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Live from the historic River Market District in downtown Kansas City, Missouri,

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from the banks of the beautiful Crystal Blue waters of the Missouri River,

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it is Two Douchebags and Microphone Podcast.

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Two douchebags and a microphone.

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No one invited them, but they still linger.

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Two douchebags and a microphone. Pasteurized for your protection.

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All aware of the Amber Alert, right?

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This fantastic early warning device helps one stay dry and rid of all those annoying mattress invoices.

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Simply hook up to Child Under Six or Psychopath and wait for the running water sound.

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Order today and get a free Cinnabon Renuze It Cartridge.

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Alright, Two Douchebags and Microphone. I'm Mark.

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And I'm Rob.

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Welcome. Alright, here we go, another podcast.

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So today on today's episode, or unless we cut it in half,

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we have my top acoustical list. Rob did his last week.

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And new colognes and perfume that didn't make it. And this is from a different Mr. X.

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We can also go into some more asshole hair Olympics if we want to.

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Let's see, I've got a bunch of other little odds and ends stories here that I find pertinent.

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A Brazilian woman that fell in love with a guy that's mugged her.

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Let's see, I've got a Gen Zuma one that would you rather questions for them that they asked them.

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And that they have a definite answer and opinion on that I found pretty interesting.

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The new BK Burby cheeseburger meal.

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And Black Sabbath faces Giesel Butler with a story that I like.

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Anyhow, Rob, what do you have?

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Wow, I've got little kid bits here and there.

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Okay, well I'd like to start off with the Giesel Butler story if you don't mind.

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That's alright.

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Alright, well the notorious tour that took back even before the Black and Blue concert with Blue Rochers called Black Sabbath was

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the Van Halen and Black Sabbath. Black Sabbath was the headliner and the most known band.

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Van Halen just released their new album and was all about it.

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And many reports, multiple reports say that Van Halen blew them off stage.

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And other people are like, no it was pretty even. Black Sabbath brought it too.

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I know this, there was definitely, Van Halen was an emerging band.

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And Black Sabbath was in a very odd period at that time.

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So I can see Van Halen with all their energy with David Lee Roth and Eddie Van Halen with his brilliant guitar.

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And that heartbeat bass from Michael Anthony and Alex doing what he does.

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I can definitely see them challenging them if not maybe surpassing them at that time.

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And I'm not saying they were a better band live or anything like that.

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I'm saying at that time, you know, because they were going through this different period.

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There was like disco going on and all this other distractions going on.

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Van Halen coming out going, this is what we are and they're in your face.

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So this is from Bill Wood in his book, which I am still reading and I'm still pissed off because I can never get to it.

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But tomorrow morning, I plan on going to the city market by myself and reading the rest of the fucking book.

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So I'll have a full report.

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Yeah, I'm going to delve into that bitch and I'm going to just breeze right past it because I keep trying to read it at night and I keep falling asleep.

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So anyhow, yeah, it sucks.

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So anyhow, Black Sabbath Bassist, oh, and not to mention losing your spot.

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I wake up like, oh fuck, I didn't put anything in there.

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Look at it, man. Now it's all mangled all over the bed and I don't know where I left it.

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Anyhow, OK, Black Sabbath Bassist, Geezer Butler looked back on the band's 1978 tour with Van Halen.

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It reflected on how Van Halen really stole the show.

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The tour saw this young band Van Halen opening for an established name, Black Sabbath.

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It was an odd time for Sabbath.

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They have plenty of legal issues and they were trying to change musical directions with technical ecstasy, which one of the.

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That was one of the lesser albums. And I mean, a lot of people didn't say Never Say Die, but I like Never Say Die.

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I thought there were some good tunes on that technical ecstasy.

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Yeah, it was a great album, really. It was just a different direction.

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Never Say Die was actually even though the title of the song was Never Say Die, it's a happy sounding song.

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It was heavy. Ozzy sounded great in it.

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I mean, it was good, but the music scene was rapidly changing.

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When Geezer was asked the question, was Van Halen better and actually getting more applause than Sabbath?

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Geezer replied, We held our own.

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The crowd was Sabbath fans, but like all of us, we're surprised at how good Van Halen was.

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We were fans of Van Halen and used to party with him every night.

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At first, Tony was pissed off that Eddie was doing these longer, longer guitar solos.

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But I remember correctly, Eddie, when he first came out, he wasn't playing those long solos.

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That was due to people going nutso over his guitar and screaming, you know, more and more.

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And he had to deliver more because people were just going insane because there was this new style with the finger tapping and all this shit that people didn't know that much about.

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You know, and all the wizardry he did with the electronics and his franken guitar and all that stuff.

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You know, people are just going ballistic over this shit.

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And, you know, he really kind of did it out of necessity.

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And therefore, their sets were getting longer, which definitely pisses off the main act because they, you know, they're kind of like, hey, wait a minute now.

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You're going over an hour, you're starting to get into our time and that's bullshit.

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So, but I mean, Eddie Van Halen, Tony Iommi were fantastic, best friends after the tour.

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So it didn't hurt too bad. So, you know, they kind of got through it.

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So at first, Tony was pissed off that Eddie was doing these longer, longer guitar solos.

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Ozzy was peed. The DLR was out there. David Lee Roth was out there going out using all of Ozzy's things.

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I kind of take exception to that.

