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Live in the historic River Market District in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the

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banks of the beautiful Crystal Blue Walkers of the Missouri River, it is Two Douchebags

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and Microphone Podcast.

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Invisible ass paddlings, new douche flavors and horrible pranks?

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The fuck is wrong with these guys?

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And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.

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So let me see.

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Let's say I was offended by people being offended.

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Then would people being offended all the time have to not be offended around me because

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I was offended by them being offended?

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Hmm.

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I may never know.

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Hey look, I think we found land.

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Oh my god, I think we're safe.

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Oh no!

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It's the island of horrible jokes.

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I'm gonna kill you!

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Alright!

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What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

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Supplies?

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Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe.

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Hi everybody, it's Two Douchebags and Microphone.

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I'm Mark.

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And I'm Rob.

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Alright.

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Well, we have some hairy asshole Olympics coming up here.

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So what do you think?

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Oh my god, that would be fun.

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Should we go ahead and get right into them or do you want to do a couple of stories before that?

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Hey, why don't you do a story or two and let me dive into these lists?

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Okay.

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Alright.

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So I can start getting lined up here?

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Alright.

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Thank you, brother.

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In Atlanta, a Delta pilot allegedly had to make an emergency landing back to the origin

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city where passengers' loose bowels resulted in diarrhea all the way through the plane.

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A supposed snippet of the pilot's call was shared on social media.

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Delta Flight 194 was on its way from Atlanta to Barcelona Friday evening.

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The group left Hartsfield Jackson Atlanta International Airport just before 8.30 p.m.

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FlightAware shows that typically 8-hour to 9-hour flight ended 6 hours early.

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They were back on the ground by 10.40 p.m.

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It's just a biohazard issue the pilot could be heard saying over the radio in the snippet.

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We've had a passenger had diarrhea all throughout the airplane and they want us to come back to Atlanta.

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Delta did not confirm the diarrhea detail but issued the following statement to Fox 5.

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Delta Flight 194 from Atlanta to Barcelona returned to Atlanta following an onboard medical issue.

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Our teams worked as quickly and safely as possible to get our customers to the final destination.

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We sincerely apologize to our customers for the delay and inconvenience of their travel plans.

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So, that would suck.

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Imagine being on a plane where someone has diarrhea so bad it's explosive and it goes

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all up and down the plane and it was so bad that it was a biohazard issue to where they had to turn the plane around

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and go back to Atlanta two hours into the flight.

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Damn!

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Yeah, would that not be horrible?

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Yeah, that would be.

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Yeah.

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Geez.

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Yep, so anyhow I'm glad I went on that plane.

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Yeah.

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Well, this next story, Gen Z is not really wanting to go to college now.

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They're kind of afraid to it sounds like.

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Consumed with pandemic-era grief, Gen Z's apathy towards attending college has grown,

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even influenced the students as young as middle schoolers.

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The new White Post report found two in five Gen Z students agreed with a statement,

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the pandemic has made me less interested in pursuing higher education.

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Middle school students generally 11 to 13 years old not only contribute to the trend,

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but also lead the view that work experience is more valuable.

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The attitude has translated into an 8% decline in college enrollment from 2019 to 2022,

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showing how attending college is no longer a given for Gen Z.

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Seeing the way many millennials are saddled with insurmountable debt from the higher education system

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and knowing their online lives and other paths are possible,

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these high school and even middle school students are reconsidering if they even need college

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to be successful, White Post wrote in their report.

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Gen Z advocates Bill Familia, co-founder and chief officer of SoundMind,

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Bella Santos, community leadership board president of the Conversationalist,

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and Ian Gates, policy and program quality fellow of the Opportunity Project Tulsa,

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talked about key takeaways from the report.

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And so, I mean who can blame them?

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I know so many people that are just fucking strapped with all this college debt

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and they have no way of paying it because the fill that they were going to either doesn't pay as well as they thought,

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or it isn't there anymore, it dried up, or it's outdated before they even got done with their classes.

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So, I get it.

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Eh.

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Yep.

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Well, I got another little story here.

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Alright. Alright.

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Alright, are you ready for the Asshole Olympics?

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Because I'm about ready for a hairy asshole Olympics.

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You know what Rob, let's just...

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No, no, go ahead with your story, I'm doing the finals.

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Okay, okay, that's cool.

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We're about to have some fun buddy, and I'm about to wipe your ass out.

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Oh, I know, I know, you've been coming on strong with the hairy asshole Olympics.

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I'm going to go back to the drawing board because this next round that I'm in, you're not doing it again.

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I'm going to wipe your ass.

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I know, I got some others lined up for that one too.

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Alright, I'm ready for number three.

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I'm taking a chainsaw.

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Starting number two and I'm ready for number three.

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I'm going to take a chainsaw to your asshole buddy.

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It's done. It's done.

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Okay.

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Let's do it.

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Okay.

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Do you want me to tell my story first or do you want to just go ahead?

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Yeah, no, go ahead, go ahead and do your story.

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Okay.

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Go ahead and do your story.

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Coast Guard...

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Okay, Coast Guard arrests a man trying to run a giant hamster wheel across the Atlantic.

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No kidding, he has this very elaborate looking hamster wheel looking thing.

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With a bunch of inflatables in the middle.

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Oh my God, everybody.

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Okay, I'm going to grab a minute.

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Go ahead, what were you going to say?

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No, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

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Okay.

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Try as he might, Reza Bacheli can't reach his destination without running afoul of the US Coast Guard.

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The key problem is his vessel.

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A giant floating hamster wheel made of buoys and wire self-propelled by Baluchi running inside.

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Baluchi, who lives in Florida after being granted asylum from Iran,

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was taken in by Coast Guard last week aboard his vessel following several days of back and forth with the authorities.

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According to a criminal complaint filed in the US District Court in South Florida,

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the Coast Guard cutter, the lion, came across Baluchi as his, I think it's Baluchi,

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but his homemade vessel about 70 nautical miles east of Tybee Island, Georgia on August 26th

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as the Coast Guard was preparing for Hurricane Franklin.

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He told officers his destination was London, England, more than 4,000 miles away.

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Baluchi, or whatever his name is, was asked for the vehicle's registration.

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He said it was registered in Florida, but that he couldn't find the registration, according to the complaint.

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The Coast Guard assessed Baluchi's vessel, known as a hydro pod,

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and determined he was conducting a manifestly unsafe voyage,

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according to Coast Guard Special Agent Michael Perez in the complaint, which does not identify Baluchi's starting point.

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The officers then approached Baluchi in a small boat and instructed him to join them.

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They were ending his voyage due to it being unsafe.

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Baluchi replied that he had a 12-inch knife that would attempt to kill himself,

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but the officers attempted to remove him from his vessel, according to the complaint.

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The officers returned to the cutter and stayed nearby.

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When the officers tried again over the next day or so to get Baluchi to join them in the small boat,

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Baluchi displayed two knives and threatened to hurt himself if the officers boarded the vessel.

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Baluchi also threatened to blow himself up along with the vessel.

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The officers saw him holding wires in his hand and believed him, the complaint says.

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The following day, a second Coast Guard cutter named Campbell arrived

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and sent a small boat to Baluchi to deliver food, water, and word that the hurricane was expected,

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Baluchi refused again to leave his vessel and told the officers that the bomb wasn't real.

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On August 29, the Campbell once more set a small boat

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and this time was able to safely remove Baluchi from his floating hamster wheel.

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Baluchi was brought ashore to Miami Beach last Friday where he was released on a $250,000 bond.

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This is not his first try. He tried this a few times before in his homeland and was unsuccessful.

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Well then that's cheap.

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Yeah.

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He tried before, that's cheap.

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So anyhow, Baluchi could not get it done and they probably saved his life

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given that a hurricane was coming right for him.

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So, anyhow, we will be right back with the Harry Asshole Olympics. Stay tuned.

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Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

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It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.

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Every sock you wear is slightly rotated. Just enough for it to be uncomfortable.

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Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

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It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.

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Lay, you press A too hastily and be forced to speak with a nurse at the Pokemon Center all over again.

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Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.

