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Live from the historic River Market District in downtown Kansas City, Missouri,

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from the banks of the beautiful Crystal Blue Walkers of the Missouri River,

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it is Two-Poosh Bags and Microphone Podcast.

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Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper.

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It's strange insults from an alien.

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Real hilarity.

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Your IQ isn't even room temperature.

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All aware of the Amber Alert, right?

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Well, get rid of your disinfectants and rubber bedspreads, kids.

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It's the all-new Amber Heard Alert system.

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This fantastic early warning device helps one stay dry

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and rid of all those annoying mattress invoices.

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Simply hook up to Child Under Six or Psychopath and wait for the running water sound.

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This clever machine has three distinct settings.

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Bablin Brooks, Ocean Waves, and Roaring River for those close called.

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Order today and get a free Cinnabon Renuze It Cartridge.

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Hi everybody, Two-Poosh Bags and Microphone, I'm Mark.

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And I'm Rob.

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Alright.

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Okay.

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This whole first one right here was previously broadcasted

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and the file fucking flipped out on me.

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And I could not post it.

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So this is the lost episode, if you will, being re-recorded.

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The best to our knowledge, the best that we can remember.

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Well, who the fuck knows.

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Maybe we didn't do it, Rob.

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Maybe we were just fucked up and we thought we did.

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No, actually I've been trying to watch my sobriety.

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Oh, okay.

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Alright.

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Okay.

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Well, in that case.

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I was not drunk that night, I know.

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Okay.

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Well, in that case, we recorded it.

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And I don't know what the fuck I did.

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My fucking stupid thumbs or whatever fucked that whole thing up.

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And I could not get the file to play.

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So anyhow, here we are.

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But anyhow, remember, Phil, we're redoing it

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because that's how good we are, right?

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Yeah, yeah.

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Because I have my notes.

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I know what stories I did.

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And we're going to redo them.

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Yeah.

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Alright.

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So I don't know what we started on last time.

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But I'm going to start off on I-70.

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Remember the I-70 story?

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Yes.

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Yes.

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Okay.

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Alright.

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Now, I-70 between Kansas City and St. Louis is fucked.

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It's horrible.

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Right.

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Right.

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We're doing all that.

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Yeah.

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It's got all kinds of curves and hills and everything.

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And it was an early section of I-70 that was built.

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One of the earliest sections.

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It was really not very well managed.

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And there was probably a lot of corruption involved.

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Like, you know, hey, don't go through Edward's yard.

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You know, hey, swerve over here.

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Hey, buy this guy's property and all that.

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So the freeway is horrible.

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And it's two lanes all the way from the edge of Kansas City to the edge of St. Louis.

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It's two lanes.

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It needs to be three, probably even four.

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So they're going to add another lane.

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It's going to be three lanes.

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And one of the problems that goes on there is this right here.

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The truckers will try to pass another truck because there's one on the right.

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So a truck will try to get around the other truck, not knowing exactly where he's at or what's coming up.

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And all of a sudden he'll get on a hill or a curve and he'll slow down.

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So what happens is all of I-70 is going 50 mile an hour because the truck on the right is going 50 mile an hour

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and the truck on the left is going 50 mile an hour trying to pass him.

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But he couldn't do it because there was a hill there that he didn't realize was there.

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And this happens all the time.

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And it's bullshit because you're sitting there behind there.

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You should be going 70 mile an hour, probably a little bit more, and getting back and forth

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and not taking all day to get from Kansas City to St. Louis.

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So we've been needing this third lane for a long time.

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And I'm glad that they finally realized that they needed to put a little money towards it

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because we put enough money towards enough stupid shit.

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We can put it towards something for real.

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So anyhow, drivers will soon see at least three lanes on I-70 across the entire state of Missouri.

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New legislation will expand I-70 access the entire state to at least three lanes.

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Governor Mike Parsons with his new Casey Chiefs tattoo.

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And did you ever look that up like I asked you to?

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He got a new Casey Chiefs tattoo, which is nice.

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Okay, good.

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And it's on the side of his hand near his thumb.

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Okay, okay.

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You know how many people I've seen on Facebook with wearing their Casey Chiefs tattoos since they started winning?

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I know.

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I'm not impressed either.

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Our governor better.

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But for my homes, no one was putting a Casey Chiefs tattoo on them.

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No, our governor is better.

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Yeah, I would agree, since we are the only football team in the state of Missouri.

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So yeah, of course.

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And St. Louis, we invite you to jump on board.

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Be fans with us.

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I'm a Blues fan.

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We don't have a hockey team.

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I'm a Blues fan.

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So come on over.

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The water's warm.

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We'd love to have you.

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Hey, I'm at Lake of the Ozarks.

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I'm in between.

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We got Kansas City and we got St. Louis.

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Come on.

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Yeah.

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So let's all join together and agree the Chiefs fucking rule.

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So anyhow, Mike Parsons introduced a plan earlier this year.

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The work is expected to ease heavily congested travel between Casey to St. Louis.

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The work will start in St. Charles County and expand to Blue Springs.

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St. Charles is the extreme western edge of St. Louis and Blue Springs is the extreme eastern edge of Casey.

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On Monday, the governor held the ceremonial signing of House Bill number four, which provides money for the project.

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Back a few years ago, I traveled to Columbia a couple of times a week.

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And anyhow, I traveled there because of my old job, you know, that piece of crap place by the Blue River with the idiots in it.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, that place right there.

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So anyhow, oh, let's see.

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Let me write down.

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OK, let's see.

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What I call it here.

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Oh, that shitty little hole next to the Blue River full of two-faced liars and, in my opinion, many others according to state records.

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That's what I wrote down.

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But everybody knows I hate those motherfuckers and they can eat a fucking dick.

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Fuck you guys.

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So anyhow, like we said, this whole show is our opinion.

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Yes.

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That's your opinion, buddy.

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I don't say their name anyhow, not because I'm.

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I appreciate that.

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Yeah.

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I don't say their name because they don't hold any power over me.

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That's why I don't say their name.

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They could suck my fucking ass.

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I noticed that.

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I noticed that.

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Just talking to you off there.

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Yeah.

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I'm so much happier where I'm at and I get paid really well and they treat me well.

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And I see all the things that I should have had.

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I should have had there, but I didn't because they have other ulterior motives.

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And I mean, hell, they're fucking firing their family members.

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I mean, you know, you talk about fucking blood sucking.

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Oh, yeah.

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They'll eat their own.

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They'll fucking eat their own is what it is.

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So anyhow, people like that, I don't need to be around.

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And thank you, God, for getting me out of that.

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So anyhow, the problem is that part of I-70 is extremely old.

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It was not regulated so well.

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So the interstate was a victim of cost cutting and special interest.

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So there are many hills and sharp curves.

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In comparison, I-70 over the Colorado Rockies might be steep,

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but it's straight and the greater the hills are as good as could be done.

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You go out there to Colorado and it's a beautiful stretch of road.

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I mean, yeah, it has to have a high altitude.

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It's going over the Rockies.

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But I mean, then you go to that piece of shit in Missouri and it's like,

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they could do this in the Rockies, but they couldn't do that here.

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But I mean, in my opinion, I need to just bulldoze the whole fucking I-70

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and come up with a new one because it's a...

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OK, I got a question.

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Yeah.

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What the hell are you going to do with I-70 across Kansas

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to make it more interesting?

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Hmm.

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I'm going to say like every 200th car gets crushed by a boulder.

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Ha ha ha ha!

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Dude, that's flat straight away, man.

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That's the most boring drive.

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Well, I mean, that would make it interesting, right?

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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We're the ones going to come up with the boulders.

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It's flat.

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Yeah, you know what?

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We'll figure it out.

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So yeah.

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Yeah, you go, OK, little Billy, now look up there

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and if you see somebody with a rock, you let me know.

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You're going to run out of nowhere?

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Yeah.

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On the side of your vehicle?

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Yeah, yeah, like, I don't know.

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Yeah, like big slingshots back behind the windmills.

