Live from the historic river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the crystal blue waters of the Missouri River, it's two douchebags and a microphone podcast.
The apocalypse just happened. You don't know what to do. You don't know where to go. But we can tell you what you can eat.
Dandelion can be stewed with wild mustard and garlic for a very tasty stew. You could even introduce our old friend the hickory nut for a bit of smoky flavor.
A lot of podcasts just come from a can. Here at Two Douchebags and a Microphone, we pour our own podcasts.
Two Douchebags and a Microphone, I'm Mark. And I'm Rob.
Rob, you have some stuff that you want to get to and we'll get to it here in a little bit. You said that you have an industry in particular you want to rattle their cage a little bit. We will do that a little bit later on.
Yeah, I'm giving up a habit because of something that I've done.
Okay, sounds good. Alright. Well, let's start off with something a little bit lighthearted then. You want to do that?
Yeah, that's it.
Okay, you know Doritos has got a new silent software. It's the world's first noise canceling technology compatible with all types of PCs to support co-op gaming.
New research indicates that the sound of snacking frustrates gamers across the globe, particularly Doritos. People eat Doritos and they game and it distracts the other gamers and hurts their game.
So they've been fielding a lot of complaints about this, so Doritos have come up with an answer. And that is this new app that they invented that cancels the crunch noises so people can game better. Sound interesting?
Yeah, yeah, because I could save a lot of people a lot of money, but go ahead.
Me too, but anyhow. So new research indicates that the sound of snacking frustrates gamers across the globe. The brand new software can be downloaded for free by heading to doritos.co.uk backslash silent.
That's doritos.co.uk backslash silent, or you can just Google it and it'll give you the website right there when you Google it. So, estimated 70% of gamers eat chips of some sort.
Over 30% say the noise is distracting and impacts their performance. Doritos claims to have a large presence in the gaming world. They say that they're the biggest presence of snacks in the gaming world.
I don't know how they got this statistic or whatever, but anyhow they say that they are the biggest industry of snacking in the gaming industry and that's why they're doing something about this with this crunch canceling app.
So, anyhow, so you know Jeffy X, he heard about this right? You know our buddy Jeffy X?
I can't forget him. He's my best friend man. I know, I know. You're knitting him some stuff. He's my number two best friend.
Yes, you're knitting him some stuff and I'm sending him a couple of hookers. So, yeah, Jeffy X is going to be set up good.
Yeah, he'll be set up good for this Christmas.
Well, Jeffy X has uncovered other silencing software that has failed.
Oh, okay.
He is everywhere dude. Jeffy X, I don't know how you do it, but he got into the Doritos factory this time. I mean he left Massive Hill.
We may have to think about giving him a raise.
I know, I know. I mean we could raise his pay for nothing to, I don't know, a buck. That's a hundred percent raise increase.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean he's going above and beyond. That's a hundred percent raise increase. Who the hell gets a hundred percent raise increase?
Nobody. Except Jeffy X. Jeffy X, your dollar is in the mail.
So, number one, this is software that has failed. This is noise canceling software that has failed.
Number one, the sound of millennials whining about adulting. Turns out Xers and Boomers enjoy the whining.
So, if they don't...
I'd try to get a kick out of this.
Yeah, me too. Me too. So, therefore, when the youngsters are whining about having to, I don't know, go across town to pick up something or, I don't know, go to work or go cash or check or whatever or go buy groceries.
Evidently, Xers and Boomers enjoy that. So, that failed. It flopped. I mean they were doing that, you know, they were doing noise canceling app so we could walk around and not hear them whining.
Turns out they didn't need it. So, number two, the sound of overzealous Bluetooth guy.
Turns out people need the warning that someone is going to cut them off in the grocery store line.
Make sense?
Yeah.
You know, overzealous Bluetooth guy that like looks at the ceiling and talks as loud as he can.
You know the motherfucker is going to cut you off sooner or later and then act like you're the asshole.
Well, it turns out that people don't want the noise canceling software because they want to know where the idiot is at so they don't accidentally run into it.
You know what I do?
That's why I only put in one earphone.
Ah! Me, I put in both and hope for the best.
No, I, well, I, well, like at the stores I go to I know pretty much everybody that works there.
So, and everybody is going to want to talk to me so I turn my music down and only have one earphone in.
Okay. Me, I flip them off and tell them to leave me the fuck alone.
Say look, during working hours, don't bother me.
I live in a small town.
Oh, okay, okay. Well, then maybe you shouldn't do that.
And honestly I don't do that anyhow.
Number three, Joe Buck, Tony Romo, and Troy Aikman canceling software are on back order due to extremely high demand.
So, that did go through. It's the noise canceling for Joe Buck, Tony Romo, and Troy Aikman.
And Chris Collins works here.
Did it go through?
Yeah, it went through but they can't get it. They sold so many of them and they can't build them but so fast.
So, it's on back order so good luck getting that.
Damn, I have two years of listening to that.
Yeah, I know. Wouldn't it be great to turn on ABC or ESPN and not hear their fucking annoying voices because you have the app.
So, anyhow.
Number four, Neighbors Dog canceling software didn't hit.
Turns out turning up the music has the same effect and that's what everybody does.
Man, Jeffy X, he really did an excellent job. Didn't he do an exceptional job here?
Yes, he did.
He just dug in and he really got to the meat of this shit here. He's something else.
