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from the beautiful crystal blue waters of the Missouri River, it is Tootbooshbags and

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Microphone Podcast.

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Do they make ear condoms?

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I certainly need them for this garbage.

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Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

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It's strange insults from an alien.

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Real hilarity.

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Mary, your grandmother always used to say that you were a

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master-maid.

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Well, I guess they finally figured out the microphone.

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Idiots.

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Two Shirley Tipples and a bottle of scotch will be right back.

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As much fun as an electric can opener to the scrotum.

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Two douchebags and a microphone.

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Two douchebags and a microphone invade your ear holes in.

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Hey, who took a dump in the cooler?

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Hi everybody, this is Tootbooshbags and Microphone.

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I'm Mark.

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And I'm Rob.

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Rob, you know we got a new email.

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Do we?

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Yes.

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It is, let me make sure I have this correct here.

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I'm going to get on my phone here where I have it and I'm going to make damn sure that

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I have the right one before I give it out.

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So if you have something you want to say like you'll hear on the promo, let loose with it

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at this address.

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It's a Yahoo address.

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And I was able to disattach it from everything else.

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Okay, it is D-O-U-C-H-E-B-6-6 at Yahoo.com.

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So it spells douche with a B. 6-6 at Yahoo.com.

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And there's a promo that will be running every single show with a voice guide telling you

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what it is.

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So all the people that have bitched me about sending emails and them not going through

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to the GoDaddy account, now you have that.

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You can send it to that and quite frankly I think I'm going to go ahead and maybe do

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away with two douchebags and microphone dot net because one of the main functions was

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number one I can only put the top five, the last five podcasts on there.

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I don't like that.

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I mean I'd rather them go be able to get anything from anywhere.

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It doesn't seem like I can sub.

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The whole thing about going to GoDaddy is a computer dummy like me is supposed to be

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able to use it and figure it out.

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Well anyhow, so we'll see.

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I may keep it or I may move it somewhere.

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So we'll see.

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So I just know that we need it to work better.

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So anyhow, we have this separate email account that I can get from anywhere.

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And I will give you the codes to it too.

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So if you want to take a look at it, if I don't have time or whatever, we can both get

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to it.

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So I'll give you the passwords and all that good shit.

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So anyway, okay.

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So I just got back a couple hours ago from our little mini vacay in Eureka Springs.

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Oh yeah, it was fun.

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On the way back over the exit just north of Nevada, Missouri, yes I said Nevada because

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they do not call it Nevada.

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Even though it is spelled just like Nevada, they say it is not Nevada.

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Just kind of like Miami, Oklahoma is Miami.

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You don't go down there and call it Miami because they will very quickly correct you

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and sternly and not very politely say it is not Miami, it's Miami.

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Well that is the way they are in Nevada.

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We're not Nevada.

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You are very correct there, they will cite you for that.

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Yes, and I used to go there and call it Nevada just to piss them off.

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So anyhow, but hey, one of my best friends ever, Bob, he was born and raised there so

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they did a good job with him, but he is no longer with us so now I can go back to teasing

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Nevada constantly.

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Nevada, Nevada, Nevada, Nevada.

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So we're on the exit just north of there which is still a Nevada exit.

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But you can get to Nevada by going around the access road and all that stuff.

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So there is this met doubt looking chick on the overpass with a road work highway sign

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holding it in the air trying to get everybody to look at it.

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And I was afraid she was going to let loose with it so I just fucking, I gunned the jeep

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and I get the hell out of there because I can see that bitch.

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If you see something on the news about someone killing someone over there in Nevada with

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a highway sign, that bitch did it.

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It was insane.

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I'll take an eye out for that.

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Oh my god.

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I go Val, I don't fucking believe this because she was like, I don't know, looking back for

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something.

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I go look at that shit up there.

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What?

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I go that's a fucking crazy ass bitch up there with a huge highway sign.

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I said yeah, she's pointing out right now but Val's like me, yeah, she's probably going

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to throw it at somebody when she gets, I don't know, thinks something in her met doubt brain

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or something.

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So anyhow, she's up there holding it up trying to get people to look at it.

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It's like, okay bitch, alright, let's play devil's advocate here if you will.

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Let's say that her son was killed, he was working in a work zone and someone ran him

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over.

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Okay?

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There was no road work around.

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So there's no, let's just say it was that, right?

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She was like all freaked out because her son was killed or her husband was killed in a

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work zone.

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So it was, you know, whoever it was was part of the highway department or whatever, right?

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There was no road work around.

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So in other words, even if she had a good excuse, which I'm sure she didn't because

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she looked met doubt to me, there was no road work to illustrate this with.

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It's like, well, I would gladly slow down to 50 or 45, but there's no road work bitch.

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So why are you holding this up?

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And not only that, but you could barely see it from the road anyhow.

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It's way up on the, it's a high overpass.

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It's one of the really high ones.

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It's one of the ones that they built later when they went to interstate because the interstate

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has to have all overpasses.

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This was a later one that they built to make it I-49 instead of 71 South.

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It's I-49 South.

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So, so they built the later ones higher.

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They built them up higher.

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So you could barely see her as it was.

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So anyhow, I'm pretty sure, looked to me like she was a met doubt freak and she was sitting

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there with that highway sign and I hoped to God she did not kill someone or destroy their

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car or critically injure or kind of injure anybody.

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So anyhow, that was interesting.

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We were running into a really good thunderstorm this morning.

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It was really cool.

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We were, we stayed the first couple of nights at this place called Flat Iron Flats, which

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is a fantastic place and I really, really suggest that.

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And then the last place that we stayed at was Lake Lucerne, but we picked the wrong

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one.

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Well, I picked the wrong one because I didn't know the area.

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I picked the one that was double the price and also didn't have any lake access.

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So anyhow, I will be leaving a really scathing review to them because it really pissed me

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off.

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This, they have it managed by this vacation people.

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I don't know if they're time share people or whatever, but they're based in Oregon and

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their names, Vecasso, Vecoso, Vecasa, I think it's Vecasa.

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And anyhow, we were trying to get in just an hour earlier and you have to go through

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booking.com and say, hey, can you give us an earlier time?

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Well, first I tried for two hours because it was like fucking a hundred degrees down

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there and we had to leave at one place at one o'clock and we couldn't check into the

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other place till four and we'd already eaten.

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So we didn't really have a place to go into.

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So we drive down there, they denied me, I went through booking.com, how they have it

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set up and it says, would you like to request an earlier check in time?

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So we couldn't check in till four so I asked from two to three, they denied it.

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Then I asked from three to four, they denied it again.

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So I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with these guys?

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So anyhow, we go down there just to check out where it's at because it's way in the

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wilderness and a couple of people, because we had to keep turning around because it wasn't

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clearly marked the cabins.

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So turn around and I'm coming back and, oh, okay, there it is, Lakefront number four,

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all right.

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But before we get there, a couple of people, they're the cleaning guys, they stop us and

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like, are you going in this cabin here?

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No, no, no, we got number four.

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This is number four right here, right?

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Lakefront and they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's number four.

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Okay.

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So, well, you know what?

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I got denied by the Vekasa.

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Is there any reason we can't get in there?

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I know we already cleaned it.

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We cleaned it about an hour ago.

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You should be able to get right in.

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So they gave us a pin number when I bought the thing, right?

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So I hope that pin number doesn't work.

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So we're sitting in front in the blazing heat and I call the Vekasa and this fucking bitch

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on there could, I could hear her rolling her eyes.

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This is how much she gave a shit.

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And I'm like, you know, we're sitting out here and, you know, we're dripping in sweat

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and we would love to get into our room and we know it's ready for a fact because the

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cleaning guys came up to us to find out what we were doing.

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And we're like, well, we're, you know, we need to get into our room if we can.

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Is it done?

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And they said, yes, it's clean.

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So I said, our pin number doesn't work.

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And she goes, well, they'll send you another pin number.

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I go, well, when?

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Oh, at four o'clock.

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I go, come on now.

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It's already, you know, it's already done.

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The room's already done.

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It's getting close to three o'clock.

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Can't you just give me a pin number now or have them send me one?

