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Live from the historic River Market District in downtown Kansas City, Missouri,

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from the banks of the beautiful Crystal Blue Walkers of the Missouri River,

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it is Two-Boosh Bags and Microphone Podcast.

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Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper.

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It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.

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You're as useful as a cannon with holes.

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Why two douchebags and a microphone?

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Because two fuck-notes and a recorder was taken.

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And now, deep thoughts with Mark.

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Man, I sure wish I was the garbage man.

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You know what I could do if I was the garbage man?

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I could go to the wrong parts of town on the wrong days periodically in the morning

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and then watch everybody run out of their house in their underwear

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with two bags of trash screaming,

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Stop! Halt!

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Yeah, that's what I'd love to do.

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Hey everybody, it's Two-Boosh Bags and Microphone. I'm Mark.

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And I'm Rob.

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Alright, well welcome to the program. Thank you for listening. Appreciate it.

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Yeah, we do.

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Yeah, we do. For real.

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And we have a few listeners out there and we really appreciate you guys.

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And thank you and thank you for being there and staying there and listening.

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Like I said before, our people that come back and listen rate is really, really high.

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So thank you. Keep listening, keep downloading, tell your friends.

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Like I've always said here, the best thing you can do is grab people's phones,

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download the show on them without their permission, doesn't matter,

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whether or without, grab their phones, download all our shows on their phone,

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go to their desktops, at work, church, wherever.

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Download all our shows there, go to Walmart, get on their computers,

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download all our shows on there. If you're a true fan, you will do that.

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And you'll get us at least 3,000 hits a day.

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Just you yourself, because you're going around grabbing people's private property

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and downloading their show on there without their permission.

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Doesn't that sound fair enough?

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Okay, yeah, yeah, it does. Now it does.

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Now when I first started on this show, I was taken aback with the old rude, Mark.

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Look, people don't pay for the show, right?

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I was just a call in now. Now that I'm co-host,

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Now you get it, right?

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Grab any phone you can find and download it. Come on.

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Buy ten phones and download them on every phone.

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If you're a fan, you'll do that.

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Yes. So anyhow, of course that's parody, but you know what?

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I got a story here, Rob, that's pretty interesting.

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Go right ahead.

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Alright. You know in Nashville there was three friends that took upon themselves

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to manage a hotel that was personless at the front desk for hours.

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Really?

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Yep. Three friends took upon themselves to manage a Nashville hotel for a few hours.

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After a late night of partying, the trio was unable to check into their room at Lakita Inn and Suites

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because there was no employees in sight.

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Was that in Omaha, Nebraska?

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No, it was Nashville.

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Okay.

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Why did you have the same problem?

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I say it to the Quinn and Omaha one night.

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Oh, oh yeah.

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I had a bunch of tools still off the back of my truck in a tornado.

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Totally different story.

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Wow. Okay. My only...

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And then they, you know, I was only there for like four to six hours sleeping

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and the hotel wouldn't do nothing about it.

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All they told me was you got to call the cops.

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Well, I got to get to work.

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I'm out of town, I got to get to work, finish up, so I can go home and deal with my family.

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Okay, so let me get this straight.

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You had your tools stolen and you had a tornado.

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Yeah, there's tornado sirens.

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There was like two foot of water running down Omaha streets that night.

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Wow.

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Like 11 o'clock at night.

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Yeah, I was working on all these.

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I was working on all these stores, back when I was doing all these stores.

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And we were redesigning the store.

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It was like a two-day trip.

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I went up to Campsville Bluffs, Iowa.

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Yep, yep, that's right next to Omaha.

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It's pretty much, it's a suburb of Omaha.

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Yeah, yeah, it's like half our apartment.

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That's where all the casinos are.

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Well, after we got done with that one, me and the district manager

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and some of the other managers headed up to Omaha.

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Well, we're there.

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They closed at like 9, 10, whatever.

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It was later than that, it was after closing.

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And we hear a tornado sirens going off.

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Thank God I'm in an F-350.

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Yeah.

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Because I needed it to drive down the road.

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I'm telling you, there was like a foot to two foot of water running down the road at the moment.

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Oh, wow.

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So there was a lot of flash flooding too.

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I'm at like 11, 12 o'clock at night trying to find a hotel.

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And I find Laquina Inn.

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I finally get in my room about midnight.

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Uh-huh.

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I get up at 6 a.m.

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Go out to the truck to leave to go back to all these two places of work.

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I look, one of my toolboxes has gone off the back of the truck.

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Oh, fuck.

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I go through my other big toolbox.

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They stole other tools.

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And so I go into the front desk and they say,

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well, you're going to call the local police and have them deal with it.

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I ain't got time for this.

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I got to get to work.

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I got to go home.

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You know.

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Uh-huh.

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I'm from out of state and I trusted your parking lot.

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You know, for six hours.

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And I have tools stolen in a tornado.

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Come on.

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That's fucked up.

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Yeah, they're crazy.

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They're crazy.

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Wow.

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Yeah, therefore I will never stay another night in Omaha.

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My night in Omaha was pretty nuts, too.

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I went to a concert there with a friend of mine and some people that I didn't know.

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And anyhow, it was Vince Neil, Queensryche, and Sebastian Bach.

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And there's another band in there, too.

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I can't think of who it was.

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Anyhow, let's see.

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So I'm there and I'm getting trashed.

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And so I take a cab back to the double tree downtown where I was staying, right?

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So I was going to, I was like, you know what?

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I need another beer.

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So I go there and I get the bartender's attention in the lobby there.

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The bar lobby.

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And I call him over there, hey, I'll take this beer.

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Okay, all right.

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Be right back.

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So I'm going to go use the bathroom.

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And I got lost.

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And I ended up in the kitchen of the fucking hotel.

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And I fell asleep in the corner.

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I more or less passed out in the corner of the kitchen.

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And the kitchen was closed.

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Nobody saw me until in the morning.

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So anyhow, someone come over there and I got a really nice room and everything.

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And I barely used it because I passed out in the kitchen of the, of the, because this is a bar and grill place.

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It's actually in the lobby of the double tree, right?

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Only the grill was closed because it was so late after the concert.

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So they found me more, hey, what are you doing?

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Who are you?

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And I'm like, well, I'm staying here.

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Okay, what room?

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I'm like, hang on.

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Let me look at the fucking, let me look at the card.

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Okay, 671 or something like that.

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And I'm like, okay, what's your name and all that?

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Okay, you're staying here.

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Yeah, I don't know.

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You know, I wandered off and I was like, wow, I wonder what ever happened that beer.

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And then the next day when I got back to Kansas City, I noticed they did charge me for it.

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So they figured out who I was.

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Yeah.

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Anyhow, not quite as, not quite as crazy as your story.

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But I love Omaha.

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I've been to Omaha a lot of times.

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I like the old orchard area.

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I actually have a cousin who lives about an hour, hour and a half over in Iowa.

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Okay, so.

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Over in Atlantic.

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And actually she's supposed to come down there again the day that we came with me.

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Oh, okay, cool.

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So you're familiar with the Omaha area and you like it too.

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A little bit, a little bit.

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The downtown area is pretty and a lot of park space.

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That was the nuttiest night I had.

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Oh, it had to have been.

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They've got that bridge that's like fucking hairy, the talking bridge or something like that.

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Then you go on there, you push it and it tells you about the bridge.

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It's a bridge between Iowa and Nebraska.

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Halfway, halfway past the Missouri River is Iowa.

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The other side is, you know, you kind of like stand in it.

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So, anyhow.

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Oh yeah, and the price they gave for that hotel room?

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Uh huh.

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Over a hundred.

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Oh, for La Quinta?

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Wow, for La Quinta Inn, that is, man, that's pretty pricey.

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So, okay.

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Okay, well the Sega, okay, we're talking about the, sorry, we got off track.

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Imagine that Rob, we got off track.

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Yeah, imagine that.

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Okay, so, anyhow.

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Let's see, where the hell was I?

