Live from the historic river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the crystal blue
waters of the Missouri River, it's Two Douchebags and a Microphone Podcast.
Invisible ass paddlings, new douche flavors, and horrible pranks?
The fuck is wrong with these guys?
Now, deep thoughts with Mark.
Should I throw away all my socks, then only buy 30 pair of one kind of sock?
Will they eventually not match up?
I may never know.
Hey everybody, this is Two Douchebags and a Microphone, I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
Alright, well, this is gonna be the hairy asshole Olympics, part whatever, we don't
keep track anymore.
We're still in the second round.
Anyhow, I have two wild cards that I am still to introduce.
I took my pass card and used it last week, so I no longer have a pass card.
So, you still have a pass card.
No, I was the one that used the wild card.
Oh, you used the wild card, that's right, and I used the pass card.
Okay, I still have two wild cards that I can introduce.
And I may do it this winter, maybe not.
So, the first one that I think we should put against each other, and I'm just gonna go
down the list, is that okay?
That's fine.
Okay, Hank Williams Jr. versus Ron the Hedgehog Jeremy.
I know.
I think the hedgehog, and here's why.
Yeah, Hank is very hairy, Jr. is very hairy, he's got a thick beard and everything, but
he's probably 80, isn't he?
He's probably lost some of that asshole hair by now, don't you think?
Yeah, some of it.
Oh no, we could always defer to Topher, if you want.
Hmm, I was gonna kind of slide with Hank Jr.
Okay, tell me why.
Well, Ron Jeremy, people have seen, there's proof of him.
There is not proof of Hank Jr.
No, that's true.
Okay, let's go with Hank.
Because it's not gonna matter anyhow, I think our wall cards are gonna take president over
everything.
Okay, so Hank Jr. it is.
Next one.
Robin Williams versus Will Ferrell.
I'm gonna go with Robin.
I think you're right.
All right.
Next one, Andreas Baccelli versus Rob Zombie.
I'm gonna go with Zombie, just because dreads.
Yeah, yeah, Zombie.
Okay.
So, all right, we got all of that and you won, Rob Rad, you won against Jake Sully.
So we don't have one for you, so I'm gonna bring out one of my wall cards.
It's gonna be you, Rob Rad, against Mick Foley, mankind.
Oh, yeah.
You and Topher have fun with that one.
Okay.
So Mick Foley versus Rob Rad, and it's to be decided by Topher.
Okay.
All right.
I told you, I am not voting on myself.
Okay.
That would be wrong.
Okay.
Then I'm not gonna vote either.
This is gonna be left to Topher.
Okay.
I love the fact that it's not in our hands.
He's gonna determine whether you go on or not, and it depends probably on how evil of
a mood he's in.
Right.
So, okay.
And do you have any wall cards you want to introduce?
And I can bring out mine, my other one?
That'd be my last wall card.
I've got one wall card left, too.
Or do you just want to save them, and we'll insert them, plug and play later?
I'll wait.
You know what?
I'll wait, too.
Let's see the outcome of Mick Foley versus Rob Rad, and we'll go from there.
All right.
So okay.
So that is that one.
We're going to have to start putting them up against each other coming up.
What we have?
We've had what?
Three or four rounds, right?
Something like that.
Okay.
We gotta go back and figure out all the winners that have been left over from each round,
and then reintroduce them to the new winners, and maybe even bring in some extra guys.
That sound good?
All right.
Okay.
Well, speaking of assholes and ass, you know, Sonic has introduced some new burgers.
Was that a good transition, Rob?
That was awesome.
Okay.
Good.
All right.
This week, Sonic introduced the new Hickory BBQ Cheeseburger and brought back the Garlic
Butter Bacon Cheeseburger, which was available for a short period in 2022.
Both burgers are already available at Sonic restaurants nationwide and will stay on the
menu through the end of the year.
Sonic's brand new Hickory BBQ Cheeseburger is topped with Hickory BBQ sauce, American
cheese, onions, pickles, lettuce, and mayo on a toasted bun.
This returning Garlic Butter Bacon Cheeseburger is topped with Garlic Butter, American cheese,
bacon, mayo, and grilled onions on a toasted bun.
Both burgers are available on their own or as combos with your favorite side and drink.
And if you're willing to opt for a different beverage other than your tried and true, Sonic
is also releasing a brand new style of drinks for the first time in four years.
The restaurant is adding new Sonic Rechargers with Red Bull to its menu.
Sonic Rechargers with Red Bull will be available in three flavors, Dragon Fruit, Blood Orange,
and Twisted Lime.
And each flavor will feature Sprite, the flavor additive, Red Bull, and the Sonic's classic
Nugget Ice.
However you, you know their Nugget Ice is that almost crushed ice?
Yeah.
It's really good.
I mean, they have the best ice.
So it's going to have Sprite, whatever flavor additive you want with Red Bull.
So Sprite and Red Bull with whatever.
You want nectarine in it.
You want tangerine.
Yeah.
You want cherry, whatever.
You can put it in with a Sprite and Red Bull and it is called a Recharger.
Okay.
If the burgers and drinks aren't enough to get you to the restaurant, don't worry.
Sonic also has a new dessert this month too.