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Ha ha ha ha!

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Yeah, kum!

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Oh, yeah!

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We'll come back to that.

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OK, OK, we'll figure that one out later.

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So the interstate is highly traveled by trucks.

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What happens is a truck will try to pass a slower truck in the left lane

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and it hits a large hill or a curve and it's heavily loaded truck,

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slows down and clogging its 70 mile-hour speed artery to 55 or slower.

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So anyhow, this is a great step, yes, but they shouldn't stop there.

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Originally a plan was going to turn US 36, US Highway 36,

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which goes the same route, it mimics I-70, but 60 miles to the north,

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determined into an interstate.

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It was mentioned and it would work perfect to halfway mark between I-70 and I-80.

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The Missouri stretch would be from Hannibal, the mighty Mississippi River,

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to St. Joseph, the big mighty Missouri River.

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Truckers could use this as an alternate route and then when they get to I-29,

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which would connect them both, they could go either way.

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They could go up and down there.

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Yeah, they could go either way.

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They could go to the north and go up to Omaha or Des Moines

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or they could go to the south.

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Like I told you, during 9-11, I was living in St. Joe and I come by the KCI airport.

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Yeah, oh yeah, I remember you calling it.

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Yeah, I was on 29.

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Yeah, wow.

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Yeah, that was my everyday route, man.

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Yeah, that would have been freakier than hell, driving by KCI

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and seeing all the planes just fucking, like you said,

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they're just like in air buzzing around circling because they didn't know what the hell was.

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That was, it's what, like a half hour from St. Joe, half hour, 45 minutes, something like that.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, well I had just watched all this stuff on film on my TV at home

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and I'd get my truck and go ahead and go to water and I'm driving by with it as well.

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We were there maybe an hour and we, this is the first time I've been,

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I was doing all these work, all these maintenance.

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Oh yeah, you were telling me that, yeah.

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Yeah, and we were on, there was water or whatever, anyway.

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Yeah, it was the first time my buddy's life, he ever said, let's go home, let's be real famous.

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So I was like, wow, 9-11 was a big thing.

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Oh yeah.

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To everybody, everybody.

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Everybody remembers where they were at when they found out about it.

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Yeah, everybody remembers.

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I was at the sheet metal shop job that I had when I first broke out of the apprentice school

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and my buddy Dave come up to me and goes, man, he goes, hey, you hear what's going on in New York?

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I'm like, no, he goes, yeah, he goes, there's a plane.

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And I was thinking a commuter plane.

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I wasn't thinking a regular airline jet that flew people on routes.

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I wasn't thinking that.

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I was thinking like a commuter plane, oops, oh shit, boom, you know.

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Then when I went upstairs to the safety room to take a look at it, I was like, oh shit.

249
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:26,000
I was like, I wonder if that's air traffic control, electronics, or terrorism.

250
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:33,000
And right when I got there, they showed the second one hitting and I'm like, that is terrorism.

251
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:38,000
So anyhow, and the rest is history, as course, as we all know.

252
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:43,000
So anyhow, I'm all for this.

253
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:46,000
They can't make this extra lane fast enough.

254
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:53,000
And like I said, I mean, I would, I wish they would just tear the fucking thing, all the hills and everything,

255
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:57,000
just tear it up and redo it would be the best thing to do.

256
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,000
Do what you have to do.

257
00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:59,000
Yeah.

258
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,000
But that's probably never going to happen.

259
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,000
It costs too much money.

260
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:06,000
So they got to accept the shoddy design and workmanship forever.

261
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:09,000
They're just going to add a lane and I guess that'd be good enough.

262
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:17,000
But I wish they would, I wish they'd make US 36 to the north and interstate two, and then we would be safe.

263
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,000
We've talked about this.

264
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:23,000
Yes, I know, I know 36 very well.

265
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:36,000
And I agree, but you got to realize on one side of 36, you got the railroad.

266
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,000
Yeah.

267
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:41,000
So how do you expand on that side?

268
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,000
OK, 36.

269
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:47,000
Like I said, I know I've traveled up and down 36 many times.

270
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,000
There's ways to do it.

271
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,000
You do it on the opposite side of the railroad.

272
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:54,000
I mean, the thing is, the biggest thing is...

273
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:58,000
You just have to buy more farmland on the other side.

274
00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,000
Yeah, the biggest thing is...

275
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:04,000
And make those two lanes one way and then build two lanes going the other way.

276
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,000
That's all you could do.

277
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,000
Yeah, but I don't think that's going to happen.

278
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,000
They're not even talking about now.

279
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:13,000
They're just putting the third lane in and going, there you guys go, now shut up.

280
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:16,000
Yeah, I mean, they got a lot of farmers.

281
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,000
They got to go through to get that done.

282
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,000
Yeah.

283
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,000
A lot of property buy.

284
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,000
Yep.

285
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,000
I mean, I'm like you.

286
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:26,000
I would love to see 36 become the major highway.

287
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:32,000
Yeah, because if you're going to Chicago, that would probably be the best route from

288
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,000
Kansas City if you're driving.

289
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:38,000
If 36 was an interstate, you zip up there...

290
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:41,000
And you just lose a little north, get off I-70.

291
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:45,000
Well, Chicago's a little to the north, so yeah, no, it would run perfectly.

292
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,000
Yeah, 36.

293
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,000
Yeah.

294
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:51,000
And then you go into 50 interstate, 50.

295
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,000
Oh, well, it doesn't matter.

296
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,000
So anyhow...

297
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,000
Yeah, I know what you mean.

298
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,000
Yeah.

299
00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:01,000
So anyhow, Rob, I want to switch courses here.

300
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:04,000
We've talked about the interstate 70 enough.

301
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:11,000
So do you know anything about Hanna, Canada?

302
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,000
I think it's in Ontario, but I'm not for sure.

303
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,000
I never did look.

304
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:20,000
Hanna, Ontario is the home for Nickelback.

305
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,000
Remember them?

306
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,000
Okay, okay, okay.

307
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:33,000
Well, it appears that the Nickelback signs on the interstates going into Hanna, Canada

308
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,000
are being removed.

309
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,000
Yeah.

310
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:40,000
What signs are being removed?

311
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,000
The Nickelback signs.

312
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,000
It says, welcome to Hanna.

313
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,000
The hometown signs.

314
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,000
The hometown signs are being removed.

315
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,000
Okay, keep going.

316
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,000
I'm going to...

317
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,000
Okay.

318
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:56,000
The community is about 220 kilometers northeast of Calgary, and they removed the three signs

319
00:16:56,000 --> 00:17:00,000
in May declaring it was proud to be the home of Nickelback.

320
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:07,000
The signs at the three highway entrances into Hanna had been there since 2004, and they

321
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:12,000
were a popular pullover place where people would go there like mug for it and like, hey,

322
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,000
home of Nickelback.

323
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,000
Wee, wee, wee.

324
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,000
Woo, woo.

325
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,000
Waka, waka, waka.

326
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:25,000
So, yeah, everyone's taking their selfies and doing their fucking TikToks and what have

327
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,000
you.

328
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,000
I'm glad it's so urgent.

329
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:30,000
I think you did that same sound on the one we lost.

330
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,000
I think I did too.

331
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,000
Wee, wee, waka, waka, waka.

332
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,000
Wee, wee, waka, waka.

333
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,000
Anyway, go ahead.

334
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,000
So anyhow, they removed them all.

335
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:36,000
It's a good thing.

336
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:45,000
People are questioning, why did you take the Nickelback signs?

337
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:50,000
And they said, well, they said they were rotting out and they needed to be replaced.

338
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,000
They said, okay, great.

339
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,000
When are they going to be replaced?

340
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:57,000
And they said, well, we're probably not going to replace them.

341
00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:05,000
So then everyone did not go, wee, wee, waka, waka, waka.

342
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:09,000
They went, no more Nickelback sign?

343
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,000
No more Nickelback sign.

344
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,000
So anyhow.

345
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:21,000
Honestly, honestly, I was a bigger fan of their presence three doors down.