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Okay, after a night of partying, the trio was unable to check into their room at the La Quinta Inn and Suites because there was, there were no employees in sight.

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The Sega was first documented on TikTok early Wednesday morning in a 40 second clip with a caption stating,

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When you arrive to the hotel and there's no staff so you have a new job.

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We've been working here for two hours.

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So they just took it over and just started working.

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After checking to make sure no one had fallen asleep behind the desk or in one of the back offices, the friends began to answer phones, greet customers, even set up the breakfast buffet.

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They did manage to find one employee, a maid, who didn't know what was going on, but said she had not seen anyone in a couple of hours.

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They also reached out to the general manager who was on a business trip in California and wasn't aware that there were no employees on the floor.

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So instantly we were like, we went into manager mode.

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We run business back home, all of them run businesses in trio.

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Manager mode kicks in, alright.

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Let's see what we can do.

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Kenzie, one of the friends, shared.

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The friends fielded several complaints from customers about unauthorized payments as well as lack of hotel personal availability.

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Police later showed up to hotel but gave them permission to do whatever they have to do as they began to leave, the friends reported.

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The friends recounted the table and that they all went around on the TikTok video and they all told their story of what happened.

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One friend was taking calls, the other was helping guests get checked in and checked out, and yet another was helping serve breakfast.

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They managed to hold the fort down until Lekitha and employees showed up.

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By then the trio managed to get everyone settled.

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The friends then asked if they could check into their room, but the employee told them that they would be charged a $25 resort fee.

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The general manager from another went in the hotel and resorts, made an appearance a short time later.

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They caught him up in the drama and that ensued and were met with other disbelief and gratitude for holding the hotel down.

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The manager told them that they were not charged with anything and that the crew headed up to the sixth floor to decompress in one of the rooms available thinking everything was fine.

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But as soon as they entered the room they spotted a naked woman inside.

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I wonder if they TikToked that, the naked woman.

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The lady proceeded to tell them she was a naked woman.

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I don't know, that might make me enough to want to join TikTok. Can you see stuff like that on TikTok? I don't know.

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I don't know, I've never been a TikTok guy.

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If you can see a naked woman on TikTok, I'm joining.

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Oh, okay. You know what I couldn't tell you? I say download the app and go from there. I don't know.

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The lady proceeded to tell them she would be staying at the hotel for the next two weeks.

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The friends let her know they were not trying to steal a room and that they had received the room key from management.

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They went down to the lobby for the last time and let the manager know what happened.

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Okay, so did the TikTokers stay or not stay at Lakita Inn after all?

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No.

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After they reported that they saw to the holding in general manager about the woman being naked, Kenzie asked if they could stay at the hotel.

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Can we please just stay at your hotel because this has just honestly been a shit show of a mess.

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The friends ended up with three sweets and three breakfasts after the manager made a call back to his hotel gushing over how amazing they had been.

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He took their contact information and said that he would be in touch.

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He said he will be in touch so I don't know what that means. Maybe we're getting a holiday inn, Kenzie joked.

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If they do get a holiday inn, the friends have asked their viewers to come by and stay with them.

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Lakita Inn and Sweets and Winamina Tales and Resort Property was not publicly commented on the incident. I bet they haven't.

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Kind of embarrassing, huh?

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Yeah.

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Yeah, your people don't show up so people out of the blue come in and run it better than the fucking Gil Wads you had fucking running it?

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So, huh.

237
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:17,000
Alright. Well, hey Rob, you wanna know something?

238
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,000
Yeah.

239
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,000
We got a Deer Douchebags.

240
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,000
Alright on!

241
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:28,000
Alright. How about we take this short little break here and we come back with a Deer Douchebags letter.

242
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,000
I can't wait.

243
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:34,000
Fuck yeah. Hang tight, Deer Douchebags coming right up.

244
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:44,000
Swimming in toxic masculinity and wiping their ass with politically correct wash rags.

245
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:50,000
Two douchebags in a microphone invade your ear holes in 3...2...1...

246
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:57,000
Break shit house energy drink! That's right, break shit house energy drink!

247
00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:05,000
Make men and women girl! Chimney balls! You wanna fuck shit up? Run a full scope across America?

248
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,000
Break shit house is for you!

249
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:14,000
Please enjoy break shit house energy drink responsibly. It's not readily available anywhere. Because of liability issues.

250
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:17,000
Two douchebags and a microphone says.

251
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:22,000
You ever dream about eating chocolate pudding and wake up with a spoon in your ass?

252
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:27,000
Just asking.

253
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:37,000
Deer Douchebags and microphone here on Mark.

254
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,000
And I'm Ralph.

255
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:43,000
Alright. With. Like I mentioned.

256
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:47,000
You know what I have with my evil little cluffs here?

257
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:50,000
A Deer Douchebags letter.

258
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:55,000
That's right kiddos. A Deer Douchebags letter. I know. I know.

259
00:16:55,000 --> 00:17:00,000
No need to thank us. They sent them in to us. And we just try to help.

260
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:06,000
But. Saying that. We're just here to help. Right Rob? Just saying that though.

261
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:09,000
We try the best we can.

262
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:14,000
Yes. So like we always say. Our advice is probably not great advice.

263
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:17,000
It's probably some of the worst advice you'll ever get.

264
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:21,000
And if you would hear our advice. You're on your own.

265
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:28,000
We guarantee none of this. As a matter of fact. We probably would be more apt to tell you to stay as far away from our opinion.

266
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:31,000
And what you should do than anything. Right?

267
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:35,000
And for the record. We do not have diplomas.

268
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:38,000
No. Well I do. I do. I.

269
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:42,000
So don't be filling us with malpractice.

270
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:45,000
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

271
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:49,000
We're just telling you Rob that. You take our advice. It's on you.

272
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:53,000
I do not have a Deer Abbey Diploma.

273
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:58,000
I do not have a psychology diploma.

274
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:01,000
So if I were you. I don't either. Yeah.

275
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:05,000
So. I can't get my kids to listen to me.

276
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:09,000
I think that's everybody Rob. We talked about that before we went on air.

277
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:14,000
Yes we did. And we can. If you want your rant tomorrow night.

278
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:17,000
We can fit your rant in tomorrow night if you want.

279
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,000
I've got to figure out a word.

280
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,000
That's what I was thinking.

281
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,000
So anyhow.

282
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:27,000
This morning. There's my kid. This millennial. This Jim Z.

283
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:32,000
Yeah. But like I said. I talked to my mom before I talked to you tonight.

284
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,000
Yeah.

285
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:41,000
And she told me. She's right. It's every generation. We don't listen to our parents.

286
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,000
Yeah.

287
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:45,000
That's what my rant's about.

288
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,000
Yeah.

289
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:51,000
And honestly it don't even have to be your parents. It's somebody your parents age.

290
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,000
Yes. Well I mean.

291
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,000
You do whatever you want anyway.

292
00:18:55,000 --> 00:19:00,000
Remember a couple of podcasts ago we were talking about how the generation right below.

293
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:03,000
The whatever generation is the polar opposite.

294
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,000
Yeah.

295
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,000
Yeah.

296
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:10,000
That's because when you're young you think everybody's crazy but you.

297
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:15,000
And now our kids would rather listen to our parents.

298
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,000
Yes.

299
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,000
Than us.

300
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:20,000
Yes.

301
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:25,000
My parents were boomers. My parents were born 46 and 47.

302
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,000
Mm hmm.

303
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,000
You know. So.

304
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:33,000
Yeah. So it is what it is. So.

305
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:41,000
Anyhow let's take a short pause so I can insert the title.

306
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:47,000
Let's do it.

307
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:58,000
Dear Abby. Not quite. You have questions. We have answers. They're not very good answers. But we have them.

308
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:07,000
All right. Dear Douchebags. I and all the other immediate neighbors on my block have a little issue on our hands.

309
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:14,000
We have a guy that loves to mow early in the morning. Now there isn't an ordinance to how early he can start.