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Lay, you not be able to gain an erection without thinking about Peter Dinklage.

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Alright, two dudes bags and microphone on Mark.

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And I'm Rob.

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Alright, as promised before.

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The Harry Asshole Olympics part two.

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Oh my god, this is going to be a battle.

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Yes it is.

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And remember, I just got done threatening Rob with my next bout of asshole.

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Asshole ease.

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So, this is going to be quite a battle.

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Can you stop talking to me?

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Rob's over there. He's like in the ring right now.

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I still have my wild card man.

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He's over there with his championship belt on.

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He's got his nice new boots and his boxers and he's fucking skipping around the ring and jumping rope.

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And I'm over there in the corner fucking sticking my fist, waving my fist at him saying I'm going to win.

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I'm coming after you Rob.

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So.

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I mean come on man. I got people like Eugene Levy on my list.

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You got Betty from the Archies.

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Betty from the Archies is a great choice.

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And so is Betty from the Flintstones.

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You're right.

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Yes.

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I stand by both those picks.

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No, you have a lot of good ones.

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You do.

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Yeah, you do too.

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I'm not going to take that from you.

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Okay.

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But you have better ones but that's going to change.

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You wait.

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Hey, you're the best guy.

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I am throwing the gauntlet down and I'm here by saying I'm picking it up and I am going to scorch Rob on this next round after this.

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Let's see about that.

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Rob, go ahead with your number one.

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I have a good imagination my friend.

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I know you do.

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Which is excellent for this show.

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Okay.

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Well, let's get this battle out of the way.

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All right, Rob, let's do it.

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You're to cartoon Betty.

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Betty from the Archies.

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Betty from the Flintstones.

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Yep.

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Who's it going to be?

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Betty from the Flintstones.

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Cavewoman.

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Yeah, yeah.

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Cave Dweller all the way.

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Cave Dweller wins.

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All right.

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All right.

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Number two.

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I'm trying to find a good one for that one.

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Okay.

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Let's see here.

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Oh, shit.

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Well, that was two off your list so let's take two off mine.

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All right.

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Let's do it.

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Let's go.

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Dustin Hoffman, Robin Williams.

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Okay.

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There's different ways we can look at this.

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Dustin Hoffman is old.

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He probably doesn't keep up with his hygiene.

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Robin Williams had a very hairy chest and probably back hair and leg hair and probably asshole hair.

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No, he did have hairy back.

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He had hairy everything.

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So.

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I know that.

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Okay.

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I'm going to go ahead and go with Robin Williams because of the hairiness.

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My vote.

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Robin Williams.

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No, Robin Williams is a very hairy individual.

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He really was.

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Yes.

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Yep.

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So Robin Williams wins.

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All right.

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Oh, shit.

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Now I got to jump back and forth here.

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So far we're unanimous.

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All righty.

249
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:38,000
Dude, we had a pretty good band session going until you threw one in and it fucked everything up.

250
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,000
Which one did I throw in to fuck it up?

251
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,000
New Kids on the Block.

252
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,000
Sorry.

253
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,000
It had to be done.

254
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,000
No, no, no.

255
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,000
Hey, hey.

256
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,000
It was them or Hanson.

257
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,000
It was them or.

258
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:54,000
New Kids on the Block or Up on the Block right now.

259
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,000
Okay.

260
00:16:55,000 --> 00:17:00,000
It could have been Hanson, but I refrained.

261
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,000
Yeah.

262
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,000
That's right.

263
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,000
I would have let Hanson make it through.

264
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,000
I know.

265
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,000
I refrained.

266
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,000
I would have voted against him.

267
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,000
New.

268
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,000
New.

269
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,000
I see him in concert, dude.

270
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,000
Oh, you did?

271
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,000
Are you okay?

272
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:16,000
Yeah, well, they were with America up in St. Joe.

273
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,000
Oh, okay.

274
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,000
Yeah.

275
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,000
That's forgiven.

276
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,000
They were young.

277
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,000
They were young.

278
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,000
Okay.

279
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,000
All right.

280
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,000
That's forgiven.

281
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,000
Anyway.

282
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,000
All right.

283
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,000
Next one.

284
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,000
Okay.

285
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,000
New Kids on the Block.

286
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,000
Now, that's it.

287
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:37,000
I'm knocking these dudes out now.

288
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,000
Okay.

289
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:41,000
Twisted Sister.

290
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:44,000
Twisted Sister.

291
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:47,000
All the way.

292
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,000
Yep.

293
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,000
Bye-bye.

294
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,000
Bye, New Kids.

295
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,000
Sorry.

296
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,000
Go fuck off.

297
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,000
Good luck on your next ventures.

298
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,000
Yeah.

299
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,000
Yep.

300
00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:02,000
You don't get this gig, New Kids, even though you're looking for one.

301
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,000
All righty.

302
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,000
Next one.

303
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,000
Let's see here.

304
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:08,000
Where should my dog get shit?

305
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:11,000
That's a good one to choose from, man.

306
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,000
Yeah, we've got some good ones out there.

307
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,000
Oh, dude.

308
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:18,000
That one right there could be a finale.

309
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,000
Okay.

310
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,000
Just save it, then.

311
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,000
Oh, no.

312
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,000
They're...

313
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,000
Well, we'll figure that.

314
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,000
Okay.

315
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,000
Okay.

316
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,000
Let's go.

317
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:35,000
Seth Nick Farland.

318
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,000
Okay.

319
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,000
Tim Allen.

320
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,000
Couple comedians.

321
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,000
Yep.

322
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:44,000
I'm going to go with Tim Allen because he went to prison.

323
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,000
Yeah.

324
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:53,000
He had to keep it clean there for a while while he was in prison, but when he got out,

325
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,000
he felt that freeze.

326
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:58,720
Well, I think he grew it in prison as protection.

327
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,000
I think he tied his asshole up in knots.

328
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,000
That could be true.

329
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,000
That could be true.

330
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:10,480
I think he tied his asshole up here up in knots to keep from any type of penetration

331
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:14,400
while he was unaware.

332
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:15,400
Like sleeping.

333
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:19,000
That's what it could be.

334
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,800
All right.

335
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:24,200
Tim Allen it is.

336
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,360
All righty.

337
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:31,800
Once again, we look to Rob for the next two Battle Royales.

338
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:32,800
Okay.

339
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,800
Let's go.

340
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:39,440
James Franco.

341
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:43,920
Jason Bateman.

342
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:45,800
I'm going to go with Franco.

343
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:51,000
Yeah, I think I got to go Franco too.

344
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,000
He's a little hairier.

345
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,000
Yeah.

346
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,000
He looks like he's a little hairier.

347
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:59,120
Although I think Jason Bateman is cool enough to grow his asshole hair out too.

348
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:00,120
I think that-

349
00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:01,120
Oh yeah.

350
00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:02,120
Yeah.

351
00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:03,120
He's got that attitude to do it.

352
00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:04,120
Yeah.

353
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:06,400
But I just think that Franco has more asshole hair abundance.

354
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:07,680
Yeah.

355
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:10,240
I did too.

356
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:15,240
So, okay.

357
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:18,240
Let's see here.

358
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:20,640
Dude, we got some doozies here.

359
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:22,000
I'm trying to put them together.

360
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:25,280
I'm pretty proud of our list, both our lists, especially yours.

361
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:26,280
Oh man.

362
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:27,280
No, no.

363
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:33,320
Actually, I'm sitting here looking at your list and my list trying to bounce them off

364
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:34,320
each other.

365
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,320
Uh-huh.

366
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:38,320
It's pretty hard, man.

367
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,320
Okay.

368
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:49,240
Well, I'm still trying to figure out who I'm going to pin in up against off your list.

369
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:50,240
What?

370
00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:51,240
Is this your wild card?

371
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:52,240
No, no, no, no, no, no.

372
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:53,240
There's somebody on my list.

373
00:20:53,240 --> 00:21:04,240
I just- I may have pinned these two up and that could be a final and I don't want that.

374
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:05,240
Yeah, yeah.

375
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:06,240
We don't want to-

376
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:07,240
Okay.

377
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:08,240
Yeah.

