Live from the historic River Market District in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the banks of the beautiful Crystal Blue Waters of the Missouri River, it is Two Boosh Bags and Microphone Podcast.
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.
Okay, so I have a shredded chicken soft taco. Now I'm going to lay it flat, open it up, and then I'm going to roll it tightly the other way. Will it then suddenly become a taquito?
Hmm. I may never know.
Right, hello everybody, this is Two Boosh Bags and Microphone, I'm Mark. And I'm Rob. First off, I would like to say this. Here we are, two games into the regular NFL season.
And we have the collective 0-4 from Lil Joey Burrow and Big Bad fucking Justin Herbert. Everybody's darling that could not quit, could not get out, just hugged these two to death. Oh, they're so good.
Fuck you idiots. Anyhow, I know it's an early season, but 0-2 is not an easy thing to overcome. And anyhow, here's what I got to say to both of them and anybody that loves hugging them. Suck it. Suck it. Anyhow.
There has been a lot of talk before pre-season. There's been a lot of gum smacking, even though the last I checked we are the defending world champions. Even though I heard a lot of gum smacking from these apologists from these two teams.
And then you have the Broncos and Sean Payton. Blah, blah, blah. And those fucking guys that were there before. Blah, blah, blah. Oh my god, that Nathaniel Hackett. Blah, blah, blah. Oh, we're going to kick the shit out of my homes.
Guess what Denver's record is? Oh, and fucking two. So all you Denver apologists, suck it. And then Los Angeles Raiders, who were in first place, sold first place, now are sharing it with us, got their ass stomped and little Jimmy Garoppolo had like 78 fucking yards and about three interceptions.
Meanwhile everyone else could not wait to go, this just in, this just in, the Chiefs are over. Ha, ha, ha. Okay then. Alright. Keep your gum smacking, it's amusing.
So, anyhow. So Rob, so how was your weekend?
Actually, I took yesterday off. I went around with a friend and we went fishing and just got away. I've been a dame to myself.
Good, good. It sounded like you needed that. I really needed it. I had a very long week.
Yeah.
We're getting sort of work and facing layoffs and of course I'm not up for layoff, damn it. But unfortunately my son's one of the first because of seniority. So yeah, it was a little, but then we got a last minute order Friday that saved everybody. So it turned out to be a good week.
Good, good, good. So your son is still employed as of right now?
Yes, he is.
Okay, good.
Yeah, Friday afternoon we got a late minute order for 50 trailers.
Good.
Which saved, there was three people getting laid off right.
And it saved all three of them.
Three of them. And yeah, we got a last minute order. Thank you God.
Good.
And everybody out there, say a prayer. Say a prayer like in another thousand.
It's slowing down down here.
Yeah, I think things are slowing.
A lot of people are slowing down.
Go ahead.
I'll just say a lot of people are slowing down down here. It's after Labor Day. It's starting to shut down anyway. But with the economy the way it is and everything.
Interest rates, gas prices.
Yeah, it's starting to hurt. And now people are, boat sales are slowing down.
I build boat trailers.
Meanwhile, we build boat trailers.
Joe Biden is out there in the front lawn at the White House telling her when to get off it. Anyhow, go ahead.
Yeah, yeah. It's not just our company. There's other boat companies down here that are slowing down and laying people off.
But, you know, it's the way it goes down here.
Well, that's a part of construction and manufacturing I do not miss. Is that right there?
Always, you know, always something stupid happening. You could be on the chopping block.
Right.
Or in some cases you get older and get a new knee. Or in some cases you get older and get a new knee and a hurt shoulder and they just decide to replace you with somebody younger. But that person younger doesn't do a good job anyhow.
But who am I? Who am I to judge this? Who am I to judge this?
Like I said, I don't give a fuck about them at all. I have fun and I'm going to continue to razz and fucking rattle the cage because I know they listen.
Because, you know what, I'm not even going to go into it. I'm just going to tell them this right here.
I know you guys listen because I have a detailed graphical map of where these pings come from and where the show is being downloaded. I know you listen. So why do you think I'm mouthed off about you guys all the time?
Because.
That's why. So we're going to get into a little secret. I know you're listening.
So, anyhow, like I said, I'm doing much better so who gives a fuck about them. But at the same time I will never miss an opportunity to make fun of them.
Because that's who I am. Right?
And they can't deny me who I am, can they Rob?
No they cannot.
I have a right to be who I am. That's right.
And who I am, I'm a smart ass.
Alright, hey, you want to get to the story?
Yeah.
Okay, why not? You know, hey, you know what, we're having a little chuckle and we think we're amusing. Everyone else is probably like, get to the story asshole.
You think that's what's going on?
Okay, did you hear about the county coroner that made a couple of wrong moves and a body was left in his car overnight for a funeral the next day?
And, well, I guess it got pretty fucking stinky and ruined the whole funeral.
I guess you didn't hear about it, did you?
No, I didn't.
Okay, it is alleged that Morgan County coroner Raymond Van Cleave did not have more, or the freezer or cooling system privileges at any local hospital or other appropriate facility and said privileges being suspended due to a failure to timely retrieve bodies.
As the body of Nathan Payton, well, that even rhymes. Hey, who's in there? Nathan Payton?
Alright, okay, sorry Nathan Payton and the great beyond. We never miss an opportunity for a funny, right?
Oh, of course.
Okay, Nathan Payton sat inside Van Cleaver's car, the corpse, rapidly decomposing while sealed with the body bag that was left inside of Raymond Van Cleave's hot motor vehicle.
Here's what I don't get. This Van Cleave coroner guy, right? How the fuck did he transport that body to the funeral if it smelled that bad?