Sonic rolled out its new Trick or Treat Blast, which is your choice of vanilla or chocolate
soft served, mixed with Heath Pieces, M&Ms, Minis, and Oreo Cookies to menus nationwide.
Yep.
That means this month you can have all new burger drink combo and dessert from Sonic.
You could have a three course meal, all brand new, all that you've never had at Sonic ever
before.
So you know what?
Get your ass down to Sonic and quit fucking bitching, right?
Yeah.
That's right.
Other than that, we got nothing else for you there.
Anyhow, Rob, you got something you want to go into?
Sure.
I got a little story here.
All right.
Genozauello's Lake Marasibo has been polluted with so much crude oil over the years that
it can be seen from space.
Now a young environmentalist is trying to change that by asking volunteers to donate
their hair to soak up the oil, the Washington Post reported.
Celine Estratch, 28, is the founder of the Venezuelan environmentalist organization,
Proyecto Serena.
She and her team are collecting the hair and plan to use it later this month.
Estratch told the Post that thousands of people have already donated and some even brought
their dogs in for a haircut to contribute to the cause.
Wow.
1989 Alabama based hairdresser, Philip McCrory, created a prototype for an oil cleanup device
made of human hair, a device that NASA tested and deemed effective.
So that's why she's trying to make one herself is what she's doing.
That's cool.
Trying to clean up this lake.
Yeah.
That's pretty cool.
That is.
That's very cool.
I like seeing younger people take an initiative.
Me too.
That's a good story.
I mean, besides the lake, you know, being in crude oil, I mean, that's a great thing.
And actually, I've been using that out in the ocean for a long time.
Have you known that?
No, I didn't.
Yeah.
Well, they've been using human hair to soak up oil deposits in the ocean for quite a while
now.
Yeah.
It's been going on at least maybe eight, nine years and it works relatively well.
I guess what they do is a lot of places will save the hair from people getting haircuts
and this will be donated to places that actually use this to help the ocean out.
Look it up.
It's really interesting.
They have a giant net full of hair and they throw it in the ocean and you can see like
the you could see the oil separating from the water and going into this hair and soaking
into this hair.
And it's a lot better than all these chemicals that they got to throw in the ocean.
That's I mean, not even arguably.
We know these chemicals are no good.
You know, whenever they have an oil spill to soak up the oil, these chemicals are horrible
and lead to a lot of fish poisoning and coral reef killing where this hair deal is natural
and it does not hurt the ocean and it's replenable.
I mean, you know, people grow their hair, they get it cut off all the time.
So you have all the hair that you can get and you know, if you have enough people on
it then you could probably stay ahead of this problem just with human hair.
And I think that's a fantastic idea.
So good.
All right.
Good.
Good story, Rob.
In Atlanta, you know, first dates can be weird, right?
Right.
Well, first dates can be tricky, but one in Atlanta got downright slimy when a woman slurped
down 78 oysters, I think is what it is here.
It says no, 48, 48 oysters.
The woman posted about the date at Fontaine's Oyster House on TikTok saying the man asked
her out on a first date and he agreed to buy her, you know, some drinks, but they weren't
even talking about dinner.
So anyhow, the lady proceeded to order $185 worth of oysters, which is 48 of them.
And so the guy, he got really irritated and he took off on her.
So she put him on blast on the internet and said, you know, hey man, that's kind of crappy
taking off on me like that and everything.
And he wrote back online, he was like, you know what, I agreed to drinks, but not 48
oysters.
You know, I don't even know you yet.
Why should I buy you that many oysters?
And it's downright rude when someone's offering to pick up the check to buy that many.
I mean, if she would have just bought one order, I'm sure it would have been cool with
it, right?
He'd been like, okay, that's cool.
I can handle that.
But 48 of them and being $185 tab like that, not good.
I mean, almost $200 and he doesn't even really know her yet.
So he took off, she put him on blast.
And anyhow, like some people said, I don't know if I ate 48 of anything, maybe Skittles.
Others agreed they would have left, but some said the date shouldn't have walked out on
the bill.
The restaurant manager told Rolling Stone that eating 48 oysters is pretty impressive,
but not unheard of.
She was nice.
The manager said, Kelsey Flanagan told Rolling Stone, I just hope she's not getting too much
flak.
But the man took an online he posted, he said, you know what?
He said, I'll gladly pay for the drinks, but I'm not going to pay for your 48 oysters because
that was downright bullshit.
And I agree with him.
He offered to take her out for drinks.
And like I said, if she would have kept it within reason, like maybe an order of oysters,
he probably would have been fine with that, right?
But the thing is, you get 48 of them, that's rude.
It's just like, I don't give a fuck if you have enough money on you or not.
I don't care what kind of money you make.
I don't give a shit about anything.
All I want is to eat 48 oysters and I don't give a shit what you think.
And I think that that's pretty classless.
And I mean, I guess walking out was okay.
I mean, I don't know, you know, maybe, maybe he should have told her something like, you
know what?
I don't appreciate you doing this and I'm going to leave, but here's my portion of the
drinks.
I guess he could have done that, right?
Yeah.
Instead of walking out, but oh well.
It sounds like she said that, that it sounds like he's going to pay for the drinks and
she's paying for the oysters and they're just going to go about their own ways.
That's what it sounds like.