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Oh, it'll be sometime around four.

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And I said, why not?

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And she said, well, she goes, because that's the way it works.

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I go, no, no, no, no, no.

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I said, why don't you just say it like it is?

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You're not going to help me because you don't want to.

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No, no, no.

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They have a system of doing things.

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And I go, and there's also a way of doing things if you do something about it.

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And I said, you could have them give me a pin number because the room is obviously ready.

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And she goes, no, it'll arrive when it's supposed to.

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And I said, all right.

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I said, that's fine.

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We're going to sit out here and sweat.

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But every fucking minute I'm sweating, I'm writing a scathing review.

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I said, so have it your way.

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I said, everyone's going to know about your shitty business practices.

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And I didn't tell them I had a podcast.

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But in my opinion, Vakasa is a piece of shit company because I asked them repeatedly to

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go in early and they would not let me in the cabin early.

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They charged me a $79 cleaning fee.

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And they charged, and I know Lake Access where the place right across the road, Lake Lucerne

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Resort, they own the lake.

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This place over there that Vakasa is fucking responsible for taking care of, I don't know

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who actually owns it.

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But anyhow, they would have nothing to do with letting us in early.

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And they charged us almost double than what the other place did because we talked to the

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other lady because that was the directions that Google gave me, is went to the resort.

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And she already informed me all about them.

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She goes, yeah, you picked the wrong place.

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I said, well, I go.

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So above all else, no lake access, one bedroom at this place, this Vakasa sponsored place,

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Lake Lucerne Resort, three bedrooms, $100 cheaper and right on the lake like the other

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side of Lake Lucerne.

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And this is Lake Lucerne Resort is where you want to go with the better deals.

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And also they don't have these bullshit rules.

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They never did text me the code at 4pm.

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And it was actually 4.30 when I actually got it because I had to call them to get the new

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code because those fucks never did call me like they said.

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So if I would have never called them, I would have been sitting out in front of that place

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forever.

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And because of that, Vakasa and whoever owns these places, and I'm going to find out who

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owns them and I'm going to broadcast it on the podcast as soon as I find out.

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You guys suck and you guys should be out of business and fuck both of you.

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In my opinion, you're one of the worst companies around for any type of rental.

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So eat shit.

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You guys suck.

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I hope you fucks go out of business.

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I've been in Eureka Springs for 20 some fucking years and I said, you know what?

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And I said the first time, I didn't say fucking, but you know, I said this is the first time

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I ever heard of Lake Lucerne.

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So you know, I was looking around for cabins available.

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This is the first one I could find.

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And she goes, okay, I understand.

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And so anyhow, I could have canceled, but they were part of the cost that they charge

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you so much.

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They buy you insurance for you and it's going to take you three months to get your money

236
00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:30,860
back and anyhow, so next time I will not be booking across the lake.

237
00:13:30,860 --> 00:13:34,240
I will be booking with Lake Lucerne Resort.

238
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,480
They're the good people in my opinion.

239
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:42,080
And in my opinion, Vakasa and the people that own the other side of that lake are pieces

240
00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:44,600
of crap and do shitty business practices.

241
00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:52,120
And in my opinion, stay away from them from all costs allegedly and all that good shit.

242
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:54,960
But this is my opinion, the way I feel and I'm one.

243
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:59,960
I got my Crescent hotel gag, which I just thought of because we was at the Taylor Swift,

244
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:01,960
his digits.

245
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:08,080
Alan appeared to spot one main issue at Kelsey's plan to introduce himself to her.

246
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:11,800
Travis Kelsey tried to hang out with her and she said, no.

247
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:17,800
Do you have any advice for players who want to attract superstar talents?

248
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,520
Adams asked the quarterback.

249
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:22,800
Alan quipped, not friendship bracelets.

250
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:27,560
Poking fun at Kelsey trying to get a personalized bracelet to Swift with his number on it.

251
00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:31,520
I thought that was a clever answer because that's what Kelsey did.

252
00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:38,680
We reported this a few podcasts ago where he gave her a friendship bracelet with his

253
00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:39,680
number on it.

254
00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:44,840
Alan wanted to say he was stunned at her shutdown on Kelsey.

255
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:45,840
He's a fun, great guy.

256
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:50,120
He will probably have more chances at trying again, I'm sure.

257
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,760
Good luck to him is what Josh Allen said.

258
00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:54,320
And Josh Allen is a good guy.

259
00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:56,960
I mean, he really is.

260
00:14:56,960 --> 00:15:00,680
And him and the Holmes and Kelsey are all good friends.

261
00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:04,200
And you know, that's cool.

262
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:07,400
That's cool that they're all friends.

263
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:12,000
And you know, because it is just a game, even though sometimes we don't think it's just

264
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,000
a game.

265
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,000
It is just a game.

266
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,600
And I thought that's cool.

267
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:23,800
So a little bit later on, you know, you know, our Mr. X or Dr. X or whoever he is that,

268
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:25,800
you know, that uncovers all these.

269
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:26,800
Yeah, our spy.

270
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:32,280
Well, this time he was at the sex toy, what would you call it?

271
00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:33,280
Warehouse or whatever.

272
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,900
And they were trying new sex toys out.

273
00:15:35,900 --> 00:15:39,080
And he got us, you know, yeah, he sent me an email.

274
00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:43,600
He said, you know the drill, 10 minutes and this email is gone.

275
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:47,480
Download it, print it.

276
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,040
And because in 10 minutes this thing is gone.

277
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:52,240
I was lucky enough to catch this one.

278
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:58,720
So anyhow, I went over there, I hit print, printed it out and we have a list of sex toys

279
00:15:58,720 --> 00:15:59,720
that have failed.

280
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:04,800
So yes, it is a little bit later on.

281
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:07,800
We can go to the Asshole Hare Olympics if you want.

282
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,800
Yes, sounds good.

283
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:10,800
Okay.

284
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:14,720
But until then, I have a virtual influencer.

285
00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:16,960
You know what a virtual influencer is, Rob?

286
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,440
I'm pretty sure you do.

287
00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:20,000
Yeah, yeah.

288
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:24,760
Yeah, it's an AI generated influencer.

289
00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:31,920
So you know that jackass Jackson Mahomes, he's an influencer.

290
00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:34,960
For whatever reason, I don't know why.

291
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:41,280
So but anyhow, he, you know, he's an influencer.

292
00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:46,240
Well, this person is an influencer, only they are artificial intelligence.

293
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:54,160
So virtual influencer Mila Sofia is garnering the attention of men on social media posing

294
00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:58,760
in a tiny black bikini, gorgeous gowns and even golf attire.

295
00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:00,520
There's only one catch.

296
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,680
She's not real.

297
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:09,560
The Finland based influencer openly discusses that she is artificial intelligence.

298
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:15,560
However, that is not curved the millions of men and some women from being super fans of

299
00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:16,560
her.

300
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:19,640
Many of them express how they want to meet her in person.

301
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,680
I got, I got this for them.

302
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:24,000
Just wow.

303
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:27,960
But I will add this.

304
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:31,960
You know, in Japan, their main thing, one of their main things is they want to come

305
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:37,480
up with a an artificial intelligence sex robot.

306
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,440
They want that.

307
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:40,440
I've read that.

308
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:43,440
Yes, they are crazy about that idea.

309
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:47,160
So to me, this is kind of an extension of that.

310
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:49,080
And I know they're not all Japanese men.

311
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:51,640
There's men from everywhere.

312
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:57,520
But I think that there's a certain fascination of not of this world.

313
00:17:57,520 --> 00:17:59,960
You know what I mean?

314
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:00,960
Right.

315
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:01,960
Yeah.

316
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:07,480
And you know, as of right now, she is one of the top influencers in the world with millions

317
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:12,480
as a fan base and generating millions of dollars.

318
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:14,040
And she's not even real.

319
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:20,880
And mark my words, one of these days, some lawyer will get it to where you can't call

320
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:22,800
them not real.

321
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,920
You watch.

322
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,840
And they will have rights.