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David Lee Roth was doing Jim Dandy things. Jim Dandy from Black Oak, Arkansas, things, not Ozzy things.

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They can say Ozzy things all they want, but Jim Dandy was doing fucking David Lee Roth stuff before David Lee Roth knew he was even David Lee Roth.

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So, and I think maybe even Ozzy may have even borrowed some stuff from him. I don't know.

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You know, Ozzy had his own gimmick and no one could touch it because he did that where he's like, you know, got his hands between his knees springing up like a frog, you know, and clapping and doing the peace sign and stuff, you know.

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And he had his own gimmick going on and he was fantastic at it. The madman, he'd get a bizarre look on his face, start tearing his clothes off and screaming and come on, you know, what the fuck?

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Jim Dandy was like more of the showman. He was kind of like the fucking rugged ballerina guy, you know, fucking prancing on stage and stuff.

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And that's what David Lee Roth was. So, you know, they may have think he did, but I don't necessarily agree with that.

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I think it really, I think it really started getting us down at the end. Some people love Sabbath. Some people love Van Halen.

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But the record company was promoting the new Phenom Van Halen and both bands were on the same record company's payroll.

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So you can see how that goes. Old band, new band, both on Warner Brothers. Old band starting to kind of fray a little bit.

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Their last album wasn't that great, didn't sell that great, didn't do that great, but still they're a great draw.

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And here comes the up and comers just blazing the world. Of course, the record company is going to start hugging them and kind of dissing Sabbath.

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That's just the way it goes, you know. They're going to say, hey, there's more money on the upside in Van Halen than there is in Sabbath, is what they were thinking.

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And they might have been right at the time. So anyhow.

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In my opinion, I love Sabbath. I like Van Halen.

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Depends on what era Van Halen you're talking about to me. The first four, five, the first five, all the way up to 1984.

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I thought was some of the best music ever written. I mean, especially the first up to women. I don't know. Fair warning.

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OK, the first two Van Halen albums were some of the best ever. Fucking just blazing.

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No, I totally agree with you. I'm talking the same era, up to about 1984.

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Yeah, 1984, Eddie started getting into synthesizers and it was still great music, but it wasn't quite the same to me.

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There was a couple of good ones.

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Yeah, there was. But yeah, you know, I mean.

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Not like we knew them.

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I agree.

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OK, I think it was just a great show. Two of Went and Seen is what Geezer said.

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This tour would mark the last time Ozzy the original band would be intact.

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When Ronnie James Dio came in, it kind of re-energized us. We were all stuck in the muck and was going nowhere.

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Ronnie came in with new enthusiasm and really kicked us all in the ass.

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Heaven and Hell, now there was an album in between there and it was Never Say Die, but they never did tour for that.

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I mean, they were already pretty much broke up by the time that album came out.

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So it was not a tour for that, but there was a tour for Technical Ecstasy.

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So Never Say Die was kind of like Koda for Led Zeppelin. Only no one died, you know.

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Koda came out after Bonham already died and they're already pretty much dismissed the band. They're like, now we're not going to do it without him.

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And also they had so many problems with substance abuse and each other. It ran its course, basically.

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So Led Zeppelin was already like when Koda came out, they're already broke up and it's just shit they found on the floor.

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Now, Never Say Die, most that album was written prior.

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But they were having all these, you know, it wasn't shit they found on the floor.

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Some of it might have been. There might have been a couple of songs they found on the floor.

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But the rest of it was stuff that they actually wrote for the album.

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But then soon after the album, I mean, I think right before it came out, they pretty much broke up.

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And then right after Never Say Die, they got with Ronnie and then, you know.

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So Ronnie came in with new enthusiasm. It really kicked us all in the ass.

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Heaven and Hell was the direction for the band. The album Mature was a smashing success.

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We were all very lucky. Ozzy and Sabbath, too, all have done so well after the bitter breakup.

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And, you know, Geezer also played with Ozzy's solo band in 1988 and 89.

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And he also came back a couple of times and played with Ozzy a few more times.

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So Geezer would know he played for Sabbath and Ozzy's solo.

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So, you know, Geezer, you know, Geezer's right, man. They both actually fared really well after the breakup.

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Because everybody thought, number one, Ozzy was going to be found dead in a ditch.

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Number two, Sabbath couldn't replace Ozzy. Well, they didn't try to replace him.

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What they did was they went a completely different direction and it was a success.

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That doesn't always happen, but because it was Ronnie James Dio and it was a guy with so much power and musical aptitude

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that it was a brilliant success because of that.

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It was like the perfect marriage after a marriage that broke up.

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And anyhow, and it probably couldn't have been anyone else except Ronnie James Dio.

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And Ozzy, you can look no further than Sharon because she resurrected his career.

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Because and he'll tell you this, if it wasn't for her, he would probably be dead.

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If not, he would probably be dead or something almost as bad.

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So, yeah, so anyhow, like that, like that a lot.

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So while we're on the music, you want to hear my top acoustical list?

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Let's do it. I've been dying to hear this.

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All right. Now, I took the original list and I tore it up because I was pissed.

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I'm like, you know what? I'm going to concentrate and I'm going to do better.

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And I am going to find some of the best songs ever.

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And they are going to be on this. And I think I found them.

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So, OK, this this is all in order.