When you be gagging and going, you know what, there's something wrong, I better not do this. When you be like, you know, calling ahead and going, hey guys, we got a serious situation, something.
Well, I'll go ahead and go on with the story because I didn't read it all, but this already just seems fishy, doesn't it?
Yeah, why would you keep going?
Van Cleave allegedly, yeah, yeah, exactly. Van Cleave allegedly took the body the next day to the medical examiner's office in Frankfurt for an autopsy. It was not requested by the family.
The ME allegedly noticed that the body was moderately decomposed, but when the funeral home came to get Nathan Payton's body the following day, things appeared to have gone from bad to much worse.
The body of Nathan Dean Payton was decomposed so badly due to mishandling by then More County coroner Raymond Van Cleave that the smell emanating from the body bag was pungent and putrid, the lawsuit alleges.
According to the complaint, the smell was so bad that Nathan Payton's body, Nathan Payton's, I'm sorry, I can't get past that. Anyhow, Nathan Payton's body couldn't be embalmed due to almost complete decomposion.
So this guy kept this body for so long and failure to turn it into a cooler or for embalming, they were so decomposed that they couldn't even do it anymore.
Sadly, his body would be left sealed inside the body bag and placed inside a coffin for burial, the lawsuit says.
The funeral service had to be conducted with a closed casket due to the unbearable smell that emanated from the casket.
Even then, people who attended the funeral six days later were sickened by the smell.
Multiple pallbearers, visitors and funeral home staff vomited and became ill of the foul and pungent odor coming from Mr. Payton's coughing, the complaint says.
The family and loved ones of Nathan Dean Payton were not able to properly say goodbye to him at a normal funeral due to the reckless and negligent treatment of his corpse.
The lawsuit accuses Van Cleave and other county officials of reckless, negligent and careless behavior and is seeking an unspecified amount of damages.
According to Payton's lawyer, Van Cleave resigned from his coroner post after notice of Payton's claims was filed.
We are not saying that Mr. Van Cleave or any former or current member of the Morgan Fiscal Court are bad people, attorney Donald McFarland said in a statement emailed to Law and Crime.
We are alleging that a mistake was made when it came to the treatment of the corpse of Nathan Payton.
The abuse was negligent, careless and in my opinion, was reckless.
McFarland said that Payton, a military veteran, had sought psychiatric treatment at the VA hospital due to the trauma of the nightmare situation.
No human being should have been treated this way that Nathan Payton was treated, the statement continued.
He should have been treated with respect and dignity as his family, especially his brother, Basil Payton, should have been able to properly say farewell to their loved one in a dignified manner.
We simply do not want any family of Morgan County to have to go through what Payton's family has been made to endure, the statement added.
Imagine that something like this would happen to someone that you love.
You know what? 100%. 100%. These people should get whatever the fuck they ask for in my opinion.
That is complete buffoonery and I don't know what else. I don't even know how to describe it. It is so fucking dumb.
Dumb? I mean, you got any words for it Rob? What would you describe it?
No, I don't. I have no words to describe that. I really don't.
No, I don't either. I don't know what to say except what the...
I don't think there are words to describe that.
There isn't. All I got is what the fuck, guys. That Morgan County...
What is wrong with people?
Yeah. The thing that gets me is this body was smelling so bad. It was smelling so damn bad that people couldn't have a funeral with it.
They were vomiting six days later and this guy drove that fucking body there.
What the fuck is wrong with that guy, Van Cleve, that's getting sued? That guy is a ghoul in my opinion.
Yeah, he should have stopped it. He should have stopped it.
Yeah. What a horrible story.
It's your job.
Yeah, you were supposed to be like the last defense in someone that's defenseless, right?
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, that's... Yeah. Or on the sirt they're defenseless. Yeah. So...
It's like I was saying. You had one job to do.
Yeah. Perfect, Rob. I can see the guy above him right now. Van Cleve, see me in my office in two minutes.
I got a question. Did he get an employee of the month?
It did not state it so I'm going to say no.
I'll be guessing that, okay.
I see Van Cleve come in there. Yes, sir. You had one job to do. One fucking job, Van Cleve.
Oh, wow.
Well, yeah, we're making fun of it but it really is a horrible situation and I...
Right, right. No, it is. I mean, you've got to put yourself in that family's shoes and everything. But still, man. Come on.
Well, I mean, people were fucking vomiting six days later.
I know.
Man.
I really... Well, anyhow, look, I think that this family, whatever they say, should go.
If they say that part of the settlement is they take Van Cleve and fucking cut his nuts off and make him eat him, that's fine with me.
Whatever. The floor is theirs for whatever. They could say $30 billion and Van Cleve has to cut his own balls off and eat him in front of us.
Then so be it. That's the way I feel about this and that's how bad this thing was fucked up. That's how bad it was screwed up. So, wow.
That... Honestly, I take that shit as possibly some criminal charges.
Yes. Yeah, like criminal neglect. And there's things about corpses...
Yes, yes. To go into a deceased body or something.
Well, there's things about corpses. There's different unique laws when it comes to corpses and there should be, right?
Yeah. Yeah, there is. There is.
So, I'm sure there's a lot of them that would cover this. That they could throw at the guy criminally. And he could say, you know what, I was negligent. Doesn't matter.
This is one of those things that if you're that negligent, you deserve what you get, including criminal.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, I agree with it 100%, Rob.
I mean, sometimes when you're doing a job, you have to do what you know is right.
And this guy did not, clearly, did not do what was right. Exactly. Exactly. And he knew it. He would have had to have known it.
