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Oh shit, what's that over there?
Oh no, it's the island of horrible jokes.
I found my coffee in Microsoft Office.
I will find you and I will have my word.
Hi everybody, Two Boosh Bags and Microphone. I am Mark.
And I'm Rob.
Alright, so let's see who I am.
I have some alternative insults, what do you think?
I love them.
Okay, then we can go into some odd facts.
I have a bunch of odd facts that might interest you.
Cool.
So, okay.
The alternative insults was born out of the need to cuss at somebody, but you're in a place where you couldn't.
You really wanted to call someone a dumbfuck or a dicksmack or something,
but you couldn't for whether you're in church or...
Yeah, that's how I got my nickname, Duck.
Yeah, I remember that.
So, yeah.
Yeah, so it's like swearing at a person and they know you're swearing at them and calling them a name,
but you're not actually calling them a name.
So, like this one guy I used to work with, I told you about it.
I used to call him a banister. Oh, he hated that. I'm not a banister!
If I really wanted to make him mad, really steam his engine, would be wooden banister.
And he would just flip out, you take that back!
Like, no, you're a wooden banister. I'm not taking it back.
No, I'm not.
I like it personally.
I'd be a wooden banister.
The only thing is, like I said before, the gas issue, people walking by farting on you,
because you're going to be about ass high.
But other than that, I mean...
It would be fun, it would be fun, when them little son of a bitches try to slide down it
and you put a splinter in your ass.
Oh yeah! You know what, that would make up for everything.
And also, you get to see the chick walking.
That would make up, yeah.
That would make me happy to be a banister.
Yeah, me too.
Besides that, our favorite mall was named after it.
Banister Mall.
Oh yeah, Banister Mall, yeah!
That's right, yep.
So...
I wonder why that name sticks with us.
That is why.
Okay, the first alternative insult I have is a cherry tomato.
You're not a beefsteak.
You're not on a hamburger.
You're not even, let's see, you're not even aroma.
You're a little bitty cherry tomato.
You're a little squirt.
Yeah.
Just say itty bitty.
You bite into it, you taste little squirt.
That's right.
So cherry tomato, I kind of like that one.
I like that one.
This next one is a pain in the ass one.
This is like a real, someone that's just like a real fucking,
real pain in the ass just always bothering you just from him being around.
Cheese grater.
Oh!
Yeah, you know, you take a hunk of cheese and rub it against this metal looking thing,
this almost cone, square cone looking thing,
and then you're rubbing it up and down and these little flakes of cheese come flying off.
That's pretty bad.
Damn.
Yeah.
That, yeah, that's, talk about ripping your ass.
Yeah.
Cheese grater.
Next one.
I like this one a lot because it's just, it's, this is calling someone a real dumb fuck.
A wooden pallet.
Oh my God.
Yeah, just like lying there.
Someone takes a pallet and you're like, yeah, yep.
Nothing much else.
They use you for whatever they want to use you for.
Yep.
They take up space, they throw shit on you.
Yep.
Roll over, Sam.
Yeah, we try to give them, we've got a bunch we're trying to give away if anybody needs any pallets.
All B and M.
Um, shit.
They don't do that.
Well, I don't even know how to get a hold of them anymore.
Forget it.
Well, yeah, well, you'd have to drive clear to Canton to get them, but yeah.
Yeah.
We'll give them away for free.
No.
Um, I'm sure there's somebody out there who wants free pallets, but okay.
Well, hey, hey, we have listeners around late in the Ozarks.
We have a lot of those.
Anybody needs any pallets, come to B and M out by Canton Airport.
There we go.
All right.
I suggest if you want some pallets, go get them now.
All right, the next one, a crouton.
Yeah.
I like this one.
It looks good, but the clench is a little too much.
Yeah, yeah.
Next one, felt marker.
The felt marker sucks.
Oh, oh my God.
They like mush on one side and fall over.
Yeah.
They dry up.
The felt marker's another pain in the ass.
It's just like, ah, you're still there?
Yeah.
You fucking felt marker?
Next one.
We used them in grade school, didn't we?
Yeah.
Back in the 70s?
Yeah, yep.
Yeah.
They're really not much use to them.
You do a couple of pages of coloring and that's it.
They're gone.
Yeah, they're done.
They're little pieces of trash.
