Live from the historic river market in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the crystal blue waters of the Missouri River, it's two douchebags and a microphone podcast.
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Mate, you'll forever feel yourself vibrating. In the pocket, it's not even in your head.
Next up, Things Overheard in Hell.
Conrad Brady in the Las Vegas Raiders just won their 30th Super Bowl in a row yesterday.
This is Two Douchebags and Microphone. I'm Mark. And I'm Rob.
Hey, thanks for joining us. Anyhow, I got some interesting stuff here. You got some stuff too, Rob?
Yeah, actually, if you don't mind, I got one I want to start with. Let me pull it up real quick.
Okay, go ahead.
Unfortunately, we lost another star today.
And who would that be? I have not heard.
Suzanne Summers.
Oh, man. She made every guy's right hand. She gave him a carpal tunnel if they're right handed, if they're left handed.
She gave him a carpal tunnel on the left hand. Yes. Yeah.
Suzanne Summers, best known for her roles in TV's Threese Company and She's the Sherriff, has died at 76.
And this summer's longtime publicist R. Curry Hay shared a statement on behalf of the actress family with the news Sunday.
The actress who survived an aggressive form of breast cancer for over 23 years passed away peacefully at home in the early morning hours on Sunday, the statement read, which is today.
That's right. Wasn't she into holistic ways of treating breast cancer? It kept her alive for a long time. I believe. I think so.
Yeah, I believe if I remember that correctly.
Suzanne was surrounded by her loving husband, Alan, her son, Bruce, and her immediate family. The statement continued.
But she had a very. Her family was gathered to celebrate her 77th birthday on October 16th. Instead, they will celebrate her extraordinary life.
I want to thank her millions of fans and followers of her theory. That's cool. She would have turned 77 tomorrow.
OK, so she was 76. I think she lived a long time with breast cancer and she was doing holistic, I believe, types of treatment instead of traditional, you know, chemotherapy and all that.
I believe so. I'll have to look at it to make sure I'm right on that. But I believe that that was her thing.
She was going around talking to radio shows and all different kinds of different platforms talking about it, I believe, for quite a while.
Well, you know what? We wish you the most happiness in the great beyond, Suzanne Summers.
You know, you seem like a really good person and anyhow. Yeah. Yeah.
RIP. We really enjoyed your. Enjoyed you. Especially young men really enjoyed your presence on TV.
So, yes, anyhow. All right. I've got a straight from Topher's desk. Oh, good. All right.
Well, Topher did a little checking and he just wanted people aware of a lot of these companies that say they're American owned or no longer American owned.
Or omission. They act. They don't say anything about being sold and they never will. And they'll never really acknowledge it publicly.
But what they do is they lay low after they're sold and act like nothing happened, in my opinion.
And that way, it's not surprised. Yeah. That way, 90 percent of America who is too busy watching Tick Tock have no idea they're no longer an American company.
So Topher put together a little list here that he wanted me to relate to you.
Joe and Jane Podcast wanted you guys to know about these said companies that are no longer American companies, but owned by foreign corporations.
Number one popsicle brand. The original headquarters was Oakland, California.
It was purchased by Unilever. Unilever, I think is how they pronounce it. Unilever. Yeah, they do a lot of soaps and stuff like that.
And the country is England and the English own it.
Number two, Ben and Jerry's. You know, those peaceful. Yeah, those peaceful loving hippies. They sold out.
You know, the people who would never sell out and always fighting the man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Those folks.
Original headquarters, South Burlington, Vermont, purchased by Unilever country.
Yeah. Yeah. So you know, Levers like making some big big time, you know, moving and shaking here in America.
It sounds like. Yeah. Number three, Burger King or as I know them, Burger Bitch.
Original headquarters, Miami, Florida, purchased by restaurant brands, international country, Canada.
So restaurant brands, international. I knew that as a Canadian company, but I thought they I thought they opened up a division in America, too.
But I guess not. Not according to this. So anyhow, the their country is Canada.
So they're no longer American owned, it looks like. Number four, Trader Joe's.
Original headquarters. Go ahead. What were you saying? Oh, I was just going to say, really? Yeah.
Trader Joe's original headquarters, Monrovia, California, purchased by Theo Albright.
Country, Germany. So Theo Albright, I don't know if that's like one person.
Or an individual. Yeah. I mean, I guess it could be a corporation, but I don't know.
So you would think so. So Theo Albright, whoever that is, owns it now.
So number five, American Apparel. Original headquarters was Los Angeles, California.
It was purchased by Gildan activewear. And I had no idea Gildan was a Canadian company and from Canada and Gildan.
