1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Live from the historic River Market District in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the 2 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:16,000 banks of the beautiful Crystal Blue Walkers of the Missouri River, it is Two Douchebags 3 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:19,000 and Microphone Podcast. 4 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:26,000 Two douchebags in a microphone, raw and uncensored. See behind the smoke show. Watch as the douchebags 5 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:33,000 get stung by a forked bee. Enjoy one of many coffee houses ordering our heroes out. Watch 6 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:38,000 Mark revisit Clinton, Missouri to claim his innocence for all the mad shitter accusations. 7 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:44,000 Act now and get both high quality DVD sets and a free douchebag calendar. Mark off the 8 00:00:44,000 --> 00:01:06,000 way with a douchebag looking at you. Supplies are limited so act now. 9 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:10,000 Please enjoy Brick Shit House Energy Drink responsibly. It's not readily available 10 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:17,000 anywhere, because of liability issues. 11 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:46,000 Two douchebags in a microphone, pasteurized for your protection. 12 00:01:46,000 --> 00:02:03,000 Hello, this is Two Douchebags and Microphone. I'm Mark. And I'm Rob. Alright, okay. We're 13 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:15,000 starting off this program with a, this is an odd, well I like odd, but this is an odd 14 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:20,000 article that I found. It was really in depth so I had to just go around the surface of 15 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:25,000 it, just around the edges, and just explain it like so. Okay, this is very lightly explaining 16 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:32,000 it, but it's actually a deep psychological issue that's affecting baby boomers big time. 17 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:37,000 But I'm just going to do a little rough draft of what's going on and then we can all just, 18 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:41,000 you know, you and I can talk about it, Rob, and you guys out there can form your own opinion. 19 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:49,000 So, baby boomers are blaming supermarket self-checkouts for increasing loneliness. 20 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:59,000 Self-checkouts. Okay. When I first read this I thought, what? Then after I read it, it 21 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:07,000 makes perfect sense. I see, I'm seeing some sense to this. Okay. The boomers say that 22 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:12,000 self-checkouts have taken away one of their last social interactions. That's with the 23 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:19,000 cashiers. Right. I never even thought about this, Rob. Never even crossed my mind. 24 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:24,000 Me either. Elderly boomers say that the deep friendships they made at the local grocery 25 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:30,000 stores or even big box warehouses with the cashiers are all dissolving due to self-checkout 26 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:35,000 explosion in recent years, and especially since COVID. Boomers said that numerous 27 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:39,000 employees that they used to chat with are no longer there, and it leads to increasing 28 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:44,000 loneliness and depression in some cases. Boomers felt that the interactions with the 29 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:51,000 cashiers was a gateway to a more social life with routine chores and shopping. Most stores 30 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:58,000 have a majority of automated lanes in favor of cashiers anymore. And I think, personally 31 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:01,000 this is what I think, Rob, and you tell me what you think about it. I want to hear your 32 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:07,000 opinion. Okay. I think that a store needs to come back with more cashiers and no 33 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:13,000 self-checkout lanes, and I think that that store will hit. I think that people will pay 34 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:18,000 extra just to have somebody to talk to. And I'm talking about the boomers that are having 35 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:24,000 a tough time with not having social interaction, and maybe even some extras too that just like 36 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:29,000 to hang out and talk to people. Who knows, maybe millennials and extras too. Because 37 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:34,000 I do miss some of the interactions I've had with some of the old cashiers and people like 38 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:43,000 GATT at my local store. I did miss that. I do not use self-checkout unless I absolutely 39 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:50,000 have to. I would prefer to go to an employee. That's what they are paid to do. That is their 40 00:04:50,000 --> 00:05:02,000 job. I agree 100% Rob. And also not only because it's more jobs for more people, but also they 41 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:09,000 have insight on stuff. Like let's say that you bought some oranges and the man or woman 42 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:15,000 goes, hey, we got a Tropicana orange juice back there. There's only a few jugs left, 43 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:21,000 but man it's 99 cents. What? Yeah, yeah, it's over in the corner. Oh shit, okay, hey, I'll 44 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:25,000 just put my stuff over here. I'll be right back. Okay. Not only that, but also it's a 45 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:33,000 little bit more mistake proof also. And I also like talking to the people. You find 46 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:38,000 out stuff. Hey, how's that grandkid doing? Oh man, they're doing fantastic. Thanks for 47 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:46,000 asking. They came over and we had a balloon party, a bounce house. It was great. So I 48 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:53,000 think if the store came back right now and started in with the personalized service like 49 00:05:53,000 --> 00:06:03,000 there used to be, that they would be a hit. But that's just my opinion. No, I totally 50 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:10,000 agree. I totally agree with that. Yeah. So interesting story. Something I would have 51 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:17,000 ever thought about on my own. Did you say that was a lawsuit? No, no, no, no, no, no, 52 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:22,000 no, no, no. They're just complaining about it. Yeah. Boomers are saying that self checkout 53 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:31,000 is leading to their depression and loneliness. Right, right. I could see that. Yeah, I can 54 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:39,000 too. Now I can. A lot of older people, they do themselves. Yeah. Yeah. And the only time 55 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:43,000 that they really go out and have anything to do with anybody is when they're doing business. 