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Live from the historic River Market District in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the

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banks of the beautiful Crystal Blue Walkers of the Missouri River, it is Two Douchebags

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and Microphone Podcast.

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Swimming in toxic masculinity and wiping their ass with politically correct washrags, two

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douchebags and a microphone invade your ear holes in 3...2...1...

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And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.

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So let me see. Let's say I was offended by people being offended. Then would people being

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offended all the time have to not be offended around me because I was offended by them being

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offended? I may never know.

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Please remember to go to Cole's dressing room, wait 5 minutes and scream, Hey, there's no

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toilet paper in here!

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Hello everybody, Two Douchebags and a Microphone. I'm Mark.

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And I'm Rob.

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Alright, I'd like to start off right now with Rob Radd's little brother. Someone to email

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him while we are doing this here podcast. Pretty cool.

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So he was?

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You were right.

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Well, I had him do it just so we could see if it was working. But you announced earlier

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it was, so now we got double.

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Well, this is cool though. He has a nice little story attached to it that I think most people

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will love. I certainly think it's cool.

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I'll ask some more from him after you get done.

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Okay, sounds great.

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A word of advice when you wash off pepper spray. I've been pepper sprayed on my head,

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in the face and in training exercises as a corrections officer like you told us that

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he was or is. Our training officer advised when taking a shower, be sure not to let the

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water run down your body to your private parts. The residue of the oils will remind you of

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this. Baby shampoo seems to work the best. Yours truly, Rob Radd's little brother. Thank

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you. Thank you, Rob Radd's little brother.

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Alright, I'm heading back to my studio.

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Fucking awesome.

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Yeah, no, no. He used to be a CO at a prison.

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A corrections officer, okay. Yeah, that's what I thought.

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He was also trained to go to any prison and bust in the cells, whatever.

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Uh huh.

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He's only like 5'4", 5'5". He's smaller than I am, man.

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Sounds like someone you don't want to screw with though.

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But anyway, no, he, me, okay, we recorded Saturday night, correct?

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Uh huh.

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Me and you.

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Yes.

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He called me Saturday night and he was telling me a couple stories. He was telling me the

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story, he's in this motorcycle club.

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Okay.

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Which is ex law enforcement and, you know, it's a good bike club, charity group is what

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they are.

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Oh, that's very cool.

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Well, they had this get together and he would tell one of his majors from the prison, now

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that he's at work there, his story and people were vouching for him.

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Okay.

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He was training some new employees one night.

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Yes.

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And he'd been reading on the pepper spray can the ingredients and everything is organic.

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I'm going to tell you, Mark, this story right here will tell you he is my brother.

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Okay.

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That's right.

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So he goes in there telling the student of these new employees how you can wash it off,

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it's all good.

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He goes watch.

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And he had this chicken patty sandwich.

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Okay.

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He sprayed the pepper spray on this chicken patty sandwich and ate it right in front of

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him.

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Oh, fuck.

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He said it was hot.

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He said it was hot.

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Wow.

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But they said, okay, it's okay.

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It ain't going to hurt the prisoners.

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That's fucking crazy.

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He actually put the pepper spray on the chicken patty sandwich and ate it to teach him.

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That's fantastic.

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And then he was, yeah, my brother's obsessed with peppers, by the way, who told me another

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story.

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I forget who he said it was.

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I think the Chinese.

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You can look it up.

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It's the ninjas.

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It's a ninja weapon.

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Uh-huh.

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It's called a black egg.

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You take some peppers and some glass and ground them up real fine together.

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Okay?

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Okay.

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Then you take an egg, you poke a hole in it, and you can either drain out the liquid or

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leave it in it, whatever.

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But you dump it in.

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Well, actually, you probably want to pour out some liquid to make room for what you're

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about to put in there.

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Because you're going to take that pepper and that glass powder and dump it in that egg

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down that little hole.

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Uh-huh.

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Then you tape it or whatever.

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Yeah.

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And you come up to your enemy and you tape that.

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Yeah, you just cover up the whole hole.

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You got to.

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Uh-huh.

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You come up to your enemy.

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You still have that damn egg in their eyes.

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Oh, wow.

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They have that.

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No, it's really some egg in it.

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They wipe it off the egg.

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But they got the glass that as they're wiping it out is cutting their eyes.

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And then you got the pepper irritating the cuts.

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Wow.

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And that's an old ninja trick.

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I don't doubt that at all.

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That makes the optimal amount of sense.

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Oh, dude.

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Yeah.

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Welcome to my brother, okay?

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I love it.

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I just emailed you.

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Excellent.

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And anyhow, we appreciate the emails.

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So please, Rob Radd's little brother, keep them coming and other people too.

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And Lona, thank you for your email.

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Emails just enhance the program.

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It lets us know.

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It puts our finger on the pulse of you guys, you know, of what you're thinking, of how you feel about stuff.

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It also lets us in on the psyche of our audience.

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I think I know the psyche of the audience.

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We can get a bit on what we need to do better too.

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Yeah.

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Yes.

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Yeah, so don't be bashful.

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If there's something you don't like about the show, let us know.

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If there's something you love about the show, let us know.

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We want to know it all.

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Critiques and love.

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Because this is how we...

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And that is to prove that it works.

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Yep.

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Yeah.

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Anyhow, so thank you for that.

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And so I'm going to go into something a little bit different here.

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And it's fast food oriented.

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And there's a few food stories in a row here.

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But you know that there's a lot of fast food places that are getting sued.

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Class action lawsuits.

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Did you know that?

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I could see it.

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Yeah.

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And probably you could guess one of the reasons why.

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There's a lot of different reasons.

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But like ingredients or like this or that or whatever.

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But this one makes a lot of sense too.

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Many customers at fast food...

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Your food made me gain 20 pounds.

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Oh yeah, that old gag.

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That may have jumped the shark.

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I haven't heard about that in a long time.

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So who knows.

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But many customers at fast food restaurants are suing the chains for false advertising.

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Between 2020 and 2022, customers filed at least 200 class action lawsuits concerning false advertisement and food products, according to QSR Magazine.

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Last Monday, a New York man filed a proposed class action lawsuit against Taco Bell arguing that photos of their Crunchwrap Supreme and Mexican Pizza did not live up to the rule items.

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Some of which the plaintiff alleged included half the amount of beef.

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I would agree with that.

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I mean, to me, Taco Bell...

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I don't know why they got sued first, if you will, or one of the first ones.

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Because I think these burgers that Burger King and McDonald's shows are obviously three times, if not more, the size of one that you get when you buy this son of a bitch, right?

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Yep.

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Yeah.

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So Taco Bell to me seems like the least flagrant of all of them.

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Because Taco Bell, they may cheat you a little bit like you may get a couple sprinklings of meat.

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But you're going to get a lot of beans and cheese instead.

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You know what I mean?

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There's usually something in there to make up for your lack of meat that's in there.

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Where McDonald's and Burger King and Wendy's...

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Well, Wendy's isn't so bad about it.

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Sonic maybe.

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You go there and, you know, at least at White Castle, you expect a pellet.

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You know?

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Yeah.

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Yeah, you get in there and you look at that and it's like, what the fuck is this?

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Is this my burger?

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The pickle is almost as big as the burger, as the patty.

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So last Monday, Taco Bell was on this lawsuit.

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He was the latest in a long line of complaints that the chains are skimping on their portions.

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Here's how other suits have played out.

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The law firm representing the New York plaintiff also filed a lawsuit against BK,

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or also known as Burger King, as advertising their burgers would be 35% beefier than reality,

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which I just went into.

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Yeah, I agree with that 100%.

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The lawsuit claimed that since 2017, Burger King has advertised menu items that appear larger than when they are when ordered,

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which I agree with 100%.

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Attorneys at Burger King claim that because every sandwich is handmade at the restaurant,

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the look of each sandwich will differ.

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Now, we do know this.

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You know, you're opening up your sandwich and half of it will be on the outside and the other half is on the inside.

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You know, ketchup would be splurged on one side and the mayo would be like over on one side.

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The pickles would be missing. They'll be outside.

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You know, a little bit of lettuce sprinkled around.

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Yeah, we know this.

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But a quarter pound should not be an eighth pound.

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Yes.

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To me, the lawyers are trying to get you confused with that.

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A judge ordered the parties to mediation in February this year,

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and the mediation reached an impasse, so the judge stayed on the case indefinitely.

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The same firm in New York has a few other class action lawsuits against Wendy's and McDonald's as well.

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The lawsuit in particular against Wendy's claims that in advertising,

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the bourbon bacon burger, the patties featured, which are undercooked, to make the sandwich appear larger, 15 to 20 percent larger.

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Did you catch that? They're undercooked.

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So they're giving you a raw burger that hasn't shrunk yet and just been browned on the outside,

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and selling that as the finished product, and that's probably how they get around it, if you think about it.

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15 to 20 percent larger.

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Motions to the Smith. Both suits have been filed to no avail.

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Stay tuned.

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So as soon as I find out some stuff like what's going on with this, I will keep everybody updated,

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because to me, stuff like this does intrigue me,

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because I think that places like that should be held accountable,

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and I get tired of false advertising.

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I get tired of like, one of the things of false advertising that pisses me off to no end is,

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let's say, cherries, a buck 99 a pound.

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You go into wherever, Price Chopper, Hy-Vee, Aldi, anywhere, whatever, whoever you want,

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you go in there and they're out.

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And I'm like, well, alright, that's cool.

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How about a rain check?

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Oh, we don't give rain checks on them. We probably won't get any more in.

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Then why the fuck did you advertise these for a buck 99 a pound?

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When you had like, you had like three pounds of them left,

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and you had no intentions of getting more.

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I hear a lot of people these days just playing about that.

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They do it all the time, and it burns my ass.

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Yeah.

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The last time at Hy-Vee, I had a cart full of stuff,

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and I told the lady, I said, the only way I'm going to buy these is if you guys come up with some cherries.

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Well, we don't have any.

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I said, well, I guess I'm not buying them.

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I said, who's going to put them back?

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Oh, we'll have someone put them back.

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Okay, bye.

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Never been back since.

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It pissed me off that fucking bad,

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because this is not the first time they've done that to me.

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That's why they pay skippy $10 an hour.

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Yeah, and then every time, you know, every time I went in there before, I was like, you know what?

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I'll just let it go.

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I went ahead and bought the stuff that I got extra, and all that, you know.

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I was like, you know, I'm buying these cherries for a great price.

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Well, I'll go ahead and get a couple of loaves of bread and some soda or something like that, right?

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Well, you know, I'm being courteous, throwing and floating them some business too that I could have done somewhere else.

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This particular time, I was like, you know what?

246
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:08,600
If they don't have them this time, I'm leaving my shit right there.

