District in downtown Kansas City Missouri. From the banks of the beautiful crystal blue waters of the
Missouri River, it is Two Douchebags and Microphone Podcast.
Invisible ass paddlings, new douche flavors, and horrible pranks?
What the fuck is wrong with these guys?
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.
So, if I have a glass of ice water and the ice melts into the water,
is my water then watered down?
Hmm, I may never know.
Two Douchebags and Microphone, I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
Welcome. Thanks for joining us tonight.
Anyhow, Rob, I have something that might interest you.
Alright.
Okay, you're a big Max Tana Moffat fan, right?
This is locally here in Kansas City radio. They're big dogs here for years.
Max Floyd is actually in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
He had a very storied career and he's still around. He's older.
He doesn't do a show anymore.
But, you know that the guy that was kind of like an intern and then turned into an on air talent slacker,
does mornings for 101 the Fox now, right?
Did you hear that?
Yeah, yeah. I listen to 101 the Fox, too.
Oh, okay. Well, alright. Well, you know he has leukemia, right?
Yeah, I heard that.
Okay. Well, September 28th, they are doing a show, 6 to 9 a.m., Max Tana and Moffat.
And it is going to, I believe, benefit slacker and they have a GoFundMe page.
So, if you're from Kansas City...
On the Fox?
On the Fox.
What day?
September 28th.
Okay.
From 6 to 9 a.m.
So, people of Kansas City, we have a lot of people that listen, hear from Kansas City.
Write that down, put it in your phone, carve it on your penis, whatever you gotta do.
But check that out. I'm going to check it out myself.
It will be fun just to hear like some of the old stories and stuff and hear what they are all up to.
Yeah, well, there you go. You'll get one day, three hours of them. So...
Awesome. Thank you.
Yeah, yeah. Absolutely.
That made my day.
Oh, good. Good. That's what I'm here for, is to make Rob's day.
As soon as I woke up this morning, I'm like, I need to make Rob's day.
Mission accomplished. All right, I'm going back to bed. I'll see you later.
Okay.
Okay. Anyhow, all right, Rob, let's start off. You got anything going on?
I went and had coffee with Christopher today.
Oh, cool. Cool.
He has a couple things that he wants me to look up and we'll get to them in a little bit.
But anyhow, he is actually talking about producing a little segment and just handing it over to me
once a week. It'll be, I don't know, Topher's Corner or Topher says, fuck you, or I don't know,
Kiss My Hairy Ass or whatever, whatever he wants to call it.
But it will probably be a little regular segment on our show.
All right, cool.
Yep. And also, I have a deal here that I need to get into here real quick before we get into
anything. And anyhow, the lady's name, the owner of The Daily Kitchen, her name is Hope Dillon.
And I failed to say anything about her name when I listened back to them, when I cut both of those
and they've all been released now, I believe, everything with her promos in there. I noticed
it myself. And when we saw her today, when me and Topher were down there at the City Market having
coffee, I saw her today and I said, you know what, I'm sorry, I forgot to include your name.
She didn't care. It was fine. And anyhow, the promotion is doing reasonably well. We had a
couple of people go in there and ask for the 10% discount. So it's not that hard to do.
Another City Market, you go in there and say, hey, we listened to, you can say our name or if you're
embarrassed not to say, I listened to two douchebags and a microphone, you can say,
the local podcast told us to come in here and get our 10% discount. And they also told us how
delicious the meatloaf is or the brisket sandwich or the roast pork or the grilled cheese or the
curry chicken or the egg salad or the egg sandwich. I'm sorry. Yeah, me too. I just saw it.
I'll let it go. But the egg sandwich is my new go-to deal there. Oh my God. Yeah. Well, it has
an egg and sausage and cheese and lettuce, tomato, spicy mayo on a butter bun. And what's better than
a butter bun? It might be buttered sausage, but other than that, there's not much better than a
butter bun. Right? Right. But buttered sausage is probably better than anything. Oh, definitely.
Yeah. But a buttered bun is close to buttered sausage. Yeah. You can't beat buttered sausage.
No, no. Buttered sausage is the chisel or something like that. Whatever the young folks say.
All right. Yeah. Anyhow. Just ask the spokesperson. That's right. Yep. Yeah. That's right.
Yeah. And look them up. Believe me, you will be thanking us. Yeah. So,
so anyhow, let's see here. I've got a story here I'd like to get into. Have you heard about the
new... Oh, what? Oh, you said all right. Oh, okay. Sorry. I'm not hearing very well today. I have some
allergy issues going on. So anyhow. Oh, okay. There's, have you heard about this new fog that
fights crime? I'm talking like fog. No. All right. Okay. Retailers on average saw a 26.5%
increase in organized retail crime. And that's like people getting together and breaking in
and stuff after hours and like figuring out their codes or figuring out where the good stuff is and
all that. 8 in 10 retailers surveyed report that the violence and aggression associated with ORC
incidents increased in the past year. The 2022 retail security survey says the current climate
of active assailants and gun violence add to retailers concerns about being able to keep
employees and customers safe. So one of their answers that they're doing now is this new
new crime fighting fog. And it's mainly right now, right now it's mainly this. They have this fog
machine wherever the goods are. Okay. In a store, four or five people break in, they're going to
grab everything really quick and take off. This fog machine goes off because someone obviously broke
in. The fog machine is so thick in this room or store that you can't see anything enabling the
robbers, not enabling them, but disabling the robbers. And they have to leave because they
can't see anything. The best thing they can do is find the door they came in or wherever they came
in and get the fuck out. And it is working. It's working really well. So now they're trying to
figure out how to parlay this into, let's say there's 10 people at a bank, right?