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And there's quite a few of them, so I'm just not even going to count them down.

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So let's OK, let's see one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven.

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There's eleven of them. That'd be sturdy.

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OK, yes, I look, it was thirty and I kept narrowing it down.

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And like I said, I ripped the original list up because I knew I could dig down deep and do better.

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And I think I did. Oh, man. Oh, man. I'm telling you, it was hard.

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Isn't it? Isn't it? There's so many songs that I'm not even sure if I have them in right order.

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So anyhow, OK, number eleven, looking out my back door, CCR.

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That is. Yeah, that's that's just a bunch of strumming and really, really great.

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Just great lyrics and it just pop singing.

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Just, you know, nothing too crazy, just really good stuff.

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Over now, Alice in Chains. Oh, that low.

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Yeah, it is. That's this is the only song that I kept from my original list.

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Really? Yes. And it's way down there because this is how much better I think I did.

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All right. Wish you were here. Pink Floyd.

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Oh, see, I didn't even think of that one.

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It took me forever. You know what I did?

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I went to the 1970s acoustical playlists of radio stations, the Billboard top, whatever's.

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And I started scrolling down the songs and the ones I were really thinking were that good.

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I really listened to and I was like, no, no. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

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No, no, no. It took a while, but I did it one night and it was fantastic.

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I had a blast doing it to some of these songs. I'm like, oh, my God, I never even realized there's banjo in or whatever.

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Yeah, it was just fantastic.

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I mean, the 70s is awesome, isn't it? Yeah. Yep.

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Next one, Hurt by Johnny Cash, not Nine Inch Nails.

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The Nine Inch Nails version is not acoustical. The Johnny Cash version is acoustical. Yes.

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Now, I mean, rarely do you have a song that someone covered better.

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This is one of them. Johnny Cash covered this song better than Nine Inch Nails when they first wrote it.

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They're both great songs, but Johnny Cash did it with so much passion and feeling.

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It could never be duplicated.

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And I'm sure if you asked Trent Reznor. Yeah, it was his final song. Yeah, it was his final album.

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Yeah. If you asked Trent Reznor, I'm sure he would be like, yeah, you had Johnny Cash fucking own that song, you know, and I wrote it.

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Yeah, it was good. It was good, but then when Johnny came along, he made it great or whatever.

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So next one, Wonderwall by Oasis.

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Wow. Yeah.

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Dude, you were totally going the other direction. I thought you would.

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Today is going to be the day that they give it up back to you.

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That's a good song. It's acoustic. Yeah, it's a good song.

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I mean, I realized the acoustic. Yeah, it's acoustic. Almost all acoustic.

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My mind was going elsewhere. Okay. Now, Wonderwall and Johnny Cash could be in reverse order.

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I think now in the mood I'm in right now, I put Johnny Cash ahead of Wonderwall by just a little bit.

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But let's just leave it like this. That's what I wrote down. So Johnny Cash, then Wonderwall.

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Next one, Stairway to Heaven, Led Zeppelin. And I did not have that on the original one.

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Right. I re-listened to it and I'm like, I have to. I have to.

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No matter how many times that song's been played, does not make it not great.

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There is just certain points of the acoustic in that to just...

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Yeah. You know what I mean? And it's parts you don't want me to pick up.

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But if you do an assignment like this, you're really listening to that one part.

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And you're like, oh man, I never caught that before.

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To me, the acoustic, how fast it comes after...

198
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:48,000
And now as we all wind down the road, our shadow is taller than our soul.

199
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:51,000
There's a lady we all know. You know when it gets really fast?

200
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:56,000
That's still acoustic in the background. That is still acoustic in the background.

201
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,000
Yes.

202
00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:00,000
Man, I'll tell you what. Listen to that with headphones on.

203
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:08,000
And your mind is just stretching every way because of the stereophonic and the acoustic in the back,

204
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:14,000
the lead in the front, Robert Plant's voice in the back, and then the front,

205
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:24,000
the panning of the drums and the bass. It's like beautiful noise put together brilliantly.

206
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,000
Everything gets blended together now.

207
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:33,000
Man, it's just... If there's ever art in this world, this is art.

208
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,000
Yeah.

209
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:41,000
Yeah, so... Anyway, the next one. Night Moves, Bob Seger.

210
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,000
Wow.

211
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:48,000
Woke last night to the sound of thunder. How far off, I said.

212
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,000
Wow, dude.

213
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:52,000
Started humming a song from 1962.

214
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:56,000
You are blowing my mind, I hear.

215
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,000
Yeah, I know.

216
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,000
Funny how the map works.

217
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:05,000
You're going to the answers I normally would have came up with.

218
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,000
When you don't seem to have as much to lose.

219
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:10,000
But I'm going to show you the different music now.

220
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:18,000
Mm-hmm. And then when he starts the acoustic back, and at first he's kind of like twangy,

221
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:21,000
and he kind of knocks the guitar a little bit, it's just...

222
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,000
Yeah.

223
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:31,000
And he left it in there for a reason, and it gave you this night feeling, like you're midnight in the back of a car.

224
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,000
Yeah.

225
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:42,000
With a very sweet young lady, and you're watching the stars. I mean, brilliant, brilliant.

226
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:48,000
And I'm not a huge Bob Seger fan. This was brilliant. It was his finest moment.

227
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,000
I am.