310
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:18,000
So there is no legal action that could be taken.

311
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:25,000
He's been asked nicely enough to please wait until more proper hour to make the noise.

312
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:30,000
We don't really know how to get the city at the stop. Please help us.

313
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:34,000
Signed mowing too early in New Jersey.

314
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:38,000
Another great name.

315
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:41,000
I love it. I do. And I feel for it.

316
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:47,000
I do too. I've had that happen before and it sucks. You get woke up the ass crack and nothing.

317
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:55,000
Fucking some asshole out there fucking mowing with his headphones on, bobbing his ass like you motherfucker.

318
00:20:55,000 --> 00:21:00,000
Well let's see what the Douchebags came up with Rob. You think we came up with something good?

319
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,000
Was that a neighbor?

320
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,000
Yes.

321
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,000
Okay. Just a neighbor?

322
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:06,000
Yeah.

323
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,000
Makes a big difference in my defense.

324
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,000
Okay.

325
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,000
Okay.

326
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:19,000
Well, here is the Douchebags' reply and horrible advice.

327
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,000
Okay. Here's what it was said.

328
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:33,000
Well that really sucks. I guess since there isn't a legal recourse, maybe there's some evil trickery that perhaps could sway said asshole from such activity.

329
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:36,000
Number one. Remove his gas tank.

330
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:40,000
I have to stop going through my head before you even say that.

331
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:43,000
Is that what you thought? Really?

332
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:47,000
Oh yeah. Let's pay the dude back.

333
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,000
Of course. That's what you do.

334
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:53,000
Okay. Number one. Remove his gas tank. Simple.

335
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:58,000
Couple of minutes. One night. Boom. He ain't moving anywhere for a while.

336
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:05,000
And good luck ordering one. If it's a John Deere, it could be a half year before he gets another gas tank back in.

337
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,000
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

338
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:10,000
I think that's good solid advice. What do you think?

339
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:16,000
Yeah. Yeah. Alright. Like it. Like it.

340
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:20,000
I had something a little bit good with that.

341
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,000
No. Go with that.

342
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,000
Just take the whole gas tank.

343
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:26,000
What were you thinking?

344
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,000
I was thinking add sugar.

345
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:32,000
Oh. There's always that if he gets another gas tank.

346
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,000
I ain't gonna say no more.

347
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:35,000
Okay. Let me put it like this.

348
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,000
Add sugar.

349
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:37,000
You can add sugar if...

350
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,000
Everybody knows what I'm talking about.

351
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:42,000
Here. Here. I got this Rob. Here's what I got for that.

352
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:54,000
Okay. If the guy gets a gas tank and puts it back on immediately and then starts doing it again, then I think you would be more likely to add sugar. Right?

353
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:55,000
That's when you'd be more likely than baby Ruth.

354
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,000
Yeah. That's when you'd be more likely than baby Ruth.

355
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:57,000
That's when you'd be more likely than baby Ruth.

356
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,000
Yeah. That's when you'd be more likely than baby Ruth.

357
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:01,000
Yeah. Baby Ruth that fucking tank up really good?

358
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,000
Alright.

359
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:07,000
Tank, motor, yeah just like putting sugar in a gas tank of a car. You really lose his motor.

360
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,000
No. I mean the people I knew through baby Ruth.

361
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,000
That's the people you really hate.

362
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:16,000
Yeah. Throw baby Ruth in there and it'll lock that engine up quick.

363
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,000
Not that I would know anything about that.

364
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:24,000
I mean I've never done it myself. I know people that have. So.

365
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:38,000
Number two you could do. Place grub worms scattered in his yard. They'll let one armadillo loose over his fence. In three hours he won't have any grass to speak of. No grass to mow. It's done.

366
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:45,000
And you live down south. Are armadillos that bad?

367
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,000
They can chew up the worm.

368
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:50,000
That right there my friend is the answer.

369
00:23:50,000 --> 00:24:05,000
Yes. They will make your yard not only look plowed. They'll make your yard look plowed and dis because they literally go through the whole patch of yard. They can do it in an hour. They'll root up the whole yard fighting these grub worms that they eat.

370
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:09,000
The hell with the grub worm. Just throw the armadillo in.

371
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,000
Oh. Okay.

372
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:18,000
I had a guy from work that spent countless hours trying to armadillo's outside his back door.

373
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,000
Oh. They.

374
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:24,000
He was up to like 12 o'clock, 1 o'clock in the morning. You know.

375
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,000
It's amazing how much.

376
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:28,000
And he's got to order 5's to 8.

377
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:31,000
They can go through acreage in one night. I'm not kidding you. One armadillo.

378
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,000
Oh my god. Yeah.

379
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,000
I mean they are fast on his own.

380
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:38,000
I don't know if you had the grub worms. Yeah I had the grub worms.

381
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:44,000
Yeah the grub worms would just make sure that they smelt them and they would just chew up the whole yard.

382
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,000
And they'll stay in that yard.

383
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,000
Yes that's why I say. The armadillo will stay in that yard. Good point.

384
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:54,000
That's why it was said to add the grub worms. Is because they will stay in that yard.

385
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:59,000
So. And you might de-grub worm your whole yard before you do this by the way.

386
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:02,000
Go ahead and put some grub kill out there.

387
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,000
Throw the armadillo in there.

388
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,000
And they won't get to sleep.

389
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,000
Alright.

390
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:09,000
Alright.

391
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:12,000
Number 3.

392
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:20,000
Fill his rain barrels partially with grass killer concentrate.

393
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:24,000
Yeah you put those in rain barrels.

394
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:27,000
Then the rain barrels fill up as concentrate.

395
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,000
They go to spray it on their lawns.

396
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:36,000
And boom. They don't have any grass left either so he's not mowing.

397
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:43,000
Haven't you ever used that grass killer concentrate getting rid of some grass on like I don't know maybe like a mulch bed or something.

398
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:44,000
Yeah.

399
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:45,000
It would work.

400
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,000
All you do is you locate his rain barrels.

401
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:53,000
And just put a couple of cups of that concentrate in there.

402
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:58,000
When he goes the water is on it's done.

403
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:01,000
Number 4.

404
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:04,000
I've worked with condos. I know some of them.

405
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,000
Number 4.

406
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:13,000
Scatter 20 lug nuts and 2 pounds of gravel all over his lawn.

407
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,000
That'll do it.

408
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,000
He'll be breaking out shit eating him. No he'll hit.

409
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,000
Oh bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea.

410
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,000
Was that? Was that?

411
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:24,000
He goes mow his lawn and you get your windows broke out.

412
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:25,000
Oh.

413
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,000
Okay. Bad douchebags.

414
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:30,000
Number 4 is a dog. Bad douchebags.

415
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:34,000
Yeah that's the one you did not run across me.

416
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:35,000
Okay.

417
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:36,000
I would have called that one when we did go.

418
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:37,000
Bad douchebag.

419
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:40,000
I don't want my windows broke out getting revenge on him.

420
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,000
Okay. Good point.

421
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:47,000
Alright or finally last but not least.

422
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:51,000
Install a spring loaded dilbo in his John Deere seat.

423
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,000
Hopefully he isn't into pegging.

424
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:57,000
Good luck asshole.

425
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:58,000
And if he is into pegging.

426
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:01,000
He's out there mowing 7 o'clock in the morning.

427
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:04,000
He's going to be on that mower all the time if you do that.

428
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:09,000
So you thinking anyone that mows at 7 a.m. is into pegging and he would love that spring loaded dilbo.

429
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,000
He's going to like that dilbo.

430
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:12,000
He's going to love it.

431
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,000
Okay another bad advice. You know what?

432
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:17,000
You're on your own asshole. I don't know what to tell you.

433
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,000
Good luck.

434
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,000
No we had it.

435
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,000
Oh was that it? Oh okay.

436
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,000
On the dill and glub booms.

437
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,000
Okay there you go.

