1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,000 Live from the historic river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri from the crystal blue waters of the Missouri River 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 It's two douchebags and a microphone podcast 3 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:26,000 Oh Lord, that man just sawed a puppy in half 4 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:30,000 Hey there, don't worry, I have a clown nose 5 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:38,000 Oh no! That drunk guy just hit my child! 6 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:42,000 It's okay, I have a clown nose 7 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:46,000 Clown nose, just put one on and you can do anything 8 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,000 Wanna run for office? Murder people in public? 9 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:53,000 Just grab a clown nose and BAM! Everyone laughs 10 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:58,000 Clown noses are sold at gag stores online and pedophile conventions. Grab one today and make magic happen 11 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:02,000 Next up, Kings Overhead in Hell 12 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:08,000 Hurry up! King Jung Un is playing Santa at the mall again this year. Yay! 13 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:11,000 King Jung Un is playing Santa at the mall again this year. Yay! 14 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:24,000 Two douchebags and a microphone, I'm Mark 15 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,000 And I'm Rob 16 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,000 Hey, thanks for joining us tonight 17 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:31,000 Anyhow, we have a dear douchebags coming up 18 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:36,000 But first I have a story here from Metal Hammer 19 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:41,000 And it's about bassist Jason Newstead in his time with Metallica 20 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,000 Oh cool 21 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:52,000 During an interview with Metal Hammer, ex Metallica bassist Jason Newstead was asked about the controversy surrounding the bass mix on Injustice for All 22 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:55,000 Which, there isn't any bass 23 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:59,000 Metallica admitted they were so pissed off at Cliff Burton dying 24 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:06,000 That they recorded the whole thing with their replacement bassist Jason Newstead 25 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:09,000 True, he's the newer one 26 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:13,000 And they admitted that they took all the bass out, they were so mad 27 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:19,000 And anyhow, Jason Newstead is not fans of them and he doesn't talk to them and he hates them pretty much 28 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:27,000 And Injustice for All, upon initially hearing the record, Newstead said, I was fucking livid, are you kidding me? 29 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:35,000 At one point during his interview, Jason Newstead has asked how he felt upon first hearing Injustice for All and how he feels about it now 30 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:39,000 In case you don't know, the bass mix on the album is nearly inaudible 31 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:42,000 Which made for some big controversy 32 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:50,000 Newstead was also asked how he feels about the fan remixes people have been making titled Injustice for Jason 33 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,000 And I've seen that 34 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:54,000 People have actually corrected the bass in it 35 00:02:54,000 --> 00:03:00,000 And called it Injustice for Jason because they did Jason so pissed poorly here 36 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:04,000 It wasn't Jason's fault that Cliff Burton died 37 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:09,000 It was a freak accident, it was in the roads at Switzerland Mountains I believe 38 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,000 And it was slick 39 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:16,000 And another story that I read and I couldn't believe it was, I think it was 40 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:24,000 Lars, no I think it was Kirk Hammett, their guitarist 41 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:29,000 Actually won a poker game 42 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:34,000 And that was going to determine who got to sleep in the bed upstairs 43 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:39,000 It was the best bed in the whole tour bus 44 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:42,000 And he decided to go in and give it to Cliff Burton 45 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:46,000 And that is what killed him, is because he fell out the back 46 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:49,000 Because it had a hatch there I guess 47 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:52,000 And the bus actually landed on him 48 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:56,000 And if that had been Kirk Hammett out there, he would have been dead 49 00:03:56,000 --> 00:04:03,000 But he was nice enough to give the bunk to Cliff Burton, saved his life, killed Cliff 50 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:08,000 And this is stuff that nobody would know, but I found that story interesting 51 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:15,000 Okay, Newstead said, I love people's enthusiasm, their determination, their love for their appreciation 52 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:21,000 If the Justice album had been mixed like a regular record, we wouldn't be talking about it to this day 53 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:26,000 But because that isn't the case, and I don't necessarily think that that's a big deal 54 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:29,000 We're still talking about it after all these years later 55 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:34,000 I don't even think they released in their drunken stupor what they were doing 56 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:37,000 Oh, realized, not released, I'm sorry 57 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:41,000 I don't think they realized in their drunken stupor what they were doing 58 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:44,000 But they made the best Garage Band album ever 59 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:49,000 Black Keys, White Stripes, Power Doer, Garage Rock stuff, whoever you want to mention 60 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:54,000 James and Lars were the original Garage Rock duo, as far as that goes 61 00:04:54,000 --> 00:05:03,000 They always made the records that way from 1983 demo to their recent stuff 62 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:08,000 But I, okay, Newstead I think is being very nice 63 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:12,000 He was not happy with them, and he'll never go back to them 64 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:17,000 Even if they asked him, because he was not happy with the way he was treated, and I get that 65 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:24,000 I don't know why he's polishing it up now, because he was pretty livid about 66 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:31,000 About injustice, them fucking all the bass up, and just making it unidentifiable bass wise 67 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:37,000 So, I guess maybe he just got on with it, and was like, you know what, who cares 68 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:44,000 I got my money, fuck him, I got, you know, he's doing other stuff and he's fine 69 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:49,000 So maybe he just decided to, well, drop it 70 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:53,000 So, not only that, but what are you going to do about it anyhow, you know 71 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:55,000 Right 72 00:05:55,000 --> 00:06:01,000 Anyhow, you got something Rob, you want to talk about, you got something on your mind 73 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:05,000 Yeah, I got a Tyree Kill story here for you 74 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:12,000 Oh, you're talking about the guy that gave the fumble that we ran into the end zone 75 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,000 That Tyree Kill? 76 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,000 Yeah 77 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:21,000 The guy that predicted gloom and doom, and how he's going to wax our ass 78 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,000 He actually lost the game for him, that guy? 79 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,000 Yeah 80 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:29,000 Oh, the mouth from the south, him, the guy that could not shut up 81 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,000 This has to do with his contract 82 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:39,000 Oh, alright Rob, well let me quit making, poking fun at Tyree Kill, and go ahead 83 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:47,000 A year and a half after his trade from the Kansas City Chiefs to the Miami Dolphins 84 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:59,000 Wide receiver Tyree Kill explained the messy contract situation that led to the trade in an interview with Brandon Marshall on I Am Athlete 85 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:06,000 After Marshall asked why he'll let Ken City, he'll said that it was complicated 86 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:11,000 This is a lot to unpack man, he'll said 87 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:19,000 To be honest, it was a situation where my agent was trying to bait Ken City into giving me a contract 88 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:22,000 The idea was to never leave 89 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:29,000 He'll told his agent, Drew Rossenhouse, that he didn't want to be traded 90 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:36,000 He'll even told the entire Chiefs team, including Patrick Holmes, and he'll head coach Andy Reed 91 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:42,000 That he was happy to take less money if it meant that he would get to stay with the Chiefs 92 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:47,000 Those early numbers, he said, were around 24-25 million 93 00:07:47,000 --> 00:08:00,000 But Rossenhouse told Hill that he deserved more guaranteed money than the Chiefs were originally willing to offer, saying that he deserved at least 70 million 94 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,000 Wow 95 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:06,000 So he listened to his agent 96 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,000 Now looked at him 97 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,000 Yeah, yeah 98 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:13,000 He's making 70 million, but 99 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:16,000 Look, I don't feel sorry for Tyree Kill at all 100 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:21,000 He can say whatever, but Rossenhouse is not the reason he left 101 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:27,000 He left because he got a big fucking attitude, and he thought he should be the highest paid receiver in the league 102 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:35,000 And he puffed out his chest, and he thought he was going to hold the Chiefs for ransom, and she said, how many draft picks are you willing to give up, Miami? 