378
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:09,240
Let's go Russell Crowe.

379
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:10,240
Okay.

380
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:11,240
I'm just throwing a name out there.

381
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:12,240
Okay.

382
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:17,240
I'm looking at Alec Baldwin.

383
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:18,240
Okay.

384
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:25,240
You want to go Russell Crowe, Alec Baldwin?

385
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:26,240
Yes.

386
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:29,240
That's what I'm looking at.

387
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:30,240
Okay.

388
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:38,360
Alec Baldwin is old, disheveled, and just fucking nasty.

389
00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:42,440
But Russell Crowe is tougher.

390
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:46,800
I'm still- I'm going to go with Alec.

391
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,640
Russell Crowe is gladiator.

392
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:50,640
Oh shit.

393
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:51,640
You know what?

394
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:52,640
No, no, no.

395
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:53,640
I changed my vote.

396
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,680
Alec Baldwin is getting ready to go to prison.

397
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:56,720
Okay.

398
00:21:56,720 --> 00:22:01,200
Russell Crowe wins.

399
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:06,880
And it's not close.

400
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:08,880
Is that an agreement?

401
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:09,880
Agreement.

402
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:10,880
Alrighty.

403
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:11,880
Next one.

404
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,880
Let's get to a band.

405
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:15,880
Okay.

406
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,880
Quiet Riot with Kevin DeBro.

407
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:19,880
Uh-huh.

408
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:20,880
Allison Change.

409
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:21,880
Oh.

410
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:47,360
Just because I think Kevin DeBro, God rest his soul, could have beaten anybody at Allison

411
00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:55,520
Change.

412
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:59,480
But I don't think the rest of the band can hold up to the rest of Allison Change.

413
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:10,040
But by sheer number of people, I think that Allison Change wins this.

414
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:14,760
On that note, I'll give it to you.

415
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:15,760
Okay.

416
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:16,760
Alrighty.

417
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:17,760
Kevin DeBro.

418
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:18,760
Kevin DeBro cannot hold it on his own.

419
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:19,760
No, no, no.

420
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:25,360
Because the rest of the band looked like a bunch of hairless twinks.

421
00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:27,840
Except for Kevin DeBro.

422
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:30,320
Yeah, Kevin carried them.

423
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,400
Yeah, Kevin carried them.

424
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:36,880
So anyhow, Kevin, thank you for participating in the A**hole Olympics.

425
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:39,200
You're welcome to go back to the grave where you came from.

426
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,160
And thank you very much for participating.

427
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,240
Alrighty.

428
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:47,200
Next up.

429
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:51,400
Next up.

430
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:52,400
Whoopi Goldberg.

431
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:53,400
Jamie Lee Curtis.

432
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:54,400
Whoopi.

433
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:57,400
Well, I had to have women.

434
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:58,400
Yes.

435
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:03,400
Well, I think Jamie Lee Curtis.

436
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:11,160
I think they're going like one other woman on the...

437
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:12,160
No.

438
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:13,160
Oh, wait a second.

439
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:14,160
Okay.

440
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:15,160
I think they're going like one other woman battle I did not see.

441
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:16,160
Okay.

442
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:17,160
Do you want to do that one next?

443
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:18,160
We'll do that in a minute.

444
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:19,160
Okay.

445
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:25,280
I'm going to go with Whoopi Goldberg because Jamie Lee Curtis has always been very well

446
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,280
groomed and very well dressed.

447
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:29,840
High heels, long legs.

448
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:33,000
I think that she cares about her appearance.

449
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:38,840
And I think Whoopi Goldberg does not care about her appearance.

450
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:39,840
One word.

451
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:40,840
Yes?

452
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:41,840
Dread.

453
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:42,840
Oh.

454
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:43,840
Dread.

455
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:44,840
Okay.

456
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:45,840
Whoopi it is.

457
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:46,840
All right.

458
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:47,840
Okay.

459
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:55,320
Let's get this final female battle out of the way.

460
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:56,320
Okay.

461
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:57,320
And let these...

462
00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:58,320
Oh no.

463
00:24:58,320 --> 00:24:59,320
Wait a second.

464
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:00,320
I got another female on my...

465
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:01,320
Oh shit.

466
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:02,320
Okay.

467
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:03,320
Now let's take that one out.

468
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:04,320
Okay.

469
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:05,320
Let's do this.

470
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:06,320
Okay.

471
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:07,320
I'm going to go with Whoopi Goldberg.

472
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:08,320
Okay.

473
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:09,320
I'm going to go with Whoopi Goldberg.

474
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:10,320
Okay.

475
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:11,320
I'm going to go with Whoopi Goldberg.

476
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:12,320
Okay.

477
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:13,320
I'm going to go with Whoopi Goldberg.

478
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:14,320
Okay.

479
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:17,320
Off your list, let's go Paula Abdul.

480
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:18,320
Okay.

481
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:23,320
Off my list, Adele.

482
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:24,320
Oh.

483
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:25,320
Hmm.

484
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:33,480
I'm going to go with Paula Abdul just because she's darker.

485
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:36,680
And she like half Arabic.

486
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:41,120
She's got like dark, really long, dark, thick hair.

487
00:25:41,120 --> 00:25:42,120
Adele is blonde-ish.

488
00:25:42,120 --> 00:25:43,600
She's like Puerto Rican.

489
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:44,600
Oh, was I?

490
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:45,600
Okay.

491
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:46,600
Well, whatever she is, I think...

492
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:47,600
I'm sorry, stop.

493
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:48,600
Anyway.

494
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:52,880
I think her hair is darker and thicker and stands out more than Adele's.

495
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:53,880
So I'm going to go with...

496
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:59,840
Well, I'm also running off the article I had you read on our last podcast.

497
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:04,680
About Adele shaving her legs.

498
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:05,680
Oh yeah.

499
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:06,680
That's right.

500
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:07,680
That's right.

501
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:10,480
Well, yeah, that's true.

502
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:12,520
Paula Abdul was...

503
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:14,760
Wasn't she like an LA Laker before she was...

504
00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:15,760
You know what?

505
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:16,760
Yeah.

506
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:17,760
Yeah.

507
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:18,760
She was an LA Laker cheerleader.

508
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:19,760
Yes.

509
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:20,760
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

510
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:21,760
Okay.

511
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:28,520
I'm going to go with Adele because I think Paula Abdul was a cheerleader and all that.

512
00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:34,160
I think that she has grooming methods that she's kept ever since being a LA Laker cheerleader.

513
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:40,920
As much as I love Paula Abdul, I think I'm going to have to go with Adele on this one

514
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:41,920
too.

515
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:42,920
Okay.

516
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:43,920
Adele it is.

517
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:44,920
Thank you, Paula Abdul.

518
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:45,920
Yeah, I was really expressing on that one.

519
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:46,920
Yeah, it was.

520
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:47,920
It took a while.

521
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:48,920
You know what?

522
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:54,120
I mean, we had to come up with a clear cut winner and I think we proved it with a preponderance

523
00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:55,120
of evidence.

524
00:26:55,120 --> 00:26:57,120
Yeah, we had to have someone out.

525
00:26:57,120 --> 00:26:58,120
Yes.

526
00:26:58,120 --> 00:26:59,120
And I'm proud of us.

527
00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:00,560
We were troopers.

528
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:05,120
We talked it over and we came up with the best possible person.

529
00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:14,000
And if anybody else has any differences on this, email us.

530
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,760
Let us know your opinion.

531
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:22,960
And the email will be doucheb66 at yahoo.com.

532
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:31,520
That is D-O-U-C-H-E-B-6-6 at yahoo.com.

533
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:34,040
Don't be bashful.

534
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:37,040
Send in your comments.

535
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:43,920
So and okay, so let's see.

536
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:45,160
Or just send in anything.

537
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:46,520
You got something you want to say?

538
00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:47,520
Send it in.

539
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:48,520
Yeah, anything.

540
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:50,520
Let's go to your wife.

541
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:53,120
Yeah, you want to call me a stupid motherfucker?

542
00:27:53,120 --> 00:27:55,520
Number one, I'll tell you yes, you're probably right.