A couple of people over there withdrawing money. A couple of people over there doing, you know,
adding an account or little Jeffy's trying to open up an account with his lawnmower money or
whatever. Okay. And a couple of armed people with masks come in, demand all the money. They're trying
to figure out a way to fog up the whole building while this happens to keep people safe. But I
don't know if that's going to be feasible because what if one of these armed people freak out and
just start shooting blindly? Yeah. So I don't know how far they're going to be able to use it. This
is being discussed right now. They're saying, you know, this would definitely help
the after hours end, you know, like 10 people break into a jewelry store and they're all in
there trying to grab all the diamonds and rubies and emeralds and all that stuff. But then all
sudden this fog goes off. They can't see anything and time's ticking because as soon as they break
in, they know that time's ticking before the cops can get there. So as long as that's fogging there,
you know, they're like, oh shit, we're going to run out of time and we're going to be stuck in
here in the fog and we're going to get caught. So that part of it is, yeah. Yeah. So anyhow,
they're trying to figure out another way to be able to use this from what I read in this article.
But as of right now, it is strictly like an after hours business close, someone coming in and, uh,
and trying to steal, you know, so anyhow, I wish them luck. I hope they can find a way, but I'm
kind of, I don't know, I'm kind of leery about anything that you can do after hours like that.
You know, yeah. I mean, I could see it being used after hours, but like you said,
the first thing I thought of was that'd be great in a bank, but then you mentioned more than they
know, then they freak out, start shooting everybody. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, the after hours,
I could see where stuff like that would be feasible. Yeah. So anyhow, I mean, at least
they got that end of it and it's, and it's working really well because it, you know,
people are like going, oh shit, you know, what are we going to do? And they get out of there. So
anyhow, um, uh, good idea. Um, and I know it's going to probably work pretty well on that end.
And I don't know about anything else they can do with it. So who knows? So anyhow,
props to whoever came up with this idea though. It's genius, isn't it?
Yeah, it is. All right. Um, have you heard about Tom Brady and people have been like
speculating that he's going to sign with the jets because Aaron Rogers went down with a season end
and injury. I, I, I've been reading about it and I've read reports that he said, no way.
And then other reports where he left it open. Yeah, I know. Right, right. Okay. The report I
got here is interesting. And, uh, this is from, where the hell was it from? Let me see. It did
print out. Dammit. Um, oh, okay. W T W a T e.com from Knoxville. I wonder why they chose to give
me that one. Oh, well, it doesn't matter. So, okay. W a T e weight.com in that in Knoxville. Thank
you, Tennessee. I'm pretty sure ever since Aaron Rogers went down with a season ended injury,
many people have wondered about the season long plan for the jets when it comes to replacing.
Well, the team is currently sticking with Zach Wilson. Some believe New York should try to add
a veteran, even one currently in retirement, like Tom Brady. However, New York reportedly
shot down the possibility of adding Brady. And now the former quarterback did the same New York,
as in the NFL. That's what they're talking about when they're talking about New York
on his let's go podcast with Jim Gray. Brady brushed off the idea that he may play for his
formal division rival. The question everyone is wondering is have the jets called you?
Are you considering the jets? Jim Gray asked Brady, no, no, no. Brady said next question.
So asked an answer to gray then responded.
Brady notoriously spent 20 years playing for the Jets rival, the Patriots, and the former
quarterback has not expressed any interest in returning to any team, let alone his biggest
rival. Instead, Brady seems set on entering the next phase of his career, which includes
partial ownership of the Raiders and eventually joining Fox as a game announcer. And the reason
I say New York is the NFL that they're talking about. New York is where all the everything comes
down from the NFL. Even the calls on the field that are up on the red flag are they come from
the NFL. If it came from the Jets, it would have said the New York Jets. You see what I'm saying?
So what they're talking about is New York said no, as in like the NFL said no,
for whatever reason. And I don't know why the NFL would say no, but maybe they're trying to
cool guy and go, yeah, we already are on it. And we know that it's not going to work.
So anyhow, I think that was pretty much answered right there. No, no, no. So that means that he is
not going to be joining the Jets. And you know, why would he? So anyhow, how about if we come back
with some alternative insults? Hey, that sounds good. All right, a little pick me up tonight,
right? Oh, yeah. I need some new ones. All right. Yeah. Call someone a wooden banister and get them
all pissed off. I already used that one. Okay. All right. Did it piss them off?
No, they just gave me a stupid look like deer in the headlight look. Oh, then they weren't smart
enough to get it. They didn't understand. Okay. Well, we'll be right back with alternative insults.
So our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
If someone intimidates you, just imagine them on a table being whites like a baby.
Be two douchebags and a microphone. The number one show for people that lie about their favorite
podcast. Two douchebags and a microphone pasteurized for your protection.
All right, we are two douchebags and microphone on Mark.
And I'm rock. All right. I think most of you know the drill by now. We have a lot of repeat
listeners, a lot of places that download us routinely whenever I do a new show. Also,
we get like, I don't know, 100 downloads or whatever just instantly. So they have this on
instant download. As soon as we pop a show out, they grab it. So they can do that on several
different platforms. And we thank you. So most of you people know what alternative insults are,
but the people that do not know, here's what alternative insults are. Okay. You're in a place,
a business or a church or something, and you cannot curse. Okay. But you really want to call
someone a stupid son of a bitch or a dumb motherfucker, but you can't do it. So you have
to express it in a different way by what you're saying and how you say it. Like one guy, I spoke
of this before several times is I used to make him mad by calling him a banister. And if I really
wanted to make him mad, I would call him a wooden banister. And he would just flip out, I'm not a
wooden banister. And it grew from there. It was like, Oh my God, this is great. I don't even have
to say stupid son of a bitch. This stupid son of a bitch knows that I'm calling him a stupid son
of a bitch without actually saying stupid son of a bitch. Isn't that, isn't that perfect Rob?