323
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:35,480
Because I mean, a lot of terminator or something like that, there will be something coming

324
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:38,240
up that there's going to be lawsuits.

325
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:39,720
And you'll see.

326
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:41,960
So I don't like predicting that.

327
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:45,880
But I'm certain of it.

328
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:54,240
And anyhow, you know, if I ever told you about, you know, Crescent Hotel is there in Eureka

329
00:18:54,240 --> 00:19:00,360
Springs and I had my you know, we had our little mini vacay there.

330
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:04,920
So we went to the Crescent a couple of times because it's just a cool hotel.

331
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:05,920
We go there and eat.

332
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:10,600
Often they have a pizza parlor up in the very top floor that you can overlook the mountains.

333
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:12,240
It's just beautiful.

334
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:13,240
And it's open air.

335
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:16,480
I mean, it has a rip over it, but it's open air.

336
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:21,960
So you know, you can you can actually like throw a piece of bread down or a piece of

337
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:29,120
pizza or something or whatever down onto the ground below if you want.

338
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:34,160
But it's open air and it's really cool.

339
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:40,300
And so and then they have really good places to eat downstairs, too.

340
00:19:40,300 --> 00:19:46,840
So we've been there a few times on this trip and I was sitting there and I was sitting

341
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:49,960
on the back big back porch that they have.

342
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:52,080
And I was looking at people over there.

343
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:56,320
The hot tub was nobody was in the hot tub because it was too hot is 100 plus degrees

344
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,520
there.

345
00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:01,640
And I remember about my little Crescent Hotel gag.

346
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:06,100
And I kind of wrote it down a little bit so I could explain this to the people.

347
00:20:06,100 --> 00:20:12,840
So anyhow, we had a room booked at the Basin Park Hotel August of 2021.

348
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:17,120
The hotel shut down for a week to deep clean and gear towards fall.

349
00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:20,240
They were not supposed to book during that time.

350
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:23,880
They booked me and Val by mistake as a good will gesture.

351
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:29,360
They gave us a premium balcony balcony room at their sister hotel, the Crescent, America's

352
00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:31,460
most haunted hotel.

353
00:20:31,460 --> 00:20:36,600
This was a premium balcony suite, one floor above the outdoor hot tub.

354
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:42,400
So I sit in the balcony in the midnight darkness when I hear people talking ghost stories in

355
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,280
the in the hot tub right below me.

356
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:45,280
Right.

357
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:48,080
All our lights are off and I'm just sitting there looking at the skies.

358
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,080
It's beautiful.

359
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:50,800
There's not much light out there.

360
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:54,240
As a matter of fact, I didn't know there was a hot tub below me until I heard people talking

361
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:55,240
ghost stories.

362
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,040
I looked down there and I'm like, Oh, what the hell is that?

363
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,120
I'm like, Oh shit, that's a hot tub.

364
00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:00,360
And there wasn't any really lights.

365
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,080
There's very dim lights down there.

366
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:04,000
And I think they wanted it like that.

367
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:07,520
So I thought, huh, this is kind of cool.

368
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:12,480
So I start quietly, but enough for them to barely hear.

369
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,640
I'm going, I'm Billy the ghost.

370
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:15,640
Woohoo.

371
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:21,360
And I did this several times and I tell one of them quietly talk about what they just

372
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:22,920
barely heard.

373
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:26,360
So I stopped for a few minutes until they forgot about it.

374
00:21:26,360 --> 00:21:28,280
And then I start with a chant again.

375
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:32,240
I eventually got bored and I went inside, but I'm sure they still comment about this

376
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:33,640
to this day.

377
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:34,640
I still school.

378
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:42,940
I still screw with the ghost tours because the, the, the ghost tours are, they start

379
00:21:42,940 --> 00:21:46,360
off at the basin park hotel, downtown Eureka Springs.

380
00:21:46,360 --> 00:21:50,800
The Crescent isn't on the top of the bluff on the other side.

381
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:56,120
And where we stay is right across from the basin park of the flat iron flat suites.

382
00:21:56,120 --> 00:21:59,480
So I'm out there on the balcony.

383
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:00,480
Okay.

384
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:04,480
And the ghost tours are out there and they started at the basin park hotel and they worked

385
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:05,480
their way.

386
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:10,040
It's a walking tour and they work their way up to the top of that hill, right?

387
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:14,480
Hill, not the top of the hill, but where the hill crests at and there's a lot of businesses

388
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:19,040
there and they start talking about events that happen there and even some underground

389
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:20,200
stuff that they have there.

390
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:23,560
Like they have a series of underground places and tunnels and stuff.

391
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:29,320
And it really is pretty interesting, but what I'll do is, oh, go ahead.

392
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:32,880
I was just going to say I've heard of that tour.

393
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:34,320
It's really, it's really cool.

394
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:35,840
You get a chance to do it.

395
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:39,160
So it sounds like something that would interest.

396
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:43,760
It's very interesting because they give a lot of history and it's all true.

397
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:48,360
So anyhow, when he's sitting there talking ghost stories, every now and then I'm sitting

398
00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:49,360
there on the balcony.

399
00:22:49,360 --> 00:22:54,480
They can see me and anyhow, I'll go, boo.

400
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:58,780
And anyhow, the ghost guide, the tour guide, he hates me.

401
00:22:58,780 --> 00:22:59,780
That guy hates me.

402
00:22:59,780 --> 00:23:03,960
He looks me in the eye with sheer rage every time I do it.

403
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:09,800
And I did it three times when I was up on the balcony this time and that guy wants to

404
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:10,800
kill me.

405
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:12,000
I did it last time.

406
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,280
I did it last year.

407
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:19,560
Every time I stay, every time I stay there, the time before a month ago or whatever, we

408
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,640
stayed at Hidden Springs.

409
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:27,720
So I didn't stay at the Flat Iron Suites, but I screw with this guy so bad and he looks

410
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:31,840
me in the eye with this look like he would just rip my head off if he ever caught me

411
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:32,840
in person.

412
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:37,680
Luckily, it's not caught me in person, but he'll be sitting there talking and then the

413
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:42,280
guy turned around and I go, boo.

414
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,880
He just glares at me.

415
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:45,880
Some people laugh.

416
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:47,680
Some people give me a look and disgust.

417
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:52,560
Some people don't care, but it's funnier than hell because you either get it or you don't.

418
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:53,560
You know what I mean?

419
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:59,080
It's just like a little ha ha and that's all, but I understand him.

420
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:04,000
He's trying to get tips and come up with an effect and scare people.

421
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:12,120
There I am making a mockery of it going, boo.

422
00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:13,120
I get it.

423
00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:16,840
I get why he's mad at me.

424
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,280
It's not going to stop me from doing it.

425
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:22,880
Anyhow, Rob, what have you got going on?

426
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:24,880
You got anything you want to say?

427
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:25,880
Yeah.

428
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:26,880
I got a new announcement.

429
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:32,600
By the way, the way you're doing your microphone here, this is much better.

430
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:33,600
Yeah.

431
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:34,600
Sounds great.

432
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:35,600
Good.

433
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:36,600
Go ahead.

434
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:41,600
Well, like I said, I was doubling up on my earpods hoping I'd have more mic.

435
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:46,520
I think it was too much mic, so I dropped back some more.

436
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:47,520
It sounds great.

437
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:48,520
We'll see how it goes.

438
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:56,000
There is a new event scheduled at Ozarks Ample Theater here in Campton.

439
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:57,000
Oh, really?

440
00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:03,400
The same amphitheater where 38 Special is going to be on October 3rd.

441
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:04,400
All right.

442
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:08,440
It's a taco and margarita festival.

443
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:12,000
When is it?

444
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:15,000
September 16th.

445
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,720
Taco and margarita festival.

446
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:20,720
What a great idea.

447
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:26,520
The taco and margarita festival is coming to the Ozarks Ample Theater in Campton.

448
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:34,440
Mary Kelly Van Bindel, director of operations for the amphitheater, says the festival will

449
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:37,440
feature more than just tacos and margaritas.

450
00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:40,440
You're going to love this part.

451
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:45,240
This is almost, almost as good as Testicle Festival.