56 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:49,000 They're not going to go down to an arcade or something or a bar and hang out and just 57 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:55,000 talk to people. But going to do chores that they have to get done, like buying groceries 58 00:06:55,000 --> 00:07:05,000 and stuff, they will talk to people. Right, right. So, well anyhow, interesting. Would 59 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:12,000 you like to know the top 10 beer drinking countries in the world? I'd love to. Alright 60 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:19,000 Rob. I know a few. I don't know what order. Well it was surprising because some of the 61 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:23,000 countries I thought were going to be on here were not. And some of the countries I never 62 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:29,000 thought about being on here were. You'll see what I mean. Number 10, Croatia. I like some 63 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:39,000 of our list. Yes, yep. Croatia, 82.4 liters per capita. Wow. Yeah. Whoever thought of 64 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:51,000 Croatians is drinkers. Number 9, Nambia, 85.7 liters per capita. I think per capita is per 65 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:55,000 person is what they're saying. Only they write it a little bit different. I don't know how 66 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:59,000 else it could be measured. Unless it's like, I don't know, a group of people. But I think 67 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:09,000 it's per person. Yeah, it's like averaging, you know. Yeah, just an average. Yeah. Number 68 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:29,000 8, Spain, 88.5 per capita. I could see them up there. Yep. Number 7, Germany. Germany 69 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:32,000 I get, but I thought they'd been lower, don't you? Wouldn't you thought Germany would be 70 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:52,000 number one? Yeah. 90.4 milliliters per capita. Number 6, Estonia, 91.4 liters per capita. 71 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:58,000 Now, number 5, I get this because I've known Polish people my life and they put away a 72 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:05,000 lot of beer. They put away a lot of vodka too, but they put away a lot of beer. Poland, 73 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:14,000 94.1 liters per capita. So Poland's ahead of Germany even on drinking beer. Wow. Yeah. 74 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:28,000 Now, this next one really got me. Romania is number 4, 95.6 liters per capita. Nobody 75 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:38,000 thought of Romanians as drinkers. Maybe wine, right? But not beer. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe 76 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:45,000 they have really good beers over there. I don't know. Number 3, Lithuania, 96.3 liters 77 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:51,000 per capita. Lithuanians do drink. I know they do drink beer because I've known some Lithuanians 78 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:55,000 in my life too. And yes, they do drink beer, but I never in the world thought they would 79 00:09:55,000 --> 00:10:07,000 drink more than Germany. Number 2, Austria, 98.7 liters per capita. Maybe it's because 80 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:11,000 of the Austrian monks that make their beer, that beer that's so good that people can't 81 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:22,000 hardly get. Oh well, who knows? And number 1, by a mile, now remember Austria is 98.7 82 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:32,000 liters per capita. Number 1, Czech Republic, 184.1 liters per capita. The next closest is 83 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:43,000 Austria, 98.7. This is almost 100 liters per capita more. Wow. Almost over double. Yeah. 84 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:54,000 And that's Czech Republic, who are not known for drinking beer. Well, they are now. So 85 00:10:54,000 --> 00:11:00,000 just like always the yin and yang of things, now I've got the yang. We just did the yin, 86 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:09,000 now I've got the yang. Here are the countries in the database of alcohol consumption who 87 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:23,000 consume the most liquor. Not beers, but liquor. Alright. Alright. Number 10 is France, 2.7 88 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:31,000 shots per week, average per person. Now I want to know this Rob, would wine be considered 89 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:42,000 a liquor or would it be considered more like a beer? Because if wine is considered a liquor, 90 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:48,000 there's no doubt France would be on here, number 10. Maybe even I think higher, right? 91 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:55,000 Because France... You know what? I never thought about that. Are you reading that last? Hang 92 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:59,000 on, hang on. Let me go to Google. She's not going to say anything because I'm on the phone, 93 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:08,000 but let me go to Google and see what she says about this because I'm interested. Okay. Alright, 94 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:31,000 let's see here. Let's see. Is wine considered... Let's see. This is a result of different treatment 95 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:35,000 in the production of spirits, liquor, and alcohol. Liquors and spirits are distilled 96 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:39,000 alcoholic beverages. In most cases, spirits are liquor and liquors are alcohol. Wine, 97 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:44,000 beer, and cider are all examples of alcohol, but they're not spirits. Okay, so it does 98 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:56,000 not include wine. So, okay, France drinks a lot of hard alcohol then I guess. Number 99 00:12:56,000 --> 00:13:05,000 8 is Ukraine. 2.8 shots per week. Okay. Well, probably since the war has been going on, 100 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:11,000 they drink more even, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to say something about that. Okay. 101 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:21,000 Number 8, Slovakia. Yeah. Three shots per week. Not only is it a delicious Greek dish 102 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:31,000 made of chicken or pork on a skewer, but it's also a country. Next one, number 7, Bulgaria. 103 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:44,000 3.3 shots per week. Number 6, Philippines. 3.5 shots per week. The Philippines kind of 104 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:52,000 surprises me too. Number 5, this does not surprise me, Japan. Japan drinks a lot of 105 00:13:52,000 --> 00:14:05,000 whiskey. 3.6 shots per week. Number 4, Poland. They drink, man, so Poland is on the top 106 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:10,000 beer and the top hard alcohol. They're just a lot of drinkers over there, wouldn't you 107 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:21,000 say? Yeah, they are. Yeah, they are. Poland, 4 shots per week. Thailand is number 3 at 108 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:31,000 4.8 shots per week. Number 2, and this does not surprise me at all, Russia with 5 shots 109 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:37,000 per week. And Russians are known vodka, vodka-terrians is what I like to call them. They love their 110 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:49,000 vodka. So, Russia is number 2 with 5 shots a week, vodka-terrians. Number 1, South Korea 111 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:56,000 with 11.2 shots, more than double Russia's shots per week. Russia's at 5. South Korea 112 00:14:56,000 --> 00:15:09,000 is 11.2 shots per week. Who would have thought that? That's interesting. I wonder how come 113 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:14,000 South Korea drinks so much because they got North Korea on their ass all the time threatening 114 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:21,000 to blow them up, maybe? They got that little fuck over there, that little fat bastard, 115 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:25,000 Kim Jong-un, over there fucking waving his little tiny fists at them all the time and 116 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:31,000 they are over there drinking going, fuck you, you little fat bastard. I just want to grab 117 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:37,000 him and hold him down and give him an Indian sunburn on the head and spank his ass for 118 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:45,000 a couple of hours. Wouldn't that be funny? Just grab that little chubby bastard and throw 119 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:52,000 him to the ground and just rub his head raw with your knuckles and then get a friend to 120 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:58,000 come over there and fucking bare ass spank him for like a couple of hours until he is 121 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:06,000 fucking crying. Wouldn't that be fun? Yeah it would. Come here you little bastard. Bam! 122 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:14,000 Bam! Bam! All talk and go, all go up. Bam! Calling for his bunny, Dennis Rodman. Please 123 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:21,000 Dennis, come over here. Please, please, please. My little yellow ass is fucking red or whatever. 