103 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:39,000 And the reason our defense is so good right now is because of that trade 104 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:42,000 Those five draft picks that we got 105 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,000 Four of them were great defensive 106 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:47,000 Were great defensive 107 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:53,000 I mean, we've gotten some, I forgot, let's see, Carl Loftus 108 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:57,000 Who's the cornerback that's so good that we got from, anyhow 109 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,000 Yeah 110 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:03,000 Yeah, we got like four starters, I mean 111 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:10,000 And good starters, and good, I mean, the reason our defense is so good is because of that trade 112 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:13,000 So, anyhow, it done us well 113 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:20,000 Now Miami's a good team, but they're not a great team, and I don't see them progressing into that great area yet 114 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:28,000 They don't have the same caliber as a Buffalo Bills, or even a Cincinnati Bengals, and definitely not a Chiefs 115 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:39,000 So, you know, I mean, yeah, they raise their profile, and they're going to be perennial 116 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:42,000 Playoff bound 117 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:46,000 You know, for the foreseeable future 118 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:52,000 They make Tagovaiola a really good quarterback, but they're missing some 119 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:59,000 I'm not sure if it's coaching or what it is, but they're missing something very key 120 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:04,000 They're not like the well-rounded team that the teams that are in the top are 121 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:11,000 You put them against like a Philadelphia, or a Bills, or a Cincinnati, or the Chiefs 122 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:14,000 And they're going to falter every time 123 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:27,000 They showed a graph about, earlier on Football Night in America, about how the Miami Dolphins are like 6-0 against teams under 500 124 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:32,000 And teams over 500, they're 0-3 125 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,000 You see what I'm getting at there? 126 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,000 Yeah, yeah 127 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:43,000 Now, they're a really good team that's always going to make the playoffs, but they don't have that 128 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,000 Well-rounded, I mean, their defense is good, but not good enough 129 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:52,000 Their offense is really good, but not good enough, because when it really counts the games on the line 130 00:10:52,000 --> 00:11:01,000 I don't see them making those big plays that you see like a Josh Allen, a Joey Burrow, or a Patrick Mahomes, or someone like that making 131 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:05,000 They're missing some ingredients 132 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:08,000 Now, they could get better in the offseason, they could stack up 133 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:15,000 And, you know, the thing is, is whenever they go against a really good team, they falter 134 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,000 And I don't expect that to change 135 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:23,000 So, but as Tyreek Hill was talking about, like, him being the victim or whatever 136 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:29,000 Is that kind of what you took, like Drew Rosenhouse just kind of took the ball and said, I'm going to do it like this? 137 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,000 Is that kind of how you took that, Rob? 138 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:36,000 Well, I, I, that's at least what Tyreek's saying 139 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:44,000 I, I don't recall that at all, because I remember Tyreek just fucking, you know, puffing his chest out 140 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:48,000 Pretty much being like, oh, that's, yeah, he thought that we would not let him go 141 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:51,000 I think he's throwing his agent under the bus 142 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:54,000 He is, Rosenhouse don't give a shit, he just got 30% 143 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,000 Trying to make excuses 144 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,000 Yeah, yeah, and I don't respect that at all 145 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:03,000 I wish he would have just said, you know what, I decided to leave 146 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:07,000 And I think we can make things happen here in Miami, and that's where I'm at now 147 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:10,000 And I choose not to talk about Kansas City 148 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:18,000 And, you know, but the thing is, is the way that he's acting and the way he's talking, the spoiled brat talk and all that 149 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:27,000 Is very unbecoming, because all it does is show how you realize that you stepped on your own dick 150 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,000 In my opinion 151 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,000 Yeah 152 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,000 Is that how you take it, Rob? 153 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,000 In my opinion, yes 154 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:40,000 Yep, okay, alright, well if two douchebags say that, you can bet on it, that's what it is 155 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:44,000 So, I've got a new neon light here, Rob 156 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,000 Oh, cool 157 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,000 In the Talk is Cheap studio 158 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:51,000 It's, please, please don't do coke in the bathroom 159 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:55,000 Straight from the 80s 160 00:12:55,000 --> 00:13:02,000 You know what, I'm gonna probably put this show tonight, so I'll probably have a picture of it or something 161 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:07,000 So, anyhow, I saw that and I was like, I need that, I need that 162 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:10,000 Bunch of the good old days of going to clubs in the 80s 163 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:14,000 Where like, you had to like be real careful opening the bathroom 164 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:18,000 Because you might smack someone in the fucking face because they're all coked out 165 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:21,000 Or you might want to, who knows 166 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:25,000 Anyhow, we'll be right back with the Dirt Douchebags, that sound good? 167 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,000 Sounds awesome 168 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:29,000 Alright, we'll be right back guys 169 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:39,000 The apocalypse just happened 170 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,000 You don't know what to do 171 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:43,000 You don't know where to go 172 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,000 But we can tell you what you can eat 173 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:49,000 On most of these apocalypse series 174 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:53,000 We tell you what plants you can eat in case of an apocalypse 175 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,000 And you have to go out to your yard for food 176 00:13:55,000 --> 00:14:00,000 Well, this one is going to explain to you the plants you may be aware of to not eat 177 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:04,000 Plants that could be toxic 178 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,000 Usually might have milky white sap 179 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:10,000 Thorns, spines, or fine hairs 180 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,000 Or leaves or stems 181 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:16,000 Pods with bulbs, beans, or seeds 182 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:20,000 Stems or trunks that have an almond scent 183 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,000 Three leaf foliage growth 184 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,000 Also be aware of 185 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:28,000 Intensely bitter or sappy flavor 186 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:32,000 Foliage reminiscent of dill, parsley, or carrot 187 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:38,000 Please remember to go to Cole's dressing room, wait five minutes, and scream 188 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:42,000 Hey, there's no toilet paper in here 189 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:49,000 Now we go to the amazing Mark the palm reader 190 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,000 Hello everybody and welcome to Mark the amazing palm reader 191 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,000 First in line, please step up 192 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,000 Let's see young lady 193 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,000 I see a long lifeline 194 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:03,000 I see success, happiness, love, fortune 195 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:08,000 I also see a bit index finger 196 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:34,000 Twenty dollars please 197 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:38,000 Two douchebags and a microphone, I'm Mark 198 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,000 And I'm Rob 199 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:45,000 Alright, well as mentioned, dear douchebags coming right up 200 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:49,000 Dear douchebags, we have an interesting problem 201 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,000 And need a little help figuring this out 202 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:57,000 We love Halloween and love to treat all the little ghosts and ghouls 203 00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:03,000 But we are adults and like to partake in the costume parties on all Hallows Eve 204 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:09,000 We are forced to leave the candy in a large bucket with a sign that says please take one 205 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:16,000 The problem is, the little terror down the road, every year he comes up and takes the whole bowl 206 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,000 We don't know what to do 207 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:21,000 Douchebags, please help us 208 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:27,000 Thank you for any help with this, signed NoSweet in St. Pete 209 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,000 Another great name 210 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:32,000 Great name, and we got some good answers 211 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:37,000 Yes we do, and let's go ahead and do the disclaimer Rob, what's the disclaimer? 212 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:44,000 If you want to live a happy life, do the opposite of what we tell you to, right? 213 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,000 Total opposite 214 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:49,000 We are getting this out of the way right now 215 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,000 If you listen to us, you're probably not the sanest person 216 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:55,000 If you take our advice, it's probably going to ruin you 217 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:59,000 But people still ask us and we still answer, right? 