So I guess it all got settled after all, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, how about if we come right back and I will tell you about this new Alaskan Air
coffee that they're really proud of.
Sound good?
Yeah.
Swimming in toxic masculinity and wiping their ass with politically correct wash rags.
Two douche bags and a microphone invade your ear holes in three, two, one.
Now we go to the amazing Mark the Palm Reader.
Hello everybody and welcome to Mark the Amazing Palm Reader.
First in line, please step up.
Let's see young lady.
I see a long lifeline.
I see success, happiness, love, fortune.
I also see a bit index finger.
$20 please.
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Two
deuce bags and microphone on Mark.
Alright, well Alaskan Air recently has canceled its partnership with Starbucks to serve Starbucks
coffee on their air flights.
They opted to go for Stump Town's Haller Mountain, which is over there on the West Coast.
I think it's might be from Oregon maybe.
It's a best selling certified organic coffee from Oregon.
Three coffee experts at Stump Town's created an organic blend that fits, that's fit for
the skies.
For those who don't know, your taste buds react differently at a high altitude, which
is why food and drinks can taste different in the air compared to on the ground.
I've noticed that before.
Alaskan medium dark blend uses the same clean and sweet base as Haller Mountain, but with
a primary focus on a roast that's mellows the sissity and introduces just enough toastiness
to please a wide range of palates.
It's exceptionally smooth and balanced with aromatic notes of toasted marshmallows, brown
butter and toffee with delicate hints of citrus and cherry.
Additionally, Stump Town dialed in this roast to be delicious when served black or with
the addition of creamer or oat milk, which is now offered on Alaskan flights.
Alaska's custom roast will be available exclusively on all Alaska flights starting this fall and
will be on every flight by December 1st, 2023.
Plus guests can sit Stump Town in Portland and JFK lounges and they'll be serving Stump
Town's Haller Mountain in their espresso beverages and also it looks like they'll have them in
cans and bottles at kiosks.
So anyhow, it sounds good because your taste buds do change.
They prove that when you get in a higher altitude and the taste of this coffee sounds like it's
really good anyhow.
I mean, did that not sound like a perfect cup of coffee?
Yeah, low acidity and the notes of butter and the toasted marshmallow and all that.
I mean, it makes sense to me.
So anyhow, yeah.
Taco Bell's come out with a new steak and bacon grilled cheese burrito.
Oh cool.
Yeah, features marinated grilled steak, potatoes, chipotle sauce, nacho cheese sauce, reduced
fat sour cream, three cheese blend all wrapped up inside a warm flour tortilla with more
three cheese blend and bacon grilled on top.
So it almost sounds like marinated grilled steak is almost like their answer to Chipotle
kind of.
Yeah.
It suspiciously sounds Chipotle like.
So and Chipotle coincidentally is getting ready to raise all their prices.
I read that the other day or so.
I think I saw it on the news.
So anyhow, Ozzy, I guess took and put some sort of hash and Sharon Osborne's meal a few
years back.
Didn't turn out so well.
Yeah.
Sharon Osborne is re reliving the moment Ozzy Osborne spiked her dinner with cannabis.
The 69 year old music manager and TV personality who has been married to Black Sabbath rocker
who was 73.
I think he's going to be 74 in November.
Since 1982, recalled the moment she had tucked into a meal that had been laced with black
hash.
Speaking in a joint interview with Zane Lowe, she revealed, I broke his guitar one day because
he made me a stew with some shit in it.
The Prince of Darkness initially denied her accusation saying, I never fucking did that.
But when pushed by his wife to reveal what was in it, he said a bit of black hash.
The former X Factor judge went on to explain that the substance had sent her crazy and
she ended up smashing a guitar.
While Ozzy revealed she'd thrown a phone for extra measure, Sharon revealed, I was
eating the stew and it sent me crazy.
It made me violent.
Randy's guitar was there and I picked it up.
I slammed it against the wall and all that was left was a neck and it just made me go
insane and it was you that made me do that Ozzy.
That's what she said.
She took Randy Rhoades, one of Randy Rhoades prize guitars that Ozzy had hanging up and
smashed it into nothing.
The paranoid singer who shares children Amy 38, Kelly 37 and Jack 36 with the TV persiality
says she gets on the phone and she throws the phone at me.
The couple will no doubt be celebrating Ozzy's number one album with Patient Number 9 and
his Grammy award winning and Patient Number 9 and Ordinary Man.
He's getting a lot of kadoos on his last couple albums which have been really, really good
albums which have been quality albums and I commend him for adding to his legacy when
he could just be going through the motions and being Ozzy and being revered and cool
and loved.
But no, he's trying to pad his music career and all the people that said he won the Grammy
Award, real musician or he wasn't that great of a singer or all that, they're not going
to have much of a leg to stand on.
His body of work is insanely good, wouldn't you say?
Yeah.
I know we may not be the last singer but I'd rather hear him sing than a lot of other people.
So it doesn't matter, you know.
So Rob, you got anything you want to go into?
Yeah.
Police in London are seeking answers two years after the remains of a man were found in a
basement freezer.
Roy Bigg was reported missing in 2012 but it wasn't until October 15th, 2021 that he
was found in a freezer in a building that was used to be a wine bar.
The Metropolitan Police Service said in a statement he was identified through dental
records.