I mean, I have a lot of shirts that are Gildan because quite frankly, they're very comfortable, very affordable shirts.
I mean, you could buy like socks. Their socks are comfortable. Yeah. Yeah. And they're not really expensive either.
I like Gildan. I'm glad they're here for sale because I do use their products, but their origin is Canadian.
So anyhow, but I like them quite a bit like you do. And I do have quite a few of their products.
And I know this, if you're going to buy a lot of cheap shirts and print something on them or whatever, you go Gildan.
Everybody goes Gildan because you can get a great deal by a bunch of shirts from them.
So anyhow, the next one, 7-Eleven. Original headquarters, Dallas, Texas, purchased by Seven and I Holdings from Japan.
But around here, a lot of 7-Elevens were, and I don't know if they still are, owned by a company called Southland Corporation.
And they originated in Japan because 7-Eleven does franchise their companies.
QuickTrip doesn't, you know, QuickTrip owns all their stuff. If you're around the Midwest, I think they go maybe to Ohio now.
They go out west into Kansas and I don't know. I think I don't know if they're in Colorado.
No, you guys don't have them there. For whatever reason, they have them in Tulsa.
The origination of QuickTrip was Tulsa. That's their headquarters.
But anyhow, 7-Eleven would franchise 10, 20 of their stores.
And around Kansas City, Southland Corporation owned a lot of the 7-Eleven stores.
And they were from Japan because a good friend of mine worked there.
He told me, he said, man, our checks come from Japan because Southland is a Japanese company, is what he told me.
So I was like, oh, okay. So it does not surprise me that 7-Eleven is owned by a Japanese holding company.
So number seven, Sunglass Hut.
The original headquarters were Miami, Florida, purchased by Luxottica Group from Italy.
That sounds about right, doesn't it? All Italians wear sunglasses, right?
Yeah.
I even think they bury them in sunglasses, don't I?
Some do.
Okay. All right. Or at least we're going to go with that. Yeah. Okay. Anyhow.
It sounds good anyway.
It sounds great.
I'm going with it.
I'm going with it too. Yeah. I have a good authority.
The Italian consulate called me and they told me that that's what the deal was.
So anyhow. Okay. Okay. All right. Okay. Moving right along.
Holiday Inn. Original headquarters, Memphis, Tennessee.
Purchased by Intercontinental Hotels in the countries England.
We have an Intercontinental in Kansas City.
So that is owned by an English company.
And it was interesting because they applied for Urban Blight and they're on the plaza.
And I was like thinking that's absurd. Urban Blight on the plaza?
I mean for how much they charge their fucking rooms. How can you say blight?
My God. Intercontinental is like three times the price of any other four or five star hotel in my opinion.
I, I, anyhow, I was like Urban Blight. Fuck them. No.
But I think they got it is the sad thing.
So that's an English company that applied for it. Okay.
Number nine. Allegedly. Number nine. Yeah. Allegedly.
Number nine. Smithfield. They do all the pork products around here.
We have a Smithfield plant about two miles away from us.
They employ a lot of people. I knew some people that were employed by them.
Anyhow. The original headquarters. Smithfield.
Smithfield, Virginia. I guess that's how they got the name.
They took over farmland. Smithfield. Did you know that?
No, I didn't. Yeah.
Anyhow. The original headquarters. Smithfield, Virginia. Purchased by WH Group.
The country is Hong Kong.
Makes you wonder how much of that food they send to Hong Kong, doesn't it?
Right.
Next one. I don't know what this is. Iron Man?
You have any idea what Iron Man is?
No, I don't. Well, whatever it is.
I know where Iron Can is.
Okay. I'm sorry.
Whatever Iron Man is. Its original headquarters was Tampa Bay, Florida.
It is purchased by Dalian Wanda Group.
And the country of origin is China.
This next one got me, Rob. Forbes.
He has in Forbes magazine, as in the wealth people.
Original headquarters. Jersey City, New Jersey. Right across the bay from New York.
Or they were purchased by Integrated Whale Media from China.
Forbes. Forbes is a Chinese owned company.
Interesting. That's interesting. Isn't it?
That's very interesting these days.
I'm going to go on with a few more, but we're not going to take a crazy amount of time on this.
Because there are just so many. I could go on, literally go on all night.
Number 12 on this list is Dirt Devil.
Original headquarters was Charlotte, North Carolina.
Purchased by Tektronic Industries. And that is from China.
Number 13, Good Humor, which is ice cream bars.
And they may make other types of treats too, but ice cream is their most famous.
The original headquarters was Youngstown, Ohio.
And now they were purchased by Unilever from England.
Purina. Everybody knows Purina, right?
Everybody fed their dogs Purina at one time or another.