So, next one, the politician noise canceling software hit a snag because it would take up too much battery power to shut the blabbering fools down so it's not feasible.
Okay, I can see that.
Yeah, yeah, they blabber so much that every time they came at it with something it just really, you know, it just, it drained the whole computer.
It drained everything.
It would be like driving an electric car.
Yes, yes. Yeah.
Yeah, so that didn't happen. And then finally, number six, two douchebags and microphone has a mute button so the noise canceling software wasn't needed anymore.
Who the hell put that in there?
I don't know. It wasn't Jeffy X. He's just reporting it.
Oh, I know that.
Jeffy X loves us. I don't know. Somewhere, someone doesn't.
Even they know about us.
I know. I know. I was kind of, I don't know what we could call it, I don't know, kind of warmed up that they even mentioned us.
I was like, wow, glad to know we're getting under their skin.
Yeah, this is the first time we've heard from them.
Yeah, I know.
So, I have some emails here, Rob.
Oh, awesome.
Yeah, remember I promised some of these emails.
I hope. I hope.
Depends on how you look at it, Rob.
So I only had a chance to write down like eight or nine of them.
But I'll have more.
Stooey in New Hampshire wrote,
Rasslin is cool but the segment shouldn't go on too long like other shows do.
I would think five minutes should be enough. Thank you. Great podcast. I listen to every show and tell my friends as well.
Okay.
So he's for Rasslin, but he says it should only last five minutes.
Can I answer that?
Yeah, sure.
Well, my plan was I was going to treat it like one of our news stories.
I was just going to throw in a little old news story about Rasslin.
There you go, Jeff. Not Jeff, Stooey.
I was going to sit here for the whole podcast and talk about Rasslin.
Well, this is only one person. This is just Stooey and he's for Rasslin.
So I get what he's saying. I get what he's saying though.
He's like condensed. Thank you, Stooey.
Yeah, I think it's a really good suggestion.
And he took initiative and he's in New Hampshire telling people about us. So thank you, Stooey.
Yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, it is.
So next one. No effing way. Rasslin is fake.
Don't dare clog up my funding with that garbage.
Seth in College Station, Texas.
Now we know who's listening in College Station.
Yeah, I know. He's at one dot we have down there, dude.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, Seth, thank you. Well taken.
I just checked RSS.com this morning.
That's who's listening to us down there. Thank you.
Dude, dude, you are right. Our percentage is amazing.
Yeah, I know. I mean, it's going off the chain right now. It's fantastic.
Like I said, let us be your morning show. You listen to us and then go to your music.
All that other garbage, that canned bullshit they have on the radio isn't worth the shit and we all know this.
They can't be real. They can't say what they really think. They can't cuss. It's just warmed up garbage.
All the real stuff has had to leave the regular radio platform to do anything inventive or initiative or even get paid.
So here we are.
Next one. NFL is the only sport I want to hear about.
Rasslin I can just go watch on demand anyway. Clem and Austin.
Okay.
Next one. I think it's cool that we're getting all this stuff about wrestling. I really do.
I'm glad people are answering.
It's bringing interest. I can tell you that. Whether they love it or hate it, they want to talk about it.
So we're two to one right now.
Two to one. Next one. Rasslin is cool. Love to hear results, dudes. Thanks. Love the show. Mike and Montrose.
Mike and Montrose.
I thought we only had one listener in Montrose. Oh no, the other guy. The other guy didn't live in Montrose.
Yeah, he admitted he wasn't there.
Jerry does not live in Montrose.
Yeah, once he told me about the act picture and I came up with it, he failed.
So I think Mike in Montrose might have sent this out as a rebuttal like he's the listener in Montrose and not.
I don't know. Because it actually came in the mail probably about ten days ago before we even broadcast the Jerry one.
Thank you Mike. You just tied it up for me. Yeah, there we go.
Okay, next one. I think Rasslin should be a once a month segment like Ask Padlin. It's cool but not enough to hear every week.
The Dodson Family, Point Place, Arkansas. Never heard of Point Place, Arkansas. Have you?
Yeah, I have.
Okay, well, anyhow. Okay, the Dodson Family says they want to hear it but once a month.
Okay. All right.
Okay, next one. Say no to Rob's ass hair. Mark and Casey. And no, it's not me. I did not. That's not me.
I guess it's another Mark or someone just making fun and just using my name.
Next one. We do not need Rob to prove anything ass hair wise. No one else had to. Wayne and Stone County.
Stone County. Is Stone County southern Missouri?
Oh, oh. Stone County.
Oh, do you know him?
Down around Reeg Spring.
Oh, that is Stone County. Yeah, you're right.
I moved here twenty years ago from Stone County.
Do you know this guy maybe?
No, I don't. I don't believe I do.
Okay.
I've been down there for like a year. But, thank you. Thank you.
Yeah, thank you, Wayne.
Okay, I would love for Rob to post a pic of his ass hair. Bridget and Boston.
Okay.
All right.
That's a possibility, Bridget. It's a definite possibility. We're still lurking and mulling over stuff. So, we'll figure it out.
Yeah, we're trying to figure out if it's legal to send it over the internet.
Well, here's the next one. Say no to Rob's ass hair. This is the last one. Say no to Rob's ass hair.
Dude, we believe you. No Moss. Jen and Tupelo.
And that is all of the ones that I had a minute to put in. Those were the oldest ones that I had to get to before, you know.
Right, right, right.