Next one, wild rice.
Eh.
It's okay.
Okay, we'll move on to the next one.
A little crunchy for me.
Okay.
Next one, galvanized bucket.
I like that one.
Oh, yeah, I like that one.
You call them that and you just imagine them sitting on a floor with some cleaner in it
and a sponge.
Galvanized bucket.
I like that one.
Next one, terry cloth.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, at least you're not an ass cloth or something, you know, a washcloth that he
washes ass with.
Terry cloth used to get fucking dirt, you know, dust off of stuff.
I don't know.
Yeah, yeah, well, you got to be old to understand that one.
That's true.
Yeah.
Next one, hamburger helper.
You don't even have hamburger yet.
You're just the helper.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's pretty bad if you're not even hamburger.
You're just the helper that goes alongside hamburger.
You're just some stuff that's supposed to be called noodles and a package of seasoning.
Not even a hamburger because you got to supply your own hamburger.
Yep.
All in a pretty little bowl for fucking seven bucks.
That's bad.
It is.
Next one, jiffy lube.
That's bad.
Oh, wow.
Jiffy lube's bad because jiffy lube sucks.
We all know this.
You're not even someone in there working.
You're just like the building, empty building.
I'm going to keep my mouth shut on that one, Mark.
Are you sure?
I have a good friend that works for jiffy lube.
Jiffy lube, we love you and whoever works there, what's his name?
I love him like a brother and he knows it.
Okay.
Hey.
I'm opening lipsticks to it.
How about valvaline?
There we go.
Next one.
I like how I jiffy lube.
I do too.
Next one, dog whistle.
Dogs go nuts out.
Normal humans are just like, what's going on?
Your dog's going, you're talking to your friends.
Yeah, yeah.
Us humans don't hear that shit.
That's a good one.
Next one, scissor lift.
Scissor lifts are a real pain in the ass.
Do you ever steer one?
Do you ever go up in one?
No, I don't like heights, but I know what they are.
Well, it sucks because you've got to steer that thing from way up in there, like three stories up, and it's not easy.
Well, seeing how I would get up in it, I had to help unload it and load it back up.
Then you know.
Oh yeah, it was a pain in the ass for me, even though I didn't get up in it.
I put in a lot of fucking product with a scissor lift.
Don't like them.
Well, they did make the drop-off yesterday, but I don't like them.
Next one, knitting needle.
Oh, damn.
Yeah, that's pretty bad, isn't it?
You're not even sewing needle.
You're a knitting needle.
You're right at the edge.
Yeah.
You come to a point, but then you go blunt.
Yep.
All right.
Next on the list here, next on the agenda, we have odd facts.
Ooh, I love them too.
I do too.
There are some pretty good ones on the list.
I just kind of read them over a little bit.
Right on.
Okay.
Well, here we go.
Crows can remember faces and can recognize, and they recognize them their whole life.
I did not know that.
I've known that because I've made friends with some crows.
And then we'll come back to the same place every day to say hi to you.
You know that?
No.
Oh, they'll bring you gifts too.
No, I did not.
They'll bring you gifts.
They find shiny stuff.
They love shiny stuff.
They'll pick it up with their beak and they'll bring you gifts.
They're extremely smart birds.
And a mockingbird is too.
Let me guess, you learned that from Coyleagall?
No.
Actually, I've been into birds for quite a while.
And we've learned how to track the orioles and stuff like that.
But I've also known about, yeah, I've known about mockingbirds for quite a while.
And I don't know necessarily where I learned it from.
I just know that I know about mockingbirds.
Okay, well, can I take this off for a second?
Yeah.
Okay.
That's what we do.
Okay.
I have been to the place in Eureka Springs with the birds.
They, what is it, the...
The zoo?
The B&B, whatever it is.
What is it?
I think it was a B&B or something, but they had birds all throughout it.
Oh, so it's a bed and breakfast that specializes in having birds.
I think, or something.
And there was a few of the birds you could actually buy.
There was one I wanted to buy.
Really?
It was pretty cool, yeah.
Very cool.
I've never heard about that place.
Huh.
I'm trying to remember.
It's been, man, it's been 20 years since I've been down there.
Yeah, I know.
I've been to a place and I've got some birds and you've walked through...
I think it was a B&B.