438
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:27,000
Alright that's all you need to know.

439
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:32,000
Alright another satisfied customer.

440
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:33,000
Hopefully we can help.

441
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,000
Another satisfied customer.

442
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:36,000
I'm so proud of us.

443
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,000
I'm getting teary eyed.

444
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:44,000
That sounds like the best defense to me.

445
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,000
I'm getting teary eyed at our.

446
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:49,000
Because if you go messing with the mower.

447
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:52,000
There will be criminal charges.

448
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:53,000
Okay you're right.

449
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:57,000
Yeah just order a dill and glubs.

450
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,000
Alright Rob I'm getting teary eyed.

451
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:04,000
Our level of dedication towards our listeners.

452
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,000
Are you?

453
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,000
Oh yeah always.

454
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:09,000
I care about our listeners.

455
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:12,000
I want to give them the best advice we can.

456
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:16,000
Let's all do a virtual hug right now.

457
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,000
You out there.

458
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:18,000
I'm there buddy.

459
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,000
My arms are open.

460
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:21,000
My arms are open too.

461
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,000
Come on in bring it on in.

462
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:24,000
Come on.

463
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:25,000
Come on.

464
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,000
Oh come on a little bit.

465
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:28,000
Come on.

466
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:29,000
Closer.

467
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:31,000
I told you you're not there.

468
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,000
You guys know us.

469
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,000
Come on man.

470
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,000
We've been talking a long time right.

471
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,000
Come on bring it in.

472
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:38,000
Give us the sugar.

473
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:39,000
Give us the glubs.

474
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:40,000
There we go.

475
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:41,000
Oh there we go.

476
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,000
I'm feeling everybody.

477
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,000
Oh that is close.

478
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:44,000
Hey.

479
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,000
Yeah.

480
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:46,000
What the hell man.

481
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,000
What you got in your pants there.

482
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:49,000
What the hell was that?

483
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:50,000
Hey.

484
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:51,000
Whoa.

485
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:52,000
Whoa.

486
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:53,000
Whoa.

487
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,000
You know what.

488
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:55,000
We should have known this.

489
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:58,000
Anyone that listens to us will get out of hand right.

490
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:03,000
Actually that felt good.

491
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:04,000
Alright.

492
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,000
Rob.

493
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:08,000
We turn our attention to Rob.

494
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:10,000
How do we follow that up?

495
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:11,000
We follow it with you.

496
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:14,000
Do you have something you want to talk about or?

497
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:15,000
Yeah.

498
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:16,000
Hang on.

499
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:17,000
Alright.

500
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:20,000
I'm going to go ahead and put up those last comments.

501
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:21,000
Alright.

502
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:22,000
I'll tell you.

503
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:30,000
Have you heard the rumors about Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson might be brothers?

504
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:31,000
Yes.

505
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:34,000
Okay here we go.

506
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:48,000
Maury Povich just offered to come out of retirement to help Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson

507
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,000
figure out if they should share a father.

508
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:50,000
This is on dsider.com.

509
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:51,000
Uh huh.

510
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:52,000
That's awesome.

511
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:59,000
This video obtained by E News, Povich told the stars he heard about the possibility

512
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,000
of them sharing a father.

513
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:05,000
I mean Matthew I don't know you he began.

514
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,000
Woody you're my pal.

515
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:08,000
But guess what?

516
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:13,000
I would come out of retirement we could do a prime time DNA.

517
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:16,000
Maury's back with Woody and Matthew.

518
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:19,000
You know what and they do even look alike.

519
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:21,000
Woody and Matthew do look alike too.

520
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:22,000
I could see it.

521
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:27,000
Actually I was looking at the picture and the more they talk about it oh my god.

522
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,000
Yeah they do.

523
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:31,000
Man that would be awesome.

524
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:35,000
And do it Maury Povich.

525
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:43,000
The dad and the mom knew each other and yeah there's a chance they could be.

526
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:45,000
Sounds like he was breaking her down like a shotgun.

527
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:49,000
Maybe their mom is a little bit of a loose Lucy huh?

528
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:50,000
You think she's a Lucy?

529
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:51,000
I mean come on.

530
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,000
Think she's some dirty leg?

531
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:55,000
Come on.

532
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:59,000
I think this is Woody Harrelson's dad.

533
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:01,000
I think Mima is a little bit of a dirty leg.

534
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:02,000
What do you think?

535
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:05,000
And Matthew McConaughey's dad.

536
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,000
I think Mima got around.

537
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:11,000
Them two have about the same history.

538
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:14,000
Yeah I think Mima had them spread.

539
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,000
I think Mima had them spread.

540
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:17,000
What do you think?

541
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:18,000
Yeah.

542
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,000
Mima was a dirty whore.

543
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:25,000
Yeah Maury Povich has said he would cut my retirement to announces.

544
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:28,000
He's just doing that because he wants to meet their mom.

545
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,000
I know what that old nasty is doing.

546
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:36,000
Mrs. Harrelson or whatever McConaughey or whatever.

547
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:40,000
We're going to find out if you're a filthy whore.

548
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:43,000
But first touch this.

549
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:46,000
I know you will.

550
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:50,000
Social media is going to find out.

551
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:52,000
Social media is going to tell us.

552
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,000
We're just going to report it.

553
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,000
Obviously Mima you're a filthy whore.

554
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,000
So you won't mind.

555
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:02,000
So you got some other stories you want to go into?

556
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:05,000
You got something real quick?

557
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:06,000
Yeah sure do.

558
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:09,000
I got some invisible haspavlins.

559
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:12,000
Oh well hell.

560
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:15,000
There is no way I can beat an haspavlin.

561
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,000
Ok then.

562
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:28,000
Alright well since we just took a break we can't do the dramatic break and then put like Satan in there and you know and deep thoughts with Mark and all that stuff.

563
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:30,000
So we're just going to go straight into the haspavlin.

564
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:33,000
How's that?

565
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:38,000
Hey after the week I've had I'm ready for an haspavlin.

566
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,000
Alright.

567
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,000
This time I bet you're going to hurt.

568
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:45,000
Ok first off on the docket for an invisible haspavlin.

569
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:47,000
Oh I got to explain it first.

570
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:53,000
Alright for you newbies out there everybody you know we have a high listenership retention.

571
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,000
We appreciate it.

572
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:59,000
So most of you people who are listening to this will know what an invisible haspavlin is.

573
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:03,000
For the people that do not know.

574
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:07,000
Me and Topher the two creators of this thing at first.

575
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:12,000
And I think Topher might be leaning towards doing a segment here and there for us.

576
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:16,000
And recording it probably at his home studio the NoFilter Studio.

577
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:18,000
This is the Talk is Cheap Studio.

578
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,000
At the NoFilter Studio.

579
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:24,000
And sending it to me and then I'm putting it on a podcast.

580
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:29,000
It might be like Topher's Corner or Fuck You or Eat My Dick or whatever he wants.

581
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:30,000
So.

582
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,000
Anyhow me and Topher are walking on the beach.

583
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:36,000
We are not holding hands due to popular speculation.

584
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:40,000
Rob go ahead I know it's coming.

585
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:44,000
You have your doubts about it go ahead go ahead.

586
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,000
I'm going to be nice. I'm going to be nice.

587
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,000
Okay we were not holding hands.

588
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:52,000
We were simply being friends walking on the beach.

589
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:53,000
And all of a sudden.

590
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,000
I will say I still question that.

591
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:57,000
I knew that was coming.

592
00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:00,000
We were not holding hands we were walking on the beach.

593
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:03,000
And all of a sudden I stubbed my toe and I'm BOOM.

594
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:04,000
And I fall on the ground and Topher is like.

595
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,000
Ah ha you fucking dumb ass.

596
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:09,000
I go no there is something back there in the sand.

597
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:11,000
We go back there and it's a bottle.

598
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,000
And it's capped off with a cork.

599
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:16,000
And I'm like hey let's open this bitch up.