So, there's a bunch more that I got to filter through and take the good ones out and then the other ones that are just about something else, you know.
So, um.
And thank you again, each and every one of you.
For taking the time to.
Yes.
Yeah, it was very nice that you guys take the time to, um, to email us and give us suggestions or even stuff about the show.
Because that helps us. The stuff that you're interested in and want to talk about is the stuff we want to talk about.
Yeah, I mean, I knew it.
I've got about 20 more emails I've got to sift through. So, hopefully, Saturday I will have more of them.
And then maybe Sunday I can finish them up and be caught up.
That's fine. Yeah, that's fine. I knew we were getting up there.
Yeah, I mean, I had to just start taking them out there because, I mean, you know, I was so busy, you know, everything that I got going on.
And now I got a good friend.
Yes, I know everything you got going on.
You know, valve surgery and then I have a really good friend in intensive care right now.
Oh, I did not know that.
Yeah, I went to go see her today and anyhow, so just a lot of stuff going on. So, anyhow.
Um, why don't we take a little break and when we come back, you have something you want to bitch about, I think, right?
Yeah, I'm tired of bitching.
Okay, you're going to do something.
This is something that needs to be addressed because I'm not the only one that sees it.
Okay, all right. Well, we'll be right back.
It's a customer's complaint.
Okay, we'll be right back and we're going to field Rob's complaint and go into some other stuff. So, we'll be right back.
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.
The other day, my vacuum became clogged. I had to open up my vacuum and unclog it.
So, essentially, I was cleaning my vacuum, which was a vacuum cleaner, but I became the vacuum cleaner.
Mind blown.
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.
Man, I sure wish I was the garbage man. You know what I could do if I was the garbage man?
I could go to the wrong parts of town on the wrong days periodically in the morning and then watch everybody run out of their house in their underwear with two bags of trash screaming, stop, halt.
Yeah, that's what I'd love to do.
All across America, Brick Shit House is for you.
Please enjoy Brick Shit House energy drink responsibly. It's not readily available anywhere because of liability issues.
And I figured, you know what? I'm going to try Grizzly because, you know, Grizzly's my go-to when I'm like a buck and a half short, whatever.
Yeah, I know. It's a little bit cheaper. It's not quite as good, but it's good enough.
Right, right, right. And I'm thinking, okay, hopefully it was just school. I didn't know, but I was stuck in my pocket, come back to the house, and then son went to work. I get to work, I open this can, and it looked like fine trash.
So all of these places are doing this now? They're not really giving you a lot of cash?
I got to talking this morning, I got to talking to the cashier, and he told me, he said, good luck. I've been hearing a lot of guys talk about this. How their long cut is like half of what it used to be.
You're not talking about how much is in the can, you're talking about the cut, the grinds.
Yeah, the cut of it, the length of it, how it stays together.
Let me try to explain this to someone that may not quite understand.
Okay, you know how coffee, you have like a French press cut, or a cold brew cut, that is longer grains that you don't chop up as much? Okay, and then to brew coffee, you have a very fine grain that you chopped up more with the bean grinder.
It's like that, it's like taking this French press, the longer one, or the cold brew coffee, and putting it back in the bean grinder for another minute, and then just mixing the piss out of it, and then calling it a French cut. It's not the same thing, but they're trying to act like it is. Am I right on that?
Yeah, you're correct. You're correct. For those that don't, you're staying what I'm talking about.
Well, I mean, as you've seen, you looked at the numbers, we've got people everywhere, some people may not be familiar.
Yeah.
But, anyway, Cas, here's a study note. Those guys complain that pretty much every long cut is that what?
I wonder why they did that, I don't get that.
Well, see, I got the word, and me and my foreman got talking, and by the way, his marks also.
Oh, okay.
And he's another good friend of mine.
Mark with a K?
Yes.
Okay. We don't count the marks with a C, I don't know if I told you that or not.
Well, there's only one I do count.
Oh, really? Okay.
Skippy.
Okay.
Mark from Bermatis.
Oh, yeah, yeah, okay.
And after the tree. Yeah.
Okay. All right, he deserves to have a K, actually.
Yeah, he does, he does.
He's still on the road, doing comedy.
I know he is. I know, yeah. It's pretty cool.
I follow him on Facebook.
Okay, okay, then I accept him too, you're right.
Yeah, but anyway, I was talking to him because he just gave up long cut. He went to pouches.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe that's why they're doing it, Rob.
They want you to buy the pouches, which is considerably less product for more money.
Well, and we're standard, we're talking.
Uh-huh.
And the newly found podcast, he asked the question, I wonder why they're doing that.
Uh-huh.
And the new found podcaster kicked in on me.
The things I have to do on air, when you bring something up, I just have to jump and throw something out there.
Uh-huh.
I did that, and it makes sense.
Okay.
Okay, there's a lot of people that's quitting tobacco.
Uh-huh.
Especially chewing.
Yes.
So they have to make these crops make more money.
Yes.
See what I mean? See where I'm going here?
Yes, I do.
So what I'm thinking they're doing is they're taking the long cut, cutting it in like half, and making it last longer,
because hard time with the crops, whatever.
I don't know, I just threw it out there, but it made sense when it rolled out of my mouth.
And he agreed.
There is something up there, I don't know what it is, but I'm not the only one in Camdenton complaining.
I don't know about the rest of the world.
It is something like that, it's money related, definitely.
Yeah, you're paying seven dollars a can.
Geez, that's how much it is.