543
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:57,440
Number two, I'll say thanks for listening.

544
00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:01,240
Number three, I'll read what you had to say after that.

545
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:02,240
So anyhow.

546
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:05,240
Tell me, I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

547
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:06,240
Yeah.

548
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:07,240
I don't care.

549
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:10,240
I just want to know you're alive and breathing.

550
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:11,240
Yeah.

551
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:12,240
Yep.

552
00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:13,240
Yep.

553
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:14,760
You want to know if I actually have white hair on my nuts or not?

554
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:15,760
Ask me.

555
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:16,760
I can answer that.

556
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:21,760
Oh yeah, do I?

557
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:22,760
Yeah.

558
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:23,760
Actually, I don't.

559
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:24,760
Oh, you did?

560
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:31,680
I've not developed any gray or white hair on my nutsack.

561
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:33,160
I'm very happy about that.

562
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:34,160
Well, you did.

563
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:36,160
But if I did, I would welcome it.

564
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:39,160
40 years ago.

565
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:41,560
Yep.

566
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:42,560
I might have died him.

567
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:45,360
I might have died him back then if I ever had the chance.

568
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:46,360
But yeah, anyhow.

569
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:47,360
I don't know.

570
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:48,360
I don't know either.

571
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:49,360
I really don't know.

572
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,360
I'm just full of shit.

573
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:52,360
Anyhow.

574
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:53,360
Okay.

575
00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:56,360
Next one.

576
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:59,360
Okay.

577
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:02,360
Huh?

578
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:11,360
Damn dude, you got one out of the blue that I really don't have no way to hook him up

579
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:12,360
with.

580
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:13,360
Who is it?

581
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:14,360
Bernie Sanders.

582
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:19,360
Okay, I got one.

583
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:21,360
Against Mitch McConnell.

584
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,360
Two politicians.

585
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:25,360
Both old.

586
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:28,360
Well, he ain't on our list.

587
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:30,360
Oh, he isn't?

588
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:31,360
No.

589
00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:34,360
Bernie is, but Mitch isn't.

590
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:37,360
I'm trying to knock out our list.

591
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:38,360
Oh, okay.

592
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:39,360
All right.

593
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:40,360
Forget it then.

594
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:41,360
All right.

595
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:44,360
Just damn, I don't know who they're all about.

596
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:45,360
I'll come up with somebody.

597
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:46,360
Give me a minute.

598
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:47,360
Okay.

599
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:54,360
Just so everybody knows, we're making these battles up as we go, right?

600
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:56,360
As we're speaking.

601
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:57,360
Yes.

602
00:29:57,360 --> 00:30:00,360
It's funnier like this, I think.

603
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:02,360
Oh my God.

604
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:05,360
Yeah, because I'm looking over your names.

605
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:08,360
I'm looking over my names.

606
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:09,360
Okay.

607
00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:10,360
Okay.

608
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:15,360
Let's get this dude out of the way.

609
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:18,360
Zach Galifianakis.

610
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:19,360
Uh-huh.

611
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:24,360
He's one I'm very proud of.

612
00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:31,360
Well, then let's put him against somebody I'm very proud of.

613
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:32,360
Okay.

614
00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:33,360
Russell Brand.

615
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:41,360
I'm going to go with Galifianakis because that guy's bad.

616
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:42,360
Hold on.

617
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:43,360
Do what?

618
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:48,360
That's a battle either way.

619
00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:54,360
Yeah, but I'm going with Galifianakis because you don't come across beards like that normally.

620
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:56,360
That beard is a work of art.

621
00:30:56,360 --> 00:31:01,360
That thick ass and his thick eyebrows and his thick fucking curly hair.

622
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:04,360
I mean, his asshole hair is thought to be nuts.

623
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:07,360
Yeah, but Russell Brand just don't give a shit about nothing.

624
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:08,360
Yeah.

625
00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:13,360
But I don't think that Galifianakis does either.

626
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:14,360
Yeah.

627
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:16,360
Good point.

628
00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:17,360
Yeah.

629
00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:23,360
I'm going to stick with Galifianakis just by sheer abundance of hair on his face and chest.

630
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:29,360
I'm going to say that his asshole hair probably just looks like a fucking raging rainforest down there.

631
00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:32,360
Oh my God.

632
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:34,360
I can't believe it.

633
00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:35,360
What?

634
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:40,360
I figured Russell Brand would have made it in the top four.

635
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:41,360
Yeah.

636
00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:47,360
Sorry Russell, I'll bring you back, I promise.

637
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:48,360
All right.

638
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:49,360
Zach, thank you very much.

639
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:53,360
You're going on to the next round of the hairy asshole Olympics.

640
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:56,360
Russell Brand, we'll be talking to you.

641
00:31:56,360 --> 00:32:01,360
We hope you have some movies coming up and we hope you're doing well.

642
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:04,360
And thank you and good luck on your future endeavors.

643
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:09,360
And Russell, I promise, I will bring you back in hairy asshole Olympics.

644
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:10,360
Okay.

645
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:13,360
Russell nodded his head.

646
00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:14,360
He's like, yep.

647
00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:17,360
He's going to lay low.

648
00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:18,360
He's ready.

649
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:19,360
I don't know.

650
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:21,360
I think Russell Brand would be into this.

651
00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:23,360
I think he would too.

652
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:26,360
Yeah, he'd enjoy this.

653
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:27,360
Yeah.

654
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:29,360
Okay, let's get on to football.

655
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:30,360
Okay.

656
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:31,360
Yes.

657
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:34,360
And both these are off your list.

658
00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:35,360
Okay.

659
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:41,360
Carson Wentz, Jason Kelsey.

660
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:47,360
Jason Kelsey because he has got such thick hair.

661
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:49,360
Oh, Jason all the way.

662
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:50,360
Yeah.

663
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:53,360
Carson Wentz is a ginger.

664
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:55,360
He's a ginger.

665
00:32:55,360 --> 00:33:01,360
I just don't see how much hair is sprouting from him.

666
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:10,360
Honestly, I just, I've been, I listened to our last two, which announced both of our

667
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:12,360
lists.

668
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:15,360
We had a lot of gingers on our list.

669
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:16,360
We did.

670
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:18,360
It's not making it through.

671
00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:19,360
I know.

672
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:22,360
Actually, Zach Galifianakis is kind of a ginger.

673
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:24,360
Yeah, he kind of is.

674
00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:25,360
Yeah.

675
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:28,360
But, all right.

676
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:29,360
Okay.

677
00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:36,360
Where do we go from here?

678
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:41,360
Let's go.

679
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:43,360
Okay.

680
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:46,360
Jim Belushi.

681
00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:47,360
Okay.

682
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:50,360
Burt Reynolds.

683
00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:51,360
Oh.

684
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:54,360
Oh my God.

685
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:58,360
Why did I say that?

686
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:05,360
Now that I think of it, I'm just throwing names out there.

687
00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:07,360
Now that I think about it, that's a rough one.

688
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:10,360
Do you have any way you're leaning?

689
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:12,360
Because I'm not sure.

690
00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:18,360
If it was John Belushi?

691
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:19,360
Yeah.

692
00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:20,360
Jim?

693
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:23,360
I'm not so sure about.

694
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:24,360
Yeah.

695
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:28,360
He, you know he's hairy.

696
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:34,360
Just not quite sure how hairy.

697
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:49,360
And Burt, Burt was known to be very hairy.

698
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:51,360
I think I gotta go with Burt Reynolds.

699
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:53,360
Okay.

700
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:56,360
Okay, Burt Reynolds it is.

701
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:57,360
You agree?

702
00:34:57,360 --> 00:34:58,360
Yeah, I agree.

703
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:00,360
I agree.

704
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:05,360
Actually I was going to change it anyhow, so okay.

705
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:08,360
All right, Burt Reynolds, thank you for participating.

706
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:14,360
You're going to go on to the next round.

707
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:18,360
Next one please.

708
00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:20,360
Okay, I gotta do this.

709
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:23,360
Okay.

710
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:27,360
Keith Richards.

711
00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:29,360
Neil Young.

712
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:33,360
Ooh, that's a good one.