218 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,000 Yes 219 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:06,000 There is a need and we are there to fill it because we care 220 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:11,000 Rest assured people, we have some horrible advice for this person 221 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:15,000 Dear NoSweet in St. Pete 222 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:21,000 Number one, hire teenagers you have en masse and when the little asshole has completed his candy rounds 223 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:27,000 Take his candy and re-give it to friends and children 224 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:30,000 Hell yeah, I'm all about that 225 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:33,000 And while you're there, smack the little fucker in the head a couple of times too 226 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,000 Smack him around a little bit, shake him up 227 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:40,000 Take him and put him upside down in a tree and shake him, fucking deep-pants him 228 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:45,000 Whatever you got to do, but make sure that you're underage too if you deep-pants him, okay? 229 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:48,000 Don't be 18 and deep-pants him because that's a whole different deal 230 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,000 You don't want to be in on that deal 231 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,000 Yeah, no you don't 232 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:57,000 Yeah, if you're under 18, go in and deep-pants him and then make him run around the block without any pants 233 00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:01,000 Just to embarrass him and let him know that he can't be stealing candy 234 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:05,000 And you might even give him a couple of swats too, right? 235 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,000 Yeah 236 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,000 Well, he's bare-assed 237 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,000 I know 238 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,000 Yeah, why not? 239 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,000 He'll get the point 240 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:17,000 He'll get the point not to be around here stealing people's fucking candy, right? 241 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:24,000 You get a couple of bare-ass macks and that'll cure your candy stealing days really quick 242 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:29,000 So, number two, Carolina Reaper up the whole bowl 243 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:33,000 He might grab the treats, but he will be burning the rest of the night 244 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,000 His eyes, mouth, face, whatever 245 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:39,000 He touches his little fucking ding-ding, that'll burn too 246 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,000 And that was my suggestion 247 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,000 Yes, I think that is a great idea, Rob 248 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:51,000 Just sprinkle the piss out of Carolina Reaper dust all over those fuckers 249 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:55,000 And you know the little fucker's gonna see you leave, he's just down the road waiting 250 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:59,000 He's hiding in the brush and then he's gonna fucking run out and grab your bowl 251 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:03,000 And he's gonna have a big old fucking party with it for a couple of minutes 252 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,000 And then he's not 253 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,000 Guaranteed not to happen next year 254 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:11,000 Yes, yes, guaranteed he will leave you the fuck alone 255 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:20,000 So, number three, explain to the other children on the block that the only operate-by-appointments 256 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,000 Then you will go about the candy 257 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,000 Which is a great idea 258 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:30,000 Say, alright, Jones' kids coming over at 723 259 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:35,000 The Willsons' kids coming over at 725 260 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:41,000 That little guy down the street, what's his name, Patrick or whatever 261 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,000 He's gonna be right after those two 262 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:50,000 And then, you know what, do it earlier than when you go to these costume parties 263 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:53,000 Have appointments for all the kids that you give a shit about 264 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:56,000 And then just lock the whole thing up and go 265 00:19:56,000 --> 00:20:01,000 Either that or take a shit in one of those Halloween bowls and just leave it there 266 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,000 There you go 267 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:07,000 I think that's sound advice, just take a shit in one of the bowls and leave it there for him 268 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:13,000 Maybe he'll grab the thing not looking and then he'll get home with a bowl of shit 269 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:18,000 Actually, that might be a little safer than the Carolina Reaper 270 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:23,000 Rob, don't go back on it now 271 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,000 That was your suggestion 272 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,000 Alright, okay, alright 273 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,000 I love the suggestion 274 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:33,000 Look, we already told everybody, you take our advice 275 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,000 You're gonna fuck your life up, okay 276 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,000 So that's all we're required to do there, Rob, is let them know 277 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:42,000 You've listened to us and it's probably not the smartest thing 278 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:45,000 So, anyhow 279 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:51,000 Number four and finally, buy candy corn and Easter peeps 280 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:55,000 You don't worry about anyone stealing that fucking god-awful candy 281 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:59,000 Just hope you don't get your house egged or tepee'd 282 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,000 Right 283 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,000 Agreed? 284 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:07,000 Candy corn and Easter peeps are the two worst candy in the whole world 285 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:10,000 And they're so bad they shouldn't be called candy 286 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:15,000 They should be called like horrible fucking pieces of fucking jism or something 287 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,000 Yeah 288 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,000 Yeah, they're horrible 289 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:22,000 And anybody that likes them is not to be trusted 290 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:26,000 You need to check their hard drive because there's something really wrong with them 291 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,000 If they actually like that 292 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,000 So, anyhow 293 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:35,000 Alright, Rob, you got something? 294 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,000 Yeah, I do 295 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,000 It's what we're talking about, Halloween 296 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,000 Alright 297 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:44,000 Well, hang on, hang on, you want to hear my Halloween joke? 298 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,000 Sure, why not? 299 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,000 Boo 300 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:50,000 That's it 301 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,000 Didn't say it was funny 302 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,000 Alright 303 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:57,000 Okay, alright, next 304 00:21:57,000 --> 00:22:06,000 Travis, Kelsey and Taylor Swift were initially reported as not being at Kelsey's home on Halloween to give out candy 305 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:12,000 But one neighborhood mom is sure that the power couple is lying 306 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:20,000 Speaking to the New York Post, an unnamed mom who lives in the same neighborhood 307 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:30,000 As Kelsey said that despite there being tape around the house to ward off entry 308 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:36,000 And even a security guard would tell people that no one was home, it was clear that they were 309 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:41,000 They simply didn't want to give out candy 310 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:45,000 They're not handing out candy 311 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,000 Do you believe that? One mom said 312 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:53,000 Well, we know they're lying 313 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,000 Swiftie is there 314 00:22:55,000 --> 00:23:05,000 Another mom was frustrated that they wouldn't simply answer the door for trick or treaters 315 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:09,000 So they still don't know if they were there or not 316 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:13,000 They're kind of nitpicking in my opinion 317 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:16,000 There's a lot of people that just don't want to do it 318 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:22,000 They don't feel like, you know, there's still COVID going on 319 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:25,000 You know, Kelsey has to play a game every weekend 320 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:28,000 He's got to be in peak physical shape 321 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,000 She has a huge tour 322 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:33,000 Maybe they don't want to be at risk of all these germs 323 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,000 Maybe that's all it is 324 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,000 Or it could be this 325 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:42,000 Travis Kelsey had said on his New Heights podcast last week 326 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:48,000 That he might be doing a Halloween dinner party with friends and or family 327 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:56,000 Whether or not they wound up doing that either at home or somewhere else is unknown 328 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:59,000 Well, I mean, I really look at this as nitpicking 329 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:03,000 And anyone that did this is just like, give it a break 330 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:06,000 You know what? Let them be a happy couple or whatever 331 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:09,000 Let it pan out however it's going to 332 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,000 And who cares? Geez 333 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,000 Way too much attention 334 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:14,000 Let them live their lives 335 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:19,000 Way too much attention on someone's girlfriend or whatever 336 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:22,000 Or whatever, or what they did on Halloween or not 337 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:26,000 I just don't like that at all 338 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:30,000 They're into the paparazzi 339 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:33,000 But then there's too much 340 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:36,000 You know, you've got to have some personal time too 341 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:39,000 Yes, yeah, I agree 342 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,000 And yeah, I know people put themselves out there 343 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,000 I know Kelsey does a lot of commercials 344 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:49,000 I know that Taylor sells a lot of albums 345 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,000 Got a movie out now 346 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:54,000 She's just like number one with a bullet everywhere 347 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:59,000 So I know that to have that you've got to give up a certain amount of freedom 348 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:02,000 But there's also a side to this 349 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:08,000 You know, you don't have to go that far and above 350 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:09,000 What would you call it? 351 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:15,000 Interfering or intervening in their life or cross-examining their life or whatever you want to call it 352 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:18,000 So anyhow 353 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:21,000 Well, you know what, Rob, I'm glad you brought that story up 354 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:26,000 Because that shows you the mentality of a lot of America 355 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:29,000 Yeah, yeah, it does 356 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:32,000 Yeah, so 357 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:35,000 Anyhow 358 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:40,000 You know Gen Xers are a generation, right? 