247
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:12,600
And so anyhow, I got all my stuff like I was going to.

248
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,600
And then I was like, all right, here it goes.

249
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:15,600
Here's showtime.

250
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:16,600
I'm either going to leave it or I don't.

251
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:17,600
And then I was like, you know what?

252
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,600
No, I'm going to leave it.

253
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:23,600
So Skippy gets paid $10 an hour, was taking all my shit back.

254
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:24,600
So.

255
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:25,600
Okay.

256
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:29,600
It pissed me off to no end because they have gotten me with that so many times.

257
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:33,600
And then it pissed me off so bad to where I don't go there anymore.

258
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:34,600
I'm just like, fuck him.

259
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:36,600
And Hy-Vee is a great store.

260
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:41,600
I mean, I love their products there that they but they've done it to me one too many times.

261
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:46,600
I hear more and more people complain about the same thing.

262
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,600
It's not just that store.

263
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:49,600
No, it's all of them.

264
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,600
I don't mean to be picking on Hy-Vee.

265
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,600
You know, I was a battered housewife.

266
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:57,600
It's where you were at the moment.

267
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:58,600
Yeah.

268
00:16:58,600 --> 00:16:59,600
Yeah.

269
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,600
Like I said, I was a battered housewife at this point.

270
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,600
I was like shaking it off.

271
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,600
I hear more and more stories.

272
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:10,600
Other people complain about the same thing from other stores too.

273
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:11,600
So.

274
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:16,600
There needs to be some checks and balances and I think maybe some class actions or something.

275
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:17,600
Yeah.

276
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:18,600
Yeah.

277
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:19,600
Yeah.

278
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:23,600
So anyhow, I find that very interesting.

279
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,600
And I, you know what?

280
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:32,600
Good luck to the plaintiffs because I think the plaintiffs are completely right in this.

281
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:36,600
I think that it is a form of false advertising in my opinion.

282
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,600
And I'm glad that they're fighting back.

283
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:47,600
So, you know, McDonald's is under fire for their iced tea, their sweet tea.

284
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:48,600
Really?

285
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:49,600
Yeah.

286
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:50,600
McDonald's employee.

287
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:51,600
Yeah.

288
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:58,600
Known as Gia recently revealed on her TikTok account how McDonald's makes their sweet tea.

289
00:17:58,600 --> 00:17:59,600
And I know you're a tea fan.

290
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,600
You probably go by and get their tea often, don't you?

291
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:05,600
Whenever they make McDonald's, that's what I drink, yes.

292
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:06,600
Okay.

293
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:14,600
The food giant has a lot to explain because the sweet tea canister contains four pounds.

294
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:18,600
They literally, she showed them doing it on TikTok.

295
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:20,600
They have a four pound bag of sugar.

296
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,600
You know in one of those metal containers, right?

297
00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:24,600
Yes.

298
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:25,600
Yeah.

299
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:26,600
Yeah.

300
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:27,600
We used to do that at Justin Jones.

301
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,600
Remember, he used to put the tea bags in there and all that.

302
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:33,600
And occasionally a fish head might accidentally find its way in there.

303
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:34,600
We all know what happened.

304
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,600
You know, stuff like that.

305
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:38,600
There's probably Harry.

306
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,600
Probably was.

307
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:45,600
Four pound bag of sugar in one of those canisters.

308
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:48,600
That's how they make their sweet tea.

309
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,600
Four pound bag of sugar.

310
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:58,600
That's, I don't know what the card count would be in a glass, but it's got to be like a thousand.

311
00:18:58,600 --> 00:18:59,600
I mean, geez.

312
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:00,600
Oh my God.

313
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:03,600
That's way too sweet for me.

314
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:04,600
That is insane.

315
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:09,600
My suggestion is order your tea unsweetened, then add your own sweetener.

316
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:15,600
Yeah, I do like three quarter cup of sugar to a gallon.

317
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:17,600
So, you know.

318
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:18,600
Yeah.

319
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:19,600
Yeah.

320
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:21,600
I'm not that bad.

321
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:22,600
Okay.

322
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:28,600
Well, I think that most people just don't really think about the sugar content in it until this Gia chick did it.

323
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,600
And now it's causing outrage.

324
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:33,600
But I think most people are just kind of like, well, how much sugar could they have in it?

325
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:34,600
Well.

326
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,600
That's going to shine in right now.

327
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:40,600
That's right.

328
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:43,600
That's diabetic complex.

329
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:44,600
Yeah.

330
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:45,600
Yep.

331
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:46,600
Yeah.

332
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:54,600
It sounds like diabetes on a stick.

333
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:55,600
Yeah.

334
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:56,600
Yep.

335
00:19:56,600 --> 00:20:02,600
So, the next thing I have here is another food thing.

336
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:18,600
And this is, according to 2023 installment of USA Today's 10 Best Reader's Choice Awards of Breakfast, Fast Food Breakfast.

337
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,600
Okay.

338
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:27,600
The Southern based breakfast joint, Biscuitville, now holds the top spot.

339
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:32,600
The menu is really good on it.

340
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:33,600
I read it.

341
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,600
And it's mild to horrible hot honey biscuits.

342
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:38,600
They make their own biscuits there.

343
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:39,600
People rave about them.

344
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,600
Dip French toast with fruit.

345
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:44,600
All different.

346
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:46,600
I mean, it has some gourmet items on there.

347
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,600
And it's a fast food place.

348
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:49,600
All right.

349
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:53,600
So, Biscuitville is, you're going to see them everywhere eventually.

350
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:54,600
They're that good.

351
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:58,600
They're just can't be, unless they want to just stay in the South.

352
00:20:58,600 --> 00:20:59,600
They are that good.

353
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:02,600
Look up the menu if you get a chance.

354
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:03,600
I mean, I looked it up.

355
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:04,600
There's too many.

356
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,600
I was going to like read off the highlights, but you just got to look at it.

357
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,600
There's just so many things there.

358
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:20,600
I mean, you know, like decorated pancakes to dip French toast to just your basic sauce.

359
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:22,600
No, I'm a big French toast fan.

360
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:27,600
Well, this supposedly is some of the best French toast you'll ever have, according to people.

361
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:29,600
I've lived into them, man.

362
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:33,600
Well, when you get a chance, look up Biscuitville's menu.

363
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:34,600
Gotcha.

364
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:37,600
They took the number one spot, and it sounds like they deserve it.

365
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:40,600
Number two, I do not agree with.

366
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:44,600
But number two, McDonald's took number two.

367
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:45,600
I'm sorry, man.

368
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:50,600
Well, yeah, McDonald's, I've had their breakfast plenty of times.

369
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,600
It's bland.

370
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:53,600
It's bland.

371
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:54,600
It does not.

372
00:21:54,600 --> 00:22:02,600
Their sausage biscuits or breakfast or not biscuits, but their sausage burritos are horrible.

373
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:05,600
Maybe back in the 80s.

374
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:07,600
In the 80s, it was really good.

375
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:08,600
Now.

376
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,600
It was not today.

377
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:11,600
No, it doesn't.

378
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:12,600
It's not that good.

379
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,600
I totally disagree with that.

380
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:15,600
Me too.

381
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,600
I completely disagree with it.

382
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:21,600
Number three, Whataburger.

383
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:24,600
Whataburger has a fantastic breakfast.

384
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,600
I've only had it one time.

385
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:30,600
I have not had their breakfast.

386
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,600
I've, uh.

387
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:37,600
No, actually, I haven't even been to Whataburger.

388
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:38,600
Whataburger's.

389
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:39,600
I've had their raw burgers.

390
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:40,600
Oh, raw burgers.

391
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:42,600
Okay, what'd you think of those?

392
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:47,600
It was the burgers.

393
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:48,600
It wasn't breakfast.

394
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:49,600
Oh, okay.

395
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,600
Did you like the raw burgers?

396
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:57,600
It was good.

397
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,600
It was a little high-priced.

398
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:04,600
Yeah, a little high-priced, but it wasn't anything to write home about, was it?

399
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,600
Yeah, you were paying for the name.

400
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:07,600
Yes.

401
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:09,600
That's exactly what I was thinking too.

402
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:15,600
I've been there and it's good, but you pay twice as much, so it better be good.

403
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,600
Oh, I took seven of us.

404
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:22,600
One of them was my brother Tom at the Z-Mantle.

405
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:23,600
Oh, okay.

406
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:26,600
I took him, his wife, and my mom.

407
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:27,600
Did you gosses with Pepper Sprite?

408
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,600
My daughter and my son.

409
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:36,600
And seven of us, I spent $135.

410
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:37,600
Oh, wow.

411
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:38,600
For burgers.

412
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:39,600
Okay.

413
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:40,600
Yeah.

414
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:45,600
That was at World Burger's.

415
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,600
Very cool.

416
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:49,600
Yeah.

417
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:50,600
All right.

418
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:52,600
Your brother answered me back.

419
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:53,600
He said, thanks.

420
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:54,600
Keep up the good work.

421
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:55,600
The show is entertaining.

422
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:56,600
Excellent.

423
00:23:56,600 --> 00:24:00,600
Thanks for listening, Rob Radd's little brother.

424
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,600
I'm just going to keep calling him Rob Radd's little brother.

425
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:04,600
That sounds cool.

426
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:07,600
Thank you, Rob Radd's little brother.

427
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:13,600
And we'll figure out when I can do three-way calling, get you on here, if you wish.

428
00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:14,600
Yeah, yeah.

429
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:15,600
He's wanting to.

430
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:16,600
He's wanting to.

431
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:17,600
Okay, cool.

432
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:18,600
Excellent.

433
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:23,600
He told me he has a bunch of prison stories.

434
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:27,600
He just has to watch what he says.

435
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:29,600
I can imagine that, yes.

436
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:30,600
Okay.

437
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:34,600
Well, he'll hear this, but let him know.

438
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:39,600
Let him know if he likes the peppers.

439
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:44,600
I want to know if he put pepper spray on his Wall Burger, did he?

440
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:46,600
No, he did not.

441
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:47,600
Okay.

442
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:48,600
All right.

443
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:49,600
Well, you can't win them all.

444
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:53,600
He was sitting right next to our mom, so he didn't.

445
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:54,600
Okay.

446
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:59,600
To me, Whataburger, not Wall Burger, but going back to Whataburger, because they took number

447
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:00,600
three.

448
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:01,600
Yeah, yeah.

449
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:07,600
Because I had their breakfast before, and it is a great-tasting breakfast sandwich.

450
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:09,600
So, I could see them coming in at number three.

451
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:14,600
I think they're ahead of McDonald's, but McDonald's is larger, so okay, whatever.

452
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:15,600
McDonald's, yeah.

