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Hello everybody, Two Boosh Bags and Microphone. I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
Alright.
Okay Rob, we're talking off air just a minute after getting done with the first podcast tonight.
You have a special request?
Yes.
Well, you mentioned that you were going to start off the Harry Ass Battle.
The Harry Ass Olympics Part 2.
Yes.
But...
Here's the thing.
Okay.
I have one request.
And here is the reason for my request.
Okay.
Because in Harry Ass Olympics 1, you brought in a wild card and I did not.
Yeah, you still have a wild card. I know that.
Yes.
Okay, okay. Well, here's my wild card.
Okay.
I want first pick.
Okay.
Because I am that confident on my person. I think they're going to win the whole thing.
Really?
Yes.
Okay, then let me ask you a question. Do you want to do the Harry Asshole Olympics tonight?
And then you bring in your first pick?
I don't have a couple of the others ready. I just have that one.
Okay.
Well, I have a few others just running out to start.
Okay, here. I know what to do here.
I've been working on other projects.
I know. You told me last night. Okay.
Now you got me on listen to funk.
Listen to this, Rob. Okay, here's how we're going to do this. Okay.
Okay. Rob Rad is going to put in his wild card right now versus everybody that I'm going to come up with a little bit later in this broadcast.
So, Rob Rad, your wild card is...
Okay. Okay. But then you're going to have to shoot me your list because I'm not going to sit down here and write down your list.
I'll shoot you the list.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we'll get it from there.
Okay. Okay, so...
Okay. Right now, Rob Rad's number one pick in Harry Ass Battle number two, Mr. Rob Zombie.
He's on my list. Shit.
Here, I'll give you that.
Yes. Okay, hang on.
That's why I'm number one.
Listen to it. He's already on my list.
But listen, Denny Trejo versus Rob Zombie is who I have.
Is that not a fucking battle royale?
Dude, that'd be a final.
Yes.
That would be a final.
Okay, then let's take Denny Trejo and Rob Zombie and let's make more than one wild card.
Denny Trejo will be my wild card and Rob Zombie will be yours and they'll be entered into the final four.
Okay.
But they won't battle each other.
All right.
So we'll put Rob Zombie and Denny Trejo against the final four and then if it's those two that make it, then they'll battle royale in the final.
Sound good?
Rob Zombie and...
Denny Trejo.
Gotcha.
That's a hell of a battle there, isn't it?
I'm excited for the Asshole Olympics. This is good.
So...
Final...
Listen, I'm so happy over this.
Four. Right on.
Yeah, I got some others coming too.
Okay.
All right.
Mine ain't gonna be tonight though.
Okay.
All right.
I've got this new...
Well, there's several new segments that I come up with here.
But you know, like the what if a Hollywood star or singer, somebody famous, wasn't famous, what do they look like they would do?
This is the other one.
Doesn't it suck when?
Okay.
And what this was...
Remember Mad Magazine?
Yeah.
Alfred E. Newman on the front with the big ears and all that.
Well, they did books.
That was a lot of my childhood, man.
They did books.
A lot of my childhood.
Yeah, me too.
They did books. Of course you know this, right?
They had books like Spy vs. Spy.
Well, when I was a kid, I was in the comic store or actually it was like I think at TGNY.
And I found this mad book and it's called the Mad Book of...
I bet it was in Belton.
No.
I just killed one.
I went to that one plenty of times, the one in Belton, yes.
But this was the one in Northeast Kansas City.
Oh, okay.
But anyhow, it doesn't matter.
So the Mad Book of Bummers was fucking awesome.
And this is what this stuff is.
It's Bummers, but I'm deciding to call it Doesn't It Suck When?
So one of the ones that was in this book was there's this kid and his grandma is going,
You're not leaving this house until you eat your hot oatmeal, kid.
And he goes, but it's 98 degrees outside.
Then she goes, Don't try to change the subject, Smarty.
So that was stuff like that, you know, like your grandma's trying to get you to eat a hot oatmeal
and you're like, Gwen, it's too hot to eat a hot oatmeal.
It's 98 degrees.
And then she goes, Well, don't try to change the subject.
So, you know, it's stuff like that, stuff that was Bummers.
So this is what it is.
It's Doesn't It Suck When?
And so, all right, this is my first example.
Doesn't it suck when?
You are crazy thirsty from the heat.
And OK, let me let me let me start off and saying this happened to me a couple of years ago.
And then I started keeping track of it. OK.
OK, me and Davey were in Nashville watching the Dead Daisies and it was hotter than hell.
It was like 98 degrees.
And him and I went up on the pedestrian bridge, right?
And and it was just all concrete and we're just like baking out there.
And then we go ahead because the scooters died halfway.
They wouldn't let you go over the bridge.
So there's like the scooter pile is like pile of dead scooters there.
And so we walked up to the bridge, walked all the way across the bridge and came back.
