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Live from the historic river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the crystal blue

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waters of the Missouri River, it's two douchebags and a microphone podcast.

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And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.

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How does a butterfly take a dump?

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It never stops long enough.

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Maybe it just shits while lofting.

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Maybe it shits real quick while chewing flowers.

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Hm.

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I may never know.

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The apocalypse just happened.

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You don't know what to do.

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You don't know where to go.

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But we can tell you what you can eat.

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Dandelion can be stewed with wild mustard and wild garlic for a very tasty stew.

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You could even introduce our old friend the hickory nut for a bit of smoky flavor.

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As much fun as an electric can opener to the scrotum, two douchebags and a microphone.

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I'm Mark.

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And I'm Rob.

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Alright.

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Well, this is the second podcast we're doing tonight.

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Now remember I promised something, right?

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I promised some ass paddlings.

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No, I'm ready.

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Okay.

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After the week I had, I need to get some frustration out of it.

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Okay.

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Well, number one.

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You chose to be a sacrificial lamb, right?

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You said that you will take an ass paddling for the show, right?

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So number one, who gets an ass paddling just because he volunteered, because that's what

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kind of man he is.

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He will take the punishment for you.

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Rob Rag gets an ass paddling.

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Yes, I do.

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And if anyone has anything to say about that, doucheb66 at yahoo.com.

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Now this is an invisible ass paddling so he's not going to know where it came.

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So let me go.

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I don't know when it's coming.

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No.

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It just went me and Tofer get together and we go to Genie and say, hey, we got our monthly

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ass paddling.

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We want to do it today.

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And then the Genie grants us our invisibility to do the ass paddling.

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And then, you know, that's it.

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So in case people...

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I could be at work in the middle of cutting a piece of steel and whack!

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All of a sudden, out of nowhere, I don't know what's happened.

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And all of a sudden he's going to be like, oh shit, there's my ass paddling.

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So we will show mercy on Rob's ass.

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We're going to give him the stern one.

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We're going to give him the stern one, but we're not going to go crazy.

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Okay, so because he has podcasts to do, so we can't hurt him too bad.

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So here's how it originated in case anyone does not know, which if you don't know, you're

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a bad person because you haven't listened to the program enough.

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So and that hurts us.

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That hurts us physically and mentally.

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So okay, Tofer and I were walking along the beach.

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We were not holding hands.

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I don't care what Rob says.

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We were walking along the beach in the sunrise talking.

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The wind was blowing in her hair as a beautiful morning until I tripped over something.

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I will say I always got that.

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Okay, all right, Rob doubts it.

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I'm telling you, I'm telling you we're not holding hands, but Rob says different.

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So I stub my toe.

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I want video.

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All right, I stub my toe and I'm on the ground going, oh, fuck.

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Oh shit.

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Oh my gosh, that hurts.

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And Tofer goes, wait a minute.

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The hell is that?

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It looks like a genie's bottle.

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So automatically I jump up toe hurting and Tofer runs over there and we pop it open and

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this genie comes out and we're like, oh yeah, we want our three wishes.

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And the genie's like, oh fuck, let me go over this again guys.

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One wish, that's it.

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No more.

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But if I were you, I would choose the wish wisely.

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You only get one.

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You don't get three.

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That's a lie.

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Only one wish.

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So he's like, you know, world hunger, world peace, you know, and the pollution, but you

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want something good, right?

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And me and Tofer look at each other and said, no, we want to be invisible so we can ass

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paddle people.

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The genie sighs, he rolls his eyes and goes, very well, I'd have to grant you your wish

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even if you guys are idiots.

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And so boom, once a month we get to turn invisible and paddle people's asses that deserve it.

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And that's awesome.

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You made it.

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You got to do it once a month.

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Once a month.

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If not, it'd be one time and then yeah, it'd be boring.

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Yeah, yeah, it would suck.

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So the genie done a solid.

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It was us.

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We misunderstood.

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We thought we had three wishes, but he said, no, we watched too much TV and to shut the

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fuck up.

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So one wish.

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I watched too much Dreaming Genie.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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And he was a very condescending genie too.

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You could tell that he couldn't stand us, but he still had to do what we said.

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So okay, number one, Rob Rad, because he volunteered, we will show mercy on his asshole though.

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We're not going to go crazy and just, you know, it just destroy his ass.

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Don't forget.

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I have hair for cover.

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I have padding.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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I will run it by tofer.

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Maybe we will.

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We'll take the full blast.

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Okay.

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All right.

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Okay.

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Full blast.

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The Rob Rad.

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I grew up taking my dad's ass beatings.

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Come on, man.

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Okay.

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All right.

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You get full force.

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Give me full force.

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I'll take one for the team.

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All right.

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Rob, you are a trooper and you care about people.

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You care about our audience and our fan base.

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I'm starting to get misty.

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So I go on.

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The second one, Kale again, because it's such a fraud.

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It's my understanding that the person that came up with Kale was joking and he joked around

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with his friends and they like had a little side bet.

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He goes, Hey, he goes, I'll bet you I can introduce this garbage off the bottom of this

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can and I'm going to call it something fancy and people are going to love it just because

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I say it's, it's the next thing.

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I say this like the super food and it's great for you and it tastes fantastic.

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He goes, watch the rubes will go, Oh my God.

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No, I'll run around it and they'll start buying it.

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So anyhow, I have two words to say.

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Go ahead.

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Thank you.

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You're welcome.

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And I, Kale was actually in the hall of fame.

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No, why?

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Because you put them two in that order.

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You did not follow me with Kale.

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You put me before Kale.

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Yes.

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Yes.

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If you put me, if you, if you put me following Kale, I would second guess this podcast.

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Okay.

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Well you, that did not happen and it won't happen.

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Thank you.

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That's why I said thank you brother.

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You are welcome.

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Put me first.

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Okay.

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So Kale, because the people that say they love it and all that is such a fraud.

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So it gets it.

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It's actually in the hall of fame, but we don't care.

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I'm still going to keep fucking smashing its ass every chance I get the next one.

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I got my dad's leather belt ready.

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Oh, okay.

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You might save it for this guy too.

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This next one, Frederick Douglas Morefield.

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You know who that is?

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He's a Pentagon official that is on suspension for having a dog fighting ring.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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I did read that.

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Yeah.

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That ass clown, he needs fucking, he needs like 10 or 11 ass paddlings.

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Yeah.

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The next one along the dog theme, president Joe Biden for having dogs that bite.

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Yes.

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We agree he would make it.

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Yes.

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So, uh.

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Dog, dog, dog, man.

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If you're living in the damn white house, you do not want your damn dog biting people.

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I told you what I want to do, Rob.

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If I was president, I would train my dog to hump the secret service agent's legs.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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And then they would have to sit there and let him finish.

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Otherwise I'd fire him.

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I'd say, Hey, when they start getting a little pissy, I'm going to let him finish.

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If you don't, you're fired.

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And while we're at it.

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Yeah.

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Let's raise that fucking tail up and whip that dog's ass too.

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I was getting ready to get, okay, Rob, you've got the next one.

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The dog commander.

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Both dogs.

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Both dogs.

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Cause he's had two dogs.

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Oh, that's right.

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The one, I forgot the name of the one in Delaware already.

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And then the dog commander.

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Sarge and commander.

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Sarge and commander.

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Sarge and commander.

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Sarge and commander.

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Sarge and commander.

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Sarge and commander is the one that just got kicked out.

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Yes.

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He's the one that got kicked out.

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Yeah.

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And I noticed that was something.

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So Biden, train your dogs to hump the secret service people's legs.

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Don't have them.

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Don't have them.

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Yeah.

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It'll be funny, man.

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You can like record it and like show people go, Hey, Hey, come here.

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You want to watch commander dry hump the fucking secret service guy over there?

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Yeah.

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I'm going to put it on video.

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There's nothing he can do about it.

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Cause I'm the president.

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I told me says anything at all.

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He's fired.

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So he's got to sit over there and act like he loves it.

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Hey, can I say one thing?

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Yes.

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If he takes that advice, he might be able to solve world peace.

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You know what?

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I agree.

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All this shit this country is going through that we're trying to keep everybody's minds

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off of.

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He takes that advice, let's go and help people.

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He might be able to solve world peace.

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You know what?

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And Rob, hang on a second.

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I want to go to a serious point here.

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What you said, we get, there's a lot of stuff going on in the world and humor is everybody's

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medicine.

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That's why we're here.

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Yeah.

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We hope we bring you a little humor.

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We hope we bring you a little fun, a little delight in your life.

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Hopefully you can turn us on and just get a little grin and go, yeah, you know what?

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I like this.

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That's what we're here for.

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We're not here to tell you about the Israeli war.

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We're not here to tell you about what Justin Trudeau just did.

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We're not here to tell you about what-

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You want to hear that stuff and listen to everybody else.

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Yes.

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We are not going to do that.

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We are simply dick jokes and fart jokes and stupid humor.

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That's all we ever want to be and that's all we ever will be most likely.

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We want to tell you stuff about music.

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Yes.

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We just want to be your entertainment podcast.

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We want to be your background noise that makes you chuckle.