Or put their flea stuff on their dog or cat or whatever.
Purina. Great. Well known.
Formerly American owned company. Their original headquarters was in Nashville.
But it was purchased by Bridgestone from Japan.
So Bridgestone Tires, I guess, is a Japanese company.
Wow. Yeah.
Next one, Firestone.
Original headquarters, Nashville, Tennessee.
Purchased by Bridgestone. The country, Japan.
Fire? Yeah, Firestone is owned by Bridgestone.
I didn't pay much attention. I didn't know any of this.
I've been out of loop for a while.
Number 16, Gerber. You know, remember the famous Gerber baby?
Yeah. Everybody remembers him.
Great company. Feed babies. Reliable. Been around forever.
Original headquarters were Florham Park, New Jersey.
They're purchased by Nestle from Switzerland.
And now, let me go on to that.
Nestle, I think, was purchased by Swiss Miss.
And I think that's why it's from Switzerland.
Yeah. I think so.
So there's a connection right there.
Number 17, Hellman's original headquarters, New York City.
Purchased by Unilever from England.
So Hellman's Mayo, which is very good mayo. My favorite.
It's just got a better flavor to me. Unilever.
Number 18, Citgo. Citgo was a very well-known petroleum company.
Around here, they were paired up with 7-Elevens,
but it depends on where you go in the country.
They pair up with other convenience stores all over.
Some of them are on the interstates in the middle.
Citgo's very, very famous petroleum company from Houston, Texas.
Purchased by Portrealeoste Villawenza Country.
Venezuela. Italy.
No, Venezuela.
Yeah, I should have said that. I should have said Italy.
You're like, huh? Did I miss something?
Number 19, and we'll go to 20, and then we'll cap it off there.
Number 19, General Electric. But I knew this for a long time,
because I knew electricians and they don't like using GE products.
Original headquarters, Boston, Massachusetts.
Purchased by Hoer, or Hire. I think it's pronounced Hayer.
But I don't know. H-A-I-E-R. Hoer. I've heard it pronounced every way.
Appliance division only from China.
Number 20 is Motorola.
Original headquarters, Schomburg, Illinois, Chicago, basically.
Purchased by Lenovo in the country's China.
And if you ever use a Motorola phone,
you can pretty much guess that they had something to do with China, in my opinion.
So, anyhow, I got an interesting story that I ran across, Rob.
Okay.
You know the Osborns have a podcast out now, right?
Yeah.
Yeah. And it's decent.
I don't know. I like listening to it, but I find myself checking out quite a bit.
I think they're getting better as they go.
People probably do that to us. They probably like space off when we're talking.
I don't know. But, anyhow, they tell some pretty good stories on there.
And this one here kind of got me that they would even talk about it.
But do you know Sharon and Ozzy have a suicide pact?
Yeah, I do.
Yeah.
Sharon Osborn has confirmed her end-of-the-life pact with her husband Ozzy Osborn is still in place.
The famed couple plans to undergo physician-assisted suicide
if either of them is suffering from Alzheimer's disease, which I get.
Anyone that has ever seen anyone suffer from Alzheimer's would probably feel the same way
because it is a horrible, horrible condition and a horrible way to die.
So, I could, quite frankly, I could see that.
The pact was initially made in Sharon's 2007 memoir, Survivor, My Story, The Next Chapter.
After her father, Don Arden, died after battling Alzheimer's,
Sharon said watching her father's condition deteriorate was painful for the whole family
and he became a shell of himself due to the disease being believed to be hereditary.
Sharon and Ozzy both agreed they would want to be put out of their misery.
So, not only do they have a suicide pact, but they have, it sounds like they have a physician-assistance waiting.
Dr. Kvorkeon himself.
I guess. Is he still alive? Did he die?
I think he died.
I think he died, okay.
Well, someone like Dr. Kvorkeon, it sounds like they have him on retainer.
Well, now, we have looked into it. It could be legal over in England. I don't know.
You know what? That's true.
I don't know laws over there.
Yeah, me neither. I'll try to look that up.
It's illegal here, but.
Oh, by the way, by the way, Rob, I failed this. I was busy all day today.
I had to work and do some other stuff.
We got a structural engineer coming over tomorrow about some stuff going on in the house.
And we got, get shit moved around for him and he's going to be out first thing in the morning.
So, I had no time to text Topher over the tiebreakers. So, I don't have an answer on that.
I will get that to us here as soon as I get, I'm able to get a minute to do that.
So, yeah, because I promised answers tonight and I just, I simply, I don't have them because I didn't have time to.
So, but you know what?
I understand it gets busy.