I mean, the guy had to stop for fucking vomit breaks on the way to the funeral home. Had to have.
So, wow. Yeah.
That's, you know what, my whole statement on this whole thing, I just changed.
I mean, I want everything like that, you know, whatever the family says. If they wanted to fucking cut his nuts off with a fucking pair of pliers and eat him or whatever. That's fine with me.
But, and then 30 trillion dollars, that's fine with me. But my official statement for this whole damn barn of shit, ball of shit is, wow. That's it.
What's your statement, Rob?
That's it. Wow. Wow. And one job to do. You had one job to do, fuckface.
One job to, you had one job, man.
Yep. Yep. And you clearly blew it. But you know what's cool though? You know what's cool, Rob?
What?
We have Food Wars coming up.
Oh, cool.
Yeah, yeah. Remember that little segment where like, you know, a fucking pair of fucking flies out of the, out of its box and starts beating the shit out of a peach?
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Well this time we have stuff like Swanson Hungry Man dinners.
Oh, right on.
We have like a Wendy's chicken wrap. We have like Culver Butter's butter burgers fighting.
Oh, right on.
We even have Sonic Onion Rings fighting in this one.
Oh, right on.
Yeah. Yeah, so you want to get to a little bit lighter, lighter hearted story right after we take a break?
Sure.
Alright, coming up. Food Wars part, what, but seven?
I don't know.
Okay. Food Wars part seven.
I'd better keep track.
Me neither. Food Wars part seven coming up.
When taking a shower, remember to scrub your asshole with soapy water because nobody likes a stinky asshole.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
Mary, your grandmother always intruded your thoughts at the last minute while you are masturbating.
Two monkey fuckers and a toaster will be right back.
Invisible ass paddlings, new douche flavors and horrible pranks. The fuck is wrong with these guys?
Break Shit House Energy Drink. That's right. Break Shit House Energy Drink. Make men and women a good girl.
Chomp your balls. You want to fuck shit up? You want to fuck shit up?
Break Shit House is for you.
Please enjoy Break Shit House Energy Drink responsibly. It's not readily available anywhere because of liability issues.
Music
Well, just before the break we were talking about Food Wars.
And we need something a little bit lighter hearted after that first horrible story.
This originated in a Costco I believe. I was going through the produce and I saw a grape or something.
I was like, man, what would happen if that grape jumped out and just started beating the shit out of that avocado?
Who would win? And then it went on to I think, wasn't the last one we did Household Appliances?
I think so.
Yeah, I think it's like a washer against a, I don't know, a vacuum or something. Yeah.
Yeah, we've done all kinds of things.
Yeah, yeah. Who knows what our fucking crazy minds came up with that week.
So, what I have now is some new Food Wars and this isn't appliances, but this is like actual fast food and also like TV dinners and stuff you can buy on the go.
Oh, cool.
Yeah. So, the first matchup I have and I don't have any idea on any of these because when I put them down, I was having trouble identifying who was the lead and what.
I even tried them at a couple of guys at work and we have two definites and the rest of them were kind of up in there and people were kind of like, maybe this or maybe that.
So, we'll see what people think. The first one is Swanson Hungry Man Dinner with Fried Chicken versus Stouffer's Meat Lasagna.
That's a tough one because they're both kick ass meals, right?
A chicken.
The chicken because it has bones.
It has bones, right?
The bones would beat the hell out of it like a bat.
Okay, that was one of the clear cut ones at work.
So, okay, good. I'm pretty convinced of that one.
Okay.
Yeah, me too.
The next one, Hormel Beef Chili versus Libby's Chicken Tortilla Soup.
Now, the chili could be spicy, right?
Which could give it an edge.
Yeah.
But chicken tortilla soup and Libby's in particular is pretty spicy.
And it has those little red peppers in it.
So, I'm thinking, maybe the tortilla soup has an advantage because it's a little spicier and a little bit more runnier.
It could like surround the chili and then succumb it with spice.
I think you're right on that.
I think that little bit of spice would do it, yeah.
Okay, all right.
Well, thank you, Hormel Beef Chili.
You can go back to serving families across America for 70 plus years.
Thank you for participating.
Oh, and I forgot to say Stouffer's Meat Lasagna.
Thank you for participating.
You can go back to serving Americans to find meals.
Thank you.
All right, next one.
This is just a bean burrito.
It could be Taco Bell.
It could be a frozen one.
It could be one at 7-Eleven.
It could be one at Quick Trip.
It could be one at Taco John's versus an Apple Turnover.
It could be an Apple Turnover at McDonald's.
It could be an Apple Turnover at your favorite grocery store in the bakery section.
So, just generic terms, a bean burrito versus an Apple Turnover.
See, I think a bean burrito would give the power of gassiness.
I give it to the Apple Turnovers.
Okay, what for?
Well, I know when you're making like chili or whatever and to break a little bit of the acidity and the spiciness, you add sugar.
So sugar would...
Would nullify the ingredient in the bean burrito.
And the bean burrito's main ingredient is a chili-like bean and meat.
Or maybe just the beans.
Yeah.
Okay, you know what?
That's better than what I had.
All right, Apple Turnover wins.
Thank you, bean burritos of any kind.
Thank you for the non-descript bean burrito.
You can go back to serving American families.
Thank you for your participation in the food wars.
Thank you.
This next one, a breaded pan-fried pork chop versus a breaded chicken-fried steak.
Oh.
I'm going with a pork chop because it has a bone in it.
I think the bone...
That was going to be my question.
Bone-less or boned?
No, no, no.
That's the way I imagine it.
So...