Okay.
Anyway, I'll get into that one.
We'll get back on that.
Yeah, go ahead.
Monk, Monking Birds, my friend Bob, who grew up in Nevada, Missouri, and he passed away.
He's an older guy.
He was kind of like a second, he was like a second father to me.
I met him just before my father, my real father passed away.
And this guy was just so good on advice, such a gentle soul, such a good guy.
He befriended a mockingbird walking his dog every day.
And he told me about this mockingbird.
And as he passed away, I wanted to go befriend that mockingbird for him, for Bob.
I never made it up there and I'm really disappointed that I didn't.
Because by now the mockingbird has moved on.
They don't wait, you know.
They'll come by a few times, and if you're not there, then they'll go on.
So anyhow, mockingbirds are really interesting too, like crows.
Mockingbirds will give you gifts too, and mockingbirds will mock you.
So let's say you move to the right, they will move to the right.
You move to the left, they'll move to the left.
Very interesting bird, very intelligent bird also.
So I just wanted to go there and meet the mockingbird and kind of close everything out for Bob.
And I got his pug too, you know.
So anyhow, I never got to do that, disappointed about that.
But hey, I've known about mockingbirds forever and they're really good.
So let's get back on track.
Babies are 78% water when born.
Yes.
Okay, you knew that?
I've heard that, yeah.
Okay.
Only one person known can voluntarily change the size of their pupil.
I didn't know anybody could.
I didn't either.
Only one person could.
One person can.
They had a video of the guy, well actually it was a woman.
Yeah, kind of freaky.
This one I did know, but it's cool to hear it again.
I've forgotten about it.
The position you sleep in is linked to your personality.
I believe that.
He's doing research for his podcast.
I've read across stories about that, but I never read them.
Okay.
Maybe I should have.
Oh well, doesn't matter.
We got the story now, so whether it's before or now, we got it to the people.
No, no, now I need to look into it.
Okay.
You know what, here's the deal.
Get up and give us a report.
Alright.
Okay.
You got it.
Next one.
Tulips used to be worth more than gold.
They were flowers only the wealthy could afford and was used as a status symbol among the wealthy.
I didn't know that.
That's your plain old tulip that you see on all these flower beds, suburbia, USA.
Interesting.
I wonder what made them so valuable.
Could they not get them for a while here?
Did they not know they'd grow here?
I don't know.
Maybe I'll read that up and give a full report.
Yeah, we got, we're both got a home board.
This next one I've heard of because I know people that do this.
There's a treasure hunt going on in outer space.
Geocaching with a GPS and a geocaching app.
So they have these apps and there's these geos in space and people look for them with their app.
Isn't that cool?
And I wonder why it costs so much to run satellites.
Yep.
I'm leaving that right there.
Good enough.
Next one, and I didn't know this, but I can believe it reading more about her.
Cleopatra was so wealthy.
She was vacationing in Turkey and was unhappy with the sand on the beaches there.
So she had the white sand in Egypt scooped up and brought to her vacation destination in Turkey.
No cars.
No trains.
Just a bunch of slaves with a lot of fucking sand carrying it to her place.
I don't know.
The more I hear about Cleopatra, the older I get, the more I think she's a bitch.
Yeah.
Yep, and also...
Seriously, yeah, when you're a kid Cleopatra was cool, but when you grow up and start hearing real shit, she's a bitch.
They've also determined that that good looking dark haired chick that you see in all the remakes or whatever, the movies or whatever, that is not what she looked like.
Not even close.
No.
With the reconstruction of when they found her tomb, they liked manly features.
They thought the manly features on a woman was like ideal.
So she looked like a man probably is what they think.
Yeah, yeah.
She was not good looking at all from the documentaries I've seen.
Yeah.
Yep.
So, the next one.
You could once win an Olympic medal for art and music.
Didn't I add?
No.
I wish they kind of could do that again.
That would be interesting to watch people battle it out with music and art.
Wouldn't that be cool?
Yeah.
Did you know that some stars devour planets?
A quarter of the sun like stars devour planets.
I believe that.
Yeah.
Yeah, isn't that weird?
But they will actually do it on purpose they think from what they can gather.
Yeah.
Okay, next one.
Did you know that you can make honey from dandelions?
No, I did not.
Now you know.