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00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:56,440
Anyhow, thank you for bringing that up, Rob, because I think it's very important-

262
00:12:56,440 --> 00:13:02,040
For those of you who don't know, that was a good opportunity to bring that up, Rob.

263
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:03,040
Thank you.

264
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:04,040
Yeah, yeah.

265
00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:05,040
Well, thank you.

266
00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:07,040
You actually originally brought it up and I appreciate that.

267
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:11,000
Yeah, well, we're just talking, man.

268
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,480
We're just talking.

269
00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:13,480
All right.

270
00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:20,280
Next on the list is Georgia Highway Patrol for accidentally giving out a $1.4 million

271
00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:21,280
ticket.

272
00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:25,840
I almost reported on that last week.

273
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:29,040
I almost reported on it too and then I decided no, no, no, no.

274
00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:30,040
They need NASPADLON.

275
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:33,040
But I've read the full story.

276
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:34,040
Yeah, yeah.

277
00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:38,680
I mean, look, but imagine that guy when he first got the ticket though.

278
00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:39,680
Oh my God, dude.

279
00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:40,680
I know.

280
00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:42,880
That's what I'm going by right there.

281
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:45,320
That's why Georgia Highway Patrol gets an NASPADLON.

282
00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:49,120
You imagine opening up that letter and going, what the-

283
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,800
You explained to everybody what happened.

284
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:52,800
Okay.

285
00:13:52,800 --> 00:14:01,680
Georgia Highway Patrol accidentally gave a man a $1.4 million ticket, but it never really

286
00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:02,680
was a ticket.

287
00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:03,680
It was like-

288
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:05,680
It was a speeding ticket.

289
00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:09,560
Yeah, but it wasn't even a typo.

290
00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:10,560
It was like how-

291
00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:11,560
Okay.

292
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:13,040
Go ahead.

293
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,480
No, no, go ahead.

294
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:16,480
Okay.

295
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:23,320
My understanding is they have prototype tickets and one of them is like $1.4 million.

296
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:27,200
They accidentally handed out a prototype ticket.

297
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:31,280
This is what the ticket's supposed to look like and they had to put an amount in there,

298
00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:32,280
right?

299
00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:34,280
So people would know how to write them out?

300
00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:35,280
Okay.

301
00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:38,760
Well, you've read the story since me because I heard a little something.

302
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:39,760
Oh, okay.

303
00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:40,760
What did you hear?

304
00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:47,040
I just heard it was like it was something they sent in the mail.

305
00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:48,040
Okay.

306
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:51,040
It was something they sent in the mail.

307
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:53,880
But the reason it had at one point-

308
00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:54,880
Go ahead.

309
00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:55,880
I'm sorry.

310
00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:59,560
But when I had the story, it was like two weeks ago, dude.

311
00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:00,560
Okay.

312
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:08,320
The story I read that I'm reporting on was just two days ago and it said- Basically what

313
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:14,200
it said was, you know how like whenever someone's trying to teach you to fill out a form, they

314
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,200
have like a form that you look at.

315
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:19,600
So it's like, okay, here's where someone's name goes.

316
00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:22,800
This is where the address goes, all that, right?

317
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:29,440
This ticket is a prototype ticket to teach other officers how to write out tickets correctly

318
00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:32,320
so they stand up in court.

319
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:38,640
The prototype ticket at the office that they operate on says 1.4 million in it just as

320
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:41,680
a joke, you know, just for something filled in.

321
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:46,820
They accidentally sent out a prototype ticket that said 1.4 million and that's what the

322
00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:49,840
guy got in the mail and was like, what the fuck?

323
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:52,840
And so his heart stopped for a minute and yeah.

324
00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:54,840
Does that-

325
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:55,840
Okay.

326
00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:58,840
That sounds like the same story I was reading.

327
00:15:58,840 --> 00:15:59,840
Okay.

328
00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:00,840
All right.

329
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:01,840
Yeah.

330
00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:12,840
So it's just the way they worded it, it was the way the court, there really was no price.

331
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:13,840
Okay.

332
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:21,760
It was just pretty much as someone was disturbing court and that's the price that happened to

333
00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:23,760
got printed on it.

334
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:24,760
Okay.

335
00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:25,760
That's what I read.

336
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:26,760
Okay.

337
00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:27,760
What I read was there's a prototype ticket-

338
00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:29,760
And that's not in the story now.

339
00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:31,760
Okay.

340
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:36,000
Prototype ticket and I'm pretty sure this is true.

341
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,760
Prototype ticket, they sent it in the mail accidentally.

342
00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:42,200
The guy saw 1.4 million, but then he started looking at it.

343
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:47,680
He started noticing inconsistencies like the officer name was like John Doe or something

344
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:48,680
and all this stuff.

345
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:52,920
And then he started unraveling it, but he probably had 20 minutes there where he was

346
00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:55,880
sweating fucking bullets, right?

347
00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:56,880
Yeah.

348
00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:57,880
Yeah.

349
00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:03,960
That's why the Georgia Highway Patrol gets an ass-paddling for scaring the sky to death

350
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:07,440
by some booby-headed mistake.

351
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:08,440
So-

352
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:09,440
Yeah.

353
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:15,480
Georgia Highway Patrol gets an ass-paddling from me because I had this story last Saturday

354
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:16,480
night.

355
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:17,480
I did.

356
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:18,480
I know.

357
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:19,480
I'm serious.

358
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:20,480
I was going to report on this story-

359
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:21,480
I got it right here.

360
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:22,480
I got it right down.

361
00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:23,480
Okay.

362
00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:29,680
Well, I was going to report on this story last week too, but I decided to ass-paddle

363
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:30,680
them instead.

364
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:31,680
So, okay, cool.

365
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:32,680
They get it from both sides.

366
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:33,680
All right.

367
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:34,680
Okay, next.

368
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:39,680
All of Gen Z for Diet Coke Love.

369
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:46,680
They are crazy about Diet Coke.

370
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:49,680
We are a total agreement on this too.

371
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:50,680
Yes.

372
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:53,680
They are crazy about Diet Coke.

373
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:54,680
I'm sorry.

374
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:55,680
You're getting ass-paddling.

375
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:56,680
Yeah.

376
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:59,640
There's really nothing more to say.

377
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:06,680
You're getting ass-paddling because if you love Diet Coke, you don't deserve taste buds,

378
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:07,680
right?

379
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:08,680
Right.

380
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:09,680
Okay.

381
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:10,680
Next.

382
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:16,680
All Man Bun wearers, past, present, and future.

383
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:23,240
Yes, I'm on the Man Bun thing again, and the reason is because I saw four Man Buns in a

384
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:27,040
row and, oh, I was pissed.

385
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,680
I agree.

386
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:30,680
Yep.

387
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:35,640
If you have a Man Bun, what you're basically doing is you're saying, I am not an alpha

388
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:36,640
male.

389
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,520
I will never be an alpha male.

390
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:44,800
I'll never be a threat to you or anybody who's masculine because I am not.

391
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,560
I am a beta.

392
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,400
I am a sub.

393
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:53,360
I like to suck my thumb in the corner.

394
00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:59,240
I'm pretty much just a little girl because that's why I wear a Man Bun is to signify

395
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:05,560
if it was prison rules that you could take me at any time because I wear a Man Bun.

396
00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:06,560
Right, Rob?

397
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:07,560
Oh, yeah.

398
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:10,560
My brother, my little brother used to tell you that.

399
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:11,560
He was a guard.

400
00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:12,560
Oh, yeah, yeah.

401
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:15,560
Man Bun means come and get it.

402
00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:18,920
Yeah, come and get it is what they're saying with the Man Bun.

403
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,160
They're saying, yes, I want Jizz on my face.

404
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,160
Walk off the bus, walk in here.

405
00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:24,160
Yeah.

406
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:25,160
Oh, they see the Man Bun.

407
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:26,600
They're like, I got it right there.

408
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:30,160
He loves Jizz to the face.

409
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:32,200
So all right.

410
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:35,080
So Man Bun wears past, present, and future.

411
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:36,080
All right.

412
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,160
The next one is a little bit.

413
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,160
Oh, my God.

414
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:40,160
That's something to say about that too.

415
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:41,160
Oh, yeah.

416
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:42,160
Go ahead.

417
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:51,880
If you're going to be a man and you want long hair, put in a ponytail.

418
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:52,880
Wear it loud and proud.

419
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,880
That's what me and Topher have always said.

420
00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:56,880
Wear a fucking ponytail.

421
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:59,880
Stick this shit on top of your head.

422
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:00,880
Yeah.

423
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:01,880
Yeah.

424
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:02,880
Wear it loud and proud.

425
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:08,880
Well, like I said, man, it's nothing that Aquanet and LIDAR will not solve.

426
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,880
Oh, tell me about it.

427
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:17,480
Remember when we used to light people's hair on fire?

428
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:22,160
Maybe all Aquanetted up and we throw matches at their hair and it got on fire.

429
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,160
It was a work.

430
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:24,160
It's a concert.

431
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:25,160
Oh, God.

432
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:28,160
I was in there flipping matches at one guy.

433
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,160
They had his hair.

434
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:30,160
Well, so did I.

435
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:35,560
But I mean, finally I sparked up and he's like screaming and fucking smacking his hair.