And you have that bone that's got a sharp edge to it that you could like dive into.
The bone takes it.
Yeah, I think the bone takes it too.
So, all right.
The pan-fried pork chop wins.
Thank you, breaded chicken-fried steak.
Thank you for your participation.
You can go back to making American families full and happy with delight.
Anyhow, yeah.
So, all right.
Next one.
Steak soup versus broccoli and cheese soup.
So, okay.
Here's how I'm going to put this.
And this is just between me and you.
The steak soup that you used to have at Jess and Jim's versus broccoli and cheese soup from Panera.
Does that help it out any?
Oh, I think I'm going to have to go with the steak.
Me too, just because it's better.
And also...
The weight of the steak...
It's heavier.
...smashed that steamed broccoli.
Yeah, broccoli. Yeah, that's right.
The broccoli is really soft.
When you drop that steak on it, it just smashes it.
It will smash it to hell.
And then the cheese sauce does nothing.
The cheese sauce is a pussy.
Let's face it.
The cheese sauce is pussy-ish, right?
The cheese sauce just kind of sits there and you come in there and start smacking shit around.
The cheese sauce is the first one running for the door, right?
Yep.
Alright then.
This next one.
Chef Boy RD ravioli versus Hormel beef tamales.
I'm going to say tamales because tamales are bigger, more bulky.
And I think if they land on a ravioli, it's going to smash a ravioli all to hell.
And besides that, Chef Boy RD is a fat fuck.
Right?
I think Chef Boy RD...
First sign of violence and he's crying and he's running out of the room, right?
Yep.
With his goofy little hat and his stupid little white pants.
So thank you Chef Boy RD, even though you're a little pussy, for feeding people with your tremendous ravioli-like substance.
You can go back to whatever you were doing before.
Probably being dead.
So anyhow, because it's been around a long time.
Thank you.
Yeah, thank you.
Okay, next one.
Have you ever had Costco's meatloaf that they sell in the deli?
No, I have not.
Okay.
Well, it's really good.
We don't have a Costco down there.
Yeah, Springfield's the closest one.
Yeah.
Okay.
Costco meatloaf's really spicy versus have you had Panda Express orange chicken?
I couldn't tell you about either one, so I'll take your opinion on this one.
Okay, I'm going to go with Costco meatloaf because it's much heavier.
It's a big block of meat that's cooked with the sauce on it.
And it's spicy and the Panda Express orange chicken, although it's crisp, I think could be smashed.
And I think it could be easily taken over by the Costco meatloaf.
Whatever you say, my friend.
Okay, all right then.
It will be Costco meatloaf.
This next one is really good.
And it could go either way in my opinion, but we'll see what you have to say.
Wendy's chicken wrap versus BK chicken fries.
And that's Burger King for all you non-cool people.
Yeah.
I don't know, I'm thinking the chicken wrap.
Yeah, bulkier, spicier.
More like a bat.
Yeah, more like a bat.
I like the chicken wrap.
Could like jump off the top ring and pin the chicken fries without very much effort.
Yeah.
You think it could Andre the giant it just like fucking land on it and then the chicken fries have nothing to say after that, right?
Oh, definitely.
Okay, the Wendy's chicken wrap it is.
Thank you BK chicken fries for coming in and being a part of our contest.
We wish you luck in your future endeavors.
All right, next one.
Culver's Butterburgers versus Whataburger.
Have you had both of them?
I have not had a Whataburger.
I have had but Culver's.
Okay.
I'm going to, oh go ahead.
Just from what I've seen and what I've heard, I think I'd have to give it to Whataburger.
You are correct.
You're correct, Rob.
Yes.
Because I have had the Butterburgers.
The only thing I would say would be maybe the butter would sputter it, but that'd be the only battle.
That would be the only battle.
But there's so much on the Whataburgers.
Whataburgers are much thicker, much more meatier, much heavier.
I could see them just flat out, just like, here's what I see it is.
The Whataburger would sneak up on the Culver's Butterburger, put it in a Phil Nelson, and put it in submission.
And then that would be the end of the Butterburger.
And then the Whataburger moves on.
It's like, all right man, job done here.
So, okay.
And then last but not least.
This is a battle royale.
Sonic Onion Rings versus DQ'd Fried Mushrooms.
Oh.
I'll have to give it to the Onion Rings.
Yes, because of size only.
Well, I'm taking the Mushrooms would throw themselves at it like a cannonball.
Go right to the damn center and miss it.
You know what? I'm gonna go with that, Rob.
The Mushrooms don't have enough aim or enough ass to throw themselves hard enough to do anything to an Onion Ring, and an Onion Ring's harder to hit.
I think it just goes right to the middle.
I think you're right. I think it's gonna go, watch this.
And then it just like flies through the middle and the Onion Ring's like, what was that?
Oh man.
That was a fried mushroom trying to get after you.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Go right there and it goes.
All right. Well, that is our food wars for this one.
That was a fun one.
It was. I liked that. I had more like that in the can.
Oh, I haven't mentioned, we're gonna go in and see if you want to talk about some stuff here in a minute.
But I have some more people that wrote in and what they think stars would be doing, what they look like they would be doing if they're not stars.
And I have a few of them. Yeah.
Yeah. I cannot believe for some reason that segment in particular has taken new life.
I mean, people just, it started with a couple of people sending them in and then just like one day I got like seven emails in a row and then I had a couple more.
And like this one, as soon as we did, as soon as that podcast came out, the last one that the one was on, the what people would be doing, what famous people would be doing according to what they look like if they weren't famous.
Right after that came out, we got a string of new ones.