There's a few other ingredients but they can make honey from dandelions and people have.
Okay, well that's going to get me into the story that a guy that I work with is telling me.
And I'm going to bring that on.
I'm going to make...
Yeah.
I'm going to have a list of some stuff.
I'm going to put Carol to shame.
Good.
Well, Carol is already at shame.
It was a big hoax and the guy that invented Carol was like, hey, watch this.
I'm going to convince everybody this shit's good.
And a bunch of he-haws and uh-huh, okay, sure.
Next thing you know is all these rubes picked up on it.
So anyhow, I'm talking about that enough.
Anybody that has listened to me and my view on Carol, I'm about to prove what I have said.
Okay.
That's all I'm going to say.
We look forward to that, Rob.
I bet you do.
We do.
Did you know that tonsils can grow back?
That would suck.
I did not know that.
Neither did I.
It's rare.
Once they were gone, they were gone.
It's rare, but they can and have.
Did you know that Abraham Lincoln is in the wrestling hall of fame?
Abraham Lincoln is in the wrestling hall of fame?
Yeah.
It was a wrestler before running for office.
He had over 300 matches to his credit.
I did not know that.
Yep.
Wow.
Yep.
Did you know that sunlight triggers romantic passion?
Okay.
I thought moonlight did.
I thought so too.
All right.
Next one.
Some jellyfish are immortal.
The turret tops the store hill.
Whenever this fish is in trouble, it reverts back to its earlier form, spawning growth all over again.
So you could cut it in half and it will revert back to when it was whole and young and start regenerating.
Isn't that fucked up?
It was like the metal dude on Terminator.
He's a jellyfish.
No, seriously, I did not know that.
I didn't either.
That is interesting though.
I am a Pisces, so I like the fish and the water.
Yeah.
All right.
I'm a Scorpio and so do I.
Both water signs.
The sound of doors opening and closing on Star Trek is actually a flushing toilet.
On the original?
No.
On the original Star Trek?
No, on next generation.
Sorry.
On next generation?
Yeah, odd as it seems, the noise works well with the series.
And if you listen to it, you can kind of tell.
But you see how come I use that because it does sound like a door opening and closing.
They're kind of doors, the side to side automated doors.
Okay, well I could have seen, I could see that in the original.
I just would have figured they would have progressed past that.
I know.
Next generation.
They might have even done it in the original, I don't know.
But this one mentioned the next generation.
Yeah, well if they did say, okay, I would have figured they would have graduated.
One of the has is Captain Picard's toilet that they filmed, that they recorded sound on.
I'll believe it.
Yeah, me too.
Just saying.
Yep, they recorded him every time he took a dump.
Okay, did you know that Cookie Monster has a name?
A first name.
You know what it is?
I used to know that, I don't remember.
I need to tell my grandson that.
Sid.
S-I-D.
Sid.
His name is Sid.
Like Sid and Marty Croft?
Yeah.
Cool, I need to tell my grandson that now.
Okay, did you know there are 2000 thunderstorms happening on the Earth at every moment?
2000 of them.
Every moment?
Every moment.
Wow.
And finally, but not least, shellac is made from bug shit.
I knew that one.
I did not, but it sounds funny.
Yep, yep, it's good.
So, alright.
Hey, can I add one?
Yeah, go ahead.
Jesse James refused to rob banks in McKinney, Texas because his favorite chili was served
in McKinney.
What chili was that?
That was in McKinney plenty of times.
And he knew that if he robbed a bank there, he would not be able to return to have some
of that chili.
Did it name the place?
If they're still around?
They're probably not still around.
No, it don't say it.
It just said it was in McKinney, Texas.
Okay, well alright, we're going to return right after this, so hang tight.
As much fun as an electric can opener to the scrotum, two deuce lives in a microphone.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.
It's strange insults from an alien.
Real hilarity.
Your grandmother always intrudes your thoughts at the last minute while you are masturbating.
And now, deep thoughts with Mark.
So let me see.
Let's say I was offended by people being offended.
Then would people being offended all the time would have to not be offended around me because
I was offended by them being offended?
Hm.
I may never know.
We're back.
I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
We are two deuce bags in microphone.
Alright.
You know there's southern sayings, right?
Oh yeah.
Sayings that they just say in the south and like people from the north would be baffled if they heard it.