Yes, some places more than that.
Well you know what, you're going to do yourself a favor quitting anyhow.
Yes, I am.
Thank you for 40 plus years of enjoying chewing tobacco, because I'm done.
It's done.
I cannot hold it in my mouth.
Okay, Rob, very cool segment. Thanks for being so frank and honest to the audience.
I didn't get out of hand, and I don't know.
No, no, no, you did a great job illustrating.
That's more of a customer thing, you know what I mean?
Yes, I appreciate the way you brought that and how you spoke about it, and you know, it was very well done, Rob.
Thank you.
Did you hear that there's going to be a big walkout on CVS and Walgreens over working conditions, pharmacists?
No, I don't know.
Yeah, employees at some of the largest drug store chains staged a walkout across the country.
Walgreens and companies are, they're not union, so it makes it difficult to stage a nationwide walkout.
Shane Jerminski, an independent pharmacist in Southern California who used to work for Walgreens, is one of the walkout organizers.
He told CNN Monday night that organizers are already submerged in calls about closed pharmacies.
Jerminski confirmed that there's at least been 25 store closures because of this.
Many are just calling in sick because of possible retaliation.
United Food and Commercial Workers Union supports the walkout.
The walkout is to wake up the company to actively pursue better working conditions.
But the thing is, I understand what you're saying, Rob, but every industry I know cannot get enough people.
And I think that they would gladly have more people in a Walgreens or a CVS, but you can't find people to work.
Now, if you pay them more money and better benefits, then that's possible.
Which everybody at this point is looking for.
Yes, so you know, maybe that's the answer right there.
So I know the answer isn't what they're doing because I know that I will not go to a CVS now or a Walgreens because quite frankly, they suck.
And they used to be so good. They were the one you could depend on. They're a little bit higher.
But if you need to go get cough medicine at 3 in the morning, no big deal.
There's a CVS open somewhere. There's a Walgreens open somewhere. No big deal.
You need it a minute clinic, no big deal. There they are.
They have just continually dropped the ball into where they're like, they're dropping the ball out of existence, in my opinion.
So, I mean, they already had the huge fiasco in California where they weren't prosecuting.
This is CVS under $1,000. So people are just like getting $999 worth of stuff and walking out and flipping off the attendant.
So, anyhow, CVS has just had one bad time and Walgreens too after another.
Good luck to them. I think there's a need for them, definitely.
Yeah, here's my point of view on that, Mark.
A drug store is in the medical field.
Yes.
You should pay your workers more than a McDonald's employee.
And that's part of the problem right there, right?
Yeah, that's what everybody's wanting to pay.
It's close to minimum wage, but maybe a little bit higher.
Look, it's not like...
Go ahead, I'm sorry.
Yeah, but today's prices, people have to earn money.
It's not like they're giving us a break on everything that we buy.
I mean, everything's ultra-expensive at CVS and Walgreens.
I'm pretty sure they could afford to pay their help a little bit more.
Or quite a bit more.
That's what I'm saying.
God knows, I pay fucking double sometimes for something at CVS or Walgreens, just to the convenience.
So I don't have to go into Walmart and dick through everything.
But I get something half the price at Walmart, so maybe they need to really think about what they're doing there.
Yeah, they're just going to boost Walmart.
Yeah.
And all these other small companies.
They're going to run the big companies out.
Yeah, I agree.
Do you know that Travis Kelsey filed five new trademark requests?
Oh, I didn't.
Yep, he did. Here's what they're for.
The first four trademark requests are,
Killer Trav, his Instagram handle for merch, Alright Nah, which is a phrase that he uses a lot on his New Heights podcast with his brother Jason.
Yeah.
The other three are Travis Kelsey, Flight 87, and Kelsey's Crunch.
Pins, posters, bobbleheads, clothing, and even cereal are his targets that he is coming up with to sell this merch.
And that is why he trademarked those five names or whatever.
Yeah, I'm sitting here looking at a box of Kelsey's Crunch.
Oh yeah, delightful cereal. Not really. I don't really like it. I tried it.
I've never opened. I've got two of them on me.
I have the two unopened and I have the two that I opened. And each one of them are like Frosted Flakes, which I'm not a fan of.
That's what I heard. I just got them for six.
I've never been a fan of Frosted Flakes. Never. I just think they're gross. But I know a lot of people like them, so whatever.
Yeah.
Anyhow, I have something a little bit different here.
This is a list of weather-related phobias.
I got this from Fox4's Joe Lauria's Instagram page. Found it interesting, so I'm bringing it over here to the podcast.
So thank you, Joe Lauria. Watch you most nights that I'm at home.
When I'm in Kansas City, I watch you.
Yeah.
I hope so.
Joe, I got a deal for you. Okay. He looks like somebody that would. Yeah. If you listen to the podcast, give us a secret idea, okay? What should he do?
Hey, I know, here, Joe, if you listen to Two Deuce Bags in a Microphone on your next newscast after you hear this, grab your earlobe like Carol Burnett when you're done with the forecast. That way we know.
Fair enough, Rob?
Yeah, but you're going to have to send me videos.
I will. I will.
I don't get Fox4 down here.
You know what? I will DVR every Fox4 until I see this.
Awesome.
So anyhow, I got these terms from Fox4 meteorologist Joe Lauria on his Instagram page. The first one is,
Ancrophobia. It is fear of wind. Yeah. Antlophobia. You know what antlophobia is?
