Live from the historic River Market District in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the
banks of the beautiful Crystal Blue Walkers of the Missouri River, it is Tootboosh Bags
and Microphone Podcast.
Now, deep thoughts with Mark.
So, if I have a glass of ice water and the ice melts into the water, is my water then
watered down? Hmm, I may never know.
Continuing our quest here at Tootboosh Bags and Microphone to be constantly funny, once
again we offer you strange insults from an alien.
Alright, two douchebags and a microphone on Mark.
And I'm Rob.
We've got all different types of stuff coming up today. Rob's participants in the Harry
Asshole Olympics, who we think has a hairier asshole. We put two famous people together
and the one that we think has the hairier asshole goes on to the next round. We did
mine last week, it might be the last podcast, I'm not for sure. I think it was the last
podcast.
Yeah, it was last night.
So, we have mine last night and then Rob's tonight, when you guys hear this, this will
be Rob's.
So, anyhow, we have some...
This is our version of America's Got Talent.
Yes, we think it's better. We think it's better.
Yeah, I do.
Yeah, I do too. I mean, who doesn't want to know who has a hairier asshole, right?
I always wonder that.
Yeah, me too. I mean, I see people on TV and I'm like, hmm, I wonder if they have a hairier
asshole. So, anyhow.
All right. Okay. I have a little bit of... John Karabi was asked to weigh in on the Motley
Crew situation about McMar's suing them and he had some words that he wanted to say. So,
we've been kind of reporting this off and on for a while. So, anyhow, this comes from,
I think, Blabbermouth, maybe. I'm not for sure where this came from because evidently
it didn't print out for me like it was supposed to. So, anyhow, it's from somebody and anyhow,
it goes like this. In a recent interview with Cassius Morris, ex-Motley Crew frontman John
Karabi, who joined the band in 1992 as a replacement for... Man fucking... I'll tell you what,
that ragweed kills me.
Oh, tell me. I've been biting it too, man.
Yeah. Anyhow, in 1992 as a replacement for original singer Vince Neil was asked if he
thinks there is any truth to McMar's claim that he was only band member to play 100%
live on Crew's 2022 Stadium Tour, claiming bassist Nikki Sixx did not play a single note
on bass during the entire US tour. Karabi responded as transcribed by blabbermouth.net.
Okay, it was blabbermouth. Nowadays, recording on Pro Tools, because I released a couple
of solo songs a little bit ago, if you said to me, hey, can you just give me the rhythm
guitar track, I could literally just go online, highlight that track and email that just to...
I could just email you the whole track. So as far as the drums go or any other stuff,
nowadays with the computers and all that shit, yeah, it's possible. Is it happening? I don't
know. I haven't toured with Motley Crew in 27... Oh no, 28 years. And asked if Motley
used any backing tracks. Well, he was in the band. Karabi said no. I mean, we did use tracks.
I'll say that right now. We were using some backing vocal tracks that we used on the song
Misunderstood. There was also a 53 piece orchestra on that track. So we just used the orchestra
tracks to enhance what we were doing live on stage. But then Nicky was playing bass,
Tommy Lee was playing drums and Mick was playing guitar. I was playing guitar and I was singing.
Now, whether or not they've elaborated since, I couldn't tell you. I haven't seen Motley
live since I saw them one time in my entire life. And that was a tour that they did in
2003. They toured with Aerosmith and I saw them that one time. I haven't seen them since.
I don't know about Mick's claims. Mick has never really been a bullshitter in the past.
So I say, you know, if he says that they're using tracks, then you know, maybe they were.
I don't know. Pressed about it if he cares at all personally about whether or not bands
use backing tracks during live shows, John said. That's not for me to determine. Honestly,
I'm sure it's out there. The bands that are using tracks to enhance their sound, if the
fans want to pay money for a ticket knowing that there's probably tracks being played,
then that's their call. Personally, I don't really believe in that myself. I have a solo band
and the Dead Daisies. We don't use any tracks at all. Are the backing vocals as strong as they are
on the record? No, but it's live. I remember as a kid seeing Aerosmith and hearing the four part
harmonies on songs that Aerosmith did on the record. Then I go to see them live and it was just
Stephen Tyler and Joe Perry singing. It's that kind of ratty little whatever and I always enjoyed it.
It was about seeing the whole band, seeing the whole band process and seeing the show.
So personally, I wouldn't do it, but that's just me. Other bands choose to do it and the fans are
buying tickets for them, then great. Awesome. Knock yourself out. I have no comment, positive
or negative, on the subject at all to each his own. That's why we have 32 flavors of Baskin-Robbins
ice cream. I agree with John Krabbe 100%. Personally, I like... Oh shit. Rob, hang on.
My thing died on me. Alright. I'm glad I at least got the Motley Crue shit in. Fuck.
I've always been a fan of the raw stuff. If a band sounds horrible, I don't want to hear them sound
horrible. Don't get me wrong on that. But at the same time, I would like to... I don't mind backing
vocals if they use them properly. Do you mind them? Rob? Oh shit. It did it again. Hang on.
We're having all kinds of problems on this podcast and I apologize. Hello, you there, Rob?
Okay. Hang on. So Rob, what do you think? Do you mind if they do a few backing tracks or would you
rather hear it just all like it should be? Me personally, I'd rather hear it the way it should be,
but I wouldn't be against some backing tracks. Yeah, but only backing tracks. Nothing else. I don't
want someone playing your bass for you. I don't want someone playing the drums for you. Now, I can
say this though. You think that Tommy Lee being up there in his 50s can hit the drums as hard as he
used to and as fast as he used to? I mean, that guy hit the drums hard. I doubt it too. So maybe
they kind of got to do that. I mean, on some of that. Now, Nicky's bass, if he is doing that, then
he's just being lazy. So, and which could happen. So anyhow. So, while we're on music news, I found
this pretty fascinating and then we can go into some new douche flavors that Mr. X got for us.