359 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:41,000 Yeah, yeah 360 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:45,000 We're the first generation that is kind of like 361 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:50,000 Millennials and Zs have different 362 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:51,000 What would you call them? 363 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:54,000 Different benefits from work, what they value 364 00:25:54,000 --> 00:26:03,000 Well, Gen X is the first generation to start valuing other benefits besides health, dental, vision, all that stuff, right? 365 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,000 Right 366 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:12,000 Okay, midlife workers want menopause support, elder care assistance, health screenings, and more 367 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:17,000 Increasingly they're getting it and their employers are benefiting too 368 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,000 Gen X are at a crossroads in their personal lives 369 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:23,000 Wedged between baby boomers and millennials 370 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:27,000 This generation is in the sandwich phase of life 371 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:30,000 Their larger responsible for caring for their age and parents 372 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:40,000 While providing for their school-aged children all while managing their own lives, careers, and health 373 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:44,000 If organizations are eager to hold on to the Gen X workers 374 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,000 Roughly defined as those born 375 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:50,000 We know what this is, but I'm going to go over it again just in case someone doesn't know 376 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:56,000 Gen X is roughly defined as those born between 1965 and 1980 377 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,000 They need to respond to these challenges 378 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:07,000 That's why an increasing number of companies across the globe are rolling out benefits that address specific midlife health and lifestyle concerns 379 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:17,000 And in a tight labor market, employers who offer customized perks stand out by signaling a level of support that's increasingly sought after in the day's workplace 380 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:26,000 And benefits when that old place, let me go 381 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:31,000 And I was like, you know what, that's cool 382 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,000 I'll find something else to do 383 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,000 I don't want to go back into the same field 384 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:37,000 I've done that too long 385 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,000 Didn't want to do it anymore 386 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:43,000 One of the first things I looked at before money 387 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,000 Now I get paid very well, don't get me wrong 388 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,000 No complaints with the pay that I get or anything 389 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:50,000 But the first thing I looked at was benefits 390 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,000 That was the first thing 391 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:57,000 And that would be health care, dental care 392 00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:02,000 But also time off, paid time off 393 00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:13,000 But the other thing was how they treat certain parts of your life 394 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:19,000 Like let's say that I have to be with my mom more 395 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:23,000 This place is very flexible on everything like that after reading their policies 396 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:26,000 And I'm not going to go into where I work 397 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,000 That's just too personal 398 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:32,000 I'd like to keep this as mark the dick joke guy 399 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:33,000 And that's it 400 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,000 So people know me a lot 401 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,000 People know me at Listless Podcasts 402 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,000 They know where I work 403 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:38,000 No big deal 404 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:45,000 But I was looking for alternate benefits that suited me 405 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:48,000 Before when I was younger, I looked for all money 406 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,000 I was like, oh, well, this is a dollar more an hour 407 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,000 So I'm going to go to there 408 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:56,000 Now it's like, I don't care if this place is paying two bucks more an hour 409 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:59,000 This place is going to let me have this much time off 410 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:01,000 I can accumulate this time off 411 00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:04,000 I get this much time off after this 412 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:09,000 But the main thing was is they were so flexible on everything 413 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:13,000 Because I see a lot of stuff coming up in my life where I'm going to need that flexibility 414 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:19,000 So for once in my life, that took precedent over the amount of money I was bringing in 415 00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:24,000 But like I said, I get paid very well anyhow, so I don't care 416 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:29,000 But also, I wasn't struggling to begin with 417 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:30,000 I was doing fine 418 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:34,000 But it was the first time in my life I realized that, you know what? 419 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:38,000 I've completed that sector in my life where I'm going for all the money 420 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:41,000 Now I'm looking for the alternative benefits 421 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:44,000 So I understand where these people are coming from 422 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:48,000 And I am a Gen Xer because I was born in 66 423 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:56,000 That's why an increasing number of companies across the globe are rolling out benefits that address specific midlife health and lifestyle concerns 424 00:29:56,000 --> 00:30:03,000 Cloud Software Company Salesforce recently launched an elder care benefit for employees supporting older family members 425 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:11,000 As well as cancer related programming and early detection targeted to the 50s plus demographic 426 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:19,000 Software company Adobe offers services to help employees manage the university admissions process for their kids 427 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:21,000 That's a great one 428 00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:27,000 As well as access to backup elder care and in-home care consultations 429 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:33,000 Menopause support is also emerging as many global companies, both big and small 430 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:39,000 The benefits of providing these services go beyond economics as Peter Bomberger 431 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:43,000 Bomberger, Bombar, Bomberger, Bamberger 432 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:47,000 Geez, you know what? Sometimes I cannot fucking write 433 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:49,000 I should be a doctor the way I write 434 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:54,000 A professor at the Kuller School of Management at Tel Aviv University 435 00:30:54,000 --> 00:31:02,000 And the president-elect of the Academy of Management were talking about services that potentially impact one's child 436 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:07,000 Children and one's parents' organizations are not only providing financial assistance 437 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:10,000 They're building a strong emotional connection 438 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,000 They're showing that they care, which I agree with 439 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,000 If you see all of these said perks 440 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:19,000 Don't you feel like the company gives a shit about your well-being and your family? 441 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,000 Yeah, yeah 442 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:25,000 Employers aren't offering these new benefits out of pure 443 00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:28,000 You know, just to do it 444 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:31,000 They're doing it because they want to prove a point 445 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:36,000 They want to prove that they're the company that stands out 446 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,000 That cares about what you need 447 00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:41,000 And they're the company that's addressing what you need 448 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:45,000 And so I think that's great 449 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,000 Adobe sounds like they're doing a great job 450 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:51,000 The place that I work for does a great job on that 451 00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,000 I know other ones too 452 00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:54,000 But I know this 453 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,000 A lot of people that were in my shoes 454 00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:59,000 That had some piece of crap company let them go 455 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,000 You know, greedy, all that stuff 456 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:04,000 Like I got into before, I don't need to now 457 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:07,000 But anyhow 458 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:12,000 They, I know other people in the same situation 459 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,000 And they're doing the same thing 460 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:15,000 They're like, you know what? 461 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,000 Money's great 462 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:21,000 But I really want to look for these benefits this time around 463 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:24,000 And I know a guy that was let go after me 464 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:28,000 That is actually part of that whole family over there 465 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:32,000 And he felt the same way when I saw him 466 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,000 I saw him at Price Chopper 467 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:37,000 He felt like maybe it's time to get some better benefits 468 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:41,000 So anyhow, I need to give him a call and see how he's doing 469 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:44,000 I know he wasn't real happy with those fucking jokers over there 470 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,000 Kind of like I wasn't either 471 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:51,000 So anyhow, let's take a slow break 472 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:52,000 And we'll be right back 473 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:54,000 And I got a McDonald's story 474 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,000 Does that sound okay? 475 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:57,000 Sounds good 476 00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:58,000 McDonald's it is 477 00:32:58,000 --> 00:32:59,000 We'll be right back 478 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:07,000 And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark 479 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:13,000 Let's see 480 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,000 If a worm could talk 481 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,000 Would it be argumentive? 