Yeah. Yeah, it does. So, why don't we take us a little break and then we're going to come back with some more fun-filled shit.
Does that sound good?
Sounds good.
Fun-filled shit? You can't beat it, can you?
Hey, that's the best.
All right. Let's hear you say, Rob, fun-filled shit.
Fun-filled shit or free?
There you go. We'll be back.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper.
It's strange insults from an alien.
Real hilarity.
Lay your headphones snug on every door and door.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper.
It's strange insults from an alien.
Real hilarity.
You are just like a cloud. It's a beautiful day when you disappear.
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.
Should I throw away all my socks, then only buy 30 pair of one kind of sock?
Will they eventually not match up?
Hmph. I may never know.
All right. And we are back. Just like that.
Two douchebags and microphone were like that bag case of herpes.
You can't scratch away. That's us. I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
All right. I'm known as Herpes One. He's known as Herpes Two.
We're two stand-alone bumps that work in unison.
You're welcome, America. You're welcome.
Did you hear a thank you, Rob?
I thought I heard a thank you.
I thought I heard a thank one, too. So we're going to go ahead and go with that.
Well, if you thought you heard it and I thought I heard it, it had to be somewhere in between.
I bet it was Montrose.
Montrose loves us. Montrose is our number one market.
That'd be about right in between us.
It would be. Yeah. I'll bet you people at the old power plant are buzzing this shit all over in the boilers, right?
I bet they are.
Yeah, yeah. This time of the year is when they traditionally start fixing the boilers up
because I know this because part of my sheet metal training and experience was going out and working in these boilers.
The boiler maker is doing a majority of it, but on the outside of the boilers of these power plants, coal burning ones,
whenever you burn the coal that they have to burn, it has a certain degree of sulfur in it.
It creates sulfuric acid, which eats away the metal, and then we have to go in there and torch it out
and then weld new pieces of metal in it.
And this has to be done routinely.
So anyhow, I'm sure those people out there right now, they're cutting holes in them and replacing them.
They have two boilers there. They'll shut one down and do the repair, then keep the other one going, and then vice versa.
So I'm sure they're down there cutting out the boilers listening to us going, yep, because they know we love Montrose.
I mean, what could be better than a power plant and a junkyard, right?
Right, right. That's ultimate living.
Yeah, yeah. So Montrose, our number one market, we love you. The pride and joy of Henry County.
Yes, it is.
Yes. I mean, you cannot say Henry County without going, Montrose.
I went camping at Montrose when I was a kid.
Oh, did you?
Yeah.
Oh, do they have like?
That's a power plant. That's a power plant.
Awesome. I know people that fish down there at Lacine, still to this day, they fish at Lacine when it's 10 below.
Because the water that comes out of the boilers is like, I don't know, 60 degrees.
So it keeps the lake warm and absolutely no ice on it all year round.
And people be out there in their fucking thermals fishing all damn day. They're just excited they get to fish at that time.
And not ice fish, you know, like cut holes in ice or whatever.
Right.
Because that's dangerous around these parts.
And nobody ever anymore does the winter allow us to have anything iced over enough to walk on it.
So it's dangerous to ice fish around here because you may not be able to cut a hole in it because you may have just fell in it.
So anyhow, Rob, we turn to you. Do you have any neat little thing you want to get to? A little ha-ha?
Yes, I have an update.
All right, Rob. The floor is yours.
Something I just reported on one of the two shows last night.
Okay.
The family of Olympic gymnast champion Mary Lou Retton says she is making remarkable progress in her battle with a rare form of pneumonia that landed her in intensive care.
Kenny Kelly, one of Retton's four daughters, posted an update on Instagram Saturday that said that 55-year-old Retton's breathing is becoming stronger and her path to recovery is steadily progressing.
Though it's a lengthy journey, witnessing these improvements is incredibly heartening, Kelly wrote.
She's being, she's beginning to respond to treatments.
The family disclosed earlier this week that Retton, who became the first American female gymnast to win the Olympic all-around title at the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics, responding for life when they were unable to breathe on her own after being diagnosed with pneumonia.
Donations have poured into a fundraiser the family set up to help offset Retton's medical expenses. Good. After the family said she didn't have medical insurance, there's been more than 7,500 donations.
Excellent.
Over $415,000 by Saturday afternoon.
Hooray! Good! Good, good, good.
There's hope for her. Let's keep her in our prayers, our thoughts, whatever it is you do.
Yes, absolutely.
Yep, yep.
I've got a coffee study that I was going to get into on yesterday's podcast, but it's very lengthy so I decided not to.
You feel like maybe we should get into this right now?
If you want to.
Okay.
All right.
Number one, coffee is definitely one of my pastimes.