436
00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:37,560
Oh, my God.

437
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:42,160
Yeah, I don't know where I got all this nerve from.

438
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:43,160
I don't have it anymore.

439
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,160
Geez.

440
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:45,160
I don't either.

441
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,160
Beckett, I really didn't.

442
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:50,520
That was a good old day.

443
00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:53,920
You're talking about really not giving a shit.

444
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:57,480
Really not giving a shit is the best way to describe it, right?

445
00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:01,440
I take it to call it an old day.

446
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:02,440
Oh, okay.

447
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:03,440
All right.

448
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:04,440
We remember what we used to do.

449
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:09,280
Yeah, and we sit around going, yeah, no one will ever do that again.

450
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:10,280
They just ain't the same.

451
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:11,280
They ain't the same, are they?

452
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:12,280
Hell no.

453
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:13,280
We did it.

454
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:21,280
Jeb, I'm telling you what, no one, no one, no one, no one come near us.

455
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:28,320
Because anyhow, I tell you that night we picked me, you and John picked up that hitchhiker.

456
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,320
I'd forgotten all about that.

457
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:36,040
We're doing 55 on our highway, you had the door open and raked up.

458
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,080
That was hilarious.

459
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:39,080
Yep.

460
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:50,080
Here pretty soon, I'm going to retell the story about this restaurant equipment place

461
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:54,360
that I worked at for a while.

462
00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:58,600
I kept fucking with the two people, Bernie and Bubbles.

463
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:02,640
Bubbles was a big biker that kind of looked like Santa Claus.

464
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:10,240
And Bernie was this big fat older lady that sounded more masculine than Bubbles.

465
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:14,640
And they used to fuck with each other all the time.

466
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:17,880
And anyhow, I'm going to tell the story because I can't find it.

467
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:23,120
I was going to repurpose it and put it on the last podcast and I can't find it.

468
00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:26,760
But man, I did such a perfect temptation.

469
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:28,880
I have to go back through and see if I can find it.

470
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:32,600
I did a perfect imitation of each one of their voices.

471
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:36,720
And I used to like say the worst shit to each one of them.

472
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,400
And they thought it was the other person.

473
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:39,400
They'd always be in a fight.

474
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:46,000
I remember one time I told them live chickens got out of a fucking, out of a truck and a

475
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,160
forklift smashed like five of them.

476
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:50,160
They're like dead on the floor.

477
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:51,160
Oh man.

478
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:57,840
And then I was giving away toasters to the fucking truck drivers.

479
00:22:57,840 --> 00:22:58,840
Yeah, yeah.

480
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:02,600
You did a ring toss still.

481
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:06,480
But I'll go into all of that probably next podcast.

482
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:12,280
But yeah, anyhow, I was trying to find that story desperately.

483
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:14,720
And anyhow, I think I'm just going to have to retell it.

484
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:16,840
Just kind of like the mad shit or I don't know where it's at.

485
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:18,600
So I'll retell it.

486
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:23,360
I have the big on ball biter and babble snatch and some other stories.

487
00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:26,000
Oh, the phone prank, so that stuff.

488
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:30,840
But I mean, that's one that I've been not been able to locate that I need to locate.

489
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:33,840
But if I don't, I'll just retell it.

490
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:36,600
So back to the ass paddlings.

491
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:44,480
All farm owners that are selling to out of country buyers, they get an ass paddling.

492
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:48,440
A big one.

493
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:57,160
I tell you what, it is scary when you look at all the people or all the people with huge

494
00:23:57,160 --> 00:24:03,960
farms that are selling to China or other places, fucking Russia even.

495
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:09,360
I mean, I think that that should be illegal.

496
00:24:09,360 --> 00:24:13,040
So anyhow, a little serious.

497
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:22,480
Well, we are not allowed to go there, so I'm not going to go there.

498
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:27,520
Well, I'm staying on my political position on this show.

499
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:29,560
We're here to be fun.

500
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:32,360
To me, it's neither liberal or conservative.

501
00:24:32,360 --> 00:24:37,420
I think it's a common sense deal that I think most people can agree with.

502
00:24:37,420 --> 00:24:39,640
So that's why I went with it.

503
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:40,640
So we'll move right along from that.

504
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:45,640
Well, I understand that, I'm just saying I'm not going there.

505
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:46,640
Okay, that's fine.

506
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:51,880
Because I have my thoughts, a lot of people have the same thoughts.

507
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:52,880
Other people don't.

508
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:53,880
Okay, all right.

509
00:24:53,880 --> 00:25:00,040
All credit cards with a ridiculous 4% fees on top of double-digit interest.

510
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:06,960
These fuckers get double-digit interest 23%, 28%, and then they charge you a 4% fee for

511
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:09,000
fucking using it.

512
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:14,640
They are robbing their fleecing people.

513
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:16,600
So fuck them.

514
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:22,160
Anyhow, all these credit card covers can go straight to hell as far as I'm concerned.

515
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:25,520
Flush them in a fucking toilet.

516
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:27,920
The next one and the final one.

517
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:35,560
Coca-Cola CEO James Quinney for bragging about preparing for a low-calorie future ahead

518
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:43,320
of time because he's talking about Ozempic and all that and how Ozempic users don't,

519
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:46,840
you know, it's kind of a diabetes weight loss drug.

520
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:48,840
Is he on that dumb, too?

521
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:50,400
Okay, no, no, no, no, no.

522
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:56,560
What he's saying is, he said that everyone's on a diet with Ozempic right now and that

523
00:25:56,560 --> 00:26:01,800
they came out with the perfect formula for diet drinks ahead of the curve.

524
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:09,160
He's talking about Coke Zero and Diet Coke and I say he gets an ass-paddling, again,

525
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:14,680
Diet Coke, one of the worst things ever made to man and he's bragging on it.

526
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:19,440
Yeah, he gets an ass-paddling and he might go in the Hall of Fame.

527
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:20,840
I haven't made up my mind yet.

528
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:25,040
You and I will talk off air about whether putting him in the Hall of Fame for that.

529
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,000
He probably does deserve it.

530
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,000
Okay.

531
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:32,280
Very well, very well, yeah, let's discuss that.

532
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:36,560
Let's come right back, Rob, and I think you had a story you want to get to, maybe?

533
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:41,640
Yeah, I got a murder songwriter, but there's a different one for you.

534
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:44,600
Okay, we'll be right back in a couple of minutes.

535
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:45,600
Hang on.

536
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:52,600
May, your mother called you during every orgasm.

537
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:55,920
Ha ha ha ha.

538
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:59,200
A constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper.

539
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,320
It's strange insults from an alien.

540
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:03,320
Real hilarity.

541
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:08,680
May, you forever feel yourself vibrating in the pocket that's not even in your...

542
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:11,680
Next up, things overheard in hell.

543
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:21,400
Joe Buck and Troy Aitman are doing all televised and radio games of the NFL this year.

544
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,280
Two douchebags and a microphone.

545
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:27,440
The number one show for people that lie about their favorite podcast.

546
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:38,080
If a 10 pound bag of shit could talk, this is what it would sound like.

547
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:44,880
Two douchebags and a microphone.

548
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:45,880
I'm Mark.

549
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:47,880
And I'm Rob.

550
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:57,320
Rob, will you look at you in anticipation, our greedy little ears want to hear your words.

551
00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:03,880
Okay, well, I'm gonna do something we ain't done before, Mark.

552
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:04,880
Oh shit.

553
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:06,880
At least you and me.

554
00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:07,880
Butt fuck?

555
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:12,880
I'm gonna talk about country songs.

556
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:15,880
Oh, oh, oh, okay.

557
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:20,880
Die rock and roll, country.

558
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:21,880
Okay.

559
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:24,880
All right, that's cool.

560
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:26,720
I like country.

561
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:28,720
I mean, especially old.

562
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:30,880
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

563
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:34,880
Especially these ones I'm about to bring up, you'll know.

564
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:35,880
Okay.

565
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:40,000
But no, it's like I've been talking about.

566
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:43,000
I'm kind of liking this americansongwriter.com.

567
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:46,280
It's my favorite segment you do now.

568
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:49,320
It took the place of old west hygiene.

569
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:51,840
I like it better than that and I love old west hygiene.

570
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:56,840
No, no, I still have a few more, but I mean, stuff everybody knows.

571
00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:59,840
But I don't know, I might have a couple of gunning, we'll see.

572
00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:00,840
Okay, all right.

573
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:05,840
But no, there's some we do not talk about on it so far.

574
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:06,840
Okay.

575
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:07,840
Country songs.

576
00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:09,560
Rob, Brad, the floor is yours.

577
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:10,560
I want to hear this.

578
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:26,600
According to americansongwriter.com, the four best country songs were spoken in a lute.

579
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:27,600
I love that concept.

580
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:28,600
You know what I'm saying?

581
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:29,600
Yes.

582
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:30,600
Yeah.

583
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:31,600
You know, talking through it.

584
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:32,600
Yes.

585
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:33,600
Okay.

586
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:36,600
Well, number one, for example.

587
00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:37,600
Okay.

588
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:41,320
Which everybody knows is going to be on it.

589
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:43,320
The Devil's Down Georgia.