482 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:21,000 I may never know 483 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:30,000 Somewhere in the heavens your great Grammy Gertrude is crying 484 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:33,000 Because her little Bebo is listening to this film 485 00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:39,000 This is a voice guide from your favorite podcast 486 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,000 Two Douchebags and a Microphone 487 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:45,000 People often ask us how they can find us when doing a remote broadcast 488 00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:47,000 One, smell 489 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,000 Go to the city market and start sniffing 490 00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:53,000 Our aroma has been described as a mixture of flea powder for goats 491 00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:57,000 Tabasco sauce and old sock with dark fuzzy urine 492 00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:01,000 Two, look for the spot absent of patrons 493 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:06,000 Three, the most telling sign is a crowd of patrons vomiting uncontrollably 494 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:12,000 Four, just call us at 816-512-7717 495 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:16,000 Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper 496 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:19,000 It's strange insults from an alien 497 00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,000 Real hilarity 498 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:24,000 Wait, your chair produces sound similar to a fart 499 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:28,000 But only once, such that it cannot reproduce and prove that it was just the chair 500 00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:31,000 Break shit house energy drink 501 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:34,000 That's right, break shit house energy drink 502 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,000 Make men and women girl 503 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,000 Chomp your balls 504 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,000 You want to fuck shit up? 505 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,000 Run a full scum across America? 506 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,000 Break shit house is for you 507 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:47,000 Please enjoy break shit house energy drink responsibly 508 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:49,000 It's not readily available anywhere 509 00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:51,000 Because of liability issues 510 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,000 Hello, this is Satan 511 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:59,000 You might know me from my pet name 512 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,000 Inflation 513 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:06,000 I'm here to tell you that there's no better way to relax than 514 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:09,000 Listening to two douche bags and microphone 515 00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:12,000 By a nice warm fire at night 516 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:17,000 I sit there and reflect on all the souls I burned that day 517 00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:43,000 Enjoy 518 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,000 Two douche bags and a microphone 519 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,000 I'm Mark 520 00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:53,000 And I'm Rob 521 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:55,000 Alright, well 522 00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:58,000 Got a McDonald's story like I said Rob, you ready for it? 523 00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:00,000 Yeah, I'm ready 524 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:07,000 Okay, McDonald's is offering free fries with every order on Fridays for the rest of 2023 525 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:12,000 Customers will be able to get a free medium fries on a medium purchase 526 00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:17,000 A minimum purchase of a dollar at participating outlets in the United States till the end of the year 527 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,000 That's a pretty good deal 528 00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,000 Yeah, that is 529 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:24,000 All you gotta do is spend a buck and you get free fries 530 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,000 So let's say you buy a small drink for a buck 531 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:29,000 You get fries and a drink for a dollar 532 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:32,000 I don't care where you're at, that's pretty good 533 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:33,000 Yeah 534 00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:37,000 So, anyhow, the offer will be limited to one time per month 535 00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:44,000 Yeah, so, anyhow, the offer will be limited to one time usage per customer on each Friday 536 00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:49,000 In order to avail this offer 537 00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:52,000 It is pertinent to be enrolled in the McDonald's Rewards Program 538 00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:54,000 There's the catch 539 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:59,000 Okay, so you can get relentlessly spammed about specials at McDonald's 540 00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:01,000 Only 10 Fridays are remaining this year 541 00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:04,000 So here's how you can get the free fries for your next order 542 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:10,000 That's download the app, then go to their rewards program 543 00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:13,000 You go to their rewards program 544 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:18,000 So, suddenly it sounds like a great deal to some I don't want to be a part of 545 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:24,000 Number one, I don't know how many Fridays I'm actually going to make it there to get the fries 546 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:27,000 Number two, you got to put up with relentless spamming 547 00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:29,000 Because that's what they do 548 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:34,000 They get this, you got to have an email, a working email to get the app 549 00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:39,000 You get the working email in there and then all of a sudden they're sending you shit constantly 550 00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:44,000 My opinion, my opinion, but you want free fries, you can do that 551 00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:49,000 Go start an email account and then just shut the son of a bitch off afterwards, who cares? 552 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:52,000 Get your free fries and give them the fucking finger 553 00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:55,000 Take a picture of your nutsack, send it to them, who cares? 554 00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:57,000 Right? 555 00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:58,000 Yep 556 00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:03,000 Alright, or you can at least smack in the balls on them 557 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:04,000 Yeah? 558 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:05,000 Yeah 559 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:06,000 Good 560 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,000 Smacking the balls works great 561 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:13,000 Matter of fact, we have 30 each to give away, so people step up, you want to smack in the balls, let us know 562 00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:15,000 We have plenty of them 563 00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:20,000 We have plenty of smack in the balls for anybody that's interested in getting to smack in the balls 564 00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:23,000 Because we care 565 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:27,000 No, no, no, don't mention it, don't mention it, don't mention it 566 00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:29,000 It's our love for you 567 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:30,000 That's all it is 568 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:31,000 You're welcome everybody 569 00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,000 Yes, yes 570 00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:38,000 Rob, can we give a virtual hug to everybody out there in Podcastland? 571 00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:39,000 I'm there 572 00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:40,000 Me too, okay 573 00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:41,000 I'm there 574 00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,000 Okay everybody, come on, come on, a little closer 575 00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:46,000 Oh no, no, no, come on 576 00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:48,000 Come on, look, we don't smell bad 577 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:54,000 We both use Old Spice, even on our nutsack, so come on, a little closer, a little closer 578 00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:55,000 Man, Rob 579 00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:56,000 A little closer 580 00:38:56,000 --> 00:39:00,000 Rob, what are you using on your hair? That smells great 581 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,000 Pandene 582 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:03,000 Oh, okay, cool 583 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:07,000 Man, dude, your hair's soft too 584 00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:09,000 Well, anyhow, here we go 585 00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:18,000 Come on, come on, a little bit tired, come on, you can do that, come on 586 00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:22,000 Hey, hey, was that you or somebody else? 587 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,000 It wasn't me 588 00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:28,000 Okay, well, whoever did that, thanks, that was kind of cool 589 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:32,000 All right, CNN 590 00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:42,000 The off-duty Alaska Airlines pilot accused of attempting to dis- I just went ahead and just went in a completely different way, I'm sorry 591 00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:43,000 Good 592 00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:52,000 So anyhow, accused of attempting to disable a plane's engine mid-flight told investigators he believed he was dreaming he had taken magic mushrooms 593 00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:58,000 48 hours before the incident, according to state court records obtained by CNN 594 