How are they? I do too. So, um, I have some more of these, some juicy little gems for everybody. So
my first one here that I have is
engine buildup.
That is, yeah, that's a pain in the ass. You're going to cost me money deal, right? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. And that's one that you say with a lot of force too. Engine buildup.
They're like, Oh my God, what did you do with the dirty oil in me? Why do I have all this sludge?
So, um, I like that one. I think I could use that on several people and get the point across.
They'd be smart enough to, yeah, they'd be smart enough to go engine buildup. Oh, okay.
So, and anybody that's ever owned a car that they ever had to work on, like me and you have,
you know, you know, the engine buildup is a bad thing. And yeah, so anyhow, it's not a good thing.
Next one, you call someone and this is just strictly because of what you use it for.
And this is another pain in the ass kind of, you're so stupid, it's painful. Call them a cattle prod.
I love it. Yeah, I do too. Cattle prod. That means like someone took like a hot iron and stuck it to
your skin. Cattle prod. That's what they're calling you when they say cattle prod. It's like, you're
such an irritating son of a bitch that you're as irritating as someone taking a red hot poker
and sticking it on your ass to prove whatever, if you jump a fence or something, that's mine.
Look on his ass. It's got a big M there. A cattle prod. Isn't that what a cattle prod is? Or is it
what they use to just herd cows? They just use to herd them. Oh, okay. So,
they don't actually brand them with it. The electric stick that you stick them. Okay, okay.
That's bad enough. Yeah. Yeah, you get zapped on the ass of one of them. You're not happy.
No, no. You'd be like, oh, fuck. Okay, okay, okay. I'm leaving. I'm going through this fence.
Yeah, that's exactly what they do. Yeah. They're like, fuck. Okay, I got it. Usually.
Usually. It's like, okay, dude, get that fucking thing off of me. I'm going.
Next one. I love this one because it's actually really kind of making fun of the person.
Heartwarming sitcom. That one is bad. I like that one. Yeah, you're calling him a sissy.
You are. I don't know. What am I? You're a heartwarming sitcom.
I could use that on somebody right now.
Are you going to use it on? I love it. What are you going to use it on? Yeah,
I'm going to use it tomorrow. Okay, let me know. Text me. Let me know how it went.
I will. And when I use it on someone, I'll let you know how they reacted to me doing it.
This next one is an extreme pain in the ass. This is when someone's really fucking bothering
you. You want to take a club to their forehead. Season ending injury.
You are. What? You're a season ending injury.
Two, five. I love it. This is a good list.
Yeah, yeah. I put a little thought into this. My never-ending tooth infection was bothering
me a little bit, so I got a little hydrocodone and my mind went to work.
Always helps. Yes, it does. Yes, it does. Puts you in a whole
other flight pattern. You know what I mean? Even though I try not to use them, only when I have to.
I only use them when I have to, too, but sometimes I grind my teeth in my sleep
and with this tooth infection that's horrible that refuses to go away, they had to drill a hole in
the back of my tooth and it's already had a root canal and a crown put on it, but when they did it
very possibly, there could have been some bacteria left, right? So it's been sitting there for a few
years just inflaming and they finally caught it because I had off and on spells of it hurting
really bad. So then the regular antibiotics weren't working too well, so my dentist actually had to
drill into the back of the tooth, fill it full of iodine like we used to. Only it's a gel form of
iodine. Like you know you used to scrape your knee and your mom would put iodine on it or
maculachrome or something like that. Same deal. It's the same type of iodine. It kills infection.
That's why you put it on there and anyhow they put it actually inside my tooth and then capped my
tooth off so the iodine's in there right now fighting out the infection. All right. So it's
something that's done with endodontist and not really dentist. Dentists will prescribe the
antibiotics. Endodontists will actually go, all right, they go a step further and go we're going
to drill into the tooth and we're going to come back and we're going to fill it full of iodine and
if that doesn't work then we're going to put you on a stronger antibiotic. If that doesn't work,
we got to cut open your gum and scrape out all the infection and put it back together.
I'm hoping that does not happen, but you know what? We were having fun with the alternative insults,
so I don't know how this turned into that, but I apologize. Okay. We're victorious for that.
Yes, we are. It evolved from season end and injury somehow. So anyhow, next one, lukewarm malt liquor.
That's a bad one. Oh man. You ever have lukewarm malt liquor?
That crunched my stomach just thinking about it. Yeah. If you're going to have malt liquor,
it's got to be ice cold and it's still not that good, right? Right. Yeah. Yeah.
Next one. I love this one just because the thought of it. Rotary dial phone.
Can you imagine ever having to go back to a rotary dial phone now where you got to like
and then let them all, then they'll let the number fall back. I love it. Really? Yeah.
They sell them. You can get one if you wanted just for shits and giggles. People come to your house
and go, what? This is the landline, bitch. You know what landline is? Landline means I'm not
subscribing to that new shit. I'm fucking firm. They ain't getting me. I only have a bunch of
pictures on my phone. You know what my phone's used for? Talking to somebody fucking else.