So we'll go over them here in a little bit. But first we're going to turn to Rob and see what Rob, if he has something he wants to talk about.
Well, yeah, if you remember right. Yes. I have a new segment.
All righty, Rob, please go forth and let everybody out there know what it is.
Okay, we're going back to the old west hygiene.
I love that. I love that segment, dude. That segment is it's brilliant. So please.
Oh, yeah. Go down to the one I'm doing tonight.
Okay.
There we go. Okay.
The surprising truth behind in fruquent showers in the wild west.
Okay.
In the rugged dusty terrain of the American West, cleanliness took on a whole new meaning. The pioneers and cowboys had a peculiar notion that bathing too often could actually harm their health.
They feared that frequent washing would leave their pores vulnerable, becoming breeding grounds for bacteria and diseases.
However, the real reality was far from ideal. With limited access to clean and uncontaminated water, many sellers had no choice but to forego regular showers and baths.
Those did they know the reluctance to wash would result in unsanitary consequences. Cowboys clad in the same clothes day after day fell victim to stubborn fungal infections that forced and missed the grind.
Oh, there's tonight.
Yeah. Yeah. Could you imagine? I got this question for you, Rob. Now think about this a second. Do you think that that smell was appropriate back then that they didn't think anything of it?
No. You think about it. They didn't have perfumes. They didn't.
Yeah. Do you think that they didn't even notice body odor back then that it was just the way people smelled just just smelled like that?
Well, that's what got me wanting to do this statement because I've read I've read all these. Man. And I could see why. I mean, they had no choice.
But to live like that. Yeah. You know, yeah, it's just my own thing. Wondering if they actually knew they smelled horrible or if it was just accepted that everybody smelled like that. And it didn't really bother them.
I'm guessing. It was normal.
That's what I'm thinking, too. And I think now we have the ability to wash up really easily. We have the ability to put on deodorant that now whenever someone smells like that, that is not the norm. And it's like, oh, my God.
So just something I thought of. It doesn't mean anything. It just made me wonder, made me curious. And that's all. Yeah. So all right. Thank you, Rob. That was a really good segment. Very descriptive.
Oh, they get better. Okay. I do have another kid. Okay, go ahead.
Of the Spun NFL? Yes. NFL appears to have made final decision on Colin Kaepernick. Colin Kaepernick has not played in the NFL since the 2016. However, the former NFL quarterback continues to express interest in playing.
That's not happening, though. Well, Kaepernick had his agent inquire with the New York Jets following the injury to Aaron Rodgers.
ASC East franchise has no interest in signing him. It seems to be over for Kaepernick. NFL teams appear to be unanimous with their decision on signing Kaepernick. It's not happening.
It's not happening. Yes. And the reason it's not happening is, is they're not Bud Light. They're not done like Bud Light. They don't piss off their fan base that bad.
No. Yeah. And I'm not saying Bud Light was right or wrong, putting, I forgot the person's name in there and all that. But what I'm saying is, is whenever your fan base generally does not look, look to that as whatever.
You're going to be in a lot of trouble. That's what happened with Bud Light and Anheuser-Busch is they went against their fan base. So the NFL is not going to do that. No team is going to do that.
They're not going to open themselves up to that much hate and criticism by just hiring this guy because he's over there screaming he needs a job. You know what? He makes plenty of money being an activist and he's fine.
You know what, man? Maybe I want to go be a fucking underwear model, right? Well, guess what? It's not happening. So that's just the way it is. So calling Kaepernick, that's just the way it is.
And I'll go a step further. I read this and I was going to put in the final thought, but I'm not now because you brought it up. You know what? Sorry. No, no, no, no, no. I'm glad you brought it up.
Anyway, calling Kaepernick, you know that he agreed to a one year deal with the Jets. The Jets, however, did not agree to it.
Yeah. Yeah, I love that one. Just because of how it's worded. He's like, yeah, I agree to this. And the Jets are like, that's okay. Well, we thank you for your interest, but no. And that's a firm. That's a firm no.
All right, Rob. Those are great segments. Very much appreciated. You want me to go into something or you have something that you want to follow up?
Yeah, sure. Go ahead. But anytime, dig up something else.
Okay. All right. How about if we take a break and I'll come back about a Boulevard beer and what they did, which was a good thing.
You know, Boulevard beer, it used to just be a local beer, but now it's huge. It's everywhere all across the country. It was so big that Duval overseas bought them.
And anyhow, and they do very good together. They're one of the top breweries in America and they sell a lot of beer all over the country.
So anyhow, Kansas City's own Boulevard beer, a story on them when we come back.
New douchebags in a microphone, raw and uncensored. See behind the smoke show. Watch as the douchebags get stung by a stalk of bees. Enjoy one of many coffee houses ordering our heroes out.
Watch Mark revisit Clinton, Missouri to claim his innocence for all the man shitter accusations.
I'm not the man shitter. Act now and get both high quality DVD sets and a free douchebag calendar. Mark off the day with a douchebag looking at you. Supplies are limited, so act now.
This morning my phone said, don't call me Shirley. I accidentally put it on airplane mode.
Oh shit, what's that over there? Oh no, it's island of horrible jokes.
I asked my date to meet me at the gym. She didn't show up. I guess we're not going to work out.
Please remember to go to Cole's dressing room, wait five minutes and scream, hey, there's no toilet paper in here.
Alright, Rob Rad, like I said a little bit ago, Boulevard, Brewery in Kansas City, Missouri.
Remember this particular guy? I was up there when they come out, yes. It was 1989, I remember the year well. Good year for me. Yep. Me too.