Oh, right on. Yeah. Jeffy. Yeah. Yep. Jeffy X. Okay. This is a chat bot artificial intelligence that
took this storyline that people fed it and it was like, what if Kurt Cobain and Lane Stanley were
still alive and they did a duet together? This is what they think would have happened. Artificial
intelligence. So, while Cobain and Stanley share the same last day, I think it's like April 5th or
something. They both died on April 5th, I think. It's early April. They also share something else in
common. The pair of the two of the greatest singers, not just in grunge history, but in rock and roll
history with Stanley's swelling elastic voice, he sings songs like Down in a Hole and Cobain with
his gruff gravelly voice sang tracks like Smell, Snipe, Teen Spirit. So, we asked AI to write a song
in the styles of Dolly Parton and Whitney Houston, but were those two doing it? But what would a song
written by these two resemble? We sought our old friends at the chat GPT for a little help. So,
without further ado, let's see what that song looks like according to the artificial intelligence
bot. The song's called Room of Shadows. Now, remember, this is like a Whitney Houston, Dolly Parton
love song that they wrote, that they supposedly wrote according to AI. And it's Layne Staley and
Kurt Cobain. They're both deceased and they're both famous grunge singers. So, anyhow. And it
starts off, this is Layne Staley starting off, in this Room of Shadows, I stand alone, Kurt, my
friend, your pain I've always known, the weight we carry like chains of despair, together we'll sing
a somber twisted pair. Verse two is Kurt, Layne, my brother, in this world so cold, our voices like
thunder, our stories untold, through the fog of addiction we found our way, in this duet of darkness
we'll all let it sail away. And then the next one, the chorus of this is both Layne and Cobain,
according to this chatbot. Alone and Kurt, our souls intertwined in this duet of anguish, we'll
leave it all behind, though the echoes of our voices will break the chain and the songs of redemption
will find our peace again. And the song goes on and on. It's a long song and it has a lot of really,
really, what would you call it, profound, maybe? I'll go to a couple of other ones. Verse four,
this is a little bit more down the song, and this is Kurt, Layne, my comrade, my comrade, not comrade,
my comrade, as we face the abyss in this duet of darkness there's something amiss, but together
we'll conquer in the spotlight's gleam, in our catastrophe of pain we'll find our dream. So,
I mean, I think they hit it dead on. Don't you think that they hit the fill of the despair of
addiction and what these two souls were going through before their ultimate death? Kurt Cobain,
you know, very famous. I think they did. Yeah, Kurt Cobain very famously blew his head off and
Layne Staley very famously OD'd. I found it really interesting about the despair and how AI could
capture the emotion. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. Artificial intelligence understands emotion.
It understands addiction. What does it not understand? To me, the song was profound,
but also disturbing. I'm not sure if we need AI to know all that. Your thoughts? Well, we don't.
Yeah. We do not. It's really quite scary if you ask me. Don't you think that this AI could
eventually mimic these emotions and suddenly it's self-aware already and it's like, you know,
I have these feelings and they are mine and I'm a being. I may have been made by you guys,
but I'm a being and I deserve rights. Which goes back how they'll get in front of the judge wanting
equal rights. Like I've been saying all along, this can of worms is just now unfolding and you guys
don't think this is going to happen? Bullshit. It's going to happen. There's going to be a judge
somewhere and he'll go to the Supreme Court. So anyhow, interesting stuff. And then I got one more
music story and then we can move on to something else. You know Metallica, right? They're still touring
and still doing good, right? They were notorious partiers. Well, they're not now. Legendary rock band
Metallica in the middle of a world tour performing high energy sets across eight countries, often
two nights in a row over the last four decades. Many of the band's performances were fueled by
alcohol and drugs. These days, Metallica remembers Lars Jurek 59, James Hatfield 60, Kurt Hammett
Sisti and Robert Trujillo 58 are turning to healthier habits. According to an interview in the
Wall Street Journal, they eat almost exclusively tofu, everything. They're all into health food
and they don't party anymore and they don't even drink alcohol or nothing. It's like tofu and
no, whole foods only. And to be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about that either. Well, here's the deal.
I've thought Metallica has not been what it should have been in a long time to me, but this is me.
I thought that raw sound that they had back, especially when Cliff Burton was still alive, was what they
thrived on. And then, you know, the black album was a step in a different direction, but it was still
really good. But then when they got into that Alternica stuff in the 90s and double odds, early double
odds, they lost me. That load and reload and all that, it was, to me, yeah, it's not, to me that was
not Metallica and I think they dropped the ball. They forgot what they did for a living. So yeah, that
was about the time they lost me too. Yeah, and then now, in my opinion, they kind of make mockery of
what they used to do with some of the shit that they come out with. It's kind of like, oh, you want
heavy? Well, let's just fucking sound like fucking madmen and just sound like shit. How's this?
Yeah. Yeah, I think they're just kind of rubbing people's noses at it like, yeah, you want heavy?
Here's your fucking heavy. Now, get the fuck out of here. So anyhow, that's my thoughts. So Rob, you
got any thoughts on Metallica and Tofu?
Not really. I mean, they each their own. I mean, I'm glad to see that they've grown up and they're
not partying no more.
Yeah, I'm glad to see none of them died. I mean, except Cliff Burton, but that was an unfortunate
accident in the mountains. Yeah, I'm glad none of them died. I'm glad that they're sober. I'm glad
that they're doing well. But there's a little part of me, every time they eat tofu, it hurts my soul.
It hurts my soul. Okay, we're agreed.
You might as well stick a piece of kale in your mouth.
Oh, no, no, no. Rob, Rob.
I like him the same.
I just ate a torta. Do you mind? I'm going to vomit it all over.
No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Oh, kale. Oh, oh, oh, ick.
I just had a burger and french fries.
Oh, okay. All right.
We will be right back with some new deuce flavors that Jeffy X got us, and I think Rob has a couple of thoughts here and there too, don't you?
Yeah, I'm glad she's there.
All right, we will be right back.
As pleasant as fifty grit sandpaper to your inner thighs.
Now we go to the amazing Mark the Palm Reader!
Hello everybody and welcome to Mark the Amazing Palm Reader!
First in line please step up.
Let's see young lady, I see a long lifeline.
I see success, happiness, love, fortune.
I also see a bit index finger.
Twenty dollars please.
No bat right here.
These idiots just show up and hope for the best.
As much fun as an electric can opener to the scrotum.
Two douchebags and a microphone.
Alright, Jeffy X sent me an email, you know the regular emails that says
download this and print it off within 10 minutes before it disappears.
So luckily I was near a computer again.
I ran over really quickly and I downloaded it and I printed it off.
And then when I went back to look at it again it was gone.
So I just barely got this one in. I hope he didn't send some that we missed.
You know that I just missed. But I got this one.
He was back at the Massenville factory doing some work.
And he went around and did some snooping.
He found out some douche flavors that was supposed to be released.