Police believe Bigg was in the freezer for several years, was around 70 when he died.
Despite previous efforts, police are still searching for information about his killer.
It's now been more than two years since Roy was found.
Detective Chief Inspector Kelly Allen said in his statement, although our investigation
of previous media appeals have provided us with information about Roy's life, we still
need your help to identify who is responsible.
Hmm.
Where's their currency?
Over there?
Pounds?
Yeah.
Okay, a $20,000 pound is being offered for information leading to the arrest, charge,
and prosecution of those responsible, that police say.
Bigg's cause of death was inconclusive.
Anyone with information should call Metropolitan Police.
Oh wow.
Okay.
Yeah.
Nine years.
Okay.
Wow.
And nobody reporting missing?
I know.
That's what I'm thinking is, is like, did he not have a family or?
I don't know.
Huh?
I don't know.
You hear about the Whataburger employees that let a customer in a very unusual way know
that they found her phone?
Huh.
Whataburger employees let a customer know she left her phone at the restaurant.
They took and uploaded a video of them on her phone and posted it on her social media
through her phone.
So they did a video going, hi, whoever, we have your phone, na na na, you know, doing
little skits and little, you know, and little songs and stuff.
And then her friends immediately let her know.
So when she got her phone back, she put the hilarious video up on Tik Tok.
It received almost 400,000 hits.
The video had several employees seeing and said, uh, 40 days and the phone is ours.
So they were counting down.
They said, Hey, today's 40 days, 30 more, 39 more days.
And it's one of ours.
So, uh, anyhow, um, you know, there is, you know what?
Let's uh, let's take a little break and I'll go into this.
This is kind of a lengthy subject coming up.
Is that cool with you?
Yeah, that's fine.
Okay.
We'll be right back in a couple of minutes and I'm going to go into grumpy stares.
Have you ever heard that term grumpy stares?
No, I haven't.
Well you'll hear, you'll hear all about it here in a couple of minutes.
We'll be right back.
All right.
Hey look, I think we found land.
Oh my God.
I think we're safe.
Oh no, it's the island of horrible jokes.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies.
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So I had this stupid son of a bitch come around me.
He would not shut his fucking yap or for nothing.
He gets up on me and he talks all stupid.
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Swimming in toxic masculinity and wiping their ass with politically correct wash rags.
Two douchebags in a microphone invade your ear holes in 3, 2, 1.
Alright two douchebags in a microphone on Mark.
And I'm Rob.
Okay a grumpy stayer is a guy that hates his job but he stays there because he can't get
another one at least not current you know.
Maybe in the future he could or whatever.
But he or she is madder than hell that they're still there.
But there's nothing they can do about it.
So they're a grumpy stayer.
They're staying at their job but they don't want to be there.
So they're called a grumpy stayer.
Does that make sense?
Okay yeah.
Okay okay.
Jose Gonzalez has a job but he's not happy about it.
His new more prestigious IT position hasn't been all he thought it would be.
He's doing busy work all day and he's disengaged from his team and his work.
He finds going into the office even more depressing than working from home.
There don't seem to be really good jobs out there except for the unattainable or the meaning
of what Gonzalez said.
So yeah I'm very grumpy lately.
He's one of the country's grumpy stayers.
Workers who are reluctantly staying put in a cooing labor market.
Grumpy stayers are in some ways the next iteration of quiet quitters.
Rattled by layoffs and fewer opportunities they can't skate anymore or be as vocal about
their discontent but they also don't want to stay.
Gonzalez isn't alone.
Some of these workers say they've hopped into better roles and didn't end up being what
they'd signed up for.
Others lament missing out on the great reshuffle in which a wave of people traded up jobs until
they were happy.
Some see their job prospects hindered by unnecessary degree of certification requirements while
others say companies are prioritizing perks over actual career advancement.
These factors have combined create a situation where many workers feel stuck.
The great resignation was supposed to help them gain more power, money and benefits but
that hasn't worked out as planned.
Now as the labor market cools, conditions are ripe for grumpy stayers to get even grumpier.
I'm pretty much stuck here doing this work now, Gonzalez said.
I was talking to an acquaintance of mine who's a recruiter and he's telling me summer is
the slow time that there are no jobs.
So grumpy stayers come in many forms.
Some like Gonzalez shuffled into jobs that weren't as good as a fit as they'd hoped.
Workers like Elizabeth of Barista, Massachusetts have found themselves spending in the same
role for four years.
Elizabeth has been with her company for 18 years.
She said she'd been staying at her role out and been job hunting for a year even though
the second part-time job she was looking for she hasn't had any luck getting.
I can't find anything that pays more or even what I'm making.
She doesn't require me to be certified or have a degree or something, I don't.
But at the same token, she's getting tired of being a barista and trying to advance her
career.
Recently she found herself tipping off the grumpy edge.
She figured she'd never been able to get a higher paying position without spending time
in a management role.
So when an opportunity to move into a management position rose, she applied.
But after she got passed over for the role, she started having panic attacks at work,
she said.
She added that at one point she almost walked out but then found herself sitting on the
floor crying instead.
Now she's on leave from work.
You got anything you want to say to that, Rob?
Not really.
Me neither.
I don't know.
I don't know, you know, everybody goes through hard times but you know what, I mean, you
know what, forget it.