Now in the Midwest we are privy to some of these because we do have a lot of southerners that migrated up
and were kind of like the mess ground.
They all want to go all the way up to, you know, near Canada, but they needed to go further north for a job or whatever.
So I've worked around southerners all my life and I've heard virtually all of these terms.
Most of them I know what they are, but some of them I did not.
So I've got a list of terms and what they mean in southern slang in America.
Catey.
That's pretty interesting.
Catey Wampus.
You've heard that, haven't you?
Yes I have.
It's pretty common around here.
Thames aren't lined up correctly.
This next one kind of went, it traveled all over, but it started in the south and I know it started in the south
because that's where I very first heard it.
Bless your heart.
And there's two different things.
No, that started in Harrisonville, Missouri with my grandma.
Okay. Was she a southerner before Harrisonville?
She grew up in Kansas.
She was a farmer on Kansas.
Okay.
South-East Kansas.
Okay, on here, here's the definition for it on here from what I looked up here.
Saying for being concerned or well-being of someone. I've also heard that sarcastically.
Like someone's being a real bitch and then the old lady goes, well bless her heart.
And it just kind of walks off.
That also means what a stupid fucking asshole.
I hope they leave.
So, anyway, it only gives the one version of it, but I know for a fact that bless your heart means both ways.
It can mean like really concerned or also well fuck this idiot.
Actually, now that you mention that, yes, I do remember that.
A lot of people used to say that, yeah.
It was pretty common. At least around here.
When I hear it, I think of my grandma.
That's cool. Your grandma in Hooterville, huh?
Yeah.
She was between Harrison Mill and Freeman.
Oh, okay. On two highway?
Yeah. You know where Double D is?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, my family farm is at Double D.
I love Double D. Double D is a great highway.
Yep. That's where I grew up. That's the farm I grew up at.
I lived in Belton, but that was our farm.
Double D is to the south, over kind of near the Amarujis, right?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yep.
I grew up going hunting down to Amarujis with my grandfather.
The Amarujis are a weird little patch of hills out in the middle of nothing.
How they got their name Amarujis is, do you know how they got their name?
Uh, shit.
My grandma and grandpa told me years ago, and I cannot remember.
Okay.
Because our family farm has been there since, oh shit, 60s.
Is it still there?
No.
Uh, shit. Grandma and grandpa both have passed, and we sold off the farm.
Oh, that's too bad. That's great land in Cass County.
But grandma and grandpa are buried right down the road, man.
They're buried down on Double D.
They're on Double D. Oh, is that that little crossroad cemetery?
No, it's literally in a field.
Oh, okay.
But there's a cemetery, yeah, you gotta know how to get to it.
Okay, forget it. Okay.
The Amarujis got their name, and there's another way too, but I forgot what it is.
But the conservation area over there is called the Amaruji Conservation Project.
Yeah, yeah, me and grandpa used to go turkey hunting out there.
Yeah. Oh, that place is loaded with turkey.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. I'll tell you what, you're talking about a real treat.
Is wild turkey. Not only the drink, but the food.
No, I know you said, yeah. Wild, tame turkey.
They follow that creek bed right in the middle of the ladder.
They follow that creek bed, and you can catch them, but the turkeys are really smart,
because they use that creek bed to wash their scent off, and the dogs get lost.
Yeah. Yeah, they're pretty smart.
People think turkeys are dumb. No, they're a very smart bird.
They are, they are. Yep.
Okay, next one, all get out.
Use as an emphasis, such as, it's hot as hell, it's hot as all get out today.
Yeah, I've heard it used like that too.
Yeah, for years.
This next one, I always make fun of, and I always go, what in hell in Tarnation's going on here?
Tarnation.
Tarnation. I think it originated from North Carolina and the Tar Heels.
But someone used it as an expletive, an expletive shout, maybe, or something.
Tarnation kind of means like shit, or fuck, or damn.
I don't know, but I used to hear it on my grandma and grandpa's farm.
I used to hear it on Hee Haw.
Oh yeah, yeah, Hee Haw.
Yeah. Yep.
Yeah. Yep, I remember that.
Okay, next one, Coke.
It's soda pop. Doesn't matter what brand.
I don't care if you clearly see Dr. Pepper, or you clearly see 7-Up, or whatever you see.