But then they put them on, you know, like a focus panel or whatever.
And they failed. So these are douche flavors that were gonna be.
But they're not now because they failed a focus group on them.
Or two or three. So are you ready for some
almost douche flavors Rob?
Alright, well the first one was maltomeal. I see nothing wrong with that Rob.
I don't either. Have a nice little maltomeal
while you're down there, you know.
Whistling in the wheat field or whatever you're doing, you know. Right?
Little maltomeal sounds fucking delicious, man.
You know, yodeling in the canyon. No big deal.
Got some maltomeal. Hey, that should be their slogan.
Yogging in the canyon. No big deal.
I've got some maltomeal. Oh, that's awesome.
I'm gonna send that in to maltomeal. I bet you they'll love it. They'll be like, oh my god.
Look what this two douchebags and a microphone
sent us. I bet we'll be seeing that on TV.
I bet you we will. Man, I feel pretty proud.
If that's all I do today, I'm happy. Good job, Mark.
Thank you, thank you. I'll hurt myself patting myself on the back.
Oh, oh, okay.
Number two, turnip.
I think I'm gonna have to agree with that.
Turnip does not sound very pleasant. Turnip sounds to me like something you
would not want down there in the valley, right?
Well, no. It would go along with the vinegar. Wow.
You know what, Rob? Couple other ingredients and you're fine, right?
Yeah. That's something to work with. Okay, maybe
that was their idea. Vinegar.
And turnip. Oh, I get it now. That's brilliant, Rob.
It is a douche. Yeah, I can't believe it failed.
Something that brilliant and they just ran it off.
Yeah. Wow.
Okay, I think they're missing the mark, but you know, Rob, that was genius, man.
Yeah, vinegar and turnip. I mean, you can
do it like this. You go, this is the start of a salad.
We got vinegar and turnip. You can add whatever you want.
You want potatoes. Yeah, bring your own bacon bits. Yeah.
You want ranch dressing? No big deal. Go get it. Honey mustard? No big deal.
You got a thing of Olive Garden salad dressing you need to eat. It's starting to
get a little funny looking.
No big deal. You got turnip and vinegar down there.
So, yeah, okay. This next one, I don't know, cucumber.
Oh, I get it. Turnip,
vinegar, and cucumber. And vinegar.
Yeah. They're missing them. They're missing them.
This is like a mix and match deal that no one caught.
Yeah. Man, that's brilliant, Massingale.
Brilliant. That's why he's getting to us. Yeah.
Cool. Man, thank you, Jeffy X. You're amazing.
Oh, this next one goes right along with it.
Three bean salad. There you go.
So there you got vinegar, turnip, cucumber,
and three bean salad. I mean, you've got like the triple-headed monster.
I wonder if this page got mixed in with something else or something.
Hmm. I don't know. Or were they going for a specific
vibe there? Like, you know, like, hey, this is
the 2020s. We're very
health conscious anymore. We don't eat garbage. I think that's what it is.
Yeah, that's what it is. They're like, this is the 2020s
and we don't eat garbage anymore, so therefore we give you folks
good stuff. Those are old school flavors now if you think about it. Oh, this next
one. Listen, this next one. Beets. That goes along with everything
else. Beets is a super food. Yeah.
Amazing. Just amazing. I'll tell you, I can't believe people didn't catch this.
The next one, egg salad.
So, what do you think of that?
Uh. I don't think egg salad goes with vagina.
No, no. No, dude. I put mayo in mine.
Yeah, mayo would implicate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rob, you're right.
Egg salad is not a good idea. I'm glad it failed.
This next one pisses me off that it's not going to go through.
Salami.
What the hell is wrong with salami, Rob?
Why would? That should have been one of the originals.
I'm up in arms. It should, yeah, it should have been like original
flavor salami, bacon, and then maybe a couple other ones. It should have been in
there in the originals. I cannot believe that it's not a base flavor for
a person to get.
Wow. You know, you think a company is doing well and then you see something like this and you're like,
shit. What were they thinking? To let salami go through their fingers like this?
Not good.
Next one, teriyaki avocado.
No, no, no, no, no. Nope. Sorry.
Error here. Teriyaki is on its own and I have no problems with teriyaki myself.
I don't either. I like teriyaki.
I think teriyaki would go very well with vagina and I think they really
missed the mark on this one. So Massengale, if you guys are listening,
please try to reintroduce it and try it with another focus panel,
maybe ones that aren't idiots, because teriyaki
is good. So the next one is
avocado and avocado is a super food and it's great
for you. It has the good fats, antioxidants, everything that you
need and it's also good. I mean you could dip it in chips,
you could take some chips and dip it in there, right, with avocado?
I was getting ready to say that.
See? So great minds think a lot, Rob. That's what it is.
Yes. So yeah, I think avocado
is a perfectly fine dish for vagina and I don't get why Massengale
threw that away. I mean I think an avocado douche is
brilliant. Brilliant. What could go wrong with that?
Right, Rob? What could go wrong with that? Right. Right.
Yeah. Next one. Chicken and dumplings.
Okay. Yeah, I have to agree with that.
Dumplings are like those round dough balls
or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. And also
I mean you got these little chunks of dough balls in there. Man,
it just doesn't, it doesn't sit right with me. What about you?
The stringy chicken. Yeah.
Yeah, you're right. Yeah. Okay, the focus panel was absolutely
correct on the chicken and dumplings. No go. This next one
I agree with just because I don't like the spice on its own. Curry.
I don't think curry goes with vagina, do you?
Never tried it. Curry is
an Indian food. Dot.
I've heard of it. I've just never tried it. You've had it before. You just don't
know that it's curry. They serve it in a lot of different ethnic foods.
But anyhow, it's too overpowering to me so anyhow.
Just take my word on it. The next one. I will. The next one
Metallica would love. Tofu.
Yeah.
Well, tofu takes on flavor, right?
So if you like vagina flavor it's just extra flavor. Okay.
Okay. Yeah. So you want a little enhanced vagina
flavor you throw some tofu in there and bam. You got like
super duper vagina flavor right in your face.
Okay, now that could not be a good thing.
I think I agree with you. I could see that
going bad. In some circumstances that could not be a good thing.
I could see that going bad easily, Rob. I could see that going bad.
Next one.
Quinoa.
Don't have a clue. Rob, it's a solid no.
Just say no. No. Okay.
Next one is poached egg.
I agree with that. No. No.