Okay, anyhow, this has become quite a problem and to be quite honest, you know what, you
can dislike your job all you want.
Is it paying the bills?
Is it your job and not someone else's?
You're better off than a lot of people so you know what, yeah, I've really got nothing
else.
I mean, yeah, nothing really else to say about that.
So anyhow, Rob, we turn to you.
You got anything you want to speak of, talk about, anything?
How about another American songwriter list?
Ooh, all right, Rob, the floor is yours.
Please go forth.
This one's a pretty cool one too.
Okay, cool.
I'm ready.
This is five of the strangest backstage rituals of classic rock stars.
Okay.
Okay, number one, Van Halen would always request a bowl of M&Ms but it's certain there should
only be brown M&Ms.
Brown M&Ms, yep, that's a famous story.
Yep, that one I heard, that one I had heard of.
I love it.
They used to make people get brown M&Ms.
They had to sort them over whatever but they could only have brown M&Ms in them.
Okay, number two, Paul McCartney, before he would go on stage, he'd do a face steam.
Oh wow.
And he got that and he learned that technique from Little Richard.
But then to wind down after the show, he'd have a sandwich and a margarita.
Good man.
Yep.
Number three, Keith Richards, gotta have his shepherd's pie.
Really?
Yeah.
Okay, all right.
Number four, Robert Plant likes to iron.
Okay, like clothes?
Like clothes.
Yeah, just likes to iron clothes, hang them up.
Okay, okay, all right.
Number five, Alice Cooper likes his kung fu movies.
I could believe that.
I didn't know that but I could believe that.
Cool.
And that concludes our American songwriter list for this evening.
Okay, very cool.
I really like those things.
I do too, man.
I really do too.
Okay.
Very cool.
American songwriter, huh?
That's where the list come from?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
You know that in Canada, ride passengers were rescued after dangling upside down 75 feet
up for a half an hour?
No, I didn't.
Well, now you're getting there.
You're gonna hear about it.
A Canadian amusement park ride turned into nightmare fuel on Saturday night.
It was a great ride.
The ride turned into nightmare fuel on Sunday after stop-and-suddenly suspending passengers
upside down 75 feet above the ground for nearly 30 minutes.
The lumberjack ride located at Canada's Wonderful Theme Park in Vaughan, Ontario contains two
hydraulic arms shaped like axes that swing back and forth, occasionally propelling themselves
at 10.40 p.m. local time according to a statement from the park shared with NPR.
A wonderful spokesperson did not disclose the cause of the ride's abrupt stop, but
did say that the maintenance team was able to respond quickly.
All passengers were back on the ground by 11.05 p.m.
The park said that two people were treated for chest pain before being released.
Theme park crowds watched as the rescue unfolded, capturing the dangling passengers crying for
help in the video shared on social media.
Which they do show.
Oh my gosh.
Get a chance.
Look at it, Rob.
It is.
It's fucked.
You see people just like, yeah, it's yeah, it's not good.
So anyhow, interesting stuff.
I read it's also this newspaper ad.
Okay.
It started out an ad, but I think they had to go back and fix it.
It was a singles ad.
The following ad appeared in the Atlanta Journal.
People black females seeks male companionship.
Ethnicity not important.
I'm a very good looking girl who loves to play.
I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing
trips.
Cozy winter nights lying by the fire.
Candlelit dinners will have me eating out of your hand.
When you get home from work, I'll be at the front door wearing only what nature gave me.
Call 404-555-1212 and ask for Daisy.
Down below it was printed over 1500 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society
about eight week old black Labrador retriever.
Okay.
Cool?
Very cool.
Funny.
Let's see.
What else have we got here?
You know, there's a lady that left and came home and found out her home was mistakenly
demolished.
Wow.
Yeah, Susan Hodgkin found a pile of rubble in place of what used to be her longtime family
property when she returned from holiday, she told WAGA TV.
I'm just left with a big old mess, Ms. Hodgkin said.
She said a neighbor called her while she was away, asked if someone had been hired to tear
down the vacant house.
I said no, and she said, well, there's someone over here who just demolished the whole house.
And tore the entire house down, Ms. Hodgkin said.
When the neighbor confronted the workers, Ms. Hodgkin said she was told to shut up and
mind her own business.
Ms. Hodgkin sent a family member over who asked the workers for a permit.
When one of the workers checked the permit, Ms. Hodgkin said he admitted he was at the
wrong address.
The house did not have anyone living there when it was demolished, Ms. Hodgkin said.
We keep it boarded, covered, grass cut, and the yard is clean.
The taxes are paid and everything is up on it.
She said she has not heard anything from the company's response.
It's just hard to believe that someone thinks they have the right to just come over and
tear something up, walk away from it, and then didn't even come back and say I'm sorry
or nothing, didn't say anything about how they're going to fix the problem or nothing.
I would say that she probably has a pretty good lawsuit on her hands, wouldn't you?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Anyhow, so you got anything?
I got a little list.
Okay.
I just pulled up.
Okay, this was from two, I saved this two days ago.
Okay.
It's been October 22nd.
It's a list of notable albums released on October 22nd in rock and roll history.
Okay.
Led Zeppelin, Led Zeppelin II, 1969.
Okay.