346
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,000
Yes.

347
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,000
Yeah.

348
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:28,000
I never was a Nickelback fan at all.

349
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,000
I always thought they were cheesy fucking.

350
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:35,000
Okay, some of their songs I like.

351
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,000
I like but not love.

352
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:42,000
But like I said, between them and three doors down.

353
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,000
Yeah.

354
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:46,000
I prefer three doors down any day.

355
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:50,000
Well, three doors down kind of took over.

356
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:59,000
That's why I'm saying, our next genre coming up in music, for classic rock, we're in trouble.

357
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:03,000
I don't even know if there's going to be classic rock, Rob.

358
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:09,000
Well, they got to have whatever play that decade.

359
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:14,000
I mean, we're coming up on Nickelback.

360
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,000
Just saying.

361
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,000
No, no, no, no, no.

362
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:20,000
I agree.

363
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:26,000
Hopefully we keep our stuff going thanks to this podcast.

364
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,000
Yeah.

365
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,000
You know what?

366
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,000
I'm saying that we can scream for more Nickelback.

367
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,000
That will be our plight.

368
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,000
No, I want less Nickelback.

369
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,000
No, me too.

370
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,000
I'm joking.

371
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,000
I want more three doors down.

372
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,000
No, I was being a dick.

373
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,000
Yeah, I agree.

374
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,000
Okay, okay.

375
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,000
Okay.

376
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:53,000
So anyhow, it sounds to me like they are erasing themselves from the whole Nickelback equation.

377
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:59,000
I'm not a rocket scientist and I'm no expert and I don't play one on TV either.

378
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:07,000
But it sounds to me like they don't want anything to do with Nickelback anymore.

379
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:17,000
Like I said, a lot of people, like your opinion you just gave me about a lot of people, they're like, big deal.

380
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:24,000
No, you know what? It doesn't mean anything to me. It's just kind of odd that why in this stage?

381
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:31,000
They started off out of the gate strong. They just couldn't finish strong is the way I looked at it.

382
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:38,000
Well, what I'm asking in is what caused their hometown to do this?

383
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:42,000
I mean, Nickelback hasn't done anything stupid here that I know of.

384
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:52,000
I mean, Chad Kroger didn't go out and touch kids or fucking go drunk and smash into a bunch of children or something.

385
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:55,000
Well, they haven't had one in a long time.

386
00:20:55,000 --> 00:21:01,000
I'm not saying that at all, Mark. What I'm saying is what was the last hit they had?

387
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:05,000
Rockstar.

388
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,000
And that was how long ago?

389
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:11,000
Oh, early 2000s. Easily.

390
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,000
You see where I'm going with this?

391
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:17,000
Millennials were still in short pants and diapers at that point.

392
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,000
Yeah.

393
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,000
Weren't you guys?

394
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,000
Now we're on Gen Z.

395
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,000
Yeah, that's right.

396
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,000
We're talking like how many years there?

397
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,000
Yeah, yeah.

398
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,000
Almost 20 years.

399
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,000
So anyhow, Nickelback, we're very sorry.

400
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:38,000
And as a matter of fact, I'm going to see if Kansas City can't put up a complimentary sign for you guys.

401
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:42,000
Where do you think we should put it up here?

402
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:51,000
I think the men's room at Sidekicks Saloon.

403
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:55,000
It's a Western-themed gay bar is my understanding.

404
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,000
I think it needs to be put up in the urinal.

405
00:21:57,000 --> 00:22:01,000
I was changing up by Liberty Memorial.

406
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:07,000
How about two of them? One at Liberty Memorial and one in Sidekicks in the urinal section?

407
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:11,000
Yeah, I mean Liberty Memorial gets along with your action.

408
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,000
Yes. There you go, Nickelback.

409
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:16,000
That is us saying thank you to you.

410
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:19,000
We're going to help you. We're going to help you get back on your toes.

411
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,000
That's right, Mr. Chad Kroger.

412
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:22,000
That's right.

413
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,000
Of Hannah, Canada.

414
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,000
We're going to help you.

415
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:30,000
You're welcome. You are welcome.

416
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:34,000
And the world, don't mention it.

417
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,000
It's fine.

418
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:39,000
We'll tone the line for all of you.

419
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:43,000
Because that's what we do at Two Deuce Bags and Microphone.

420
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,000
We give, right?

421
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,000
We help anybody and everybody.

422
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,000
That's right.

423
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,000
That's our philosophy.

424
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:52,000
Every time we get on the air, what do we say right before it?

425
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:55,000
Let's help. Let's give.

426
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,000
Yes.

427
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,000
Yes. Yes.

428
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:03,000
All right. We're going to return with Dear Deuce Bag's letter.

429
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,000
Awesome.

430
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,000
All right. See you fucks in a minute.

431
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:09,000
As much fun as an electric can opener to the scrotum.

432
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:12,000
Two Deuce Bags and a Microphone.

433
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:19,000
Hello. This is Satan.

434
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:24,000
You might know me from my pet name, Inflation.

435
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:28,000
I'm here to tell you that there's no better way to relax than

436
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:35,000
listening to Two Deuce Bags and Microphone by a nice warm fire at night.

437
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:40,000
I sit there and I reflect on all the souls I burned that day.

438
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,000
Enjoy.

439
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,000
Bye.

440
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:49,000
Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper.

441
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:52,000
It's strange insults from an alien.

442
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,000
Real hilarity.

443
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:59,000
You look like you smell like cheese.

444
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,000
Dear Abby, not quite.

445
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:15,000
You have questions, we have answers.

446
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:19,000
They're not very good answers, but we have them.

447
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:24,000
All right. Here we are again, Two Deuce Bags and Microphone.

448
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,000
I'm Mark.

449
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,000
And I'm Rob.

450
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:30,000
All right. As before mentioned, we have a Dear Deuce Bag's letter.

451
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,000
Can you believe that, Rob?

452
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,000
Awesome.

453
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:35,000
People still write in to us.

454
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,000
I love them.

455
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:41,000
Yeah. Every time I get a warm feeling, every time I read a Dear Deuce Bag's letter,

456
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:45,000
I go, you know, people trust us and they care.

457
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:48,000
So everybody, all of the audience, come here.

458
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:50,000
I respect our advice, man.

459
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,000
Yes. I want a big hug from everyone.

460
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,000
I don't have two Deuce Bags.

461
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,000
We're just two Deuce Bags.

462
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,000
Yeah. It's a moniker.

463
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,000
So hang on, hang on, Rob.

464
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:03,000
Let's all have a hug from the audience right now.

465
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:04,000
Okay?

466
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,000
Let's take a second hug.

467
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:09,000
All right, everybody, come on.

468
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:13,000
Come on, squeeze tighter.

469
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:17,000
Oh, thank you, guys.

470
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,000
That was great. That was great.

471
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:24,000
See? See how much better we feel?

472
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,000
Yes. I feel so much better.

473
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

474
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:28,000
Okay.

475
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:32,000
Dear Deuce Bags, I live in a fourplex.

476
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:37,000
We, as in myself and girlfriend, we love it here and do not want to move.

477
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:44,000
But a particularly troubling problem has reared its ugly head.

478
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:51,000
A not so attractive woman moved in below us the first of the year.

479
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:58,000
She seems to be really sweet, but she has a horrible issue with loud sex noises.

480
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:04,000
The sex noises are attributed to electric sex toys.

481
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:12,000
First, the unmistakable hum and vibration, then soon after the moans of mechanical love.

482
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:17,000
Now, if this was once a week, we could probably tough it out.

483
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,000
But every night...

484
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,000
What's your name?

485
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,000
It doesn't say here.

486
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,000
Damn it.

487
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,000
You know what? Come up with a name, Rob.

488
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,000
No, I'm not going to go in.

489
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:29,000
Okay. All right.

490
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:32,000
So, okay, this is once a week.

491
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:36,000
We could probably tough it out every night, but not every night for over an hour.

492
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:41,000
It's like being forced to listen to two fuck nuts in a recorder every night and can't shut it off.