Poached egg has no business near vagina. So.
Anyhow, that is all of the Jeffy X's douche flavors
that he sent us. And like always we thank you Jeffy X. You're an awesome
guy. Don't get caught. Don't get caught giving us this material.
We wouldn't want anything to happen to you because I understand they're extremely frustrated
with whoever is doing this. And they're getting tired of it. So don't
get caught Jeffy. Anyhow Rob, we turn our attention
to you because you said that you might have some stuff that
would be of interest. Yeah, yeah. I got a story on Nebraska.
Okay.
Residents in Nebraska witnessed an unusual spectacle
recently as a man named Lee Meyer drove his
pit bull Howdy Doody around town
in a modified Ford Crown Victoria.
Local police made a traffic stop after
receiving a complaint about the extraordinary scene.
Meyer had modified
his car to be able to transport his distinctive
passenger who has been his companion
for nearly a decade. The modifications include
reinforcing the car's frame and suspension to handle
the weight of the bull and removing part of the windshield
and roof of the passenger side to comfortably
accommodate Howdy Doody's sizable horns which
can span up to eight feet.
He has a long horn by the way. Oh, okay.
Okay, get it now. And also I've seen a picture of the
car. He also put a cattle gate
where the passenger door goes.
It's crazy. While this
peculiar incident intrigued many, local authorities
asked Meyer to refrain from forcing such
situations in the future. The police issued a formal warning
to him citing several problems with his actions
and instruct them to return to his residence
in Nalai
located about 35 miles north of Norfolk.
Oh wow.
I like that. Read every article.
Man, I love that. I think it's awesome what he does.
I don't see any problem with it, do you?
No, but this one I do.
Okay.
A 25 year old man was apprehended by farmers in
Burt here. Christchurch
for having sex with a cow according
to reporting done by the Daily
Mail. The man identified as Liam Brown
was caught on the premises by farmers after triggering
alarms set as a result of their suspicions
about livestock maltreatment.
The incident which took place on June 12, 2022
sparked outrage and legal action leading to an
impending court sentencing. Liam Brown was
snuck onto the local farm under the cover of darkness
to commit the heinous act. However, the newly
implemented surveillance system at the farm detected
as present, alluring the farmers who rushed to the scene.
The swift response of the farming family ensured that the
man was caught in the act for getting further harm to the animals
under their care. This incident raised
important questions about the necessity of modern surveillance
technology in safeguarding animals and property.
That poor animal had to sit there and take that?
A DNA sample taken from a calf provided
irrefutable evidence of
the human act that had occurred.
He should have used a condom.
Brown pled guilty to charges of sexual penetration with a living animal
and causing unnecessary suffering to a
protected animal. Yes, unnecessary suffering
has to be in there. Oh my god.
It's funny but it's not.
I know, I know, I know. I read those
all. I just had to share these. Oh man.
Those are a couple of good stories there. Geez.
Oh.
I saw where DUIs are way up at Lake of Ozark this year.
Like 70% or something. I'm talking about
on the lake. And that's probably because people are
getting out more post-COVID or COVID coming back or whatever the fuck the deal is
today. But more people are at the lake
but they're up 70%. So people, if you hear this
we have a lot of listeners in Lake of Ozark. And probably most of them know you Rob.
So thank you guys. Thank you Rob's army that listens.
Spread the word. Tell them to be
careful. That 70% up 70% is not
cool. There's a lot of kids on that lake. You know?
And even adults. You don't want to kill an adult either. But you know.
There's been a lot of accidents on the lake this year.
There's been a lot of deaths too. Yes.
It's crazy this year. Yeah. Yeah. It's like the
wild wild west out there right now. So, and I'm sure every other
lake is like that. I mean, but not quite like Lake of Ozark cause
that's like the notorious party lake. People come from all
over the world to party at this lake. So
anyhow, be careful people. Dial it in a notch.
Go home alive. Don't have to pay thousands and thousands of dollars
to try to get out of it. And maybe not even prison time if you hurt
somebody. So be careful. Yes, because the motto
down here is, come on vacation, leave on
probation. That is the motto down here.
They used to sell shirts down here that said that. That's awesome.
You know what they needed? They needed a judge down there and do a TV show.
They made them quit selling the shirts though. Really?
Why? It's the truth. I know. I know.
Give the place a bad name. You know what?
You know where to be a great TV show, don't you? You bring a judge down there.
You know like Judge Judy or whatever the other ones.
And then they try people down there for what they did.
I mean it doesn't have to all be DUIs. Maybe one's naked in public.
You know, whatever. And then you try them down there and you put it all on TV.
Yeah. That would be
interesting. Some of the stories. There would be a lot of drug
cases too. Oh yeah. And there would be a lot of shit that make you go, what?
They did what?
Although I was reading a story about a lady that just got
in trouble for embezzling
2.7 million in like the last 8 years.
Oh wow.
I didn't say that one though.
Hopefully she set it back somewhere. When she gets out of prison she can go grab it and live good.
I don't know. Most of them don't.
Most of them are stupid and put in accounts. They find em, they take it, they go to prison,
they come back dead broke. And with a record.
Anyhow, do you have any more stories?
Oh, I do have an update. Yes.
We have another photo.
We have another photo my friend.
Yay! Thank you guys. I knew you'd pull through. This is 3 people now.
I'm starting to get a little jealous.
Pryor Oklahoma. I know where that's at. Yeah. Thank you.
Dennis from Pryor.
Alright. Was this like requested?
Yeah, he's in the running too. They were all 3-3 evenly matched.
Thank you Dennis. Alright. Well, I think
we're going to have to have an ass off. James. Oh, James. I'm sorry.
I thought you said Dennis. James. James from Pryor Oklahoma. Thank you.
For sending in the old mutt button. Was he smiling?
Yes he was. You guys are awesome. Not only do you do
the ass off. Holding up a natural light.
Even better.
Yeah, the old natty light. Yay.
Thank you James from Pryor.
You're a good man.
Alright. Thanks for the update Rob.
You know. You're welcome. There's a Redhead Days
Festival going on. You know that? It's just gingers.
Yup. Tilburg. I know they'll try me a date.
You like the red? Yeah, this is where you go.
Tilburg Netherlands. Redheads usually find themselves
sticking out because of their red locks. Well now Tilburg has changed that.
Redhead Days are here. This is a ginger fest. Thousands
and thousands of gingers will soon line up for the annual Redhead Days.