Fear of ants.
Fear of floods.
Oh, really?
Uh huh. Astrophobia. You know what that is?
Yeah?
Fear of the Houston Astros, I don't know. Um, fear of thunderstorms.
Okay.
Chianophobia. Fear of snow.
Alright, that makes sense.
Yeah, I guess they're just afraid of snow. They don't walk in it. I don't know.
Um, next one. Cryophobia.
Fear of cold days.
Okay. Chirolapse.
Yeah, yeah I could see that. Okay.
Lake Sully.
I think it's pronounced chymophobia. Chymophobia, fear of waves.
Heliophobia. You know what that is?
What?
Fear of the sun.
What?
Homelio-phobia.
Fear of fog.
The lapsophobia.
Fear of severe weather.
Okay.
Nephophobia. Fear of clouds.
Ombrophobia. Fear of rain.
And finally, thermophobia. Fear of heat.
Did you say leafophobia?
No. Hang on, let me look here.
It's like the daughter of the fourth from the last.
Nephophobia or nephophobia? Nephophobia.
Oh, okay, okay. It was an N. I thought it was an L.
Yeah, I think it's nephophobia.
Well, that was putting a whole little different meaning there.
It could be nephophobia, but I think it's nephophobia. But anyhow, yeah, one of those two.
Okay, I thought you said it was an L.
Okay, no. No, so.
Okay, okay.
Alright. So, you got anything you want to discuss?
Yeah, listen, I ran across this story a few years ago.
Okay.
And now I just ran across it again, November 1st, 2023.
And I'm going to break it down. It's a long story.
There is a mountain in Turkey.
Okay.
Mount Arayat.
Yeah.
The highest mountain in Turkey.
Are you aware of it?
Yes.
Researchers believe that Mount Arayat in Turkey is Noah's Ark.
Really?
Yeah.
As the dirt and everything, roads are up around from it, and researchers are up there digging around it.
And these researchers, from three different universities, from Turkey and the United States, have been working on this.
Uh-huh.
And they've found evidence of human activity near the boat shape formation from between 5500 and 3000 BC.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, they were really starting to think that Mount Arayat in Turkey is Noah's Ark.
And like I said, this is a story that I read.
I read something about it like a few years ago, actually.
Okay.
And I had not heard anything about it until today, and I ran across this.
And this is on AOL.
Okay.
AOL Court.
I can definitely believe it, Rob. That doesn't surprise me.
Yeah, but there's the Marlowe Research Center.
Okay.
That's cool.
Why don't we take a little break, and I'll be right back with a little music news. Does that sound good?
Sounds good.
Alrighty, we'll be right back, everybody.
Continuing our quest here at Two Douchebags in a Microphone to be constantly funny, once again we offer you strange insults from an alien.
Ha.
When you also get on your computer, your headphones don't catch them.
Two Douchebags in a Microphone, the number one show for people that lie about their favorite podcast.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
May, your five-year-old neighbor had a ball.
Here are just a few testimonials from some satisfied customers.
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.
Should I record frog sounds in the summer, then play them when it's zero degrees on my ring doorbell for the Amazon guy?
Yeah, that sounds like fun.
Douchebags in a Microphone, I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
Alright, well as promised, I have a little bit of music news.
I think everybody that's listened to this podcast, including Rob, knows that I'm a huge Glenn Hughes fan.
Deep Purple, Solo, Black Sabbath, all different trapeze, Black Country Communion, California Breed, Dead Daisies.
I've been in a lot of different bands and his body of work is insanely good.
At 73 or whatever he is, he can still hit the falsetto notes like he is 20. Just a freak in nature how good he is still.
So, Glenn Hughes has not put out a solo album. He's done stuff with the Dead Daisies, California Breed, and Black Country Communion.
But he has not put out a solo album since 2016.
Well, now he plans on putting out a solo album, finally.
Which I can't wait, because like I said, I'm a huge fan of his and I love his solo stuff as well as his stuff in bands.
So, in a new interview with Brazilian music journalist Igor Miranda, Les Jerry vocalist bassist Glenn Hughes was asked about plans to write and record the long awaited follow up to his 26th solo album, Resonate.
He said it's transcribed by Glabbermouth.net. I'm preparing to go in the studio next year, sometime in the summer.
I'm preparing the songs in the next couple of months. I have a few ideas and when I go in the studio, I'll be ready to go.
Ask how Resonate has aged for a musical.ly since it's released seven years ago. Glenn said, I love the album. It's one of my favorite albums.
I think a lot of people across the world, the rock fans, love that album, including me.
I was at home writing that album and I went to Copenhagen and I really had a great time making that album and the next one hopefully will be as strong.
Last month, Glenn told the Iron City Rocks podcast about where he draws his lyrical inspiration from nowadays.
I don't write about politics, I write about the human condition. I write about how we are feeling.
What we're going through and what we have to do to get through whatever. You know, acceptance, staying in the present moment.
This is my big thing for me. People call it woke, awakening, if you will. For me, it's all about staying present in the moment right now and I'm all about that.
So, can't wait for new Glenn Hughes music. He always puts out good product. I love his stuff.
Then, former Motley Crue producer Tom Warman and their best producer, in my opinion, because he's the one that oversaw the classic, the real stuff in my opinion.
Before Bob Rock took it over and made it pop metal or whatever.
But what I'm talking about is like the Too Fast for Love, Shout at the Devil, Theater of Pain, and Girls Girls Girls.