600
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:17,000
Maybe there is a genie there.

601
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:18,000
And Topher is like.

602
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,000
Ah fuck you're an idiot.

603
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,000
Open it up and poof a genie comes out.

604
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:23,000
And then me and Topher are like.

605
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:25,000
Yeah yeah we get three wishes and the genie is like.

606
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:27,000
No no no no.

607
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,000
Let me dispel some of the common myths.

608
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,000
One.

609
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:33,000
One fucking wish and that's it.

610
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:34,000
I don't give you three wishes.

611
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,000
I'm not hanging around you losers that long.

612
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,000
I'm giving you one wish.

613
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,000
And I'm getting the fuck out of here.

614
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,000
So choose wisely bitches.

615
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,000
So me and Topher look at each other and say.

616
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:47,000
Hey let's be invisible once a month.

617
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:50,000
So we can deliver ass paddling to people that need it.

618
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:54,000
The genie rolled his eyes and almost didn't grant us the wish.

619
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:57,000
But he had to because that's just the way genies work.

620
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,000
And he's like fuck.

621
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:00,000
He goes I can't believe it.

622
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:04,000
He said you know pollution, world starvation, wars.

623
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,000
And you guys fucking picked this.

624
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:09,000
And he really didn't want to give us the wish but he did.

625
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:13,000
So that is how invisible ass paddling is.

626
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:16,000
Once a month we turn invisible.

627
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:20,000
One of us holds the victim down or the person that needs it.

628
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:23,000
And the other one takes a giant wooden paddle.

629
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:27,000
And swaps the person on the ass for an unspecified amount of times.

630
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:30,000
Depending on how we feel about he or she.

631
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:34,000
So that is an invisible ass paddling.

632
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:37,000
So number one on the list this month.

633
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:39,000
Marilyn Manson.

634
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:42,000
And do you know why Rob?

635
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:43,000
Why?

636
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:46,000
I've got the story and I'm going to go to it maybe next.

637
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,000
Because I'm going to go in and out the story right now.

638
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:52,000
Marilyn Manson ass paddling?

639
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:58,000
Because he hawked a loogie on a video guy and he got sued.

640
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:01,000
Okay that we did.

641
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:06,000
I like Marilyn Manson so I live.

642
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:10,000
Well I do too but what he did was really you don't hawk a loogie on somebody.

643
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,000
That's fucking disgusting.

644
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:13,000
Yeah you don't do that.

645
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,000
That's just disgusting.

646
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:17,000
That motherfucker needs a fucking smack.

647
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,000
He needs an ass paddling.

648
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,000
You know and maybe he'll straighten up.

649
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:24,000
And if I do it again after that it will be like man my ass is sore.

650
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,000
These guys taught me a lesson.

651
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:32,000
I may be Marilyn Manson but I'm not above discipline and I deserve what I got.

652
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,000
Right?

653
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:35,000
Yeah.

654
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,000
Okay.

655
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:39,000
Number three.

656
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,000
Or no number two.

657
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,000
Mitch McConnell.

658
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,000
And that's because he keeps freezing up.

659
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:48,000
Not knowing where he's at for a minute or two.

660
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:52,000
Denying there's anything wrong and denying stepping down.

661
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:54,000
This has happened maybe three or four times now.

662
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:58,000
He'll just freeze up, look blank, not know where he's at.

663
00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:00,000
And everyone's like what's going on?

664
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:01,000
Nothing's going on.

665
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:02,000
Why?

666
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:03,000
Why do you say?

667
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:06,000
It's like well you know we're not stupid people.

668
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:11,000
We see something's really wrong there inside and we're denying it.

669
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:14,000
But obviously you got something going on inside that's not good.

670
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:17,000
And maybe you need to address it.

671
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:20,000
But no, no, no.

672
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:21,000
Number three.

673
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:22,000
Elon Musk.

674
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:23,000
Again.

675
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:31,000
Just because not only is he in the Hall of Fame but I think I'm just going to keep paddling his ass every time I get a chance.

676
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:33,000
Sound good?

677
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:36,000
Yeah.

678
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,000
Number four.

679
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:41,000
General Motors.

680
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:45,000
Because their CEO makes like 300 fucking million a year.

681
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:49,000
Or Toyota's CEO makes like maybe 1.5.

682
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:50,000
Something like that.

683
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:51,000
I'll have to look it up.

684
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:54,000
But it's like a really, really big disparity.

685
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:58,000
I mean just such a huge amount of difference.

686
00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:01,000
Is there a Toyota plant in John City?

687
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:02,000
No.

688
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,000
No?

689
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:04,000
Damn it.

690
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:05,000
Nope.

691
00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:06,000
Okay.

692
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,000
Nope.

693
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,000
We have a GM and a Ford plant and we did have a Harley plant.

694
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,000
Yeah, yeah.

695
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:12,000
I know a GM.

696
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:15,000
I'm looking for some place for my son to get a job at.

697
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:18,000
I can get him on at the end.

698
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:19,000
You know what?

699
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:24,000
I'm going to write you down some places because I was in construction a great number of years.

700
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:29,000
And I've got some places that are always looking for people.

701
00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:33,000
Well, you know, me and you will talk later about that.

702
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:34,000
Yeah, yeah.

703
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:35,000
Yeah.

704
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:40,000
Yeah, because I'm going to need to talk to you about that.

705
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:42,000
Okay, I've got some solid places.

706
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:43,000
So, okay.

707
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:46,000
No, I'm talking housing and everything.

708
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:48,000
I'm going to need some place.

709
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,000
Yeah, I've got some ideas.

710
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:51,000
Anyhow, you know what?

711
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:54,000
When it gets a little bit closer, I'll go ahead and you know what?

712
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:55,000
I mean.

713
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:56,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

714
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:57,000
Right.

715
00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:58,000
Like I said, we've got a little time.

716
00:38:58,000 --> 00:38:59,000
Okay.

717
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:00,000
All right.

718
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:01,000
Next one.

719
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:07,000
Daniel Jones for fucking ripping New York Giants off on a huge contract not being able

720
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:09,000
to throw a ball.

721
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:13,000
I mean, gosh, that guy got away with one.

722
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:17,000
Damn, the contract that they fucking signed him to.

723
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:20,000
I cannot argue that one.

724
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:24,000
Yeah, he looks like a deer in the headlights every time he's out there.

725
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:25,000
Yeah.

726
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:26,000
Yep.

727
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:27,000
Next one.

728
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:28,000
Taylor Swift.

729
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,000
Leave Travis Kelsey alone.

730
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,000
We don't need him to be a Swiftie.

731
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:31,000
We love the guy.

732
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:32,000
We don't want to hate him.

733
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:33,000
I don't want to hate him.

734
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:46,000
I keep reading story after story after story about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey.

735
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:48,000
People are so enamored.

736
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,000
I haven't been official yet.

737
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:53,000
It's annoying as fuck.

738
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:56,000
And I could have asked Paddle about them, but no.

739
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,000
I still like Travis Kelsey.

740
00:39:58,000 --> 00:39:59,000
Taylor Swift, fuck you.

741
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:02,000
I hope you get asked Paddled for the rest of your life.

742
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:08,000
I hope Travis comes to his senses.

743
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:09,000
I hope so, too.

744
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:15,000
It's really starting to bother me.

745
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:21,000
I'd hate to have to burn my Kelsey jersey over Taylor Swift.

746
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:23,000
Yep.

747
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:24,000
Yep.

748
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:27,000
I cannot stand her.

749
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,000
Yep.

750
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:31,000
I have my reasons.

751
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:36,000
I think we all do, don't we?

752
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:40,000
Yeah, well, mine even run political and she's just a stupid bitch.

753
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:42,000
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

754
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:43,000
I agree.

755
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:44,000
My opinion.

756
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:45,000
My opinion.

757
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:46,000
No, no, no, that's fine.

758
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:51,000
Rob, you can have your opinion and mine might just be just like yours.