124 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:35,000 Little white ass, whatever. So anyhow, anyhow, if anyone was thinking I meant yellow racist, 125 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:40,000 no. I meant from being bruised. So don't fucking give me any shit about, oh you are calling 126 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:47,000 him a yellow man. No. I was talking about him being bruised. So get off that right now if 127 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:54,000 you were ever on it. Alright Rob, you said you have some facts you want to go into? Oh 128 00:16:54,000 --> 00:17:03,000 yeah, give me a second. I went somewhere totally different. Okay. Yeah I was checking out a 129 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:18,000 different store. I'm right here. Alright. Meanwhile I'm sorry. Here's one you'll appreciate. 130 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:30,000 Okay. You know how we were known for eating beer cans? Yeah. A man called Michael Lepito 131 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:43,000 was known as Monsur Malf... I don't even know how to pronounce this. But it translates to 132 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:54,000 Mr. Edal. Okay. For his deliberate consumption of indigestible objects. During his career 133 00:17:54,000 --> 00:18:08,000 he had eaten 18 bicycles, 15 shopping carts, seven TV sets, six chandeliers, two beds, 134 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:24,000 one pair of skis, one computer, one Cessna 150 light aircraft, one water bed, 500 meters 135 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:38,000 which equals 1600 foot of steel chain, one coffin, one Guinness award plaque, and 45 136 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:52,000 door hinges. And you thought we were bad. Oh wow. Yeah. So okay. I don't think he liked 137 00:18:52,000 --> 00:19:00,000 the taste of them. Was that like this guy's gimmick? I don't... that's what I'm guessing. 138 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:05,000 That's what I'm guessing. Like maybe he was like a circus geek type of guy. Hey come on 139 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:13,000 in and watch me to Cessna. Oh man. Wow. That would take a while. That would take a while. 140 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:18,000 Okay. Well you know what? I've never claimed to be that bad and I never will because there's 141 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:23,000 no fucking way I could do that. I could barely stomach just a little bit of the aluminum 142 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:28,000 cans just enough to get effect. But you know, I get a little bit of blood in my mouth and 143 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:35,000 swallow a little bit of it but I wouldn't swallow too much of it. You couldn't. So I 144 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:46,000 don't know how that guy does it. It looked like a pretty old picture. And this one comes 145 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:59,000 with a picture too. It shows a real nice Lamborghini with four kids climbing on it. There's here 146 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:08,000 a Chinese businessman has shared this image saying that happiness of children is the most 147 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:17,000 valuable thing in the world. A million dollar worth Lamborghini is nothing in front of that. 148 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:24,000 So he allows the kids to jump and play on this Lamborghini. Oh my God. The best part 149 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:32,000 is the kids aren't his and neither is the Lamborghini. Now we get to the bottom of it 150 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:49,000 Rob. Now we get to the bottom of it. Yeah, it's awful easy when it's not yours. Oh man. 151 00:20:49,000 --> 00:21:03,000 Hey. Hey. Let the kids have their fun. Okay. Alright. I've got something that we can go 152 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:09,000 into. Alright. And I've got a little audience participation on it too through some emails. 153 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:15,000 This is, I spoke of this before and we'll do it right after the break. So let's just 154 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:21,000 go ahead and take the break and we'll be right back with this new story. And now, Deep 155 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:32,000 Thoughts with Mark. Let's see here. A package of eight hot dogs. A package of ten hot dog 156 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:39,000 buns. I would have to buy ten packs of hot dogs and eight packs of buns to even it out. 157 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:45,000 Should I buy them at once? Should I freeze them? Or just continue to zigzag them and 158 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:58,000 hope for the best? I hate adulting. 159 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:04,000 Continuing our quest here at Two Douchebags in a Microphone to be constantly funny, once 160 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:11,000 again we offer you strange insults from an alien. 161 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:38,000 When you're all set up on your computer, with your headphones so attached. Oh shit. What's 162 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:45,000 going on? 163 00:22:45,000 --> 00:23:06,000 Alright, we have Two Douchebags in a Microphone here on Mark. And I'm Rob. Alright, as I 164 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:11,000 kind of got into a little bit but didn't a little bit ago was this right here. This new 165 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:16,000 segment that I spoke about a while back and I was asking for audience participation and 166 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:23,000 we've had a couple of suggestions and thank you through email. So this is what famous 167 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:27,000 people and Hollywood stars would look like they would be doing if they weren't famous 168 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,000 and Hollywood stars. 169 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:37,000 Alright, well I kind of waited for some people to throw in a few. I had some but then some 170 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:42,000 people threw in a few so now I think we have enough to get a good solid foundation of this 171 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:47,000 and this is something that we can do regularly. Or if you guys know someone that we left off 172 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:52,000 and you know exactly what they should be doing according to their looks send it in and it 173 00:23:52,000 --> 00:24:04,000 will be on the next batch. So, and that is send it in to DoucheB66 at Yahoo.com. DoucheB66 174 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:16,000 at Yahoo.com. D-O-U-C-H-E-B-6-6 at Yahoo.com. So, anyhow like a couple of listeners did 175 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:19,000 we will mention them here in a little bit. 176 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:29,000 Okay, Vin Diesel as sent in by Jesse. Looks like the vending machine guy. The guy that 177 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,000 comes in and fills up the vending machines. 178 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:40,000 I agree with him. Jesse thank you. Jesse in St. Louis came up with that one. We appreciate 179 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:51,000 your audience participation and we can't agree more. Leonardo DiCaprio as sent in by Velma 180 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:59,000 from Massachusetts. Velma from Massachusetts says Leonardo DiCaprio looks like a lumberjack 181 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:06,000 in northern Canada. And she specifically said his older, his self now not his younger self. 182 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:11,000 And I agree because he's got kind of a rounded face and gained a little weight. He does look 183 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:17,000 like a northern Canadian lumberjack. 184 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:26,000 This next one is from John here in Kansas City. Says that Sylvester Stallone looks like 185 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:30,000 the paint department guy at Home Depot. 