Kiss, Hotter Than Hell, 1974.
Wow.
Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band, Night Moves, 1976.
Okay.
Elton John, Blue Moves, 1976.
Cool.
Depeche Mode, Construction, Time Again.
Depeche Mode.
1983.
Cool.
Paul McCartney, Give My Regards to Broad Street soundtrack, 1984.
Oh, wow.
That one's not very well known of either.
No, it's not.
Aldo Novo, Twitch, 1985.
Oh, wow.
I forgot about that one.
Oh, my God.
That one flopped big time.
Big, big time.
Yeah, it did.
It was a good album, it's just his type of music really wasn't in anymore.
1985 was like the glam, sleaze rock era.
Right, right.
And he was still kind of doing that 1970s hard rock stuff.
You know, Rainbow, Purple, stuff like that, Zeppelin.
Right.
So, anyhow, go ahead.
Bad Company, Fame and Fortune, 1986.
Oh, yeah, that one.
Yep.
Yeah.
Journey, Trial by Fire, 1996.
I remember that shit show.
Yep.
The Cranberries, Wake Up and Smell the Coffee, 2001.
Yeah.
To be fair about that album is the whole music scene changed again.
Yeah, it did.
It became poppy and they were the old pissed off alternative crowd and it just didn't go
over.
Right.
Yeah, anyhow.
Foo Fighters, One by One, 2002.
I thought, okay, all right.
I like that one, but anyhow.
This is just a list that come out on October 26th.
No, I know.
It's cool.
Yeah.
I'm just like adding my own whatever to it.
Right.
Jackal, Relentless, 2002.
Yeah, that one Blue Goats.
Yep.
Gary Clark Jr., Black and Blue, 2012.
I have no recollection of that at all, do you?
I don't either.
Okay.
Dream Theater, A View from the Top of the World, 2021.
In 2021?
That's what it says.
I didn't know they're still around.
Okay.
Yep.
That concludes that list.
Okay.
Wow.
Okay.
Like always, stellar lists.
Really good information.
I mean, at least for nerds like me, I love information like that.
I think it's excellent.
Right.
There's two separate Halloween displays, one in New York and one in Ohio that are going
viral, thanks to their common theme.
Do you know what that common theme is?
What?
Taylor Swift.
Heather Nolette of Peru, New York said she and her family are known for their elaborate
Halloween decorations, and this year they decided to go all out in tribute to their
mutual love of Taylor Swift.
My four daughters and I have been to every concert except for Lover, of course, because
that was during COVID.
Since my girls were very young, we have always been Swifties.
We attended her concert this year at Gillette Stadium, and we tried to make some of those
ideas and bring them here for everyone to enjoy.
Nolette told WP's TZTV.
The spooky Swiftie display features an animatronic skeleton band playing along to Swift's songs
with coordinated lights as well as numerous skeleton sporting costumes inspired by the
singer's most iconic looks.
And you got to look this up on YouTube, Rob.
They really went all out.
It is very cool.
Meanwhile, in London, Ohio, Terry and Jerry Keatron took a similar inspiration for their
Halloween decor.
The display, which titled Taylor's Stiff Concert, featured a skeleton Swift on stage performing
with a crowd of devoted skeleton fans.
There are even security guards making sure Travis Kelce does not get on the stage.
Terry Keatron told WLTWTTV, she is an amazing human being and such an inspiration to all
women no matter what age.
So all right.
All right, Rob, you got anything else?
Are we going to go ahead and shut this show down?
And I'm going to put on a couple little extra, what do you call them?
A blast from the past on this one right here.
Well, actually, I do have one last little tidbit.
Sounds good.
Go forth with it, Rob.
And then I've got a final thought.
All right.
There's something to do with the...
You remember on Gilligan's Island, that white radio.
Mm hmm.
Yeah.
Everybody, anybody our age remembers that white radio.
They kept having to work on that bitch to keep it going.
The battery power, they had to fucking, what, do that stationary bike to get it to work.
Remember that?
And they're out in the middle of nowhere, but they could pick up radio stations.
I know, I know.
If they were that close, they would have been found.
I mean, I think even AM back then would not travel that far.
So anyhow, not to the South Pacific where they were supposed to be, but go ahead.
The Gilligan's Island radio was actually not a prop.
It was a working radio.
Packard Bell Model AR-851 tabletop AM radio, previously purchased by show creator, Furd
Schwartz, to listen to Dodger games in his office.
Schwartz did not like the black radio used in the pilot.
He thought the white radio would show better.
He had the prop department add the handle and the pen for effect.
When the show wrapped after the third season, Schwartz took the now iconic TV prop back
to his office, plugged it back in and continued to listen to Dodger games on it for decades.
What a cool story.
That's very cool.
All right.
I think that's the perfect way to round out this program with a couple of blasts from
the past added onto here.
So anyhow, I have one final thought and then you guys will get some goofiness and then
some blasts from the past after this.
So only in America do you have a kid wearing $150 tennis shoes, sipping a $7 cup of coffee
on a thousand dollar phone complaining on social media that capitalism has failed them.
Right?
Right.
Rob, Brad?
Yeah.
Have a fantastic evening.
Thanks for joining me again.
You too.
All right.
Happy birthday again, by the way.
Thank you.