453
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:18,600
McDonald's isn't that good, in my opinion.

454
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:19,600
Never mind.

455
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:20,600
Okay.

456
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:27,600
But Whataburger, to me, it's a good burger, but I think In-N-Out is better, because there's

457
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:31,600
a big thing going on, especially down in Dallas, where they have them both.

458
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:34,600
Whataburger, In-N-Out, you got the In-N-Out people from the West Coast, they're all going,

459
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:36,600
In-N-Out, and then all the Texans.

460
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:38,600
Whataburger's the best.

461
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,600
And it's like an age-old thing.

462
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:47,600
But there was this place in Dallas that was much better than both of them, but they only

463
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:48,600
have one of them.

464
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:53,600
It's a chain from the West Coast, but they only have one of them, but then it disappeared.

465
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:59,600
There was called Slater's 5050, when I was down there on a job with my friend Brian at

466
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:04,600
my last job, he found out that one was there, and he told me about it.

467
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:08,600
He goes, Slater's 5050, they started off in San Diego, where he grew up.

468
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:12,600
He said, man, he goes, these burgers are insanely good, because they're made with half-ground

469
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,600
chuck and half-ground bacon.

470
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:17,600
Oh, damn.

471
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:19,600
Yes, Slater's 5050, look them up.

472
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:25,600
Went in there, had them, and then they had Kraft beers in there from locally.

473
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:30,600
Oh, my God, we're just like in there, just like, we found heaven.

474
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:32,600
It was fantastic.

475
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:39,600
So the best burger in Dallas of a chain would be Slater's 5050, but I guess, I think it's

476
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:41,600
no longer there.

477
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,600
So I guess that isn't the case now.

478
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:48,600
But if you ever get a chance to go to Slater's 5050, do it.

479
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:54,600
So the next one, number four is Chick-Delay.

480
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:56,600
Yeah, they have good breakfast.

481
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:58,600
I would call them better than McDonald's.

482
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:00,600
I would not call them better than McDonald's.

483
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,600
They have good breakfast.

484
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:03,600
They're good.

485
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:07,600
I think their chicken sandwiches are very overrated.

486
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:08,600
Yeah.

487
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:16,600
To me, their stuff tastes a little bland and unoriginal.

488
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,600
Would that be a good way to put it?

489
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:20,600
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

490
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:25,600
Yeah, yeah, their sauces are good, but their food to me is just, okay.

491
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:32,600
So whatever, number five, which I think should have been number three, what a burger too,

492
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:35,600
and to me, number three should have been Dunkin'.

493
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,600
Dunkin' Donuts has a fantastic breakfast.

494
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:43,600
They have neat little things like little spinach, ham pies and stuff.

495
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:44,600
Yeah.

496
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:46,600
They're really good. I like them.

497
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:50,600
Oh, shit. I didn't even see this.

498
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:55,600
Actually, number two should have been Hardee's.

499
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:56,600
Hardee's, but...

500
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,600
We don't have a Hardee's around here no more.

501
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:00,600
Oh. Hardee's has a...

502
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:02,600
Yeah, they've got a way with Hardee's.

503
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,600
They've got a way with 13.

504
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:07,600
You guys used to have a Hardee's.

505
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:09,600
You guys used to have a Hardee's.

506
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:11,600
13.

507
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:12,600
Okay.

508
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:15,600
You guys used to have a Hardee's, didn't you?

509
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:20,600
Yeah, yeah. We used to have two different Burger King's.

510
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:22,600
There's no more Burger King's here?

511
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:27,600
No. Burger King's, you have to go to Lebanon or Jeff City.

512
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:29,600
Wow.

513
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:36,600
And honestly, if you go to Lebanon, it's garbage.

514
00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:40,600
No, Jeff City, Burger King. You know what I mean?

515
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:41,600
Mm-hmm.

516
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:45,600
Yeah, Lebanon, they just... Yeah, it just ain't safe.

517
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,600
Well, the Hardee's here is garbage too, so...

518
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:50,600
Now, Hardee's, you know what, maybe they...

519
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:54,600
No, they did it like Hardee's. Yeah, they're...

520
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:55,600
You know what...

521
00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:58,600
It's weird how the food industry works down here.

522
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:01,600
Well, Hardee's, I don't know what it is. I think it's the help.

523
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:04,600
But you know what? They used to have the best breakfast around,

524
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:05,600
but they probably don't anymore.

525
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:06,600
Yeah.

526
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:08,600
I haven't been there in so long. I couldn't tell you, probably.

527
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:12,600
I kind of over-spoke on that, because they used to have the best breakfast.

528
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:14,600
But it's probably like their burgers now.

529
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:16,600
They used to have a really good burger too, but...

530
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:17,600
Right.

531
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:20,600
The last couple times I've been there, it's been horrible.

532
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:23,600
And I think it's because of the help that they have.

533
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:25,600
Because the stuff is just like thrown...

534
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:27,600
It wasn't even wrapped correctly.

535
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:31,600
The wrapper was coming undone, and the fucking patty and meat fell out on the ground.

536
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:33,600
It was just like, what the fuck?

537
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:37,600
That's right, and how you were getting in that last conversation too.

538
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:41,600
Yeah. Yeah. So, anyhow.

539
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:45,600
Number seven, I think should have been a little bit higher.

540
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,600
And I don't know if you've ever been there to one, because it's a southern joint.

541
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:50,600
And I always find them in airports.

542
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:55,600
And like I said, I used to travel... I still travel more than most people, you know.

543
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:57,600
But I used to travel all the time.

544
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:00,600
Um, Bojangles.

545
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:01,600
It is...

546
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:03,600
I've heard I've never tried it.

547
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:05,600
It's like a chicken joint. Kind of.

548
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:06,600
Right, right.

549
00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:08,600
And it's down south.

550
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:12,600
A lot in Louisiana, Mississippi, places like that.

551
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:18,600
And this was... I went to the Bojangles and Louis Armstrong Airport in New Orleans.

552
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:23,600
And I thought it was a really good breakfast and also a really good dinner too.

553
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:30,600
Because I've done both of them at Bojangles, because I've been sitting in Louis Armstrong Airport a lot.

554
00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:32,600
So, and that would be New Orleans.

555
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:36,600
That's where I think I went across them.

556
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:41,600
Where it is my trip down to Louisiana, that's where I went across them.

557
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:43,600
Yeah, that would be where you've been.

558
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:44,600
Yeah.

559
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:48,600
Yeah, I think that's where I went across them was there.

560
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:50,600
If you ever get a chance though...

561
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:52,600
They're right there, but...

562
00:30:52,600 --> 00:31:01,600
Get there, but also if you ever get a chance, if you're on Canal Street, New Orleans, Canal and Bourbon, is the original Popeyes.

563
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:06,600
The original Popeyes chicken has different recipes than the rest of the Popeyes chicken.

564
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:10,600
Yeah, I imagine that. It's totally different than the rest.

565
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:12,600
It is. It's really good.

566
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:18,600
And it's an experience. And then you've got to go to Crystal Burger on Bourbon.

567
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:19,600
Crystal Burger...

568
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:23,600
I would love to make another trip to New Orleans.

569
00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:27,600
You know Crystal Burgers are just like White Castle's.

570
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:28,600
Are they?

571
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:34,600
Yes, but Crystal Burgers is where that guy went to jail for tea-bagging.

572
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:43,600
It was LSU, Louisiana State against Mississippi State.

573
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:44,600
The Mississippi...

574
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:45,600
Yeah.

575
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:49,600
Yeah, the Mississippi State guy passed out in the Crystal Burger.

576
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:56,600
And so the Louisiana State guy fucking tea-bagged him while he was passed out.

577
00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:58,600
I remember that story.

578
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:00,600
Yeah, and he sent it everywhere.

579
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:02,600
Okay.

580
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:10,600
So anyhow, the other guy's like, hey, hey dude man, I saw a picture of you with fucking nuts in your face, dude. What?

581
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:12,600
Yeah, yeah, a little bit like at the Crystal Burger.

582
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:16,600
It was LSU after that, alright. I'm gonna try it.

583
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:21,600
That's where that happened. And the guy ended up going to jail.

584
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:24,600
That sounds like a restaurant we would eat at.

585
00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:30,600
Oh yeah, yeah, that sounds like a restaurant we would have tea-bagged someone at too.

586
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:33,600
Actually, actually, it's usually kind of...

587
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:38,600
I've ate there plenty of times where it's usually kind of filthy and there's usually shady fuckers there.

588
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:45,600
It's 24 hours on Bourbon Street, so you can only imagine.

589
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:47,600
Sounds like a yawker house.

590
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:55,600
Yeah, yeah, only the horrible greasy little grease pellets from heaven.

591
00:32:55,600 --> 00:33:01,600
So anyhow, number eight, Burger King.

592
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:05,600
I haven't had a breakfast there in so long I couldn't tell you.

593
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:06,600
Me either.

594
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:08,600
Right, that's a weird one.

595
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:10,600
Oh yeah, that's right. You just can't...

596
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:12,600
Half an hour and 35 minutes away, so...

597
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:17,600
That's right, you just can't fucking go to one, man. I could drive to Lebanon to have shitty food.

598
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:20,600
You can have shitty food right there in Camdenton, can't you?

599
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:28,600
No, actually, to get in Burger King, my best bet would drive an hour to Jeff City.

600
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:34,600
Okay. And you can get shitty food right there, so you don't need to drive to Jeff City, right?

601
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:36,600
I'd rather make my own way.

602
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:42,600
You know, I want to start a fast food place called Burger Clit.

603
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:46,600
Oh, that'd be awesome.

604
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:50,600
Yeah, and instead of the magical Mr. Burg-er, Mr. Mystic Burger King,

605
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:56,600
we could be Magical Mystical Clit, like walks around in a clit costume.

606
00:33:56,600 --> 00:34:01,600
And we could get us a boat, and we could...

607
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:02,600
I love it already.

608
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:04,600
Be like delivery.

609
00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:05,600
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

610
00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:07,600
How would you like it?

611
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:09,600
Do you like your clips with onions?

612
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:11,600
Cook it right there on the boat for him.

613
00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:13,600
How do you like your clips, sir?

614
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:15,600
I'll take it with some onions and peppers

615
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:17,600
and a little bit of mayo.

616
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:19,600
Right up, sir. Here's your clip with

617
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:21,600
onions, peppers, and mayo.

618
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:23,600
Thank you.

619
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:25,600
I like mine medium rare.

620
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:27,600
Yeah, me too.

621
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:29,600
I don't like it too rare. I don't like it too done.

622
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:31,600
It's going to be similar to that.

623
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:33,600
Yeah, sounds great.