759
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:52,000
Who knows?

760
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,000
But you know what?

761
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:58,000
Travis Kelsey, part.

762
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:01,000
Everybody feel free to eat a big bowl of shit.

763
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:06,000
If the chiefs was religion, my homes would be God.

764
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:08,000
Travis Kelsey would be Jesus.

765
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:11,000
Yep.

766
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:12,000
Yeah.

767
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:13,000
Yeah.

768
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:16,000
We got Jesus going after Bathsheba.

769
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:24,000
Who would Andy Reed be?

770
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:25,000
Mary or Joseph?

771
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:28,000
Joseph.

772
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:36,000
Which disciple was sitting off in the corner eating a cheeseburger?

773
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:38,000
That was Blitzen, right?

774
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:41,000
No.

775
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:42,000
Yeah, that was Blitzen.

776
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:43,000
That was Disciple Blitzen.

777
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:44,000
Wimpy.

778
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:45,000
Yeah, Wimpy.

779
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,000
Yeah, that was Disciple Wimpy.

780
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:48,000
He was the one eating.

781
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:50,000
Disciple Wimpy, yeah.

782
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,000
I'm going to take you next Tuesday.

783
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:53,000
Yeah, that's it.

784
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:54,000
Yeah.

785
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:56,000
Hey, I got a question for you, Rob.

786
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,000
This is a Kansas City thing, okay?

787
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:00,000
And I just want to know if you remember.

788
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,000
You remember Wimpy's on Trust?

789
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:03,000
Yeah.

790
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:05,000
Yeah, wasn't that a great cheeseburger?

791
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:07,000
Oh, it was awesome.

792
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:08,000
Yeah, they're no longer there.

793
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:11,000
They hadn't been there in probably 25, 30 years.

794
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:14,000
But my God, I remember going there.

795
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:18,000
And on Tuesdays, they had the two cheeseburgers for one price.

796
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:23,000
Oh my gosh, you could barely, it took like an hour to get your food, but you didn't give a shit.

797
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:28,000
You stood out there in that grabber park and not wait for those two delicious cheeseburgers.

798
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:29,000
Yep, Wimpy's.

799
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:31,000
That was a great place.

800
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:35,000
Okay, and now that you mentioned Wimpy.

801
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:36,000
Okay.

802
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:39,000
I ran across a thing on Facebook the other day.

803
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:40,000
Uh-huh.

804
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,000
Do you remember Smacks?

805
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,000
Yes, I love Smacks.

806
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:47,000
Well, there was one in Independence.

807
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:48,000
Independence Avenue.

808
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:51,000
And there was one there at the corner of Main Street in Grandview.

809
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:54,000
Yes, there was. It's now a good one.

810
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:59,000
Yeah, and on Facebook everybody was talking about the one in Independence.

811
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:02,000
I said, I grew up going around in Grandview.

812
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:05,000
And then I started getting people following in on that.

813
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:07,000
Okay, there was also one on Independence Avenue.

814
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:09,000
I loved that place as a kid.

815
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:12,000
The Smackeroo, remember the Smackeroo?

816
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:13,000
Yes.

817
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:20,000
Yeah, the Smackeroo had like two beef patties, lettuce, cheese, onions, special sauce, an onion ring.

818
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:23,000
Oh, it was good.

819
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:26,000
And as a kid, that was the greatest, man.

820
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:28,000
Yeah, Smackeroo was the best.

821
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:31,000
Smacks was better than McDonald's at that point.

822
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:37,000
The Smacks was right across the street from Thatcher Elementary School in northeast Kansas City.

823
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:40,000
And I got to go there a couple of times.

824
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:45,000
But then it went out of business because of, I believe if I remember correctly,

825
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:50,000
remember a deal about them selling horse meat?

826
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:51,000
Yeah.

827
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:54,000
Possibly bought from organized crime.

828
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:55,000
Odd stories.

829
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:57,000
Yeah, I remember that.

830
00:43:57,000 --> 00:44:04,000
Yeah, well anyhow they went out and they replaced it with McDonald's and everybody was pissed.

831
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:09,000
Because McDonald's was good back then, but it was no Smacks.

832
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,000
Smacks was the shit.

833
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:17,000
The last Smacks that existed was the one in Banister Mall around Kansas City.

834
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:18,000
Yeah.

835
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:20,000
And that was there for quite a few years.

836
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:27,000
The Smacks that I went to was right on the corner at Main Street and Grandview.

837
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:33,000
You know, okay, Main Street and Grandview, like you're heading towards the courthouse and all that.

838
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:35,000
Yes, yeah.

839
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:42,000
That corner, that left-handed corner, the corner right there, the outer road and Main Street.

840
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:44,000
Smacks used to be right on that corner.

841
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:53,000
Yeah, and the one I was thinking of, where the Burger King is now in Grandview,

842
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:55,000
was actually a jack-in-the-box.

843
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:59,000
The Smacks was over there, like you said, on the other side of the freeway.

844
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:00,000
Yeah.

845
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:03,000
Yeah, we're talking about 71 Highway.

846
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:05,000
Right, right, 49 now.

847
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,000
Yeah, I-49, it's also 71.

848
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:08,000
Well, that's sad.

849
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:12,000
I'm two and a half hours away, and I got used to it being called 49.

850
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:15,000
I used to it being called 71.

851
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:19,000
Yeah, well, old school still calls it 71, but them and...

852
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,000
Yeah, everybody I know calls it 71.

853
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:22,000
Yeah.

854
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:24,000
Only the nerds call it 49.

855
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:29,000
As soon as they call it 49, we beat them up.

856
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:33,000
Well, 79 Highway...

857
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:35,000
71 Highway...

858
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:38,000
71, yeah, anyway, yeah.

859
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:39,000
Oh, well, who cares?

860
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:41,000
One's a highway and one's an interstate.

861
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:44,000
Yes, one's a U.S. highway, one's an interstate.

862
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:49,000
And the reason they did that is because they went all the way to New Orleans with it.

863
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:55,000
They wanted a north and south highway, or freeway, besides I-35,

864
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,000
that goes straight down into New Orleans.

865
00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:02,000
I-35 goes through Texas, and this one goes through Arkansas, Louisiana,

866
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,000
all the way to New Orleans.

867
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:07,000
I-49 does, so...

868
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:09,000
Damn, it does, don't it?

869
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:11,000
Yeah, well, that's why, that was the whole idea.

870
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:15,000
I knew it got done in Arkansas, but you're right.

871
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:18,000
It does cut off and head that way.

872
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:22,000
The whole idea was to take a lot of 71 Highway,

873
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:25,000
which is already interstate pretty much condition.

874
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:27,000
It just didn't have all the overpasses.

875
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:31,000
And it took it way down to virtually Arkansas,

876
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:36,000
and then it went past Arkansas, past Springdale for a while there.

877
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,000
They'd been building on it for a while.

878
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:41,000
And then finally, then they switched it over to Interstate 49.

879
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:43,000
They connected it all together.

880
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:46,000
So, anyhow, it's a great idea, because they did need it.

881
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:49,000
It's just, I still like to call it 71 like you.

882
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:52,000
So...

883
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:54,000
Yeah, that's what we grew up with.

884
00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:56,000
Okay, next one.

885
00:46:56,000 --> 00:47:00,000
DirecTV and Nextar, both of them.

886
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:03,000
And that's because their fucking feud

887
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:07,000
costed millions of people across America

888
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:13,000
two fucking weeks of NFL football.

889
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:16,000
Great games that I could have watched but couldn't,

890
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:18,000
because they decided to have their little feud

891
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:21,000
and not show them on DirecTV's stream

892
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:25,000
or on the dish.

893
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:27,000
And it was bullshit.

894
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:29,000
Could have been avoided because the price,

895
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:33,000
if what I read is correct, the price isn't that far off.

896
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:36,000
They're just trying to bully the other one and flex their muscle.

897
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:39,000
And you guys both need your ass paddling at the same time,

898
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:41,000
naked, bare bottomed.