713
00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:39,360
I'm going to go, even though Keith Richards is old and probably has asshole hair everywhere,

714
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:44,360
and he loves it and he likes making people clean it and stuff, I'm sure.

715
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:46,360
Take pictures, braid it, etc.

716
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:53,360
I think that, you know what, I don't know.

717
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:55,360
What do you think, Rob?

718
00:35:55,360 --> 00:36:00,360
Okay, here's my thought smoke.

719
00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:10,360
I gave Neil Young props on the last one because he had the balls to call out Leonard Skinner.

720
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:11,360
Yeah, okay.

721
00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:13,360
That means you got hair on your ass.

722
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:16,360
Yeah, I would agree.

723
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:17,360
But you're not Keith Richards.

724
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:25,360
You ain't 280 years old.

725
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:26,360
All right.

726
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:27,360
I gotta go with Keith.

727
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:29,360
I gotta go with Keith too.

728
00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:42,360
As much as I'd love to give Neil, but you know what, I believe Leonard Skinner beat Neil out too, so bye-bye, Neil.

729
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:45,360
Bye-bye, Neil.

730
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:50,360
All right, next one.

731
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:53,360
Okay.

732
00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:56,360
You have two more women on your list.

733
00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:58,360
Okay.

734
00:36:58,360 --> 00:37:00,360
Kim Thal.

735
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:04,360
No, Kim Thal is Salengarden.

736
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:08,360
Oh! Oh, shit!

737
00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:11,360
He's the really hairy, long-haired guy.

738
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:13,360
Gotcha.

739
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:14,360
Yeah.

740
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:17,360
I'm back.

741
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:20,360
Well, I looked at Kim Thal and brought some chicks.

742
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:21,360
Did you spell it right?

743
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:24,360
K-Y-M, I think is it, not K-I-M?

744
00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:26,360
Oh, I don't know.

745
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:27,360
Anyhow, doesn't matter.

746
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:28,360
Go ahead.

747
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:32,360
I brought some chicks.

748
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:36,360
Well, never mind then.

749
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:44,360
All right, who is Kim Thal against?

750
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:46,360
Let's go.

751
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:50,360
Did you look up Danny Coker?

752
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:55,360
Yes, I did.

753
00:37:55,360 --> 00:38:03,360
Let's put Kim Thal against Danny Coker.

754
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:07,360
Sleeps in a coffin.

755
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:09,360
Yep.

756
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:12,360
How many more do we have left?

757
00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:24,360
Oh.

758
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:26,360
What did you say?

759
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:28,360
I'm done.

760
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:29,360
Okay.

761
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:33,360
You're all aware of the Amber Alert, right?

762
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:36,360
Well, get rid of your disinfectants and rubber bedspreads, kids.

763
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:39,360
It's the all-new Amber Heard Alert system.

764
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:42,360
This fantastic early warning device helps one stay dry

765
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:45,360
and rid of all those annoying mattress invoices.

766
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:48,360
Simply hook up to Child Under 6 or Psychopath

767
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:50,360
and wait for the running water sound.

768
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:52,360
This clever machine has three distinct settings,

769
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:56,360
babbling brooks, ocean waves, and roaring river for those close calls.

770
00:38:56,360 --> 00:39:04,360
Order today and get a free Cinnabon Renuza Cartridge.

771
00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:07,360
Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper.

772
00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:10,360
It's strange insults from an alien.

773
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:12,360
Real hilarity.

774
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:16,360
I will rescue you.

775
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:26,360
But my mom told me to not burn trash.

776
00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:29,360
Hello.

777
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:31,360
This is Satan.

778
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:36,360
You might know me from my pet name, Inflation.

779
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:40,360
I'm here to tell you that there's no better way to relax than

780
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:46,360
listening to two douchebags in microphone by a nice warm fire at night.

781
00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:51,360
I sit there and I reflect on all the souls I burned that day.

782
00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:54,360
Enjoy.

783
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:55,360
Bye.

784
00:39:55,360 --> 00:40:10,360
Music

785
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:25,360
Music

786
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:34,360
Music

787
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:46,360
Music

788
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:48,360
That's where I was gonna go.

789
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:50,360
She was with Eddie.

790
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:58,360
Rosie's just Rosie.

791
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:04,360
Yeah, Rosie's just a fucking blob of shit.

792
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:06,360
Rosie moves on.

793
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:08,360
Valerie Bertinelli, thank you.

794
00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:13,360
We wish you luck on your future endeavors and we're sorry about your loss of Edward.

795
00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:16,360
Have a great night.

796
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:19,360
Next.

797
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:22,360
David Letterman.

798
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:27,360
Eugene Levy.

799
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:30,360
I'm gonna go with Letterman.

800
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:36,360
Because he looks like Captain Caveman with that beard and he's old.

801
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:38,360
I don't know.

802
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:41,360
Eugene Levy, the Jewish.

803
00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:46,360
He really don't, you can tell, he really don't care about himself.

804
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:50,360
But David at the same time, dude, there's a rough one.

805
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:59,360
Yeah, you wanna flip a coin?

806
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:01,360
Give me Eugene with heads.

807
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:06,360
Okay.

808
00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:08,360
Eugene wins.

809
00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:12,360
You're on a roll, you've won like the last four.

810
00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:17,360
Dude, that's funny, Eugene won it on heads the last time.

811
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:21,360
Wow.

812
00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:22,360
Alright.

813
00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:25,360
Okay, next.

814
00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:27,360
Oh my God.

815
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:29,360
We're getting down to brass backs here, buddy.

816
00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:36,360
Okay.

817
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:40,360
Alright.

818
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:41,360
Yeah.

819
00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:43,360
Actually, they're really nice.

820
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:46,360
Okay, let's get the final band out of the way.

821
00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:49,360
Okay.

822
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:52,360
Skid Row versus Gothsnet.

823
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:55,360
Okay, now.

824
00:42:55,360 --> 00:43:02,360
Have you seen any recent pictures of Sebastian Bach?

825
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:05,360
I don't know how recent.

826
00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:08,360
Oh, I mean he looks like a bag of fried shit.

827
00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:10,360
Oh.

828
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:13,360
I mean he's like kind of overweight and kind of bloated looking.

829
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:16,360
He still has a long hair.

830
00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:21,360
He's still got that kind of fucking whiny fucking high voice.

831
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:22,360
Yeah.

832
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:30,360
So I'm gonna say that Godsmack is gonna win.

833
00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:31,360
You think Godsmack's gonna win?

834
00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:32,360
Alright.

835
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:35,360
Yeah, and here's why.

836
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:38,360
I think that...

837
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:39,360
No, you know what?

838
00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:40,360
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

839
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:41,360
I'm thinking wrong.

840
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:43,360
I'm thinking wrong.

841
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:46,360
Skid Row is older and they don't give a shit.

842
00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:50,360
I think Godsmack is almost like millennial generation,

843
00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:57,360
and I think that they keep everything all prim and proper down there.

844
00:43:57,360 --> 00:43:58,360
Okay.

845
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:01,360
I think Skid Row wins because they don't give a shit.

846
00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:04,360
They're Xers, they're Generation Xers.

847
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:06,360
They're headed into retirement.

848
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:10,360
I mean they're all like 60 something, and they don't give a fuck.

849
00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:13,360
They still got long hair, and they're still like nutty,

850
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:22,360
and I think if they grow ass hair out, just have Groupie's fucking comit.

851
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:25,360
I'm going with Skid Row.

852
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:28,360
Yeah, last pick as I see it.

853
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:29,360
Okay.

854
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:31,360
He's singing Godsmack.

855
00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:32,360
Yeah.

856
00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:36,360
Had the beard, nicely trimmed, facial hair.

857
00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:37,360
Ah, okay.

858
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:39,360
That doesn't fly.

859
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:40,360
I'm definitely saying Skid Row.

860
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:42,360
Sebastian Bach.

861
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:43,360
Sebastian Bach.

862
00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:44,360
Uh-huh.

863
00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:48,360
Looked like he could have 30 birds nests in his hair.

864
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:49,360
Yes.