624
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:35,600
What could possibly go wrong?

625
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:37,600
Hey, we're on this...

626
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:39,600
Let's talk about that

627
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:41,600
off there. Alright, burger clip.

628
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:43,600
Yeah!

629
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:45,600
Okay, next one.

630
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:47,600
Jack in the Box,

631
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:49,600
number nine.

632
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:51,600
No opinion. I don't think

633
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:53,600
I've ever been there for breakfast.

634
00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:55,600
Never had their breakfast. I've had their tacos.

635
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:57,600
Their tacos I've had in the morning

636
00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:59,600
before and I love their tacos.

637
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:01,600
Their tacos are amazing. I love them in the morning.

638
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:03,600
Oh, I love them in the morning.

639
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:05,600
I love the tacos. I've never had them.

640
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:07,600
Oh, you've never had them in the morning.

641
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:09,600
Okay. Alright. Fair enough.

642
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:11,600
And number ten should probably have been number

643
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:13,600
four. Maybe

644
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:15,600
even three. Wendy's. Wendy's does

645
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:17,600
a good breakfast.

646
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:19,600
Oh, yeah.

647
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:21,600
They have for years.

648
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:23,600
They still do, too.

649
00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:25,600
They have a bunch

650
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:27,600
of new items, too, like

651
00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:29,600
chicken wraps and stuff like that.

652
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:31,600
They have a little frosty chino, which is

653
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:33,600
half coffee, half frosty.

654
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:35,600
I mean...

655
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:37,600
Yeah, see my

656
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:39,600
nearest Wendy's

657
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:41,600
is 25 minutes away.

658
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:43,600
Oh, okay.

659
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:45,600
It's on the other side of the lake from me.

660
00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:47,600
Okay.

661
00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:49,600
Yeah, you gotta drive through Osage

662
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:51,600
Beach to get to it.

663
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:53,600
Oh, oh, okay.

664
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:55,600
Yeah. So...

665
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:57,600
Well, okay.

666
00:35:57,600 --> 00:35:59,600
I don't understand that.

667
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:01,600
So, anyhow, that is the

668
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:03,600
top ten.

669
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:05,600
We'll be right...

670
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:07,600
We will be right back right after this.

671
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:13,600
Our constant pursuit for a real

672
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:15,600
knee-slapper. It's strange

673
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:17,600
insults from an alien.

674
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:19,600
Real hilarity.

675
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:21,600
May, your five-year-old neighbor have all

676
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:23,600
their violin lessons

677
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:25,600
during all of your hangovers.

678
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:27,600
Two Douchebags and a Microphone.

679
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:29,600
The number one show for people that

680
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:31,600
lie about their favorite podcast.

681
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,600
Remember to send all male body part

682
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:37,600
photos to Rob Rad's inbox.

683
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:39,600
We are Two Douchebags

684
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:41,600
and a Microphone.

685
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:43,600
As charming as a leaky sewer pipe,

686
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:47,600
Two Shirley Temples and a bottle of scotch

687
00:36:47,600 --> 00:37:07,600
will be right back.

688
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:09,600
Back like we promised, Two Douchebags

689
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:11,600
and a Microphone. I'm Mark.

690
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:13,600
And I'm Rob.

691
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:15,600
Alright.

692
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:17,600
You have something you want to get to, Rob?

693
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:19,600
Anything pertinent? Anything you want to talk about?

694
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:21,600
Anything that's rattling

695
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:23,600
your cage? Anything that's

696
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:25,600
pissing you off? Anything you want to ha-ha

697
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:27,600
about?

698
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:31,600
How about our hairy ass-off?

699
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:33,600
Okay.

700
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:35,600
You ready for that?

701
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:37,600
You ready? I'm ready for that.

702
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:39,600
Okay. It's our

703
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:41,600
top fourteen.

704
00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:43,600
Okay.

705
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:45,600
And we're very close

706
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:47,600
to hairy ass-off

707
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:49,600
because if you listen

708
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:51,600
to our last podcast,

709
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:53,600
we're definitely having another one

710
00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:55,600
after that. Yes.

711
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:57,600
I feel like we got...

712
00:37:57,600 --> 00:37:59,600
Whenever I hear a name, I'm like...

713
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:01,600
Like we were talking about earlier,

714
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:03,600
whenever I hear a name, automatically

715
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:05,600
it goes through the ass-off file in my brain.

716
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:09,600
I'm looking up the CEO's name

717
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:11,600
trying to.

718
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:13,600
But anyway.

719
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:15,600
Okay.

720
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:17,600
Alrighty.

721
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:19,600
You know what, Rob? Since I screwed up on my list

722
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:21,600
and I'd forgotten

723
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:23,600
that the band Motorhead

724
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:25,600
made it all the way through, I pitted them up

725
00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:27,600
against somebody. You go ahead.

726
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:29,600
I know the first one is Nancy

727
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:31,600
Palouse.

728
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:33,600
Motorhead was our

729
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:35,600
band winner. So we cannot

730
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:37,600
pin a band

731
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:39,600
up against individuals. Come on, man.

732
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:41,600
No, and I actually

733
00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:43,600
even...

734
00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:45,600
Motorhead will go into our

735
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:47,600
next round to take on the

736
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:49,600
winner. Okay.

737
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:51,600
Of the next band.

738
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:53,600
Okay, you got it. You see, because

739
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:55,600
I put them up against Johnny Depp because

740
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:57,600
Johnny Depp plays guitar.

741
00:38:57,600 --> 00:38:59,600
So anyhow, that's alright.

742
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:01,600
Motorhead won. They went through on the

743
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,600
band. So anyhow, go ahead.

744
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:05,600
Okay, now my first

745
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:09,600
battle.

746
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:11,600
I looked...okay, I took

747
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:13,600
your advice. I looked at

748
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:15,600
Juliana Margolis. Yes.

749
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:19,600
She looks like she can carry a patch

750
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:21,600
down there, doesn't she?

751
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:23,600
Here's my battle.

752
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:25,600
Okay.

753
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:27,600
Juliana Margolis

754
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:29,600
versus McDonough.

755
00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:31,600
Mmm.

756
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:33,600
That's a pretty good

757
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:35,600
pit up.

758
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:37,600
Okay.

759
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:39,600
Wow.

760
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:41,600
I'm gonna go with...Wow.

761
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:43,600
I'm gonna go with Madonna.

762
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:45,600
And here's why.

763
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:47,600
Older.

764
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:49,600
Already proven she doesn't care about underarm

765
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:51,600
hair. Italian.

766
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:53,600
I think

767
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:55,600
all of those insures her

768
00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:57,600
onto the next round.

769
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:01,600
Yeah. Madonna.

770
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:03,600
Madonna wins.

771
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:05,600
Juliana Margolis.

772
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:07,600
That was a battle,

773
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:09,600
man.

774
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:11,600
I could see...

775
00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:13,600
Yes.

776
00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:15,600
I could see how you kept her

777
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:17,600
in this whole time, Barley.

778
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:19,600
Juliana Margolis,

779
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:21,600
you're free to go.

780
00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:25,600
Alright. Thank you for your

781
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:27,600
participation in the hairy asshole

782
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:29,600
Olympics.

783
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:31,600
You'll be a strong current.

784
00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:33,600
Duck which is since the 80s.

785
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:35,600
Still again. Yes.

786
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:37,600
Alrighty. Next up on the docket,

787
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:39,600
please. Next

788
00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:41,600
up...Oh my god.

789
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:45,600
I gotta do it, Mark.

790
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:47,600
Go ahead. Gotta do it.

791
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:49,600
The floor is yours.

792
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:53,600
Nancy Pelosi.

793
00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:57,600
Michelle Obama.

794
00:40:57,600 --> 00:40:59,600
Oh.

795
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:03,600
Okay.

796
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:05,600
Nancy Pelosi.

797
00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:07,600
Old. Wrinkled.

798
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:09,600
Leathery.

799
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:11,600
Italian.

800
00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:13,600
Has

801
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:15,600
no hairs already.

802
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:17,600
I'm gonna say her hairy asshole

803
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:19,600
encompasses anything that she

804
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:21,600
wears for any type of under

805
00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:23,600
garment.

806
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:25,600
Okay. And my

807
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:27,600
battle for Michelle

808
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:29,600
was I think hers was braided.

809
00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:31,600
Oh yeah.

810
00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:33,600
I forgot. Yes. But, but, but,

811
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:35,600
but, but, now if you think about it,

812
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:39,600
if she braids it, that means she

813
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:41,600
pays attention to it.

814
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:43,600
Exactly. It's groomed.

815
00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:45,600
Where Pelosi's is just gonna be like

816
00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:47,600
fucking the rainforest. That was

817
00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:49,600
nasty crusty shit.

818
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:51,600
Oh yeah. I'm gonna say it's like

819
00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:53,600
got some foreign goop on it

820
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:55,600
and secretion

821
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:57,600
and

822
00:41:57,600 --> 00:41:59,600
yeah, yeah. I'm gonna say

823
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:01,600
Oh my god. I can't believe we're voting

824
00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:03,600
for Nancy Pelosi again.

825
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:05,600
Only in this fashion.

826
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:07,600
Damn it.

827
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:09,600
Alright. Nancy.

828
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:13,600
Michelle Obama, you're free to go.

829
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:15,600
Thank you for your

830
00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:17,600
participation. We look forward

831
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:19,600
to seeing you in another hairy ass off

832
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:21,600
at another time.

833
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:23,600
Alright. Rob?

834
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:25,600
Alright. Next up.

835
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:27,600
Alright. I got another

836
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:29,600
quarterback matchup.

837
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:31,600
Oh, I love these.

838
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:35,600
A-Rogers

839
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:37,600
to Redshaw.

840
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:39,600
Oh. So you got the

841
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:41,600
hallucinogenic freak

842
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:43,600
against the old crusty old man.

843
00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:47,600
Okay. A-Rog is kind of like a

844
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:49,600
Grape Nuts

845
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:51,600
that eat in.

846
00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:53,600
Who does?

847
00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:55,600
Terry. Oh, Terry.

848
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:57,600
Yeah, yeah. Cause A-Rog is American.

849
00:42:57,600 --> 00:42:59,600
Yeah, yeah.

850
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:01,600
I would expect nothing else out of Terry

851
00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:03,600
honestly.

852
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:07,600
I'm gonna go with Terry

853
00:43:07,600 --> 00:43:09,600
by an ass hair.

854
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:13,600
Just because he's old and crusty

855
00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:17,600
and he's kind of disheveled.

856
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:19,600
I don't think he even

857
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:21,600
recognizes his ass hair.

858
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:23,600
He has no idea they're there and I think it encompasses

859
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:25,600
his fucking

860
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:27,600
his pantaloons.