590
00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:44,320
Yeah.

591
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:45,320
Yeah.

592
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:46,320
Yep.

593
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:47,320
Classic.

594
00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:50,320
Everybody knows that one's one of those.

595
00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:51,320
Classic.

596
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:52,320
Classic.

597
00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:56,080
Second one, Boy Named Sue.

598
00:29:56,080 --> 00:30:00,080
Another classic.

599
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:02,080
Cool.

600
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:06,840
Number three.

601
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:11,360
Convoy by CW McCall.

602
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:13,360
These are brilliant, dude.

603
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:14,360
Yeah.

604
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:17,080
Well, that's what they came up with.

605
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:18,520
I could still listen to Convoy.

606
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:20,800
Well, I could listen to any one of them, actually.

607
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:21,800
Any one of them.

608
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:25,520
No, I love Convoy because they talk about the duck.

609
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:26,520
Yep.

610
00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:29,360
The main dude is rubber duck.

611
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:32,200
My nickname is duck.

612
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:37,320
That's when the whole trucking thing was so glamorous to kids.

613
00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:40,320
Everybody wanted to be a truck driver, getting their fucking Mac or their Peterbilt.

614
00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:41,320
Yeah.

615
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:42,320
Well, it was a thing back then.

616
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:43,320
We didn't have technology like we had.

617
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:44,320
No, no, no.

618
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:47,320
Everyone was like trying to get their Peterbilt or something.

619
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:48,320
Yep.

620
00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:49,320
Yeah.

621
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:50,320
And we all played on our dad's CBs.

622
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:51,320
Oh, yeah.

623
00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:58,320
Well, I used to piss people off with a two-way radio that would pick up CBs and then they

624
00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:03,320
would interfere with them.

625
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:08,000
And anyhow, me and Davey used to fuck with the truckers so bad.

626
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,000
Yeah.

627
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:10,000
Oh, dude.

628
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:11,000
Oh, yeah.

629
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:12,000
I mean, yeah.

630
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:13,000
Okay.

631
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:14,000
Yeah.

632
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:17,960
Number four, final on this list.

633
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:21,800
One of my all-time favorite songs.

634
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:23,160
Okay.

635
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:28,040
The Ride by David Allen Coe.

636
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:29,040
Perfect.

637
00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:30,040
Okay.

638
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:33,400
Anyone that doesn't know that, listen to it.

639
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:34,400
Go to YouTube.

640
00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:35,400
Talking in a loop.

641
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:36,400
Oh, dude.

642
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:37,400
Oh, my God.

643
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:38,400
Go do it.

644
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:43,880
I challenge you to go do it after the podcast.

645
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:46,840
You know, I've got a story that you're reminding me of.

646
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:47,840
Are you done with this?

647
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:48,840
Yeah.

648
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:49,840
Yeah.

649
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:50,840
That was four.

650
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:51,840
Yeah, that's all I have.

651
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:52,840
Go on.

652
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:53,840
Okay.

653
00:31:53,840 --> 00:32:00,640
Davey went down to Truman Lake in his stepdad's truck, which had a CB.

654
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:01,800
Okay.

655
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:06,840
I tried calling him a while ago when he didn't answer.

656
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:09,840
Yeah, I know.

657
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:13,720
I'm going to figure out three-way calling here soon.

658
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:14,720
I'm going to have a little time off.

659
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:18,680
I was calling my messenger because I don't have his phone number.

660
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:20,000
Okay.

661
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:26,120
I'm going to try to get a hold of him and see if he'll take a three-way call from us.

662
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:27,120
That would be so cool.

663
00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:30,120
Dude, I'd love to talk to you.

664
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:32,640
I miss Davey, man.

665
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:39,920
Let me tell you, as entertaining as we are or as entertaining as I think I am or whatever,

666
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:43,320
Davey trumps everything.

667
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:51,160
That guy probably has 300 voices that he can just do in a split second just out of his

668
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:52,160
head.

669
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:53,960
He's so good at it.

670
00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:57,560
He probably remembers a lot more stories than we do.

671
00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:58,560
Depends.

672
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:00,000
I've talked to him about it.

673
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:03,040
I remember certain stories and he remembers certain stories.

674
00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:05,240
It's just the way it is.

675
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:08,520
I guess it depends on what we were doing that day and where we were at.

676
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:09,520
I don't know.

677
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:14,440
I told him about a story the other day and he's like, I don't remember that.

678
00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:16,040
I'm like, yeah, that happened.

679
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:17,040
Really?

680
00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:18,040
Yeah.

681
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:19,040
He told me about one.

682
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:21,040
I'm like, are you sure?

683
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:22,800
He goes, yeah, you're the one that was there.

684
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:23,800
I'm like, oh, okay.

685
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:26,800
That's kind of like me and you.

686
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:27,800
Yeah.

687
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:28,800
Yeah.

688
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:34,600
You really need a couple other people that were there because they're the ones that kept

689
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:35,600
note with all our evilness.

690
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:37,600
They're the ones that like going, oh, shit.

691
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:40,360
There's probably like four or five.

692
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:41,360
Yeah.

693
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:42,360
Okay.

694
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:50,920
Me and Davey were in Roger's, his stepdad's truck, his big Ford truck.

695
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:51,920
We're coming back.

696
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:52,920
We went to Truman Lake.

697
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:53,920
We're coming back.

698
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:57,880
Also, we hear someone get on a CB.

699
00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:00,840
He turns it on just for the hell of it.

700
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:04,480
Someone's on there talking about, I don't know, 7 Highway being a mess or some shit.

701
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:06,480
We're on 7 Highway.

702
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:09,680
So Davey just starts going off on him.

703
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:13,280
Davey starts going, hey, you fucking cow fucker.

704
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:14,920
You fucking piece of shit.

705
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:17,960
I'm going to come over there and I'm going to smack you in the face with my dick, boy.

706
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:21,280
Is there any damn thing you're going to do about it except eat it?

707
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:23,440
And all this shit just going off on him.

708
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:24,800
And this guy's getting fucking mad.

709
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:26,440
He's like, oh yeah.

710
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:27,440
Oh yeah, motherfucker.

711
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:28,440
I'll come get you.

712
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:30,120
Davey said, you can't get me.

713
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:31,120
You fucking redneck.

714
00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:32,120
I'll fuck.

715
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:33,120
I'll slap a stupid at you.

716
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:38,120
Davey just fucking railing up one side down another and started making fun of his mom,

717
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,200
started making fun of his sister, all that shit.

718
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:42,760
The guy's fucking getting in the way.

719
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:43,760
I can imagine, Davey.

720
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:44,760
I can imagine, Davey.

721
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:48,040
And then all of a sudden someone goes, I got a handle on him.

722
00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:49,040
I got him.

723
00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:51,520
They're right in front of us in a blue truck.

724
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:54,520
We look back and there's this fucking big Peterbilt behind us.

725
00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:56,520
And we're like, oh fuck.

726
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:59,160
And he's like coming up on our bumper and shit.

727
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:02,160
And Davey's like, I'm going to go faster.

728
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:06,120
And he goes, no, he knew it was.

729
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:10,440
They have a way to tell.

730
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:12,600
I mean, maybe how strong the signal is.

731
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:13,600
I don't know.

732
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:15,560
Oh, he probably saw the antenna for one.

733
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:17,120
He saw the CB antenna.

734
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:21,080
He saw a couple of long hairs in there fucking laughing.

735
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:22,880
He's like, there they are.

736
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:23,880
And we did the rest.

737
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:26,240
We're like, oh shit.

738
00:35:26,240 --> 00:35:29,760
So anyhow, we finally lost him on a hill on 7 Highway.

739
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:32,920
When you get near Garden City, they have a couple of hills that go up.

740
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:35,480
We went up those hills and he slowed down.

741
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:38,080
And anyhow, we just got the fuck out of there.

742
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:41,760
We got on Interstate, well it wasn't 49 at the time.

743
00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:43,440
It was still 71 Highway.

744
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:44,840
We got on that hill on 2 Highway.

745
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:48,240
Just hit a gravel road off there.

746
00:35:48,240 --> 00:35:52,880
I think what he did was he went on the gravel road back behind there that goes to Harrisonville

747
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:53,880
from Garden City.

748
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:54,880
Yeah.

749
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:55,880
Yeah.

750
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:56,880
I know.

751
00:35:56,880 --> 00:36:01,040
So yeah, I said 71 Highway, but actually I think you're right.

752
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:02,040
I think I remember that.

753
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:05,520
I think I remember when we fucking shook him on the hill.

754
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:09,320
He went up the Garden City exit and went down one of the side roads, which the truck couldn't

755
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:10,320
get on.

756
00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:11,320
Yeah.

757
00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:14,680
So anyhow, yeah.

758
00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:19,000
It was pretty freaky because we had no idea they could tell who we were until they come

759
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:20,000
up on it.

760
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:22,640
Well, the highway was a little different back then.

761
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:23,640
Yes.

762
00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:27,280
Yeah, you had the two hills that went up right at Garden City.

763
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:29,480
Everybody's building these days.

764
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:30,760
You got different ramps.

765
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:35,240
Well, 7 Highway's pretty flat through there now and it's all 4 lane highways.