00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:09,000 Joseph D. Emerson, 44, attempted to cut fuel to the plane's engines while the flight was en route from Washington State to San Francisco on Sunday, authorities say 595 00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:16,000 The quick actions of the aircraft's captain and first officer kept the engines from failing completely, the airline said 596 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:25,000 Emerson told investigators he had consumed magic mushrooms approximately 48 hours prior to the incident on the plane 597 00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:33,000 An affidavit filed by prosecutors states he also said he had been awake for the last 40 hours, according to a separate federal court document 598 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:45,000 Emerson told police he thought he was dreaming and believed pulling the handles of a fire extinguishing system, which cuts fuels to the aircraft's engines 599 00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:49,000 would cause him to wake up, state court documents 600 00:40:49,000 --> 00:41:02,000 Emerson was riding in the cockpit in a jump seat as is permitted for off-duty pilots and a confrontation began when he reached for the fire controls, according to the documents 601 00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:14,000 As Emerson reached for the controls, one of the pilots grabbed Emerson's wrist and the other pilot reported that they wrestled with Emerson for a few seconds before Emerson stopped and said he was okay 602 00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:24,000 The documents state, adding, Emerson was not able to pull the handles all the way down before the pilots intervened 603 00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:30,000 Emerson had experienced depression of the recent death of a friend, the documents say 604 00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:37,000 He said he was having a nervous breakdown and told the flight crew he needed to be subdued, according to a separate federal criminal complaint 605 00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:46,000 It's highly unlikely that the hallucinogenic, sometimes called magic mushrooms, would still be in the pilot system 48 hours after use 606 00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:56,000 But it's possible he could have been feeling the lingering effects of the drug, said Matt Johnson, a Johns Hopkins professor who studied psychedelics and other drugs 607 00:41:56,000 --> 00:42:09,000 Johnson linked the like in the mushrooms to drinking alcohol, it should have worn off way before then, but who knows, this guy has some mental illness obviously 608 00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:22,000 He did not pull it all the way down, it's my understanding if he pulled that all the way down, it's a 50-50 shot on whether they got that plane stabilized or not, and it very easily could have crashed and burned 609 00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:33,000 Yeah, so thank God that they caught the guy before he was able to slam it all the way down 610 00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:40,000 Because from what I understand, from what I read, once they slam that fire equipment down, all bets are off 611 00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:47,000 That it's like 50-50 whether you can stabilize the plane once it starts spiraling like that 612 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:52,000 So anyhow, Rob, you got any stories you want to get to? 613 00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:55,000 Yeah, I do, I do 614 00:42:55,000 --> 00:43:01,000 Unfortunately I do not have an American songwriter list for you tonight 615 00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:07,000 Alright, so let's take a little hiatus, it'll be back, just like the hairy asshole Olympics will be back too 616 00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:20,000 But I do have a movieweb.com, the 10 best parody movies from the 1980s, in their opinion 617 00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,000 Rob, bravo, go ahead 618 00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:24,000 Wow, okay 619 00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:31,000 And honestly I'm glad I started going over this because I found a side note 620 00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:33,000 Okay 621 00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:36,000 That I think you're even going to be interested in 622 00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:42,000 Okay 623 00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:47,000 Okay, number 10, this is Spinal Tap 624 00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:49,000 Yes 625 00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:53,000 Here is the side note I just read 626 00:43:53,000 --> 00:44:00,000 Finally some good news for Spinal Tap, the band is getting back together 627 00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:11,000 Equals to, this is Spinal Tap starring the original cast, will debut on March 19, 2044 628 00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:17,000 In conjunction with the film's 40th anniversary 629 00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,000 Cool 630 00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:22,000 Yeah, so they're coming out with a part two 631 00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:25,000 That's going to be awesome, I'll be there 632 00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:31,000 Yeah, like I said, I'm glad I was browsing through it real quick just now 633 00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:33,000 Cool 634 00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:37,000 Okay, number nine, Spaceball 635 00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:40,000 Another great one, can't argue with that 636 00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:42,000 1987 637 00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:45,000 Awesome 638 00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:49,000 Number eight, Airplane 639 00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:50,000 Cool 640 00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:52,000 1980 641 00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:56,000 Man, that was great, Leslie Nilsson was a fucking genius, wasn't he? 642 00:44:56,000 --> 00:45:00,000 Yep, yes he was 643 00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:04,000 Number seven, Airplane 2, the sequel 644 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:07,000 1982 645 00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:09,000 Two years later 646 00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:12,000 Okay 647 00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:16,000 See back there, they can come out with sequels in two years 648 00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:17,000 Oh wow 649 00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:22,000 What's up with some of these other movies, man? 650 00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:26,000 Number six, The Meaning of Life 651 00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:30,000 1983 652 00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,000 Okay 653 00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:35,000 Number five, UHS 654 00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:37,000 Another good one 655 00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:40,000 Man, this list is really good so far 656 00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,000 Yeah it is, yeah it is 657 00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:46,000 Number four, Teen Wolf, 1985 658 00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:51,000 Number three, Three Amigos 659 00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:56,000 Steve Martin, Chevy Chase 660 00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:59,000 Who's the other one? 661 00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:00,000 Martin Short 662 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:03,000 Yeah, yep, very cool 663 00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:09,000 And this one I actually had forgotten about 664 00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:13,000 Number two, Johnny Dangerously 665 00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:16,000 Oh wow 666 00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:17,000 1984 667 00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:21,000 Three Johnny Dangerously was the shirts, I remember that 668 00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:24,000 Yeah, that was a great one, man that was 669 00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:25,000 Yeah 670 00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:27,000 Who was Johnny Dangerously? 671 00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:28,000 Forgot 672 00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:29,000 Michael Keaton 673 00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:33,000 Michael Keaton, thank you, wow 674 00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:36,000 Cool 675 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:39,000 And finally, number one 676 00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:40,000 Yep 677 00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:44,000 Of course, Throw Mama from the Train 678 00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:47,000 1987 679 00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:51,000 Yeah, wasn't that Steve Martin 680 00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:52,000 John Candy 681 00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:55,000 John Candy 682 00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:58,000 Gosh, yeah that was another, that was a classic 683 00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:00,000 That was a lot of different 684 00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:03,000 Yeah, because they traveled city to city so 685 00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:06,000 There was a lot of different actors show up 686 00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:09,000 There was, that was, yeah that was a great one 687 00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:10,000 Man, cool 688 00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:11,000 Yes it was 689 00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:15,000 That list, I couldn't argue with anything on there actually 690 00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:17,000 No, I couldn't, I couldn't either 691 00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:20,000 Cool 692 00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:25,000 I got a new segment here that I want to go into 693 00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:26,000 Alright 694 00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:29,000 It's called oddities and I got this off the internet 695 00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:33,000 Because it's like odd little facts that just happened 696 00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:35,000 Okay, one 697 00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:40,000 NASA spacecraft discovers tiny moon around asteroid 698 00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:43,000 During a close flyby of this asteroid 699 00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:48,000 It came near the earth, it wasn't big enough to knock us off our axis or anything like that 700 00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:53,000 But what it was, well they noticed a tiny moon around it 701 00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:55,000 I mean this is a good sized one 702 00:47:55,000 --> 00:48:00,000 But it was creating enough gravity itself for a moon to orbit it 703 00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:03,000 Isn't that neat? 704 00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:05,000 Yeah, it is, that is neat 705 00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:08,000 Yeah, and I hope people are like 706 00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:14,000 I mean I'm not like the biggest science buff but it does fascinate me and stuff like that 707 00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:17,000 I find very interesting so I hope other people do too 708 00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:20,000 I just thought that was very interesting 709 00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:25,000 Another little oddity fact is security prevents the Texas Rangers 710 00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:29,000 From celebrating a chase field pool after winning the World Series 711 00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:32,000 They have a pool there at chase field, right? 