861
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:29,600
I think it encompasses

862
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:31,600
any type of underwear he wears.

863
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:33,600
I think he goes around it and builds

864
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:35,600
like a hair bridge across

865
00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:37,600
the underwear.

866
00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:39,600
And I just think that

867
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:41,600
it looks like one big fucking hairy mess

868
00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:43,600
down there. And I think

869
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:45,600
his nut hairs also hang down and

870
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:47,600
encompass themselves into his

871
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:49,600
asshole hairs.

872
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:51,600
That sound about right?

873
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:57,600
I'm sorry y'all laughing at me.

874
00:43:57,600 --> 00:43:59,600
Well, that's okay.

875
00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:03,600
Then I was thinking

876
00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:05,600
totally opposite.

877
00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:07,600
Well, A-Rog, I can see the same with him

878
00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:09,600
too. I'm just giving it to

879
00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:11,600
Bradshaw. Because

880
00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:13,600
he's old and crusty.

881
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:15,600
We just mentioned

882
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:19,600
A-Rog is a single.

883
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:21,600
Terry has a hot wife.

884
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:25,600
You know what Rob?

885
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:27,600
That's why I start laughing.

886
00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:29,600
I think you just swayed my vote.

887
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:31,600
Because his wife

888
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:33,600
would be like

889
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:35,600
oh no no no no.

890
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,600
No, that shit's

891
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:39,600
giving me the cut.

892
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:41,600
We're mowing that bitch down right now

893
00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:43,600
Terry. You're right.

894
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:45,600
Does Aaron even have

895
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:47,600
a dog to lick it?

896
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:51,600
No, I don't.

897
00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:53,600
You know what? No, you're right.

898
00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:55,600
A-Rog's ass hair is out of control.

899
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:57,600
You're right.

900
00:44:57,600 --> 00:44:59,600
He's the one that his nut hairs

901
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:01,600
encompass his

902
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:03,600
asshole hairs.

903
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:05,600
Yeah, they just like it.

904
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:07,600
Alright, A-Rog.

905
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:09,600
Terry, thank you for your participation.

906
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:11,600
You're free to go.

907
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:13,600
We look forward to seeing you in more

908
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:15,600
Asshole Hair Olympics. Have a good

909
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:17,600
week. Anyhow, next.

910
00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:21,600
Nice throw out.

911
00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:25,600
Where'd it go?

912
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:27,600
Where'd it go? Where'd it go?

913
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:29,600
Robert DeNiro.

914
00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:31,600
Yes.

915
00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:33,600
George Carlin.

916
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:37,600
DeNiro.

917
00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:39,600
I've seen this one.

918
00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:41,600
Oh, damn.

919
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:43,600
I forgot about that. Oh, yeah.

920
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:45,600
I'm sticking with this one.

921
00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:47,600
DeNiro and Carlin.

922
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:49,600
I'm going with DeNiro.

923
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:53,600
I go with DeNiro too.

924
00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:55,600
I mean, Carlin

925
00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:57,600
I can see, but

926
00:45:57,600 --> 00:45:59,600
DeNiro, he got

927
00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:01,600
that Italian.

928
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:03,600
Yep, and he's crusty

929
00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:05,600
and he's kind of crass.

930
00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:07,600
Yeah, cause

931
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:09,600
that's not a bad stuff for him next week.

932
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:11,600
Okay, cool.

933
00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:13,600
Maybe, maybe if he makes it through.

934
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:15,600
George Carlin,

935
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:17,600
we're free to go in the afterlife.

936
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:19,600
Thank you for your participation and have a

937
00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:21,600
good week.

938
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:25,600
Next on the docket.

939
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:29,600
With DeNiro, okay.

940
00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:31,600
How about a couple of musicians?

941
00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:33,600
Yeah, they're always good.

942
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:35,600
Oh, damn, this is going to be a tough one.

943
00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:39,600
This is going to be a tough one.

944
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:41,600
Okay.

945
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:43,600
Dubnet, Dave Mustaine

946
00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:45,600
and Billy Givens.

947
00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:47,600
Oh.

948
00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:49,600
Well, we could

949
00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:51,600
always take the route that Billy

950
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:53,600
Givens is not afraid of facial

951
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:55,600
hair, so he probably never

952
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:57,600
even looks at his asshole hair or even

953
00:46:57,600 --> 00:46:59,600
thinks about it, so it's probably nuts

954
00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:01,600
down there. At the same time, I think

955
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:03,600
Dave Mustaine is the kind of guy

956
00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:05,600
that would go around and tell people

957
00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:07,600
that they have to like comb his asshole hair

958
00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:09,600
because he's Dave Mustaine of

959
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:11,600
Megadeth.

960
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:13,600
I'm kind of going, yeah.

961
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:15,600
I, yeah.

962
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:17,600
I understand where you're coming from there.

963
00:47:17,600 --> 00:47:19,600
I'm almost leaning

964
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:21,600
to Mustaine just because

965
00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:23,600
he's got the snotty factor.

966
00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:25,600
He's kind of like, I'm Dave Mustaine, fucking

967
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:27,600
you, you are going

968
00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:29,600
to comb my asshole

969
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:31,600
hair and you're going to thank me for the red

970
00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:33,600
asshole hair that I have because

971
00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:35,600
I am a ginger.

972
00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:41,600
So,

973
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:43,600
what's your...

974
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:45,600
Honestly, honestly?

975
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:47,600
Yeah.

976
00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:49,600
I think I gotta

977
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:51,600
go with Dave too because

978
00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:53,600
I'm seriously doubt.

979
00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:55,600
I'm seriously doubt.

980
00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:57,600
I'm seriously doubt.

981
00:47:57,600 --> 00:47:59,600
I'm seriously doubt.

982
00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:01,600
If you really mean many people

983
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:03,600
have gotten close enough to check out Billy.

984
00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:05,600
You're probably right.

985
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:07,600
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

986
00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:09,600
All I want to see is your asshole.

987
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:11,600
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

988
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:13,600
I don't think you'll get to that asshole.

989
00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:15,600
Yeah, you're right, man.

990
00:48:15,600 --> 00:48:17,600
Ebrite cuts whiskey and beer

991
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:19,600
for it so bad that you can't even be in the same

992
00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:21,600
room.

993
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:23,600
He's going to go,

994
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:25,600
hey guys, check out my new...

995
00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:27,600
No, that's cool.

996
00:48:27,600 --> 00:48:29,600
Thank you, Billy. Sounds great.

997
00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:31,600
See you later.

998
00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:33,600
Okay, we have two more

999
00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:35,600
matchups.

1000
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:39,600
Let's go. Jack Nicholson

1001
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:41,600
and Badal Castro.

1002
00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:43,600
Ooh.

1003
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:47,600
Mmm.

1004
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:49,600
Damn, damn.

1005
00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:51,600
I can see that one being one of the

1006
00:48:51,600 --> 00:48:53,600
sign horses.

1007
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:55,600
Real nut tucker here.

1008
00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:57,600
Real nut tucker.

1009
00:48:57,600 --> 00:48:59,600
Wow.

1010
00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:01,600
I'm almost saying we give

1011
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:03,600
them a draw and then fucking put them

1012
00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:05,600
both to the next round against somebody

1013
00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:07,600
else.

1014
00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:11,600
I mean, as a matter of

1015
00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:13,600
fact, I mean, they might be Hall of Fame

1016
00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:15,600
worthy, but we're not going to worry about that today.

1017
00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:17,600
There are too many stories to get to.

1018
00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:19,600
Yeah, because we have

1019
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:21,600
one Hall of Famer in the final battle.

1020
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:23,600
Yeah, and that's T. Swift.

1021
00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:25,600
She's...

1022
00:49:25,600 --> 00:49:27,600
Hang on, hang on.

1023
00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:29,600
Okay, so we're moving both

1024
00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:31,600
of them on. Let's move them both on

1025
00:49:31,600 --> 00:49:33,600
and not put them against each other.

1026
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:37,600
Okay, tie, tie.

1027
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:39,600
Alright.

1028
00:49:39,600 --> 00:49:41,600
Okay, so tonight's final

1029
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:43,600
hair ass battle

1030
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:45,600
goes to

1031
00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:47,600
like you

1032
00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:49,600
just pulled it out,

1033
00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:51,600
Taylor Swift

1034
00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:55,600
and Mark Zuckerberg.

1035
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:57,600
Oh, two gingers.

1036
00:49:57,600 --> 00:49:59,600
Oh.

1037
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:01,600
Oh.

1038
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:05,600
Okay.

1039
00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:07,600
I am going to

1040
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:09,600
go with, and here's

1041
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:11,600
my reasoning. Now hear me out on

1042
00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:13,600
this, okay?

1043
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:15,600
Okay, Mark Zuckerberg

1044
00:50:15,600 --> 00:50:17,600
because Taylor Swift

1045
00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:19,600
wears those little panties on stage

1046
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:21,600
and she has to watch her ass hair

1047
00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:23,600
somewhat.

1048
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:25,600
Zuckerberg doesn't

1049
00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:27,600
have to at all.

1050
00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:29,600
And I think that he's that kind of dick where

1051
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:31,600
he just lets it fucking flow everywhere.

1052
00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:33,600
He's like, yeah, look at my

1053
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:35,600
fucking ginger asshole hair. Yeah,

1054
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:37,600
look at it. It's Mark Zuckerberg

1055
00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:39,600
asshole hair. It's the best hair ever.

1056
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:41,600
Come, come look at my

1057
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:43,600
beautiful majestic

1058
00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:45,600
asshole hair.

1059
00:50:45,600 --> 00:50:47,600
And I think T. Swift has to

1060
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:49,600
keep it somewhat under control.

1061
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:51,600
She can't have the fucking

1062
00:50:51,600 --> 00:50:53,600
rambling out of those little panties she wears

1063
00:50:53,600 --> 00:50:55,600
on stage.

1064
00:50:57,600 --> 00:50:59,600
That's my

1065
00:50:59,600 --> 00:51:01,600
thought.

1066
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:05,600
Even though she is

1067
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:07,600
in the Hall of Fame.

1068
00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:11,600
Man,

1069
00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:15,600
I'm starting to wonder

1070
00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:17,600
maybe that ain't what

1071
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:19,600
caught Travis Dalsey's attention.

1072
00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:23,600
Well, I don't see an asshole hair

1073
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:25,600
poking out of there.

1074
00:51:27,600 --> 00:51:29,600
May have reminded

1075
00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:31,600
of his brother.

1076
00:51:31,600 --> 00:51:33,600
Who was in

1077
00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:35,600
our competition. Yes, I forgot

1078
00:51:35,600 --> 00:51:37,600
who he lost to, but you know what?

