Live from the historic river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri from the crystal blue
waters of the Missouri River, it's two douchebags and a microphone podcast.
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.
Is a Pop-Tart a ravioli?
Or is it a sandwich?
I may never know.
Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.
Bill Ruck and Troy Aitman are being all televised in radio games of the NFL this year.
Two douchebags and a microphone, I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
Welcome.
So, anyhow, Rob, what's new with you?
Anything much?
Nothing much, really.
Oh, yeah, just working, that kind of thing?
Yeah, just working coming home.
Yep, same here, pretty much.
Only I'll be one year older as of tomorrow.
Happy birthday, by the way.
Hey, thank you, thank you.
So, anyhow, yep, they could not fit at the restaurant where we were at tonight.
They could not fit 26 candles on there.
So, you know, so I had to go with one candle, right?
Yeah, it kicks our little skull.
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
Yes.
So, anyhow, so I got a couple little Gen Z things here, little nuggets.
You want to have them?
Okay.
Go for it.
Have you heard or read of the acronym IJBOL?
No.
I have and always wondered what it was and I finally found out.
If you have, you might not understand it if you're not Gen Z because Gen Z has cancelled the tired old LOL for the new guy in town, IJBOL.
This is a brand new acronym which stands for I Just Burst Out Laughing.
Okay.
You know what, Rob?
I love it.
The dinosaur known as LEL half the time was taken for sarcasm.
Have you ever noticed that?
Yeah.
Yeah, you're like in a hurry and someone says something funny and you don't have time to go, oh, that was great.
So, you put LOL and then the LOL just comes off kind of like you're shoving them away.
Like, oh, yeah, okay, there you go.
Yeah, yeah, I like this.
At times, yeah, you can take it as that.
I always have for some reason.
I always took LOL as like the quickest way to get out of there.
Kind of like, oh, okay, oh, here he comes with the stupid jokes again.
Okay, just put the LOL in there and maybe he'll fucking leave us alone.
That's kind of the way that I always feel whenever I get to know LOL.
I always like instead of putting LOL, I'll put like a ha or something like that, like, you know, ha, okay.
You know, something to exclaim a little bit, not just like LOL.
Oh, yeah, yeah, that means I laughed out loud.
So, you know, anyhow, I kind of like this.
You know, it's sarcasm because of how generic LOL was.
If you're in a hurry to appease a person, you know, you do that.
You know, sometimes people feel shunned, you know.
So anyhow, bravo, Ziers.
It's about time the LOL that's been around since AOL days, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's been around since AOL, America Online.
Yeah. Yeah.
And Netscape browsers and Windows 95 and Windows NT and all that shit.
LOL was around back then.
So anyhow, it's about time we came up with a new one, Gen Z. I applaud you.
All right. Another little Gen Z tidbit coming up is you ever heard of quiet walking?
No.
I like this one, too.
Quiet walking is a new Gen Z trend.
Many Ziers are now doing is what known as quiet walking.
This is walking without a friend or phone to be unplugged.
Many Ziers say that this gives them ideas and helps solve personal issues.
One young lady said, because our mind isn't being filled with other clutter,
i.e. music, podcasts, live radio or audio books,
it leaves room in your brain for more thought.
And Rob, I agree with this.
I agree with this 100 percent because sometimes the best thing I can do for anything
whether it's trying to hash out something that I need to do
and I'm trying to figure out the best way to do it or I need to make a purchase or something,
you know, all the stuff that kind of grinds you down. Right.
I always found that like not listening to anything and just sitting alone for a little while has always helped me.
It always kind of helped me gather my thoughts, go in the direction I needed to do without any other influence. Right.
Yeah.
So I like this.
So anyhow, this is how come people solve stuff in the shower.
Remember we had the episode not too long ago where people brainstorm in the shower more?
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, this goes along the same line, don't you think?
Yeah. It does.
Yeah.
You know, I think there's something to this and I'm in full agreement with both the Gen Z stuff tonight.
So, Rob, you got something you want to get at, something that you're chomping at the bit for, something you want to talk about?
You got anything on your plate?
Yeah. I ran across a recall.
Okay.
This goes to, okay, Baker Farms in conjunction with the U.S. Food and Drug Administration
has announced a voluntary recall of Kroger bag collard greens after a production round was found to have been potentially contaminated with steira.
Oh.
The effective product is 16 ounce bags of Kroger branded collard greens that were sold in the produce department of Kroger stores in 11 states.
The product was distributed to Kroger retail locations in the following states.
Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, South Carolina, Tennessee.
The recall also impacts parts of Illinois, Indiana, and Missouri.