That's why we're doing two podcasts tonight.
Because tomorrow I'm not present.
I'm not around.
Come on.
Yep.
Or as Jim Rome always said, I was in the basement.
Tomorrow I'm in the basement.
Don't look for me.
I'm not there.
Everybody have a good night.
Thank you.
Good night.
As much fun as an electric can opener to the scrotum, two douchebags in a microphone.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.
It's strange insults from an alien.
Real hilarity.
I will waste you.
But my mom told me to not burn trash.
We'll be leaving you.
Coming up, a blast from the past.
This is where we take old shows and incorporate them into new shows.
Because you fucks refuse to go get it.
When we were in high school, we had this guy, fucking corn fed piece of crap.
Anyhow, his nickname was Biggin.
So anyhow, Biggin was, he was like a big run stopper and really not worth anything except
that.
He just takes up space and that's it.
So we'd be doing practices and Biggin would be hard to get around.
He was just this huge fucking lump of shit.
So anyhow, Biggin was, that was pretty much it.
So damn it, here I am like I'm prepared because I only ever written down and I thought I could
just do it.
So okay, Biggin was this run stopper and he was dirty.
What he'd do is whenever you're in the middle of the dog pile, at the bottom of the dog
pile, he'd grew his fingernails out and he would sharpen them.
His index finger and his thumb.
He'd grow them out and sharpen them.
So what he would do is when you're in the bottom of the dog pile, he'd get right up
and he'd wear a jog strap of course.
And he'd get right up against your nuts and just pinch the fuck out of you so bad it would
be black and blue for a month.
It'd draw blood.
So yeah, and then even worse, whenever his helmet would be knocked off, which was often
because we were a small school and I remember Center gave us some helmets that were extra.
They got new ones and Notre Dame did, Notre Dame des Signe did and real football programs
gave us free helmets.
Yeah, but they already beat the crap.
They were already beat the crap and used.
And actually we had to put our own logos on them because they were what?
We had to make sure they were white helmets that way we could put the blue horn on there
or the purple horn for a Viking on there.
Yeah.
Okay.
So it started to beat all the hell with the new fucking horn on them.
And none of them would ever fit.
They're always loose.
We never could get them to fit, right?
I don't know if all that beading made them cockeyed or something.
Yeah, mashed the foam down in weird ways.
Yeah, so we always had these helmets that would fly off of us constantly.
But that was one of the things about being in that type of a school, that small of a
firm school, is the revenue wasn't really high that they were getting.
So you had to have a football program.
It consisted of number one, paying the school.
We had to pay the school to be in football.
Wow.
Yeah.
And also we had to take hand-me-downs from anywhere.
Otherwise we'd be paying for our own equipment.
And we did pay for some of our own equipment.
Imagine.
Yeah, like our cleats.
If you wanted a real pair of cleats, a good pair of cleats, you had to buy them yourself.
If you wanted the ones the schools assigned you, they weren't worth the shit because they
were hand-me-downs.
Yeah.
Wow.
And also, like Biggin, he was horrible in school.
He was terrible in school.
But he went the bright as a... He was a dumbass and he was an asshole.
And they kept him going because they probably really needed the tax money.
They needed how many heads to make this much...
Well, yeah, that's true.
... to stay in business.
Basically, that's what it was, was to stay in business.
So Biggin was there as a run stopper.
And we had this little guy, Jimmy, he was faster than hell.
And he was just a little bitty guy and he was a running back.
And no one could stop him because he would literally almost just run under your feet.
And he was like a little lightning.
And so he'd always get by on Biggin.
So I think there's a little bit of Biggin being mad.
So there's this one play.
What it is is you couldn't turn in... Whenever Biggin did this, you couldn't turn it in because
the coach did not like you to turn in penalties or anything like that.
Oh yeah, no tattletales on the team.
Yeah, yeah.
He felt like that was his job to, number one, call penalties.
And number two, no tattletaling.
So if someone tripped you or was holding you, the worst thing you could do is go, hey, he
held me.
And he'd make everybody run gassers.
And gassers were in the field side to side two times.
Punish everyone to make you shut up.
Yes.
And they didn't lock room to get your ass with.
You may run five miles, Wallace.
Bam, bam, bam.
Knock the piss out of you.
Kick the hell out of you.
Laugh.
So... So Biggin could get away with it knowing that you'd be the bigger rat for
turning him in.
Yes.
Yeah.
So you had to kind of take it, I mean.
I had plenty of welts underneath my ballsack.
I hated this fucker.
So everybody hated this fucker, but nobody wanted to do it to anyone else.
No one did it back to him.
We didn't do it to each other.
It was just too dirty.
Yeah.
So like I before mentioned, everybody's helmets would fall off routinely.
No big deal because, I mean, they were beat all to hell when we got them.
They were cockeyed.
They didn't work very well.
But that's all we had.
Unless you wanted to buy a brand new one and we were mowing lawns.
Yeah.
So we were using those.
So there was this one play.
We were getting ready to play, I think, Drexel, which was our tribal.
Like everything you've seen at Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
Kill Jefferson.
The signs and the pep play.
Yeah, and all that.
The assembly where you all yell and cheer.
Let's kill Jefferson.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's kill Jefferson.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's kill Drexel.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And me, I didn't give a fuck, man.