It doesn't matter. It could be a 7-Up in the corner.
The person will go, hey, go get me that Coke over there.
Have you witnessed that? I have.
Doesn't matter what it is. It's a Coke. If it's in a can.
Yeah.
Now that you mention it, yeah, I've never given any thought, but yeah.
If it's in a can or a bottle, and it's a soft drink, to some people it's a Coke no matter what.
Yeah.
So yes, yep, that's very true.
Next one, Over Yonder.
I've heard that one for years.
It simply means over there. That's all it means.
Yeah.
There's no other explanation.
So if some of those, hey, did you see where they parked that car? Over Yonder.
It just means over there.
So they point over there. They're going over there only. They're saying it in the southern term.
Over Yonder.
So, alright, the next one.
But if you're southern, over yonder, it could be 20 miles.
It could be. And that's where it really gets confusing.
Yeah, that's where it gets confusing.
Yeah, it's like, hey, what are they doing on that rafting amp?
Over Yonder. They're like looking around.
Looks like a hang field to me.
Oh, no, no, no. Over Yonder. Way over yonder.
Oh, you mean like, what, 20 miles over yonder? Yeah.
Okay, that over yonder.
Next one, Whippersnapper.
I think that's evolved. I think that evolved into everybody's talk.
Don't you think? Don't you think most people on the road...
They had Whippersnapper on gun smoke.
Yep, they did.
Back in the 60s.
Yep.
Larry Green.
Cone, what was his name, Little Bob or whatever.
Whippersnapper.
I don't know.
Hoss.
Whippersnapper describes an overly ambitious youngster that needs to be put in his place.
So let's say Rob is a young man.
Okay, Rob Redd is a young man.
He comes up there in his short pants and he goes, hey, give me a wrench, man.
I'm going to fix this mower.
So the old man will go, hang on there, Whippersnapper.
So there you go. So Little Rob in his short pants has to walk off because the old man just put him in his place.
So next one is Buggy.
Do you know what a buggy means? I didn't know this.
No.
It's a term for a shopping cart.
According to this, that's all it means. Nothing else in southern slang.
Buggy is a shopping cart.
It's a shopping cart.
Okay.
Okay, that I knew. I thought you were coming up with something new.
No. That's why I brought it up like that is because I was wanting to come up with something completely different.
No, it's a shopping cart.
Next one.
I was going to bring that up. That's all.
Okay. You're right.
Next one, Dag Nabbit.
I've heard that before plenty of times.
It's like, shit, damn, you know, whatever.
It is an expression of frustration.
Next one.
And this has a lot of thought to it. Actually, it doesn't sound like it does, but it does.
Living high on the hog.
It means you're living well.
But high on the hog came from the cuts from the hog.
The higher the cut, like the pork shoulder and all that and the ham, is high.
Right. Right.
So if you said I'm living high on the hog, it means you got the good cuts. You didn't get the cheap shit.
And that evolved into, you know, doing well.
You know, just doing well financially, health-wise, whatever.
Next one.
Come hell or high water.
I've heard that plenty of times.
Oh, yeah, me too.
So, phrase used to express determination and preservance.
Preservance. Man, I can't fucking read tonight.
Well, wait a minute. I can't read any night, but it's worse tonight.
It doesn't help that my voice is trying to go out and I'm trying to like say these words really quick.
Okay.
Fiddle faddle.
I shouldn't get mushy food.
Nope. To explain something silly.
Oh.
Yeah, that's what I say.
Fiddle faddle sounded to me like...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or it sounded like those little cheese sticks with the pretzels or something.
Or maybe some Chex Mix.
Chex Mix with some M&Ms and some pretzels.
I don't know.
Okay.
Actually, I think there may be a packaged type of food like that called fiddle faddle.
I'm not for sure.
Next one.
Peckerwood.
Peckerwood, I honestly thought...
I had to explain to me was...
This is the way a black man described what they thought was a racist white person.
What?
That's the way I understood it through a friend of mine.
He was African American.
And he said that it was an old African American term they used to describe someone they thought was a racist piece of shit.
They called him a Peckerwood.
But this doesn't say that.
It's describing someone rather slow.
So maybe in his parts...
Okay.
Maybe in his parts that's what Peckerwood meant.