1079
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:39,600
He might, he'll probably pop up on

1080
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:41,600
the next one because Jason Kelsey

1081
00:51:41,600 --> 00:51:43,600
is a solid in the asshole hair

1082
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:45,600
Olympics.

1083
00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:51,600
I'm going with T. Swift because of what I just said.

1084
00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:55,600
Yeah, solid, Zuckerberg.

1085
00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:57,600
Because I

1086
00:51:57,600 --> 00:51:59,600
think that T. Swift has to

1087
00:51:59,600 --> 00:52:01,600
has to trim her somewhere.

1088
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:03,600
Because if not, they'll be

1089
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:05,600
pulling out those little bitty fucking

1090
00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:07,600
skimpy panties she wears on stage.

1091
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:09,600
And I think that she has

1092
00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:11,600
to keep them somewhat trimmed.

1093
00:52:11,600 --> 00:52:13,600
Reluctantly, but

1094
00:52:13,600 --> 00:52:15,600
she has to.

1095
00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:21,600
And Zuckerberg is just like

1096
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:23,600
he's got those red ginger

1097
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:25,600
ass hillers everywhere going

1098
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:27,600
ha ha ha, look at me!

1099
00:52:27,600 --> 00:52:29,600
That is Swift.

1100
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:31,600
You are in the

1101
00:52:31,600 --> 00:52:33,600
asshole whole thing.

1102
00:52:33,600 --> 00:52:35,600
She needs to be brought up

1103
00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:37,600
at any time.

1104
00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:49,600
So we got

1105
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:51,600
six in a tie.

1106
00:52:57,600 --> 00:52:59,600
Our winners

1107
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:01,600
Nancy Pelosi

1108
00:53:03,600 --> 00:53:05,600
Dave Mustaine

1109
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:09,600
Aaron Rodgers

1110
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:13,600
Robert De Niro

1111
00:53:15,600 --> 00:53:17,600
Madonna

1112
00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:21,600
Mark Zuckerberg

1113
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:23,600
That is a beautiful list.

1114
00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:25,600
I'm very proud of this Rob.

1115
00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:27,600
Now, now, the

1116
00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:29,600
tie.

1117
00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:31,600
There is a tie.

1118
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:33,600
Jack Nicholson

1119
00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:35,600
and Fidel Castro.

1120
00:53:37,600 --> 00:53:39,600
That one right there,

1121
00:53:39,600 --> 00:53:41,600
that may be the final.

1122
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:43,600
That's why I said we need to tie them up

1123
00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:45,600
and bring them both to the next round.

1124
00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:47,600
That could be the final.

1125
00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:49,600
That could be the final square off right there.

1126
00:53:51,600 --> 00:53:53,600
They are both solid

1127
00:53:53,600 --> 00:53:55,600
all the way around.

1128
00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:57,600
Now, the other reason I got to

1129
00:53:57,600 --> 00:53:59,600
look Swift, but she is

1130
00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:01,600
the Hall of Fame to be brought up at

1131
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:03,600
any moment.

1132
00:54:03,600 --> 00:54:05,600
She is the wild card.

1133
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:07,600
And also, I think the other

1134
00:54:07,600 --> 00:54:09,600
person that ought to have

1135
00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:11,600
consideration for the Hall of Fame is Mark Zuckerberg.

1136
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:15,600
We'll talk about that later.

1137
00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:17,600
Yeah, we will. We will.

1138
00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:19,600
And there's a couple other ones too, if we really

1139
00:54:19,600 --> 00:54:21,600
wanted to get down to it, that deserve

1140
00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:23,600
probably Hall of Fame

1141
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:25,600
status also.

1142
00:54:25,600 --> 00:54:27,600
But we'll get to that in a later time.

1143
00:54:27,600 --> 00:54:29,600
I'm happy with our picks.

1144
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:31,600
I think we've done really good with this.

1145
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:35,600
We still got another round to go.

1146
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:37,600
Oh yeah, we do.

1147
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:39,600
Yes, we do.

1148
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:41,600
One question.

1149
00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:43,600
In the next rounds,

1150
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:47,600
can the first round

1151
00:54:47,600 --> 00:54:49,600
losers make a reappearance?

1152
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:51,600
I was going to get to that.

1153
00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:53,600
Yes.

1154
00:54:53,600 --> 00:54:55,600
You and I both have wild cards.

1155
00:54:57,600 --> 00:54:59,600
Okay?

1156
00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:01,600
And at any time, you feel

1157
00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:03,600
that someone is kind of

1158
00:55:03,600 --> 00:55:05,600
unjustly getting knocked out,

1159
00:55:05,600 --> 00:55:07,600
you can use your wild card either to keep

1160
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:09,600
them or bring in a mystery

1161
00:55:09,600 --> 00:55:11,600
challenger. It can be one that's already

1162
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:13,600
done or someone you picked out of thin

1163
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:15,600
air.

1164
00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:19,600
Okay, well,

1165
00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:21,600
I'm saying for like round two,

1166
00:55:21,600 --> 00:55:23,600
some of our

1167
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:25,600
losers come back and compete again.

1168
00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:27,600
Yes, it can be one that we've already

1169
00:55:27,600 --> 00:55:29,600
done or someone that you just thought of

1170
00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:31,600
and you said, I'm going to...

1171
00:55:31,600 --> 00:55:33,600
And all you got to do is you just go,

1172
00:55:33,600 --> 00:55:35,600
I'm throwing my wild card up.

1173
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:37,600
Like, let's say

1174
00:55:37,600 --> 00:55:39,600
we're doing Castro

1175
00:55:39,600 --> 00:55:41,600
against

1176
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:43,600
Gibbons.

1177
00:55:43,600 --> 00:55:45,600
Okay? Yeah. And all

1178
00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:47,600
of a sudden, wild card,

1179
00:55:47,600 --> 00:55:49,600
then all of a sudden, the game has to

1180
00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:51,600
stop and you have to introduce

1181
00:55:51,600 --> 00:55:53,600
who you want pitted up against to.

1182
00:55:55,600 --> 00:55:57,600
Awesome.

1183
00:55:57,600 --> 00:55:59,600
Yeah, and it can be someone we've already done

1184
00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:01,600
that you want back in that you think

1185
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:03,600
was unfairly ousted,

1186
00:56:03,600 --> 00:56:05,600
or it could be someone that we never thought of

1187
00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:07,600
that you think deserves to be in there.

1188
00:56:07,600 --> 00:56:09,600
And when does wild

1189
00:56:09,600 --> 00:56:11,600
cards start?

1190
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:13,600
Next round or from now on?

1191
00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:15,600
Next round.

1192
00:56:15,600 --> 00:56:17,600
From now on.

1193
00:56:17,600 --> 00:56:19,600
From now on.

1194
00:56:19,600 --> 00:56:21,600
Okay. From now on,

1195
00:56:21,600 --> 00:56:23,600
when we get to the

1196
00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:25,600
Elite Eight, is

1197
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:27,600
wild card eligible?

1198
00:56:31,600 --> 00:56:33,600
How many people we have left?

1199
00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:35,600
Well, we're at six with a tie,

1200
00:56:35,600 --> 00:56:37,600
so we're at eight. Okay.

1201
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:39,600
We're at the Elite Eight, so

1202
00:56:39,600 --> 00:56:41,600
next round is wild

1203
00:56:41,600 --> 00:56:45,600
card eligible.

1204
00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:47,600
One

1205
00:56:47,600 --> 00:56:49,600
person each.

1206
00:56:49,600 --> 00:56:51,600
Yeah, I mean, it's wherever

1207
00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:53,600
it lands, whether it's eight people,

1208
00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:55,600
it's gotta be eight people or below.

1209
00:56:55,600 --> 00:56:57,600
So whenever we reach

1210
00:56:57,600 --> 00:56:59,600
eight or six or whoever,

1211
00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:01,600
then

1212
00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:03,600
we're wild card

1213
00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:05,600
eligible.

1214
00:57:05,600 --> 00:57:07,600
That's all I'm saying. Next week we can bring

1215
00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:09,600
somebody back. Yes.

1216
00:57:09,600 --> 00:57:11,600
Cause we're eight now.

1217
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:13,600
Yes.

1218
00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:15,600
Okay. Okay.

1219
00:57:15,600 --> 00:57:17,600
Sounds good to me.

1220
00:57:17,600 --> 00:57:19,600
Alright.

1221
00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:21,600
So, anyhow, we'll

1222
00:57:21,600 --> 00:57:23,600
be right back with

1223
00:57:23,600 --> 00:57:25,600
Breakfast for Wars.

1224
00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:29,600
As much fun as an

1225
00:57:29,600 --> 00:57:31,600
electric can opener to the scrotum,

1226
00:57:31,600 --> 00:57:39,600
two douchebags in a microphone.

1227
00:57:39,600 --> 00:57:41,600
Help! Help! Help!

1228
00:57:41,600 --> 00:57:43,600
Oh lord,

1229
00:57:43,600 --> 00:57:45,600
that man just saw a puppy in half.

1230
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:47,600
Hey there, don't

1231
00:57:47,600 --> 00:57:49,600
worry, I have a clown nose.

1232
00:57:53,600 --> 00:57:55,600
Oh no!

1233
00:57:55,600 --> 00:57:57,600
That drunk guy just hit my child!

1234
00:57:57,600 --> 00:57:59,600
It's okay.

1235
00:57:59,600 --> 00:58:01,600
I have a clown nose.

1236
00:58:01,600 --> 00:58:03,600
Clown nose!

1237
00:58:03,600 --> 00:58:05,600
Just put one on and you can do anything!

1238
00:58:05,600 --> 00:58:07,600
Wanna run for office?

1239
00:58:07,600 --> 00:58:09,600
Murder people in public?

1240
00:58:09,600 --> 00:58:11,600
Just grab a clown nose and bam!

1241
00:58:11,600 --> 00:58:13,600
Everyone laughs!

1242
00:58:13,600 --> 00:58:15,600
Clown noses are sold at gag stores online and

1243
00:58:15,600 --> 00:58:17,600
pedophile conventions. Grab one today and make magic happen.

1244
00:58:19,600 --> 00:58:21,600
Hey look, I think we found land!

1245
00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:23,600
Oh my god, I think we're safe!

1246
00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:25,600
Oh no!

1247
00:58:25,600 --> 00:58:29,600
Island of horrible jokes!

1248
00:58:29,600 --> 00:58:33,600
What did the coach say to the vending machine?

1249
00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:35,600
Give me my quarterback!

1250
00:58:41,600 --> 00:58:45,600
Two douchebags in a microphone invade your ear holes in?

1251
00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:55,600
Hey! Who took a dump in the cooler?