That's what a phone is. I don't have this fucking Google shit on there. You know what I do? I die
this motherfucker. It calls them. I say hello. I tell them what I need to and then I get the fuck
off of there. And you know what's even better? I can slam this son of a bitch if I wanted. You
can't slam your fucking phone. I don't care how hard you throw it on the ground. You can't slam
it like you used to an old phone. Then about that time they're already gone because they're tired
of listening to it. But you know, hey, so alternative insults, dude. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's right.
That's right. My ADD is fucking horrible tonight. I apologize. I was working on my hot tub earlier.
That's what fucking did it. It took too much concentration. Now my concentration's going.
You know, taking shit apart and then putting it back together. Not my mainstay. No, not my thing.
So anyhow, but when I left it was not leaking like it was before. So hopefully it was done right. So
we'll see. Anyhow, okay. Back to alternative insults. Okay. We're on rotary dial phone. Next one,
partial nudity. That was good because it's only partial. So now this ain't a real movie. Fuck them.
Yep. Yep. That one is kind of like you're an asshole. You call someone partial nudity,
it means they're an asshole, right? This next one. Yeah. It's like side boob. It's not even like the
real full on front. Yeah. You're just side boob. Yeah. You're just side boob and just a little bit
of it. Not much. So yeah, partial nudity means you're really not the real thing. You're just a
little bit, just a little piece of it and that's it. Next one. Tennis elbow. If you ever had tennis
elbow, you know what a pain in the ass it is. Have you ever had it? Yes, I do. Yes, it fucking
hurts. It doesn't want to go away. It is disabling and there's no really good way to describe it,
right? You go, well, man, my- Especially when you work with steel all day. Yeah. I got tennis elbow.
No, it really fucking hurts. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, Cinderella. Sorry.
Don't you think I can get you? Oh no, I'm sorry. I've had it. No, it fucking hurts. Yeah.
And it's disabling too because if you get it, if you get it, it like hurts just to move the damn
thing. Yeah, I got to wear an elbow brace. Yeah. No, no, me too. I know what you mean. I was the same
way. So this next one, bloodborne pathogen. Oh God. That is a horrible one. Wow. Could be AIDS.
You dug deep on that one, Betty. Yes, I did. Could be AIDS, could be hep C, or could be anything.
Oh, it could be anything. It could be anything, but you're a bloodborne pathogen.
No, I'll tell you what. Yep. Hydrocodone is a beautiful thing sometimes, right? I bet.
Yep. And then my final, last but not least, spando ballet listener. Remember that one hit
wonder in the eighties? Oh my God. Yeah. You know, if it's a younger person, they'll have to go look
that shit up when you call them that. They're going to go, who's that spando? How do you spell that?
I'm like, I don't know. Just say it. Say it to Google voice, spando ballet, and then ask for one
of their hits and play it. And then after you're done, that's what you are. So, yeah. Anyhow,
pretty cool. Do you have something you want to get to Rob? Yeah, I got one here. I got a story
here right up to your alley. Okay. Let's hear it. It has to do with Lake of the Ozards. Even better.
A movie production company used this still new body of water and its undeveloped green shoreline
as a backdrop for a scene in the motion picture, Jesse James, starring Tyrone Power and Henry
Fonda. It was only a second unit scene. None of the big stars were present for the shooting,
but an incident that took place during the shoot would have an effect on the motion picture industry
that has lasted to this very day. Oh, wow. The motion picture released in January 1939
was shot on location around Pineville, Missouri, in the extreme southwestern corner of the state.
The Elk River provided a convenient Ozark stream for background visual effects, especially during
chase scenes when the drama was intensified by the splashing curves of galloping horses.
From a purely historic perspective, the movie was terrible. Almost nothing in it matched the
known facts of Frank and Jesse James' lives. It was simply a western with lots of shoot-em-up
and high melodrama. But its Ozarks film location, as well as the fact that it was produced in color,
greatly enhanced the overall visual impact of the movie. The pictures were taken in the
early days of the movie. The picture, however, is probably better known for another reason.
In one of the outdoor scenes, Frank and Jesse are riding hard to avoid capture
after attempting to rob a bank in Northfield, Minnesota, and suddenly come to the edge of a
high, pristine overlooking a mountain stream. Never mind they were fleeing from Minnesota
towards Missouri. Not too high, many bluffs and mountain streams along that route, but who would
know? Anyway, poor Harry, Frank and Jesse have no alternative. They must jump off the cliff with
their horses in the water below. And they do. And back in 1938, when the movie was made, jumping
over a cliff means jumping over a real cliff with a real horse and rider. That's where Lake of the
Ozarks came in. Jumping into the Elk River was out of the question. It was simply too shallow.
The same old truth for every other Ozark cliff and river except at Lake of the Ozarks. In 1938,
it was only deep water lake in the region and had plenty of cliffs along the shoreline.
So the second unit camera crew moved up here for the shoot. They sailed on a 70-foot high cliff
between mile markers 21 and 22, which would be right over here in Osage Beach actually.
Oh yeah, yeah it would be. Yep.
The cameras would be angled to show the cliff and some of the lakes, but the broader expanse of
water would be off camera as to give the impression that our heroes were jumping into a small river.
And since there was an element of danger here, oh, one stunt man or one horse would actually go over
the edge, but they spliced footage from two cameras to give it the impression that two riders made the
jump. Wow. It keeps going, but I'm going to stop there. No, no, no, that's cool. Yeah, Lake of the
Ozarks was in a movie in 1938. Jesse James. It is actually one of the most famous lakes in America,
so yeah, I can totally believe that. So wow, cool. That was when it was first made actually.