186 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:38,000 Yeah, I can see that. Thank you John. Hey John, write back and let me know what part 187 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:45,000 of Kansas City you're from and how you found us and what you think of the show. We appreciate 188 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:52,000 local stuff. I'd like to know what part of town you're in and let me know if you are 189 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:56,000 going to go to the Daily Kitchen or not because I'll have her fix you up really good. So thank 190 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,000 you John. 191 00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:05,000 Next one, Hugh Jackman, landscape reformer. And that was sent in by somebody but they 192 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:12,000 didn't leave their name and I couldn't tell because like GFH832 at Yahoo or you know. 193 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,000 So whoever you are, thanks for sending that in. 194 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:20,000 This next one I love and it was sent in by Glen from Glendale and I don't think that's 195 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:25,000 a real name. It might be someone I know. Glen from Glendale says Glen Close looks like a 196 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:29,000 night manager at Rolla Mort and she does. 197 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:34,000 Yep. 198 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:43,000 Yep, I would agree. This next one I agree with a lot and this is from Chet in Bennington, 199 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:47,000 Missouri. Do you know where Bennington, Missouri is? 200 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:52,000 No, give me a second. I'll check it out. 201 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:57,000 I don't know if I've ever heard of it. Chet in Bennington, Missouri says that Jamie Lee 202 00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:02,000 Curtis looks like a PTA board member. 203 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,000 Yeah. 204 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,000 Yeah. 205 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:10,000 Yeah. 206 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:17,000 Next one, Ryan Reynolds looks like a gym instructor. I would agree he's in shape. He's 207 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:23,000 got kind of that look like he would be wearing a sweatpants and a tight shirt and going come 208 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:29,000 on now. Now we're going to climb the rope guys. Come on now. We've got to do some scrunches. 209 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:34,000 Next one, Howie Mandel looks like a stockbroker. 210 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:37,000 Yeah. Yeah. 211 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:43,000 Oh this next one is from Michelle in Des Moines, Iowa. 212 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:49,000 Mel Gibson looks like a wildlife game warden. 213 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:55,000 I think she is absolutely right on that. What do you think? 214 00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:58,000 Yeah, I can see that clearly. 215 00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:04,000 Mel Gibson nowadays does look like a wildlife game warden. 216 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:10,000 Okay, and this is from Sissy in Topeka. 217 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:15,000 Michael Douglas looks like an assisted living director. 218 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:19,000 Yeah. Yep. 219 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:26,000 Okay, we've had a lot of women, a lot of women participate in this one, which is very cool. 220 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,000 Thank you. Thank you ladies. 221 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,000 Okay. 222 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:34,000 Bennington is out by St. Louis. 223 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:39,000 Oh, so we had a St. Louis guy right in and a Bennington guy. Good. 224 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:44,000 Well, the important thing is that it's out around Erlen Heights matter. 225 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:47,000 Yeah, that's definitely a St. Louis area. Okay, cool. 226 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:50,000 Well, thank you. Thank you. 227 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:55,000 I guess we're getting more popular in St. Louis it sounds like. 228 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:59,000 Oh, I love this one. This is from Ron in Arizona. 229 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:06,000 Jim Carrey looks like the guy that walks down the road every day whistling. 230 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:13,000 Thank you, Ron in Arizona. 231 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:15,000 This next guy has a sense of humor. 232 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:18,000 And this is Ron in Missouri. 233 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:26,000 Skip Bayless looks like an unemployed fish wrapper. 234 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:30,000 Thank you, Ron in Missouri. I can't agree more. 235 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:33,000 Oh, this next one is a Jim. 236 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:37,000 And this is from Troy in Arkansas. 237 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:51,000 Vince Neal looks like the guy that carves wooden whistles on the porch of a seasonal pumpkin patch. 238 00:29:51,000 --> 00:30:00,000 You guys are coming up with...I didn't...I was going to write all this out, but I saved my stuff for later because people send in a lot of stuff and they're really good. 239 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:06,000 I only kept a couple on here on this original list of mine. 240 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:14,000 This one was mine. Sally Struthers looks like Kel producer spokeswoman. 241 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:19,000 Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I would say so. 242 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:26,000 Lady Gaga looks like director of public relations for Ann Houser Bush. 243 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:36,000 And that is from...I erased the guy's name. It starts with a T. 244 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:41,000 Looks like Tony or something. Oh, no, no, it just didn't print out. 245 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:48,000 Tony something. And I can't tell where he's at. Well, anyhow, Tony, thank you. 246 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:54,000 Trent Reznor. No, Tony something is the other one. The other one didn't print out at all. 247 00:30:54,000 --> 00:31:04,000 Tony came up with this one. Tony from somewhere. Trent Reznor stepdad. Trent Reznor looks like the stepdad on a new Paramount sitcom. 248 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:09,000 He does. Yeah. 249 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:14,000 Okay, so since it didn't print out very good, here's what he said pretty much in a nutshell. 250 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:22,000 Trent Reznor looks like a stepdad, a new stepdad character on a new Paramount sitcom series. 251 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:33,000 So I would agree with that. Jerry Jones looks like a used television and appliance salesman. 252 00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:44,000 David Muir. That is the guy from ABC News in the afternoon. Car salesman and ATV sales. 253 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:51,000 So I think all of them are very good. That's the end of this list. Like I said, I have a list that's all mine. 254 00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:58,000 But I had so many people sending in on this one. Thank you. There really wasn't any room for any more. 255 00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:06,000 I could have went on longer with my list, but I decided to go ahead and the people that sent in stuff, let them have the floor, man. 256 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:12,000 They're great listeners and I love what they did. I mean, all their stuff, I thought all their stuff was really high quality and funny. 