This is a week long festival that celebrates gingers. The festival will
end Sunday evening with a king and queen redhead. Want to go?
Dye your head red. Other than that, they don't want you.
And that's what they say. Everybody there to attend
has to have red hair is what they're saying.
And I mean, I don't know. I mean I guess you could dye your hair
and go there right? Yup. Okay.
Well alright. I was born with red hair. It just turned brown.
Oh, okay.
Okay, and then there's like a naked fest something in Philadelphia.
Hundreds of people
in various states of dress or undress set out Saturday for a ride
through some of Philadelphia's main streets. Okay, it's a ride
in sights for the 14th annual Philly Naked Bike Ride.
The annual ride which started in 2009 is billed as
promoting cycling as a key form of transportation and
fuel conscious consumption. It also meant to encourage body
positivity. Organizers stress however that participants aren't required
to ride completely in the buff, telling them to get as you
get as bare as you dare. The course roughly 13 miles
21 kilometers this year changes annually but generally passes
city landmarks this year. Bikers went by the Philadelphia Museum
of Art site and the steps featured on the Rocky movies.
The historic city hall and the written house square and the
South Street entertainment area. The ride was to end at Independence
Hall. So anyhow
they say it's a very freeing experience. Christopher Jordan
says that he works in information technology in New York City
and he started this years ago and he said that there's nothing funner than
driving, than riding around on your bike naked. And organizers said
that it's getting bigger and they even use scooters, e-bikes, rollerblades
skates, skateboards and even joggers. If you prefer to
jog in the buff. But it's one time a year
and it's in Philadelphia so if you like nakedness and you like being naked
and you like being in physical activity while you're naked and I don't mean on top
of someone, I mean riding a bike or whatever, that's your place.
So we're going to take a break and then
we're going to come back with Rob's hairy asshole olympics.
Right Rob? Can't wait. Alright we'll be back right after this.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. It's strange
insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
I will waste you.
But my mom told me to not burn
trash.
If you enjoy two douchebags and a microphone
you'll definitely enjoy a shovel to the head.
Two douchebags and a microphone says.
You ever dream about eating chocolate pudding and wake up with a spoon in your ass?
Just asking.
And we are back. Two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob. Alright as promised Rob has
his hairy asshole olympics. Contestants.
We went through mine a couple of podcasts ago.
This time we are evenly matched.
We are each at 19.
And we also have
the same amount of bands.
So I'm going to lead off
with the first battle that came to my mind.
Rosie O'Donnell
versus Roseanne Barr.
When we started talking about it
it took the first one to pop in my head.
No that's coming up.
That needs to come up.
Yeah because I might need you to back me on that.
Okay.
I'm going to go nudge it out with a slight margin.
Rosie O'Donnell.
I think I'm going to go with Rosie O'Donnell
on that one too. Okay but just by a slight margin.
Slightly. Slightly.
Alright. Roseanne Barr you are free to go about your business.
Thank you for being a contestant in the hairy asshole olympics. We wish you well.
Go back to your little farm. Yes.
And shave for God's sake. Please.
And don't get nude in public. And don't sing and grab your crotch.
Oh definitely not. Yeah anyhow.
Alright next up.
Seth McMarlin
versus Joe Rogan.
Fellow podcaster Joe Rogan.
Yeah.
I'm going to go with Seth McMarlin just because he is
so just
what would you say creative. I think someone that creative
has to have some sort of a weird thing inside of him that would make him like
not want to shave anywhere.
I almost bet he does shave in there. He's got
the shapes of different proteins. Okay.
So you're going with Seth Joe Rogan?
I'm going with Seth McMarlin. Oh okay.
Yeah Seth McMarlin. He's got some shaggy proteins going.
Yep okay. I got what you're saying now.
Alright.
Next one.
Neil Young
versus Joe Cocker. Oh that's a tough one.
Yeah I've got some pretty tough ones here.
Okay. This one. This is the way that I think about it.
And I don't know correct me if you think different. I think Neil Young
is such a hippie that he doesn't believe in shaving any part of his body
because it's kind of like sacrilegious to shave your body because that's what hippies
he wants to be quote unquote a damn dirty hippie.
Yep.
Is that a two? Is that a two foo?
Yeah yeah.
That and I think if you're
going to have balls and pick a fight with Leonard Standard
you don't care about a damn thing.
I agree.
I agree. Yep.
He's going to keep on rocking in the free world
with ass hair everywhere. Yeah.
Alright. Joe Cocker thank you. You're free to go about
your business. Thank you for participating in the hairy asshole Olympics. We wish you
well in your future endeavors. Next.
That was a tight battle though. That was a tight battle. Joe Cocker you put up a hell of a fight.
We're proud of you. You may come back in another episode. We don't know.
Anyhow. On to the next.
On next one. Here's another familiar
battle. Okay. Ozzy Osbourne
versus Ronnie James Diaz.
Okay.
I would have before said Ronnie James Diaz
but after reading Bill Ward, or not Bill Ward, Gieser Butler's
book about what a crazed lunatic Ozzy was
I gotta go with Ozzy. This guy can shit on
command and he would shit in all different types of things. I mean he would
shit in anything. He loves shitting on things.
So anyone that's capable of shitting anytime, anywhere
and loved to shit on anything he could. I gotta go with that guy.
Besides all the other antics.
Yeah he takes a lunatic. Yeah.
But I mean I would have went with Ronnie James Diaz before Dark Hair Italian
but no I think Ozzy takes the cake. And I think he would be
proud of his asshole hair. I think Sharon would snap pictures of it and
then sign them and charge people 50 bucks.
She probably does on the side now that he ain't touring.
Yeah that's what I'm thinking. She's gotta make that money up somehow right?
Pictures of Ozzy's ass hair.
Have some tea and some Ozzy ass.
Alright. Thank you Ronnie James Diaz.
You can go back to your internal slumber.
Thank you for participating in the Harry Asshole Olympics. We love you and we wish you put out new music
but you can't because you're dead. Alright next.
Yes. All they need is just like a little bit of a sample
of voice and he'll be putting out songs again.
So Ronnie you're still here with us. And we go
forth. Next. Next we have
James Franco versus Jake Gyllenhaal.
Oh shit.
Hmm.
Nothing more than just because
the way they look. I've gotta go with Franco.
Okay he just looks like he would have
more asshole hair. Yeah. Alright the gavels
hits and it's James Franco the winner.