Yep, yep, yep, yep, had a lot of fun times. So anyhow.
Had a lot of Boulevard beer. Yes, that's what I was getting ready to, a lot of fun times that involved Boulevard beer.
So, Boulevard beer in 1989 was the establishment, the established, was established in 1989. It took off from there quickly.
But, okay, after nearly 30 years of working at PONAC's Mexican Kitchen on Southwest Boulevard, I think everyone's been there.
I think everyone's been there. The KY-102 jocks meet there like once every half a year or so. It used to be like once a month.
But the old KY-102 jocks meet there like once every half a year or something. And they put it up on that KY-102 website.
I think you're a part of it. I thought I saw, you know, Randy Rayleigh, the DJ in Kansas City for many years. Yeah, he.
I'm on one of his Facebook pages. Yeah, that's what I thought. I think you're on there. Yeah.
Well, they have their brunches or whatever at PONAC's maybe every six months. It used to be like every month.
And it'd be like whoever's left, whoever's around to do it, they would show up at PONAC's at a certain time.
And they would have like a little KY-102 reunion. And it's been cool, you know. It's really cool seeing all the old, the old sirs out there.
And they'd be telling their stories. And some of it they put on video. Some of it they just snap pictures of.
So anyhow, this place right here at PONAC's, which is very famous Kansas City eatery, Mexican restaurant on Southwest Boulevard.
After nearly 30 years of working at PONAC's Mexican Kitchen, the man who poured the first ever Boulevard beer sold is hanging up the bottle opener.
The company wanted to tip their cap to Adam Scott before his last day, so the founder made a visit Monday.
So I hear you're retiring, John McDonald, the founder of Boulevard Brewing Company said.
Yeah, I'm done Friday, brother, replied Scott.
Well, I thought I'd bring you a little bit of beer, McDonald said.
When McDonald needed a spot for people to get a taste of what he was brewing up, he came to PONAC's and he came to Adam Scott to make sure, to make the pour.
They even have the pictures to prove it. And which is true, they have the pictures of it up there actually at PONAC's.
And they also have them at Boulevard Beer. It's pretty cool.
So, anyhow, but any, let's see, they have the pictures proved, but it wasn't that is now when McDonald and his friends rolled the barrel down the Boulevard.
And I imagine they probably did back in those days because Boulevard Beer, Boulevard Brewing Company is right across the road from PONAC's.
So they probably did roll it down the road, I don't know.
So, anyhow, the man who poured the first glass will be honest with you.
But I was like, give me a minute, I'll get it cold, we'll be okay.
We poured it over, I guess they did roll it down the fucking road.
Okay. But I was like, give me a minute, I'll get it cold, we'll be okay.
We poured it over ice, gave it a couple of guys and it was okay.
Some liked it, some didn't, Scott said.
The legacy Scott leaves behind is more than just the moment Kansas City's own Boulevard Beer made its debut.
It's about the impact it's had on the community for nearly three decades, which it has.
It's provided great local jobs, it's provided a national presence for a great drink.
It has been a great advertiser for the Royals, the Chiefs, local TV, local newscasts.
It has been the perfect company for Kansas City and it boasts Kansas City.
It boasts Kansas City. Go ahead.
Go ahead. Oh, I was just going to add that Boulevard helped open the doors for microbreweries in Kansas City.
It did and they helped microbreweries. They partnered up with a lot of the craft breweries around Kansas City.
They opened the door for all them to come in.
Yes. Yeah, so Boulevard has done a great job of all of this and also showcasing Kansas City for a long run there.
And this was regional, it was in a five, six state area.
They didn't have it everywhere, but they had brews like Boss Tom's.
Boss Tom's brew was Boss Tom Pentragast.
Pretty much the guy that helped Harry Truman get into office.
He was a very strong, one of the strongest organized crime figures in America at his time.
A lot of influence and he had this Bach kind of a beer that he loved.
And they got a hold of that recipe and made it the best they could.
And it was a very good beer. I used to drink it all the time.
They sold it in bottles and they sold it in some tap rooms.
I really enjoyed that beer, but they used to put on the label from the Prairie of the Plains.
Kansas City has long been called, no not Prairie, Paris.
I'm not being able to speak again tonight, I'm sorry.
Hey, you know what, you're getting your money's worth on this podcast, it's free.
Yeah, you are.
So, Paris of the Plains means all the fountains were City of Fountains.
We're known as City of Fountains and we're also known as Paris of the Plains.
And on this bottle, on the six pack containers and all that, when they sold it,
it said on there, from Paris of the Plains, and it said Boss Tom's Recipe.
And I was always interested in all that stuff.
I always read up on my history. I loved history.
I loved history, especially history around that time.
Because organized crime was so strong, it was so in bed with the politics,
and Kansas City was the hub of it.
Yeah, it was.
And this beer in particular really opened my eyes to what a beer could do.
To how they could entwine history and how people could look at this and go,
you know what, this is not just a brew, but this is a part of history.
This is really cool.
And so, the guys were now their way to find this prominent figure,
to find the beer that he chose to drink, that he had made for him,
and to have this, you know, and to make this.
And they did it for several years.
They finally, I think it's discontinued, but a boulevard can always bring something back.
But it seems to me since, and I'm not dogging Duval, since Duval bought them,
I think that they're doing a little less local and they're doing a little bit more national.
So I don't think they're necessarily as interested in a Boss Tom's regional product like they used to be.
So, anyhow, it was great while it lasted, and I wish they still made it, but they don't, but that's okay.
You know, at least they sell yin-ling in Missouri, don't they Rob?
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
You got that picture.
Yes, I did.