493
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:44,000
Now, okay, look.

494
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,000
We don't support that.

495
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:49,000
We love two fuck nuts in a recorder.

496
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,000
They're my brother's show.

497
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:55,000
Yeah, we want them to come on the show, but they keep dissing us.

498
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:57,000
We love you guys.

499
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:58,000
Two of us combined?

500
00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:59,000
Yeah.

501
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,000
At least one show.

502
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:01,000
Let's get together.

503
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:02,000
I think we make good...

504
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,000
I think I'm going to get show.

505
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:05,000
I think so, too.

506
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:10,000
I just want them to tell me who's fuck nut one and who's fuck nut two.

507
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:13,000
I don't even know who's what.

508
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:16,000
They're really quite a mystery.

509
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:17,000
And also, the rumors...

510
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:19,000
Well, the whole thing is here.

511
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,000
For what I understand, the rumors are true.

512
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:25,000
So, we'll get to that if we can ever get them on air.

513
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,000
All right.

514
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:28,000
Yeah, yeah.

515
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:29,000
So, anyhow...

516
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:30,000
We'll come there.

517
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:31,000
Yeah.

518
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:32,000
So, two fuck nuts, we love you.

519
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:33,000
We don't know what the deal is.

520
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:34,000
We want you to come.

521
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:39,000
We want you to come over here, and we want you to be a part of our program.

522
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:43,000
There's nothing else we can do, Rob.

523
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:47,000
We're offering our hand in love and peace.

524
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:48,000
Yeah.

525
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,000
Yeah.

526
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:50,000
So, anyhow...

527
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,000
I'm sure they hear bad things about us, too.

528
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:53,000
Yeah.

529
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:54,000
People probably go back to them and say...

530
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:55,000
We're not like that.

531
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:58,000
People probably go back to them and lie and say we bad mouth them and stuff.

532
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,000
We love you guys, two douchebags.

533
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,000
We got to listen.

534
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:02,000
Hey, hey.

535
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:03,000
Yes.

536
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:04,000
We got proof.

537
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:05,000
Listen to us.

538
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:06,000
Yeah.

539
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,000
So, again, I'm going to send this down to the recording studios.

540
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:15,000
I think they're recording in a basement in Buckner, Missouri.

541
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:16,000
Oh!

542
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,000
Yeah.

543
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:22,000
Yeah, you know Buckner over there near the Missouri River on 24th Avenue?

544
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,000
Yeah, yeah.

545
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:25,000
I know she's doing her recording there.

546
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,000
Yeah, yeah.

547
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:30,000
We understand that they're recording in a basement in Buckner, Missouri.

548
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,000
So...

549
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:34,000
Hey, we're all Missouri boys, man.

550
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:35,000
Yeah.

551
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:36,000
We got to get along.

552
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,000
So, come on, two fuck nuts.

553
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:38,000
Come on over, man.

554
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:39,000
We're ready for you.

555
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:40,000
We love you guys.

556
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:41,000
So...

557
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,000
Just one podcast.

558
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,000
We'll sign some...

559
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:44,000
Yeah, yeah.

560
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,000
Let's cross-part.

561
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:46,000
We'll combine the two.

562
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:51,000
Yeah, we understand you have a good little audience and so do we.

563
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,000
Let's combine them both.

564
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:59,000
So, anyhow, please help us sign Self Love Hell in Fort Lauderdale.

565
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:00,000
Oh, yeah!

566
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:01,000
How about that?

567
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:02,000
Oh, damn.

568
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:03,000
Oh, we love our audience.

569
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:04,000
Another nice guy.

570
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,000
Mm-hmm.

571
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:08,000
Well, they come up with some names now.

572
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:11,000
You know, most of them are in Florida.

573
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:14,000
What up with that?

574
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:19,000
Florida's just full of a bunch of transplants.

575
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:20,000
I don't know.

576
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:21,000
I don't know either.

577
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:22,000
Well, anyhow...

578
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:23,000
Yeah.

579
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:28,000
I mean, we've heard in the graphics.

580
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:29,000
Yeah, yeah.

581
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:30,000
Yeah, so...

582
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:35,000
Because of what?

583
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,000
Yeah, Florida Lauderdale.

584
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:37,000
Well, you know what?

585
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,000
We love the people down there.

586
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:40,000
Yeah, that's good.

587
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:41,000
That's good.

588
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,000
We love Florida.

589
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:43,000
Yeah, we love the people.

590
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:44,000
Yeah.

591
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:47,000
Now, Florida was a hotbed that was growing fast, but it's slowed down a little bit now.

592
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:53,000
I mean, we still have a lot of listeners there, but it's not growing as rapidly as it was.

593
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:58,000
We went over the last podcast about the areas that are really being hot spots.

594
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:03,000
So, self-love in Florida Lauderdale, or...

595
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:09,000
Anyhow, well, this is a very sensitive problem that will take baby gloves to hopefully sort

596
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:10,000
out.

597
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:13,000
One, grab a megaphone and open up a window.

598
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:19,000
When this self-pleasure starts, counteract every scream of passion with vulgar anal sex

599
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:20,000
commands.

600
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:26,000
People will hear the both and assume she is into lewd, nasty sex.

601
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:29,000
I'm betting she will quiet down very quickly.

602
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:32,000
It's a pretty good idea.

603
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:35,000
Well, if she's moaning, you go, yeah, bitch, take it right there.

604
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:38,000
Yeah, yeah, you want that toaster in your ass?

605
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:39,000
Is that it?

606
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:40,000
Oh, yeah.

607
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,000
And then she's over there going, ah, ah, ah, ah.

608
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:44,000
You know?

609
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:45,000
Hey, how about this desktop?

610
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,000
You want that in your asshole?

611
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:48,000
Ah.

612
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,000
She quit really quick, don't you think?

613
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:52,000
Yeah.

614
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:57,000
I think that's sound advice, I think that's really good advice.

615
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:02,000
How can you go wrong with that?

616
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,000
Okay, number two.

617
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:05,000
Recorders...

618
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,000
I'm ready to tell you a story.

619
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,000
Okay.

620
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:11,000
Recorder sex noises on a loop.

621
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:16,000
If you can hear it, the FCC says you can record it, and that is true.

622
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:23,000
Everything you can hear with your ear or any type of an instrument is yours.

623
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:26,000
You can record it and do whatever you want with it.

624
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,000
Did you know that?

625
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,000
Yes, yes, I do know that.

626
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:36,000
If you're walking down the road and you hear sensitive material from some place that some guy works at,

627
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:39,000
and you pick it up and you can record it, it's yours.

628
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:40,000
Yeah, exactly.

629
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:43,000
Especially if you pick it up through a wall.

630
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:44,000
Yep.

631
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:45,000
Yep.

632
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:52,000
Every time you leave your home, play the loop as loud as possible by an open window with disclaimers about the neighbor's voice.

633
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:58,000
So you play the loop of her screaming, and then you do a disclaimer,

634
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:04,000
this is so-and-so, this is not us, this is the sound of so-and-so, which is good advice.

635
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:08,000
Yeah, that might squel her a little bit.

636
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:17,000
Number three, send her a signed copy of Sex Yourself, the Woman's Guide to Mastering Masturbation.

637
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,000
I don't know why you want to do that.

638
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,000
That would just make her more efficient at it.

639
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:23,000
Maybe it will quiet her down.

640
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,000
Maybe she won't be so excited about the self-love.

641
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,000
I don't know.

642
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,000
It might make her quicker.

643
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:30,000
I love number four.

644
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:36,000
Number four is simple and actually probably the best suited answer.

645
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:40,000
Steal her batteries.

646
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:43,000
That'll work.

647
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:47,000
She goes to put them in the old fucking hopper there and nothing.

648
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,000
Ah!

649
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:50,000
So...

650
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,000
Okay, can I add one?

651
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:56,000
Yeah, go ahead.

652
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:57,000
Invite Brad over.

653
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:59,000
He's getting lonely.

654
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,000
There you go.