And we're dying of thirst.
So we go into the closest bar we could find.
We sit down and me and him drank like five glasses of water.
And the lady, instead of refilling the the water glass that we have, she just bring us another one.
And then we we drank a couple of beers after we drank like five waters.
Then Davey went up to to go to the bathroom and the lady would bring us the stuff on time and everything.
But all the glasses were on the table and had people come by staring at me like, oh my God, that guy's an alcoholic or I'm a glutton.
Depending on what's on the glasses.
There's like 20 glasses there and only me sitting there.
And that is one of my don't you hate it when some go into it.
OK, when you're crazy, when you're crazy thirsty from the heat, you go into a restaurant and slam a Pepsi and four waters.
The waitress is excellent and promptly gets you the drinks in record time,
but leaves all the empty glasses on the table, making you look like an alcoholic or a glutton to all the passerbys.
And it does.
People people double take they walk by and they go, fuck is that guy doing with all those glasses?
Oh, my God, man. Did he drink all those drinks or is those all sodas?
What the hell? It really makes you look like it.
Like, I don't know.
And either either an alcoholic or a slob.
So you'll notice it now that I said something you walk by and you go, my God, there's one person there and there's 30 glasses.
He drank all them.
Oh, my God.
So the next one is, don't you? Doesn't it suck when you go to buy a box of cookies, but the only box left has an open flap.
But all the cookies are intact.
But you have to buy the box only because it's the only one left and you hate it because the box is open.
You don't feel like it's worth enough, right?
It's not worth full price, but they're not going to let you buy it for for like, I don't know, a discounted price because there's nothing wrong with the cookie.
There's nothing wrong with the cookies in it.
But you want the cookies.
So, you know, you're like, oh, shit, well, I guess I'm going to buy this defective box with the cookies in it.
So to me, that sucks.
So next one, doesn't it suck when you're in the turning lane behind you and when you're in the turning lane and behind you, someone honks at a slow old lady and everyone gives you the stink eye because they think it's you bullying the old woman.
And actually, it was the car behind you.
I've had that happen a few times.
You know, you're in the turning lane and the lady in front of you can't see and she's all hunched over the steering wheel.
It's going really slow and some dickhead behind me starts honking and everybody looks at you like you did it.
And they're like, man, what a dickhead.
Can't you see she's old?
She can't see the road.
Leave her alone, asshole.
And there's no way of explaining to everybody, man, I didn't fucking do it.
It's the guy behind me.
But everybody thinks it's you because that's the car that they see around in the corner when someone honks.
So, yep.
Next one, doesn't it suck when you find a $50 gift card in your wallet that hasn't been used, but it's expired by one day.
And that happened to me the other day.
I was like, oh, I forgot I got this for my birthday.
Then I look on it and it is like, oh, shit, it's expired by one day.
So I couldn't use it.
It's $50 or like, I don't know.
I think it might have been Texas Roadhouse or something.
And I was like, shit, damn it.
Yeah.
So, yep, it sucks when that happens.
Doesn't it suck when you are barreling towards a stoplight, the light is turning yellow, the guy in front of you goes just fast enough for him to clear the light,
but places you two feet away from a homeless beggar while you devour your double cheeseburger, looking him right in the face.
You ever have that happen?
No, I haven't.
Oh, it sucks because there you are all comfy in your car, Erickon is your blast.
He's out there sweating his nuts off in the heat.
And there you are slamming down a double cheeseburger.
And he's like two feet away from you, staring at you.
And it's like, thanks a lot, asshole in front of me.
If you went a little bit faster, I wouldn't be stuck in this position.
So doesn't it suck when you accidentally friend request a person you can't stand or an old boss?
And I've had that happen before, an old boss that I hated.
And you fumble your phone and then the next thing you know, you say, oh my God, I didn't friend request him.
Shit, he's going to think I want to talk to him.
Oh, fuck.
You're trying to unravel it, but you can't.
All you can do is undo the request.
But by that time, it's too late.
They'll always seem that you tried to friend request him.
And it's like, no, damn it.
I've had that happen and it sucks.
Have you ever had that happen?
No, but that's when I would say, oh shit.
Sorry, I just had a news break flash come across my phone.
What is it?
I'll tell you, let me read into it.
See, now I lost where I was going with that.
We were talking about accidentally.
It has some of these Chris Jones.
Oh.
OK.
They probably signed him now that we motherfucked him.
No, I'm not listening to it.
OK.
Doesn't it suck when a friend laughs before the punchline of your joke and says, man, that's hilarious,
which indicates he never was listening to you in the first place and feels like patronizing you as well.
That does suck.
Yeah, I've had that happen before.
And it's like, I didn't get to punchline and you're telling me how fucking brilliant it is.
You're not even listening.
So about that time, I just walk away.
I'm like, I got to go.
I got stuff to do.
Kind of ruins it.
All right.