865
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:52,360
Matter of fact, you have your phone right there?

866
00:44:52,360 --> 00:45:00,360
Look up recent images of Sebastian Bach, and you tell me if he doesn't.

867
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:01,360
All right.

868
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:05,360
Well, while I'm doing that, check out how tall I am.

869
00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:07,360
All right.

870
00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:15,360
Let's go...

871
00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:16,360
Oh, my God.

872
00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:17,360
What?

873
00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:20,360
Okay.

874
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:26,360
Do you remember that picture of Silabow?

875
00:45:26,360 --> 00:45:29,360
Yeah, yeah.

876
00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:32,360
Yeah.

877
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:35,360
That picture versus Jack Black.

878
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:38,360
Ooh.

879
00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:40,360
Oh.

880
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:44,360
I almost say I want to go with Shy Laboe.

881
00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:47,360
But I'm going to stick with the script.

882
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:53,360
Jack Black.

883
00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:54,360
Okay.

884
00:45:54,360 --> 00:46:01,360
I think every day I got to go with Jack Black.

885
00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:03,360
Mm-hmm.

886
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:10,360
And then, Laboe, I've been talking about during that picture, during that...

887
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:11,360
Uh-huh.

888
00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:12,360
That was a...

889
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:17,360
Jack Black has been in Jack Black all his life.

890
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:18,360
Exactly.

891
00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:19,360
I agree.

892
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:20,360
All right.

893
00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:23,360
Jack Black has won that one, I guess.

894
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:24,360
Yep.

895
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:25,360
All right.

896
00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:26,360
Shy Laboe.

897
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:27,360
Laboe.

898
00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:28,360
Not Laboe.

899
00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:31,360
Shy Laboe for Blaboe or whatever the fuck.

900
00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:32,360
Or whatever his name is.

901
00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:35,360
Yeah, you're free to go on and do more shitty movies.

902
00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:36,360
Thank you for your participation.

903
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:37,360
Have a good night.

904
00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:38,360
All right.

905
00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:41,360
We got another one left?

906
00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:42,360
Yeah.

907
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:45,360
We're down to our final battle.

908
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:46,360
Oh, okay.

909
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:47,360
And...

910
00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:50,360
Does it need air drum?

911
00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:51,360
No.

912
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:54,360
I don't know how this happened.

913
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:55,360
Okay.

914
00:46:55,360 --> 00:47:03,360
Because I didn't have a good match for that one and I didn't have a good match for that

915
00:47:03,360 --> 00:47:06,360
one, so now they're up against each other.

916
00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:07,360
Okay.

917
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:09,360
You're gonna love it.

918
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:10,360
All right.

919
00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:13,360
One's for your list and one's for mine.

920
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:14,360
Okay, good.

921
00:47:14,360 --> 00:47:15,360
Bernie Sanders...

922
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:16,360
Off your list.

923
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:17,360
Uh-huh.

924
00:47:17,360 --> 00:47:26,360
And my last person, Ozzy.

925
00:47:26,360 --> 00:47:28,360
Oh!

926
00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:31,360
Wow.

927
00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:34,360
This is a good battle for just like being makeshift.

928
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:35,360
Okay.

929
00:47:35,360 --> 00:47:40,360
Yeah, they boiled down to tonight.

930
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:44,360
Like I said, Ozzy got a lot of street cred for being able to shit everywhere according

931
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:46,360
to Gieser Butler's book.

932
00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:50,360
He was like the mad shitter of fucking Birmingham.

933
00:47:50,360 --> 00:47:53,360
Come on, come on, man.

934
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:56,360
Ozzy pissed on the Alamo.

935
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:57,360
On the Alamo.

936
00:47:57,360 --> 00:48:00,360
I'm going with Ozzy all the way.

937
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:03,360
I thought about that earlier today.

938
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:08,360
I had a battle for him either way, no matter who he faced.

939
00:48:08,360 --> 00:48:09,360
Okay.

940
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:10,360
He pissed on the Alamo.

941
00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:12,360
That dude's got some ass there.

942
00:48:12,360 --> 00:48:13,360
Okay.

943
00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:16,360
Ozzy has won that.

944
00:48:16,360 --> 00:48:17,360
Okay.

945
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:18,360
Alright.

946
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:19,360
Alright.

947
00:48:19,360 --> 00:48:20,360
I think you guys...

948
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:21,360
I'll get that...

949
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:22,360
I'll narrow down the list.

950
00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:24,360
I'll get it back to you, brother.

951
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:26,360
Alright, that sounds great.

952
00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:28,360
Oh, oh, hang on.

953
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:31,360
Two, four, six, seven.

954
00:48:31,360 --> 00:48:37,360
Two, four, six, eight, ten, twelve, fourteen.

955
00:48:37,360 --> 00:48:38,360
Oh!

956
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:39,360
What?

957
00:48:39,360 --> 00:48:44,360
I'm a little better at it, buddy.

958
00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:45,360
Oh, yeah?

959
00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:46,360
Yeah.

960
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:47,360
Okay.

961
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:54,360
I'll show you what I sent you the picture.

962
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:55,360
Okay.

963
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:56,360
So, alright.

964
00:48:56,360 --> 00:48:57,360
What you got?

965
00:48:57,360 --> 00:48:58,360
What have I got?

966
00:48:58,360 --> 00:48:59,360
Yes.

967
00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:10,360
For what?

968
00:49:10,360 --> 00:49:13,360
Well, we're just playing stuff here.

969
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:14,360
We asked about...

970
00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:15,360
Oh, okay.

971
00:49:15,360 --> 00:49:17,360
You're talking about more stuff coming up?

972
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:18,360
Yeah.

973
00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:19,360
Okay.

974
00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:20,360
Yeah.

975
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:21,360
Let's see here.

976
00:49:21,360 --> 00:49:22,360
Let me find something here.

977
00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:30,360
Let's see.

978
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:34,360
Oh!

979
00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:42,360
I've got the Harry Asshole Olympics light.

980
00:49:42,360 --> 00:49:43,360
What?

981
00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:44,360
Yes.

982
00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:52,360
These are like really horrible candidates against each other.

983
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:55,360
You want to hear them?

984
00:49:55,360 --> 00:49:56,360
Okay.

985
00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:57,360
Okay.

986
00:49:57,360 --> 00:50:00,360
I don't know why you don't say please, but alright.

987
00:50:00,360 --> 00:50:02,360
No, these are not winners.

988
00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:03,360
None of them are winners.

989
00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:05,360
They're just weird little pairings.

990
00:50:05,360 --> 00:50:06,360
Okay.

991
00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:07,360
This sounds good.

992
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:08,360
This sounds good.

993
00:50:08,360 --> 00:50:14,360
My first one is Howard Stern versus Robin Quivers.

994
00:50:14,360 --> 00:50:17,360
I've got to go with Stern.

995
00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:22,360
I'm going to go with Stern also.

996
00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:23,360
Second one...

997
00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:26,360
You've got to get Talley, isn't this?

998
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:27,360
No.

999
00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:28,360
No.

1000
00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:29,360
These guys are not moving on.

1001
00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:32,360
They're little one-offs that I did one day.

1002
00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:39,360
Ricky Martin versus Justin Bieber.

1003
00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:49,360
I'm going to go with Bieber.

1004
00:50:49,360 --> 00:50:52,360
I could see both of them watching.

1005
00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:55,360
That's probably why they're both watching.

1006
00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:56,360
Yeah.

1007
00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:57,360
You see that?

1008
00:50:57,360 --> 00:50:58,360
Yeah.

1009
00:50:58,360 --> 00:50:59,360
I don't know.

1010
00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:05,360
Ricky is Hispanic, but I can still see him waxing.

1011
00:51:05,360 --> 00:51:08,360
I think he would wax, and I think Bieber would wax too.

1012
00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:12,360
Bieber is just a pretty boy.

1013
00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:13,360
Yes.

1014
00:51:13,360 --> 00:51:15,360
I think maybe Ricky Martin.

1015
00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:19,360
Yeah, I'll give it to Ricky.

1016
00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:23,360
Ricky at least had a little stubble.

1017
00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:24,360
Yes.