452
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:49,320
Oh, I've got a million flyers for Testicle Festival.

453
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:51,400
They were all over Eureka Springs.

454
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:52,400
Okay.

455
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:54,520
It's much more than that.

456
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:59,000
We've got mud wrestling next door at our neighbor's parking lot.

457
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,000
Oh.

458
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:01,000
Professional wrestling.

459
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:05,000
And there's going to be a taco eating contest.

460
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:10,640
There's also going to be a battle of the bands contest.

461
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:14,240
It will run from 11 to 5 on Saturday, September 16th.

462
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:17,320
That sounds like a good day to me.

463
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:20,520
All I've got to say is too bad Donnie Baker passed away.

464
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:21,520
Yes.

465
00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:22,520
Yes.

466
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:23,520
Yeah.

467
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:29,280
He would have already had VIP tickets the day they announced it.

468
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:31,280
He would have already had them.

469
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:34,280
Yes, he would.

470
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:35,280
Yeah.

471
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:36,280
Wow.

472
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:37,280
My wrestling.

473
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:38,280
And professional wrestling.

474
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:39,280
Man.

475
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:42,080
I hear the angels sing whenever you say about that.

476
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:49,560
Will you say the whole thing again so I can hear angels and harps in my head?

477
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:58,880
A taco festival, mud wrestling, regular wrestling, a taco eating contest, and margaritas.

478
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:00,080
And a battle of the bands.

479
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:05,720
And a battle of the bands.

480
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,080
That's like 10 things on my bucket list at once.

481
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:09,080
Yes, it is.

482
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:10,080
Yeah.

483
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:12,680
That's why I think you would like to hear about that.

484
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:13,680
Yes, I do.

485
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:14,680
Wow.

486
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,400
I'm going to look that up online too.

487
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:17,400
That sounds great.

488
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:18,400
Yeah.

489
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:19,400
Wow.

490
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:20,400
That's cool.

491
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:21,400
Very, very cool.

492
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:22,400
Yeah.

493
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:25,400
That's right up my alley there.

494
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:26,400
Yeah.

495
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:27,400
Yeah.

496
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:28,400
All right.

497
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:29,400
Cool.

498
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:30,400
Got other things?

499
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:31,400
Yeah.

500
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:34,400
Got a jump out of the list here.

501
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:35,400
All righty.

502
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:37,200
Go forth, Rob.

503
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:38,200
This is your floor.

504
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:41,200
You can find it here.

505
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:44,200
There it is.

506
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:48,200
This kind of hits close to home.

507
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,200
Oh, good.

508
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:59,200
After almost half a century at Walmart, one woman is retiring, but she's not just an employee.

509
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:03,200
Jane Marshall is Walmart's first female manager.

510
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:06,200
Get back here.

511
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:13,200
Jane Marshall is Walmart's first female manager in the nation, and she's worked here in Missouri

512
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:14,200
her whole life.

513
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:15,200
I didn't know that.

514
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:16,200
Cool.

515
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:17,200
Yeah.

516
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:18,200
We salute you.

517
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:19,200
Yeah.

518
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:22,200
I'm going to just skip part of this here.

519
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:23,200
That's okay.

520
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:32,200
Marshall started her journey with the Superstore at the age of 23 in 1975.

521
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:33,200
Wow.

522
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:39,200
She was finishing school and needed to make money, so she joined the Walmart team working

523
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:40,200
in apparel.

524
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:46,200
Four years later, she was asked by the Walts, the store's owner, to be the manager of the

525
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:49,200
store in Wausau, Missouri.

526
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:56,200
She finally returned to be manager at the Clinton store in 1986 and never left.

527
00:28:56,200 --> 00:29:00,200
I've been to both of those stores, actually.

528
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:02,200
Yeah, me too.

529
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:03,200
Yeah.

530
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:07,200
Yeah, she finally retired after 48 years of service.

531
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:08,200
I salute her.

532
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:09,200
What is her name again?

533
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:10,200
Jane Marshall.

534
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:11,200
Jane Marshall.

535
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:12,200
Great job.

536
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:13,200
Yeah.

537
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:14,200
We salute you.

538
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:15,200
Fantastic.

539
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:16,200
Yes, we do.

540
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:17,200
All right.

541
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:31,200
You got anything else on the docket there, or do you want me to go into something, then

542
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:34,200
come back, or... How do you want to do this, Rob?

543
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,200
Oh, you got something?

544
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:37,200
Oh, yeah.

545
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:38,200
Yeah.

546
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:41,200
Well, like I said, Mr. X or Dr. X.

547
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:42,200
Yes.

548
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:47,200
Let's call him Jeffy X. Jeffy X.

549
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:48,200
I like that.

550
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:50,200
Yeah, Jeffy X. Yeah, Jeffy.

551
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,200
You can't go wrong with Jeffy.

552
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:58,200
You see a little blonde, curly-headed kid that grew up and looks exactly the same, and

553
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:03,200
he's like a nerd that works for this huge corporation, and he's going around spying

554
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:08,200
and grabbing stuff that he shouldn't for two dish bags and a microphone because he's such

555
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:10,200
a dedicated, good guy.

556
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:17,200
So, thank you, Jeffy X. What we have today is sex toys that failed.

557
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:22,200
So he sent me an email, like I said, and it said, grab this thing in 10 minutes, and then

558
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:23,200
poof, it's gone.

559
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:28,200
So, exactly eight and a half minutes into it, I printed it.

560
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:32,200
By the time I got done reading it over, I went back to look for the email, and it was

561
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:33,200
gone, like he said.

562
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:39,200
So, we're going to take a slight break, and we will be back right after this with famous

563
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:46,200
sex toys that failed, or not famous sex toys, should have been famous sex toys that they

564
00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:49,200
nixed before they even brought them out.

565
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:53,200
And now, Deep Thoughts with Mark.

566
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:58,200
Man, I sure wish I was the garbage man.

567
00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,200
You know what I could do if I was the garbage man?

568
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:06,200
I could go to the wrong parts of town on the wrong days periodically in the morning, and

569
00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:10,200
then watch everybody run out of their house in their underwear with two bags of trash

570
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:12,200
screaming, stop, halt.

571
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:16,200
Yeah, that's what I'd love to do.

572
00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:24,200
When taking a shower, remember to scrub your asshole with soapy water, because nobody likes

573
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:26,200
a stinky asshole.

574
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:31,200
Oh shit, what's that over there?

575
00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:35,200
Oh no, it's the island of horrible jokes.

576
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:36,200
Ugh.

577
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:45,200
What do you call a bundle of hay in church?

578
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:49,200
Christian Bale.

579
00:31:49,200 --> 00:32:01,200
Okay, two douchebags and microphone, I'm Mark.

580
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,200
And I'm Rob.

581
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:10,200
Alright, as promised, we are back, and we are back with Jeffy, was it Jeffy?

582
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:11,200
Jeffy.

583
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:14,200
Jeffy X's new list.

584
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:18,200
New list of, this time it's Sex Toys That Failed.

585
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:23,200
So, a lot of these, there's a couple of them I can see why, but most of them I'm like,

586
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:24,200
why?

587
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:30,200
So, anyhow, the first one he has on the list is Butt Plugs with Drano.

588
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:36,200
I mean, yeah, a little harsh.

589
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:38,200
I actually see why that one failed.

590
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:42,200
Yeah, you know, I think there's probably some guys that may be into that, and some females

591
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:49,200
that are into that, but I would say that mostly I can understand why it failed.

592
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:50,200
Yeah.

593
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:51,200
Yeah.

594
00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:55,200
Yeah, so, yeah, yeah, I get it.

595
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:59,200
I mean, can you imagine the panel that had to test run those?

596
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:01,200
Oh my God.

597
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:06,200
Yeah, boy, I mean, what did they give them, like a $50 gift certificate to Chipotle or

598
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:09,200
something, or, you know, and then they all have it.

599
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:13,200
Pay their ER bill.

600
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:16,200
It's probably in the fine writing when you go in there and sign up for those little focus

601
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:17,200
groups.

602
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:20,200
Yeah, yeah, yeah, normally you do have to do that.