Oh, so some of it is over here too.
Yeah. To determine if you have a recalled product, check the UPC code, production code, and best buy date.
The following info is that of the recalled product.
UPC code is 1110-18171.
Okay.
With a best buy date of 10-16-23 and production code 110093-387.
Okay.
If you find you have any of these bags, you can take them back to the store for a refund or just throw them away.
Or if you're real during, you can eat them.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you can eat them and just see what happens.
Take those side beds with your buddies.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Say, hey, which one of us is going to drop dead first?
It'd be like Russian roulette without the gun.
Exactly.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you can make a little game out of this, like who's going to get Listeria.
Yeah, I think it'd be fun.
I think so too.
I think that sounds great.
Speaking of Listeria, have you ever heard of gutter oil?
No.
Gutter oil or trench oil or sewer oil and tainted oil is all called, it's all the same thing, but it's called by these different names.
It can be used to describe the illicit practice of restaurants reusing cooking oil that had already been cooked with longer than safety codes permit.
It can also be used to describe the reprocessing of rancid yellow grease collected from sources such as restaurant fryers, slaughterhouse waste, and sewage treatment plants.
So people, this is in China, by the way, it's not here in America, but the uses of gutter oil is highly frowned upon and often leads to prosecution.
For example, selling gutter oil in China can result in a lengthy prison sentence of death or life in prison.
Too many other assortments, there's an assortment of punishments, and everyone, none of them is good.
And also, find the equivalent of 1.6 million if you sell over a certain amount of it.
So the first documented case of gutter oil in Taiwan was reported in 1985.
In the subsequent investigation, 22 people were arrested for involvement in a recycling oil ring over 10 years based in Taiwan.
The worst offender was sentenced to seven years in prison, that's all.
The first documented case of gutter oil in mainland China was reported in 2000 when a street vendor was found to be selling oil obtained from restaurant garbage disposals.
In 2011, they had arrested 32 people for producing the oil and had seized 90 tons of it in 14 provinces in China.
This amount is equivalent to that of around one-tenth of the oil typically used by restaurants.
And this is a growing trend in China as people are getting more and more stress for money and resources.
The more people like what I just talked about, what they're doing is they're going to these...
You can look this up online, it's really, really disturbing.
But you'll see this patch of sewage, okay?
And with this patch of sewage, on top of it you can see this... You know how grease kind of like stays together and coagulates in water or sewage or something, right?
You know how it stays together and it's thick?
People are actually dipping that out of the sewage and recycling that oil and selling it on the black market.
And people are buying it at a cut rate price and using it in people's food.
Wow.
Yeah. And anyhow, this is straight from Topher's desk. Topher's the one that unraveled this.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, and he was suggested maybe reporting on it and I finally got to it.
But yeah, it is a very disgusting trend and it could lead to all different types of problems, you know, sanitary, disease-wise.
But it sounds to me like China's kind of got their hands full with this new... Well, it isn't new, but it's actually on the rise again.
So gutter oil, like I said, as more and more people get stressed for money, for resources, for everything, the more that things like this is going to arise, such as gutter oil or sewage oil or whatever.
So, but let's go ahead and let's talk a little football, Rob. You want to talk some football?
Sure, why not?
Okay. Our beloved Kansas City Chiefs are 6-1 and probably, once again, the best team in football.
Only this time, it's not just their offense. They have a top five defense.
They have, because of the Tyreek Hill trade and other outlets, they have great draft picks from... You know, they got how many, what, six draft picks for the Tyreek Hill trade, right? Wasn't it like that?
Something like that, yeah.
Every one of them, including some of the draft picks used this year, have been used to enhance our defense mainly.
And it is a solid defense, and it is a work of art as of right now. They look fantastic.
And this team is built for a Super Bowl run, and this team will be there again, at the very least, if not there again.
So, I love all this stuff about how, you know, all people are like, they don't want to adhere to the new daddy in town, Patrick Mahomes, but you know what?
They're going to have to deal with them, because this team, again, is for real.
And, again, I don't know how people can keep poo-pooing it away, and, you know, the coasts are just like god-awful to anything that they consider flyover.
So, god forbid they give us any credit at all, but you know what? We don't need their credit, because you add another couple of Super Bowls to there, and it's over. It's over.
You guys can't deny it right now, and you're not going to be able to deny it in the future.
And I think it's funny. I think it's funny. Keep the hey, keep the snide remarks, because you know what? It just fuels us. It fuels the whole team more.
They read, they see what you say, they listen to those idiots like little Skippy Bayless and dumbasses like, yeah, who's the other one?
Was that Tony Romo the other day I heard on there fucking blathering some shit?