Those, the first two were the strongest by far and more of a heavy metal punk, whatever you want to call it, feel, crotch rock.
That was the crew we were into.
Yes, that was the crew that I loved so dearly. And then when they got Bob Rock and started Bon Jovi and out, not so much.
It was still good, I still listen to it, but it was not the same.
So, this guy, Tom Warman, former Motley Crue producer Tom Warman says that he is a Mick Mars corner when it comes to the guitarist's legal dispute with the bandmates over the group's ongoing tour.
When Mars, a co-founding member of Motley Crue, announced his retirement from touring with the group in October 2022 as a result of worsening health issues, he maintained that he would remain a member of the band with John 5 taking his place on the road.
However, he has since filed a lawsuit against the band saying that after his announcement, the rest of the crew tried to remove him as a significant stakeholder in the group's corporation and business holdings via a shareholders meeting.
Specifically, Mars claims he was asked to sign a severance agreement that would divest him of his 25% stake in the band's various business interests in return for a 5% stake in the band's 2023 tour.
This stake, the lawsuit alleges, would be reduced to 0% in the future tours. Mick claims the crew's management later upped to offer him 5% and a 7.5% stake in the band's 2023 tour,
which would remain contingent on Mars divesting himself from the band and their businesses.
When Mars refused to sign the papers, the band took the dispute to arbitration rather than a public lawsuit so that the public would not be aware of the deplorable manner in which they treated their brother of 41 years.
Mick claims in the lawsuit that he was pretty much the catalyst for everything.
Basically, he said that they're just a bunch of lazy fucks and he was the one coming up with the music and everything.
If you read a lot of their old interviews, they pretty much say this, don't they? They say they're on drugs, they were sitting around in their pile of vomit and shit and could barely function.
Well, Mick was the only one functioning, is the way it sounded. And for them to do him like that, in my opinion, I think is repulsive.
And it's exactly what I thought they were now, unfortunately. I think that they are greedy to me, greedy, selfish people. And I don't like it.
Back in 2008, Tom Worman fired Nicky Sixx after responding to Worman's letter about what he called Nicky Sixx's memoir, The Heron Diaries, a complete, totally diluted and stunningly inaccurate.
Worman took issue with Sixx's claims that the bassists did all the work in the studio on the crew albums, Theater of Pain shouted the devil on girls, girls, girls, while Worman chatted on the phone.
Worman also lashed out in 2004 at Twisted Sister about the Stay Hungry album, and I'm not even going to go into that.
But anyhow, he is in Mick Moore's corner, and I agree with him on everything that he said. I think if they should have kept him all along, they never got Bob Rock. In my opinion, they were a much better band with his raw feel.
He was better at knowing what that band should sound like instead of what Bob Rock, in my opinion, brought to it.
And anyhow, this whole thing about I did all the work, I did all the work, I did all the work, I find really unappealing.
It took all four of them.
Nice wording on that.
Yeah, thank you.
So, okay, it's like I just read Geezer Butler's book, and he could not compliment Ozzy enough on his contributions to Black Sabbath.
Ozzy doesn't play guitar, he doesn't write music, but he said that Ozzy came up with melodies.
He was such a melody maker that he could hum it, and then they could sing it, and then they could put music to it, and that was a big catalyst of the band.
Why Nicky Sixx can't do this with the rest of the band, I don't get.
He should be like, you know what, maybe Vince doesn't write music, but man, you know what, he shows up, and he gives it his all, he puts his flair into it or whatever.
But ever since, the more I read about Nicky Sixx, the more I really don't think I like the guy.
It just seems to me like he is attention-getting, in my opinion.
He is self-righteous.
Self-righteous, starting to look?
Yeah, starting to look selfish, just I don't like it, and it's a horrible look, and I wish he would just...
Starting to be like everybody else?
Yeah, you know, I mean, Godsmack did write that song about him called Crying Like a Bitch.
Yeah.
So, you know, and they said because he had so many weird rules about being on tour, you could only go here, you couldn't go there, you could only say this, and all that stuff.
For a guy that used to like party all the time and ended up vomiting in someone's face and shit like that, I don't know, I find that awful... ballsy.
Yeah.
You know, know where you came from.
You know, I don't know, you know what, I'm done with it.
I agree with Tom Worman, I'm glad that Tom Worman piled in here and gave his, because I respect Tom Worman a lot.
Alright, Rob, you said that you had something that you should have read a little while ago, but you didn't get to?
Yeah, I should have read this back when you were covering the emails.
Oh yeah, okay.
I have a text.
Okay.
From my little brother.
Okay.
And this is at Tuesday at 1.17pm, and I can take a picture of it and send it to you.
No, I don't believe it.
Yeah, yeah. He texts me out of the blue and says,
You can't tell me Mark and Topher weren't holding hands on that beach the way he tells a story. It was a broke beach between the two.
We were not holding hands.
Well, me and my brother don't believe it Mark.
I know, I know, I know, I accept that, but we were not holding hands. I'm telling you, we were not holding hands.
We were both happily married. We were not holding hands.
And if we were holding hands, there's nothing wrong with that.
But we were not.
This wasn't work and read that, man. I'm still rolling.
I can only imagine. You just opened the flood door on emails now. You know that, don't you?
Yeah, I can only imagine how many emails I'm going to field with this subject now.
You can take my brother over that one.
Thanks.