603
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:21,200
You're on your own.

604
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:28,200
Yeah, yeah, so there's like some people missing an asshole, or their, or I don't know, whatever

605
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:31,200
the hell is all up there near there.

606
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:36,200
So, so, anyhow, yeah, Butt Plugs with Drano did not work.

607
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:37,200
They nixed it.

608
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:43,200
So, you will not be seeing those at a local Cirilla's or whatever.

609
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:49,200
I don't know what stores anyone has around them, but whatever, at your local kink shop.

610
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:50,200
So, next one.

611
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:53,200
I could see Gen Z trying that.

612
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,200
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I could see them too.

613
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:57,200
Yes, yeah.

614
00:33:57,200 --> 00:34:00,200
And then they're complaining because they can't shit right.

615
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:01,200
Right.

616
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:02,200
I don't get it.

617
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:06,200
My asshole's not been working right ever since I did that Butt Plug with Drano.

618
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:07,200
So odd.

619
00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:10,200
So, anyhow, next one.

620
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:16,200
This one, I guess it depends on your taste and your pain tolerance.

621
00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:18,200
Ghost Pepper condoms.

622
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:25,200
I mean, you know, some people like Ghost Pepper.

623
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:27,200
People order Ghost Pepper in their food, right?

624
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:29,200
And for some people like me, you're...

625
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:30,200
I can't.

626
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:34,200
There's not enough Nexium in the whole world.

627
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:36,200
So I would have had to say no on that.

628
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:40,200
Well, it's a condom, so I wouldn't be having it in my mouth in the first place.

629
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:46,200
So, but for the people that would have it in their mouth or other areas, you know,

630
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:51,200
but actually a Ghost Pepper, you know, Ghost Pepper, you can put that on your penis

631
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:54,200
and will probably burn like hell.

632
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:55,200
Yeah.

633
00:34:55,200 --> 00:35:02,200
So, you know, maybe they did make the right, you know, are you with me on that, Rob?

634
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:04,200
Do you think maybe they made the right choice?

635
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:07,200
I'll give them that one.

636
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:08,200
Okay.

637
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:09,200
I'll give them that one.

638
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:10,200
Okay.

639
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:11,200
All right.

640
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:12,200
Okay.

641
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:14,200
Whoever this is that makes these, I mean, you know, like Douche Flavors or Masingale.

642
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:21,200
I don't know who makes these, but whoever does these, I guess I see that.

643
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:28,200
This next one, again, it depends on your pain tolerance and who you're having sex with.

644
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:33,200
Barbed wire cock rings.

645
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:41,200
I mean, again, I mean, I guess I see their point.

646
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:44,200
You know, some would get pretty tore up with them.

647
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:48,200
But then again, some people probably like that, right?

648
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:51,200
Couldn't they put like a heavy warning on it?

649
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:55,200
Like, I'm sure there is a market for that.

650
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:56,200
Yeah.

651
00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:58,200
Do you think the liability is too much?

652
00:35:58,200 --> 00:35:59,200
Is that it?

653
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:03,200
They're like, look, someone's going to tear up their parts down there and then they're

654
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,200
going to come back and sue us because we sold it.

655
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:08,200
You think that's it?

656
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:13,200
I think they would be used in a secret room.

657
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:15,200
Yeah.

658
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:19,200
That's all I'm going to say.

659
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:20,200
Yeah.

660
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:21,200
Yeah.

661
00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:26,200
I think that a lot of different aspects of this probably scared the maker off.

662
00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:27,200
Yes.

663
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:28,200
Yeah.

664
00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:31,200
I just don't see the market being that big.

665
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:32,200
Yeah.

666
00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:33,200
Me neither.

667
00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:38,200
They could sell a few, but yeah.

668
00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:39,200
You know, that's it.

669
00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:44,200
You know, they probably did a focus panel, like 300 people, like three of them were like,

670
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:45,200
yeah.

671
00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:53,200
And then the other, you know, 297 or like 96 are like, no, no.

672
00:36:53,200 --> 00:37:00,200
The next one, sage flavored edible panties.

673
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:07,200
I mean, look, I like sage and meatloaf and other stuff, right?

674
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:08,200
Yeah.

675
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:09,200
I mean, I don't know.

676
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:13,200
You know, maybe some people like the taste of sage that well that they wanted on edible

677
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:14,200
panties.

678
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:17,200
You know, who are we to say, right?

679
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:18,200
Right.

680
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:19,200
Yeah.

681
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:22,200
But you think usually it's mixed with something else.

682
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:23,200
You think that's it.

683
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:26,200
You think like maybe they should have like, I don't know, made a little hamburger flavor

684
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:30,200
on there too and maybe a little ketchup flavor and went with meatloaf or something.

685
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:31,200
Little stompton.

686
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:32,200
Yeah.

687
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:36,200
So sage alone was just like too bad of an idea because it's, it's a sandalwood.

688
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:37,200
Little turkey flavoring.

689
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:38,200
Yeah.

690
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:39,200
Yeah.

691
00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:41,200
A little sage, turkey, peppered turkey like that.

692
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:42,200
Yeah.

693
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:43,200
Yeah.

694
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:44,200
So Rob, I think you're onto something.

695
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:45,200
You know what?

696
00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:46,200
Yeah.

697
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:50,200
If the maker of this bothers to listen to us here at Two Douchebags and Microphone, they

698
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:53,200
may have their next big hit.

699
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:55,200
We could share that one for them.

700
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:56,200
You know what?

701
00:37:56,200 --> 00:38:01,200
I'm going to send that back to Jeffy X. Okay?

702
00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:02,200
Okay.

703
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:08,200
And I'm going to say, hey, whoever came up with this, our suggestion is, is sage turkey

704
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:10,200
flavored edible panties.

705
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:11,200
Yeah.

706
00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:13,200
Yeah.

707
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:19,200
It's not like opening the spice bottle and dumping it in your mouth.

708
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:23,200
Rob, you are bringing tears to my eyes with this.

709
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:24,200
Yeah.

710
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:27,200
I, you are such a trooper coming up with that.

711
00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:33,200
Rob, I salute you as an American and a human being for coming up with that.

712
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:35,200
Well, thank you.

713
00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:36,200
You are welcome.

714
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:37,200
Amazing work.

715
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:39,200
Amazing work, my friend.

716
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:41,200
I, I, I got to get a Kleenex.

717
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:43,200
Hang on.

718
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:44,200
Okay.

719
00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:45,200
Tears are wiped away.

720
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:46,200
Next one.

721
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:49,200
Well, I don't agree with this one.

722
00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:52,200
This one hurts my feelings, Rob.

723
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:54,200
You know what it is?

724
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:55,200
What?

725
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:59,200
A DVD of the hairy asshole Olympics.

726
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:01,200
What the hell?

727
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:03,200
We're on your guys' side.

728
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:08,200
Why did you put us in there and deny us?

729
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:11,200
Rob, I don't know what to do.

730
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:14,200
I'm, I'm hurt.

731
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:16,200
We do this for you.

732
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:17,200
Wow.

733
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:19,200
We do this for you out there, Joe Listener.

734
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:20,200
We do this for you.

735
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:23,200
And this is the thanks we get.

736
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:28,200
We offer you our hand in love and friendship and you smack it away.

737
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:31,200
This is what you're doing.

738
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:33,200
How can you do that to us?

739
00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:34,200
Hang on.

740
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:36,200
Let me reach for the tissue now.

741
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:38,200
See what you guys did?

742
00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:39,200
Okay.

743
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:40,200
Now you made Rob cry.

744
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:45,200
I'm good.

745
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:47,200
On for a loss for words, Rob.

746
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:50,200
Rob, are you, are you okay?

747
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:51,200
Yeah, I'm fine.

748
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:52,200
I'm fine.

749
00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:53,200
Okay.

750
00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:54,200
All right.

751
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:58,200
Look, I'm getting teary too, but we're going to have to move on and just get past this.

752
00:39:58,200 --> 00:39:59,200
Yes.

753
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:00,200
Yes, we do.