257 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:16,000 So thank you. Yeah. Yeah. 258 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:22,000 We can use some more writers on this program. Send in some shit. Come on, guys. Yeah, definitely. 259 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:30,000 Yeah. Yeah. If you can listen to the program, you know, we're dying for material, right? Yeah, definitely. 260 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:41,000 Yep. Anyhow. Are you ready for another Old West hygiene? Yes, I am. Rob, the floor is yours. 261 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:50,000 This this time oral hygiene consisted of fliers and whiskey. Yes. 262 00:32:50,000 --> 00:33:03,000 The lack of the lack of the simple dental care resources meant oral hygiene took a backseat to survival and a pristine smile was a rare gem. 263 00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:11,000 Toothbrushes were a luxury and brushing was an afterthought for many, but it gets worse. 264 00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:21,000 OK. Based with dental issues like cavities and root canals, the remedies were far from sophisticated. 265 00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:37,000 Brace yourself as the favorite method was simply barbers or even blacksmiths acting as makeshift dentists and extracting the bending tooth with pliers. 266 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:40,000 Numbing the pain was a priority. 267 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:48,000 The only solace came in the form of a stiff gulp of whiskey. 268 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:58,000 Oh, yeah. Now I knew this to be true because it's in the history books that that's how they used to solve pain issues with teeth and all that. 269 00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:05,000 The thing I want to know is this right here. OK. I just had a bout with a tooth infection. 270 00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:09,000 There was a root canal that went bad and it gave me hell for a couple of weeks. 271 00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:20,000 And finally, because I went to my general doctor and not that idiot fill in dentist that I went to that gave me the wrong type of antibiotics and would not give me hydrocodone for pain, 272 00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:34,000 because my general doctor is a very good doctor and she's awesome, she gave me a different set of antibiotics that's working now and some hydrocodone to knock that shit down because I can sleep now. 273 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:47,000 So anyhow, before they do a root canal or have to get into there or pull a tooth or anything, they have to knock the infection down because the infection can go all throughout your body when they tear out a tooth. 274 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:54,000 So I want to know how they got away with doing that without having an infection go all over people's bodies. 275 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:59,000 Yeah. 276 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:06,000 Yeah. I mean, there's like plenty of cases where they didn't get the infection all the way and it traveled down their throat. 277 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:16,000 You know, so was it like a 50-50 proposition at that point when they tore out your tooth, whether you're going to get infection in your body or not? 278 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:25,000 Or did they have some primitive form of penicillin like mold or something? 279 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,000 I don't have a clue. 280 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:29,000 You don't have a clue? 281 00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:39,000 You know what, that's for another podcast, but that's something that I wondered, even reading the old history books that said that that was a common practice. 282 00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:49,000 I would like to know how they got rid of the infection before they did this or did they just do it and hope for the best? 283 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:54,000 I know most of the best. They go ahead and do it and hope for the best. 284 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:58,000 I would bet you they did too because if they're out on the plains, where are they going to get penicillin anyhow? 285 00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:04,000 Are they going to find some mold on something and hope that that was the right type and give it to you? 286 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:10,000 And I don't see someone waiting a week without some sort of painkiller anyhow, right? 287 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:11,000 Right. 288 00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:21,000 Here, eat this moldy bread for a week and then get back to me. They're going to be like, fuck no, pull this thing out right now and give me that whiskey ahead of time. 289 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:27,000 Yeah, because a toothache is a special brand of fucking pain. 290 00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:29,000 Agreed? 291 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:31,000 Yes, it is. 292 00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:37,000 It is a special brand of pain. It is up there with burns. It is probably the same as burns. 293 00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:44,000 You ever get a bad burn? Toothache is just as bad. If not, maybe even a little bit worse. It's bad shit. 294 00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:55,000 So, anyhow, we'll be right back. I've got a story here. It's about a 20-year-old man that died of, and I've heard of this before, but I didn't think it was real. 295 00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:58,000 As pleasant as 50 grit sandpaper to your inner thighs. 296 00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:01,000 Be right back. 297 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:12,000 Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity. 298 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:17,000 More as useful as a cannon with balls. 299 00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:22,000 Well, guess they finally figured out the microphone. Idiots. 300 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:27,000 Two douchebags and a microphone. The audio equivalent to the meat sweats. 301 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,000 What a mark. 302 00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,000 And I'm wrong. 303 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:49,000 Okay. Well, like we said before we left you for a break, is fried rice syndrome. 304 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:53,000 I don't know if you've heard of it or not like I have, but I thought it was... 305 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:56,000 I've heard of it. I don't know much about it. 306 00:37:56,000 --> 00:38:09,000 Okay. Me too, Rob. I'm the same way. I've heard of it, but I never really put that much thought into it. I thought maybe it was in reference to something else. 307 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:13,000 But you know, I didn't think it was actually fried rice syndrome. 308 00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:18,000 And the guy got it not after eating fried rice, but after eating leftover pasta. 309 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:25,000 So after five days of pasta sitting out on the counter at room temperature, he heated some up and he ate it. 310 00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:30,000 Number one, would you eat pasta that sat out on the counter for five days? 311 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:31,000 No. 312 00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:36,000 Me neither. Everyone knows that that shit needs to be refrigerated. 313 00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:42,000 Look, I'm not making fun of the guy being dead, but I think he could have used a little bit more common sense in this area. 314 00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:46,000 But he didn't. So anyhow, he heated some up and he ate it. 315 00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:52,000 He noted the odd taste to the food, but figured it was just due to the new tomato sauce he was using. 316 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:59,000 He went out to play some sports, but after 30 minutes he had to come home due to nausea, abdominal pain, and a headache. 