I finally bought my first yin-ling.
Yes.
Righty.
The store that I go to has had it in cans.
But not bottles.
I did not want my first yin-ling in a can. I wanted it in glass.
Rob, you were correct.
And I'm staring at her, looking, and I found the yin-ling white.
Mm-hmm.
And I'm like, ah man, I don't want to try it. I want to try the traditional.
You do?
I get looking around, they had one 12-pack of the traditional west. I bought it.
Oh, yeah. So, Rob, did you try it?
I killed it overnight, buddy. I think that's one of the best beers I've had in a long time.
It is a fantastic brew, and I'll give you another secret.
Go ahead.
It takes me back to back in the early 90s when I was drinking rolling rock.
Yes. It also reminds me of the fire brew beer, Stroh's.
Yeah, yeah. And yeah, it's like a cross between those two.
Yeah.
I really like it. I really like it.
It's a very, it's a really good beer. I'll give you your next thing that you got to do.
This is a homework assignment for you, okay, Rob?
Okay.
Okay. You have to go into a place that has good taps, like you know what I mean, beers?
Yes.
Okay. And a place that does the taps right. They keep it chilled right, they clean out everything, all that.
Okay.
Right.
Find a place that has good taps. You go in there, and you ask them, hey, you have Yenling on draft? Yeah, we do.
Okay. Do you use the Nitrous with the Yenling?
And if they say no, you walk out. If they say yes, you get that right there and ask for it in an ice cold frosted mug.
That would be the best beer you've ever had, I do believe.
That would be right there, Steph.
Okay.
Place with good taps.
With Nitrous.
Yes.
If they say no, you turn around immediately and don't address them. They're not worth talking to.
And if they say yes, you say pour me one of them motherfuckers and have one on standby.
There you go.
Alright, Rob, that is your assignment.
So, anyhow, back to the story. The legacy Scott leaves behind is more than just the moment Kansas City's own Boulevard Beer made his debut.
It's about the impact he's had on the community for nearly three decades.
As well as the people that made it so special for him. He's meant a lot. It's like you haven't had the full PONAC experience until you've been yelled at by the awesome British guy.
And I've actually been in there and I didn't know that was Scott.
Yeah, the British guy. Everybody knows who he is at PONAC.
It's like a way of passage for a lot of people. Spencer Shaw, the Assistant General Manager at PONAC said,
It's family. It's better than family people. I've been working with my kitchen staff for 30 odd years, Scott said.
For now, he'll enjoy the farewell tour while snapping a few pics along the way.
Including one with him and John McDonald in front of the picture they took way back in 1989, which is hanging in the lobby at Boulevard when you come out of the tasting room.
It's in the swag room. And then it's also in PONACs in their main dining room.
Scott told us not only are we his co-workers and his family, but his customers are his friends.
Adam Scott's last day is Friday and this was printed out about a week ago.
So I think Adam Scott is probably already retired and probably drinking some of that free beer, wouldn't you think?
Yeah, I do. Yeah, that's what I'd be doing.
Yeah, me too. I would be scratching my nuts and drinking that beer like a champion.
Is that what you'd be doing?
Definitely.
You'd be scratching those natsicles?
Definitely. Ain't that what retirement's for?
That is what retirement's for, scratching your nuts and drinking beer.
And also being mean to telemarketers.
And enjoying life.
Yes, and being brutal to telemarketers.
Oh, I do that anyway.
Oh, me too, but you got kicking up a notch when you're retired so they'll quit calling.
Right?
Well, no, you gotta have something to do. You need them to keep calling back.
Yeah, this is true. Yeah, okay.
You get bored.
Oh, you know what? You gotta string them along. That's right.
It's like every time you call back, I'll give you another three numbers off my credit card.
Ha ha ha ha.
That sounds like fun.
Yeah, it does. Oh, I strung this one asshole long for a long, long time.
That said that I owed the IRS money. This is a couple years ago.
And actually, I just ran out of time. Me and a friend of mine was driving back.
It was my friend Sandor. We were driving back from, I think it was Denver, on a job.
And anyhow, it was like we were going through Kansas and this fuck called me.
He said, yeah, you owe the IRS $30,000.
I'm like, oh, really? Oh shit. What am I going to do? Oh my. Oh gosh. Oh golly.
Is there anything I can do? Can I like send you the money so I can stay out of prison?
Oh, yeah. Yeah. You can send us money. Yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, thank God. Oh, shoot. Shoot.
And then I start fumbling around and I start saying weird shit like, oops.
And the guy go, what? I go, oh, um, we hit an armadillo.
What? You know, it's like a little thing with like a, you know, a big snout on it, like an animal.
And so then the guy, you know, okay, okay. So, um, then I'd be like getting ready to read him the numbers off.
I go, oh, what? What? What? And I go, oh man, I got a weird twitch in my leg. It hurts really bad.
I wish you were here to massage it. I just kept throwing him off with all this weird shit.
So then finally I get to the number that I'm supposedly giving him, my credit card.
I go, yeah. I go, do you take a master visa?
What? Master Visa, Mx?
Oh, no, no, no, visa master, uh, uh, discover.
You won't take master card visa, Nx, or no master visa, Nx.
And so that, oh, no, no, no, forget it. Forget. Nope. It's a master card. I'm sorry.
So, um, and then first I gave him a visa number just to see if he would catch it because master cards for visas, five or vice versa or something like that. Right.
So any I go, oh yeah. Four, one, five, seven or what? No, uh, visa, visa is four master cards, five, I think.
So I was telling him I had a master card and I started off with like fours or something and he didn't even notice.