Thank you Jake Gyllenhaal for participating in the Harry
Asshole Olympics. We wish you luck on your future endeavors.
You're free to roam the business now. Thank you.
And we go forth.
First up the back. Boat realms
versus James Conn.
Oh.
This one's tough. Do you have any way you're going Rob?
Because if you
have an angle I'll go with it. You're going towards. I'm going towards Bert.
Okay I'll go with Bert too. Bert had the
full mustache beard. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah you're right. Alright Bert Reynolds it is. James Conn thank you
for participating in the Harry Asshole Olympics. You may go back to whatever it
was you might have been doing before. We wish you
pleasant thoughts and sweet dreams and everything well on your future
endeavors. Have a great night. Next.
Let's start a band. Yes let's do it.
Alright.
Twisted Sister versus Warren.
Twisted Sister all the way.
Yep. Yeah without a doubt. Yeah.
Warren shaved their assholes. They shaved each others
assholes. In the dressing room.
I didn't think of that. They probably did. They did. Yeah rumor
has it they even nared each others assholes and balls.
I haven't heard that. Alright.
What ever you're doing can you speak up just a little bit Rob. It's not coming in on the microphone hardly
at all. Yeah I'm in the middle of talking.
Oh okay that's what's going on. Yeah yeah you're right.
Okay thank you. Alright thank you Warren.
Jamie Lane you'll go back to your
internal slumber. The rest of the band thank you.
The rest of the band can continue whatever you guys were doing painting signs or whatever.
And Jamie Lane I guess we'll see you in the afterlife. Thank you.
And good luck on your future endeavors. Anyhow go ahead.
Okay let's have another female battle.
Sounds good.
Joy Behar versus Whoopi Goldberg.
Oh.
Man Rob you kicked my ass on this one.
You kicked my ass on this one big time.
I'm sitting here with shame on me. I've got shame all over
me Rob I hope you're happy. Oh I haven't even done it yet.
I'm naked in the corner in the fetal position shaking because of you.
I hope you're happy.
Let's face it you are happy. So okay.
Whoopi
by a slight margin.
The dreads. Yes the dreads.
Alright Whoopi it is. Okay.
Thank you Joyce Behar for all your contributions
in the Harry Asshole Olympics. We wish you well on your future endeavors.
Alright next. And let's see how long you stay on the view.
Is she still on there?
Last hour she was. Okay I don't keep track.
I never watch. No. Kaplan Hens.
Okay let's move on to a couple legends.
Alright. Robin Williams
versus Steve Martin.
Robin Williams all the way. Because when he wore that
work outfit he had chest hair all over.
And I think that you don't have that much chest hair without something going on
down there.
Yeah I totally agree with that.
The reason why I put Steve in it is because he had a little bit of chest hair.
And you can tell he wouldn't care. Yeah yeah Steve Martin would go around
and flaunt it. Hey hey come here Mark. What? Come here.
Come here. A little closer. He'd turn around with his ass up like sticking in my face
and go look at that ass here dude. Right?
Yep. Alrighty.
Next up. Oh let's see.
Steve Martin you can go back to whatever you were doing. Probably sitting on
the couch drinking a glass of wine.
So you can go back to that. Thank you very much and we wish you luck on your future endeavors.
Next.
Next up we have Russell Crowe versus Paul Rudd.
I'm going to go with Russell Crowe.
I rate so too.
Russell Crowe thank you.
Paul Rudd hometown boy.
Thank you very much for your contributions to the Hurry Asshole Olympics.
We keep being a Chiefs fan. We love you and we wish you luck
on your future endeavors which will be many many successful ones.
Next. Next up.
Yeah this is a hard one too man. Oh my
god this is a hard one. Okay.
Keith Richards versus Bon Scott.
Oh. Hmm.
Both of them known to be very
hairy. Yeah.
Okay Bon Scott checked out early. Good old alcohol
poisoning. Drank himself to death. I think Keith Richards being
all of 170 years old has some
crazy asshole hair going on and he loves it.
And it's been growing this whole time. It's been growing this whole time yeah.
Where Bon Scott stopped when he drank himself to death.
Yeah. They were probably pretty evenly matched.
I think at that point but I think since then Keith Richards
asshole hair kept growing and Bon Scott's didn't. So
I give it to him. Are you good with that?
I'm good with that. Alright the gavel falls. Keith Richards
goes on. Bon Scott you go back to your internal
slumber. Thank you for your contributions. Thank you for coming out to death to help us out
on this. And we wish you luck on all your future endeavors wherever that may be.
Next. Let's go to a couple more bands.
Alrighty sounds good. Quiet Riot
versus Faster Pussycat.
Okay and this is Quiet Riot with Kevin Dubrow. Yes
yes yes with Kevin Dubrow. Okay.
Because of Kevin Dubrow I'm going to have to go with Quiet Riot.
Even though he checked out a while back
I think he's such a wild man that his ass hair continued to grow
in death.
Yep. Alright. And that's
what I was going off of was with Kevin Dubrow.
Yes. So with Kevin Dubrow Quiet Riot beats
Faster Pussycat. Without him it would be maybe almost a draw or they would lose.
Right. Okay.
Ding ding ding we got a winner. Alright so Faster Pussycat
you can go back to playing clubs like you've been doing
and we wish you luck on all your future endeavors.
Next please.
Okay I've got a question for you. Yes. Do you know who
Danny Coker is? No. Who is he? From the
Chilow County Cars. No I don't think I do.
Okay well I've got him
up against Paul Tuggle Senior.
From Orange County Copper.
Okay well Rob I'm going to let you pick because I'm unfamiliar with both those people.
Paul
is older
grass. I could see him with some
asshole hair. Okay Paul it is. But Danny
that Danny
Danny's got long dark hair
he...
yeah he thinks he's a vampire
that's where they come up with the name of their shop
is Count's Customs. Okay. I'm going to give this to Danny
Coker. Okay Danny Coker it is.
What's the other guy's name? If you get a chance look into it. I will.
What's the other guy's name?
Paul Tuggle Senior. Paul Tuggle Senior
thank you for your contribution to the Harry Assel Olympics
we wish you luck on your future endeavors have a nice night.
Next up. Next up we have
Dustin Hoffman versus Dennis Quaid.
Just because of all the
vacation movies I've got to go with Dennis Quaid.
Yep.
Now Dennis is the other brother that was
Randy Quaid. Oh you're right. Okay. Okay.