But here it means someone rather slow.
Well, I know back in like the 90s and stuff...
Uh huh.
Peckerwood meant you were a dumbass.
That's the way I knew it.
I had never heard that other terminology.
I've heard it like that too, yeah.
That's interesting though.
That is very interesting.
Next one.
Heavens to Betsy.
My grandma used to say that.
It's describing someone rather slow.
Oh no, fuck.
I'm sorry, my voice is going out and it's fucking freaking me out.
Okay.
It's making a big production out of nothing, carrying on.
That's what Heavens to Betsy means.
Next one.
And I haven't heard this one in a long time.
Good gravy.
Have you ever heard that?
That's the last I've heard that one.
It means surprise, odd, or knock on wood.
And also to ward off bad luck.
Next one.
Daisy Fresh.
Means you're absolutely sparkling clean, fancified.
Yeah, I think I was homesick one day and I was watching TV and heard that terminology.
And then finally, Benali's Gussied Up.
It means your Sunday clothes, your best clothes.
Yep.
Yep, and I knew that one.
So anyhow, we're going to be right back after this because I've got to clear my throat and hopefully quit coughing in your guys' ear.
And I'll come with a story that was off.
Sounds great.
All right, we'll be right back.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.
It's strange insults from an alien.
Real hilarity.
I will rescue.
My mom told me to not burn trash.
Two emotionally disturbed dirtbags in a popsicle will be right back.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.
It's strange insults from an alien.
Real hilarity.
You are dressed like an assistant debate coach at an Ohio State Middle School.
Temporarily good.
We'll see where it goes.
I'm Mark.
I'm here too.
And I'm Rob.
OK.
You said you had something.
Go ahead.
Let me cover a story that we lost on our last episode.
Oh, sure.
Give your voice a minute.
How about that, buddy?
OK, that sounds great.
You'll remember it.
OK.
Charges against Alec Baldwin could be refiled as forensic reports shows trigger on gun using rust shooting had to be pulled.
Independent testing on the weapon used in a fatal shooting on the set of the film rust shows the trigger had to be pulled.
The gun fired normally and did not malfunction according to a report filed in court raising the possibility that charges could be refiled against after Alec Baldwin.
The fired evidence cartridge is the consequence of a normal hammer fall from the fully caught position of the hammer, a report compiled by forensic science services in Arizona states.
The report was filed as part of a defense motion on behalf of the film's armor. Hannah Guterres Reed, who is charged with tampering with the gun used in the shooting, as well as two counts of involuntary manslaughter.
Wow.
That's kind of serious.
Yeah, what it sounds like to me is they're going to try to use that to get leniency for her.
Mm hmm.
But no, what they're saying doesn't make sense to me.
He had to pull that trigger.
Yes.
But at the same time, he thought it was empty or blank or, you know.
I think what they're trying to do is not say that he tried to kill the person.
What they're trying to do is come up with manslaughter, which means your own ignorance and arrogance probably caused this guy to die.
Yeah, well, they're trying to transfer with tampering with the gun and involuntary manslaughter, which I feel is what Alex should have if nothing else, you know.
Yeah.
They should not get him for manslaughter. They should not get him for murder.
Well, Mike, if you're...
He did not know there was a bullet in that gun. He did not know there was a live round.
Here's what they're saying.
So what? He's being Alec Baldwin. He's being a neckcase.
Here's what they're saying about Alec Baldwin, and I'm just telling you what I'd read about it too is...
Yeah, yeah.
He did not do his due diligence. They say everybody does. When they do this, they do their due diligence.
They get in there and they look, and despite what people think, Brandon Lee was not killed because someone left a bullet in the gun.
No, no, it was not.
Yeah, it was literally a defect in the blank with some pieces of shrapnel that went to just the wrong spot of Brandon Lee and killed him instantaneously.
So that was, you know, that was an accident and couldn't be helped.
What they're saying here is Alec Baldwin was like, I don't fucking need to do this. I'm Alec Baldwin.
No, nothing's going to happen to anyone. And his own arrogance and defiance is what caused this man to be dead.
So that would equal out to manslaughter, right?
I think, in my opinion, I think he was being Alec Baldwin. He was just horse playing.
And there happened to be a bullet in there and he did not know it.
Well, let me ask you...