655
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,000
Can you get to Fort Lauderdale?

656
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:03,000
Okay.

657
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:05,000
Can you get to Fort Lauderdale?

658
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,000
Whatever.

659
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,000
Okay.

660
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,000
There you go.

661
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:10,000
You guys here?

662
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:11,000
Self-love Hell in Fort Lauderdale.

663
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:12,000
Get ahold of Rob Brand.

664
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:15,000
I'll take care of your neighbor for you.

665
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:16,000
Okay.

666
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:17,000
He'll also...

667
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,000
No, no.

668
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:19,000
Okay.

669
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:20,000
We'll find out when I get there.

670
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:23,000
Rob Brand will also take female body parts too, I guess.

671
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:28,000
It was mainly for male body parts, but he'll take female body parts too.

672
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,000
Yes.

673
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:30,000
Yes.

674
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:31,000
All right.

675
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:37,000
Okay, then the fifth and final answers, take the new blueboard insulation with the sound

676
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:40,000
proofing on the one side.

677
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:44,000
Take the material and tape it up on all the interior walls.

678
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:48,000
Hopefully this will knock it down enough to turn up two douchebags in a microphone.

679
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,000
Enough to drown her out.

680
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,000
If this doesn't work for you, well, best of luck.

681
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:53,000
I love that.

682
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:54,000
Yeah, that's what you do.

683
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:55,000
Better yet.

684
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:56,000
Better yet.

685
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:57,000
Yeah?

686
00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:01,000
That way we get both of her voices.

687
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:02,000
I think that's great.

688
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,000
Not just mine.

689
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:06,000
That is the best advice I think I've ever heard, ever.

690
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,000
Is?

691
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:08,000
Yeah.

692
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,000
Yeah, just, you know what?

693
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:16,000
Just blueboard and soundboard the hell out of your house and turn us up.

694
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:19,000
And get a big-ass stereo system.

695
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:23,000
Listen, you trust us enough for horrible advice, right?

696
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:26,000
Let us help you solve it.

697
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:27,000
Yeah.

698
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:28,000
We would never steer you wrong.

699
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:31,000
We just gave you a hug.

700
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:32,000
Right?

701
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:34,000
Oh, here you go.

702
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,000
Here you go.

703
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:36,000
Yeah.

704
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:39,000
It was a big on-air hug.

705
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:44,000
So, anyhow, all right.

706
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:48,000
Well, another well-helped person.

707
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:53,000
Let me find my little article that I kind of did some bullet points on that we went

708
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:56,000
over on the lost tape.

709
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:59,000
And let me see where it is at.

710
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:03,000
You got something you can throw in there, Rob, while I look for this?

711
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:04,000
Well, yeah.

712
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:05,000
Okay, here.

713
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:08,000
You were talking about Chad Kerber.

714
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:09,000
Yep.

715
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:15,000
This is not one of the ones off the one we lost.

716
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:17,000
I'm just going to throw this in the hell.

717
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:18,000
No, that's fine.

718
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:26,000
Okay, I'm not reading where in Missouri this happened.

719
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:34,000
Okay, Nickelback's Chad Kerber stops a band's Missouri concert mid-song.

720
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:36,000
Okay.

721
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:42,000
Nickelback released a new album last year, Get Rolling, and the band is coming in on

722
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:46,000
a North American tour in support of the record.

723
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:47,000
Oh, lucky us.

724
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:48,000
Last week.

725
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:53,000
Okay, now, this is saying 11 days ago.

726
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:55,000
I've had this one stored.

727
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:56,000
Okay.

728
00:35:56,000 --> 00:36:07,000
Last week, singer Chad Kerber and the band separate a bit of a hit-off during a live

729
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:16,000
show in Missouri when Kerber revealed to the audience he was struggling with vocal problems.

730
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:19,000
Hasn't he always been?

731
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:29,000
Well, we stopped throwing the band's first song to address the crowd, and this is quoted.

732
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:33,000
I cannot do this, he said.

733
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:40,000
I cannot say it with a fucking absolutely destroyed throat and try to make it through

734
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:47,000
the show and pretend like there's nothing fucking wrong and take your fucking money.

735
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:49,000
How did his throat get destroyed?

736
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:51,000
I don't know.

737
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:52,000
I don't know.

738
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:53,000
May we're on to something.

739
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:56,000
May we're on to something with putting their own...

740
00:36:56,000 --> 00:37:00,000
I'm having a hard time hearing fucking notes.

741
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:08,000
The doctor just jabbed me in the hip with some fortnizone, and we all crossed our fingers

742
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:12,000
backstabbing hoping this was going to work.

743
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:17,000
Okay, okay, I have questions right there.

744
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:18,000
Okay.

745
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:28,000
If you have problems with your throat, what the hell is a shocker hip with a fortnizone

746
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,000
going to do?

747
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:34,000
Okay, the fortnizone, it is...

748
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,000
Maybe something I don't know.

749
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,000
This just sounds stupid to me.

750
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:44,000
Fortnizone is a steroid, and I guess the doctor chose to shoot him in the hip, but a steroid

751
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:47,000
beefs up your system, including your voice.

752
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:53,000
I know this because I've had to take steroids for sinus infections and poison ivy before.

753
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:56,000
I have one replacing...

754
00:37:56,000 --> 00:38:00,000
I happen to be a legal tomb, allergic to it.

755
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,000
Oh, okay.

756
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:02,000
Not illegal, allergic.

757
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,000
Illegal tomb.

758
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:06,000
Watch out, it's fortnizone, I'm going to get arrested, man.

759
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,000
Let me the fuck out of here.

760
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:08,000
Fortnizone is on the other side of the bar.

761
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:14,000
Last time I had a steroid shot, I ended up in the day of New York.

762
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:15,000
Oh shit.

763
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:16,000
Yeah.

764
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:17,000
All right.

765
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:20,000
Well, okay, maybe you can't take it.

766
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:23,000
There's a lot of people that are allergic to steroids.

767
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:29,000
So what the doctor did was he tried to beef up his voice by a steroid, and it sounds like

768
00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:30,000
it didn't work.

769
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:34,000
So well, I mean, there's two things you could do.

770
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:37,000
You could cancel the concert, or you could just do what he did.

771
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:38,000
He chose to do what he did.

772
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:42,000
And either way, it's fine with me.

773
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,000
Because there's two schools of thought.

774
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:51,000
Some bands are too proud, and if their voice is bad, I mean, they just won't do it.

775
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:56,000
They'll go, you know what, we're not up to par, and we don't want to do anything sub

776
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:57,000
par.

777
00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:02,000
And then those other bands are like, you know what, you guys waited a long time, and we're

778
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,000
going to do the best we can, so bear with us.

779
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:08,000
It sounds to me like they're the latter, and they were trying to do it.

780
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:09,000
So okay.

781
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:12,000
I don't necessarily have a problem with that.

782
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:16,000
I like the honesty, going, hey, look, here's what's going on.

783
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:19,000
I just want to know how his throat got destroyed.

784
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:24,000
I don't know, but the story goes on.

785
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:26,000
Makes one wonder.

786
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:32,000
It's just insane how his throat got destroyed.

787
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:43,000
The next section says, guitarist Ryan Peake jokingly offered to sing the rest of the show

788
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:49,000
before Clover gave it another shot and finished the show.

789
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,000
Fuck it, he said.

790
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:54,000
Let's start this one over again.

791
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:57,000
I'm just going to give it all I've got.

792
00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:00,000
Okay, but here's what I understand.

793
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:04,000
It's not saying where in Missouri this concert happened.

794
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:08,000
Well, that's because whoever had him was embarrassed they were there.

795
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:15,000
I thought I would have come to Kansas City.

796
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:16,000
Just saying.

797
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:17,000
Oh, did they?

798
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:19,000
I thought I would have.

799
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:20,000
I wouldn't know.

800
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:21,000
I could be.

801
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:27,000
I only have my, on the internet everything that has to do with me, Facebook, Instagram,

802
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:31,000
everything is all geared towards what I like.