317 00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:04,000 Diarrhea and vomiting followed, so he drank water and tried to sleep it off. 318 00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:09,000 The next day, after he didn't get out of bed for his classes, his parents checked in on him. 319 00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:12,000 Unfortunately, he had already died. 320 00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:19,000 Investigators who examined the body determined that he passed away at 4 a.m., 10 hours after eating the spaghetti. 321 00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:26,000 His autopsy showed his liver had shut down and his death was caused by liver necrosis. 322 00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:34,000 Samples of the pasta and tomato sauce he ate went to the National Reference Laboratory for Foodborne Outbreaks, 323 00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:40,000 where they discovered significant amounts of bacteria called Bacchus servus. 324 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:47,000 Bacchus servus, in most cases, or the bacteria, just causes diarrhea and vomiting. 325 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:52,000 But there are extreme cases where it affects the liver and leads to organ failure. 326 00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:58,000 The bacteria is best known for causing a type of foodborne poisoning called Fried Rice Syndrome. 327 00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:08,000 Since rice is sometimes cooked and left to cool at room temperature for a few hours during that time, the bacteria can contaminate it and grow. 328 00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:17,000 Now, this bacteria is especially dangerous because it produces a toxin in the rice 329 00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:26,000 that other starchy foods that are heat resistant may not die when the food that it infects is cooked. 330 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:37,000 So this bacteria called B. serius is not very common, 331 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:44,000 but previously an entire family got sick from it after eating 8-day old pasta salad at a picnic. 332 00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:56,000 To prevent the bacteria from making you ill, just be sure that any starchy food you consume hasn't been kept at room temperature for an extended period of time. 333 00:40:56,000 --> 00:41:04,000 When in doubt, you can try to cook it at a high temperature and attempt to kill off any bacteria, but your best bet is to just not eat it. 334 00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:11,000 Anyone who has eaten leftovers knows that sometimes they taste even better than the original meal they came from. 335 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:20,000 In addition, leftovers are an easy meal to make. You can just heat them up and eat them. However, it turns out that can also be very dangerous. 336 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:27,000 And if you need more information, you can go to the Journal of Clinical Microbiology 337 00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:35,000 and you can also sample some YouTube videos on this too that can explain exactly what to look for in Fried Rice Syndrome 338 00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:43,000 or any one of these bacteria that is specifically mentioned in this. So, sounds kind of serious doesn't it? 339 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,000 Yes it does. 340 00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:49,000 Yeah, so anyhow, there you go. 341 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:53,000 You got anything Rob or you want me to go into the next story here? 342 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:56,000 Oh well, I got a little announcement. 343 00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,000 Sure. 344 00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:03,000 You know how I'm going to see 38 Special on October 6th? 345 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:04,000 Yes I do. 346 00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:09,000 When I ran across, they updated the concert. 347 00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:11,000 Okay. 348 00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:21,000 And earlier today I found who was opening and now I can't find that, but they added another opener. 349 00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,000 Really? 350 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:29,000 Which honestly, I think I'd rather go see the new opener than 38 Special. 351 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:31,000 Really? 352 00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:35,000 They have the Marshall Tucker band opening. 353 00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:43,000 Oh, damn it. And I was going to go to that, but it turns out I have family coming into town so I cannot. 354 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:47,000 Right, right. That's going to be a good concert. I'll tell you all about it. 355 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:52,000 Yeah, please do. Send me a little video too. I love Marshall Tucker. Wow. 356 00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,000 Oh yeah. 357 00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:58,000 That's pretty cool that they just added them like that. 358 00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:07,000 Yeah, yeah they did. Like I said, I didn't catch the other guy's name, but it wasn't somebody that I've heard of. 359 00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:15,000 Excuse me there. Huh. Okay, wow. Pretty cool. 360 00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:18,000 I've got a little story here. 361 00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:27,000 A Vermont armed robbery suspect who police say eluded capture in the past week in a vehicle on a stolen bike, on foot, or in a stolen sailboat 362 00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:32,000 was arrested Thursday after he was spotted in a kayak on a river, authorities said. 363 00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:44,000 Eric Edson, 52, was wanted on accusations of robbery of a store in Burlington on August 24 impeding and assaulting, impeding and insulting two police officers 364 00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:48,000 and the theft of a sailboat and vehicles, police said. 365 00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:57,000 Because of the unusualness of Mr. Edson's various modes of flight from cars to bikes to paddle boards to sailboats to tractors, 366 00:43:57,000 --> 00:44:06,000 it's easy to lose sight of the fact that Mr. Edson is a dangerous person, Burlington police said, John Moran said on Wednesday. 367 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:17,000 On August 30th, Burlington police responded to a man passed out in a running vehicle that matched the description of the one used in a robbery a week before, they said. 368 00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:24,000 When officers roused him, he fled at a high rate of speed, assaulting both officers with the vehicle, police said. 369 00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:27,000 So he must have taken swipes at him, it sounds like, right? 370 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,000 Yeah. 371 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:38,000 That evening he fled police on foot and then on a stolen bicycle before stealing a sailboat at Lake Champlain, 372 00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:49,000 police said Edson was interrupted by the Coast Guard but after the sailboat ran around at the base of the lakeside cliffs, he fled, authorities said. 373 00:44:49,000 --> 00:45:00,000 Vermont State Police received a tip Thursday that he was spotted in a kayak on the Laminelle River in Georgia, Vermont, about 21 miles away from Burlington. 374 00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:10,000 Edson landed the kayak, ran away and then jumped into the river and swam to the southern shore where he was arrested by troopers and game wardens, police said. 375 00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:16,000 Edson was taken to the hospital for evaluation of his injuries from being on the run, state police said. 376 00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:18,000 He is expected to be arraigned Friday. 377 00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:24,000 An email was sent to police seeking to find out if Edson is being represented by an attorney. 