754
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:02,200
You know what we're going to have to do?

755
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:06,200
We're going to have to do more Harry asshole Olympics just to spite them.

756
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:09,200
Oh, it's on.

757
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:10,200
It's on now.

758
00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:17,200
You bitches are never going to get a single episode without something, a mention or at

759
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:22,200
least one fight, one pit up against each other of the asshole Olympics for that.

760
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:24,200
The Harry asshole Olympics is on forever.

761
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:26,200
You guys did it.

762
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:27,200
Okay.

763
00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:29,200
We're going to finish this bottle.

764
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:30,200
Yes.

765
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:32,200
We are shaking, we are shaking our fists in the air.

766
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:35,200
I have been working on some other people to start another battle.

767
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:37,200
So it's on.

768
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:38,200
Okay.

769
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:39,200
It's on.

770
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:40,200
All right.

771
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:44,200
This, we're going on reluctantly and hurt.

772
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:49,200
I might add we're going on reluctantly and hurt, but we're carrying on for you folk,

773
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:53,200
even though we've been double crossed and betrayed.

774
00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:54,200
Next one.

775
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:57,200
Sticky fly trap fish nets.

776
00:40:57,200 --> 00:41:03,200
Well, I mean this, this again, that could be fun.

777
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:04,200
Yeah.

778
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:08,200
I mean, you know, I don't know.

779
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:09,200
Yeah.

780
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:10,200
Yeah.

781
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:17,200
You know, it's, you know, some people just don't know how to let loose, I guess.

782
00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:18,200
Right.

783
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:19,200
Is that it?

784
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:22,200
The prudes stuck in the muds, wet blankets.

785
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:23,200
Yeah.

786
00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:24,200
Yeah.

787
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:30,200
Well, once again, just like you hurt our feelings, you guys are wet blankets too.

788
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:33,200
I hope you guys are happy.

789
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:37,200
I hope you guys are happy.

790
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:39,200
But I move on.

791
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:41,200
This next one.

792
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:45,200
Double zippered speedo.

793
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:46,200
Okay.

794
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:48,200
I get that.

795
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:52,200
You know, one wrong move and you're toast.

796
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:53,200
Yeah.

797
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:54,200
Yeah.

798
00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:55,200
I'll do that.

799
00:41:55,200 --> 00:42:01,200
It might look cool on the outside, but you make one wrong move and, you know, yeah.

800
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:09,200
I don't care if it's a pubic hair to the actual scrotum to the actual extra penis skin.

801
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:13,200
Whatever gets in there, you're fucked.

802
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:21,200
On some of them you're really fucked and some of them you're kind of fucked and some of them you're highly uncomfortable until you can do something about it.

803
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:22,200
Right.

804
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:23,200
Fair enough?

805
00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:24,200
Right.

806
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:25,200
All right.

807
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:26,200
The next one.

808
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:31,200
I agree with this 100% and I don't know why it was ever presented to the American public.

809
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:36,200
And the fact that it was ever presented to the American public shows that there's people that hate you.

810
00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:43,200
Barbara Streisand, graphic novel of her favorite sexual positions.

811
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:45,200
Oh, come on.

812
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:52,200
Who would have ever introduced that in the first place?

813
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:53,200
Why?

814
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:55,200
This is all I got to say to you.

815
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:56,200
Why?

816
00:42:56,200 --> 00:43:02,200
Why would that ever happen in the America that we know, Rob?

817
00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:04,200
I don't have a clue.

818
00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:14,200
This, this once again, I'm getting teary-eyed thinking that someone would ever even suggest that idea.

819
00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:20,200
Okay, and the next one, I don't agree with it all because this might be part of the fetish for somebody.

820
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:23,200
Toe condoms for foot fetishes.

821
00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:26,200
What the hell's wrong with that?

822
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:29,200
Some people like to be real safe.

823
00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:31,200
I can see that.

824
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:32,200
Yeah.

825
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:33,200
I can see that.

826
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:39,200
Maybe they'll feel right having their toes sucked just, you know, without any protection.

827
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:43,200
In today's society there's a lot more jewelry though.

828
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:44,200
Yeah.

829
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:46,200
So why in the world...

830
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:49,200
I can see that being a good seller.

831
00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:50,200
I could too.

832
00:43:50,200 --> 00:44:00,200
Why would someone deny someone the satisfaction of knowing they were not going to get any diseases from getting their toes sucked or sucking toes?

833
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:01,200
Right.

834
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:05,200
Or let's say someone had a little bit of toe jam down there, you know, they couldn't really clean it that well.

835
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:10,200
Or maybe they were on their feet all day and they just didn't have time.

836
00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:11,200
Right.

837
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:22,200
So what? No problem. I have this toe condom here and I don't have to get the toe jam in my mouth, but I still have the pleasure of licking these fucking... these toes.

838
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:24,200
Yeah.

839
00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:25,200
Yeah.

840
00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:26,200
I like it.

841
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:27,200
Yeah.

842
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:32,200
I do too. I think it's a great idea and I think that it was shot down as really a blow to the American public.

843
00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:35,200
I'm not even by a few.

844
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:38,200
I would too and I'm not really into toes, but I would still...

845
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:40,200
I'm not either, but that might get me into it.

846
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:49,200
Yeah, you never know. It would be like, you know, I can like do this and be safe and feel comfortable.

847
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:54,200
I mean, some people just might get into it just because of that, like you said.

848
00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:55,200
Right.

849
00:44:55,200 --> 00:45:04,200
So, well, anyhow, it's no longer and that's the last of the list that was sent to me.

850
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:12,200
So if you were looking for toe condoms, I guess you're going to have to wait longer because as of right now, that's a no-go.

851
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:13,200
Damn.

852
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:15,200
Very unfortunate.

853
00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:20,200
So, anyhow, did you hear that...

854
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:22,200
Remember, the battle is on.

855
00:45:22,200 --> 00:45:29,200
Yes, it is. Should we just go into the hairy asshole Olympics then because we were shunned so bad?

856
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:32,200
After that, I think we should.

857
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:34,200
My God, let's do it.

858
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:35,200
I got it right here.

859
00:45:35,200 --> 00:45:36,200
You got it right there? All right.

860
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:42,200
Well, there you guys go. Here you go. You guys caused this. You guys caused this.

861
00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:49,200
Anyhow, Rob, that's my drum solo. It's not very good. I don't do very good air drum.

862
00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:58,200
I do a really good air guitar and I do fantastic air harp and cymbals, but the air drum, I'm just not good at.

863
00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:00,200
Yeah, I never was either.

864
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:04,200
It's a very hard instrument to accomplish. That's for sure.

865
00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:08,200
So, anyhow, this is my air drum, okay? So while you're coming up with this,

866
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:17,200
Oh, no, I'm not doing a solo. All I'm doing is introducing you.

867
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:20,200
Okay, you know what? Go ahead, Rob.

868
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:22,200
Okay, the first one.

869
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:23,200
Okay.

870
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:25,200
Who needs to judge, Colin?