I think it was. I don't remember.
Yeah, so anyhow, the great Buffalo Bills look like they're in quite a bit of turmoil.
You know, ever since they lost that game to Cincinnati last year late in the year, the make-up game, the playoff game, they looked horrible in that game.
They looked horrible a couple of games before that, and they look horrible every other game.
And it's all they can do is to just win a game, let alone look like they did the last couple of years.
Cincinnati has been struggling mightily.
They're, you know, Baltimore is Baltimore.
I mean, they could make a strong run, but as to actually get to the Super Bowl, I don't know if you can do that with that type of a quarterback in the NFL.
You know, Sam Fran was looking like world beaters, but boy, the last couple of games brought purty and the whole thing has come down to earth quite a bit.
The game I'm interested in next week is besides the Chiefs Denver game.
Denver is always going to play us hard, but the game that I'm like most interested in next week is going to be Sam Fran against Cincinnati.
That's going to be one hell of a game, I think.
Yeah, I think that's a very good game.
I think it's going to be a really good game because neither team is playing particularly well, and both teams need to win.
Cincinnati already has what, three losses? They don't need a fourth one.
And Sam Fran has lost two games in a row and has not looked good doing it either.
So this is my game of the week, and I'm going to pick Sam Fran by one point on this game.
And yes, by one point Sam Fran, I'm picking him by one point.
And I think it's going to be a lower scoring game.
I think it's going to be like 27 to 24, 25, 26, probably 27, 24 to 23.
24 to 23 is what I'm saying.
You got any predicts on the game?
Ooh, I'm like you. I think it's going to be a low scoring game with a close score.
Yeah, and I think it's going to come down to a mistake.
Go ahead, I'm sorry.
I'm thinking 21-17 Sam Fran.
Okay, that's probably a better score than what I have up there.
So I'm going to stick to 24-23, but I think I like your score maybe a little bit better, Rob.
But you know what, I already made my pick and I'm going to stick with it.
Okay, cool.
All right, let's see here.
Let's take us a break and we'll be right back here in a couple of minutes, okay?
All right.
Okay.
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That's right, Brick Shithouse Energy Drink.
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Chimney balls.
You want to fuck shit up?
You want to force them across America?
Brick Shithouse is for you.
Please enjoy Brick Shithouse Energy Drink responsibly.
It's not readily available anywhere because of liability issues.
Help! Help! Help!
Oh, Lord, that man just saw a puppy in half.
Hey there, don't worry, I have a clown nose.
Oh, no! That drunk guy just hit my child.
It's okay, I have a clown nose.
Clown nose, just put one on and you can do anything.
Want to run for office? Murder people in public?
Just grab a clown nose and bam, everyone laughs.
Clown noses are sold at gag stores online and pedophile conventions.
Grab one today and make magic happen.
Somewhere in the heavens, your great Grammy Gertrude is crying because her little Bebo is listening to this film.
Alright, two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
Alright, Rob. You know, Uber eats every year. They come out with a weird foods pairing, like what the weird trends are the year, right?
Like, let's say people like ketchup and ice cream one year, okay?
Another time it's like, I don't know, pickles and jello or something, right?
These are odd pairs of, that are like trends. Odd food pairings that are trends this year.
And they come out, the later in the year, the last quarter of the year, such as now, they come out with the year of how the year of food looked in the weird trends, okay?
So, you want to hear some of the weird trends coming in from Uber Eats this year?
Sure, let's go for it.
Why not? What else are we going to do, right?
Yeah, we already told you what football was going to be like in the foreseeable future, so we might as well move on, right?
Let's move on to food.
Let's do it. Alright. Everyone has a favorite food pairing, whether it's classic like the Mighty Burger and the fries or controversial guilty pleasure like pineapple on pizza, which does not belong on pizza, but I don't know. What do you think, Rob?
Ah, no. No, it does not. My opinion.
No, my opinion too. Keep the pineapple in a side dish. I'll eat it. No problem. But keep it off my fucking pizza.
It's fine in another bowl. It's great in another bowl, but it doesn't touch my pizza.
No.
Alright. Now that I'm off my high horse.
On Thursday morning, Uber Eats released its fifth run edition of the Cravings Report. That shares a snapshot of the most popular, the most unusual, and some of the most surprising delivery requests.
Unique food pairings, trending products, and colorful demands fill the delivery company's yearly report.
Uber Eats shared a host of information on this year's report like lists of people's favorite and strangest food combinations.
The expected add-ons made the cut for most popular combinations, including a burrito bowl with cheese taking the top spot and other strong contenders like wings and ranch or chicken sandwiches with shredded lettuce.