Yeah, yep, it would have had to have been. Pretty much uninhabited and ain't what it is today,
that's for sure. Oh no, god no. All right, well how about if we come back and I have a story about
how Peter was getting after Anheuser-Busch for cutting the tails off the Clydesdale horses.
Sound good? Oh, I want to hear this. Okay, we'll be right back right after this.
Oh lord, that man just saw a puppy in half. Hey there, don't worry, I have a clown nose.
Oh no, that drunk guy just hit my child. It's okay, I have a clown nose.
Hey, clown nose, just put one on and you can do anything. Want to run for office? Murder people
in public? Just grab a clown nose and bam, everyone laughs. Clown noses are sold at gag stores online
and pedophile conventions. Grab one today and make magic happen. As much fun as an electric
can opener to the scrotum, two douchebags and a mothafuckers in a toaster will be right back.
All right, well what I was talking about earlier before we went to break is,
evidently Anheuser-Busch were hacking the tails off the Clydesdales for the way they looked,
they wanted that look, and they've stopped because they had enough pressure put on them finally.
Thank god, I had not heard about this. Yep, yep. Okay, Anheuser-Busch has stopped hacking
the tails off his Clydesdale horses, which have been used in marketing for its Budweiser brand
since 1933. Following mounting pressures from animal rights activists who condemned the
practices cruel, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, PETA, better known as PETA, was behind
the push to get Anheuser-Busch to keep the Clydesdales naturally long tails lengthy. The
group launched an investigation that revealed the St. Louis, Missouri based beer producer not only
amputated the horses tails, an extension of the spine that's needed to protect the animals from
biting insects to balance and to communicate with other horses, but hack them off in unethical ways.
I didn't know that they used the tails for all that, did you? I didn't even know they cut them off.
Well yeah, I didn't either, but I had no idea their horses used the tails for all that either.
No, this is kind of upsetting to me. It really is. Well, I have been really thrilled with Budweiser
in a long time anyhow. I like their beer. I like their beer. I'm not a big fan of their beer anymore.
I love the Clydesdales, but evidently they're kind of cruel to them. It sounds like Budweiser
keeping the ugly secret, PETA said in a video on the topic. Before the beautiful horses are hitched
to the beer wagon, they're just, when they're still just foals, which means I think they're young,
their tails are mutilated just to give them a certain appearance. Some or all of the tail
is removed either with a scalpel or with a tight band that cuts off blood flow causing the tail to
die off, PETA found. So other hidden camera clues... Okay, go ahead. I know that method. I know that
method. They use that on dogs. They also use it on pigs too sometimes. Yeah, pigs too. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. It's for gonads basically, for balls. Yeah. Yeah, they do it on dogs too like you said. They'll
do it to cut a dog's tail, but they also use it on balls too, which is even cooler probably.
So other hidden camera clips show Budweiser staffers insisting that the tails aren't docked,
but rather just trimmed weakly. They still have their tails. It's just they trim the hair,
one worker said. The Clydesdale handler, however, revealed that the horses don't actually have full
tails. I'm not actually sure when Budweiser does it, but it's typically when they're pretty young,
the handler said in another undercover video. Horsetail docking is illegal in 10 US states,
including Massachusetts, Minnesota, New York, Ohio, and Washington, as well as countries as Denmark,
Germany, Ireland, the UK, and Belgium, where Anne Hauser Bush's corporate parent, InBev, is based.
InBev confirmed that Wall Street Journal that Budweiser stopped amputating the horsetails
this year, though it didn't offer a time frame on anything else. Like, you know, I guess they're
just going to, it sounds according to this, it sounds like they're going to stop doing it all
together. So that's fantastic. But I guess it took a lot of doing though. So anyhow,
well, I can't say I don't agree with that. I think it's great that they quit doing it.
And you know, it's good to hear that PETA still does do some good things,
instead of going just completely off the fucking freak end. Yeah. So anyhow, well, good, good.
All right. I got a story here. A German gardener took his nearly 20 pound onion to a Germany flower
show. Organizers said it's believed to be a new world record. The autumn flowers are in season
now. The autumn flower show in Hamburg said that Gareth Gryphon's 19.77 pound onion outweighs the
previous world record, which was 18.68 pound onion brought to the auditorium of a famous flower show
in another country in Glasgow, Scotland. The onion is on display at the show's edible pavilion
alongside with other giant vegetables that included cabbage, cucumbers, and carrots.
Show organizers said that onion status as the world's largest must now be reviewed by the
Guinness Book of World Records to confirm that it actually is the world record, but it sounds like
it is. So all right. Well, congratulations to you German person that did that. So all right, Rob,
you said you got a story you want to go to. Yeah. Yeah. This comes out of Benton County, Arkansas.
Okay. A Northwest Arkansas woman is accused of photographing another woman in a restroom
in a restroom at the J.B. Hunt corporate office. Oh, wow. Natalie Hannah Persol, 45, was arrested
and booked in Benton County on May 22nd and charged with video voyeurism and tampering with
physical evidence. Persol ended, pleaded not guilty to the charges during the court appearance last
month. According to a probable cause affidavit, officers with the Lowell Police Department
were contacted by a woman who claimed that she wanted to file a report for voyeurism that occurred
at the J.B. Hunt corporate office. The woman reported to police that on July 31st, 2022,
she was using the woman's restroom when she looked to the left side of the stall and noticed a
cell phone come down below the stall divider wall with the camera lens facing her direction.