378 00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:30,000 You talk about a guy that wanted to get away. 379 00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,000 Yeah. 380 00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:38,000 I mean, if you were a judge, what would you tell that guy? 381 00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:49,000 You're an asshole but I admire your diligence in running away but you're still an asshole and you're still going to get charged? 382 00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:54,000 Right, right. That's about all you can say. 383 00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:58,000 Yeah, interesting. 384 00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:03,000 So, wow. 385 00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:08,000 Let's see. Oh, and here's a story that I do not like. 386 00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:18,000 USA Today voted the Kansas City Chiefs fans 31st in the nation out of 32 teams. 387 00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:20,000 Wow. 388 00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:23,000 That's what I'd like to know. 389 00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:28,000 We sold out Arrowhead every year even when they weren't that good. 390 00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:36,000 We've never had a blackout in our city because Arrowhead was always full. 391 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:41,000 We buy a lot of merchandise. We're diehard fans. 392 00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:47,000 We are the epitome of what football wants to be in America. 393 00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:53,000 USA Today, no wonder you guys are going out of business like the rest of the newspaper. 394 00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:57,000 You guys are a bunch of bias fucks from the coast. 395 00:46:57,000 --> 00:47:00,000 That's what it is. Let's be honest about this. 396 00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:07,000 You don't like the fact that the Chiefs are number one and have been number one and will probably be number one for the foreseeable future. 397 00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:11,000 You loved it when your Boston bitches did good, didn't you? 398 00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:17,000 And you could not shut your mouth about Mr. Tom Brady until he left and went to Tampa, right? 399 00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:24,000 Well, fuck you. We got the guy now. His name is Patrick Mahomes. He's a new sheriff in town. He's fucking ruling everything. 400 00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:32,000 So suck a collective Kansas City dick, Mr. Asshole from USA Today, because you are officially full of shit. 401 00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:41,000 And I think that you having any type of journalistic credibility is not correct. 402 00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:48,000 Whenever you print a story as stupid and as biased as what you just did. 403 00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:53,000 So suck my dick, suck Rob's dick, and suck everybody's dick in Kansas City. 404 00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:57,000 And even if they don't have a dick, I wish they'd grow one so you can fucking suck it. 405 00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:59,000 You're a fucking idiot. 406 00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:06,000 And let me see what your name is. Let me see if I can come up with your name so I can tell you that you can suck all our dicks personally. 407 00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:10,000 In my opinion, you're a biased piece of shit. 408 00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:15,000 So let's see. 409 00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:18,000 Who wrote... 410 00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,000 I'm just gonna let you have that one. 411 00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:36,000 USA Today article on NFL fans in Kansas City. 412 00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:46,000 Hmm. 413 00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:51,000 He said Cleveland Browns fans are the best. I really don't think so. 414 00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:56,000 They are fans, they're good fans, but they're not the best. 415 00:48:56,000 --> 00:49:02,000 Hmm. 416 00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:08,000 You know what, I will find your name and I will publicize how you can suck all our dicks because you're a fucking idiot. 417 00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:12,000 So, anyhow, you know what, that's okay. 418 00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:17,000 It doesn't matter because you know what, we're gonna keep dominating and we're gonna keep dominating your team. 419 00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:21,000 And I want you to think about that every time we kick your team's ass. 420 00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:25,000 And every time you're not in the playoffs, and we are, and every time you're not in the Super Bowl, and we are. 421 00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:28,000 I want you to think about that. 422 00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:36,000 I want you to fucking read it, I want you to eat it up, and I want you specifically to go to hell. 423 00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:38,000 So, anyhow. 424 00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:43,000 Alright, Rob, do you have anything? 425 00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:46,000 Oh, not the second, I've come up with something. 426 00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:51,000 Alright, you wanna come up with something, that's cool. If not, I'll find something here. 427 00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:54,000 I got all my shit all mixed up. 428 00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:59,000 And it's gonna take a minute to figure it out, that's why I asked you if you had anything. 429 00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:02,000 Yeah. 430 00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:06,000 There's a lot about... 431 00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:08,000 Alright, here we go. 432 00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:11,000 There's one about Adam Bat-Man Jones. 433 00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:15,000 Oh, go ahead. 434 00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:21,000 And, here we go. 435 00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:24,000 You wanna hear some stupid dad jokes? 436 00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:52,000 Oh, go ahead. 437 00:50:54,000 --> 00:51:03,000 ...just prior to takeoff of an outbound flight, according to CVG spokesperson, Wendy Kershner. 438 00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:11,000 Airport police received a report of an unruly passenger at around 6 a.m. local time. 439 00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:20,000 Jones was released from jail Monday morning, and spoke to local Cincinnati reporters outside the facility, 440 00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:30,000 and claimed the situation stemmed from requesting to move his seat on the plane due to an issue with the phone charger, 441 00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:38,000 and vehemently denied he was intoxicated. 442 00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:39,000 Okay. 443 00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:51,000 Do I look intoxicated to you? I've only been locked up two hours, Jones said when asked about his charges. 444 00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:53,000 Wow. 445 00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:56,000 Yeah, he's saying he's not been drinking. 446 00:51:56,000 --> 00:52:02,000 He was on his way to the Buffalo, the Buffalo Bill New York Jets game. 447 00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:03,000 He's lucky he missed that. 448 00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:05,000 He's lucky he missed that abortion. 449 00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:09,000 Well, I don't know, he might have been written for the Jets. 450 00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:11,000 If he's written for the Jets, he's a happy man. 451 00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:14,000 So, if he's written for the Bills, he's not so happy. 452 00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:24,000 But, you know, while he's in Buffalo, he could take advantage of the Josh Allen pizza interception special. 