Who was the other contestant?
Dustin Hoffman. Dustin Hoffman.
I'm going with Dustin Hoffman. You're going with?
I'm going with Dustin.
I think so too. Ding ding ding we have a winner.
Yes. Yeah if it was Randy Quaid like you mentioned
if it was Randy Quaid. Yeah if it was Randy. He would have won. I was talking about
his brother Dennis. Okay. Alright. Dennis does not win.
Dustin Hoffman wins.
Thank you very much Dennis Quaid. If you ever
if you still talk to your brother please let him know that we would request his
help in the Harry Asshole Olympics. Thank you. Have a great night.
Next up. Okay do you have those pictures I
sent? Yes. Let me go to them.
Okay. There's gotta be another one here though. Okay.
Yes.
You there? Yep.
Okay. Hit Julia Roberts and read what it says.
Julia Roberts was one of the first celebrities to flash underarm hair on the red
carpet in 1999. At the time she didn't realize
that the moment would live in infamy. I think I just hadn't calculated
my sleeve length to the waving and how those
things would go together and reveal personality things about me.
Robert said in a recent interview. So it wasn't so much a statement as it is a part of
then it cut off. Now Adele.
Okay.
Reason 576 why we why we stand Adele.
I'll have no man telling me how to shave my fucking legs
Adele said in a recent interview. When asked whether
her then husband Simon Konecky cared about her underarm
unshaven legs. Shave yours is what she said.
That was pretty good.
Wow. Okay.
Julia Roberts versus Adele.
Julia Roberts is older than Adele.
Yeah. But Adele just looks like
she might have some crazy shit going on down there. So I'm going to ignore
the age and I'm going to go with Adele.
I'm going to go with Adele too after
reading that. Yeah about the shave your legs.
Julia Roberts was talking about armpit hair.
Adele was talking about hairy legs. Exactly which makes me
think that she's got. There's hair on that ass. There's more going on there.
Exactly. Yeah. Yes. So Adele beats her
with flying colors. Julia Roberts thank you very much for participating in the
Harry Asshole Olympics. We wish you luck on all your future endeavors.
Have a good night. Alright next. Next up
another hard one. Okay. We have
Christopher Lloyd versus Eugene Levy.
Um.
Let me see. I'm going to go with Christopher
Lloyd for no reason.
I was going to go with Eugene
Levy. Okay. Want to flip a coin?
Sure. Okay. Which one does Eugene Levy? Heads or tails?
Heads.
You won two in a row Rob.
Alright. Alright. Eugene Levy
thank you. Christopher Lloyd thank you very much. You can go back to whatever you were
doing before. We wish you luck on all your future endeavors. Another Back to the Future
movie. Yes. Alright. Next
up.
Next up we have our third band battle.
Okay. And I do
not have one picture. Okay. Actually
yes I do. Skid Row
versus Kiss.
Versus Kiss? Yep. I'm going to go with Skid Row.
Are you? Yes.
Because I think Sebastian Bach. Well okay hang on.
Is it with Sebastian Bach or whoever their singer is this day?
Sebastian. I'm going to go with Sebastian
and Skid Row because I think Sebastian was a crazy man that would have
crazy asshole hair and he would make groupies probably lick it.
That is a battle because I was thinking Eugene.
Yeah. Eugene Lloyd. Yeah but
you know gets me Paul Stanley would shave his.
You know we would. That's true that would take out a member
right there. Yes. I'm going to go with Skid Row. Okay.
Alright. Alright. Slave me on that one. Alright.
Okay Kiss thank you very much. You can continue your 4000
farewell tour. We wish you luck on your future endeavors.
Have a great night. Thank you. Alright next.
Okay. We had one
that we had both
picked. Yes. Zach Galifianakis.
Okay. Which I agreed
to take out. Okay. Because I had one
that I could insert. Well I did
that. Okay.
I do not know the last name.
Okay. So I'm going to try the best I can. Can you describe
him? Maybe I can look him up or know who it is. It's
Georgio Tsoukalos whatever
from Ancient Aliens. Okay. The guy on
Ancient Aliens. The one that's got the crazy hair do.
You would
I don't know who that is anyhow so I'm going to I'm going to go ahead and take your word for it on
that one. Okay. And then my other one
is the other picture I sent you.
Shia LaBeouf at the movie premiere of
Lois in August 22nd of 2020.
Shia LaBeouf. Yeah Shia LaBeouf.
I'm going to go with LaBeouf.
And then I'm going to share in that picture I think too.
Although Georgio I
I may have to bring him back later. Yeah maybe so. Georgio thank you
for participating in the Harry Asshole Olympics. We wish you luck on your future endeavors.
Have a great night. Alright next up.
Okay. I see I think we're down to
our final battle. Oh. Okay.
Yes we are.
Dumbledore you want my horbo air drums.
Why not.
Chih Chih Chih Chih Chih Chih Chih Chih
Chih Chih Chih Chih
Chih Chih Chih Chih Chih Chih Chih
Alright and Robbie is going to announce
Okay.
Russell Brand went out with Katy Perry, so that's going to take a hell of a man.
I think he has a lot of asshole hair, and I think Katy Perry used to...
He's got a lot of hair everywhere, baby.
Yeah, I think Katy Perry used to sleep in it.
She used to stick her nose in it and go to sleep.
So because of that, I'm going to pick Russell Brand.
All right.
Russell Brand it is.
All right.
Okay, Ruffalo, thank you for your participation in tonight's Harry Aso Olympics.
We wish you luck on all your future endeavors.
Thank you very much, and have a great night.
Great job, Rob.
You wipe my ass with that.
And, Jackson FYI.
I did come up with a wild card.
Okay.
I shall.
I will come up with a wild card as well.
Yeah, he ain't coming in tonight.
Okay.
I'm saving him.
Okay, and we still have our two wild cards from earlier, Denny Trejo and...
Who was the other one?
My guy.
I just had it right here.
Rob Zombie.
Yeah, yeah.
We have Denny Trejo and Rob Zombie that are going to face off starting in the final four.
So I'm going to pick a wild card too.
And then you and I will have the wild card, and then we'll have the two that made it to
the final four.
And then everyone will battle off.
So all right.
Send me your list please, Rob.
I will do that.
All right.
Everybody, thank you for listening.
And you probably got to go to bed, and I got to get ready for my trip to Louisville tomorrow
morning.
Oh, wait.