766
00:36:35,240 --> 00:36:36,240
Yeah.

767
00:36:36,240 --> 00:36:38,080
It pretty much always has been.

768
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:41,720
Well, you had that couple of hills near Garden City.

769
00:36:41,720 --> 00:36:42,720
I don't think they're there anymore.

770
00:36:42,720 --> 00:36:45,120
They flatten them out, but those hills are what saved us.

771
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:46,920
I know exactly what hills you're talking about.

772
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:51,760
Yeah, they saved us because on that hill that allowed that truck, who was fully loaded I

773
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:55,120
believe, to slow down and us to speed up.

774
00:36:55,120 --> 00:37:01,440
So anyhow, we thought we were going to get ran over by a Peterbilt that day.

775
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:04,040
Did that stop us?

776
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:05,040
Hell no.

777
00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:07,280
I think we mowed off more to truckers after that.

778
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:09,280
Once we learned we could bisque.

779
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:10,280
Always.

780
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:11,280
Always.

781
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:12,280
I did.

782
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:13,280
Yep.

783
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:19,160
I think, yeah, I think when you're a bored kid, bored teenager, that's what you do.

784
00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:27,800
I sat out in front of my mom and dad's house on my dad's CD and mowed off to truckers.

785
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:30,800
Did they ever figure out who you were though, like us?

786
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:32,800
No, no.

787
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:37,400
No, I was sitting out in front of the house, dude.

788
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:39,000
I wasn't moving.

789
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:45,240
I remember I was fucking with this trucker one time and I kept going, raise her back,

790
00:37:45,240 --> 00:37:49,080
raise her back, pick up, raise her back, pick up.

791
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:51,800
Raise her back, because I heard some guy called raise her back.

792
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:54,880
He was going to Arkansas and that was his handle.

793
00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:57,920
So I'm like, all right, I'm going to steal his handle.

794
00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:02,620
So that night I get on there and I think I was going, raise her back.

795
00:38:02,620 --> 00:38:03,620
This is raise her back.

796
00:38:03,620 --> 00:38:04,620
Someone pick up.

797
00:38:04,620 --> 00:38:05,620
Emergency.

798
00:38:05,620 --> 00:38:07,200
This is raise her back.

799
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:09,960
And the guy picks up, hey, what do you want?

800
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:12,520
And I said, hey, are you the one that keeps calling me?

801
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:13,520
No.

802
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:14,520
Oh, it must be your mom.

803
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:15,520
Oh man.

804
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:17,600
I mean, and then it's off from there.

805
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:19,840
It's like, you know, fuck you.

806
00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:20,840
You got a little dick.

807
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:21,840
Yep.

808
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:22,840
Yep.

809
00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:26,320
And just, you know, pissing people off, just like mouthing off at them.

810
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:31,040
And I just kept fucking gouging him with all these insults.

811
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:34,400
And anyhow, other truckers are getting on.

812
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:35,400
We're going to come get you.

813
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:36,400
Oh yeah.

814
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:37,400
And all this shit.

815
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:43,600
So anyhow, and that was the one that we done stationary from his garage.

816
00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:47,060
The one in the garage, you could only pick them up so far out.

817
00:38:47,060 --> 00:38:48,340
You couldn't pick up 71.

818
00:38:48,340 --> 00:38:52,200
That was too far away, but you could pick them up over there on Holmes road and they'd

819
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:53,960
have no idea where you were.

820
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:57,040
So anyhow, I lived in Belton.

821
00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:59,040
I was right off 71.

822
00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:00,040
Oh, okay.

823
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:02,360
Then you could talk to anybody.

824
00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:06,280
I was known as the whistling bandit.

825
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:07,280
Really?

826
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:10,280
No, what I would do is I would drop.

827
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,760
I was like 12, 13 years old.

828
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:22,920
I'd go out to my dad's truck and just start whistling on the mic.

829
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:27,720
And all the truckers started talking about the whistling bandit.

830
00:39:27,720 --> 00:39:29,720
And you were the whistling bandit?

831
00:39:29,720 --> 00:39:30,720
Yeah.

832
00:39:30,720 --> 00:39:36,240
I mean, that's what I just make a whistle.

833
00:39:36,240 --> 00:39:39,000
You see, I mean, I wish I would have done.

834
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:40,920
And that's all I would say.

835
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:42,920
I just whistled.

836
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:43,920
Okay.

837
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:48,920
I made a name for myself when I was a kid, man.

838
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:49,920
Oh, wow.

839
00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:50,920
This actually...

840
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:53,920
And nobody knows it.

841
00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:54,920
Nobody knows it.

842
00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:55,920
They do now?

843
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:58,920
I actually had people talking about me.

844
00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:00,920
That's fucking awesome.

845
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,920
People asking if I'm on air.

846
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:04,920
Wow.

847
00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:06,920
Yeah, it was cool.

848
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:08,920
I loved it.

849
00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:10,920
I loved it, dude.

850
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:11,920
Cool?

851
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:16,920
Anyway, where are we going with this show?

852
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:17,920
Do you have any clue?

853
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:18,920
No, I don't either.

854
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:21,920
We're just bullshitting pretty much.

855
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:23,920
I did ask Padlands.

856
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:26,920
Yeah, are you done with Ask Padlands?

857
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:27,920
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

858
00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:34,920
Because it parlayed into fucking with people on 7 Highway, fucking with truckers on 7 Highway.

859
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:36,920
Oh, dude, dude, dude.

860
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:39,920
Yeah, that's a long history there.

861
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:42,920
Yeah, let's stop there.

862
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:45,920
All right.

863
00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:50,920
You know Gen Z, they have some top five work trends, right?

864
00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:52,920
Yes, yes, yes.

865
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,920
Okay.

866
00:40:55,920 --> 00:41:03,920
Gen Z are starting off new workplace trends on TikTok from Bare Minimum Mondays to Lazy

867
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:04,920
Girl jobs.

868
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:11,920
They become disenchanted with work life as companies lay off staff and abandon remote

869
00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:16,920
working, which a lot of them have abandoned remote working because they don't get as much

870
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:17,920
productivity out of the person.

871
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:19,920
They want them in the office.

872
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:24,920
So, a lot of Gen Z workers are very discouraged because they got very comfy at home and they're

873
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,920
not happy.

874
00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:35,920
Instead, young workers are putting their well-being and happiness over being the perfect employee.

875
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:41,920
And believe me, like I've said before and I've mentioned many times, my old job, the

876
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:45,920
ones that I always make fun of and have a little ha-ha on their back.

877
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:47,920
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

878
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:51,920
Well, that's a perfect lesson, I think, right there that teaches anybody.

879
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:55,920
You're expendable if it comes to their wallet.

880
00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:58,920
And everybody knows this.

881
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:01,920
They value their monetary over you.

882
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:04,920
And I'm not saying it's right or wrong.

883
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:06,920
It's business, I know.

884
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:08,920
Is it shitty and dirty?

885
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:09,920
Probably.

886
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:12,920
Are you going to find your way to heaven with that?

887
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:13,920
Probably not.

888
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:14,920
Probably not.

889
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:15,920
Yeah.

890
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:18,920
So, the deal is, is this right here.

891
00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:23,920
And, you know, I barely mentioned, I hardly ever mention my old work anymore.

892
00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:29,920
And the reason is, is because I landed on my feet so well and I'm doing so much better

893
00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:31,920
that it's just obsolete.

894
00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:33,920
I don't need to say anything.

895
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:37,920
You know, they're going to keep counting their money in the corner and I'm going to keep

896
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:38,920
being happy.

897
00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:40,920
So, but we're...

898
00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:41,920
Can I say...

899
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:42,920
Yes.

900
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:44,920
Three little words?

901
00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:45,920
Yeah.

902
00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:49,920
Oh no, excuse me, four little words.

903
00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:51,920
Not if you bundle them.

904
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:53,920
It ain't worth it.

905
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:54,920
Oh, okay.

906
00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:55,920
No, you're right.

907
00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:56,920
It ain't worth it.

908
00:42:56,920 --> 00:42:57,920
No, I'm going on.

909
00:42:57,920 --> 00:42:58,920
I wasn't going to go off.

910
00:42:58,920 --> 00:42:59,920
I know you are.

911
00:42:59,920 --> 00:43:03,920
I know exactly what you're saying, bro.

912
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:04,920
Yeah, no, no, no.

913
00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:09,920
I was mentioning it because this actually pertains to the article.

914
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:13,920
Gen Z workers are shaking up a professional world with new ways of finding success and

915
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:14,920
happiness.

916
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:17,920
I'm going to do a job like you and jobs.

917
00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:18,920
Yeah.

918
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:26,920
Job cuts became a regular in 2023 with huge firms laying off such as Meta, JP Morgan, Twitter,

919
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:27,920
et cetera.

920
00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:34,920
Does is a company that's going to revise their remote work policies and they reversed them

921
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:38,920
and made people start coming back into the office.

922
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:44,920
Gen Z workers have witnessed their elder get ate up with a... going all out for a company

923
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:49,920
that doesn't give one ounce of shit about you and this goes back to what I said earlier.

924
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:52,920
Gen Zers are not work first.

925
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:55,920
These five trends this year are this.