The woman said that while the camera lens was facing her, the person holding the phone
appeared to push the capture button to take a picture. Oh, wow.
Oh, wow. The woman told police that she asked,
did you just take a picture of me? And the person holding the camera replied, no.
Detective spoke to J.B. Hunt Human Resources regarding an interview
that they had with Persol after the incident.
Yeah, yeah, it is the same thing over and over. But yeah, I can't, wow, that's crazy.
Yeah. Well, it is.
Okay.
Looks like a winner. She looks like a winner.
Well, I got to get to a little thing that me and Christopher were involved in today,
and this is pretty cool. Christopher has like people pecking at him, you know,
like can't wait for him to put a subject up on Facebook just to like poo poo him and
screw with them and say shit and all that. So he went on there and he said that like,
let me find it here so I make sure I don't misquote it. But we agreed that we're going
to screw with people because he has these people, especially a couple of people in general,
that get on there and just like counter program on everything that he says.
And I don't blame him, you know, it's bullshit. I have the same people that used to do that with
me. And now I don't say anything on Facebook. It's like, I don't care. So here's what Topher did.
And I know what he was getting at. And you can figure this out too. When the scammer calls
and pretends to be your grandkid, shouldn't you just accept them as who they for who for how they
identify? And, you know, think about that, right? Because they tell everybody else, well, you're
just going to have to take the word for it. Like someone comes up and goes, well, I'm a frog today.
Okay, so try to grip it at me. You know, yeah. And it's like, or what if someone's like gender
fluid or something? Oh, well, yeah. Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm not a man. Now I'm a woman. Ma'am was
last hour. You're supposed to have to adhere to all these instructions and follow them. Right?
So he's simply saying, where does it end? And I get it. So I told him, I said, I would put something
up that kind of that will going to try to go to some of these people, but nobody responded.
Because I think they realized that they're out of their league. If they want to try to say something,
me and Topher are going to fucking beat up on him. So anyhow, what I did was we must blindly accept
what they feel. Topher, you are a great American. Thank you. Nobody had anything to say either. They
knew better. They, you know, they probably knew like, well, number one, him and I used to do two
douchebags and microphones. So they're probably like, you know, these guys are just setting us up.
Number two, I don't think there was anything I could say about it because they can't prove it was
actually sarcasm. Right. Yeah. So anyhow, that was our little fun today. That and hanging out at the
city market and, um, yep. So, uh, anyhow, he brought up a couple of things. Um, there is a people who
identify as dogs conference that went on in New York and it drew a lot of people. And there was
also one that went on in Germany, drew a lot of people. So there's a large number of people out
there. Well, I mean, can comparatively, I mean, you know, I don't know what percentage of people
on earth it is, but it's a large number of people. Nevertheless, to that identify as dogs,
they don't believe they're humans. They think they're dogs. I have a question. Yes. Is that
considered a new gender? Um, that you got to touch a good question. Yeah. Um, let me get back to you.
I'm going to do it. I don't know how you would do that one. I mean, would you be female dog,
bitch, if you will, or would you be, uh, well, like you could be a dog. You could be anything you want.
Yeah. Um, I did see that story where that guy did turn himself into a dog. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I saw that too. Um, maybe I didn't even want to report on them. Like who fucking cares about it.
But then the more I know, the more I thought about the more I didn't fucking care. So I didn't.
Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to have nightmares after I did the report. Yeah. Yep. So, um,
um, that was, uh, that was going on. And then, um, he told me about how he was reading about,
remember our story on my story on dating apps, uh, about the most, uh, wanted jobs yesterday and
you know, the most, the most right swipe jobs, the most left swipe jobs, right slot, right swipe.
I haven't, it's not air yet, so it's coming up on the next podcast you'll hear, but it's a story
about right swipe on these dating apps mean, yeah, cool. Come on down. Less white means now stay
right there. I don't want anything to do with you. Okay. So what there was certain jobs that got,
uh, more right swipes and certain jobs that got more left swipes, the left swipes were no,
and they know we're like politicians, professional athletes. Um, I forgot what else. Then the right
swipe was like a bunch of tech jobs, which really kind of surprised me because I, I didn't, yeah,
I didn't think that, uh, a tech job, I thought it was kind of nerdy. I didn't think like people
would be like, you know, Hey, you know, um, I, I just didn't think it'd be a preferred profession
for whatever reason. So, okay. Uh, Topher had a good thing about dating sites now too. And, um,
anyhow, well, evidently dating sites work against people for a reason. They try hard to not find you
a match. And the reason is, is they don't want you to hook up with anybody because if you hook up with
somebody, you're off the site and you're gone for good. You're no longer a customer. So they'll make
it extremely hard for you to match up with anybody. Allegedly. I often thought that. I often thought that.
Yep. Yeah. Like you read, like your matches, like what? That's not my match. So they try to get you
two to talk. So you won't get together is what it sounds like. And this is all allegedly, you know,
don't know this for sure, but it sure sounds like a tactic that could be employed by a place like
that. Doesn't it? Yeah. It's like, uh, don't care their diabetes, just, uh, um, keep it at bay,
but don't care it. You care it. They're gone for good, but if you control it, they're here forever.
And so, you know, as long as they're alive, yeah. Yeah. So, you know, same, same idea, same thought.
So anyhow, I thought that's a pretty good little, um, uh, little point that he made out.
And also I guess, uh, you know, some people that were on dating apps said, yeah, you know,
we've noticed this, that it's getting harder and harder to find a match. So, yeah, I don't use it.