Yeah, see, yeah.
See, when I'm not listening to you, I'm reading news stories so I can talk about them.
OK.
No, that's fine.
That's cool.
I don't have any complaints.
It's fine.
Hold on.
I'm going to look up Chris Jones.
I'll give you our time.
Let's see.
Chris, I've got two more to go to, but.
Oh, the chief signed him.
Oh, that's what I'm starting to read here.
OK, well, now that we gave it, he's still getting his ass paddling.
OK, doesn't it suck when you're in the break room at work and a coworker walks by and crop
dust you then quickly takes off, leaving you the sole blame when someone else walks in?
I've had that happen.
So walk by real quick and they just fucking blast went out and it stinks to high hell.
And then another person walks in and there you are alone in the break room and they look
at you like that fucker just shit his pants.
And I got to sit here and smell it.
And actually, you're in the same situation they are.
You have to sit there and smell somebody's asshole that you didn't want to.
So.
OK, real quick.
Can we come into agreement?
We come back to this Chris Jones conversation next time?
Yes.
I'm sitting there really.
We still got to finish this show.
Yes.
OK.
Oh, yeah.
OK.
And then on my final, doesn't it suck when you're going through an old memorabilia and
this happened to me, you find an old rare picture disc, you open it up and the record
is missing.
That sucks.
I hate that when it happens.
Yep.
So anyhow, did you want to talk about him now or what?
No, no, no.
No, let's let this unfold a little bit more after what I just read.
OK.
Yeah, let's let everything unfold a little more before we go report about this.
OK.
Yeah, there's a lot more reading to do too.
OK, that's good.
We've got to finish this show.
I've got time to read that one.
Well, all right.
Well, do you want to go into the hairy asshole Olympics next or do you have something that
you want to talk about for a little bit?
And then we go into the hairy asshole Olympics.
Well, like I said, that's all I have for tonight.
OK.
Then we'll be right back with the hairy asshole Olympics, part two.
Got you.
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If a 10 pound bag of shit could talk, this is what it would sound like.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.
It's strange insults from an alien.
Real hilarity.
You are dressed like an assistant debate coach at an Ohio State Middle School.
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.
Let's see here.
A package of eight hot dogs.
A package of 10 hot dog buns.
I would have to buy 10 packs of hot dogs and eight packs of buns to even it out.
Should I buy them at once?
Should I freeze them?
Or just continue to zigzag them and hope for the best?
I hate adulting.
Is the microphone on Mark?
Rob?
Hey, I'm Rob.
Sorry.
I let it on the button.
OK.
That's cool.
All right.
So this is Mark and Rob in this two douchebags for a microphone.
We are.
Totally.
Yes.
Yep.
All right.
So as we promised the hairy asshole Olympics, part two, we have a musician section here
that I'm going to go into first.
New Kids on the Block versus the Jonas Brothers.
All right.
I think that the Jonas Brothers have more asshole hair than New Kids on the Block.
What's your feeling?
Hmm.
Now, I admittedly don't really know that much about either one of them.
I'm just going just by their name to me.
OK.
Well, I unfortunately know a couple of them through TV.
OK.
Well, I'll rely on your kind of expertise on this, Rob.
You tell me who deserves to move on.
Well, wait a second.
I don't remember who was in what bands.
OK.
New Kids on the Block.
Wasn't that Justin Timberlake?
Was it Justin Timberlake?
Well, see, I think it was Nicholas Shay with them.
I think he might have been.
See, I don't remember.
I don't either.
I wasn't into that kind of music.
I just know them from TV.
But then there were so damn many of them that are now on TV that you don't know.
Yeah, because there was N'Sync.
Let's see.
There was like that one from Australia or whatever.
I'm going to go with New Kids on the Block because there's more people in that.
No, why not?
OK.
Why not?
All right.
The Jonas Brothers.
And you're going to send me your results, too?
Yes.
All right.
Next one.
Soundgarden's Kim Thal versus Zach Wild.
Now, Zach Wild looks like Cousin It.
Oh.
But Kim Thal looks like Captain Caveman.
I'm going to think.
Here's my thoughts on this.
Both of them are obviously hairy, at least hairy looking on the front.
Kim Thal has darker hair.
So I'm going to go with Kim Thal thinking he has more asshole hair than Zach Wild.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm definitely going to need your list.
I'm selling Kim Thal.
Shit.
Yeah, because I really don't want to kick out my man's hat.
I know.
I know, but I think Kim Thal.
Actually, actually I agree.
All right.
Listen, I mean, look, we love Zach.
We can love Zach not being in this contest.
So, OK.
He's doing awesome.
Just nod up against that one right off the get-go.
Well, they were two evenly matched people, I mean, on the surface.
But Kim Thal has darker hair and he has a thicker beard.
Yeah, but we could have brought him in and take out other ones.
Yeah, but I also wanted a little bit of like a little tug of war on this one too.