453 00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:25,000 Yeah, Josh Allen's pizza. 454 00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:32,000 Yeah, he could go in there and grab a pizza midair and have it for free. 455 00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:35,000 Especially if Josh Allen's throwing it, right? 456 00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:36,000 Yeah, definitely. 457 00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:37,000 Yeah. 458 00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:40,000 So, Adam Pac-Man Jones, we believe you, you're not fucked up. 459 00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:46,000 And we also think that you need to go get a free pizza from Josh Allen's Pizzeria. 460 00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:50,000 Because when he throws it up in the air, we know anybody can grab it. 461 00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:53,000 So, you might as well go grab it, right? 462 00:52:53,000 --> 00:52:54,000 Yep. 463 00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:55,000 I think that's great. 464 00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:58,000 I think that is a great set of advice right there. 465 00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:05,000 And how about if we finish off this podcast with some stupid dad jokes? 466 00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:06,000 Sounds great to me. 467 00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:07,000 Alright. 468 00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:12,000 Hey, what happens when a snowman throws a tantrum? 469 00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:14,000 I don't know. 470 00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:16,000 He has a meltdown. 471 00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:19,000 Damn it. 472 00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:24,000 Hey, what goes up and down but doesn't move? 473 00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:26,000 I don't know. 474 00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:29,000 What goes up and down but doesn't move? 475 00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:30,000 Stairs. 476 00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:32,000 Good point. 477 00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:38,000 Hey, why did the cookie go to the hospital? 478 00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:40,000 I don't know. 479 00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:44,000 Because he felt crummy. 480 00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:46,000 Oh, come on. 481 00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:52,000 Okay. 482 00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:58,000 I've heard this one many times and actually I did an Island of Horrible Jokes on it. 483 00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:02,000 What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? 484 00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:03,000 I don't know. 485 00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:05,000 Supplies? 486 00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:09,000 Yeah, you did. 487 00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:12,000 Yep. 488 00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:17,000 What did you get when you cross a fish with an elephant? 489 00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:20,000 I don't know. 490 00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:24,000 Swimming trunks? 491 00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:30,000 Oh, come on. 492 00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:32,000 Okay. 493 00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:33,000 Next. 494 00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:38,000 What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he was fired? 495 00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:43,000 Oh my god. 496 00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:44,000 I don't know. 497 00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:49,000 Oh, snap. 498 00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:52,000 Next one. 499 00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:57,000 Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? 500 00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:59,000 I don't know. 501 00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:04,000 Because then it would be a foot. 502 00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:05,000 Good point. 503 00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:09,000 Yeah. 504 00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:13,000 Why did the belt go to jail? 505 00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:14,000 I don't know. 506 00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:22,000 Because it held up a pair of pants. 507 00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:23,000 Okay. 508 00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:29,000 Where did the general put his armies? 509 00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:32,000 I'm afraid to ask. 510 00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:35,000 In his sleveys. 511 00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:37,000 Oh, man. 512 00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:41,000 And last but not least. 513 00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:42,000 What? 514 00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:48,000 Do you call a magician that loses his magic? 515 00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:49,000 I don't know. 516 00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:55,000 Ian? 517 00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:59,000 All right. 518 00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:04,000 They were horrible, but I loved them. 519 00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:06,000 Let's see. 520 00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:07,000 What else here? 521 00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:11,000 Have I got anything else or are we just going to go? 522 00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:14,000 Here's a neat little tidbit. 523 00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:20,000 61% of Americans, we'll just go ahead and close this podcast out with these facts. 524 00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:27,000 61% of Americans are more afraid of running out of money than dying. 525 00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:38,000 36% of millionaires say it will take a miracle to retire amid rising costs and a shaky market. 526 00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:46,000 The next and last one, the US dollar has lost 98% of its purchasing power since 1971. 527 00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:47,000 That. 528 00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:49,000 I can see that. 529 00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:50,000 I can see that. 530 00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:53,000 When you print it out of thin air. 531 00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:54,000 Yeah. 532 00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:55,000 Yeah. 533 00:56:55,000 --> 00:56:56,000 You get what you get. 534 00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:58,000 No value. 535 00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:07,000 And that's what happens with inflation and everything and your gross domestic product is way out of whack and you're not really sending anything out to anyone else. 536 00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:10,000 And a lot of issues. 537 00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:13,000 So anyhow, everybody, thanks for listening. 538 00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:15,000 Have a good night. 539 00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:17,000 Good night. 540 00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:33,000 Bye. 541 00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:35,000 Hey, where'd everybody go? 542 00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:38,000 Where the douchebags. 543 00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:39,000 Oh my God. 544 00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:41,000 Someone took a dump in the corner. 545 00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:43,000 Oh, geez. 546 00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:44,000 Glad they're gone. 547 00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:47,000 Let's just hope they don't come back. 548 00:57:47,000 --> 00:58:06,000 Man, that smells.