I don't blame you. I never thought they were any good. Everybody they ever tried to hook me up with
was an idiot. I thought so. Yeah. I keep hearing horror stories. Yeah. I didn't care for it. I just
didn't seem that I didn't, I didn't see there was anything in there that I couldn't do myself.
Like go to a bar and just start talking to people, you know, talking to women or whatever.
So, you know, um, maybe they work, maybe they work on some people that aren't as social as I,
you know, maybe some people just can't, you know, get out and talk to people. Maybe that's what it's good for.
I don't know. Well, anyhow, you know what? Everybody has their own comfort level.
That's not mine, I guess. So anyhow, um, you have a story you want to get to Rob?
Yeah, give me just a second. I had to walk. Okay, Rob, you had, um, go ahead. You had a story you
want to get to or you had some old west hygiene or something? Yeah, yeah, so I'm getting there.
Okay. I had it and lost it. Well, we were talking a minute ago about how everybody's allergic to ragweed,
but people are freaking out thinking it's COVID and shit.
Oh, and it went away. Okay. All right. So did you, okay, go ahead.
On tonight's episode of old west hygiene, we have people spit so much it had to be outwalled.
Okay. In the saloons of the western frontier, it's a lot of people.
Outwalled. Okay. In the saloons of the western frontier, it was a common sight to see men
spitting tobacco on the floor. Spit tunes and test the doors were placed along the bar
to correct the spit, but it didn't solve the problem. The floors were covered with sawdust
to soak up spit, create a green ground of germs. It became a hotbed of respiratory diseases like
pneumonia and tuberculosis. Move. Make matters worse, travelers. The red worms
roamed in these saloons, slept and missed these hygienic messes.
Wow. Are you there, Rob? Yeah, I'm here. Oh, okay.
Okay. So they spit there because they didn't, I mean, like, I know people that
carry around spit tunes and cups and stuff. So they didn't have anything like that back then,
I guess, huh? No, and they didn't get cleaned out very often either.
Yeah. Oh, well, I wonder how that- So all that was floating in the air
here, along with all the other germs and everything. Well, okay, I have a question for the audience.
How does spitting on the ground lead to tuberculosis? Just someone who knows medical,
please send me, you know, if you're in the medical field and you know why, send me the answer,
please, if you get a chance. It is DoucheB66 at yahoo.com. I have a bunch of emails I need to get
to. I apologize. I have not. I saw there's like eight of them on there today, and I have not had
a chance to look at them. So I don't know if it's like more of the star thing at what they look like
if they weren't stars. I'm not sure what it is. I haven't had a chance to look at them, but whoever
sent one in, I will be getting to you. And every one of them I respond to. I send back and say,
hey, thank you. Appreciate it. Got any criticisms, concerns, anything? Let me know. Okay, Jake from
Illinois, thank you. Thank you for what you said, because I didn't realize that, let me think of
how to put it. I didn't realize that I was up and down in the tempo so much. That's the way to put
it. He said that he noticed like sometimes I get on here and I try to push things really fast,
and sometimes I'm slow and in a different mood and I slow things down. And he's right. I listen
to some podcasts. He's right. Sometimes I'm like just gung-ho, hey, let's get to this story,
this story, this story. And I think some of it has to do with my prep work if I have a bunch of
stories, right? And I want to get to them all because some of them are like time sensitive,
like they came out and they're going to be, no one's going to care in a week. And I think he's
right about that. And I think I need to tempo myself. If it takes a podcast an hour and a half,
as opposed to an hour, I need to not worry about that. What I need to worry about is trying to
keep the same tempo through the whole thing. And I agree with him. He said that, you know,
you pretty much have the same tempo. I'm the one that changes it all the time. He said it kind of
bothers his listening habits. Yeah. Have you noticed anything like that, Rob? I thought I did,
but I'm pretty sensitive to stuff like it. I thought we put it on. I just thought that was
the show we do. Maybe I'm taking it. Okay. Okay. You're probably right. You know what? I don't know.
I'll tell you what I'm going to do is I'm going to listen to some shows that I really respect.
Yeah. I mean, I'm going to listen to it. Okay. All right. Maybe it's just him. Maybe he's
saying like one day, one day I'll be like, all right, we got this coming up, this coming up,
this coming up. And also next we're going to tell how to, how to tell if your date is a dud. And
then after that, we're going to find out if Rob is going to get another picture. And then after,
I think he means sometimes I sound like an auctioneer and sometimes I sound like I'm on Quaaludes.
Okay. Number one, Jake from Illinois, if I'm wrong on this, please send me a clarification letter
and say, that's not what I meant. Number two, if anyone notices this, send in an email and tell me
that, Hey, Jake's absolutely right. It's bothersome. It's cringe-worthy, whatever. We want to hear it.
And then I'd be willing to take a little extra time every night. Yeah. Yeah. Me too. So you know
what? Um, just to do it right. Yeah. Yeah. Me too. We'd do a little bit longer if we have to,
but I don't know if this is one person after I talked to you, you don't even get what he's
talking about where I thought I did. So I kind of do, but I, like I said, I just thought it was part
of the show. Well, when you said that, it kind of made me realize, it kind of made me realize it
really is part of the show and maybe people love it. So other people, yeah, we need other people
to weigh in on that. Yeah. So, okay. Hey, you guys got a thought on this? Send in an email. Um,
I'm going to read all the other emails tonight when we get off air and I'm going to try to catch up
on them and respond to everybody. And thank you. Appreciate it. Another thing I wanted to talk,
God, this ragweed. Another thing I wanted to talk about real quick was we're going to start
featuring, okay, for a long time there, we were operating from the city market and occasionally
from Nashville, but we're doing Nashville about what every month, once a month. Yeah. And Rick,
from the filthy beam, we thank you. Um, uh, anyhow, we have, I know your requests and Rob and I have
to be able to get together to come down there for a few days to broadcast from there. And he's pissed
cause he got to change the names on there now. You know, we had our table, they had the plaque.