Yeah, we need more war.
No, we've got the granddaddy already, Denny Trejo versus Rob Zombie, and that doesn't come in until later.
So no one was going to beat those two anyhow.
Agreed?
Yeah, and Trejo was in our last one.
You brought him back.
Did I bring Trejo back?
I didn't have Trejo.
Yes, you did.
Did I?
One of us did.
I know, it was you.
It was you.
Denny Trejo should.
He was in our last battle and we kicked him off.
Trejo should.
I forget who he was to you.
OK, all right.
I'll look it up.
I'll give you an update here.
Yeah, definitely do.
OK, the next one.
Zach Galifianakis versus James Corbin.
I'm going to go with...
OK, OK, OK.
Is that the dude off Ancient Aliens?
Who? Which one?
No.
Oh, no, you're doing music.
Never mind.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, this is not music, this one.
Galifianakis is in The Hangover 1, 2, and 3.
He's a real hairy, hairy, bearded guy.
OK, I got you.
I got you.
And James Corbin is that kind of plump late night talk show host guy?
Right, right, right.
Yeah.
No, it's just that Zach's last name is close to somebody that I'm entering.
Oh, OK.
If you do not.
OK, well, I've got Galifianakis solid on this one.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's not even close.
I wanted Galifianakis to go on and fight some other people for us, so I went ahead and just gave him an easy one.
I gave him a tomato can, and he won.
This next one is interesting.
We're really going to have to think about it, because there's not a real good answer that I can think of.
The next one is David Letterman versus Billy Joel.
I'm going to go with Letterman because he's got that huge beard.
Letterman.
OK.
Letterman wins.
This next one I love.
He's old and crusty now.
He don't care.
Exactly.
He don't care about nothing.
Billy Joel used to be married to Christie Brinkley.
Yeah, you're right.
He's all refined.
She made him comb his asshole hair and everything.
You're right.
He may be from New York, but he's from proper New York.
You're right.
So OK, David Letterman wins this hands down.
All right.
Yep.
Good observation, Rob.
Good observation.
All right.
Next one, Paula Abdul.
That's why you hired me.
That's right.
Paula Abdul versus Britney Spears.
See, I could have seen that one as one of my battles.
Well, it will be battling someone from you maybe.
So I mean, it will be a battle for you if we pick one of these up again.
I got to give that one to Paula.
Me too.
All right.
So far, we've been pretty spot on on these.
This next one, Alec Baldwin versus Antonio Banderas.
I'm going to go with Alec Baldwin because he's old crusty and he killed someone.
I'm going to give it to Alec Baldwin for now.
Me too.
I think Antonio Banderas.
And Kelly has to do some prison time.
Yeah.
Yep.
Then we'll lose him.
Then we'll lose him to prison, yes.
And we expect that coming up.
So that's OK.
So for right now, Alec Baldwin is entered.
But as soon as he goes to the big house, that's it.
He can't.
Any type of big house activity automatically takes you out of the contest.
So we're sorry.
Alec, you're good right now.
But a little bit later on, we see some problems coming up.
So anyhow, you won this one.
But we'll see how long you're on there.
This next one, Bernie Sanders versus Chuck Schumer.
I think Phil DeBourne gets it.
Yeah.
All right.
OK.
All right.
So that was Bernie Sanders we picked on that one?
Yeah.
OK.
All righty.
I just want to make sure.
I thought that's what you said.
Yeah.
Yeah, I agree.
OK.
Looking ahead to this next one.
This next one's funny.
Jamie Lee Curtis versus Drew Barrymore.
Oh, damn.
I know.
Sorry.
That's what got my attention.
I thought you said Bernie, but I sit here reading this and I'm going, oh, shit.
Yeah.
Now I forgot all about Bernie.
I know.
What are we talking about, Weekend at Bernie's or what?
Yeah.
Jamie Lee Curtis or Drew Barrymore?
Oh, damn.
I know.
Jamie Lee Curtis is a little bit older, taller, a little bit darker hair.
I think I'm off to Jamie.
OK.
Jamie Lee Curtis gets it because I like those exact reasons.
Yeah.
That's the only reasons I have why Jamie gets them.
I mean, I don't have any other solid proof why she should get it.
So there we go.
This next one, I got a definite one on that I'm leaning towards, but I'm going to wait
for your expert opinion on this.
Jack Black versus Will Ferrell.
But then again, I don't know.
You know what?
The more I think about this.
I do.
Damn.
OK.
I almost will.
I'm almost leaning towards Will Ferrell because of his attitude.
I think that Will Ferrell would purposely grow his ass hair out just to be shocking
where Jack Black, he has it naturally and is not trying to be shocking.
You think?
At the same time, I don't know if Jack Black can bend over to take care of it.
Yeah, that's a good point.
OK.
Jack Black.
This one is Jack Black.