926
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:58,920
One, lazy girl jobs.

927
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:04,920
This has taken a minimal job that is flexible for schedules such as childcare or other commitments.

928
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:08,920
You know you're never going to get rich on this job.

929
00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:14,920
Though you're even, you know, it's a subpar job, but it bends and flexes with you so you

930
00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:15,920
take it.

931
00:44:15,920 --> 00:44:17,920
It's called a lazy girl job.

932
00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:20,920
So I get it.

933
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:24,920
Number two, snail girl era.

934
00:44:24,920 --> 00:44:29,920
The snail girl era is the latest example of life over work priority.

935
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:36,920
It refers to women who are slowing down and prioritizing self care and happiness over

936
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:39,920
endlessly chasing success.

937
00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:42,920
Yes.

938
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:46,920
I mean all of these I agree with do you?

939
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:49,920
Yeah, yeah, I do.

940
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:51,920
Yeah, I mean really.

941
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:54,920
Bare minimum Mondays is number three.

942
00:44:54,920 --> 00:45:00,920
This is the art of taking on the least amount of work possible to minimize stress.

943
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:02,920
This will help with the whole week.

944
00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:03,920
I love that.

945
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:08,920
So they are pacing themselves for a week.

946
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:10,920
So they do very little Mondays.

947
00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:14,920
That way they can handle more stress later on in the week.

948
00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:16,920
Sure.

949
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:18,920
Okay.

950
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:20,920
Sounds good to me.

951
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:22,920
What about you?

952
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:24,920
Yeah, sounds good.

953
00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:25,920
Alright.

954
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:28,920
Number four, managing up.

955
00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:33,920
This is an age old hack that recently gained popularity with Gen Z's.

956
00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:41,920
Andy Malinsky, a professional of organizations behavior, previously told Insider that the

957
00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:47,920
strategy is about managing the relationship that you have with your boss to make the job

958
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:49,920
suit your needs.

959
00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:50,920
And this is true.

960
00:45:50,920 --> 00:45:52,920
I've done this before.

961
00:45:52,920 --> 00:46:01,920
You become everything that that boss wants and they will make sure that that is the job

962
00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:06,920
that you're going to be at for a long time by doing things to make them suit you.

963
00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:07,920
It does work.

964
00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:09,920
Tell me about it.

965
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:10,920
Yeah, I know you know.

966
00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:13,920
Like if you quit that place.

967
00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:16,920
Stop.

968
00:46:16,920 --> 00:46:18,920
Stop?

969
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:19,920
Okay.

970
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:20,920
Stop.

971
00:46:20,920 --> 00:46:30,920
The hashtag Bored at Work is more prevalent now than it has an official title.

972
00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:32,920
It's hashtag Bored out.

973
00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:38,920
This is an indicator of people that went for money instead of happiness and find themselves

974
00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:42,920
in a burnout situation.

975
00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:45,920
So that is the top five.

976
00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:58,920
Now Gen Z has a weird way of doing things and a weird way of expressing themselves but

977
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:07,920
I honestly, honestly really see where they're coming from on a lot of different avenues.

978
00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:12,920
So I mean I kind of respect a lot of their thought especially on working and how you

979
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:15,920
handle yourself towards it.

980
00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:16,920
So anyhow.

981
00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:17,920
Okay, okay.

982
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:20,920
Well here I got a Gen Z story for you.

983
00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:21,920
Okay, go ahead.

984
00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:22,920
Since you put it out.

985
00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:23,920
All righty.

986
00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:24,920
Okay.

987
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:32,920
I got this one like yeah it was a while ago.

988
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:33,920
It's one I've been storing.

989
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:34,920
Okay.

990
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:37,920
But then I ran across it again.

991
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:47,920
BJ ANC went viral with a video showing off a plot of land he bought in Joshua Creek,

992
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:48,920
California.

993
00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:49,920
Okay.

994
00:47:49,920 --> 00:48:01,920
It costed $200 and with materials to build on it, the project totaled under $1000.

995
00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:02,920
Uh-huh.

996
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:17,920
The 21-year-old from Los Angeles went viral on TikTok telling how he bought a small house

997
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:18,920
in the area.

998
00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:19,920
Rob, hang on, hang on.

999
00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:22,920
You're not sounding very good on the.

1000
00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:24,920
My voice is giving out.

1001
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:25,920
Is that what it is?

1002
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:26,920
Yeah, yeah.

1003
00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:27,920
My voice is crackling.

1004
00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:28,920
Oh shit.

1005
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:29,920
Okay.

1006
00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:33,920
It's sounding really muffled, I don't think it's going to come out that good.

1007
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:36,920
Let's drop that and give it up.

1008
00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:39,920
Yeah, my voice is starting to give out.

1009
00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:40,920
Okay.

1010
00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:41,920
So you want to call it a podcast?

1011
00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:42,920
Yeah.

1012
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:43,920
Okay.

1013
00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:44,920
All right, everybody, thank you for listening.

1014
00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:46,920
I know, I've got a rehearsal tomorrow night.

1015
00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:47,920
All right.

1016
00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:51,920
I might just come back with a solo deal and tell my restaurant.

1017
00:48:51,920 --> 00:48:55,920
No, I'm going to do that with you.

1018
00:48:55,920 --> 00:48:56,920
Anyhow.

1019
00:48:56,920 --> 00:49:00,920
I'll throw something on the end of this to make it a normal sized podcast.

1020
00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:02,920
So we'll have some sort of blast.

1021
00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:04,920
Yeah, we fall off of it.

1022
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:05,920
Okay.

1023
00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:06,920
All right.

1024
00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:07,920
Thank you guys for listening.

1025
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:08,920
Have a good night.

1026
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:09,920
Although you're here.

1027
00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:10,920
Good night.

1028
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:21,920
Oh, Lord, that man just saw a puppy in half.

1029
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:22,920
Hey there.

1030
00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:23,920
Don't worry.

1031
00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:27,920
I have a clown nose.

1032
00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:30,920
Oh, no.

1033
00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:32,920
That drunk guy just hit my child.

1034
00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:34,920
It is okay.

1035
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:37,920
I have a clown nose.

1036
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:38,920
Clown nose.

1037
00:49:38,920 --> 00:49:40,920
Just put one on and you can do anything.

1038
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:42,920
Want to run for office?

1039
00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:44,920
Murder people in public?

1040
00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:48,920
Just grab a clown nose and bam, everyone laughs.

1041
00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:50,920
Clown noses are sold at gag stores online and pedophile conventions.

1042
00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:53,920
Grab one today and make magic happen.

1043
00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:54,920
I smell bacon.

1044
00:49:54,920 --> 00:49:55,920
No, wait.

1045
00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:58,920
It's just Mark's wedding.

1046
00:49:58,920 --> 00:49:59,920
Coming up.

1047
00:49:59,920 --> 00:50:00,920
The blast.

1048
00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:03,920
From the past.

1049
00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:08,920
This is where we take old shows and incorporate them into new shows.

1050
00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:14,920
Because you fucks refuse to go get it.

1051
00:50:14,920 --> 00:50:19,920
Well, you know, I got a neat little story here about a little prank that me and Davey,

1052
00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:24,920
my friend that I refer to often, played in the old Bannister Mall.

1053
00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:25,920
Remember that?

1054
00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:26,920
Oh, yeah.

1055
00:50:26,920 --> 00:50:29,920
Boy, that was an area for a lot of fucking fun.

1056
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:31,920
We used to get away with murder at that place.

1057
00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:33,920
We had done the stupidest shit.

1058
00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:40,920
There was a security guard, a little short little fucker, a little dumpy little guy named Sam.

1059
00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:42,920
And he hated us long hair.

1060
00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:45,920
We were in there getting all the chicks and he didn't fucking like it.

1061
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:50,920
Sam used to always try to get me kicked out and Davey too, but more me.

1062
00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:52,920
He really hated me for some reason.

1063
00:50:52,920 --> 00:50:54,920
So he'd always screw with me.

1064
00:50:54,920 --> 00:50:57,920
He got me kicked out for about two weeks.

1065
00:50:57,920 --> 00:51:00,920
Then we went to court and then the judge said you can't kick him out.

1066
00:51:00,920 --> 00:51:02,920
It's a public mall.

1067
00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:08,920
So anyhow, you know, one of the biggest ways to sell the hoax is to,

1068
00:51:08,920 --> 00:51:13,920
we found this out, was to have a setup guy that no one knew.

1069
00:51:13,920 --> 00:51:16,920
Just a guy to confirm what you're saying.

1070
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:17,920
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1071
00:51:17,920 --> 00:51:19,920
I did see that monkey over there.

1072
00:51:19,920 --> 00:51:20,920
Yeah.

1073
00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:23,920
Last I saw him, he was on top of that building and he was throwing shit at somebody.

1074
00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:25,920
The random witness you see disappears.

1075
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:26,920
Yes.

1076
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:27,920
Yes.

1077
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:34,920
So this guy, okay, this is Bannister Mall, early 1980s.

1078
00:51:34,920 --> 00:51:37,920
Me and my good buddy Davey were hanging out.

1079
00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:42,920
And we were crazy long hairs that, you know, the average teen would follow, you know,

1080
00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:46,920
because we're long hairs and, you know, we're kind of like the Pied Piper of teens.