228
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,000
By a thousand.

229
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,000
I'm a big Bob.

230
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:54,000
Okay. Well, anyhow, this next one.

231
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:58,000
Tears in Heaven, Eric Clapton.

232
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,000
Ah.

233
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:04,000
Ha-ha-ha. Got you on that one, didn't I?

234
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,000
That is a lost gem.

235
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:11,000
You know, Tears in Heaven was written about a son that fell out the window and passed away.

236
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,000
Yes, I knew that.

237
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:17,000
That song has so much emotion in it.

238
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,000
You don't have to see his face.

239
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,000
Yeah.

240
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:25,000
You know exactly what his face looks like, and you know there's tears running down it.

241
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:30,000
Some of the lyrics, like, you know, if I were to see you in heaven, would you know my face?

242
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:38,000
I mean, that stuff right there is sheer agony, pain, and sadness put to art.

243
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:41,000
It's just brilliant. It's just bravo.

244
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:46,000
It's something that not everybody can do.

245
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:51,000
You either have this extreme God-given talent, or you don't.

246
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:57,000
And Eric Clapton, with his body of work, anyhow, but you incorporate a little bit of pain.

247
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,000
Oh my God.

248
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:03,000
Oh, yeah. He's a wonderful guitarist.

249
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:12,000
Yeah, the other one that comes close to it that Eric Clapton does, but I decided between one of these two songs, was

250
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,000
You Look Wonderful Tonight.

251
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:21,000
He is singing that. He is singing that to George Harrison's wife.

252
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:25,000
He was madly in love with her, and ended up with her, I believe.

253
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:31,000
I got a read up on that story. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty crazy shit.

254
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:39,000
So anyhow, but the way he reads it, he was in love with this woman, just like, batty.

255
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:49,000
I mean, anyhow, Eric Clapton, I mean, there's no doubt, like, he does emotions so well.

256
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:54,000
Yeah, yeah. He's a master. He's one of the greatest.

257
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:59,000
Next one is a song I told you about, and hopefully you studied up on it.

258
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:04,000
People Get Ready. Rod Stewart and Jeff Beck.

259
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:09,000
It's Jeff Beck's brilliant guitar, but Rod Stewart sings it so masterfully.

260
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:12,000
It is a gospel song.

261
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:23,000
Rod Stewart put out a gospel album in the, I believe it was the late 80s, and Jeff Beck's guitar accentuated this whole thing.

262
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:29,000
And People Get Ready is just a masterful song.

263
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:41,000
And then this was number one, until I heard this next song on the radio, and said, I'm sorry, I gotta slip the other one in front of the one.

264
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:48,000
This one was my number one. Win Crys Merry, by Jimi Hendrix.

265
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,000
Oh.

266
00:23:50,000 --> 00:24:00,000
Give me that championship belt, Rob. You know, you know, bring it over here. Bring it here.

267
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:03,000
You did this show on purpose.

268
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:11,000
No, I didn't. No, no, no, no, no. Well, I guess I did. I ripped up my old list and demanded better.

269
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:16,000
Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. I just said, he got me going and all his students.

270
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,000
You know what?

271
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:24,000
I'm gonna give you three weeks to come up with your new list.

272
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,000
Okay. Three weeks.

273
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:30,000
Okay. How long do you need?

274
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:33,000
Well, I thought, I thought next weekend.

275
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:35,000
Okay. Next weekend.

276
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,000
I thought that was the agreement.

277
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:38,000
Okay.

278
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,000
That was heavy, right? Heavy.

279
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:44,000
Oh, okay. I thought you wanted to do another acoustical list because you're.

280
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,000
No, no, no, no, no.

281
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,000
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Next week, come up with heavy.

282
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:58,000
All right. Next one and number one, just by just a slim margin is Let It Be by The Beatles.

283
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,000
Wow.

284
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,000
Yeah.

285
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,000
Wow.

286
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:10,000
That song. That song is one of the best songs ever.

287
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:15,000
Wow.

288
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:19,000
And you definitely went to a different direction. I thought you were going.

289
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:29,000
Well, I knew there was, I just like the last list I was not happy with and I tore it up without even memorizing it.

290
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,000
I'm like, that's just not gonna do.

291
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:42,000
And like I said, I did a little research and I went back and I looked at Billboard Hot 200, I think it's Hot 200, throughout all of the 70s.

292
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:49,000
And there's like some songs on there like Bridge Over Trouble Water and The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel.

293
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:53,000
And there's all these songs that could have been on this list.

294
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:59,000
But when it came down to it, when I listened to it, how did it make me feel?

295
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:02,000
Did I actually get what they're saying?

296
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:07,000
You know, like Tears in Heaven or When Christ Marry.

297
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:12,000
When Christ Marry is a very painful song, very painful song.

298
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:16,000
And it's argued about what it's talking about. Some people say it's talking about drug abuse.

299
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,000
Some people say it's talking about a woman.

300
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:28,000
But either way, it's a very sad and very cry for help song.

301
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:29,000
Yeah.

302
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,000
Yeah, it's beautiful.

303
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:40,000
Oh, and I forgot to say, that was also a toss up between Little Wing by Jimi Hendrix.

304
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:43,000
When Christ Marry and Little Wing.

305
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:49,000
But I chose When Christ Marry just because of the emotion and feeling that was in it.