1018
00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:25,360
Okay.

1019
00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:26,360
At one point.

1020
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:27,360
That's a good point.

1021
00:51:27,360 --> 00:51:29,360
Next one...

1022
00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:31,360
Jimmy Kimmel versus Jimmy Fallon.

1023
00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:36,360
Oh, damn.

1024
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:38,360
I think Fallon wins.

1025
00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:44,360
Yeah, I think I'm going to have to give it to Fallon too.

1026
00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:45,360
All right.

1027
00:51:45,360 --> 00:51:47,360
Just by the way they look, I would go with Fallon.

1028
00:51:47,360 --> 00:51:48,360
Yeah.

1029
00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:49,360
Yeah.

1030
00:51:49,360 --> 00:51:50,360
Okay.

1031
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:51,360
Next one...

1032
00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:53,360
Donald Trump versus Joe Biden.

1033
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:54,360
Trump also.

1034
00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:58,360
Trump all the way, baby.

1035
00:51:58,360 --> 00:51:59,360
Trump.

1036
00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:00,360
All right.

1037
00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:01,360
Next one...

1038
00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:02,360
Lizzo versus Miley Cyrus.

1039
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:15,360
I'm going to go with Lizzo even though she probably hires people to shave her asshole.

1040
00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:25,360
I think Miley Cyrus can get to her asshole a little bit better than Lizzo.

1041
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:28,360
I think I might have to go with you on that.

1042
00:52:28,360 --> 00:52:29,360
All right.

1043
00:52:29,360 --> 00:52:30,360
Lizzo it is.

1044
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:32,360
The exact same reason.

1045
00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:33,360
Yep.

1046
00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:34,360
Next one...

1047
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:36,360
Battle of the fast food.

1048
00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:38,360
Ronald McDonald versus Wendy.

1049
00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:46,360
Two gingers and two mascots for two competing fast food restaurants.

1050
00:52:46,360 --> 00:52:48,360
Ronald.

1051
00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:50,360
Ronald.

1052
00:52:50,360 --> 00:52:53,360
Finally, last but not least...

1053
00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:59,360
Joe Burrow versus Josh Allen.

1054
00:52:59,360 --> 00:53:09,360
Oh.

1055
00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:14,360
I'm going to have to give it to Josh Allen.

1056
00:53:14,360 --> 00:53:15,360
Me too.

1057
00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:18,360
Because I'm tired of hearing Joe Burrow's name.

1058
00:53:18,360 --> 00:53:19,360
Okay.

1059
00:53:19,360 --> 00:53:20,360
Yeah.

1060
00:53:20,360 --> 00:53:21,360
You know what?

1061
00:53:21,360 --> 00:53:24,360
I can agree with you 100%.

1062
00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:25,360
All right.

1063
00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:27,360
Josh Allen is darker hair.

1064
00:53:27,360 --> 00:53:28,360
Yeah.

1065
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:29,360
A little bit of beard.

1066
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:30,360
Yeah.

1067
00:53:30,360 --> 00:53:31,360
All right.

1068
00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:34,360
Josh Allen it is and I agree with you.

1069
00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:36,360
And those go nowhere.

1070
00:53:36,360 --> 00:53:40,360
They're one-offs that I thought would be fun to run against each other and that's all.

1071
00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:41,360
Those were fun.

1072
00:53:41,360 --> 00:53:42,360
Yeah.

1073
00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:45,360
And we can do more light ones too.

1074
00:53:45,360 --> 00:53:46,360
Yeah.

1075
00:53:46,360 --> 00:53:47,360
Yeah.

1076
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:53,360
They're not going to win anything but pitting against each other is kind of funny.

1077
00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:54,360
Yeah.

1078
00:53:54,360 --> 00:53:57,360
Because most of them really don't have hairy asses.

1079
00:53:57,360 --> 00:53:58,360
No.

1080
00:53:58,360 --> 00:53:59,360
I agree.

1081
00:53:59,360 --> 00:54:03,360
We're just making fun of them at that point.

1082
00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:04,360
Yep.

1083
00:54:04,360 --> 00:54:16,360
Last but not least in today's podcast is John Karabi identifying with John 5 of Motley Crew.

1084
00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:17,360
Oh.

1085
00:54:17,360 --> 00:54:18,360
All right.

1086
00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:24,360
You know a lot of people have been going to John Karabi about all the Motley stuff because

1087
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:26,360
he was a member for a while.

1088
00:54:26,360 --> 00:54:28,360
You've been reporting a lot about that lately.

1089
00:54:28,360 --> 00:54:29,360
Yes I have.

1090
00:54:29,360 --> 00:54:35,360
All of the studio updates crew have given throughout 2023 featured John 5 insinuating

1091
00:54:35,360 --> 00:54:39,360
that he's Mars replacement within the group entirely.

1092
00:54:39,360 --> 00:54:45,360
Karabi discussed the lineup change during an interview with On the Road to Rock podcast

1093
00:54:45,360 --> 00:54:53,360
after being asked if the band has plans to reissue Motley Crew in 2024 for its 30th anniversary.

1094
00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:59,360
And this is one with John Karabi is just simply titled Motley Crew the self titled album.

1095
00:54:59,360 --> 00:55:02,360
And he said I try not to get involved in anything Motley.

1096
00:55:02,360 --> 00:55:04,360
I get to ask questions.

1097
00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:05,360
I answer them move on.

1098
00:55:05,360 --> 00:55:12,360
But honestly from where I'm standing Motley's gone out of their way to remove myself and

1099
00:55:12,360 --> 00:55:15,360
part of their history from their history.

1100
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:18,360
So it is what it is the vocalist shared.

1101
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:22,360
Karabi then praised John 5 and said he loves and respects him.

1102
00:55:22,360 --> 00:55:29,360
Thought he though he admitted he isn't surprised by any of the drama that went on between crew

1103
00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:30,360
and Mars.

1104
00:55:30,360 --> 00:55:36,360
And Mick Mars was said that he was still wanted to be a part of the band and that he wanted

1105
00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:40,360
to write music and do albums with him.

1106
00:55:40,360 --> 00:55:43,360
But he just didn't want to tour.

1107
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:45,360
OK can I interrupt you right there?

1108
00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:48,360
Yeah go ahead.

1109
00:55:48,360 --> 00:55:57,360
Just a lot of people when you think about Motley Crew you don't think about John Karabi.

1110
00:55:57,360 --> 00:56:00,360
You don't think about 5.

1111
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:02,360
You think about the originals.

1112
00:56:02,360 --> 00:56:04,360
Yes I agree.

1113
00:56:04,360 --> 00:56:09,360
But those of us that know them know what happened.

1114
00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:10,360
Yes.

1115
00:56:10,360 --> 00:56:13,360
And we know who did what.

1116
00:56:13,360 --> 00:56:15,360
Mm hmm.

1117
00:56:15,360 --> 00:56:17,360
Just throwing that out there.

1118
00:56:17,360 --> 00:56:20,360
No you're right.

1119
00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:25,360
So anyhow John Karabi went on to say John 5 has got big shoes to fill.

1120
00:56:25,360 --> 00:56:28,360
He's kind of stuck in this and trust me I get it.

1121
00:56:28,360 --> 00:56:31,360
Because I was stuck in this shitty place as well.

1122
00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:36,360
Between Motley Crew and whoever was being replaced fans he continued.

1123
00:56:36,360 --> 00:56:40,360
I had to deal with the fans that were massive and still fans and I get it.

1124
00:56:40,360 --> 00:56:46,360
And it was awkward at times to sit and listen to the guys do interviews where they went

1125
00:56:46,360 --> 00:56:49,360
out of their way to slag Vince.

1126
00:56:49,360 --> 00:56:56,360
I didn't even know the guys so I had nothing shitty to say about him.

1127
00:56:56,360 --> 00:57:01,360
And anyhow Motley Crew's Nicky Six still said we never saw it coming and Mick Mars wasn't

1128
00:57:01,360 --> 00:57:03,360
going to be able to tour.