Well, real quick, I got one more Nikki Sixx thing and then we can move on.
Nikki Sixx once claimed that Motley Crue were in a secret negotiation with the US State Department to travel to Baghdad during the Iraq War to perform a Rolling Stones song.
It was one of my dreams to go play Street Fighting Man for the troops overseas said Sixx.
So right now I'm in the negotiations with the Defense Department Sixx claim back then.
So long story short, Nikki spouted off about the current president at the time, George W. Bush.
So for whatever reason, it never came to fruition.
I think he was kind of speculating and like maybe W. put the kibosh on it because he was spouting off about him.
Or something like that or whatever.
Or that's what he thinks or whatever.
And I got another Travis Kelsey side note here.
Travis Kelsey is sharing his love of barbecue with his fans.
The Kansas City Chiefs tight end released a line of barbecue products called Travis Kelsey's Kitchen that is now exclusively available at select Walmart locations across the country.
The line of seven dishes can be found in the refrigerator aisle at Walmart.
A representative confirmed to People magazine.
The dishes are a mix of entrees and sides that are inspired by the flavors of Kansas City.
The football player's food line includes two types of macaroni and cheese.
One feature in bacon, the other feature in brisket burn ends and two types of baked beans.
Again featuring the burn ends and also a version with sausage.
All sounds good to me.
Sounds good to me.
Alright. Well I'm going to look for it next time I'm in Wallyland.
I've got some coffee hacks for making a better cup of coffee. Do you want to hear them?
I definitely want to hear them.
The number one thing that these are top coffee houses in America.
They did a poll and this is what they say you can do to ensure to have a consistently great cup of coffee brewed at home.
This is a regular brewer. This isn't an espresso maker or a Keurig or nothing like that.
It's a regular coffee brewer and this is their suggestions on having a better cup of coffee.
And a more consistent cup of coffee every morning.
One they say buy quality coffee beans.
Oh yeah.
Yeah I mean that goes without saying but yeah okay I get it.
Add sugars and spices to your coffee grounds.
I didn't know that.
So you could put cinnamon in it. You could put even wintergreen if you wanted.
Peppermint. Whatever you want.
Maybe you could put some sort of lavender if you wanted.
I mean it really I didn't know you could do that but it does make sense.
Or if you're a real man you could put raw meat in there.
Right?
Yeah?
Yeah take pieces of raw meat and just throw them in there with the coffee grounds.
And brew the coffee.
You could have like coffee meat.
Yeah meat coffee or coffee meat or whatever.
Yeah instead of coffee mate it will be coffee meat.
How's that? Does that sound good?
Yeah.
Yeah can't go wrong with that. What could possibly go wrong?
Next one.
Fold your filter along the lines.
And that means that the lines that they have already folded there to put your filter in.
So it doesn't crumple so it stays straight.
I mean I think everybody pretty much knows that but anyhow.
Yeah.
Rinse your coffee filter with hot water.
Yeah I knew that.
Filtered water brings out more flavor.
I knew that too.
Matter of fact I know people that if they don't have like a filter machine in their house.
They will only brew their coffee with bottled water.
Filtered water.
They swear by it.
Brew coffee water at the right temperature.
Grind your own beans.
I can attest to that.
I'm a much happier man now that I grind my own beans.
It's a much better cup of coffee.
Have a sharp coffee grinder for a fine bean texture.
Makes sense?
Grind right before brewing.
So as soon as you're good ready to throw that shit in the filter.
You know some people grind all their stuff.
You know they go to Costco or something like that.
And they buy the whole bean and they grind it there.
They say get your own bean grinder.
They're only like fucking 12 bucks at Walmart.
And grind your own every morning.
Yeah.
Alright.
Measure the coffee beans for better flavor.
That is true.
If it says put in 3 tablespoons to 10 cups of water.
Do that.
It makes a hell of a difference by doing it right.
Brew within 3 months of the roast date.
And the roast date is on most finer coffees.
It will have a roast date on there.
Yeah.
Use the proper water to grind ratio.
I mean I even knew that back in the Folger days.
Didn't you?
Yeah.
I'm still in Folger days.
Okay.
Nothing wrong with that.
Finer grinds traditionally makes a smoother cup of Java.
Have proper stay fresh storage like a jar with a latch.
To keep it you know.
I have this coffee bag thing that it latches.
It seals.
And the coffee stays fresh in there.
So it works for me.
I'd take mine in the freezer.
Oh okay.
Here's one.
My grandma did.
Here's one right here.
Listen to this.
Roast your own beans at home with a popcorn maker.
Did not ever think of that did you?
No I did.
Makes sense though.
You do the same thing with the beans.
Tamp your grounds even for a better espresso.
And that's true.
I do tamp the grounds before I run them through.
Whenever you tamp the grounds it ensures that the grounds don't start floating off and getting into your coffee.
And it also makes a more concentrated brew.
So.
True.
Always clean the inside of your coffee brewer.
Say no to Keurigs.
Brews too hot.
Bitter taste.
Use a French press.
Which I can attest to also.
French presses are the best but I never have enough time.
French presses take a while because you're basically doing it with hot water.
Out of the tap.
You're not doing it with hot water that you just.
That you just you know fucking baked for like I don't know how long.
So.
Steep your cold brew for at least 18 hours.
I knew that because I used to steep cold brew.
Freeze leftover brew for coffee ice cubes.
That makes sense doesn't it?
Yeah.