871
00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:31,160
whoo one's dead and one is probably talking to him in his sleep at night

872
00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:34,640
um let's see

873
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:38,760
both old hairy men

874
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:43,120
what we did is we figured out a way to reincarnate George Carlin

875
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:46,480
so I'm going to say since we

876
00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:50,720
reanimated George Carlin I'm going to say

877
00:46:50,720 --> 00:46:54,000
the rule was we could use anybody

878
00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:57,720
I know I agree with it because there's a lot of dead people that like

879
00:46:57,720 --> 00:47:00,840
really fit the bill really well there is so you know

880
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:05,000
we're saluting them we're not making fun of them

881
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:08,920
we're not you know so I'm going to go with

882
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:13,040
and we love George Carlin he was fantastic

883
00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:16,360
and I'm sure he's fantastic in the afterlife too

884
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:20,120
very sarcastic same thing very profound

885
00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:23,200
so I'm going to go with since George Carlin

886
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:27,440
could not probably doesn't even worry about trimming his asshole hairs now

887
00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:31,680
um he's in the great beyond and I'm sure that they don't even give a shit about

888
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:32,560
stuff like that

889
00:47:32,560 --> 00:47:37,000
I'm going to go with George Carlin at a default

890
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:40,120
actually I think I have to go with George Carlin too

891
00:47:40,120 --> 00:47:43,800
alright with him being a comedian

892
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:47,880
always on the road when will he have time to take care of himself

893
00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:52,680
you know what you're right you're right alright George Carlin moves to round

894
00:47:52,680 --> 00:47:55,800
three or four I don't remember

895
00:47:55,800 --> 00:47:59,240
this is round four I think and if not I think so

896
00:47:59,240 --> 00:48:04,520
if not then we skipped around screw you alright round four George Carlin moves to round four

897
00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:11,520
alright next on the list

898
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:19,000
um let's see here who would be another good

899
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:23,320
here we go okay Maria Osment

900
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:27,360
Juliana Margolis

901
00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:31,240
I'm going to go with

902
00:48:31,240 --> 00:48:34,360
do you know have you ever figured out who

903
00:48:34,360 --> 00:48:38,800
I don't think you knew who Juliana Margolis was right

904
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:42,960
you never figured out who she was? I'm just going with you on that one

905
00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:46,760
I should look her up I'm going to go with Margolis

906
00:48:46,760 --> 00:48:50,960
she's got really thick dark hair

907
00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:54,040
and I know Maria Osment does too but she just looks

908
00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:58,120
the way you're describing her

909
00:48:58,120 --> 00:49:04,480
I'll give it to her okay alright Juliana Margolis congratulations you move on to round four

910
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:09,040
Harry asshole Olympics great job alright

911
00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:14,040
next on it

912
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:17,040
here we go

913
00:49:17,040 --> 00:49:20,040
okay Billy Gibbons

914
00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:25,360
Alice Cooper

915
00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:29,160
okay here's my thought you can argue with me if you want okay

916
00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:33,400
Billy Gibbons has that large beard he's not afraid to have hair

917
00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:37,640
right so I think that he lets his asshole

918
00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:42,640
hair grow like his beard his facial hair so I'm going to go with Billy Gibbons

919
00:49:42,640 --> 00:49:46,240
got my vote

920
00:49:46,240 --> 00:49:49,480
Billy Gibbons congratulations

921
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:53,280
you're going to round four of the Harry asshole Olympics good job

922
00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:56,040
sorry Alice Cooper

923
00:49:56,040 --> 00:50:00,240
Alice we love you you do great music and we'll see you later on in the year

924
00:50:00,240 --> 00:50:04,240
alright next on the list

925
00:50:04,240 --> 00:50:08,040
Aaron Rodgers

926
00:50:08,040 --> 00:50:11,280
Terry Bradshaw

927
00:50:11,280 --> 00:50:15,720
oh

928
00:50:15,720 --> 00:50:18,680
okay let's talk this out Rob

929
00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:25,120
Aaron Rodgers is kind of surly so I think he would be very prone to growing his ass hairs out

930
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:28,560
but he's got the hippie thing going don't forget that

931
00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:31,640
yeah and the hippie thing

932
00:50:31,640 --> 00:50:38,640
he loves hallucinogenics but Terry Bradshaw is kind of old and disheveled

933
00:50:38,640 --> 00:50:40,960
and don't look like he

934
00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:44,800
I don't think he trims anything and I don't think he's trimmed anything for 30 years

935
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:48,360
he's a crusty old cowboy

936
00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:53,240
so okay here's what I'm gonna do right here and you tell me whether you want to

937
00:50:53,240 --> 00:50:54,240
do it like this or not

938
00:50:54,240 --> 00:50:58,280
I want to go for a toss up and move them both

939
00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:03,360
onto the fourth round

940
00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:06,520
yeah yeah that's a good battle

941
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:10,320
that's a good battle

942
00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:15,760
congratulations you moved around for to the hairy asshole Olympics good job

943
00:51:15,760 --> 00:51:20,280
okay

944
00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:26,680
next on the docket

945
00:51:26,680 --> 00:51:30,160
Jim Kardashian and McDonough

946
00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:34,080
oh

947
00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:37,480
as much as I would love to move Kardashian

948
00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:42,120
because I just don't like her personally

949
00:51:42,120 --> 00:51:46,880
I think she's full of shit she got famous because of a sex tape

950
00:51:46,880 --> 00:51:50,200
although she tries to act like she worked her ass off

951
00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:54,440
for it but all she did was a fucking

952
00:51:54,440 --> 00:51:59,720
swallow down a dick so I am gonna go

953
00:51:59,720 --> 00:52:03,920
with Madonna because she is illustrated that she doesn't

954
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:07,520
in the past that she does not

955
00:52:07,520 --> 00:52:11,600
do anything with the underarm hair and I think that if you don't do anything with

956
00:52:11,600 --> 00:52:13,800
your underarm hair which is just basics

957
00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:17,400
you don't do anything with your snatch or asshole hair

958
00:52:17,400 --> 00:52:20,840
so I'm going and plus she's 60 something

959
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:26,160
in Italian so I'm thinking that she's not only got asshole hair

960
00:52:26,160 --> 00:52:29,560
that like goes out of her underpants

961
00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:33,120
but I think she might even do something creative like braid them or have them in

962
00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:35,240
fucking cornrows or

963
00:52:35,240 --> 00:52:40,480
or dreads or something I think it is a fucking jungle down there around her

964
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:47,480
asshole

965
00:52:47,720 --> 00:52:50,040
Rob? I agree, I agree

966
00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:53,760
all right

967
00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:57,920
good job Madonna good job you move on

968
00:52:57,920 --> 00:53:01,480
to the fourth round of the hairy asshole Olympics

969
00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:05,400
yeah

970
00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:10,200
all right next on the docket Rob

971
00:53:10,200 --> 00:53:13,440
Nancy Pelosi

972
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:17,000
yes and John Gruden

973
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:20,000
you see

974
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:23,840
John Gruden is so fucking snippy

975
00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:28,720
and so kind of crusty

976
00:53:28,720 --> 00:53:32,840
and snotty but Nancy Pelosi is just such an

977
00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:35,920
old fucking bag

978
00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:39,480
as much as it pains for me to go this way but does it pain me

979
00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:44,040
Nancy Pelosi

980
00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:49,040
I gotta give it to Nancy too, I do

981
00:53:49,040 --> 00:53:53,720
Nancy Pelosi congratulations you moved on to the fourth round of the hairy

982
00:53:53,720 --> 00:53:54,360
asshole

983
00:53:54,360 --> 00:53:58,200
Olympics good job all right next

984
00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:02,960
on the docket Rob

985
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:06,880
okay next we had one that

986
00:54:06,880 --> 00:54:10,720
had a bi-week

987
00:54:10,720 --> 00:54:14,360
oh who was that? Pee-Lee Herman

988
00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:18,720
yes because of his recent passing

989
00:54:18,720 --> 00:54:23,320
do you want to reanimate him and bring him back into it?