However, some of the people opted for more untraditional combinations. At the top of Uber Eats' most unexpected combinations category was steak with jelly.
Can you believe that's a thing?
No.
Who would ruin a perfectly good steak?
That's what I would like to know, Rob. Whoever this is, they need to be beat about the head uncontrollably for, I don't know, three days maybe?
At least.
At least three days.
Yeah.
Yeah. So they ruined a beautiful steak with jelly?
Okay. Other zany pairings include condensed milk with avocados.
I've got no comment.
I've got no comment. We're just going to move right along.
Condensed milk with fucking avocados?
What the?
Okay. As promised, I'm moving right along, Robert.
Seaweed with pasta sauce and butter and pickled onions.
So pickled onions are those, you ever see the fancy garnish that's kind of pinkish?
Yeah.
That's pickled onions. It's really sweet.
Yeah.
So those two don't necessarily bother me because I think they're both kind of fitting.
Yeah. Yeah. Cottage cheese and mustard was a very popular unexpected combination.
A duo that was popularized on TikTok as the high protein dairy snack took center stage on the platform.
While the cravings report found that dry months are more and more popular with non-alcoholic beverages seeing huge growth on the platform in January, customers are still ordering some other drinks to wash down their dinner.
But it's tending to be more of a dry deal now. People aren't really ordering that much alcohol.
The most popular food in alcoholic pairing was reported to be a ribeye steak with vodka.
I mean, wouldn't you want to put something in that vodka though?
I mean, does it mean like a ribeye steak and a screwdriver or a ribeye steak and a vodka and tonic or something maybe?
I'm not sure.
So it was followed by a cheeseburger with a frozen margarita, which I'm all about that.
That would be good.
That would be a great start. And chicken with a frozen pina colada. Yeah.
I've done that many times on a cruise ship.
And Rob, I need to speak to you about cruises because there are some really affordable ones coming up.
So I'll talk to you later about it.
Customers also indulged in lobster tails with apple whiskey and tamales with daiquiris throughout the year.
I'm not so much for the lofter tail, but the apple whiskey and tamales with daiquiris throughout the year sounds pretty good to me.
Have you had apple whiskey? I am a fan. I am a fan of apple whiskey. I think it's pretty good.
So, okay. In addition to revelations on the different foods Uber Eats customers are ordering,
the platform also shared some insight on the colorful ways in which we'll place their orders by sharing a roundup of some of their most unique delivery requests.
Put it in a box instead of a circle container.
This is this is their most their weirdest request.
Okay, so one person did put it in a box instead of a circle container. I refuse to eat my any food if presented in the circle container.
Please don't ruin my meal for me.
Another user pleaded and asked the restaurant to literally drown my food in that amazing nectar, which he meant, which he meant is their sauce.
So that's cool. While some people were looking for their version of the perfect meal, others were looking out for people they love.
Could you please write a note on the coffee saying, hope you have a great day, Jojo. I'm proud of you.
And then another one, it's it's a girl I really like. Thanks a lot.
And then another one is aside from food, the platform reports that three most ordered items that weren't that weren't food, including Scott and sense of paper, toilet paper rolls, plan B, one step emergency contraceptic and at home COVID-19 tests.
So in case you didn't catch that one before,
the have a great Jojo and then the I'm proud of you.
It's a girl. What they were doing was it was a it was a reveal.
A child reveal. Yeah.
A sex reveal of a child on a on a coffee cup.
You'd have to see the illustration anyhow. I didn't describe it very good. So anyhow.
So, Rob, you got anything you want to go into?
Yeah. Pepper X has scorched its way into the record books as the world's new hottest pepper.
What?
Guinness World Records said Monday.
Please go for it.
This was this was October 16.
OK.
So like a week ago.
OK.
Ed Curry, the pepper expert who crossbred and grew Pepper X previously broke the record for the hottest pepper on Earth a decade a decade ago with the Carolina Reaper.
Curry developed Pepper X years ago, but didn't release it right away. He said in a first we feast video posted to YouTube.
He said he kept Pepper X in his back pocket case.
Any other growers release something hotter than the Carolina Reaper.
When no one came forward, he decided to bring out Pepper X.
So yeah, it's official. It's official. It's in Guinness.
OK.
Pepper X is the shit now.
Congratulations.
Congratulations to you, Mr. Inventor of Pepper X. Mr. Curry. Mr. Curry.
And Pepper X. I find it funny that his name his last name is Curry.
Like the spice. Yeah. And he invented the hottest pepper on Earth.
Right.
Irony in its finest, right?