899
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:45,000
That sound fair?

900
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:47,000
I'm right there with you, buddy.

901
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:49,000
I got second swing.

902
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:51,000
Oh, good, good.

903
00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:54,000
We can take turns on them since it's two of them.

904
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:57,000
Like I could paddle Nextar and their ass.

905
00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:59,000
I got third, I got fourth.

906
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:00,000
Just keep it going.

907
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:04,000
Bare ass, bare bottom, naked, over our knee, right?

908
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:05,000
Okay.

909
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:06,000
Everybody.

910
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:08,000
Any ass paddling.

911
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:12,000
And also, if you're a victim of this

912
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:14,000
and missed a couple of football games because of this,

913
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:18,000
you're welcome to come in and paddle their asses too.

914
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:22,000
All you got to do is fill out a slight form,

915
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:24,000
taking about 30 seconds.

916
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:26,000
It says, yes, my name is Frank,

917
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:28,000
and I would like to paddle their ass

918
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:31,000
because they made me miss football.

919
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:32,000
And that's it.

920
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:34,000
Hey, there we are.

921
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:36,000
Everybody has their email address.

922
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:39,000
Email us your request to paddle their asses with us.

923
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:45,000
And we'll even read your name off if you want to paddle their asses.

924
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:48,000
I will read your name off on air.

925
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:49,000
Let's say Billy.

926
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:53,000
Billy wants to paddle Nextar and DirecTV's ass

927
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:55,000
for these shenanigans that they just pulled.

928
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:57,000
And then I'll come on air and go,

929
00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:59,000
hey, Rob, I got an email.

930
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:01,000
You know, Billy wants to join in on the ass paddling

931
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:03,000
of Nextar and DirecTV.

932
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:07,000
And then, Rob, what will you say?

933
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:10,000
I'll say, bring it in.

934
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:11,000
All right.

935
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:12,000
So you can have my sleep.

936
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:14,000
The more paddlers, the merrier.

937
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:16,000
No, no, no, no one takes our swings.

938
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:20,000
We get the swing, but they do too.

939
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:21,000
So.

940
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:22,000
No, you and I get first.

941
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:23,000
They get the rest.

942
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:24,000
Oh, OK.

943
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:25,000
All right, cool.

944
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:26,000
Yeah.

945
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:27,000
All right.

946
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:28,000
So there's going to be a long line behind us,

947
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:29,000
though, hopefully.

948
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:30,000
Yep.

949
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:31,000
Next.

950
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:33,000
Because other people feel the same way

951
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:35,000
about the people we talk about.

952
00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:36,000
Yeah.

953
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:38,000
Yeah, well, I know they do.

954
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:39,000
I know they do.

955
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:43,000
I'm about to bring Eron up for another one.

956
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:44,000
OK, we'll get to that here.

957
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:46,000
I'm almost done with this list.

958
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:47,000
No, not tonight.

959
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:49,000
He's looking on it.

960
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:50,000
Oh, OK.

961
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:51,000
All right.

962
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:52,000
Next one.

963
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:55,000
Idiot parkers at the city market.

964
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:59,000
And every time I go park at an end of the road

965
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:02,000
so they can't box me in so I can get in my fucking car.

966
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:06,000
And every time some motherfucker parks in a no parking zone

967
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:08,000
and boxes me in.

968
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:10,000
Tovra thought I was going to kill someone the other day,

969
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:12,000
and I really thought about it.

970
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,000
Because some motherfucker went into no parking zone

971
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:17,000
just to block me.

972
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:19,000
Stupid fucking people.

973
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:23,000
Dude, it sounds like you've had the week I have.

974
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:25,000
I'm tired of stupid people.

975
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:27,000
No, stupid people everywhere.

976
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:31,000
At this point, I would rather hang out with animals than humans.

977
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:32,000
Same here.

978
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:34,000
And I love what George Carlin always said is,

979
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:38,000
is I mean, fucking animals is the way to go.

980
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:39,000
Hang out with animals.

981
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:41,000
People are stupid and do stupid shit.

982
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:43,000
Animals are cool.

983
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:45,000
They're not out to ruin your fucking day.

984
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:48,000
They're just there being a cool animal.

985
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:52,000
People are out there to ruin your day because they're stupid fucks.

986
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:54,000
So.

987
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:55,000
Yeah.

988
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:59,000
We talked about kids before we went on there.

989
00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:00,000
Yep.

990
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:01,000
Next one.

991
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:04,000
Sirius XM again.

992
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:07,000
And that is because their programming really,

993
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:09,000
I mean, I like some of their stuff,

994
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:12,000
but their program is really subpar anymore.

995
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:17,000
They've really not invested anything in getting good younger talent on the air,

996
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:20,000
good younger talk people.

997
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:22,000
It's just like the same old same old.

998
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:24,000
And they've been stale for quite a few years.

999
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:28,000
They took and they bought into the Howard Stern, that miserable idiot.

1000
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:30,000
And they think that he's their savior.

1001
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:33,000
Well, no, he's ruining the company with his brand of bullshit.

1002
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:38,000
And his brand of drivel and droning on all the time.

1003
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:41,000
He just, man, in my opinion, he's like one of the worst.

1004
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:45,000
And anyhow, they're really haven't added anything very much anymore.

1005
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:46,000
And I don't know.

1006
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:48,000
I'm just like, I just think they suck.

1007
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:52,000
Even only paying like six bucks a month, they still suck.

1008
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:54,000
And then next.

1009
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:57,000
The New York Jets and artificial turf show.

1010
00:51:57,000 --> 00:52:06,000
They share and ask paddling for probably ruining Aaron Rodgers career.

1011
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:10,000
I keep hearing more and more complaints about the artificial turf.

1012
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:12,000
It tears people's knees out.

1013
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:19,000
Everybody says the new artificial turf is supposed to be more like grass,

1014
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:21,000
but it's worse.

1015
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:24,000
It's what the athletes are saying.

1016
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:26,000
Without a doubt it's worse.

1017
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:28,000
Without a doubt.

1018
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:34,000
Yeah, it's not good.

1019
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:38,000
So let's take a break and we'll be back here in a minute, OK?

1020
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:39,000
All right.

1021
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:43,000
When taking a shower, remember to scrub your asshole with soapy water

1022
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:49,000
because nobody likes a stinky asshole.

1023
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:52,000
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

1024
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:55,000
It's strange insults from an alien.

1025
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:57,000
Real hilarity.

1026
00:52:57,000 --> 00:53:02,000
Mate, your headphones snag on every door and entrance.

1027
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:05,000
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

1028
00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:08,000
It's strange insults from an alien.

1029
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:10,000
Real hilarity.

1030
00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:17,000
You are dressed like an assistant event coach at an Ohio State middle school.

1031
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:20,000
All aware of the Amber Alert, right?

1032
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:23,000
Well, get rid of your disinfectants and rubber bedspreads, kids.

1033
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:26,000
It's the all new Amber Heard Alert system.

1034
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:29,000
This fantastic early warning device helps one stay dry

1035
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:32,000
in spite of all those annoying mattress invoices.

1036
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:35,000
Simply hook up to child under six or psychopath

1037
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:37,000
and wait for the running water sound.

1038
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:39,000
This clever machine has three distinct settings.

1039
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:43,000
Bablin Brooks, ocean waves, and roaring river for those close calls.

1040
00:53:43,000 --> 00:54:02,000
Order today and get a free Cinnabon Renuzen cartridge.

1041
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:06,000
Alright, two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark.

1042
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:08,000
And I'm Rob.

1043
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:16,000
Alright, I am currently looking for a Marilyn Manson article.

1044
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:19,000
Oh, here it is right here. I thought I'd had it.

1045
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:26,000
So, I alluded to the Marilyn Manson Ask Bablin I was talking about earlier, right?

1046
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:27,000
Yeah, yeah.

1047
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:34,000
Okay. Well, I've got the article right here.