1081
00:51:46,920 --> 00:51:47,920
Yeah.

1082
00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:50,920
People would like, used to look at us and go, well, there's the party.

1083
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:52,920
Let's just follow them around until they go to it.

1084
00:51:52,920 --> 00:51:53,920
I've done that?

1085
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:54,920
Yeah.

1086
00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:56,920
They used to do it all the time.

1087
00:51:56,920 --> 00:51:57,920
We'd be like, where are you guys going?

1088
00:51:57,920 --> 00:51:58,920
Cleveland, Ohio?

1089
00:51:58,920 --> 00:51:59,920
No, Missouri.

1090
00:51:59,920 --> 00:52:02,920
That guy looks like he might have beer.

1091
00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:03,920
Yeah.

1092
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:04,920
Yeah.

1093
00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:05,920
Yeah.

1094
00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:06,920
So they'd just start following us and that's just the way we were.

1095
00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:11,920
And then we'd all introduce, hey, hey, I'm so and so, I'm so and so, you know.

1096
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:14,920
And we'd have a good time Cleveland Lake or something.

1097
00:52:14,920 --> 00:52:15,920
Yeah.

1098
00:52:15,920 --> 00:52:17,920
You know, slamming beers, doing stupid shit.

1099
00:52:17,920 --> 00:52:22,920
So Davey and I had certain buddies that would walk up and hear the bullshit that was you

1100
00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:24,920
in and then help seal the deal.

1101
00:52:24,920 --> 00:52:26,920
You know, they'd sell it completely.

1102
00:52:26,920 --> 00:52:31,920
You know, one guy that walked around to help us was a punker named Jason.

1103
00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:36,920
Jason was really cool because he looked like the type of guy that wouldn't like us.

1104
00:52:36,920 --> 00:52:39,920
But we got to talking to him.

1105
00:52:39,920 --> 00:52:42,920
And we saw eye to eye on everything except music.

1106
00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:45,920
Everything else, we were the same, you know.

1107
00:52:45,920 --> 00:52:46,920
Fuck society.

1108
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:47,920
Fuck the average guy.

1109
00:52:47,920 --> 00:52:48,920
Fuck this.

1110
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:49,920
Fuck that.

1111
00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:53,920
But when it came to music, you know, we're like fucking listening to Motley Crue and

1112
00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:54,920
shit like that.

1113
00:52:54,920 --> 00:53:01,920
And he was listening to, I don't know, the Ramones or even deeper than that, you know,

1114
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:03,920
Dead Kennedys, the Germs.

1115
00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:04,920
Television.

1116
00:53:04,920 --> 00:53:05,920
Yeah.

1117
00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:06,920
Yeah.

1118
00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:08,920
He was a real punker.

1119
00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:09,920
A good one.

1120
00:53:09,920 --> 00:53:10,920
Yeah.

1121
00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:13,920
He had an orange mohawk.

1122
00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:14,920
Sweet.

1123
00:53:14,920 --> 00:53:16,920
Or a black spiked leather.

1124
00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:18,920
And Doc Martens.

1125
00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:22,920
So, I mean, you know, you got the guy, right?

1126
00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:24,920
You know who I'm talking about.

1127
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:26,920
So, great guy though.

1128
00:53:26,920 --> 00:53:28,920
I'd love to know what happened to him.

1129
00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:33,920
So, Jason, if you happen to hear this abortion, please, oh, I guess that's a bad word now,

1130
00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:34,920
isn't it?

1131
00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:35,920
Oh.

1132
00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:36,920
This atrocity.

1133
00:53:36,920 --> 00:53:37,920
There we go.

1134
00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:42,920
If you happen to hear this horrible atrocity, then, you know, hey, send us an email.

1135
00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:43,920
Yeah.

1136
00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:45,920
I forgot what the valid email is.

1137
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:48,920
We put so many bullshit ones out there.

1138
00:53:48,920 --> 00:53:50,920
We can't remember our real place.

1139
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:54,920
There is a valid one and I can't remember what the hell it is.

1140
00:53:54,920 --> 00:53:58,920
We also have an actual real phone number.

1141
00:53:58,920 --> 00:54:00,920
Hell if I know that one either.

1142
00:54:00,920 --> 00:54:01,920
Yeah.

1143
00:54:01,920 --> 00:54:03,920
So, I can't even remember the real one.

1144
00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:06,920
So, show prep.

1145
00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:07,920
Yeah.

1146
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:13,920
Here I was talking about show prep and making a big deal out of it and I can't even remember

1147
00:54:13,920 --> 00:54:14,920
our email.

1148
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:20,920
So, anyhow, meanwhile, there's this one security guard named Sam that I kind of alluded to

1149
00:54:20,920 --> 00:54:22,920
or actually went into a little bit.

1150
00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:25,920
Sam was a jealous little pussy bitch.

1151
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:29,920
He constantly tried to get me kicked out and barred from all, and like I said earlier, he

1152
00:54:29,920 --> 00:54:32,920
did for a while, for a couple of weeks, and we went to court.

1153
00:54:32,920 --> 00:54:36,920
I got back in, which really fumed his ass, burnt his ass.

1154
00:54:36,920 --> 00:54:37,920
How bad.

1155
00:54:37,920 --> 00:54:40,920
Because every time I seen him, I was like overzealous about him.

1156
00:54:40,920 --> 00:54:41,920
Hi Sam, how are you?

1157
00:54:41,920 --> 00:54:44,920
He came over for dinner tonight, little guy.

1158
00:54:44,920 --> 00:54:47,920
A little tiny bit of authority he had and it's gone.

1159
00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:49,920
You look cute today.

1160
00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:52,920
I beeped his nose one time.

1161
00:54:52,920 --> 00:54:54,920
He could about went unglued.

1162
00:54:54,920 --> 00:54:59,920
So, you know, me and David used to play moon tricks on Sam Cawson.

1163
00:54:59,920 --> 00:55:01,920
Sounds like he deserved it.

1164
00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:03,920
Oh, he did, you know.

1165
00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:08,920
So, we quickly went to Jason to be the casual guy walking by to sell it.

1166
00:55:08,920 --> 00:55:13,920
So, Jason's over in the corner where the movie theaters upstairs used to be because then

1167
00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:15,920
they went downstairs for a while and then they disappeared.

1168
00:55:15,920 --> 00:55:16,920
Oh, yeah.

1169
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:19,920
Yeah, they used to be upstairs, mid upstairs.

1170
00:55:19,920 --> 00:55:23,920
So, I think right across from food court maybe, if I remember correctly.

1171
00:55:23,920 --> 00:55:27,920
Now in my mind, I'm getting a little confused with Ward Parkway because their movie theaters

1172
00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:29,920
shifted around a bit too.

1173
00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:34,920
Okay, well anyhow, this is when they were upstairs because I remember that part well

1174
00:55:34,920 --> 00:55:38,920
because people were coming in to go to lobbies and were screwing with them.

1175
00:55:38,920 --> 00:55:41,920
So, David and I set this one up perfectly.

1176
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:49,920
We had a buddy that he won a backstage pass to Great White.

1177
00:55:49,920 --> 00:55:50,920
Oh, remember them?

1178
00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:53,920
It's a video shoot, okay, as an extra.

1179
00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:54,920
Oh, that'd be cool.

1180
00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:55,920
Yeah.

1181
00:55:55,920 --> 00:56:00,920
And he was in it, I don't know if it was once bit or something else, but he was in it.

1182
00:56:00,920 --> 00:56:03,920
And so, and on the back was stamped used.

1183
00:56:03,920 --> 00:56:07,920
But on the front, it had an MTV logo.

1184
00:56:07,920 --> 00:56:09,920
It didn't have a specific band.

1185
00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:11,920
It just had, it didn't say Great White.

1186
00:56:11,920 --> 00:56:14,920
It just said, extra for MTV video shoot.

1187
00:56:14,920 --> 00:56:20,920
And I remember really well it was green with an orange MTV on it with their famous logo.

1188
00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:28,920
It was really cool looking and it was like made with some sort of a really thick paper

1189
00:56:28,920 --> 00:56:31,920
and it was engraved, I guess.

1190
00:56:31,920 --> 00:56:32,920
Oh, yeah.

1191
00:56:32,920 --> 00:56:33,920
Yeah, it was raised.

1192
00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:34,920
It felt great.

1193
00:56:34,920 --> 00:56:35,920
It felt like the seal of something.

1194
00:56:35,920 --> 00:56:37,920
Embossed paper, raised printing.

1195
00:56:37,920 --> 00:56:38,920
Raised printing, whatever.

1196
00:56:38,920 --> 00:56:40,920
Makes it a lot harder to counterfeit.

1197
00:56:40,920 --> 00:56:42,920
Plus, it makes it look cool.

1198
00:56:42,920 --> 00:56:45,920
So, our friend agreed to let us borrow this for a little while.

1199
00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:47,920
We got it back to him, like we said, and all that.

1200
00:56:47,920 --> 00:56:50,920
We didn't tear it up or steal it or nothing.

1201
00:56:50,920 --> 00:56:56,920
So, Davey started waving the card in the air and making fun of me because he got this and I didn't.