I got through. I was thinking the same exact thing the first time I read it.
You know, there's a bartender that is he's online quite a bit and every year he comes out with the best equivalent drinks or alcohol mixes.
So in other words, he's going to tell you the well drinks, the well alcohols that you can buy that are as good as the top notch alcohol.
So you could you could use this in your own bar, your own restaurant for well drinks or whatever.
But he's like a really big deal on TikTok and on Instagram.
And what he does is he tells you what well liquors are the best to use and what are the highest quality.
And that way, whenever you you know, you have well drinks, you have good alcohols in them or as good as you can get for the price. Right.
So he says quality without the price tag bartender shares what well liquor to buy to stock your home bar.
So anyhow, he said, OK, when it comes to rum, he injects some humor.
He says, I can't talk about, you know what? Forget all that.
I'm not going to go into that because we don't care.
He said, OK, if you're going to go rum, he said, you can go with a Cruz on rum CRUZAN rum.
As he suggests a pineapple, he said, but don't do Malibu rum because he said that this is virtually the same thing.
And he likes coconut or or various other flavors of this one.
But he suggests Cruz on rum.
He he suggests prioritizing a triple sec bottle and blue curacao in the maze of liquor aisles.
Peach Snob, specifically due to Cooper brand, is also a favorite for the partial to white Russians or coffee flavored drinks.
He proposes Copa de Oro or over the famous Kahula brand and Ryan's as a replacement for Bailey's.
So, yeah, the mixers he calls the cocktail backbone.
A lot of things call for sour mix.
So get you a big jug of that, he states.
Margarita and Bloody Mary enthusiasts should also be prepared for the latter.
It says zigzag is the only way to go. Zing zags, zing zags.
I don't know what the zing bag.
OK, essential. I usually put that my bloody marriage.
Oh, OK. He says you can also go zing zag syrup, grenadine bitters.
And he said that they often work really well in the home bar.
So it sounds like you are even getting zing zag anyhow.
So when it comes to whiskey, he labeled this the most important part of your home bar.
He says that benchmark eight, ancient age 90 and very old Barton.
These bourbon whiskies are versatile, tasting great alone or in a cocktail.
And they are well drinks. They are the cheaper brand of drinks for whiskies.
He said for wines, a few bottles of wines, he advised picking up something sweet, something dry.
He says if you make a cocktail with the ingredients I've discussed today,
your guests are not going to know the difference between that and something really top shelf.
So anyhow, on wines, he said that you're just going to have to go through it and do some wine tastings.
He said that there is a lot, there's too many to mention of wines that are cheaper,
that actually taste as good, if not better, than the really high dollar wines.
So that's something that he says you've got to go through trial and error and figure out for yourself.
So anyhow, hopefully that will help someone out with a little bit of a home bar issue
or wanting to freshen things up or whatever.
So, alright.
So, a lot of people are like questioning Al Michaels now. Have you heard about this?
No, I have not heard about that.
Okay, lately many people...
I haven't read anything about it.
Okay, lately many people have been questioning that Al Michaels may have had his best commentator seasons
behind him since joining Amazon Prime as the lead anchor.
I've listened to him a few times this year watching Thursday Night Football.
I personally think it's a lack of quality games.
If there's a good game going on, he still gets into it and he's still very savvy at what's going on.
He's still very sharp and alert.
It's the lack of quality games is what it is.
Well, that could be too.
I'm pretty sure it is. He left NBC over the flex schedule.
He's older now and doesn't like to have his cities changed at the last minute.
He really just seems to get bored and then he just throws out a bunch of vague gambling references.
A bunch of clunkers like the Bears versus the Commanders or the Jags versus the Saints.
If I was him, I wonder how come he doesn't just start making loud fart noises.
People would enjoy that more.
Yeah, he should join two douchebags in a microphone and just be an idiot.
Could you imagine just Al Michaels just making fart noises through one of these boring ass fucking games?
We need somebody to.
Yeah. Manning Cass is almost like that.
I love it though.
They're over there just cutting up and doing all different kinds of shit.
Funny thing is, if you want to know the score of the game, you better start watching because they really don't keep that big a track of it sometimes.
So, anyhow.
It's cool though. I like Manning Cass. Do you like it? Have you ever watched it?
No, I have not. I have not.
Okay.
I need to. I need to.
It's a better alternative than Joe Buck and fucking Troy Aikman.
Yeah.
Then again, a kick in the nuts is a better alternative to Joe Buck and Troy Aikman.
True.
Yeah. A fucking lobotomy is better than Troy Aikman and Joe Buck.
A case of the clapper than a fucking electric can opener to your nuts is better than Troy Aikman and Joe Buck.