You want me to?
I like it.
You won.
You're right.
Jack Black gets it.
And he's always had like, he's always been hairy.
Here's the beard.
Yeah.
You know what?
What was I thinking?
You're right.
Jack Black is the obvious answer.
Next one.
Jim Belushi versus Matthew Broderick.
Jim, baby, all the way.
Jim all the way.
Yes.
Yep.
And I know who we can.
Yeah.
This will come up on the next one.
But I know who we can pit him against later on if he's still around.
You're going to have to wait until I come out of mine.
I can't wait.
Next one.
Valerie Bertinelli versus Lisa Rinna.
They're evenly matched.
Lisa Rinna has those huge lips.
Yeah.
But I don't know if that parlay's to ass away.
But lips has them.
I know.
That's all I can get on Lisa Rinna's huge lips.
I think I'm going to have to do that one to Valerie.
I think so too.
Anyone with a good look to Wolfgang Van Halen I think gets the nod.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
This next one's a pretty good one.
Tim Allen versus John Goodman.
Damn it.
You just stole two of mine.
Yeah.
You can still bring them up against other people.
It's fine.
And the funny thing is John Goodman has a home down here.
He does.
He's from St. Louis.
Yeah.
He has a house here at Lake of the Ozarks.
Yeah.
It's up on the hill.
I've seen pictures of it.
The whole front of it's glass, isn't it?
My money goes to Tim Allen.
Okay.
Tim Allen it is.
He did time in prison for cocaine.
Tim Allen gets it.
Good for him.
Tim Allen, anyone that's been to prison gets the nod on the asshole hair Olympics because
you know they grew that shit out.
He grew it out for protection in prison.
Yeah.
And he's lived all these years.
The only thing weird on the street is he tied it in the knot so no one could get in there.
He put dreadlocks down there.
All right.
Next one.
This is from the comics The Archies.
Veronica versus Betty.
Oh shit.
Yeah.
I know.
That was my little twist that I wasn't wanting to give away.
I think I'm also doing it with the Betty.
Okay.
Betty it is.
That's my opinion.
Okay.
Betty from Archies because I have another Betty coming up.
What about your opinion?
I think Betty's got it too.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
We need a new rope too to make it official.
No, no, no.
The thing is on close ones if we both kind of have the same feeling I just go with it
because.
Okay.
Because Veronica had long dark hair but Betty just kind of had that thicker look like maybe
she has like something going on down there.
So.
Yeah.
That's exactly why I gave it to her.
Yeah.
So I couldn't argue with that or find any solid reason to go against it.
So I'm like okay Betty it is.
Okay.
Flintstones Wilma versus the other Betty Betty Rebel.
Now Wilma is a crazy eye ginger.
She's a soulless ginger.
We got to remember this.
But Betty is also like Betty from the Archies.
Thicker darker hair.
And they're both cave women.
Yes.
So both of them have asshole hair galore.
I gave it to Betty.
Me too.
Okay good good.
So far.
So far we're on the same page.
That's why I said I'm going to put Betty from the Archies and then Betty from the Flintstones.
The funny thing is brother Tom.
You know from me talking about.
He kind of looks like Barney Rebel.
Yes.
We've we've given him crap for that for years.
Awesome.
Okay.
Well then Betty it is.
Yeah.
All right.
Next one.
Carson Wentz another ginger versus Matt Ryan.
Oh.
I'm going to go with Carson Wentz.
Yeah I think I gave that one to Carson.
And also we need a ginger in this.
Because.
Not for that reason.
Well no no no I know but listen.
I agree.
We've got Dave Mustaine a ginger actually won the first round.
Yeah.
Okay.
Carson Wentz is another ginger and he's kind of rugged.
He's a folk singer.
He's a great singer.
He's another ginger and he's kind of rugged he's a football player.
So I think it makes perfect good perfectly good sense to go against Matt Ryan who had
a long neck and was kind of I don't know kind of I don't know frailish looking maybe.
So Carson Wentz gets it.
This next one I really like.
Okay.
I'm writing this down.
Carson.
Wentz.
Hello she's.
Matt Ryan.
Matt.
Okay.
And Carson Wentz took it.
Next one.
Okay.
Jason Kelsey versus John Harbaugh.
I'm going to go with Jason.
Jason all the way baby.
Jason all the way.
Yep.
All right.
Next one.
Richard Simmons versus Jason Bateman of very famously Ozark.
Yeah.
Richard Simmons the last pictures anyone seen of him he looks like an old woman like maybe
he transitioned.
I don't think there's I don't think there's an ounce of hair.
I don't think there's an ounce of hair on him to you.
I think Jason Bateman takes it.
Honestly.
Yeah.
This is tough.
Because for years I've kind of seen Jason Bateman as one to shave.
So you're thinking.
I don't know for a fact.
I have not seen him shirtless.
And Richard Simmons is older.