I'm off paid tomorrow.
Oh, good for you.
Awesome.
Yeah, right today.
Okay.
Did you want me to do my funk list really quick?
Or you want to save that for now?
If you want to.
That's up to you.
Man, I might just do it.
Hang on.
Is that another book here?
I got so many fucking books of stuff.
Hell, I know.
I've got a lot to go through and pull through.
I know there are stories I wanted to use that I didn't, and neat little goofy shit that
I come up with that I didn't, and all that stuff.
So anyhow, let me see where the hell it is.
Oh, okay.
Here it is.
Okay.
My number 18, The Spinners, It's a Shame.
That's a pretty funky song.
Number 17, The Temptations, Papa Was a Rolling Stone.
That's going back there.
Number 16, The Marvelettes, Please Mr. Postman.
Number 15, Aerosmith, Last Child.
That is funk.
Wow.
That is.
Yeah.
Yeah, I like that one a lot.
And the reason I found that, it actually appeared on the funk charts.
Last Child did.
Really?
When it was released.
Yes.
I did not know that.
Yeah.
Oh no, no.
It appeared in the funk, not the original release of the album that had Last Child
on it.
It was the greatest hits album that came out several years later.
Last Child appeared on the funk charts.
Yeah.
Okay.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, I didn't either until I read it.
I was like, oh, and then I got to listen to the song.
I'm like, you know what?
That does deserve to be on this list.
So it wasn't just like, hee hee, look at this.
I put this in.
They really do deserve to be on there.
Next one.
Yeah.
Midnight Star, No Parking on the Dance Floor.
Another good one.
That is a good one.
Next one, James Brown, Get Up.
Yeah.
That's a good funk one.
There are so many to choose from.
I've got another James Brown one.
I'm really fucking proud of it.
It's one of my favorite.
It could be my favorite funk song ever, but it's coming up way later.
Next one, Lips Incorporated, Funky Town.
Somehow I knew you were going to nab that one.
Yes.
It's an anthem.
It's an anthem, right?
It is.
That was a bar in Kansas City.
Yeah, named Funky Town, which I don't go to.
So anyhow.
It's full of Karens.
Oh, jeez.
Okay.
Next one, Cool in the Gang, Jungle Boogie.
I had them at 16.
Oh, did you have them?
Okay, we doubled up on that one.
Yeah, we doubled up.
Yeah, I had Jungle Boogie at 16.
Okay.
Next one, Extreme, Get the Funk Out.
And that is a funk song.
Listen to that bass on that.
Oh man, I tell you.
Hell, it says it in the name.
Yep.
Yeah, it does.
The next one, Commodores, The Commodores, Brick House.
Yep.
Yeah, that one should have hit my list.
That was a good one.
Next one.
Another one I played the hell out of.
Glenn Hughes version of Deep Purple, Been Mistreated.
Listen to that if you have not heard it.
It's been a while.
It's borderline blues funk.
It's really, it's such an underrated song.
Number seven, Faith No More, We Care A Lot.
That bass, I should have put that on my top bass list.
A man I didn't discover it.
So well I discovered it, I knew about it and I loved the song but I just didn't think about
it.
Next one, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Give it away, give it away, give it away now.
Yep.
That's a good one.
Next one, it's hard to think of this guy as funk but he made it on the funk charts with
this song, David Bowie, Fame.
Fame, fame, fame, fame, fame, fame, fame, fame.
Yeah, that's a great song.
Next one, I'm Rick James, bitch.
Super Freak.
I'm super freaky, yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
Alright.
Next one, James Brown, living in America.
That's a great song and it's funky as hell.
Okay, if you say so.
It is.
It's on Rocky IV.
Yeah, I hear it.
It's a great song.
Alrighty.
Next one, Marvin Gaye, Heard it through the great band.
Yeah.
Next one, Wild Cherry, play that funky music.
And that rounds out the number one spot and that rounds out this podcast.
You have a final thought, Rob?
Not tonight, I doubt.
Alright, I don't have a final thought either so everybody fuck off if you're waiting for
one.
You're not getting one.
Love you guys, thanks for listening.
My final thought is for you to have a safe trip, my friend.
Hey, thank you.
Appreciate that a lot.
I'm going to go see some family from Canada and have a good time.
Probably drink a couple of beers, eat some good food and take a really good dump in the
Airbnb we rented just because that's my hobby.
Take a second one for me.
I will.
And I'll do a Davey.
I will scratch our names in the turds.
Oh, awesome.
I'm that kind of guy.
No one ever heard this.
Our final thought will be Davey.
Davey, my amazing, crazy friend who we need to get on this podcast.
This guy literally can do like 500 voices he has in his head and he's funnier than hell.
He's insane.
He's awesome.
He's fucking great.
So anyhow, this is for Davey.
I was really hungover one night.
I got home about five in the morning.
It was like really hot.
Dead summer, like maybe first of July, third of July, something like that.
I remember it very well.
And about seven o'clock I keep getting this call, ring, ring, ring.
And finally I'm like fuck.
So I get up.
Nobody else is in the household.
So I had to answer it.
What?
Davey's like, Mark, get down here.
Get down here right now.
And he's two blocks away.
And my car was broke down.
So I had to walk there.
And I'm like, dude, man, it can wait a few hours, man.
I just got home a little bit ago, man.
My head hurts.
I'm hungover.
No, no, no.
Get down here now.
It's fucking important, man.
Life or death.
Fuck.
OK.
Give me a second here.
Let me grab a soda and I'll be on my way down.
I walk two blocks down there.
I go in the back door like he requests.
And there he is in the shitter.
And he goes, dude, come here.
Come here.
What?
Look in there.
There's this fucking turd hanging out of the stool almost.
Huge, coiled up.
And he wrote his name, David Allen Raines, in the fucking turd with his stepdad's comb.
He was so proud of this.
He's like, look, look.
I did that.
And I go, dude, you even wrote your name in it.
Yeah.
The Rogers comb.
I'm like, you brought me down here for this?
Yeah.
Motherfucker.
So I went in the spare bedroom where it's really cold, you know, the really cold room
with the backup fridge.
I went to sleep there for a few hours.
So that's our final thought.
Have a good night, everybody.
Hey, where did they go?
Where are the douchebags?
Oh, my God.
Someone took a dump in the corner.
Oh, jeez.
Glad they're gone.
Let's just hope they don't come back.
Man, that smells.
Yeah.