306
00:26:49,000 --> 00:27:00,000
I thought was a little bit more intense, a little bit more vivid, a little bit more powerful than Little Wing.

307
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:04,000
So, anyhow, that is it.

308
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:10,000
That's how I kind of come up with my number one outside.

309
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,000
My stain.

310
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,000
Yeah.

311
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:16,000
If you watch that YouTube version.

312
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:17,000
Uh huh.

313
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:19,000
I did, by the way.

314
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,000
It's like the radio version.

315
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:25,000
It's, he puts so much emotion into it.

316
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:28,000
No, no, I watched it. I know which one you're talking about.

317
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,000
I've actually seen it before after you said it.

318
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:31,000
I got thinking about it.

319
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,000
I go, I know which one you're talking about.

320
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:38,000
And yeah, and it actually became a huge hit again because of that version.

321
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:41,000
Yeah, yeah, I mean it was just awesome.

322
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:42,000
Yeah.

323
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,000
He put so much emotion into it.

324
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:51,000
Yeah, it was very, very emotional.

325
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:56,000
Let's see, what else would you call this song?

326
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,000
Reaching Out.

327
00:27:58,000 --> 00:27:59,000
Yeah.

328
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:00,000
Um.

329
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,000
Yeah.

330
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:08,000
Um, not quite despair, but a please, you know, I'm reaching out type of thing.

331
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,000
It was very good.

332
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:18,000
So, um, here switching completely directions here in a couple of minutes after the break

333
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:22,000
where you're going to hear some new ha ha's and this and that and others and I don't know,

334
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,000
maybe a goat yodeling or something.

335
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:24,000
Who knows what I'll stick in there.

336
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:29,000
But anyhow, new clones and perfume that didn't make it.

337
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:31,000
Mr. X is not done yet.

338
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:36,000
Mr. X sent this to me and he sent me a text saying, hey, check your email.

339
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:39,000
It's only going to be there for 10 minutes and then it's gone.

340
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:47,000
So Mr. X, uh, broke into, uh, Faberge, I don't know whoever the fuck this perfume nowadays.

341
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:52,000
And he got these new perfume scents that did not work and he sent them to me.

342
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:56,000
So I think we owe Mr. X a gift card, don't we?

343
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:57,000
Yeah, we do.

344
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:58,000
We do.

345
00:28:58,000 --> 00:28:59,000
We're two.

346
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:00,000
What do you think?

347
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:01,000
Probably not Bed Bath and Beyond.

348
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:02,000
Um.

349
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:03,000
Yeah.

350
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:04,000
No, no, they're closed.

351
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,000
Yeah, yeah.

352
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:06,000
Probably not them.

353
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:07,000
Um.

354
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:08,000
Applebees?

355
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:10,000
No, no, no, they're closing too.

356
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:11,000
Chilis?

357
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:12,000
You like chilis?

358
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,000
Chilis.

359
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:14,000
You think Mr. X likes chilis?

360
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:15,000
I don't know.

361
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:16,000
How about Texas Roadhouse?

362
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:17,000
Okay.

363
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:26,680
He can go get him a fucking Tomahawk steak and, and, and none of that, but like Mr. X

364
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:31,000
on his way out, he can load up with those biscuits with those rolls.

365
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:37,360
So, yeah, so like he can like get like 10 rolls with his half a steak and his couple

366
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:41,600
of, uh, his couple of fries that he didn't eat yet.

367
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:45,400
And the next day he'll have a whole nother meal with the 10 rolls, the, uh, the half

368
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:51,080
a steak and the, uh, and the four, um, steak fries.

369
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:53,400
But he'll eat all his salad, I'm pretty sure.

370
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:55,400
He's a healthy eater, Mr. X.

371
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:56,400
So, anyhow.

372
00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:57,400
All right.

373
00:29:57,400 --> 00:30:02,040
Now we're going to take us a break and then we'll be back with, uh, these new, uh, perfumes

374
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:04,040
and colognes that didn't work.

375
00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:08,040
A brand new future.

376
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:12,160
Strange insights from an alien.

377
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:21,400
Hopefully you always step in a wet spot after putting on fresh socks.

378
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:26,040
This is a voice guide from your favorite podcast, Two Douchebags in a Microphone.

379
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:29,960
People often ask us how they can find us when doing a remote broadcast.

380
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:30,960
One, smell.

381
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:34,440
Go to the city market and start sniffing.

382
00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:38,920
Our aroma has been described as a mixture of flea powder for goats, Tabasco sauce, and

383
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:42,240
old sock with dark fuzzy urine.

384
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:45,880
Two, look for the spot absent of patrons.

385
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:50,800
Three, the most telling sign is a crowd of patrons vomiting uncontrollably.

386
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:57,840
Four, just call us at 816-512-7717.

387
00:30:57,840 --> 00:30:59,800
Two Shirley temples and a bottle of scotch.

388
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:00,800
We'll be right back.

389
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:01,800
Hey look, I think we found land.

390
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:02,800
Oh my God, I think we're safe.

391
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:03,800
Oh no!

392
00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:10,800
It's the island of horrible jokes.

393
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:11,800
Why?

394
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:14,800
Can't it know?

395
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:17,800
It talkens as long.

396
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:23,800
Because then it would be a foot.

397
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:29,800
If a 10 pound bag of shit could talk, this is what it would sound like.