1048
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:37,000
Okay, so here's what happened.

1049
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:42,000
The 54-year-old, whose real name is Brian Warner,

1050
00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:47,000
appeared in court Monday and was charged with two misdemeanor counts of simple assault

1051
00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:51,000
following the incident during a 2019 concert in New Hampshire.

1052
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:55,000
And this just came out, so I mean, I don't know why it took so long,

1053
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:59,000
maybe because of COVID, for him to go to court over this and plea.

1054
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:03,000
Manson pleaded no contest to the charge of nose blowing,

1055
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:09,000
meaning that it means he does not contest the charge, but he does not admit guilt.

1056
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:13,000
The plea was part of the deal that saw prosecutors agree to dismiss...

1057
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:18,000
Oh, okay, it was a plea deal, so I've been in court for a while. I didn't understand that.

1058
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:19,000
The plea was part of...

1059
00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:23,000
Yeah, and just so you know, when you have money, you can put court off for a while.

1060
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:25,000
And that's what he has done, clearly.

1061
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:26,000
The same, the same.

1062
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:30,000
Since 2019, here we are, fucking four years later.

1063
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:32,000
Yeah, yeah.

1064
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:35,000
Manson pleaded no contest to the charge of nose blowing.

1065
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:40,000
The plea was part of a deal that saw prosecutors agree to dismiss

1066
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:46,000
the other charge against the musician, which alleged that he spat on the camera operator.

1067
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:50,000
Okay, so he blew his nose on the guy, and then he spit on him.

1068
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:55,000
He was fined just over $1,400, with $200 suspended.

1069
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:58,000
Oh, big fucking whoopie.

1070
00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:01,000
And he needs to stay arrest free for a while,

1071
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:06,000
also notifying local police of any New Hampshire performances in two years.

1072
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:12,000
During the New Hampshire concert, Manson approached the camera operator, Susan Fountain,

1073
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:18,000
put his face close to her camera, and spat a big loogie at her, according to the police affidavits.

1074
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:26,000
A police sergeant who reviewed the video footage said that the affidavit that Manson blew a significant amount of mucus at Fountain,

1075
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:29,000
and that after the camera view changes.

1076
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:36,000
You can see Manson point and laugh at Fountain as she gets down and walks away.

1077
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:42,000
Ms. Fountain said in a statement that the incident was the most disgusting thing a human could have done.

1078
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:46,000
Manson initially pleaded guilty to both charges in 2021,

1079
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:51,000
with a Roxer's Lawyer claiming the type of filming that Ms. Fountain was doing at the concert

1080
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:56,000
commonly exposes videographers to incidental contact with bodily fluids.

1081
00:56:56,000 --> 00:57:01,000
Oh, bullshit. The guy hopped a fucking loogie and spit it on her.

1082
00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:04,000
That's not incidental contact.

1083
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:06,000
Okay.

1084
00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:08,000
Right? Is that agreed?

1085
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:14,000
Well, I was trying to figure this out, trying to figure out how it played out.

1086
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:21,000
Did he come off the stage and just do it and accidentally hit her,

1087
00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:25,000
or did he look at her and just do it at her?

1088
00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:27,000
He, it sounds to me from what I read here...

1089
00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:29,000
That's what would make the defense.

1090
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:36,000
Okay. It sounds to me from what I just read that he looked at her,

1091
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:41,000
hopped one up, spit it at her. It doesn't say it actually hit her, though.

1092
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:44,000
But he laughed. He laughed at her.

1093
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:47,000
The action of doing it would be enough, yeah.

1094
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:49,000
Yeah, he laughed at her is what it said.

1095
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:51,000
He busted. He busted.

1096
00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:53,000
So him laughing would indicate that...

1097
00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:55,000
Oh, he laughed. He busted.

1098
00:57:55,000 --> 00:58:03,000
He planned it, did it, and then thought it was funny.

1099
00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:10,000
He'll serve as a... okay. Marilyn Manson sues... eh, you know what.

1100
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:18,000
Marilyn Manson sued one of the women that accused him of sexual assault.

1101
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:22,000
Anyhow, this is one of the women that said that he abused her sexually,

1102
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:26,000
but that thing is still in court, and it was a little add-on to this.

1103
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:30,000
And to be fair, I'm going to read the whole thing.

1104
00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:34,000
It's that little excerpt that was attached to that article.

1105
00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:39,000
I'm going to read the excerpt, and I will have it on in a podcast or two.

1106
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:42,000
So... yeah.

1107
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:45,000
Yeah, they get what you see.

1108
00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:47,000
Yeah.

1109
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:53,000
Okay, Rob, do you have something you want to... you have any stories you want to cover?

1110
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:58,000
Man, I thought one about the Brady Munch House.

1111
00:58:58,000 --> 00:59:03,000
Oh, go ahead. Sounds good.

1112
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:12,000
Buying a $3.2 million model in the Brady Munch home might have been the worst investment ever,

1113
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:23,000
as far as property business go, but art collector and owner Tina Taron doesn't seem to have any regrets.

1114
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:33,000
Speaking to people, she has no intention to sell any property, even if none of the appliances worked.

1115
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:37,000
So none of the appliances in the Brady Munch house worked.

1116
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:40,000
So Alice was a fake.

1117
00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:42,000
I guess so.

1118
00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:46,000
So far, that's what I'm doing. They're calling it Alice the Fake.

1119
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:50,000
Anyway, when I was buying it, I wasn't thinking.

1120
00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:53,000
Or it was a great investment, she said.

1121
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:56,000
When I buy art, it's because I love the art.

1122
00:59:56,000 --> 01:00:01,000
It's not because, oh, I'm going to make money on this.

1123
01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:06,000
If you're going to make money in art, you have to sell it.

1124
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:11,000
I buy art and then I don't sell it.

1125
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:17,000
The Los Angeles property, which was used for the exterior shots on the Brady Munch,

1126
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:26,000
was initially bought in 2018 for $3.5 million by HGTV.

1127
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:34,000
The network didn't spend almost $2 million to re-initiate it.

1128
01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:45,000
So the interior perfectly replicated the sit time on the 2019 series, a very Brady generation.

1129
01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:50,000
Cool.

1130
01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:52,000
Wow.

1131
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:54,000
I don't know.

1132
01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:56,000
Do I know?

1133
01:00:56,000 --> 01:01:04,000
So Ron purchased a home from HGTV for $3.2 million.

1134
01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:09,000
Approximately 9% less than what the network purchased.

1135
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:11,000
Oh, wow.

1136
01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:18,000
She's going to leave the appliance. It's one of them stories that's lengthy.

1137
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:21,000
She's going to leave it the way it is.

1138
01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:26,000
She's going to leave it the way we've seen it on TV.

1139
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:29,000
Okay, cool. That's good with me.

1140
01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:34,000
Yeah, I mean, I'm glad somebody had the money to do it.

1141
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:38,000
I am too, really.

1142
01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:40,000
Cool. All right.

1143
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:45,000
Well, shall we go ahead and wrap this podcast up, Rob?

1144
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:48,000
Yeah, we're going to be about that time.

1145
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:51,000
All right, everybody. Thank you for doing it.

1146
01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:57,000
Everybody, just trust me. We will have a lot more going on tomorrow night.

1147
01:01:57,000 --> 01:02:03,000
Yeah, from the way it sounds, I think you're going to take the pulpit quite a few times.

1148
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:04,000
Yep.

1149
01:02:04,000 --> 01:02:09,000
All right, everybody. Have a great night. Thanks for joining us. Bye.

1150
01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:11,000
Thank you. Good night, everybody.

1151
01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:25,000
Good night.

1152
01:02:25,000 --> 01:02:30,000
Hey, where did they go? Where are the douchebags?

1153
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:35,000
Oh, my God. Someone took a dump in the corner. Oh, geez.

1154
01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:39,000
Glad they're gone. Let's just hope they don't come back.

1155
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:51,000
It smells.