803
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:34,000
It will not have Nickelback's world tour on there.

804
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:37,000
It will have Woss' world tour.

805
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,000
It will have Glenn Yu's world tour.

806
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,000
It will have Inge Momstein's world tour.

807
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:46,000
It will not have Nickelback.

808
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:47,000
Just saying.

809
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:48,000
You agree with that.

810
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,000
I went to four three doors out.

811
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:51,000
They're cousins.

812
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:52,000
They're cousins.

813
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:53,000
All right.

814
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:54,000
Okay.

815
00:40:54,000 --> 00:41:03,000
Well, yeah, my estimation is whoever had him was embarrassed that they ever had him there.

816
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:04,000
So they're not telling.

817
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:09,000
That's probably the deal is like you can play here but you can't tell anybody.

818
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:10,000
Yeah.

819
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:19,000
I think they're playing in Montrose, Missouri.

820
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:20,000
Oh.

821
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,000
You know where that's at?

822
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:22,000
Yeah.

823
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:23,000
Yeah.

824
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:27,000
Well, that's the only reason why I know where Montrose is is my dad worked for Can't Say

825
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:28,000
Turn Light.

826
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:29,000
Oh, yeah.

827
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:30,000
Okay.

828
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:33,000
The Montrose power plant was owned by Can't Say Turn Light.

829
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:34,000
Yeah.

830
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:37,000
Nickelback played at the power plant.

831
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:38,000
Dude.

832
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:49,000
Yeah.

833
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:52,000
That's big time there.

834
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,000
Yeah, it is.

835
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:57,000
With the three headed fish.

836
00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:58,000
Okay.

837
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:03,000
Now we have just added some stuff that was not in the wall store.

838
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:04,000
Oh, shit.

839
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:05,000
Oops.

840
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:06,000
Hey.

841
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:07,000
Hey.

842
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:09,000
Everybody knows this is parody.

843
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:11,000
We talk it all the time.

844
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:13,000
We make shit up.

845
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:15,000
We're not to be believed.

846
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:16,000
That's us.

847
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:17,000
That's our nature.

848
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:20,000
We hope that's why you listen to us.

849
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,000
So anyhow.

850
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:27,000
The news story I just read is on the internet.

851
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:29,000
Just go read it for yourself.

852
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:30,000
That's right.

853
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,000
And if you'll read anything about Montrose, Missouri.

854
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:41,000
If you'll read anything about the power plant, then well, I guess I was lying, right?

855
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:43,000
That damn mark.

856
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:45,000
He sure is a prankster.

857
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:46,000
Boy.

858
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:47,000
What a real shuckster.

859
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:48,000
Oh, man.

860
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:49,000
No.

861
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:50,000
I vouch.

862
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:53,000
Montrose power plant exists.

863
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:54,000
Yes, it does.

864
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:55,000
It does exist.

865
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:59,000
With a campground and a lake.

866
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:00,000
Yes.

867
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:02,000
Just like Lacey in Kansas.

868
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:03,000
Same thing.

869
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:06,000
A lot of people fish those lakes.

870
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:07,000
Exactly.

871
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:08,000
Yeah.

872
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:09,000
See.

873
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:10,000
That's another Kansas City power plant place.

874
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:11,000
Yes, it is.

875
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:12,000
I guess they'll clean up in there.

876
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:13,000
Yep.

877
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,000
Oh, they have great campgrounds there.

878
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:18,000
I just don't need anything that comes out of that lake.

879
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:19,000
Yeah.

880
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:20,000
Yeah.

881
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:23,000
Imagine eating the fish out of it.

882
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:24,000
Yeah.

883
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:25,000
You can start glowing.

884
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:28,000
I used to water ski on them lakes.

885
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:29,000
Oh, wow.

886
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:30,000
Cool.

887
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:35,000
Did you get all that cold dust on you?

888
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:37,000
I don't know.

889
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:38,000
No, seriously.

890
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:45,720
If you camp for three days in Lacey and we'd always do primitive camping so we would smell

891
00:43:45,720 --> 00:43:47,000
by the third day, right?

892
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:52,000
Go home and take a shower really quick and there would actually be black coming out of

893
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:55,000
your hair from the dust in the air.

894
00:43:55,000 --> 00:44:00,000
I was like 14, 15 years old.

895
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:01,000
You didn't notice.

896
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:02,000
Okay.

897
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:03,000
Yeah.

898
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:07,000
And like I said, we were out in the boat.

899
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:09,000
Yeah, you're water skiing.

900
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:10,000
Cool.

901
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:13,000
That's a nice lake though at Lacey and I like that lake a lot.

902
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:16,000
And the cool thing is it never freezes over.

903
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:18,000
That lake never freezes over.

904
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:20,000
People fish there when it's 30 below.

905
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:23,000
There's people out there on a boat fishing.

906
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:30,000
Because the water that when it comes out of the power plant after they use it, it's hot.

907
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,000
Then it goes through a series of cooling off.

908
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:37,000
But by the time it hits the lake, it's warm enough to where it will not freeze.

909
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:38,000
All right.

910
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:39,000
Well, okay.

911
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:50,000
One of the things that I mentioned in the Lost Podcast was the night before, this was

912
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:55,000
recorded last, well, the original one that we're making up for was recorded last Wednesday.

913
00:44:55,000 --> 00:45:03,000
And I was talking about watching this series on Vice TV called Dark Side of the 2000s.

914
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:06,000
And anyhow, what is the rise?

915
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:10,000
Yes, and I have yet to catch it.

916
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:11,000
You need to.

917
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:14,000
I've got it right down right here.

918
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:15,000
Okay.

919
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:17,000
Is rise and fall of the shock jocks?

920
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:18,000
Yes.

921
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:19,000
Yeah.

922
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:25,000
So there's a lot of stuff that I took away from it.

923
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:29,000
And most of it already knew because I was into all this.

924
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:36,000
You know, I never took sides with a few, you know, like Mankow is always jabbing at Johnny

925
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:41,000
Dare and oh, Max Tannenbaugh and all that.

926
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:43,000
I was a fan of all the shows.

927
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:44,000
I liked all of them.

928
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,000
And you know, I had my favorites.

929
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:49,000
And the main John and Randy Miller.

930
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:51,000
Oh yeah, that was a huge one.

931
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:52,000
Yeah.

932
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:55,000
Actually, he might have been more into Randy Miller than he was Johnny.

933
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:58,000
But anyhow, it doesn't matter.

934
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:00,000
So I never really got on to the feud aspect of it.

935
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:04,000
I didn't really care what they all really thought of each other or whatever.

936
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,000
I just liked all the programs.

937
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:11,000
And I liked it because another reason is because whenever you have these syndicated shows,

938
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:19,000
the local shows beef up their shows so they don't lose any ratings points or try not to.

939
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:20,000
Right.

940
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:26,000
So anyhow, one of the things is it should have included Bubba the Love Sponge.

941
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:32,000
I couldn't believe the omission of him because Bubba was one of the biggest ones,

942
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:37,000
two times Billboard Morning Personality of the Year.

943
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:42,000
He's dominated and owned the ratings down in Tampa and all over Florida

944
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:45,000
and even done well all across the nation.

945
00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:51,000
And he had a bit of a feud with Howard Stern before Howard hired him on satellite radio.

946
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:56,000
And when they showed Howard going to satellite,

947
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:59,000
they didn't say anything about him picking up Bubba.

948
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:04,000
Because to me, the reason he picked up Bubba the Love Sponge was this right here.

949
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:14,000
It's because he needed someone to freshen up his channel because he knew he was old and boring.

950
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:19,000
And because here's the deal, he liked Bubba's show, yeah, because Bubba's show was good.

951
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:25,000
But he traditionally hated anybody, anybody, didn't matter who they were,

952
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:27,000
that was going against him anywhere.

953
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:32,000
He slammed them, said they were, you know, they were ripoffs, they watched him,

954
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:34,000
they used to tape him, all this stuff.