1129
00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:09,360
The vocalist further added that he knows John 5 adores Mars which likely adds to the weirdness

1130
00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:14,360
of the position in the band because he's also friends with Six, Lee and Neil.

1131
00:57:14,360 --> 00:57:18,360
They offered him a great gig and he's doing it so trust me I can relate.

1132
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:24,360
Listen to the full interview on this location on this website here that they give.

1133
00:57:24,360 --> 00:57:41,360
Anyhow the thing is the situation is weird because Mick is too big of a part of a Motley Crew.

1134
00:57:41,360 --> 00:57:43,360
Yes, yes he always has to.

1135
00:57:43,360 --> 00:57:47,360
Yeah and the weirdness is never going to go away.

1136
00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:57,360
Also Crew may have a bass fan but they also have the fans that grew up and watched them

1137
00:57:57,360 --> 00:57:59,360
break it big.

1138
00:57:59,360 --> 00:58:02,360
We're the ones that watched them break it big and we are the traditionalists.

1139
00:58:02,360 --> 00:58:07,360
We're the Karens of the world that don't give a shit if it's John 5 or Mick Mars and probably

1140
00:58:07,360 --> 00:58:09,360
don't even know the difference.

1141
00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:17,360
It's just like the ACDC people that had no idea that there was Bon Scott and then Brian Johnson.

1142
00:58:17,360 --> 00:58:19,360
It's the same thing.

1143
00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:25,360
A lot of people don't know or don't care that it's a different person in there but I'll

1144
00:58:25,360 --> 00:58:30,360
know the mindset that without Mick there's no Motley Crew.

1145
00:58:30,360 --> 00:58:32,360
It's just like with John Krabi.

1146
00:58:32,360 --> 00:58:35,360
There would not be high level vows on that.

1147
00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:39,360
I love the band featuring John Krabi with the rest of what's left of Motley Crew without

1148
00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:43,360
Vince Neil but to me it was not Motley Crew.

1149
00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:48,360
They should have called it another name and I would have been like man that's a great

1150
00:58:48,360 --> 00:58:49,360
band.

1151
00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:50,360
They sound awesome.

1152
00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:54,360
They kind of sound Aerosmith-ish and they have really good sound, really good tempo.

1153
00:58:54,360 --> 00:58:57,360
I like the singer but...

1154
00:58:57,360 --> 00:59:01,360
At that point they should have changed their name to Motley Gang.

1155
00:59:01,360 --> 00:59:07,360
Yeah, yeah something else but when they stuck with the original moniker it was like no it

1156
00:59:07,360 --> 00:59:09,360
doesn't work.

1157
00:59:09,360 --> 00:59:17,360
Well that's kind of like okay when Van Halen made their change from David Lee Robb to Sammy

1158
00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:21,360
Hagar a lot of people did not like that.

1159
00:59:21,360 --> 00:59:24,360
But it took off.

1160
00:59:24,360 --> 00:59:26,360
It took off.

1161
00:59:26,360 --> 00:59:29,360
I was one of the ones that didn't like it.

1162
00:59:29,360 --> 00:59:34,360
I did not like it at first but the more I listened to it the more I liked it.

1163
00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:37,360
Well I thought it should have been called...

1164
00:59:37,360 --> 00:59:43,360
And to this day Michael Anthony is still with Sammy Hagar.

1165
00:59:43,360 --> 00:59:49,360
Yes, he's in the circle with Sammy Hagar and they've been best friends.

1166
00:59:49,360 --> 00:59:54,360
He still fills in in the band.

1167
00:59:54,360 --> 01:00:01,360
Yeah, I think that the reason they didn't change the name Van Halen is because simply

1168
01:00:01,360 --> 01:00:05,360
Eddie Van Halen, Alex Van Halen that's their last name.

1169
01:00:05,360 --> 01:00:10,360
But I think if that wasn't their last name they would have considered calling it Van Hagar.

1170
01:00:10,360 --> 01:00:15,360
Right, I mean that's what media called them.

1171
01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:22,360
Yeah and it was very fitting too because it took someone who's a very prolific singer,

1172
01:00:22,360 --> 01:00:29,360
a very prolific songwriter, he was extremely popular and they mixed him in with a band

1173
01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:36,360
that was extremely popular and they took out a lead singer that was extremely popular.

1174
01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:43,360
So it was a very odd situation and they probably could have gotten away, one of the few times

1175
01:00:43,360 --> 01:00:49,360
they could have gotten away with it, someone changing their name to fit having a new lead singer.

1176
01:00:49,360 --> 01:00:52,360
That might never happen.

1177
01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:54,360
And they ended up becoming one of the biggest bands ever.

1178
01:00:54,360 --> 01:00:58,360
Yeah, so anyhow.

1179
01:00:58,360 --> 01:01:02,360
Anything can happen people.

1180
01:01:02,360 --> 01:01:04,360
Yep it can.

1181
01:01:04,360 --> 01:01:07,360
Look at me, I'm living in Camden, Missouri.

1182
01:01:07,360 --> 01:01:09,360
I'm part of a podcast.

1183
01:01:09,360 --> 01:01:11,360
That's right.

1184
01:01:11,360 --> 01:01:13,360
Anything can happen people.

1185
01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:15,360
Yep.

1186
01:01:15,360 --> 01:01:21,360
So alright on that I think we're going to go ahead and end this podcast right now.

1187
01:01:21,360 --> 01:01:24,360
So anyhow everybody, thank you for listening.

1188
01:01:24,360 --> 01:01:26,360
We appreciate you guys.

1189
01:01:26,360 --> 01:01:30,360
Please keep listening, tell your friends.

1190
01:01:30,360 --> 01:01:32,360
Thank you everybody.

1191
01:01:32,360 --> 01:01:34,360
Help keep this thing growing.

1192
01:01:34,360 --> 01:01:41,360
We lost a few listeners since I shut down the website to douchebagsandmicrophone.net

1193
01:01:41,360 --> 01:01:43,360
and I did it for good reason.

1194
01:01:43,360 --> 01:01:45,360
I'm paying for nothing.

1195
01:01:45,360 --> 01:01:47,360
Nothing on that damn fucker.

1196
01:01:47,360 --> 01:01:51,360
We discussed that, we're in agreement on that.

1197
01:01:51,360 --> 01:01:55,360
Yeah I need to do something different but the time right now is not now.

1198
01:01:55,360 --> 01:01:57,360
We have too many other things going on.

1199
01:01:57,360 --> 01:02:01,360
But when I can get away with putting it up and having it done right I will.

1200
01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:04,360
But the time isn't right now.

1201
01:02:04,360 --> 01:02:06,360
So anyhow.

1202
01:02:06,360 --> 01:02:08,360
But you can still get a hold of us.

1203
01:02:08,360 --> 01:02:12,360
Yes, so I'm hoping that these people that got shut out due to that being gone,

1204
01:02:12,360 --> 01:02:14,360
will find another way to listen to us.

1205
01:02:14,360 --> 01:02:18,360
Because it's a pretty decent amount of people that aren't listening now.

1206
01:02:18,360 --> 01:02:21,360
Because I think they simply don't know how to get a hold of us.

1207
01:02:21,360 --> 01:02:24,360
But I hope they find their way and I hope we get them back.

1208
01:02:24,360 --> 01:02:27,360
So anyhow, but the podcast is still doing very well.

1209
01:02:27,360 --> 01:02:29,360
So thank you everybody.

1210
01:02:29,360 --> 01:02:31,360
Have a good night.

1211
01:02:31,360 --> 01:02:33,360
Good night.

1212
01:02:33,360 --> 01:02:48,360
Bye.

1213
01:02:48,360 --> 01:02:50,360
Hey, where did they go?

1214
01:02:50,360 --> 01:02:52,360
Where are the douche bags?

1215
01:02:52,360 --> 01:02:55,360
Oh my god, someone took a dump in the corner.

1216
01:02:55,360 --> 01:02:57,360
Oh jeez.

1217
01:02:57,360 --> 01:02:59,360
Glad they're gone.

1218
01:02:59,360 --> 01:03:01,360
Let's just hope they don't come back.

1219
01:03:01,360 --> 01:03:03,360
Oh man, that smells.