Therefore, I think it should be involuntary, Mon.
Okay, okay. Yeah, involuntary. Yeah, I agree with that.
Here's what I ask you, Rob. Let's say this was someone really close to you.
Right.
Would you go after Alec Baldwin? Would you sue him? I would.
Yeah.
I would, and not because I was on a big money search. I would sue him because I do believe his own arrogance led to this.
Part of it. Not out of it. Part of it. It took several different...
Like I said, his ego, knowing Alec Baldwin, he was jackassin' around, and that's supposedly what happened.
And also, he's notorious for not listening to anybody.
Yeah, and he pulled it out, was doing a fake shoot, and pulled the trigger and killed somebody.
Uh-huh.
I believe that. But I honestly believe we did not mean to do that.
No, I believe that.
I believe it was an accident.
I believe that too, yeah. I don't think he meant to. Why would he?
Right.
So, anyhow...
Well, maybe he'll think next time he does something stupid like that.
That is where I'm getting at.
Kind of like we teach our kids.
Yes. You sue the guy. He's gonna really learn a lesson.
There's stuff here where people are not really happy with him. He doesn't give a fuck. He doesn't care.
So, there's what? 30, 40 kids?
Yeah. Yeah.
No, I keep... Yeah. He's really in the middle for that now.
Well, he's not gonna give that much money up, I can tell you that.
Whoever's family this is, is they'd probably get maybe 100,000 from him.
I don't really see them getting much more than that, unfortunately, but that's where it is.
So, now, the production company, they might have deeper pockets than anybody to get.
Yeah.
Because they're the overseers of all of it. So...
Well, anyhow...
Okay.
Do you know about the Treasury Secretary, Janet Yellen?
She almost took a trip to China a little too literally.
Yellen said she was unaware that delicious mushroom dish she ordered at a popular Chinese restaurant
contained mushrooms that could be hallucinogenic.
I was not aware that these mushrooms had hallucinogenic properties, Yellen told CNN's Aaron Burnett.
I'll ring that later.
The Treasury Secretary said she read that if the mushrooms were cooked, that they do not cause hallucinations.
So, it does seem unlikely that the Biden cabinet official was trying to intentionally microdose.
CNN previously reported that following Yellen's visit to mushroom dish was saying that of Yixing,
Yaiwang, other locations across China.
So, anyhow, Wang means in and out in English.
But the Chinese chambers, no connection to the California burger giant, in and out.
Instead of animal style fries, Wang, I'm just going to call it Yang because...Wang, because of all the other names in front of...
Wang specializes in human food, according to CNN.
It was a popular cuisine in southwestern China with the hallucinogenic mushrooms.
Anyway, she said that...
These things are getting to be big.
Yeah, they are, again.
I hear about all over.
A lot of drug...like doing research for the podcast, a lot of the drug must, I read about, have the hallucinogenic mushrooms.
Yes. They're coming back with a vengeance, dude.
They are.
Yeah. Yep.
Anyhow, my voice is going to shit, dude.
I'm hearing it.
Yeah. I think maybe we ought to give the final thoughts. Do you have the final thought I do?
Yeah, go ahead and give me a big line-up.
Okay. Why?
Let's see.
Okay. If we don't let athletes bet on games they could influence, why do we allow Congress to invest in companies they regulate?
Good question.
Yeah.
Yeah, we won't let players bet on games they could influence.
So, yeah, how about Congress regulating all these companies that they invest in? It's not right.
So, anyhow, that's the final thought. Sorry about the quality of this and me hacking constantly.
Go ahead, Mark. Go ahead.
No, I was just apologizing for my voice. Go ahead, Rob.
Okay.
Life is easier in 2023 for a boy named Sue than it was in 1969.
All right, Godwin, the best.
Everybody have a good night.
I like that, too.
Thanks for listening to this abortion called My Fucking Voice. Love you guys. Keep listening. Take care. Bye.
And we'll be back.
I'm going to have some next time if my voice is even questionable.
I'm going to have fucking lemon and tea or something. I don't know. Some hot toddies.
Take care, everybody. Have a good night.
Good night.
Hey, where do they go? Where are the douchebags? Oh, my God. Someone took a dump in the corner. Oh, geez.
Glad they're gone. Let's just hope they don't come back. Man, that smells.