398
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:31,800
Alright, welcome back everybody.

399
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:33,800
I'm Mark.

400
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:36,800
And I'm Bob.

401
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:37,800
Alrighty.

402
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:44,800
Well, as promised, like we said a little bit ago, Mr. X sent me a text and I looked down

403
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:45,800
and I was like, oh it's Mr. X.

404
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:48,800
And I thought it was going to be new douche flavors or something.

405
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:50,800
But no, he went crazy this time.

406
00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:57,800
And he somehow got into Faberge and he found all these new clones that they test marketed

407
00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:59,800
that didn't work.

408
00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:08,800
And you know, it was his typical, get to your email and print it out in 10 minutes or less.

409
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:11,800
Because in 10 minutes, this email disappears.

410
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:18,800
So I just barely got to my printer, hit print, and it printed it and then bam, the email

411
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:19,800
disappeared.

412
00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:21,800
So Mr. X, thank you.

413
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:24,800
Your Texas wrote out gift card will be on the way tomorrow.

414
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,800
So hey, how much should we give him?

415
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:31,800
You think we should like give him dinner for two?

416
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:33,800
At least one meal.

417
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:35,800
I'm saying dinner for two.

418
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:37,800
I don't know that much about him.

419
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:40,800
He might have a wife or a girlfriend or something.

420
00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:42,800
Yeah, dinner for two.

421
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:44,800
And an appetizer.

422
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:46,800
What, like 50?

423
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:48,800
I'm going to go 70.

424
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:54,800
Because if he has a little one, maybe get a child's meal for like four bucks with it too.

425
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:56,800
Yeah, there you go.

426
00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:57,800
The tips on him.

427
00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:01,800
Sorry, Mr. X. Tips on you.

428
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:03,800
So, all right.

429
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:05,800
New clones and perfumes that didn't make it.

430
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:07,800
Thank you, Mr. X.

431
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:12,800
First off, burnt ass.

432
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:15,800
I can't believe I didn't make it.

433
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:16,800
Really?

434
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:20,800
Yeah, burnt ass was not a good perfume smell.

435
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:25,800
I guess they test marketed it and everyone was like, we don't like this burnt ass stuff.

436
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:27,800
So, I don't know.

437
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:29,800
It sounds reasonable to me.

438
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:30,800
You?

439
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:35,800
Well, you and I have this strange obsession with ass.

440
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:37,800
I know we do.

441
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:41,800
Speaking of that real quick, and we'll get back to this in a minute.

442
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:44,800
Do you get any more ass photos?

443
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:48,800
No new ass photos.

444
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:53,800
Yeah, we're still chatting, but that's about it.

445
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:57,800
What about, who's the other one, Eric or?

446
00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:00,800
Yeah, Eric out in the ocean side.

447
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:03,800
So, one more Eric, just that one and done?

448
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:07,800
Actually, he seems to be a pretty cool guy talking to him.

449
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:08,800
Oh, that's cool.

450
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:09,800
All right.

451
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:10,800
Yeah.

452
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:11,800
Does he like the show?

453
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,800
They just did it because of the show, man.

454
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:16,800
They just did it because of the show.

455
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:19,800
That's fucking awesome.

456
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:22,800
All right, well, tell them thanks for listening and keep listening.

457
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:23,800
And you know what?

458
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:24,800
Oh, yeah.

459
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:29,800
When we get better capabilities, he can call in.

460
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:30,800
Yeah, yeah.

461
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:32,800
So, Eric, hang in there.

462
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:37,800
We'll figure this shit show out somehow and get you on here.

463
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:40,800
If you want to be on, some people rather listen.

464
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:47,800
So, anyhow, the next one, stew meat.

465
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:49,800
I think that sounds like a great clone.

466
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:52,800
Who don't want to smell like stew meat?

467
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:53,800
That sounds good to me.

468
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:55,800
Sounds great to me.

469
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:57,800
Yeah, fuck yeah.

470
00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:59,800
You walk around, smell like stew meat.

471
00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:04,800
I mean, you might get a little hungry, but I mean, you know.

472
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:09,800
Maybe grab a bag, if you put that on, grab a bag of, I don't know, cashews or something.

473
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:13,800
Every time you start getting a little hungry, grab a couple of cashews and munch them down.

474
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:19,800
But I mean, other than that, I think stew meat would be very attractive, especially to the opposite sex, right?

475
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:23,800
Because that's why people want to smell good and want to be, you know.

476
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:26,800
So, yeah, what woman doesn't like stew meat?

477
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:27,800
Yeah.

478
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:28,800
That's how you get out here.

479
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:29,800
Oh, hell yeah.

480
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:31,800
Those cornbread chicks down there would go nuts over that.

481
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,800
They're like, who the hell smells like stew meat?

482
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:35,800
Wee!

483
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:36,800
You come here, big boy.

484
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:38,800
I'm ready for your stew meat.

485
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:39,800
A lot of fun girls down here.

486
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:40,800
Oh, yeah.

487
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:41,800
I'm ready for your stew meat.

488
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:43,800
I got to tell you this.

489
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:44,800
I got to tell you this.

490
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:46,800
I just thought about it the other day.