I was pretty much a freak that they pretty much forced into playing football.
You're just more happy it's Friday night than you are about anything else.
Yeah, I'm thinking, I don't want to fucking be here.
I want to go out on the gravel roads and fucking smash beers with my friends.
I don't want to be here.
But I played because I really got pretty much pressured into it.
Come on, we need people.
Because we really did need people.
Yeah.
We had pretty much one in every position and one guy that could do a little bit of everything.
Like one guy that could do four things, one guy that could do five things, another guy
that could do three things.
And those were our backups.
We had like no actual real backup person.
Yeah, no first string, second string.
It was a little more immediate than that.
Yeah.
So, I mean, so they really did need me.
Yeah.
And so, Biggin was in the middle of this pile.
And this was, we were practicing against our arch rivals.
And this is late September.
Yeah.
But it was really hot.
Real, real hot.
So one of you is the practice team wearing the other team's colors.
Yeah, yeah.
We're in Drexel's colors in the white and everything.
So it was really hot.
It's like around 100 degrees.
It's like winter's last, or summer's last, by like flipping you off and slamming the
floor.
And I remember very well, I mean, we were all just fucking hotter than hell, sweating
ham chunks, fucking gravy.
Back then they thought it was better if you didn't drink water.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
Yeah, they did.
Yep.
So we're all in that dog pile and all of a sudden I hear like, yeah!
Oh my God.
So Jimmy, he had this problem with some sort of weird ass pariasis or jock itch or something.
I'm not sure what it was.
It was something like that.
And it was on the inside of his thigh right up there.
Could be like a fungal infection.
Yeah, it probably was.
But it was probably combined with the heat, combined with the material from the jock strap.
But I remember he was showing people in there going, man, this shit sucks.
It hurts like fuck.
I can't put on my jock strap.
Well, he had to go without one.
So he was in practice just hoping he didn't get fucking wrecked.
Because that's the only thing that would save you was your jock strap.
If you got smacked in the nuts, it wouldn't hurt nearly as bad because you're like safely
tucked away.
Kind of distributes the impact around a little bit.
Yeah, instead of the little fling, it's like, yeah.
Yeah, that like all of a sudden just stuns you and you don't know where you're at for
a minute.
Time stops and then you think you're dying and then you hope you're dying.
Then you wish you were dead.
And then you walk off gingerly.
I'll be in the locker room.
So Jimmy cannot wear a jock strap.
So we hear this fucking scream in the pain.
So also Jimmy gets up and blood is running down the inside of his white pants.
I mean, not just kind of.
I mean, it was running and the coach automatically he freaks out.
He's like, ah, son of a bitch.
So he runs over there and the first thing he does, he pulled down his pants because,
you know, number one, he thought there was a jock strap underneath there and he didn't
expect it all to just fucking flop out.
Number two, there's this huge bite marks on his fucking nut.
Oh my God.
And there's blood running everywhere.
And the coach just flips out.
Who the hell did this?
Who did this?
And everyone like pointing and fucking digging.
You did this?
Yeah.
Okay.
So, so he takes it and he calls the health team, not the paramedics, the health team
that we have.
And he calls them out and I think I actually think of Jimmy ended up going to the hospital
over this.
I imagine they probably chomped through a blood vessel.
Probably.
So they had the health team come out there and they're over there trying to fucking do
pressure and Jimmy screaming, which I'd be fucking crying.
I tell you.
Yeah.
And then fucking coach grabs fucking big and by the ear and takes him straight into the
office.
So Biggie got in a lot of shit over that, but I think he, he didn't go to jail that
day, but I think he had a court date over it.
Yeah.
If I remember correct.
This is quite a while ago, but I think he went to court over it.
I don't think he did any time, but I think, I don't know if like, like right now, let's
say he's looking for a job in a secure, like an air base or something or something that,
um, well like the federal reserve downtown, I've done that job there and you have to get
a clearance.
If you have any type of a record at all, they will not let you in there.
So I don't know if to this day, if he can't get a secure job like that because he's a
nut biter.
I guess that would depend on how old he was at the time because prior to a certain age.
Oh, he would have been 17, 16 probably.
Yeah.
So it's probably juvenile records and those can get sealed, expunged.
Well then he, it's probably done.
It's probably been done.
I mean, if he was 18 at the time, he probably would have wound up having to list as the
sex offender.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
I don't think that that's what happened.
I think that it probably went away when he was 18, but he did get in some shit.
But I, if I remember correctly, this is a long time ago.
This is eighties, early eighties.
So nobody wanted to deal with it back then as much as they're willing to deal with it
now.
No, no, no.
I mean, it's just shock to people.
We all knew this shit was going on, but he never did bite your nuts either.
Yeah.
Everybody wore a jockstrap.
He knew about where he could go.
Yeah.
You kind of figured that there was a point that he wouldn't cross.
Who was this fucking moron?
His woman just left the coffee shop talking to herself.
Oh, okay.
I think she got, I don't think she was happy with their service and walked out complaining
and we all got to hear it.
Okay.
Hey, where'd everybody go?
Where are the douchebags?
Oh my God.
Someone took a dump in the corner.
Oh geez.
Glad they're gone.
Let's just hope they don't come back.
Man, that smells.