712 00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:36,000 And the players were going to go jump in it and drink champagne and stuff 713 00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:42,000 And security would not let them, they said it's too big of a health hazard 714 00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:46,000 And I'm like what the fuck, they just won the World Series, let them 715 00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:50,000 Let them jump in the fucking pool, who cares? 716 00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:53,000 Yeah, I thought that was kind of shitty 717 00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:56,000 And I know they're going to go, oh I got a job to do 718 00:48:56,000 --> 00:49:00,000 But they're grown adults, they can jump in this fucking pool 719 00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:03,000 It's not like the pool was like 20 feet deep and huge 720 00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:08,000 It's a small pool that like people that paid to be in that area at chase field 721 00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:12,000 You know, it's like a luxury lounge area 722 00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:15,000 And it has a pool there, it's really cool 723 00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:20,000 And people can sit in the pool and watch the game or be outside of it or whatever 724 00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:30,000 You know, some people just, you know, they get in their fucking shorts and jump in it, you know 725 00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:34,000 So I don't understand what the big deal is 726 00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:40,000 And then lastly, a lunch host is accused of killing her ex-husband's parents 727 00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:46,000 An aunt with poisonous mushrooms that she put in the food 728 00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:50,000 That's diabolical as hell, isn't it? 729 00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:51,000 Yeah 730 00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:54,000 Yeah, poison mushrooms 731 00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:57,000 It's not a good death either, in case you're wondering 732 00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:00,000 Horrible death, very painful 733 00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:04,000 Anyhow, this person did that, put it in these people's lunches 734 00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:12,000 She put them in her ex-husband's parents' food and his aunt 735 00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:16,000 And killed every one of them, not a good deal 736 00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:20,000 So I've got another story here if you... 737 00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:23,000 Have you ever wondered what happened to the Sobe drink? 738 00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:27,000 Remember Sobe? S-O-B-E 739 00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:30,000 Okay, I can get them down here 740 00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:32,000 Oh, you can? 741 00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:37,000 Yeah, there's a damn station right up the street from me that has them 742 00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:40,000 We can't find them for nothing up here, they just disappeared 743 00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:43,000 They're getting hard to find 744 00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:48,000 Okay, well the question is, where has Sobe drinks gone? 745 00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:55,000 If you're like dozens of Twitter users who have been flooding the platform seeking answers for this looming question 746 00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:58,000 Rest assured, as we have some answers for you 747 00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:03,000 Sobe drinks, once a popular beverage brand that carried multiple fruitful flavors 748 00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:07,000 Seems to have completely disappeared from the market 749 00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:14,000 So, if you've been on the hunt for a Sobe drink, you may still be able to find one if you're lucky 750 00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:18,000 The brand, which was founded in 1995 and is owned by PepsiCo 751 00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:22,000 Still has a functional website that features its current line of beverages 752 00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:28,000 Sobe, Elixir, though they can't be purchased directly from the site 753 00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:33,000 But if you're adamant about finding Sobe drinks, there still may be a way 754 00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:38,000 Keep reading to where you can find Sobe drinks 755 00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:42,000 So, anyhow, it has all these different places 756 00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:47,000 But the thing is, it looks like they have not said it 757 00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:53,000 But, okay, the officials of PepsiCo, which was owned by Sobe 758 00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:59,000 It looks like they're going to take it away completely, but they haven't actually committed to that yet 759 00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:03,000 Officials of PepsiCo, which has owned the Sobe brand since 2000 760 00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:08,000 Suggested to drink fans to check out the product locator on its website 761 00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:13,000 Although the brand hasn't been discontinued altogether, local availability can vary 762 00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:18,000 We're working diligently to keep products readily available for our customers 763 00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:23,000 Please consider using home delivery or grocery pickup options through your local stores if available 764 00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:29,000 Many of our products are also available in e-commerce if you prefer to order online 765 00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:32,000 The Sobe website states all of this 766 00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:40,000 But it's interesting how PepsiCo won't just say, hey, we're taking it away 767 00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:48,000 Instead they have this locator, but there's not that many places on it, you know 768 00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:54,000 It's like they're taking it away and then giving you a few places where you can get it 769 00:52:54,000 --> 00:53:00,000 So it kind of sounds to me like it's going bye-bye, but they're just not committing to it yet 770 00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:02,000 Wouldn't you say? 771 00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:04,000 Yeah 772 00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:15,000 So, anyhow, trying to think of what else 773 00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:22,000 There's a blind dog rescued up in New York from the Frigid Pond, which is very cool 774 00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:25,000 If you get a chance, look it up on the internet, it is very cool 775 00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:30,000 People went out there and they got the blind dog out of there and the dog is fine, which is excellent 776 00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:38,000 Because I think animals are awesome and most people are dicks, so not most people 777 00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:43,000 There's a lot of dicks out there, but I don't think anyone that listens to us is a dick 778 00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:45,000 Do you? 779 00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:48,000 No, never 780 00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:50,000 Never 781 00:53:50,000 --> 00:54:00,000 Alright, so an opossum, which is a possum, only if it's North American, they're called opossums technically 782 00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:06,000 But they're possums, we call them possums, but they're an opossum 783 00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:11,000 And then South America, I think it is, or Australia, has a possum 784 00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:16,000 So what it is over here is we got it mixed up and we call the opossums possums 785 00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:18,000 Makes sense? 786 00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:19,000 Yeah 787 00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:23,000 Okay, I think you already knew that, I think we talked about that before actually 788 00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:26,000 Okay, an opossum runs out on 789 00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:29,000 That may be where I know, yeah that might be it 790 00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:35,000 I think we did talk about it, so anyhow, opossum runs out onto the field during the Texas Tech football game 791 00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:41,000 It was pretty cool, because they had a hell of a time getting it out of there 792 00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:48,000 But anyhow, he took him a little jog around the field and it was funny 793 00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:54,000 So a Florida home has been targeted by bears ten times 794 00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:58,000 And they can't figure out what is attracting the bears to the home 795 00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:06,000 In Connecticut, alignment helps rescue kittens from a high voltage area 796 00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:14,000 Which is very fucking cool, because alignment has one of the most dangerous jobs ever 797 00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:20,000 The life expectancy of alignment is like ten years younger than any other person 798 00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:23,000 And the reason is because a lot of them get electrocuted 799 00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:25,000 They actually have to be 800 00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:26,000 Oh go ahead 801 00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:30,000 My dad worked for Kansas City Town Light 802 00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:34,000 He was an alignment, but I knew a lot of them 803 00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:39,000 And I have a friend of mine that is in alignment 804 00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:41,000 Okay, then you know 805 00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:45,000 Yeah, they actually have to become a part of this electrical system 806 00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:47,000 And they have to do it in such a way 807 00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:51,000 If they do anything wrong, they're fried 808 00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:55,000 It's a high paying job, a high stress job 809 00:55:55,000 --> 00:56:00,000 People doing this always have to worry about actually just being fried to death doing their job 810 00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:06,000 So anyhow, this lineman got up there and he saved him 811 00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:10,000 So you know what? That's awesome, good for you 812 00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:17,000 It did not mention the name of the guy or anything like that, but thank you whoever did that 813 00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:26,000 Alright, an Uber driver buys a $110,000 lottery ticket while filling up his tank 814 00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:28,000 He's still going to Uber though 815 00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:33,000 He said the 110 would probably be a good down payment on a house 816 00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:35,000 So good for him 817 00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:39,000 A Georgia man has 186 pounds sweet potato 818 00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:43,000 It might be a record, they're not for sure yet, they're checking in on it 819 00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:48,000 So let's hope he gets the record 820 00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:54,000 A reported kangaroo on the Lewis and Baltimore was actually a red fox 821 00:56:54,000 --> 00:57:00,000 I love that one 822 00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:04,000 There's a damn kangaroo out there 823 00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:05,000 What? 824 00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:08,000 What the hell is a kangaroo doing over there? 