What else is better than Troy Aikman and Joe Buck?
Okay.
Anal warts?
There's quite a bit. Quite a bit.
Okay. All right. Okay.
Well, Rob, you got...
You can sit here and guess all night long.
You know what, Rob? The floor is yours. You got anything?
Did you hear Bridal Cave turned 75 years old last week?
That was a lot of candles, wasn't it?
Yeah, it was.
I didn't hear that, but that's cool. Go ahead.
Bridal Cave is Springfield, right?
No, it's here at the lake.
Oh, it's at the lake? Oh.
Yeah, that's fine. Up the road for me.
Oh, okay. All right. Go ahead.
Yeah, just outside Campton.
I forgot what lake I'm thinking of.
Fantastic Caverns is what I'm thinking of. Anyhow, go ahead.
Yeah, Fantastic Caverns is down by Springfield.
Okay. Okay.
Here's to another 75 years, a joint ribbing cutting ceremony
to recognize one of the lake area's top attractions was held earlier this week.
Several representatives from the Campton, Lake Area, and Lake West chambers of commerce
had a hand with management and staff of Bridal Cave for the ceremony,
which was also included Dave Klebeel.
Dave was also present as a nine-year-old on Bridal Cave's opening day 75 years ago.
Several other activities to mark the recognition also took place during the ribbing cutting.
Oh, yeah. I liked how they got him there and had him there for that.
Yeah.
He was at the original at nine years old.
Wow. That's pretty cool.
Yeah.
Yeah. Bridal Cave, I think I have been there, and it's just south of you guys, isn't it?
Or is it east? East?
Kind of a north-west.
Oh, it's completely different than I thought. Maybe I haven't been there.
Okay.
It's literally right up the road from here. Yeah.
Okay. Is it a walk or is it a drive?
It's right by the Ample Theater, which is on the corner of Business Five and South 5 Highway.
I think you're coming into Campton.
Is it a walk-through, drive-through, or both?
I believe it's a walk. I think it's both.
It's both. Okay.
I think they have a ride-through, but part of it is a walk-through.
Okay.
And they've got the gift shop and all kinds of stuff there.
Okay. Cool.
Do you know that only 7% of adults have a great deal of trust in the news media, the New Gallup Poll shows?
7%.
7% out of 100 have any great deal of trust in any news media outlet, any of them.
It doesn't matter whether it's Fox News, Newsmax, CNBC, fucking C-SPAN, whatever.
7%.
You think there's a problem there, Rob?
I would say so.
38% say they have none at all.
They think it's just all made up whatever.
The New Gallup Poll released this week found that Americans trust in mass media to report fully, accurate, and fairly is only two points higher than the lowest Gallup Poll ever recorded.
And I completely believe that. Completely believe that.
Yeah, I believe it too.
It's pretty easy to see.
Now, you know, you want to know a list of the top 15 cities for singles, single people?
Sure.
Okay.
Number one is Seattle, Washington.
And this is, they do a point system.
It goes by restaurant meal costs, average beer and wine price, average cocktail price, average price for a two-person meal, movie costs, average price for two tickets to theater, taxi fare cost, beauty salon costs, haircut costs, average price per party ticket,
average monthly fitness club fee, median annual household income, housing affordability, job growth rate, unemployment rate.
It also goes by fun and recreation.
Coffee and tea shops per capita, restaurants per capita, parks per capita, nightlife options per capita, shopping centers per capita, wellness centers and spas per capita, fitness centers per capita, social clubs per capita, and music festivals.
City accessibility, walkability, weather, and safety.
And dating opportunities is the other point system that they have on here.
Share a single population, singles gender balance, online dating opportunities, mobile data opportunities, and Google search traffic for the term Tinder.
So that would mean how many people are out there looking too, right?
That's true.
Yeah.
So number one, like I said, was Seattle.
Number two, Madison, Wisconsin.
So, okay, is that a college town, I think, maybe?
Yeah, yeah, I believe it is.
Okay, well, there you go.
Number three, Denver, Colorado, which I can believe because Denver, Colorado is huge on the little coffee houses and play houses and stuff that people like to do first dates on.
Downtown is full of these little knickknack places and all that.
It's cool.
Number four, San Francisco, California.
Number five is Portland, Oregon.
This one surprised me.
Minneapolis, Minnesota is number six.
Number seven is Austin, Texas.
I can believe that.
Number eight is Honolulu, Hawaii.
Number nine is San Diego, California.
Number 10 is Atlanta, Georgia.
Number 11 is Las Vegas, Nevada.
Number 12 is Tempe, Arizona.