1252
00:59:03,600 --> 00:59:07,600
Alright, welcome back baby bitches, this is Mark.

1253
00:59:07,600 --> 00:59:09,600
And I'm Rob.

1254
00:59:09,600 --> 00:59:11,600
Two douchebags in a microphone, we are.

1255
00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:17,600
As before promised, breakfast food wars.

1256
00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:21,600
This is the same thing as before.

1257
00:59:21,600 --> 00:59:23,600
It started out...

1258
00:59:23,600 --> 00:59:25,600
You're making me hungry now.

1259
00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:27,600
Oh, when I get done with this list you'll be hungry.

1260
00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:29,600
Definitely. Even worse.

1261
00:59:29,600 --> 00:59:33,600
There's some good stuff on here.

1262
00:59:33,600 --> 00:59:39,600
So like always, I was walking through a Costco or something like that.

1263
00:59:39,600 --> 00:59:43,600
I was going through the fruit department. This is how it originated.

1264
00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:49,600
And I'm sitting there looking at the peaches and oranges or the bananas and the grapes.

1265
00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:55,600
I'm like, what would happen if one of those fucking bananas jumped up and just started kicking the shit out of that orange?

1266
00:59:55,600 --> 00:59:57,600
Who would win?

1267
00:59:57,600 --> 01:00:01,600
And then that's how this whole thing originated in my fucked up brain.

1268
01:00:01,600 --> 01:00:09,600
We need to walk through a grocery store together because between your mind and my mind we'd have some hellish...

1269
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:11,600
Oh yeah, we would.

1270
01:00:11,600 --> 01:00:15,600
We'll have to make a point of that.

1271
01:00:15,600 --> 01:00:17,600
So this is breakfast food wars.

1272
01:00:17,600 --> 01:00:21,600
Like I said, we were at the Crescent Hotel.

1273
01:00:21,600 --> 01:00:25,600
Pretty good storm ripping through Eureka Springs.

1274
01:00:25,600 --> 01:00:27,600
This is the day we were scheduled to come home.

1275
01:00:27,600 --> 01:00:32,600
And we really had nothing to do. It was really storming.

1276
01:00:32,600 --> 01:00:35,600
And we really didn't want to do any more shopping inside anywhere.

1277
01:00:35,600 --> 01:00:39,600
Nothing was open actually because it was Sunday morning.

1278
01:00:39,600 --> 01:00:41,600
Right.

1279
01:00:41,600 --> 01:00:43,600
Or no, it was Saturday morning. Saturday morning.

1280
01:00:43,600 --> 01:00:45,600
But nothing was open yet.

1281
01:00:45,600 --> 01:00:49,600
So we're like, you know, we're not going to stay around three hours.

1282
01:00:49,600 --> 01:00:51,600
The store will be through in an hour.

1283
01:00:51,600 --> 01:00:53,600
So we're going to go have breakfast.

1284
01:00:53,600 --> 01:00:57,600
And anyhow, I'm looking at this buffet with all these different breakfast foods.

1285
01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:01,600
I'm like, man, I see some potential really good bites here.

1286
01:01:01,600 --> 01:01:04,600
So here we go.

1287
01:01:04,600 --> 01:01:07,600
The first breakfast food war.

1288
01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:13,600
Bacon versus sausage.

1289
01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:15,600
Hmm.

1290
01:01:15,600 --> 01:01:19,600
I know that's a tough one, isn't it?

1291
01:01:19,600 --> 01:01:23,600
Now the thing I want to know, is it thick cut or is it a...

1292
01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:24,600
Sausage.

1293
01:01:24,600 --> 01:01:26,600
Okay, sausage.

1294
01:01:26,600 --> 01:01:30,600
Because it's round and it's tough and it's kind of...

1295
01:01:30,600 --> 01:01:36,600
It's kind of, I don't know, kind of toughish put together well.

1296
01:01:36,600 --> 01:01:40,600
But if you put sausage in a link, it's like a baseball bat.

1297
01:01:40,600 --> 01:01:42,600
It'll beat the hell out of it.

1298
01:01:42,600 --> 01:01:43,600
Good point.

1299
01:01:43,600 --> 01:01:47,600
Alright, sausage it is.

1300
01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:50,600
Ham versus egg.

1301
01:01:50,600 --> 01:01:55,600
Eggs.

1302
01:01:55,600 --> 01:02:06,600
Now could eggs like pop themselves if they're over easy and maybe like drown ham?

1303
01:02:06,600 --> 01:02:09,600
See, that's what I was wondering.

1304
01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:11,600
Get that slime in the eyes.

1305
01:02:11,600 --> 01:02:13,600
I'm going to go with that.

1306
01:02:13,600 --> 01:02:17,600
Kind of like that black egg where you had the peppers in the glass.

1307
01:02:17,600 --> 01:02:18,600
Yeah.

1308
01:02:18,600 --> 01:02:20,600
Okay, that convinced me right there.

1309
01:02:20,600 --> 01:02:21,600
Eggs.

1310
01:02:21,600 --> 01:02:26,600
I think eggs are going to beat ham.

1311
01:02:26,600 --> 01:02:30,600
Alright, eggs it is.

1312
01:02:30,600 --> 01:02:32,600
Not all I love ham.

1313
01:02:32,600 --> 01:02:33,600
I do too.

1314
01:02:33,600 --> 01:02:38,600
Ham's awesome, but I just think eggs can kick its ass if it does things right.

1315
01:02:38,600 --> 01:02:40,600
So you turn it to a black egg.

1316
01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:42,600
Yes.

1317
01:02:42,600 --> 01:02:48,600
Next one, biscuits versus grits.

1318
01:02:48,600 --> 01:02:52,600
That's a tough one because I think grits could like smother biscuits.

1319
01:02:52,600 --> 01:02:54,600
Biscuits.

1320
01:02:54,600 --> 01:02:56,600
You think of biscuit?

1321
01:02:56,600 --> 01:02:58,600
Why?

1322
01:02:58,600 --> 01:03:01,600
You pop the biscuit open and it's going to absorb that grit.

1323
01:03:01,600 --> 01:03:04,600
Ooh.

1324
01:03:04,600 --> 01:03:07,600
Alright, okay, you convinced me.

1325
01:03:07,600 --> 01:03:10,600
Biscuit it is.

1326
01:03:10,600 --> 01:03:13,600
This next one's odd.

1327
01:03:13,600 --> 01:03:17,600
So I'm going to let you hash it out and see what you think.

1328
01:03:17,600 --> 01:03:20,600
Because I don't really hash it out.

1329
01:03:20,600 --> 01:03:21,600
Okay, eggs Benedict.

1330
01:03:21,600 --> 01:03:23,600
I don't know, I'm doing pretty good tonight.

1331
01:03:23,600 --> 01:03:24,600
You are?

1332
01:03:24,600 --> 01:03:28,600
Eggs Benedict versus quiche.

1333
01:03:28,600 --> 01:03:37,600
Good luck.

1334
01:03:37,600 --> 01:03:39,600
Damn.

1335
01:03:39,600 --> 01:03:47,600
There you go with the covered and the running over.

1336
01:03:47,600 --> 01:03:49,600
I'm going to go with quiche.

1337
01:03:49,600 --> 01:03:51,600
Okay, quiche.

1338
01:03:51,600 --> 01:03:52,600
That's who I was going to go with.

1339
01:03:52,600 --> 01:03:56,600
I think quiche is just going to stand up and it's going to fly swatter that thing.

1340
01:03:56,600 --> 01:04:00,600
I think the quiche is a lot tougher than people give it credit for.

1341
01:04:00,600 --> 01:04:06,600
Yeah, I think quiche is even folded up, it's just going to stand up and fly swatter.

1342
01:04:06,600 --> 01:04:09,600
Now I think it's going to just beat the shit out of eggs Benedict.

1343
01:04:09,600 --> 01:04:10,600
Yeah.

1344
01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:11,600
Yeah.

1345
01:04:11,600 --> 01:04:12,600
Okay.

1346
01:04:12,600 --> 01:04:16,600
This next one is really tough, but I've got a definite favorite on it.

1347
01:04:16,600 --> 01:04:20,600
Fried potatoes versus hash browns.

1348
01:04:20,600 --> 01:04:24,600
Now I want to know if the fried potatoes have onions.

1349
01:04:24,600 --> 01:04:28,600
They have onions and they go through.

1350
01:04:28,600 --> 01:04:30,600
Yeah, definitely.

1351
01:04:30,600 --> 01:04:39,600
Okay, let's say with onions they beat the hell out of hash browns, agreed?

1352
01:04:39,600 --> 01:04:41,600
No, you know what?

1353
01:04:41,600 --> 01:04:42,600
Well think about it.

1354
01:04:42,600 --> 01:04:46,600
I'd give it to hash browns all the way around.

1355
01:04:46,600 --> 01:04:48,600
Really, why?

1356
01:04:48,600 --> 01:04:51,600
Hash browns don't cover it like a net.

1357
01:04:51,600 --> 01:04:53,600
Well, here's where I looked at it.

1358
01:04:53,600 --> 01:04:55,600
No matter what it is.

1359
01:04:55,600 --> 01:04:58,600
Here's where I thought that onions are not.

1360
01:04:58,600 --> 01:05:07,600
Onions would make the hash browns cry, therefore making fried potatoes be able to jump it really quick and win.

1361
01:05:07,600 --> 01:05:13,600
Well hash browns still are shredded, so it's like a net.

1362
01:05:13,600 --> 01:05:16,600
Hmm.

1363
01:05:16,600 --> 01:05:17,600
That was my thought.

1364
01:05:17,600 --> 01:05:18,600
Yeah, okay.

1365
01:05:18,600 --> 01:05:19,600
You know what, I agree with that.

1366
01:05:19,600 --> 01:05:22,600
Let's move those on.

1367
01:05:22,600 --> 01:05:24,600
Okay, it's a draw.

1368
01:05:24,600 --> 01:05:25,600
Okay.

1369
01:05:25,600 --> 01:05:28,600
Well, no, no, no, actually it should be hash browns.

1370
01:05:28,600 --> 01:05:30,600
Here's why.

1371
01:05:30,600 --> 01:05:38,600
Okay, when the onions are cooked they lose their power of making you cry.

1372
01:05:38,600 --> 01:05:39,600
Yeah.

1373
01:05:39,600 --> 01:05:40,600
It mulls them out.

1374
01:05:40,600 --> 01:05:43,600
So they're not going to make the hash browns cry.

1375
01:05:43,600 --> 01:05:48,600
So the hash browns will kick the shit out of the fried potatoes.

1376
01:05:48,600 --> 01:05:49,600
That's what I was saying.