Like I said, when I used to go out of town for work all the time, a lot of guys would go to bars.
I was past that stage in my life. I used to go to bars when I was younger.
I don't want to anymore. I don't want to go in there and drink and hurt the next day and meat market, you know, I'm married.
I didn't want any of that.
So my thing was coffee houses. Coffee houses and the unique pastries they have or bagels that they have according to that area.
You know, like Denver had a lot of coffee houses in the downtown area with a lot of Italian pastries for some reason.
I think a lot of Italians owned them, owned the businesses there maybe.
And anyhow, they had some really neat biscotti, cookies and stuff that you could dip into the coffees.
And then Boston had a lot of them. I was trying to think of some of the major areas.
A lot of coffee houses with their own unique coffees and pastries.
And so coffee is like a pastime of mine.
I'm very into it, always have been for quite a while and probably always will be.
So anyhow, someone who read this, it didn't necessarily surprise me because I'm a coffee nerd.
I mean, I used to do, I don't do them anymore, but I don't think anyone really does them anymore.
But have you ever heard of a pour over?
Oh.
Okay.
A pour over is where they take a special blend of coffee, whatever that coffee house is known for.
And if they're a very good coffee house, they have their own blend of whatever.
This is in Nicaragua with a, I don't know, a Peruvian finish or something like that, right?
So pour overs where they take a cloth and they put it over the cup that the coffee is going to go into.
And in this cloth they have coffee grounds that are ground a special way.
And they slowly pour the hot water in there.
And that's how they brew the coffee.
It's like, it's actually brewed by hand for real.
And what it does is it's not as bitter.
If the barista knows what they're doing, it's the best cup of coffee you'll ever have.
All you need to do is put in some simple syrup, which is made out of cane sugar and water.
Basically, some people variate it a little bit, but it's basically sugar water.
You put a little simple sugar and stir it in there and the coffee is perfect.
So anyhow, this study, okay, what percentage of people drink coffee?
1,500 people surveyed, 74% of the people drink coffee every day.
The survey also found that 18% of people drink coffee most days and 8% of people drink coffee sometimes.
So that's almost 100% people drinking coffee.
Yeah.
How do people take their coffee?
Of those who do not prefer their coffee black, which is 59%, 49% of coffee consumers use normal sugar
and 34% of people prefer Stevia or similar zero calorie sweeteners.
On average, people use two packets of sugar in each cup of coffee.
Additionally, 48% of people use generic coffee creamers.
Number three, what age group drinks coffee the most?
The silent generation or the baby boomers, which are those born between 1946 and 1964,
is the age group that drinks the most coffee.
According to our survey, 84% of baby boomers drink coffee every day with 50% drinking three to five cups a day.
Additionally, retirees are most likely to drink coffee every day, 85%.
You see, that surprised me because a lot of the younger generation is into their Starbucks, into their coffee houses, right?
Yeah.
Well, I mean, I knew the boomers drank coffee, but I didn't know they drank that much coffee.
Oh, I did. I did.
Okay.
Well, you know what? You go into, I don't know, a Sap Brothers or what are some of the other big come and go?
Well, anyhow, you see them in there, you're right, drinking their old fashioned regular coffee in a mug.
You're right.
How much does the average person spend on coffee?
Most people, 54%, spend $20 or less on coffee from cafes or coffee shops each month.
Additionally, 56% of people will spend $11 to $30 each month on coffee each month on coffee to make it home.
Interesting enough.
To make it home.
Yeah. A study found that those who drink one, one and a half to three and a half cups of coffee a day have a 30% decrease mortality rate.
Drinking four more cups of coffee a day may lower the risk of strokes.
A Harvard study among 83,076 women in the Nurses Health Study found that drinking four or more cups of coffee each day was associated with 20% lower risk of stroke compared with non-coffee drinkers.
I find that interesting.
The love for coffee is deeply integrated in many cultures around the world.
It is not only a morning ritual or a pick me up during the day, but also a social experiment that brings people together.
As coffee enthusiasts, our market research company understands the significance of this beloved beverage and the fascinating statistics that are around it.
The shed light on the world of coffee, we have gathered the latest and most intriguing coffee statistics from a survey we conducted with 1,500 plus people across the US.
According to our research, three in four Americans drink coffee every day, 74%.
49% of people drink three to five cups a day.
32% of people purchase coffee from a coffee shop one to three days a week, with many spending $20 or less a month.
56% of people agree that coffee benefits their health.
39% of people report Starbucks coffee is their favorite brand, with 30% that prefer Dunkin coffee.
So, two in three Americans make coffee at home every day.
And now I do.
I do too, but I buy blends, I buy some local blends that I really like around here.