Number 13 is Reno, Nevada.
Number 14 is Tucson, Arizona.
And number 15 is Boise, Idaho.
So that rounds off the list of the top 15 best cities for being single in.
Anyhow, we will be right back here in a couple of minutes.
Does that sound good, Rob?
Sounds good.
All right, we'll be right back.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.
It's strange insults from an alien.
Real hilarity.
May your spoon always slip and sink into your hot soup.
Two douchebags and a microphone.
The number one show for people that lie about their favorite podcast.
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.
Should I record frog sounds in the summer,
then play them when it's zero degrees on my ring doorbell for the Amazon guy?
Yeah, that sounds like fun.
Oh shit, what's that over there?
Oh no, it's the island of horrible jokes.
If I ever find that doctor that screwed up my limb replacement surgery,
I will kill him with my bare hands.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Oh, oh.
Douchebags and a microphone.
I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
All right, there is a new Gen Z trend.
And okay, Gen Z loves, I know we've been talking about Gen Z's quite a bit tonight,
but whenever I uncover information on them, I like to spew it out.
I just find it interesting them against how we grew up and how we thought of stuff, you know.
I find stuff like that pretty interesting.
So I hope everyone else does.
If you don't, break me off an email.
I have not got to the emails.
I know there's some of them there.
I know there's some people that have some sort of a beef with Rob over his hairy asshole.
I did see a little bit of it.
I will get to them as soon as I get a chance.
Hopefully tomorrow during the day I'll have some time to do this.
But Rob, I think you got some heat coming.
Uh oh.
Yeah, yeah, that one I, the one I saw kind of, I didn't get to read it all,
but kind of called you a fraud.
Said if you was a real man, you would post up your asshole pic today.
But I'll get to that later.
That was not Jerry and Montrose.
That was somebody else.
Let's talk about that later.
Okay, alright.
Um, the word crispy isn't necessarily one you'd associate with a can of Diet Coke.
But that's exactly what Gen Z is calling the popular drink when it's served chilled to perfection.
Now number one, I got a problem with that.
Can you chill Diet Coke to perfection?
Can you make that fucking bag of garbage taste good?
That by itself would be a science experiment.
Yeah.
You cannot chill a horrible taste like that into tasting good.
So automatically I wipe off this whole notion of a crispy Diet Coke.
A good Diet Coke does not exist, it simply is not, it's not possible.
With the recipe they have nowadays, whatever that garbage, Nutrisweet or whatever they put in it,
it does not work, and crispy Diet Cokes is a lie.
So while there's no denying Icy Cold is the ideal way to sip the Colt Fizzy drink,
the younger generation has determined you can take extra steps to take its crispiness to the next level.
The secret is all in the chilling, which involves storing the iconic silver can in a fridge for an extended period,
as well as additional icing methods such as excessive ice cubes and frozen glasses.
The elaborate trend dubbed the crispy Diet Coke is so popular
that there's almost one million videos showing thirst-inducing ways to guzzle cola on TikTok.
And they're all dubbed perfect crispy Diet Coke recipe.
Which I'm still arguing with, there is no such thing.
Rob, I give it to you, is there such thing as a good Diet Coke?
No, there is not.
So, automatically they're disqualified for lying to the public, right?
Yes. We could put them up for an ass-paddling for that.
You know what? Hang on, Rob. Let me get to my ass-paddling section here.
And, okay, hang on. Choo-choo-choo-choo. Are we going to do all of Gen Z?
Just the ones that take that.
Okay. Gen Z ass-paddling.
Diet Coke lovers.
Diet Coke lovers. All right.
All right. You guys have been forewarned. It's coming up.
I think, let's see, is it the next episode?
Or the one that... Yeah, I'll have to look.
We're trying to do them once a month because that's all the genie allowed us.
That was one ass-paddling a month. So, we've got to go by that.
So, the ass-paddling section is coming up. But, Gen Z, you're on notice right now.
You're on notice.
Rob, have you ever seen a yellow pumpkin on people's porches?
Yeah, I have.
Okay. Do you know what it means?
Not many, but once in a while I have.
Okay. Did you know there's a meaning behind it?
No.
I didn't either until now.
What it means to put a yellow pumpkin on your porch.
In the last few years, the iconic Halloween pumpkin has taken on a new meaning,
has been used to bring awareness to the needs of different children during the Halloween season.
So, if you see a yellow pumpkin displayed on a doorstep this year,
you'll know it's the home of someone who cares deeply about children.
The Halloween pumpkin trend was started by a woman named Laura Slatter
to raise awareness about a condition called aproxia of speech
and help make trick-or-treating more inclusive and enjoyable for all.