955
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:37,000
He'd have his own, you know, thing that he would say.

956
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:39,000
And this included Bubba.

957
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:46,000
So when he started his show, he hired Bubba for his auxiliary channel, Howard 101.

958
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:52,000
He was on Howard 100 and Howard 101 was, had like Scottie Furell, had Bubba,

959
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:56,000
and then had a couple other, but Bubba like held down the afternoon slot,

960
00:47:56,000 --> 00:48:00,000
the other coveted part of radio.

961
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:09,000
The morning and afternoon slots are the most, most monetary, you know, you get the most money from them.

962
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:13,000
So anyhow, this should include a Bubba.

963
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:18,000
Howard only signed him because his channel needed some, a little perk up.

964
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:21,000
So traditionally he hated everybody.

965
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:23,000
You know, this whole thing exposed Howard.

966
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:26,000
Howard looked as bad as a person could get.

967
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:30,000
He looked stingy, non-caring, or the people he worked with.

968
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:32,000
And it's true.

969
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:36,000
He, but I never did like him, so it didn't surprise me one bit.

970
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:43,000
You know, like I said, I liked aspects of Howard's show, like Captain Janks and Stuttering John,

971
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:48,000
and the characters, there was a lot of characters on that show that was really good.

972
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:55,000
This is Howard to me always sounded miserable and unhappy, and I'm pretty sure he was.

973
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:59,000
So Man Cal, Man Cal came off very well.

974
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:01,000
He showed maturity and emotion.

975
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:03,000
He should still be in the business.

976
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:06,000
Stern should not.

977
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:17,000
When I re-up my serious program, so, okay, what happened is I had a credit card

978
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:21,000
that had fraud on it from one of the places I frequent in one of the stores.

979
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:22,000
It could have been Target or something.

980
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:23,000
I'm not for sure.

981
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:24,000
Walmart, who knows?

982
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:26,000
Yeah, I think you told me about that.

983
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:27,000
Yeah.

984
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:31,000
So they had to get another credit card number from me.

985
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:35,000
So everybody knows that Serious Satellite Radio, you barter with them.

986
00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:37,000
You don't give what they automatically ask.

987
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:41,000
They're going to ask for 20 or 30 bucks a month, and you go, well, I can't afford that.

988
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:45,000
And then they go, okay, well, then they counter offer.

989
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:52,000
So anyhow, I was like paying 20, and then the guy said, well, you know, what if $7 a month for a year?

990
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:53,000
Okay, sold.

991
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:59,000
So I bartered with him, and then I went to the guy and said, hey, I only have one other problem.

992
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:03,000
Is there any way you can get Howard Stern's channel off of my fucking app?

993
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:10,000
He started laughing, and he didn't exactly say he agreed with me, but he kind of let on that he did.

994
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:14,000
He laughs sometimes and goes, yeah, I may or may not agree with you, but he goes,

995
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:16,000
unfortunately, there's nothing I can do about your app.

996
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:20,000
He said, my suggestion is ignore him as best you can.

997
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:21,000
I said, all right, okay.

998
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:25,000
But I did that for effect to get a point across that Stern sucks.

999
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:32,000
So anyhow, that was really good.

1000
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:36,000
I suggest people watch it if you care at all about stuff like that.

1001
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:39,000
Like I said, I'm a nerd of stuff like that, so I'm going to like it.

1002
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:47,000
Someone else might just be like, yeah, who gives a fuck about them or whatever, you know, rest in peace, shock jock or whatever the fuck you want.

1003
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:50,000
But anyhow, that's my deal.

1004
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:54,000
So I'm loving what we do, man.

1005
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:55,000
I do, too.

1006
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:58,000
I mean, we're not exactly doing what they did.

1007
00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:00,000
There's no way we could.

1008
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,000
We don't have the budget for that.

1009
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:03,000
Maybe not the talent.

1010
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:04,000
I don't know.

1011
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:05,000
You be the judge.

1012
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:14,000
So if you want to talk about shock jock, I'm doing this off the fly tonight because we agreed this morning we're going to do it tomorrow.

1013
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:16,000
Yeah, but tomorrow is my wedding.

1014
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:24,000
So with my wedding anniversary tomorrow, I'm glad you decided to go ahead and do it.

1015
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:25,000
Thank you.

1016
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:30,000
I would have gotten major issues if I did it tomorrow night because that is my wedding anniversary.

1017
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:33,000
So we are going out.

1018
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:36,000
I told you you got me any time now.

1019
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:38,000
All right, cool.

1020
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:47,000
Rob, we have is it the final four of the Harry Asshole Olympics?

1021
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:49,000
Yes, we do.

1022
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:52,000
Sir, this is on your table.

1023
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:54,000
So please without.

1024
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:56,000
Wait, hang on, hang on, hang on.

1025
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:57,000
Let's do a break.

1026
00:51:57,000 --> 00:52:00,000
Then we'll come right back with the Harry Asshole Olympics.

1027
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:01,000
OK.

1028
00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:02,000
All right.

1029
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:04,000
You guys got yourself a fucking deal.

1030
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:06,000
We'll be right back.

1031
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:09,000
That way you take a drink, quench your thirst.

1032
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:15,000
Go take a drink, quench your thirst and we'll be back.

1033
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:19,000
Invisible ass paddling, new douche flavors and horrible pranks.

1034
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:25,000
What the fuck is wrong with these guys?

1035
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:30,000
Well, guess they finally figured out the microphone, idiots.

1036
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:33,000
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

1037
00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:36,000
It's strange insults from an alien.

1038
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:38,000
Real hilarious.

1039
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:49,000
You have the personality of a soggy newspaper.

1040
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:52,000
We are two douche bags and a microphone.

1041
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:58,000
As charming as a leaky sewer pipe, two douche bags and a microphone says,

1042
00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:03,000
you ever dream about eating chocolate pudding and wake up with a spoon in your ass?

1043
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:25,000
Just asking.

1044
00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:29,000
Two douche bags and a microphone. I'm Mark.

1045
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:30,000
And I'm Rob.

1046
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,000
OK.

1047
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:40,000
Well, like we promised before, the final four Harry Asshole Olympics is upon us.

1048
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:41,000
Rob?

1049
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:45,000
And this narrows it down to a final two.

1050
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:47,000
Rob Radd, do you have your list?

1051
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:49,000
I wish the dogs would shut up.

1052
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:52,000
Anyhow.

1053
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:55,000
I have baby shooters for us.

1054
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:56,000
OK.

1055
00:53:56,000 --> 00:54:01,000
Rob, will you please bring out the coveted final four?

1056
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:06,000
I'm a drum. I'm no good at air drums. I'm sorry.

1057
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:08,000
This is as good as it gets.

1058
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:19,000
So Rob, please bring out the final four and present them to us and the audience.

1059
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:26,000
Our first battle for this evening, Dave Mustaine versus Madonna.

1060
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:29,000
Let's get the musicians out of the way.

1061
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:34,000
OK. Well, you brought up a very good point last time.

1062
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:38,000
Madonna wears some pretty skimpy outfits.

1063
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:44,000
So at one point or another, she will have to shave some of that fucking thick stache down there.

1064
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:45,000
Yeah.

1065
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:52,000
So I'm thinking at certain times she's going to have a very well-groomed asshole, where Dave Mustaine doesn't have to.

1066
00:54:52,000 --> 00:55:03,000
He makes groupies braid his asshole hair, his ginger asshole hair. That's how cool he is.

1067
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:06,000
Yeah.

1068
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:11,000
So I agree with you. I think he makes groupies take pictures of it.

1069
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:12,000
Yeah.

1070
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:13,000
I really do.

1071
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:16,000
I think you're right. He makes them take selfies with his asshole hair.

1072
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:18,000
Yeah. Yeah.

1073
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:24,000
And then put captions on it, Dave Mustaine's asshole hair next to my face.

1074
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:28,000
Yeah. OK. So Dave Mustaine, advance...

1075
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:31,000
Dave Mustaine got it. Bye bye, Madonna.

