. Oh, geez. 894 01:04:38,800 --> 01:04:55,800 Glad they're gone. Let's just hope they don't come back. Man, that smells.