She got the idea after seeing teal pumpkins on front porches and learning their meanings,
which I never seen a teal pumpkin. I didn't know that was something either.
Aproxia of speech is a rare neurological condition that affects one's ability to communicate verbally.
Placing a yellow pumpkin on your porch signifies that children with special needs
or who can't greet you with a trick-or-treat will have the positive experience at your home.
Slatter's Yellow Pumpkin Parade project also uses yellow trick-or-treating bags
to help candy-givers easily identify children with disabilities,
to eliminate confusion and to create a sense of understanding and compassion
among those participating in Halloween festivities.
And why not? You know what? That's a good idea.
Yeah? I like it.
Yeah, I do too. So good for you. Good for them. Good for them doing that.
Sonic has come out with... Oh, go ahead. I'm sorry. Go ahead. No, you go ahead.
No, no, no. Go ahead. I just have one of my American songwriter lists for you.
Oh! Rob, no, go ahead.
Okay. I'm ready for this. Go ahead.
This is americansongwriter.com. Okay.
This is seven classic rock songs that they think are good for beginning guitarists to learn.
I love this. Okay. Go ahead, because I live by stuff like this.
Yes, I know you do. Because whenever I break out the amp and guitar,
this is the stuff that I go to. Because these people are right to put this out.
Anyhow, go ahead.
Okay. Number one, Horse of No Name by America.
Yeah. Probably two chords. Yeah.
I mean, really... The recognizable sound comes from slight variations on only two chords.
Oh, I was right. Okay. Yeah, you were. Yeah, well, you move your middle finger down on one,
and then you bring it back up. You move your middle finger down, then you bring it back up.
It's actually the same chord, just moving your finger. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, go ahead.
Number two, I Can't Get No Satisfaction by the Rolling Stones.
Yeah, it's a backward repeat is what I call it. That's where you play it forward,
and then you come back the same way.
Three note riff. Three note riff. Yep. Yep. That's a very good one, too.
Yeah. Number three, Wild Thing by the Tarogs.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I believe so.
That was Basic Chords, Transditions.
Yeah. What... I don't know. I've always known it was minor chords. Does that strike a bell?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Easy chords, too. That's what I've always called them. Minor chords.
That's what I've always heard them called. Yeah. Okay.
And number four, Iron Man by Black Sabbath.
Yeah. Yeah. You're climbing up the fretboard.
I don't... Okay. Yeah. I see that. Go ahead.
Okay. Here's what they had to say.
I'm not going to, but I'm not going to because it will bore a lot of people.
But the transition where you go da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da,
I have problems with rhythm like that, but I think most people don't.
Right. So go ahead.
Okay. Here's what they had to say about it.
It offers beginners a chance to delve into the basics of power chords and palm muting.
Yeah. That's what it says.
Well, I know you can mute the guitar with your palm to come up with a different sound.
I had no idea that was on Iron Man, though. Huh. Okay.
That's what it says. Okay.
I didn't know it either. Okay.
Number five, Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple.
Yeah. That's... Yeah. But most people play it wrong.
Right. I saw the way Richie Blackmore explained how he played it in a video.
And he takes one chord and just slides, slides down.
He doesn't do the three different notes, if you will.
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
He used it. Anyhow, you know what? Just look it up.
Look up Richie Blackmore showing how to really play Smoke on the Water.
Anyhow, it's completely different.
It may sound a lot the same, but it's completely different than the way most people play it.
Anyhow, go ahead.
Number six, You Really Got Me by the Kinks.
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. That's all the same thing. Yeah.
Power chords. Yep.
Hey, it's a great song. Yeah.
Yeah, Mr. Davies.
Finally, we have Day Tripper by the Beatles.
Hmm. Never really thought about that song as being easy, complex, or nothing.
It's just, it's one of those songs in the Beatles catalog that is good, but not great.
Right.
So I never really gave that song much thought, but I can believe it.
Cool. I like that list a lot. Is that all of them?
I'll do two. Yeah, that's all seven for today.
Cool.
Alright. So, how about if we go ahead and shut this bitch down,
then come back with Harry Ass Olympics Part Whatever.
That sound good?
Sounds good.
Alrighty. We will, everybody, thank you for listening.
Have a good night, and we are going to promptly get busy on the Harry Asshole Olympics Part 3, 4, whatever the hell it is.
So, thank you. Everybody, have a good night.
Good night.
Hey, where did everybody go? Where are the douchebags?
Oh my God, someone took a dump in the corner.
Oh, geez.
Glad they're gone. Let's just hope they don't come back.
Man, that smells.