825 00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:12,000 Oh wait, forget it, I'm a red fox, I'm sorry 826 00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:16,000 What a bunch of derps 827 00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:24,000 Look at that fucking kangaroo, it looks just like a red fox 828 00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:39,000 A Florida man was issued a citation when sheriff's deputies determined his truck labeled booty patrol too closely resembled a border patrol vehicle 829 00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:52,000 His truck is green and white and it says booty patrol on the back quarter panels and the tailgate 830 00:57:52,000 --> 00:58:05,000 And it does resemble a border patrol truck, only his is booty patrol and he's getting fined for it, I say dude that's awesome 831 00:58:05,000 --> 00:58:10,000 Yeah, yeah 832 00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:13,000 Leave him a speech 833 00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:17,000 Yeah, yeah that's what I see too 834 00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:19,000 Yeah, leave him a speech 835 00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:27,000 Yeah, leave the guy alone man, he's got his booty patrol going on, leave him the fuck alone man, he's got booties to catch right? 836 00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:29,000 Yeah 837 00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:32,000 Gosh man, leave the guy alone 838 00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:40,000 A neighborhood bear in Florida ate all the kids candy 839 00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:46,000 They had a display out there, they were like going to a party or something or had other engagements 840 00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:53,000 And they left the candy out there in a big bowl and a bear just went over there and grabbed every bit of it and ate 841 00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:59,000 And guess what, nobody tried to stop him 842 00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:03,000 Wow 843 00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:07,000 I wonder if he ate the wrappers too 844 00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:09,000 Why not? 845 00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:12,000 Who knows, he's a bear, he'll just shit them out right? 846 00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:14,000 You know what I mean? 847 00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:18,000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright, well good for that bear 848 00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:25,000 And finally, but not least, an Ontario man's 8 foot zucchini might be the longest in the world 849 00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:30,000 And they are checking on that right now, whether that guy gets a world record or not 850 00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:37,000 And Rob, we turn to you, you have any final thoughts or any story you want to get to? 851 00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:39,000 I got a final thought 852 00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:45,000 Alright, let's hear it Rob 853 00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:55,000 The Raiders are now paying John Gruden and Josh McDaniels $80 million to not coach their team 854 00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:59,000 Bravo 855 00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:02,000 That's awesome, I love that 856 01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:05,000 Yeah, that's unreal 857 01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:09,000 Well how long until Tom Brady has like a minor ownership in that? 858 01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:15,000 How long until Tom Brady starts getting his fingers dirty in there? 859 01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:18,000 I'm almost expecting him to 860 01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:23,000 Well I mean it kind of surprised me, you know they went and got Jimmy Garoppolo, that's Tom Brady's boy 861 01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:26,000 You know they both played up in New England 862 01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:27,000 Yeah 863 01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:33,000 And you know, and then they benched him, which he needed benched, he was playing horribly 864 01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:37,000 But it kind of surprised me that they benched him that quick 865 01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:43,000 So I don't know, I mean it doesn't look to me like Brady's getting his hands that dirty right now 866 01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:45,000 But I'll bet you it's coming 867 01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:51,000 You know he's probably doing some stuff right now he probably always wanted to do because he couldn't because he's playing football 868 01:00:51,000 --> 01:00:57,000 But I'll bet you when all that's over, when the smoke clears and he starts going into broadcasting next year 869 01:00:57,000 --> 01:01:02,000 That he might start getting hands on with that Raiders team 870 01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:04,000 Yeah, that's what I was thinking 871 01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:05,000 God knows 872 01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:08,000 Let's wait and see what happens next year 873 01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:12,000 Yeah, God knows they're not doing it themselves, they're not figuring it out themselves 874 01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:15,000 So they're going to need some of his guidance I'm pretty sure 875 01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:20,000 That's a lot of money to pay coaches that are even there 876 01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:24,000 Like I said that's fine with me, it's not like I like the Raiders, I think that's awesome 877 01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:26,000 Right, right, right, right 878 01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:30,000 That shows you what kind of competition we have 879 01:01:30,000 --> 01:01:38,000 Yeah, well, yeah, and another thing is, you know, Tom Brady, I mean I don't think if he can, I don't think he can sit back and accept a loser 880 01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:41,000 I mean that's just not him 881 01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:43,000 No, no 882 01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:50,000 Yeah, I think he'll soon, I know he's only got a minor stake in it but I'm pretty sure he's going to start throwing some stuff around going 883 01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:54,000 Hey guys, you're going to start getting me involved and you're going to start doing what I say a little bit more 884 01:01:54,000 --> 01:01:58,000 Or you're going to listen to me or we're going to get this guy, we're going to, you know 885 01:01:58,000 --> 01:02:02,000 So anyhow, it's going to be getting interesting I'm saying 886 01:02:02,000 --> 01:02:06,000 So anyhow, thank you everybody for listening tonight 887 01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:12,000 We appreciate you guys like we always do, we thank you for listening 888 01:02:12,000 --> 01:02:19,000 Anyhow, I'm talking to a couple of places at the City Market that want me to start pimping some of their stuff 889 01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:21,000 And I'm going to 890 01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:25,000 And also, well you'll meet them when you come up to visit 891 01:02:25,000 --> 01:02:26,000 Yeah 892 01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:28,000 Yeah, so 893 01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:35,000 It's going to be last week of December, first week of January 894 01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:39,000 I'm going to be on vacation for a couple weeks so 895 01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:42,000 When they come up, we're going to knock out some episodes 896 01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:45,000 Sounds good, sounds good 897 01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:50,000 Alright, well we shall figure all that out at a later time 898 01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:51,000 Yeah 899 01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:53,000 And let me see here, I'll just 900 01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:57,000 Let me get the exact dates together 901 01:02:57,000 --> 01:03:01,000 Okay, I'm trying to see if there's any places that are particularly popping right now 902 01:03:01,000 --> 01:03:08,000 That's going off the chain that need to be mentioned 903 01:03:08,000 --> 01:03:10,000 Harrisonville, Missouri 904 01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:13,000 Is still just insane 905 01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:16,000 The amount of people that are listening to us there 906 01:03:16,000 --> 01:03:18,000 Columbus, Ohio 907 01:03:18,000 --> 01:03:22,000 We have a large amount of listeners there 908 01:03:22,000 --> 01:03:26,000 Let's see 909 01:03:26,000 --> 01:03:28,000 Those are like the big up and comer 910 01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:32,000 St. Louis actually is growing quite a bit too 911 01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:37,000 And then a lot of areas around St. Louis that aren't called St. Louis 912 01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:39,000 Right, yeah, a lot of the suburbs 913 01:03:39,000 --> 01:03:44,000 Yeah, a lot of the suburbs, so thank you St. Louis, thank you Harrisonville, actually thank you everybody 914 01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:48,000 Denver's still nice and solid 915 01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:49,000 Ashburn 916 01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:52,000 Council Bluffs 917 01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:56,000 Council Bluffs, we've got like a lot of people listening there, thank you guys 918 01:03:56,000 --> 01:03:59,000 Yeah, I see that one's jumping up there too 919 01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:02,000 Yeah, yeah, and of course Kansas City 920 01:04:02,000 --> 01:04:08,000 We're all over Kansas City, we got high on the Kansas City, Kansas and Missouri side 921 01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:11,000 Belgium is a big one 922 01:04:11,000 --> 01:04:12,000 Yeah 923 01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:14,000 That's awesome 924 01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:19,000 San Francisco's jumped up, but we know why 925 01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:21,000 San Francisco's jumped up quite a bit 926 01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:25,000 There's been a lot of places that have jumped up here recently 927 01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:29,000 Thank you guys, we appreciate you, we see you, we hear you 928 01:04:29,000 --> 01:04:34,000 Send us an email if you're from one of these places and tell us what you like about the show 929 01:04:34,000 --> 01:04:36,000 Or specifically how you listen to this show 930 01:04:36,000 --> 01:04:42,000 Do you listen to us with, you know, like on a speaker and a bunch of people 931 01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:45,000 Listen to us while driving, do you got your headset on while at work 932 01:04:45,000 --> 01:04:50,000 What do you do? We're interested in this, we want to know how you get our content 933 01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:53,000 We would like to know how you receive our show 934 01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:58,000 And who all is involved with that, do other people, is it a shop, you know, all that 935 01:04:58,000 --> 01:05:03,000 So this will help us, our analytics on that will help us get better 936 01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:11,000 So that's why we asked this of you, I've got a bunch of emails to get to that I plan on getting to on the next podcast 937 01:05:11,000 --> 01:05:15,000 So anyhow, thank you everybody for listening, have a fantastic night 938 01:05:15,000 --> 01:05:19,000 Thank you everybody, good night 939 01:05:31,000 --> 01:05:34,000 Hey, where'd everybody go? Where are the douchebags? 940 01:05:34,000 --> 01:05:38,000 Oh my god, someone took a dump in the corner 941 01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:43,000 Oh jeez, ugh, I'm glad they're gone, let's just hope they don't come back 942 01:05:43,000 --> 01:06:09,000 Man, that smells