491
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:52,800
In Lampe, Missouri, or no, Noll, Missouri, not Lampe, Noll, Missouri,

492
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:57,800
is where not only I saw the guy eating out of the dumpster, and that was relatively new to me,

493
00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:03,800
and I was just sitting there floored, but me and my former friend Mac, who's just,

494
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:07,800
I don't even want to get into him, but anyhow, he's got a lot of issues.

495
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:13,800
We used to go to Grand Lake in the Cherokees and then cross over the border when it was like 110 down there,

496
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:18,800
and if you jumped in the Grand Lake, it felt like hot bath water,

497
00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:24,800
so we would go down to the Elk River in Noll, Missouri, and that was 50 degrees,

498
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:31,800
and we'd grab our PBR six-pack and tie it to us and just stand in the river, and it was fun.

499
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:37,800
Well, Mac goes to me, he goes, man, he goes, look at that fucking hot ass chick,

500
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:42,800
and she's wearing a red bikini, and she was just smoking, and I'm like, fuck.

501
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:48,800
I mean, she was like an Ellie May or something, you know, and I mean, she was obviously a southern chick, you know,

502
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:52,800
and she's up there on this bridge with this dude, and the dude was a little ways away from her,

503
00:36:52,800 --> 00:37:00,800
and she's just sitting there, and then all of a sudden, Mac goes, dude, she's making fart noises with her tits,

504
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:04,800
and I'm like, ha, ha, ha, and then all of a sudden, I hear a...

505
00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:11,800
and I look up, and she has this straw between her tits, and she has this really kind of string bikini on,

506
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:17,800
and she was making fart noises with her tits with a straw,

507
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:21,800
and anyhow, I'm like, oh my God, this is the best thing ever,

508
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:25,800
and I couldn't get a picture because I couldn't have my phone with me, it was in the car,

509
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:31,800
because, and actually, I don't think the phones were... back, you know what, then the phones weren't that good anyhow,

510
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:36,800
so I probably wouldn't even think about taking a picture with my phone, because we weren't quite there yet.

511
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:40,800
I had a cell phone, but it was more like the other ones, the Nokia's or something,

512
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:48,800
and that's another thing, too, speaking of the old Nokia phones, some of the first smart phones that had the very smart screen,

513
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:53,800
I had a request from... I believe I went to school with this guy, I think so,

514
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:59,800
but he wants to hear the guy who used to work with Minivan story,

515
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:03,800
how I used to connect to his Bluetooth and drive him nuts with polka music.

516
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:10,800
Yeah, he wants to hear that story again, and I can't seem to find it, I'm not sure what episode it's in,

517
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:14,800
and I looked through them and I can't find it, so I'm just going to have to retell it again.

518
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:17,800
Maybe I'll do it at the end of this podcast, I'll retell it.

519
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:24,800
So, anyhow, if I get to that, great, if not, then we'll do it soon.

520
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:28,800
I really should probably write it down and remember everything, but anyhow.

521
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:33,800
The next one is Pus.

522
00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:38,800
I can see why people don't like Pus as a clone.

523
00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:42,800
Yeah, I kind of get it.

524
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:46,800
You ever smell Pus?

525
00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:51,800
Not that good, not that good a smell, believe it or not, not that good a smell.

526
00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:55,800
Next one, Infected Toe Nail.

527
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:58,800
They didn't like that smell?

528
00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:03,800
These people are hard to please, Rob, hard to please.

529
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,800
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

530
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:10,800
This next one I love, and I don't know how anyone could not love it.

531
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:13,800
If you love the Fourth of July, you'll love this.

532
00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:16,800
Gunpowder.

533
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:19,800
Gunpowder's a great cologne.

534
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:21,800
Yeah, what a great cologne.

535
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:23,800
Little dab between each ear.

536
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:25,800
They turned it down.

537
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:28,800
No, bring that out.

538
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:32,800
They're a bunch of communists over there, geez.

539
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:35,800
Yeah, little gunpowder back behind your ears.

540
00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:37,800
Oh, hell yeah.

541
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:39,800
Yeah, yeah, I could not believe it.

542
00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:41,800
I'm like, what?

543
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,800
You know, Pus, okay, I get it.

544
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:47,800
Infected Toe Nail, I guess I get it.

545
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:50,800
That must be a bunch of yuppies.

546
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:52,800
I guess, gunpowder, eww.

547
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:54,800
Gunpowder's bad.

548
00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:55,800
That hurts people.

549
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:57,800
Eww.

550
00:39:57,800 --> 00:39:59,800
So, anyhow, gunpowder was out.

551
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:00,800
They threw it out.

552
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:03,800
Did some test marketing on it, and they said no.

553
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:09,800
So, anyhow, the next one, and this one gets me because who doesn't love it?

554
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:13,800
Well, actually, I don't like it, but anyhow, liverlingons.

555
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:15,800
Oh, hell no.

556
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:18,800
No, no, you're not a liver fan either?

557
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:20,800
No.

558
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:25,800
There is not many things in this world that I will not eat.

559
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:29,800
But, beef liver is one of them.

560
00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:30,800
I like chicken livers.

561
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:31,800
Chicken livers are-

562
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:33,800
I'll lose it every time.

563
00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:34,800
I agree with you.

564
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:35,800
I like chicken livers.

565
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:36,800
I love chicken livers.

566
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:37,800
If they're fried right-

567
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:39,800
I like chicken livers.