1377
01:05:49,600 --> 01:05:53,600
Hash browns mix waste together like a net.

1378
01:05:53,600 --> 01:05:55,600
Yeah, yep.

1379
01:05:55,600 --> 01:05:56,600
I would like a net.

1380
01:05:56,600 --> 01:05:58,600
Yeah, that's true.

1381
01:05:58,600 --> 01:06:04,600
Bagel versus toast.

1382
01:06:04,600 --> 01:06:06,600
Bagel.

1383
01:06:06,600 --> 01:06:07,600
Bagel.

1384
01:06:07,600 --> 01:06:10,600
Bagel's a tough little bastard.

1385
01:06:10,600 --> 01:06:11,600
This next one could be...

1386
01:06:11,600 --> 01:06:12,600
Bagels.

1387
01:06:12,600 --> 01:06:14,600
Bagels are bigger and heavier.

1388
01:06:14,600 --> 01:06:15,600
Yeah, they're like really thick.

1389
01:06:15,600 --> 01:06:16,600
Pounced on a piece of toast.

1390
01:06:16,600 --> 01:06:19,600
They're really thick and kind of spongy and more...

1391
01:06:19,600 --> 01:06:20,600
Yeah.

1392
01:06:20,600 --> 01:06:21,600
Pounced on.

1393
01:06:21,600 --> 01:06:22,600
Yep.

1394
01:06:22,600 --> 01:06:27,600
Cinnamon roll versus bear claw.

1395
01:06:27,600 --> 01:06:29,600
I like how you go bear claw.

1396
01:06:29,600 --> 01:06:30,600
Me too.

1397
01:06:30,600 --> 01:06:35,600
Just the name, bear claw.

1398
01:06:35,600 --> 01:06:38,600
Yeah, and it's hard and crusty.

1399
01:06:38,600 --> 01:06:39,600
Yep.

1400
01:06:39,600 --> 01:06:44,600
Pancakes versus avocado toast.

1401
01:06:44,600 --> 01:06:45,600
Pancakes.

1402
01:06:45,600 --> 01:06:47,600
Pancakes.

1403
01:06:47,600 --> 01:06:50,600
Cereal versus oatmeal.

1404
01:06:50,600 --> 01:06:53,600
I say oatmeal.

1405
01:06:53,600 --> 01:06:54,600
Oatmeal's smaller.

1406
01:06:54,600 --> 01:06:55,600
Yeah.

1407
01:06:55,600 --> 01:06:56,600
Yep.

1408
01:06:56,600 --> 01:06:57,600
Yeah.

1409
01:06:57,600 --> 01:06:59,600
Next one, breath.

1410
01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:06,600
Breakfast pizza versus breakfast scrambler bowl.

1411
01:07:06,600 --> 01:07:07,600
Pizza.

1412
01:07:07,600 --> 01:07:08,600
Pizza.

1413
01:07:08,600 --> 01:07:11,600
Yeah, every time a piece on top of the bowl, it can't move.

1414
01:07:11,600 --> 01:07:13,600
Can't move, yep.

1415
01:07:13,600 --> 01:07:14,600
And last...

1416
01:07:14,600 --> 01:07:15,600
And the blanket.

1417
01:07:15,600 --> 01:07:21,600
Last but not least, omelet versus breakfast burrito.

1418
01:07:21,600 --> 01:07:23,600
Burrito.

1419
01:07:23,600 --> 01:07:31,600
Yeah, burrito's like thick and round and just...

1420
01:07:31,600 --> 01:07:38,600
The burrito would turn to a bat and beat the hell out of it.

1421
01:07:38,600 --> 01:07:40,600
Yeah, and beat the hell out of the omelet.

1422
01:07:40,600 --> 01:07:43,600
Smash the ingredients into nothing and it walks off laughing.

1423
01:07:43,600 --> 01:07:44,600
Yep.

1424
01:07:44,600 --> 01:07:45,600
And anyhow, the...

1425
01:07:45,600 --> 01:07:48,600
Yep, there you go.

1426
01:07:48,600 --> 01:07:50,600
All right.

1427
01:07:50,600 --> 01:07:53,600
So you have anything you want to add?

1428
01:07:53,600 --> 01:07:55,600
Do you want to keep going?

1429
01:07:55,600 --> 01:07:57,600
Do you want to call it an evening?

1430
01:07:57,600 --> 01:07:58,600
What do you want to do, Rob?

1431
01:07:58,600 --> 01:08:00,600
Yeah, I'm getting a little tired, my friend.

1432
01:08:00,600 --> 01:08:02,600
All right, you have any final thoughts, huh?

1433
01:08:02,600 --> 01:08:04,600
Wait a second, wait a second.

1434
01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:06,600
I do have one thing.

1435
01:08:06,600 --> 01:08:07,600
Okay.

1436
01:08:07,600 --> 01:08:12,600
We were talking about Gunja and Rose's earlier.

1437
01:08:12,600 --> 01:08:14,600
Oh yeah, yeah.

1438
01:08:14,600 --> 01:08:17,600
I've had this pulled out just waiting to read it.

1439
01:08:17,600 --> 01:08:20,600
Okay.

1440
01:08:20,600 --> 01:08:35,600
Gunja and Rose is expected to officially release the shelved Chinese Democracy era song, perhaps, on Friday, August 11th.

1441
01:08:35,600 --> 01:08:37,600
Oh yes, the new JNR song.

1442
01:08:37,600 --> 01:08:40,600
I didn't know it was from Chinese Democracy.

1443
01:08:40,600 --> 01:08:41,600
Okay.

1444
01:08:41,600 --> 01:08:49,600
It's shelved Chinese Democracy era song.

1445
01:08:49,600 --> 01:08:53,600
But they're finally releasing it.

1446
01:08:53,600 --> 01:09:07,600
Gunja and Rose's reportedly soundchecked, perhaps, the head of the band's concert in Tel Aviv, Israel, on June 5th.

1447
01:09:07,600 --> 01:09:14,600
But, in the end, that's not the song we're going to be listening to.

1448
01:09:14,600 --> 01:09:16,600
Okay.

1449
01:09:16,600 --> 01:09:18,600
I'm waiting for the song myself.

1450
01:09:18,600 --> 01:09:20,600
I think it's going to be good.

1451
01:09:20,600 --> 01:09:24,600
Yeah, I really think it is.

1452
01:09:24,600 --> 01:09:27,600
And that's what, this Friday?

1453
01:09:27,600 --> 01:09:28,600
Yes.

1454
01:09:28,600 --> 01:09:30,600
Yes.

1455
01:09:30,600 --> 01:09:32,600
I'm waiting for it.

1456
01:09:32,600 --> 01:09:34,600
Are you ready for the final thought?

1457
01:09:34,600 --> 01:09:36,600
I have one.

1458
01:09:36,600 --> 01:09:38,600
I do not tonight.

1459
01:09:38,600 --> 01:09:39,600
Okay, that's fine. I've got one.

1460
01:09:39,600 --> 01:09:40,600
I'll see you next time.

1461
01:09:40,600 --> 01:09:42,600
Okay.

1462
01:09:42,600 --> 01:09:50,600
My final thought, the 96-year-old Dick Van Dyke on staying young and looking fit.

1463
01:09:50,600 --> 01:09:52,600
Which he does.

1464
01:09:52,600 --> 01:10:00,600
He does push-ups every day. He does weights. He does exercise bike. He's 96 years old and he looks fantastic.

1465
01:10:00,600 --> 01:10:03,600
Especially for 96.

1466
01:10:03,600 --> 01:10:10,600
He said, in my 70s, I exercised to stay ambulatory.

1467
01:10:10,600 --> 01:10:16,600
In my 80s, I exercised to avoid assisted living.

1468
01:10:16,600 --> 01:10:22,600
In my 90s, I exercised for defiance.

1469
01:10:22,600 --> 01:10:31,600
There you go. Thank you, Mr. Dick Van Dyke. You are a gem, a credit, a one-of-the-kind.

1470
01:10:31,600 --> 01:10:34,600
We love you and I hope you live forever.

1471
01:10:34,600 --> 01:10:35,600
Anyhow, everybody.

1472
01:10:35,600 --> 01:10:39,600
And a fellow Missouri resident.

1473
01:10:39,600 --> 01:10:41,600
Oh yes, that's right.

1474
01:10:41,600 --> 01:10:45,600
Born and raised in West Plains, Missouri.

1475
01:10:45,600 --> 01:10:49,600
Yes, he was. You can go to West Plains and see his big plaque thing there.

1476
01:10:49,600 --> 01:10:50,600
Yes, you can.

1477
01:10:50,600 --> 01:10:53,600
Yep, yep. Very good catch there, Rob.

1478
01:10:53,600 --> 01:10:54,600
And Rob, on that note.

1479
01:10:54,600 --> 01:10:56,600
Another part of Ozark history.

1480
01:10:56,600 --> 01:11:05,600
It is, even though the West Plains are kind of a let-down because everyone says it's Ozarks.

1481
01:11:05,600 --> 01:11:08,600
You go there and there's really not any hills.

1482
01:11:08,600 --> 01:11:14,600
No, it's...well, West Plains is more closer to the...

1483
01:11:14,600 --> 01:11:15,600
Boothill.

1484
01:11:15,600 --> 01:11:20,600
...Kenneth-C. Yeah, Boothill, Tennessee line.

1485
01:11:20,600 --> 01:11:28,600
But anyhow, alright Rob, you have a fantastic evening. Thank you for being a part of this podcast again.

1486
01:11:28,600 --> 01:11:29,600
You too.

1487
01:11:29,600 --> 01:11:34,600
Alright man, take care. Everybody out there, we will see you next time.

1488
01:11:34,600 --> 01:11:35,600
Same bat time.

1489
01:11:35,600 --> 01:11:36,600
Good night.

1490
01:11:36,600 --> 01:11:38,600
Same bat channel.

1491
01:11:38,600 --> 01:11:42,600
Hey, where did everybody go? Where are the douchebags?

1492
01:11:42,600 --> 01:11:46,600
Oh my god, someone took a dump in the corner.

1493
01:11:46,600 --> 01:11:47,600
Oh jeez.

1494
01:11:47,600 --> 01:11:51,600
Ugh, I'm glad they're gone. Let's just hope they don't come back.

1495
01:11:51,600 --> 01:11:53,600
Man, that smells.

1496
01:11:55,600 --> 01:11:57,600
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

1497
01:11:57,600 --> 01:11:59,600
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

1498
01:11:59,600 --> 01:12:01,600
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

1499
01:12:01,600 --> 01:12:03,600
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

1500
01:12:03,600 --> 01:12:05,600
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

1501
01:12:05,600 --> 01:12:08,600
Man, that smells.