His personality I just think.
I think I might give this one to Jason Bateman.
All right.
Hang on.
Okay.
How about if I flip a coin?
All right.
Okay.
Which one heads or tails heads or tails Rob?
Give Jason the ass.
Jason Bateman won.
Damn.
I don't really ever win that game.
You won it.
All right.
Next one is my other band section.
I think I did bands at the first and then I came back and did bands.
Yeah.
Well the first one was musicians.
This one is bands.
Okay.
Guns N' Roses versus Alice in Chains.
I'm going with Alice.
I'm quickly running through all the members in my head.
Yeah, I think I'm going to have to agree with you.
All righty.
All right.
And the last one, Godsmack versus Limp Bizkit.
I know.
I really like that one.
I'm going to go with Godsmack.
They're a little bit more rugged than Limp Bizkit.
Thinking of all the videos I've been watching lately for our music bus.
Yes.
I think I'm going to have to go with Limp Bizkit also.
All right.
No.
Godsmack.
Yeah, Godsmack.
Yep.
Okay.
Yeah, Godsmack.
That is my portion of the Harry Asshole Olympics part two.
I will send you the results.
Yeah, yeah, because I'm going to need them.
Yeah, and then you come up with your list.
Because you're right into my list.
Well, the doubles.
Because I knew what happened.
Okay, the doubles get exempt status and they get moved on.
Anyone that's a double, is that agreed upon?
Anyone that's a double?
No.
Because they were popular enough for two people to go ahead and vote for them.
That they should get exempt status on this one.
And they get moved on to the next one.
Sound good?
Sounds good.
Okay.
All right.
How about if we come back and I've got some other stories here that I'd like to get to.
And a neat little thing about a time capsule.
And some other things.
So we will be right back right after this.
Invisible ass paddlings, new douche flavors and horrible pranks.
What the fuck is wrong with these guys?
As pleasant as 50 grit sandpaper to your inner thighs.
Two monkey fuckers and a toaster will be right back.
Okay, it's two douche bags and microphone on Mark.
And I'm on.
All righty.
Rob, do you have anything?
You said earlier you had a couple things you wanted to get into or did you get to them already?
No.
I got some here.
Oh yeah, yeah.
I do.
I thought you said you did.
So yeah, go ahead.
Yeah, yeah.
I got a major one right here.
Okay.
It's not as big a list that I was.
Okay, this has to do with the Lake Erie shootout, the boat race.
Oh yeah, yeah.
That's right.
We talked about that too.
I just forgot.
Go ahead.
Yeah, yeah.
It was this last weekend.
Yep.
Okay.
Well, here's the problem.
They've had so many damn classes.
I want to go and sit and cover every damn class.
No.
And also people, a lot of people don't know that.
Oh, here's what I have for you.
Okay.
There was like, I'm going to guess like 30 different classes.
Okay, yeah.
Over 200 boats in this thing.
I looked up after you reported on that last time.
I looked it up and it's a huge event now.
Geez.
Oh, dude, dude.
Okay.
Well, what they have is they have what they call the top gun.
Okay.
That is the boat that runs the fastest during the whole race,
doesn't matter what class.
Okay.
And it's always the big boys.
Okay.
This year goes to class PC64A, which don't ask me where they get their class numbers at.
Who knows?
Goes to the boat, American ethanol.
Okay.
See, I have problems with names, driver Tony Atatia, D-A-T-T-I-A-T-A.
Sounds right to me.
Ran 214 mile an hour this year.
Wow.
You really want to say wow?
Yeah.
I did a little more homework.
Okay.
I went back in time.
I went back and looked up the fastest during, on this lake,
which happened to be another shootout.
Okay.
It was the 2014 Lake of the Ozarks shootout.
Okay.
The boat name was Spirit of Guitar.
Oh, I like that name.
No, no, no, no.
Q-A-T-A-R.
Oh.
Okay.
Forget it.
So you know, just so you know, and it was a 50 foot mystic.
Wow.
I went back and looked up the names.
I couldn't pronounce them.
But anyway, they ran at 244 mile an hour.
Shit.
Wow.
That's so fast.
If there's anything in the water at all and you hit it, you could disintegrate.
Dude, I had personally watched boats that ran 220 on this lake during the shootout.
That's insane.
The smoother the water, the better.
But I'll tell you what, when they go that fast, it's like watching them rocket cars going through the salt dunes.
Yeah.
It's all flat.
You know what I mean?
The thing about Lake of Ozarks is it is so long that they're able to do this.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
It is a long lake.
Boats are 40, 50 foot long.
Yeah.
How long would you say?
Like I said, we have pontoons that run over 100.
We have jet skis that are hitting 80 to 100.
I've seen that.
That is crazy.
I just did not get a chance with our other subjects to sit down and go through that.
I've been doing your homework for a while.
Rob, that was good.