1076
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:34,000
See ya. Bye, you washed up whore.

1077
00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:35,000
Oh, did I say that out loud?

1078
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:38,000
Go back to your new spurtory.

1079
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:40,000
Yeah.

1080
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:44,000
All righty. What are the next pair up?

1081
00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:50,000
Oh my god. Oh my god, Dave.

1082
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:54,000
OK.

1083
00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:58,000
OK. We've got somebody that's been in it from the get-go.

1084
00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:02,000
Mm-hmm. And we have my wild card.

1085
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:03,000
Hey, Rog.

1086
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:06,000
Hey, Rog.

1087
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:11,000
And then we have your wild card honoring the giant.

1088
00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:18,000
OK. To me, this is an easy one, like I said last week.

1089
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:23,000
Hey, Rog is out there right now in 100 degree weather throwing the fucking ball around, right?

1090
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:26,000
He has a jock strap on, right?

1091
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:29,000
He's going to have to trim that shit up.

1092
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:31,000
Or shave it.

1093
00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:35,000
Because that shit is going to get very bad.

1094
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:38,000
It's going to get sweaty. It's going to knot up around the jock strap.

1095
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:40,000
And it's going to hurt like fuck.

1096
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:43,000
And it is the middle of August.

1097
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:48,000
Yes. So, you put Andre the Giant's white ass against that guy?

1098
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:54,000
Andre the Giant is killing him hands down.

1099
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:58,000
It doesn't matter what your rodent does during off season.

1100
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:00,000
No. No, no, no.

1101
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:03,000
We ain't going to survive without her.

1102
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:11,000
No. No. As a matter of fact, I mean, Andre the Giant, I don't see anyone that can go up against him right now.

1103
00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:13,000
Nothing in my vision.

1104
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:17,000
He might win the next rounds.

1105
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:28,000
Dude, I'm telling you, I had somebody that decided to put him off for the next round of area.

1106
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:31,000
Are you sure you don't want to put him against you? Never know.

1107
00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:35,000
No, no, man. This is bringing it down to our final two.

1108
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:38,000
Let's finish this one up. I'll bring this one in next time.

1109
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:39,000
Okay.

1110
00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:43,000
But I guarantee you, it's going to be hard to beat that one.

1111
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:47,000
Yes. So, the championship game consists of this.

1112
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:51,000
Dave Mustaine versus Andre the Giant.

1113
00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:53,000
That's my vote.

1114
00:57:53,000 --> 00:58:03,000
People, DoucheB66 at Yahoo.com. Throw in your vote. Throw in your vote.

1115
00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:04,000
Everybody vote.

1116
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:05,000
Your vote counts.

1117
00:58:05,000 --> 00:58:06,000
Douche.

1118
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:07,000
We'll listen to you.

1119
00:58:07,000 --> 00:58:14,000
DoucheB66 at Yahoo.com. That is our email.

1120
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:19,000
And as of the other day, I have taken down to douchebagsandmicrophone.net.

1121
00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:25,000
I still own the domain, but I've taken it down because I don't like it not ever working.

1122
00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:27,000
Oh, have you? Okay.

1123
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:28,000
Yes.

1124
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:29,000
Okay.

1125
00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:32,000
So, I don't think one person gets a chance.

1126
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:37,000
I was just telling somebody today about this, and he's going to check this out.

1127
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:38,000
Okay, good.

1128
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:40,000
So.

1129
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:47,000
Well, once we start broadcasting from the city market again, we're really, really getting a lot of clout there.

1130
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:50,000
A lot of people picking it up.

1131
00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:55,000
So, but anyhow, that's neither here nor there.

1132
00:58:55,000 --> 00:59:02,000
So, we look forward to our championship match on the next podcast coming up here in a little bit.

1133
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:07,000
But you won't hear it until next week.

1134
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:08,000
All right.

1135
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:09,000
All right.

1136
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:20,000
At any rate, so all right. You have any stories to rob before we close this one out and go to the next podcast?

1137
00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:23,000
Yeah, yeah, I'll go ahead and throw this out there.

1138
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:25,000
Okay.

1139
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:27,000
This is a story that got lost.

1140
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:30,000
And I've also got a final thought, too.

1141
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:40,000
That is coming up, I've been talking about the Lake of the Ozarks shootout, the unsanctioned boat race.

1142
00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:43,000
Yeah, yeah, we talked about it a few times, yeah.

1143
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:49,000
That is the weekend of August 26th, August 27th.

1144
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:54,000
And there's stuff that goes on around here all week before that.

1145
00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:59,000
It's the weekend before Labor Day weekend.

1146
00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:01,000
So it's coming up in like a week or so.

1147
01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:10,000
I'm going to put this down real quick because the article I saved ain't pulling up, but I can, yeah.

1148
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:24,000
Well, the non-sanctioned boat race was the world's largest, if nothing else, largest in the nation.

1149
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:27,000
Unsanctioned boat race.

1150
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:36,000
Well, this year, for the 35th year, they have actually added a sanctioned boat race.

1151
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:39,000
Really?

1152
01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:47,000
It's, they call it the Kilo event.

1153
01:00:47,000 --> 01:00:51,000
I guess it's a class of boat racing.

1154
01:00:51,000 --> 01:01:04,000
APBA slash UIM kilos will be held from 1.30 to 4.30 Sunday, August 27th.

1155
01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:07,000
Okay.

1156
01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:14,000
So, yeah, you have to register, you've got to be in that class.

1157
01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:15,000
Okay.

1158
01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:22,000
Like I said, I don't have, it pulled something totally different up on me here.

1159
01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:24,000
It pulled up now and out of rest.

1160
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:25,000
I think you gave enough.

1161
01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:26,000
I mean, yeah.

1162
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:28,000
Okay, so if anyone's interested, that's where you go.

1163
01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:30,000
So, check it out, everybody.

1164
01:01:30,000 --> 01:01:36,000
Finally, there is a sanctioned race at this after 35 years.

1165
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:38,000
And this has been a big thing in the state of Missouri.

1166
01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:40,000
Yes, it has for quite a while.

1167
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:43,000
I remember when I was young, that was going on.

1168
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:49,000
Now, we have pontoons racing well over 100 mile an hour.

1169
01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:52,000
It's pretty interesting, too.

1170
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:56,000
We get offshore racers through this.

1171
01:01:56,000 --> 01:02:00,000
They run well over 200 mile an hour.

1172
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:03,000
Yeah, it's crazy.

1173
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:04,000
That is.

1174
01:02:04,000 --> 01:02:07,000
It gets dangerous.

1175
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:11,000
But it could be a good time if done right.

1176
01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:13,000
Just saying.

1177
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:19,000
Keep those to everybody.

1178
01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:20,000
Yeah.

1179
01:02:20,000 --> 01:02:24,000
Oh, hey, by the way, Rob, I just saw the text that you sent me.

1180
01:02:24,000 --> 01:02:29,000
The horrible questions was on the second podcast.

1181
01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:31,000
It wasn't on this replacement one.

1182
01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:32,000
Yeah.

1183
01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:33,000
Okay.

1184
01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:34,000
Okay.

1185
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:35,000
All right.

1186
01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:36,000
Okay.

1187
01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:42,000
So I've got a final thought before we get out of here and go to the next one is literally

1188
01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:49,000
the government has told us they found aliens before they came up with one person that's

1189
01:02:49,000 --> 01:02:53,000
on Epstein or Maxwell's client list.

1190
01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:56,000
Think about that.

1191
01:02:56,000 --> 01:02:58,000
Anyhow, everybody have a good night.

1192
01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:13,000
Thank you for listening.

1193
01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:15,000
Hey, where do they go?

1194
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:18,000
Where are the douchebags?

1195
01:03:18,000 --> 01:03:19,000
Oh, my God.

1196
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:21,000
Someone took a dump in the corner.

1197
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:23,000
Oh, geez.

1198
01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:24,000
Glad they're gone.

1199
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:27,000
Let's just hope they don't come back.

1200
01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:28,000
Man, that smells.