I go, oh, wrong number. Hang on. Hang on. That's my visa in my master card because it starts with a five.
You hear the guy getting a little nervous and moving around. Then you can hear him whisper to somebody because I think somebody's whispered in his ear going, Hey man, this dude's fucking with you. Right.
So anyhow, I started off, I go, uh, five, two, seven, four.
And I go, did you get that? And the guy go, yeah, five, two, seven, four. No, no, no, no, no. No. I said seven, six, three, two.
What? Seven, six, three, two. Then you hear him like scribbling it out right now. Seven, six, three, two. Did you get those four numbers? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Seven, six, three, two.
What? No, no, no, no. That was five, five, one, seven.
I had him on these numbers for probably 15 minutes. Sandor was laughing so hard. I think he either caught on or he heard Sandor laughing in the background. He knew I was screwing with him.
And he finally hung up and then he calls me back. Oh my God. Yeah. And he called me a redneck.
And I'm like, oh my God. Did you say thank you? I acted like I was crying because he called me a redneck and he hung up on me. Oh God. Why? Why?
Oh, he was so mad at me. And then I started getting weird calls with hangups and stuff. So I think he like turned my number into some other idiots. And I think if they followed suit, like hey, screw with this guy. He kept me on the horn for like an hour and a half.
He just caught me on the wrong day when we had fucking time going to Denver. Coming back from Denver. And anyhow, I ran out of time anyhow because we're actually, by the time we got done with that call, I mean we had to stop and get gas and shit and that would have interrupted everything.
So anyhow, we actually pulled into one of those interstate things on I-70 where you can go into the coastal market or whatever. And we're pulled in there and I actually had to wait like a minute for the guy to get really mad and hang up.
So anyhow, where was I? Where did all that originate? Oh well.
We were. I don't remember where we left off. I know we were talking about Boulevard Beer at one point.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we started talking about TAPS.
Yeah, it just went everywhere like normal.
Yeah, okay. Well anyhow, Yenling is great. And like I said, you have it written down. That's your assignment.
Got it.
Got it. Got it. Okay. All right. And before we get done with this podcast here, it doesn't seem like it should already be done, does it? But we're going on an hour.
No, I don't.
Okay. Well, we're not going to get to what people look like if they weren't famous. They look like they would be if they're not famous.
How about if I do a few of the inductees for 2024 of the Guinness Book of World Records? That sound good?
That sounds good. That sounds good.
Okay. All right. 2024 Guinness Book of World Record inductees include these people.
Mia Peterson, 16, from California has broken the record for the most people a berini flipped over from a quarter pipe on roller skates.
Berini flipped is where they do that three quarter flip over?
Yeah.
That's a berini flip from a quarter pipe on roller skates. That's pretty fucking talented.
Damn. A roller skate.
On roller skates. Yes. No skateboard nothing. Roller skates.
Another teenager has kept himself away from trouble by nabbing three world records. They didn't tell the guy's name on this one for some reason.
Managing to achieve the most juggling catches in one minute with five, six, and seven objects.
The next one. Nicholas Cherrywood has the largest collection of Care Bears in the world and he still has the virginity.
I would not admit that.
No. I added that.
No. I would not admit to having all the damn Care Bears.
Oh, oh, okay. Yes. Me neither.
I mean, hell, the second part, you got the Care Bears, second part, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. He has his virginity besides the Care Bears. Trust me on this.
If you got the Care Bears, you got the virginity. It's a package deal.
It's a package deal. Yes it is.
Amir Madenda is only 14 but has cultivated the world's largest afro. His impressive head of hair is 7.74 inches high, 9.77 inches wide, and a circumference of 88 inches.
I'm not going to take that one.
I'm going to bow to his hair greatness. Great job, sir.
Yes, yes. Congratulations for your achievement.
Yes. Tian Ru has a 50-story house of cards built in 12 hours which has a height of just over 11 foot, also known as Capitol Hill.
I added that.
50-story house of cards built in 12 hours.
That's pretty quick.
Yeah. Yep.
Grace from the good old US of A holds the record for most fire hoops spun simultaneously with no fewer than eight at a time.
Pretty good. Pretty solid.
That's interesting.
United Arab Emirates has hosted the largest gathering of people dressed like astronauts at 940.
I want to know who the fuck came up with the idea of most people dressed as astronauts and actually did this and got the world record?
Somebody that does not have a life.
I agree. And US Badass, 73-year-old Jenny McCall is the world's oldest competitive female ninja athlete.
She has appeared on the 2023 series on NBC American Ninja Warrior. She did complete the course but did not have the best time.
So she is 73 years old, the oldest person to compete and complete the American Ninja Warrior course.
Right on.
Good for her.
Yeah. Tommy.
I couldn't do it.
I couldn't either. That's what I'm saying. 73 years old. God bless her.
Tommy, a 13-year-old steer, is the tallest coming in at 6 foot 1 inch.
And finally, but not least, Tom Enoch has Down syndrome. He holds the fitness record of most push-ups on push-up burpees in 1 minute and 16.
And the burpees is the really one where they have to come in and crunch, you know, fold it over.
Right, right. Yeah, yeah.
That takes a lot of stamina, my friends. I'm going to gulp some water and get rid of this ragweed that's fucking lumped in my throat.
So, anyhow, we'll be right back with podcast number 2. But this is podcast number 1 saying thanks for listening, guys. We appreciate you. Have a great night.
Good night.
Hey, where did everybody go? Where are the douchebags?
Oh my God, someone took a dump in the corner. Oh, geez.
Ugh, I'm glad they're gone. Let's just hope they don't come back. Man, that smells.