I don't use Folgers, but I mean, I know a lot of people use Folgers and they swear by it.
I mean, I used to, I was more of a Maxwell House guy.
That's what I was getting ready to say. That's what I normally drink is Maxwell House.
I like that better if I have to drink a regular brand of coffee, it's Maxwell House.
Yeah.
To me, Folgers...
Actually, I just recently started drinking coffee again. I quit for like five years.
Why?
And it went, well, I don't know. I just, it was messing with my stomach and I don't know. I just...
Okay, no, that's cool. That's all right.
And then that, the other night when I went to that 38 Special Concert, it was nice and cold.
We get back from the concert. She asked me if I wanted a cup of coffee. I said, sure, give me a cup.
I've been drinking a pint a day ever since, dude.
Cool.
A pint a day.
Okay, well, I could go that route. It gets me a little too jittery, so I really don't.
Yeah, dude, that's the problem I'm having. I'm cutting back a little bit. I'm going to start going like three fourths of a pot.
Okay. Here are coffee roast, coffee roast preference statistics.
49% of Americans prefer medium roast coffee, while others prefer dark 28% and light roast 12%.
Coincidentally, though, did you know that light roast has the most caffeine in it and not dark roast?
I didn't know that.
Yeah. I bet you a lot of people get the dark roast because I used to be one of these people.
The dark roast thinking there's more coffee in it or more caffeine in it. That is simply not true.
The light roast has the most caffeine.
So I wonder if like people get the get the dark, the dark roast thinking they're going to get more caffeine.
And why more people do the medium roast is because 49% of people do is because they wanted a little stout, but not crazy stout.
Right.
Because me, I like the taste of a medium roast better or a dark roast.
Yeah, me too.
But I liked a little bit more zip in a light roast, but it doesn't matter.
Only 11% of coffee drinkers have no roast preference. They don't care.
I can see that a lot of people just aren't that into it's just like, give me my cup of Joe and I'll be on my way.
Thanks. See you later. I get it.
Especially when they first open their eyes. They don't care.
Yep. You're right. 68% of people do not drink tea, decaf coffee at all. I'm one of them. Why?
Why in the fuck would you drink coffee if it's decaf?
That's pointless.
Yes. Yeah. It's like jerking off and then stopping before you climax. It's like, why did I do that?
That'd be like eating sugar free chocolate.
Oh, yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep. I agree.
Pointless.
Pointless. 18% of people strictly drink decaf coffee.
Well, that's only 18% and they're all deranged and they're not to be trusted.
If anyone ever tells you they like decaf coffee, hit them in the face as hard as you can and leave. Right?
Now, if they tell you they drink instant decaf, what might help?
Oh, yeah. Don't even bother hitting them because they're a psychopath.
No. Yeah. Don't waste your time.
And I'll go a step further. If they say they drink decaf coffee, instant coffee, and they like kale, shoot them.
Yeah. Yeah. Roll them with bullets and then tell the local authorities that this person drank decaf instant coffee and loves kale.
They will give you a hero's badge. I'll go, hang on a minute. Hang on. We got to get something for you.
They'll bring you back a little badge and go, thank you for doing the world a favor.
They'll give you the key to the city.
Yes. And this is sarcasm. This is hyperbole. This is...
Yes, it is.
Yes. We make jokes here or what we think are jokes even though they are or not.
So, of those who drink...
That's good enough.
Yeah. Of those who drink decaf coffee, 32%, 17% switch to decaf between 12 and 4 p.m.
Aw. Little fella just can't handle that buzz that late, huh? Aw. Well, bless your little heart.
Okay. 38% of Americans prefer coffee unsweetened. And I like unsweetened coffee only when you have a really good pastry that you can dip in it.
What say you, Rob?
I drink my coffee black.
Oh, you do?
I always have.
Okay.
Always have.
Okay. Cool.
You don't put any pastry or anything like that in it?
No. I mean, I might eat a donut chaser.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Black coffee with a donut with black coffee chaser is fantastic.
Oh, my God. Yeah.
Especially a glazed... just a glazed donut, right?
Yeah.
Yeah. Oh, those are good.
A hot glazed donut.
Got me hot.
Yes. Hot glazed donut with a black coffee chaser is immaculate.
Oh.
Oh, that's good.
That better tells you you're living your best life.
That's right. And if anyone doesn't like that, they're never to be trusted. You go home, you write down their name, and they are to have their hard drive checked, right?
Yep.
Yes. All right. Let's see. 32% of people purchase coffee from a coffee shop one to three days a week.
Both?
Yep. Yep. Yep.