That was perfect because that's introducing people to what's going on at the lake, and
then we'll delve into it a little bit more.
That's perfect.
That's a great interface for what we're going to go into a little bit more of, of what you're
talking about, what you want to talk about.
So that's perfect, Rob.
Honestly, the shootout one day during the week before, they have a remote control boat
race.
Oh, wow.
They have a remote control boat running over 100 mile an hour.
Rob, I've got a question here real quick about the lake.
Yeah.
From Bagnell Dam all the way to what is the last arm of the lake?
Is it the Niangwa arm?
Oh, you got Niangwa, you got, that's three different arms.
You got the Osage and let's see what is...
Yeah, Niangwa, Osage, and...
What is the other one?
Yeah.
Well, anyhow, how long would you say from the furthest point to the south, and I think
the lake travels to the southwest, doesn't it?
Goes towards Truman Reservoir.
How long...
Okay.
Yeah, it comes out of Truman Reservoir.
That is the 100 mile marker.
Yes.
No, no, no, no.
Is it the 100?
I think it is.
I think you're right.
I think that's the 100 right there.
So it is 100 miles.
No, I am...
Well, mile marker zero would be at the dam, right?
Actually, actually, actually.
Give me a couple minutes.
Okay.
Give me a couple minutes.
Okay, what do you want to know exactly?
How long the lake is from the furthest it goes to the southeast to the extreme northern
up near Jefferson, south of Jefferson City, I think is where Bagnell Dam is.
You want the furthest straight line or you want the whole side?
Okay, if a crow flew the whole lake, how long that would be mile-wise.
Okay.
I'm trying to give people that don't know this a little idea of what we're talking about,
but tell them while you're looking that up, I've got a neat little story from Chicago.
You want to hear it?
Go for it, go for it.
Chicago TV news crew robbed at gunpoint while reporting a string of robberies.
The crew ended up robbed themselves after they were accosted at gunpoint by three armed
men wearing ski masks.
Spanish language station Univision Chicago said a reporter and a photographer were filming
just before 5 a.m. Monday in Chicago's Westtown neighborhood when three masked men brandishing
firearms robbed them, taking their television camera and other items.
They were approached by a police officer and a police officer who was in the car.
They were approached with guns and robbed.
Mainly it was personal items and they took a camera.
Luis Gudenes, vice president of Univision Chicago, told the Tribune.
Wow.
Gudenes said that the crew was filming a story about a string of robberies when they were
approached by the masked gunman.
Chicago police identified the victims as 28-year-old male and a 42-year-old male.
The pair were filming when a dark SUV drove up and robbed them and then took off.
The victims are okay and the Chicago PD is looking for the vehicle and of course they
probably don't know what the gunman looked like because they were masked.
Yeah.
Let's see here.
Okay, well I have your answer.
Okay, what is it?
Okay.
The length of Lake of the Ozarks is 93.21 miles.
Okay, that's what I wanted.
Its shoreline is even longer at about 1,100 miles.
Yeah, the shoreline is larger than California, well the whole west coast.
It's larger than the whole west coast.
Well, the pride of Lake of the Ozarks, if you look at it from like an aerial picture
or a map, it kind of looks like a dragon.
It does, yep.
I've actually seen it from a plane and saw the dragon look.
Yeah, yeah.
It's pretty cool actually.
Okay, thank you Rob.
Yeah, there you go, that quick.
Alright.
Thank you Google.
This story, thank you Google, this story is from AP News.
Japanese ministries eat Fukushima fish to show it's safe after nuclear plant waste water
is discharged.
Japanese Prime Minister Fumio Kishida and three cabinet members ate Fukushima fish,
Shishami, at a lunch meeting Wednesday, in an apparent effort to show that fish is safe
following the release of treated radioactive waste water from Fukushima nuclear power plant
that began last week.
Kishida and the three ministers had Shishami, a flounder, octopus, and sea bass
caught off the Fukushima coast after the water release, along with vegetables and fruits
with rice that was grown with the water for irrigation, which, so they must do something
to the water because it would be salt water, right?
I don't think you can irrigate with salt water, but anyhow, the release of treated
No, no, no, no.
The release of treated wastewater into the ocean, which began Thursdays, highly opposed
by fishing groups and neighboring countries.
China immediately banned all imports from Japanese foods in response to the new policy
on wastewater.
Right after the press conference was adjourned, the power plant went out.
The power went out in the auditorium.
The place was pitch black.
Luckily, the prime minister and the other ministers were glowing and helped everyone
out safely.
Ha, ha, ha.
They weren't really glowing.
Interesting.
Yeah, yeah, yep.
So what are you looking at now?
Where are you looking up?
No, I just tried my final thought.
Oh, okay.
Hang on, I got one more story.
We're not ready yet, are we?
No, we got one more story or a couple more.
It doesn't matter.
You're the one that has to get up really early, not me.
So you tell me.