He showed a video of a guy scraping it off and putting another one on there. He was mad.
He looked up and he goes, thanks a lot, Mark, asshole. And the guys over there, fucking,
they get a grinder, getting our plaque off of there. So now it has to say Rob,
Brad and Mark or Mark and Rob, Brad or whatever. And I told him, I said, I've got what I've got the
video he sent me. So I'll send it to you. And so, um, that was cool. And, and, uh, and also I told
him, I said, yeah. So then, uh, what I didn't tell you is in a week, we're going to have another
person come on and Rob's leaving. But that's not true. We know this, but I did it just to fuck with
him. He told me, he said, he said, if that happens, don't come back. Oh, and remember the chocolate
thing. He mentioned that again, how, how at the Omni, he puts us up on the Omni cause he, uh,
which is a great hotel. It's just on, on the hill right next to, uh, um, lower Broadway. It's right
through the middle of everything on one side of it. You can see lower Broadway on the other side.
You can see the hill and the Capitol. It's a beautiful place to be. And, uh, yeah, it is.
So we're at the Omni and they give you chocolates every morning on the pillows.
And he told us not to touch them and to bring them to him. Well, me and Tover came in after
a couple of beers and ate the chocolate. So he ordered us to tell the room attendant that we
didn't get chocolates for two days in a row and to bring him all three days of chocolates to him.
That Sunday when we were leaving on our way out to the airport and, uh, and, uh, anyhow, I told him,
I said, we're going to eat all the fucking chocolates again, too. And, and he said, again,
he said, you do that. Don't bother coming back. So I already threatened him with the chocolates.
He loves those fucking chocolates. I told him, I said, dude, the guy said he would get you a box
of them. He said, yeah, he said, and he did get me a box of them, but that's not the point.
I want your chocolates too. So I'm like, okay, Rick, okay, I'll make sure. And your chocolates
will be delivered to you. So anyhow, but we, oh, the whole point is we have to go back down to the
filthy bean coffee in Nashville. And by the way, his expressos added another market. His expressos
are now in Louisville and they actually showed up the week after I left. Piss me off. Well,
he's going to send us some again anyhow, but still I was going to go into the Kroger there,
whatever they have, I didn't get a chance to go to any stores, whatever their store is there and go
in there and get them. Uh, you know, if, but I didn't even know they were going to be there in
Louisville until afterwards. He told me, oh, Hey, we're now selling them in Louisville. And, um,
and I think he said that he's going to hit Cincinnati next with the filthy bean expressos.
Yeah. So he's expanding. He said he had some trouble cause I haven't really kept up because
we haven't been able to go over there. He's been having a lot of trouble being distributed enough
of it because it's selling so well. So anyhow, we'll be pimping his stuff and broadcasting from
there, but we're eventually going to get back to the city market and start broadcasting from there.
And I spoke with a lot of the business owners and they want to have a feature business of the week
there that we focus in on, on this podcast. Some of them might be interviews with the people in
there or they might just be something they wrote down or we go in there and eat some of their stuff
and come out and go, you know what? This was very good. This is our favorite. We like this really
well. You know, ask for that, ask for this, and they'll all be offering little discounts and stuff,
you know, like, uh, uh, like Hope Dylan did of the daily kitchen, um, offered a 10% discount on her
already low prices and are already lunch special of $15. That's 10% on top of that with the great
food. It comes with a salad, the entree and a drink 15 bucks plus 10% off. Yes. That's a great
deal. It's a fucking great deal and it's great food. It's all fresh locally sourced. So, you know,
guys have at it, go there, buy it, uh, try to let her know it's, you know, that you, we sent you,
you heard about it from us, try to, cause it's going to help the podcast out in the long run.
Okay. So anyhow, that's what I wanted to get to. And I think we're going to go ahead and sign off
here pretty quick. So, um, anyhow, Rob, I thank you again for joining us. Uh, it's always a pleasure
doing a podcast with you. Always. Yep. And Topher sends his, uh, regards to you and, uh, oh, well,
cool. Yeah. He's, he noticed the, he noticed the growth in you. He noticed the growth. Oh, good.
Yeah. He thinks that you're doing quite splendid as a sidekick and he's really happy with you.
And it would not surprise me if we're going to start getting some regular inserts from Topher,
if maybe not even do a live one here and there with him. So, yeah, yeah. Yeah. He's, he's off
the air a few times. Yeah. He has such, he's so good on the podcast. We love to have him back,
but only when he's comfortable with it, only when he's comfortable and he's ready to do it. So
anyhow, Topher knows how we feel and, uh, hopefully he will at least come back and do a segment if he
records it at home or wants to come down to city market and do a little bit or whatever. It's fine,
but it was cool. He talked to Hope a little bit, the owner of the daily kitchen today too. And we
had a nice chat with her. So anyhow, everybody have a great night and thank you again for listening.
This pos, this podcast is still growing. We're still young ones. We're still in diapers. Bear
with us. Thank you everybody. Have a good week. Have a great week. Bye.
Hey, where'd everybody go? Where are the douchebags? Oh my God. Someone took a dump in the corner. Oh,
geez. Glad they're gone. Let's just hope they don't come back. Man, that smells.