56% of Americans strongly or somewhat agree that consuming coffee benefits our health. We already went over that. But this thing is compiled of different articles. I did this new program that I have. It's called like Shake It Up or something.
And it's where you put in a subject, and it finds different articles, and it blends them all together. Isn't that cool?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's really cool.
It is.
Okay, let's see. Over 2.25 billion cups of coffee are consumed in the world daily.
87% of Americans consider themselves somewhat or full-on coffee obsessed.
55% of Americans enjoy coffee cake.
Shop flavored lattes. What?
I like a good coffee cake.
Good coffee cake is really good. And it's aptly named. I mean, a coffee cake is great with coffee, coincidentally.
Yeah.
So.
Yep.
Shop flavored lattes are the most popular. Coffee order at coffee shops, which I agree, because you know, we go down to the City Market Coffee right in front of there is where we do the podcast when we can.
And we go in, I go into there, I even go in there on my off days. Me and Topher go down to City Market Coffee and have us a coffee. We try to do it once a week.
Only we're, we are going, me and Val and a couple of friends of ours are going to Eureka Springs mid-week, midway through this week.
So we're going to miss this week. But being around that coffee shop and coffee shops used to be one of my hobbies when I was out of town.
I could tell you that the shop based lattes are the most popular.
And I would say that an iced latte is probably a little bit more popular.
And hopefully it goes into that is a little bit more popular than a than a hot latte.
And then with lattes, I think the number one one that I this is from my own experience just watching.
I would say the number one milk that they have in it is skim and number two would be oat milk and number three would be almond.
And then I think whole milk is down the line a bit.
But that's what I've noticed around coffee shops. I've been at 39 percent skim.
Yeah.
Anyhow, let's see. Coffee drinkers prefer both drip 31 percent and Keurig 31 percent equally.
I'm not much of a Keurig fan. To me, it makes a coffee have kind of an acid taste.
Yeah, I'm not a big fan of it, but I know a lot of people love the Keurig Keurig.
Forty nine percent of coffee consumers use normal sugar.
Thirty four percent prefer stevia or similar similar zero calorie sweeteners.
Coffee drinkers, let's see, limit their coffee take to three to five cups a day.
Even if they want more coffee, they limit it to five cups.
Anyhow, that's pretty much the just of it.
Doesn't surprise me. Does it surprise you, Rob?
Not really.
No, not really.
Nope. Me neither.
All right. We will be right back with some more it is it is see and stupid stuff.
If I could talk. Be right back.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.
It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
May your five year old neighbor have all their violin lessons during all of your hangovers.
Next up, things over heard in hell.
Man, Axl Rose is such a great childhood therapist.
I hope you guys know.
Break shit house energy drink.
That's right.
Break shit house energy drink.
Make men and women grow.
Chimney balls.
You want to fuck shit up.
Run for a scum across America.
Break shit house is for you.
Please enjoy brick shit house energy drink responsibly.
It's not readily available anywhere because liability issues.
All right. Two douchebags and microphone on Mark.
And I'm Rob Red.
All right. So Rob, you got anything you want to talk about or anything?
Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do.
Okay.
I was supposed to do this last night, but somehow we skipped it.
So I probably got the blabbing.
I'm going to apologize for blabbing.
Why?
You know what? You're right.
It won't be the last time.
No.
So anyhow, go ahead.
That's an old West idea.
Oh, okay. Cool. We love those.
I haven't done one in a few days.
I'm going to go.
Okay.
Imagine a world where beds consistent strong.
Hey, without any bed frames to elevate them.
It may seem unthinkable today, but that was the reality of the past.
Comfort was a secondary concern.
Sleeping on straw.
Still preferable to the bare floor.
However, it was extremely difficult.
Proper sanitation and regular replacement of the straw.
So often it contract.
This led to some less than ideal sleeping places.
Often, often the hay beds were riddled with bugs and lice.
Other creepy crawler that nestled its way into the haystacks.
Hmm.
Wow.
Yeah.
I guess you appreciate modern convenience, doesn't it?
I think I'm probably going to have a hard time sleeping tonight after reading that.
Geez.
Imagine, just think of this Rob.
Imagine all the people like it wasn't uncommon.
They got a fucking spider bite and it killed them.
Right?
Like nowadays we get a brown recluse bite.
If you hurry, if you hurry, you'll live fine.
Don't get infection is the main thing.
Don't have an infection in your bloodstream because that can kill you.
A black widow is neurotoxin.
It affects your nerves.
If you get that, you need to go seek the anti-venom in a hospital immediately.
So there's other venomous spiders too, but the two most well known around these parts.
And I don't think we even have that many black widows.
Do you have that many down there?
Yeah, they're more common down here.