I don't care.
Okay.
A thief steals former governor's SUV as he hosts a radio show.
Former North Dakota Governor Ed Schaeffer has learned a lesson about locking his vehicle.
He was hosting a Fargo radio show when police called and asked if he owned a 2020 GMC Yukon.
Schaeffer was a guest hosting KFGO's News and Views program Friday morning when police
called the station to ask if he owned the Yukon.
It turns out that the SUV had been stolen out of the station's parking lot.
The thief apparently drove it to a probation officer and surrendered to authorities, Schaeffer
said.
So he was hosting a radio show.
The thief saw that it was open, so then he stole the car.
And then it sounds to me like he's afraid he's going to go to prison again or something.
So, he went straight to the parolee, the parole officer, probably the guy that he answered
to, the parole officer's office and turned himself in with the vehicle.
So, interesting.
Oh yeah, hey, I forgot about this one.
Oh yeah, go ahead.
And, okay, it's a sad day, sad day, sad day.
Okay.
The nights of Alice Cooper radio show to end on September 4th.
It is.
According to United Stations EVP programming, Indy Denmark, nights of Alice Cooper will
conclude its 19 and a half years in syndication during the week of September 4th with programs
being offered to Sunday, September 10th.
Oh man, well.
The U.S. television business report says that the Rock legend did not retire or quit radio
and the decision to end the program is due to the sale of United Stations with new management
changing the programming.
And the new management is idiots.
Yeah, so this was not Alice Cooper's doing.
Alice Cooper will be syndicated again, he's too good.
I listen to him every night when I work nights.
Many years.
Yeah.
Many years.
Especially driving down the road late at night.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
He will be picked up by another group of stations or syndicator.
You watch.
He's too good.
He's not going to be out radio long.
I almost seem to be going serious.
Oh, that'd be great if he did.
If he went to Sirius, I got Sirius.
I'll listen to him.
Why not?
Yeah.
Everybody else has.
Yeah.
Like I said, I ignore the Stern button and everything else on there is pretty good.
I mean, they have some specialized channels that I just love and I also like Eddie Trunk.
Eddie Trunk's show on there is excellent.
I've got another music story and then we can go ahead and close down the program with the
final thought.
Okay?
All right.
Kick Ass From Me and Larry Gilmstrom claims that Spencer Proffer approached the band.
Spencer Proffer's a producer.
He approached the band to record songs for Black Sabbath's then to be released Born Again
album.
Larry explains that when they were doing the Vices album, Kick Ass was given the keys
to the studio to record music for possible songs on Sabbath's Born Again album.
He said none of the songs were used, but Spencer was looking for material for the newly reformed
post-deal lineup with Ian Gillen.
Gilmstrom said they would work on the Kick Ass album during the day and evening go record
music for possible Sabbath material.
Geezer Butler is denied the claims.
He said they were looking for a singer, not a songwriter at that time, and they found
Ian Gillen so that did that.
But the thing is, maybe this is true, maybe it isn't, but I can tell you that the Born
Again album is a big departure from Sabbath's regular stuff.
It was faster paced.
It was completely different.
I totally agree with you on that.
Yeah, so maybe, maybe they did use some other people's material, but when you buy that material,
it then becomes yours and then you put whoever's name on it you want.
And that has not been the first time that has happened.
I mean, I don't know about Sabbath, but it's happened with plenty of other groups, so I
could actually see where that could be true.
The only thing I say is Kick Ass, why did they pick them to write Sabbath music?
I don't get that.
Yeah, so, I don't know, maybe they're looking for unknowns with a different sound, I don't
know.
So, anyhow, interesting story.
Might be true, might not, who the fuck knows.
So, anyhow, do you want to go ahead and do a final thought, Rob?
Yeah, I got one.
Alrighty.
If somebody asks you, are you crazy?
Simply reply yes, just like that, end this discussion, walk away.
That's great, leave it to their imagination.
Yeah?
Yeah.
No, just say yes.
Yes, you owe them an explanation.
If you don't ask me.
No, a person will come up with reasons why you're crazy better than you can.
You know what I mean?
Their imagination will take them away, the sheer fact that you said yes and stopped will
make them go everywhere.
That's great, I love it.
It'll make them think they're crazy.
Yes.
I love that final thought.
Alright, everybody, thank you, thanks for listening, numbers are still growing, we're
still doing very good, we still, Rob and I still love doing this and we're enjoying this.
Yeah, every day.
Yeah, so thank you for listening and thank you for making it possible by having enough
people listen to keep our interest in doing this.
So thank you.
And like I said before, we're only getting better, so, anyway, anyhow, thank you, have
a great night.
Good night, everybody.
Good night.
Hey, where did everybody go?
Where are the douchebags?
Oh my god, someone took a dump in the corner.
Oh jeez.
Glad they're gone.
Let's just hope they don't come back.
Man, that smells.