990
00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:27,800
I can't wait, he's open market

991
00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:31,880
okay all right he's back in buddy

992
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:35,000
all right Pee-Lee you're back in

993
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:38,480
all right so yeah Pee-Lee Herman

994
00:54:38,480 --> 00:54:42,240
okay Mark Zuckerberg

995
00:54:42,240 --> 00:54:45,280
oh okay

996
00:54:45,280 --> 00:54:49,480
I still contend Mark Zuckerberg

997
00:54:49,480 --> 00:54:52,600
has got crazy ginger asshole hair

998
00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:57,200
just all everywhere and he loves it

999
00:54:57,200 --> 00:55:00,320
and it's like all over the place and he thinks it's great

1000
00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:03,400
because it is Mark Zuckerberg ass hair

1001
00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:08,240
okay but Paul Rubens

1002
00:55:08,240 --> 00:55:13,040
had long hair and a beard and was scruffy looking so I don't think he

1003
00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:17,000
took care of his asshole hair either but

1004
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:21,760
I'm going with Zuckerberg because I just think that he has got

1005
00:55:21,760 --> 00:55:26,480
some crazy ass fucking red fucking redwood fucking jungle

1006
00:55:26,480 --> 00:55:32,480
growing out of his asshole

1007
00:55:32,480 --> 00:55:36,000
rest in peace Pee-Lee

1008
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:39,000
you are now dismissed from the hairy asshole Olympics

1009
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:43,280
you are free to go back to the beyond and

1010
00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:47,480
we wish you well and thank you for all the fun you gave us in our life

1011
00:55:47,480 --> 00:55:53,080
so Zuckerberg congratulations you have made it to the fourth round

1012
00:55:53,080 --> 00:55:58,200
of the hairy asshole Olympics good job

1013
00:55:58,200 --> 00:56:02,320
alright next on the docket Rob

1014
00:56:02,320 --> 00:56:05,320
Steven Tyler

1015
00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:10,920
and Michelle Obama

1016
00:56:10,920 --> 00:56:16,560
hmm

1017
00:56:16,560 --> 00:56:20,000
ah wow you got any thoughts

1018
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:23,840
this is like dead even I think Michelle is just

1019
00:56:23,840 --> 00:56:27,480
crazy ass hairy okay I do okay

1020
00:56:27,480 --> 00:56:31,880
she I know Steven is too

1021
00:56:31,880 --> 00:56:34,440
I just think Michelle has her hair more

1022
00:56:34,440 --> 00:56:37,520
I think Michelle has hers in braids

1023
00:56:37,520 --> 00:56:41,720
okay there we go Michelle Obama

1024
00:56:41,720 --> 00:56:44,840
great job you have made it to the fourth round

1025
00:56:44,840 --> 00:56:47,760
of the hairy asshole Olympics good job

1026
00:56:47,760 --> 00:56:51,400
alright

1027
00:56:51,400 --> 00:56:55,200
next up

1028
00:56:55,200 --> 00:56:59,280
next up we have Robert De Niro

1029
00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:02,360
this is

1030
00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:06,080
George Stephanopoulos wow

1031
00:57:06,080 --> 00:57:11,920
hmm

1032
00:57:11,920 --> 00:57:16,400
was this a draw last time

1033
00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:20,960
no I don't think it was

1034
00:57:20,960 --> 00:57:24,360
okay I'm gonna go with De Niro

1035
00:57:24,360 --> 00:57:28,920
I just think that he has a little more asshole hair

1036
00:57:28,920 --> 00:57:32,280
for whatever reason actually I

1037
00:57:32,280 --> 00:57:36,040
I think I have to agree because George

1038
00:57:36,040 --> 00:57:40,880
has to stay somewhat trend yeah cause he's all over TV

1039
00:57:40,880 --> 00:57:44,280
yes or De Niro every time you see a picture of him

1040
00:57:44,280 --> 00:57:47,760
yeah he's

1041
00:57:47,760 --> 00:57:51,400
he's whatever okay we very reluctantly

1042
00:57:51,400 --> 00:57:56,440
give him the nod by a narrow margin congratulations Mr. De Niro you have made

1043
00:57:56,440 --> 00:57:57,800
it to the fourth round

1044
00:57:57,800 --> 00:58:00,680
of the hairy asshole Olympics great job

1045
00:58:00,680 --> 00:58:03,960
alright

1046
00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:10,960
next on the docket please Rob

1047
00:58:10,960 --> 00:58:15,440
okay we have

1048
00:58:15,440 --> 00:58:18,720
Hugh Jackman

1049
00:58:18,720 --> 00:58:22,200
the Dough Castro

1050
00:58:22,200 --> 00:58:29,200
I'm gonna go with Castro because of his crazy beard

1051
00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:36,480
he just looks like he'd be hairy around the asshole

1052
00:58:36,480 --> 00:58:40,040
I hate to say it

1053
00:58:40,040 --> 00:58:43,720
I think I gotta agree with you alright

1054
00:58:43,720 --> 00:58:48,000
so far we're still I think some of you are

1055
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:51,240
my last toasting is knocked out

1056
00:58:51,240 --> 00:58:56,360
alright congratulations Fidel Castro reanimated

1057
00:58:56,360 --> 00:58:59,600
you are going to the fourth round of

1058
00:58:59,600 --> 00:59:04,600
the hairy asshole Olympics

1059
00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:09,680
next on the docket please Dave Mustaine

1060
00:59:09,680 --> 00:59:13,360
okay Nicholas Cage

1061
00:59:13,360 --> 00:59:18,160
oh

1062
00:59:18,160 --> 00:59:21,120
okay I'm gonna go with Mustaine

1063
00:59:21,120 --> 00:59:24,840
because I think he has those crazy ass red ginger hairs

1064
00:59:24,840 --> 00:59:28,360
he's like actually kinda hairy for kinda ginger right

1065
00:59:28,360 --> 00:59:33,800
and he has a beard a lot of the times he has long hair

1066
00:59:33,800 --> 00:59:38,720
I think that he doesn't give a shit about his hairy asshole

1067
00:59:38,720 --> 00:59:42,720
and I think that he makes groupies do stuff with it

1068
00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:49,720
like sniff it and lick it

1069
00:59:49,720 --> 00:59:52,960
he's a rocker man yeah you gotta give it to him

1070
00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:56,920
alright Dave Mustaine congratulations

1071
00:59:56,920 --> 01:00:00,200
you have made it to the fourth round of the hairy

1072
01:00:00,200 --> 01:00:06,480
asshole Olympics next on the docket please

1073
01:00:06,480 --> 01:00:11,040
okay we're down to one person

1074
01:00:11,040 --> 01:00:14,600
unmatched okay

1075
01:00:14,600 --> 01:00:18,000
I've got an idea to draw here's my thought

1076
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:24,280
here's my thought okay

1077
01:00:24,280 --> 01:00:28,600
I say we move this person on just because of who it is

1078
01:00:28,600 --> 01:00:32,880
okay who is it Taylor Swift

1079
01:00:32,880 --> 01:00:36,240
yeah okay yes as a matter of fact

1080
01:00:36,240 --> 01:00:41,360
let's go ahead and put her on yeah and let's put her in the hairy asshole hall of fame right now

1081
01:00:41,360 --> 01:00:46,480
whether she wins or not she's marked

1082
01:00:46,480 --> 01:00:49,560
okay there you go great job Taylor Swift

1083
01:00:49,560 --> 01:00:54,000
T Swift you move on to the fourth round and you're also in the hall of fame

1084
01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:57,040
great job so look I mean

1085
01:00:57,040 --> 01:01:00,320
she can't do anything without coming up with an accomplishment right

1086
01:01:00,320 --> 01:01:05,600
I love it I do too I love Taylor Swift in this role

1087
01:01:05,600 --> 01:01:08,960
I do too Taylor you're a true trooper

1088
01:01:08,960 --> 01:01:12,960
great job alright so that being said

1089
01:01:12,960 --> 01:01:17,360
alright and we'll be right back in a minute

1090
01:01:17,360 --> 01:01:21,440
to douchebagsandmicrophone.net your one stop for

1091
01:01:21,440 --> 01:01:25,080
douchebaggery you wanna write us

1092
01:01:25,080 --> 01:01:29,680
you wanna say something to us you wanna look for a live button when we go live

1093
01:01:29,680 --> 01:01:30,720
you can call in

1094
01:01:30,720 --> 01:01:33,960
all of this stuff is right there for your ear holes and

1095
01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:37,560
eye holes you got it chumps it's all yours

1096
01:01:37,560 --> 01:01:40,640
two douchebagsandmicrophone.net is up and running

1097
01:01:40,640 --> 01:01:44,640
don't forget to hit the subscribe button

1098
01:01:44,640 --> 01:01:58,640
don't forget to hit the subscribe button

1099
01:01:58,640 --> 01:02:01,520
hey where do they go where are the douchebags

1100
01:02:01,520 --> 01:02:05,520
hmm oh my god someone took a dump in the corner

1101
01:02:05,520 --> 01:02:09,120
oh geez glad they're gone

1102
01:02:09,120 --> 01:02:12,120
let's just hope they don't come back

1103
01:02:12,120 --> 01:02:19,120
man that smells