1202
00:56:56,920 --> 00:57:01,920
He was like, hey, I'm going to be on this, I'm going to be on this whatever.

1203
00:57:01,920 --> 00:57:02,920
Yeah.

1204
00:57:02,920 --> 00:57:07,920
So, he's waving around going, I'm going to be on the video and you're not because you're too stupid

1205
00:57:07,920 --> 00:57:10,920
and you couldn't win and all this stuff, right?

1206
00:57:10,920 --> 00:57:16,920
So, this magical card was supposed to be a 3D to be an extra on the set of MTV.

1207
00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:18,920
This is what we set it up to be, right?

1208
00:57:18,920 --> 00:57:20,920
A list of hundreds of bands.

1209
00:57:20,920 --> 00:57:27,920
The secret MTV guy walking around, he was walking around the mall and this was going to be Sam eventually.

1210
00:57:27,920 --> 00:57:33,920
So, the secret MTV guy that has these free magical passes was Sam, only he didn't know it.

1211
00:57:33,920 --> 00:57:37,920
So, Davey's like, and I'm like, fucking asshole.

1212
00:57:37,920 --> 00:57:39,920
Yeah, all this stuff.

1213
00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:43,920
So, automatically, see people getting ready to walk in, right?

1214
00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:45,920
Getting ready to go to the movie.

1215
00:57:45,920 --> 00:57:47,920
Yeah, just like magnetic.

1216
00:57:47,920 --> 00:57:51,920
They're just staring at us and Davey's like, and all this stuff.

1217
00:57:51,920 --> 00:57:53,920
I'm like, man, that sucks, man.

1218
00:57:53,920 --> 00:57:54,920
You get to go and I don't.

1219
00:57:54,920 --> 00:57:59,920
So, Davey is waving this around, making fun of me and Jason will walk by.

1220
00:57:59,920 --> 00:58:03,920
They go, yeah, I fucking 112, I threw it at him because there's no punk bands on it.

1221
00:58:03,920 --> 00:58:04,920
Fuck that.

1222
00:58:04,920 --> 00:58:06,920
I don't want to go.

1223
00:58:06,920 --> 00:58:09,920
So, all of a sudden, those kids are fucking coming over.

1224
00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:11,920
What was this?

1225
00:58:11,920 --> 00:58:12,920
So.

1226
00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:14,920
That's so clever.

1227
00:58:14,920 --> 00:58:15,920
Oh, yeah.

1228
00:58:15,920 --> 00:58:17,920
You set it up perfect.

1229
00:58:17,920 --> 00:58:25,920
So, the reason that we picked Sam to do this on that day was because we had the card for a couple of days.

1230
00:58:25,920 --> 00:58:27,920
He was wearing plain clothes.

1231
00:58:27,920 --> 00:58:34,920
And I guess he thought he was going to catch soft lifters or something not wearing his little fucking bitch outfit that he normally wore.

1232
00:58:34,920 --> 00:58:40,920
So, Jason, instead of us, goes, yeah, that fucking little douche right there is the one.

1233
00:58:40,920 --> 00:58:42,920
That's the secret MTV guy.

1234
00:58:42,920 --> 00:58:43,920
We didn't even say it.

1235
00:58:43,920 --> 00:58:45,920
It sold it even more.

1236
00:58:45,920 --> 00:58:51,920
Because all these teens are like, you know, fucking their heads sputtering out and they're staring at them.

1237
00:58:51,920 --> 00:58:57,920
So, Jason said, yeah, he goes, yeah, I bit him on the ear to get one.

1238
00:58:57,920 --> 00:59:02,920
So, the story was, was this.

1239
00:59:02,920 --> 00:59:08,920
The more outrageous you were, the more likely you were to get a free pass.

1240
00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:09,920
It was perfect.

1241
00:59:09,920 --> 00:59:18,920
Yeah, so automatically he had like 50 teens jumping in front of him, fucking biting his ear, kicking him in the ass.

1242
00:59:18,920 --> 00:59:21,920
One guy was clucking like a chicken in the space.

1243
00:59:21,920 --> 00:59:24,920
Another guy was like, look at the bird.

1244
00:59:24,920 --> 00:59:27,920
Some guy fucking jumped off on one side.

1245
00:59:27,920 --> 00:59:32,920
Another guy ripped off one of the trees and hit him with a switch.

1246
00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:35,920
And Sam was just fucking freaking out, man.

1247
00:59:35,920 --> 00:59:36,920
He's like, what the fuck?

1248
00:59:36,920 --> 00:59:37,920
And they're like, we want a pass.

1249
00:59:37,920 --> 00:59:38,920
We want a pass.

1250
00:59:38,920 --> 00:59:40,920
What pass?

1251
00:59:40,920 --> 00:59:43,920
This probably went on for fucking 25 minutes.

1252
00:59:43,920 --> 00:59:45,920
He was losing his mind.

1253
00:59:45,920 --> 00:59:46,920
Yes, he was.

1254
00:59:46,920 --> 00:59:47,920
He didn't know what was going on.

1255
00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:48,920
What planet did I wake up on?

1256
00:59:48,920 --> 00:59:51,920
He'd get 10 teens away from him, right?

1257
00:59:51,920 --> 00:59:54,920
And then you have 10 more teens attacking.

1258
00:59:54,920 --> 00:59:56,920
So, we leave.

1259
00:59:56,920 --> 00:59:59,920
We let this go on and let it go downhill.

1260
00:59:59,920 --> 01:00:01,920
And those teens told another one, get the pass from that fucker.

1261
01:00:01,920 --> 01:00:03,920
He didn't give us anything.

1262
01:00:03,920 --> 01:00:07,920
So, this just kept rolling on and rolling on and rolling on.

1263
01:00:07,920 --> 01:00:10,920
So, we come back a couple hours later.

1264
01:00:10,920 --> 01:00:12,920
We went to, oh, no, I know what we did.

1265
01:00:12,920 --> 01:00:14,920
We went to Andy's Santa Fe and had a burrito.

1266
01:00:14,920 --> 01:00:15,920
I remember the Andy's.

1267
01:00:15,920 --> 01:00:18,920
And we weren't even old enough to drink, but we still did.

1268
01:00:18,920 --> 01:00:19,920
Because they never carted there.

1269
01:00:19,920 --> 01:00:24,920
We both had margaritas or a fucking laugh and had our feet on the table and shit.

1270
01:00:24,920 --> 01:00:28,920
Davey had fucking flip flops on, so they eventually got mad and kicked us out.

1271
01:00:28,920 --> 01:00:30,920
Because you could see his toenails hanging out.

1272
01:00:30,920 --> 01:00:31,920
People didn't like that.

1273
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:32,920
Yeah.

1274
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:35,920
So, hey, we get back in.

1275
01:00:35,920 --> 01:00:37,920
All of a sudden, we see Sam coming by, all the shovels.

1276
01:00:37,920 --> 01:00:39,920
By this time, everything was gone.

1277
01:00:39,920 --> 01:00:41,920
It was all said and done.

1278
01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:46,920
I go, hey, Sam, do you want to know where all that came from?

1279
01:00:46,920 --> 01:00:49,920
Davey pulled out the cart and said, see this?

1280
01:00:49,920 --> 01:00:51,920
I go, yeah, you just been had, bitch.

1281
01:00:51,920 --> 01:00:52,920
Oh, he was fucking furious.

1282
01:00:52,920 --> 01:00:55,920
He turned right back, you motherfucker, I'm going to get you out of here.

1283
01:00:55,920 --> 01:00:57,920
I'm going to get you guys kicked out for good.

1284
01:00:57,920 --> 01:00:59,920
I go, what for?

1285
01:00:59,920 --> 01:01:01,920
I didn't do anything to get some all.

1286
01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:06,920
We didn't get kicked out.

1287
01:01:06,920 --> 01:01:09,920
That was one of the best fucking pranks we ever played.

1288
01:01:09,920 --> 01:01:10,920
Brilliant.

1289
01:01:10,920 --> 01:01:11,920
I just thought about it the other day.

1290
01:01:11,920 --> 01:01:13,920
I'm like, my God.

1291
01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:19,920
There are some other ones I got to remember that we did to them too.

1292
01:01:19,920 --> 01:01:22,920
And then I got another one.

1293
01:01:22,920 --> 01:01:25,920
You listen to the solo cast, right?

1294
01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:27,920
I'm going to tell the story about the nut-biner.

1295
01:01:27,920 --> 01:01:28,920
Oh, yes.

1296
01:01:28,920 --> 01:01:29,920
Oh, gosh.

1297
01:01:29,920 --> 01:01:43,920
Hey, where did everybody go?

1298
01:01:43,920 --> 01:01:45,920
Where are the douchebags?

1299
01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:47,920
Oh, my God.

1300
01:01:47,920 --> 01:01:49,920
Someone took a dump in the corner.

1301
01:01:49,920 --> 01:01:50,920
Oh, jeez.

1302
01:01:50,920 --> 01:01:52,920
Glad they're gone.

1303
01:01:52,920 --> 01:01:54,920
Let's just hope they don't come back.

1304
01:01:54,920 --> 01:02:07,920
Man, that smells.