Have you ever seen one?
Yeah, yeah I have.
Okay.
And they're the real shiny black tarantulas are all over.
And yeah, they will make you sick too, but I don't think they'll hurt you.
Yeah, they'll make you sick.
Go ahead.
They're not the poisonous ones.
Okay, that's what I thought.
They're the ones that don't have a very strong venom at all, do they?
Yeah.
Okay.
Some types of tarantulas will really screw you up if they bite you or if they sting you.
But I would say around my parts there's a lot of brown recluses.
And if you go straight to the hospital, you'll be okay.
Because they will do certain things, get the poison out of you, give you certain things.
You'll most likely be okay.
So anyhow, think of all the people that just went to bed on one of these hay bales, right?
And there happened to be a poisonous spider there.
It bit him.
They woke up in the morning and said, hey, someone go over there and get Jeb.
Man, we got to go get after these hay bales.
And it's like, man, he's dead.
What?
Yeah, he wouldn't wake up.
He was blue.
They go over there and they're like, oh shit, look, look at that, a spider got him.
Isn't that a whole other world?
Yeah.
Yeah, that would be so freaky.
Be like, what happened to Jeb?
Well, we think a recluse got him.
We're not for sure.
Something got him.
I mean, snakes too.
You know, there are snakes everywhere.
I mean, a whole other world.
So all of these critters that were in there too, probably a lot of spiders, don't you think?
And probably some of them venomous.
Yeah, I would say so.
Scorpions can fuck you up too.
Around here, we have the brown one, which isn't deadly like the black one that's like, I think in the Southwest, right?
Yeah.
The ones around here, you have a lot more of them at the lake than we do here in Kansas City.
But the brown scorpion will take your hand and make it the size of a fucking football, but probably won't kill you.
I mean, if it gets you on the hand or something.
It gets you somewhere else, it'll give you a big lump and it'll hurt like hell and it'll be like really hot.
But most likely you'll be okay.
So anyhow, even scorpions will fuck you up.
So anyhow.
Well, another good old West hygiene, Rob.
Thank you.
Yeah.
All right.
Recently, as of the day before yesterday was Friday the 13th, right?
Yes.
Have you ever wondered where all these weird ass superstitions came from?
From Friday, Friday the 13th, why so many people are so freaky about Friday the 13th?
I have a list.
Sometimes I do wonder that.
Me too, because I know a lot of people that like won't do certain things on Friday the 13th.
I know people that if a black cat goes across their path, they will literally find a way to go the other way.
And, you know, so anyhow.
Okay.
So, well, I can't a lot of a lot of the Greek side of my family are very superstitious, too.
And that comes from over there.
They're extremely superstitious people.
So I can't really say anything because I have family members that are actually really superstitious, too.
But anyhow, Americans have long harbored suspicion of the number 13, given rise to the term tristecophobia.
The superstition surrounding the number has led to various peculiar practices such as buildings omitting the 13th floor.
You know, in Vegas, there's no 13 floors.
Actually, I don't think I don't think anywhere now.
I think that all the buildings they build do not have a 13th floor.
Goes from 12 to 14.
And airlines avoiding the 13th row on the planes, which they do.
The historical roots of the superstition can be traced back to the significance of the number 12 in Western traditions and various stories of 13 guests bringing misfortune.
Such a such a North mythology and the Last Supper of Jesus Christ, the union of Friday and the number 13th as an unlucky day can be attributed to sparse historical references and the notorious downfall of the Knights Templar on Friday, October 13th, 1307.
So it goes back a long ways.
The superstition was further solidified in the 20th century with the release of the movie Friday the 13th in 1980, sparking a lasting association with horror and misfortune.
Despite this is from 1440 Digest online, by the way, despite lacking statistical evidence of any increased misfortune Friday the 13th continues to captivate.
And the imagination of those consumed by tristecophobia as it approaches each year.
So anyhow, it sounds to me like it come from a couple of instances of misfortune on Friday the 13th and exploded into this big phenomenon where people are literally certain people are literally afraid to get out of their house that day.
So, okay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, anyhow.
All right. Well, I think we're going to go ahead and wrap off the wrap up this podcast and go on to the next one.
What do you think Rob you think that's a good idea.
Yeah, we're, we're about time.
All right, everybody thank you for listening and we, we shall talk to you on the next podcast so thank you for listening we appreciate it. I mark says thank you.
And I will say thank you. All right, we will talk to you guys soon have a great night or day or whatever it is you're getting ready to embark on.
Hey, where do they go. Where the douchebags.
Oh my god someone took a dump in the corner. Oh, geez.
Glad they're gone. Let's just hope they don't come back.
That smells.