Frozen coffee beans grind much smoother.
So like Rob you can take yours right out of the freezer.
And grind them and it would make a more consistent finer grind.
So you're on to something there.
Yeah.
Yeah I like it.
Those are pretty good suggestions there.
Yeah it is.
Some of them people probably already knew and some of them maybe they didn't like the popcorn popper for roasting your old beans.
I don't think most people knew that.
So.
Yeah.
Okay Samuel Adams has a beer that's very controversial.
Did you know that?
No I did.
Yeah.
It is called Utopias.
Since its introduction in 2001.
Samuel Adams Utopias has earned its reputation as one of the world's strongest.
Most mysterious and sought after beers.
Its ruby black color and lack of carbonation suggest a vintage port.
While its high alcohol level begins to approach fine cognac.
As a founder and brewer Jim Koch I think yeah K-O-C-H Jim Koch explains.
We're delighted to announce the arrival of Utopias 2023.
Which continues our tradition of surprising beer lovers.
It is brewed not distilled and is definitely beer.
In the 1990s the big brewers were competing to make lighter and lighter beers.
But I was drawn to the darker richer end of the beer spectrum.
We brewed Samuel Adams double bock in 1988 and then a triple bock in 1994.
These beers are pioneers in the extreme beer movement.
After the 1990 release of Millennium we changed ourselves to create an even stronger more distinctive beer.
Enter Utopias in 2001.
Utopias 2023 brewing is now released every two years.
Utopias is a blend of multiple batches of the breweries earlier extreme beers.
Which are further aged in multiple types of barrels.
Utopias has always been aged in charred whiskey cas.
And this year the Sam Adam brewers expanded the kinds of barrels for more complex flavor.
In addition to American bourbon barrels we use imported scotch and peated whiskey barrels.
The peated scotch barrels also a wisp of smoke on the flavor.
While Ruby Port and other cas from Portugal and Cognac barrels.
And France being the dark fruity notes. The barrels from France.
Anyhow is brewed in Ohio, aged in Pennsylvania, blended in Massachusetts and bottled in Delaware.
This beer has a long history of being everywhere.
How to indulge in Utopias 2023.
This extreme barrel aged beer is recommended to be served in a two ounce portion.
Served at room temperature in a sniffer to capture the aromas.
Samuel Adams Utopias 2023 can be found at select especially beer and liquor stores.
Starting October 30th for a suggested retail price of $240 per 24.5 ounce bottle.
That takes me out. I love no beer that much.
Dude I was waiting for you to get done because I want to say something about that.
Oh go ahead.
No I was guessing it was going to be pretty pricey as much fuel that they spent traveling around.
You're right.
Why it has to go through that whole process it did not say.
Dude that's a lot of diesel fuel that they got to spend.
No you're right. No wonder it's $240 per 24 ounce.
That's alright. Like I said I don't love any beer that much.
I was just going to guess that.
I think I'll stick with my Yindling Grafft and be happy.
Yeah I think I will too.
Yeah. Okay Sam Adams thank you. Whatever.
Alright well we are at the end of this podcast.
Rob do you have anything you want to say? Any final thoughts?
You got a story you want to throw in there before we leave?
Yes I do.
Okay.
Let me pull it back up.
Alright my final thought for this evening.
Okay.
Every McDonald's should have a flag to fly it half-masked when the ice cream machines work.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yes.
As a matter of fact Topher did that story a while back remember?
About how a guy came up with an app. Yeah.
I agree with you.
I do too. It's complete bullshit.
I think McDonald's should be required to fly the flag half-masked.
Yeah. And it simply means don't waste your time if you're coming here for ice cream.
And they like to find for me to pull in there.
Yes.
And waiting to get drive through just to find out the ice cream machine.
Yeah. And they use it against us too.
Because they figure you're going to go ahead and order because you waited for 10 minutes.
You're going to go ahead and order something because you're there.
That's why they don't tell you it's broke.
That's why they didn't tell you they didn't defrost it last night.
Is because they want you to come in.
And they know once they got you in that line there's no way out.
You're going to order something.
So I love that thought.
Good one. Good one Rob.
Alrighty. And on that note everybody thank you for listening.
Have a fantastic night.
Remember we are your morning show.
Because we are the only fucking entertaining thing out there.
So keep listening.
Like I said I was listening to demographics this morning.
Shit.
We're getting a lot during morning rush hour.
We're getting a lot through evening rush hour.
Yeah a lot of people listen to us on the way home.
It's probably about 10 or 11 p.m.
A lot of people listen to us on the way home too.
Yes.
So hey maybe people are banging to our stuff.
Hey if you guys are like fucking banging or like you're getting a fucking a Hummer or you're fucking whistling in the wheat field or some shit while listening to us.
Break us off an email. Let us know.
Yeah.
With pictures. With pictures.
No. No.
No. Just kidding. I don't need porn in my inbox.
Just kidding.
Yeah. Yeah. We need. Yeah. We need some down.
Yeah. Yeah. All you need to do is just say yes.
The other day I was getting some num nums while listening to you guys.
It was fucking fantastic or whatever.
I copped a bigger nut because I love Rob's voice.
Whatever.
Anyhow thank you guys for listening.
Have a fantastic evening.
Good night everybody.
Hey where do they go. Where are the douche bags.
Oh my god someone took a dump in the corner. Oh jeez.
Glad they're gone. Let's just hope they don't come back.
Man that smells.