568
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:42,800
I might choke down, but beef liver, no.

569
00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:43,800
Oh, I agree.

570
00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:44,800
It's got a horrible taste.

571
00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:45,800
Beef's smell like cooking.

572
00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:46,800
I can't be an ass.

573
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:47,800
Oh, no, same here.

574
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:48,800
Same here.

575
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:50,800
So, we're on the same page.

576
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:52,800
My dad loved that shit.

577
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:55,800
I know a lot of people love liver and onions.

578
00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:57,800
Me, I've never been a fan.

579
00:40:57,800 --> 00:40:58,800
No.

580
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,800
It sounds like hell to me.

581
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:07,800
I remember my mom used to cook it because it's supposed to be so good for you.

582
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:11,800
Then they find out that it's loaded with toxins because that's what a liver does.

583
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:13,800
It takes the toxins out of your body.

584
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:17,800
So, it used to be like, eat liver, it's high in iron.

585
00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:19,800
Then it's like, oh shit, don't eat liver.

586
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:24,800
All the toxins that that animal ever had in its life is in there.

587
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:26,800
So, anyhow.

588
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:27,800
The next-

589
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:35,800
Yeah, some of my best showdowns with my dad at dinnertime was over liver.

590
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:38,800
You should doubt and eat your liver, boy.

591
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:39,800
Fuck no.

592
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:41,800
You're going to sit there and eat all that.

593
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:43,800
No, I ain't.

594
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:45,800
You're going to kiss the whitest part of my ass, old man.

595
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:46,800
What?

596
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:50,800
You think you can catch me eating all that?

597
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:51,800
You do that, boy, every time.

598
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:52,800
Yep.

599
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:53,800
You're going to get me.

600
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:54,800
You're going to get me.

601
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:58,800
You're going to get me.

602
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:03,800
I'll ride underneath this table and I'll smack you right in the fucking Johnson.

603
00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:04,800
You hear me, boy?

604
00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:08,800
I'll fucking Johnson punch you and I'll be out that door in one hot second, bitch.

605
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:11,800
And you ain't chasing me.

606
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:14,800
I'll be on top of you pissing on your head, old man.

607
00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:16,800
You hear what I'm saying there?

608
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:17,800
Hell no.

609
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:18,800
I didn't do that.

610
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:20,800
I had to come home sometime.

611
00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:22,800
I'd be asleep and all of a sudden-

612
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:29,800
Oh my God, boy, you just described my childhood.

613
00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:32,800
I'll Johnson punch you, you old bastard.

614
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:34,800
Hey, little one.

615
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:36,800
We weren't that bad, but it was a lot of fun.

616
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:38,800
Nah, I'm joking around.

617
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:46,800
I'll crack your nadsicle wide open, bitch.

618
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:47,800
Shit.

619
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:48,800
Oh, yeah, yeah, we're doing clones.

620
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:49,800
Sorry.

621
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:54,800
There's big showdowns of liver and onions in my house, too.

622
00:42:54,800 --> 00:43:00,800
And then at first my mom didn't have the decency to onion them up at first.

623
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:04,800
And then she discovered onions and it's like, that's better, but still no.

624
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:09,800
It's like, just give me the fried onions on the side there, put them in a plate.

625
00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:10,800
That's good enough for me.

626
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:12,800
I'll just eat the onions tonight.

627
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:13,800
It's great.

628
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:14,800
Love it.

629
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:16,800
That just ruined the onions for me.

630
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:20,800
Well, I mean, if it had to have been, I had to eat part of it, yeah.

631
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:24,800
But no, what I used to do is I'd call my dog over there, right?

632
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:29,800
And then as soon as mom would get up to take a plate to the fucking sink,

633
00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:34,800
I'd have it cut into like four individual pieces, big enough for the dog to grab and run off.

634
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:39,800
So I'd give it to the dog and the dog would automatically run off to keep it away from the other dogs.

635
00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:41,800
So I'd like, here.

636
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:44,800
And then I'd sit there and act like I'm chewing on it some more.

637
00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:48,800
But instead I'd be eating the onions off of that bitch and nothing else.

638
00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:50,800
And yeah, yeah, yeah.

639
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:52,800
Yeah, yeah, it's not that bad, I guess.

640
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:54,800
Ah, yeah, yeah, it's okay.

641
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:56,800
It's like, come on, man, fucking, come on, Prince, hurry up.

642
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:58,800
Eat that son of a bitch.

643
00:43:58,800 --> 00:43:59,800
Come on, man, get back here.

644
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:01,800
Hey, get back over there.

645
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:04,800
Mom and fucking Trump.

646
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:06,800
Go, go, go, go, go, go.

647
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:08,800
Yeah, yeah, this liver's good, man.

648
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:09,800
Pretty good.

649
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:10,800
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

650
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:11,800
Thanks.

651
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:12,800
No, no, no.

652
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:13,800
We don't need it two times this week.

653
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:14,800
No, no, no.

654
00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:17,800
Liver once every three months is fine.

655
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:20,800
Or eight months, hopefully, or forever.

656
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:23,800
So anyhow, it worked.

657
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:25,800
So the next one.

658
00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:28,800
Mealworms.

659
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:33,800
Mealworms, I don't know, I guess they have a smell.

660
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:35,800
I don't know.

661
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:40,800
Well, all right, well, the panel said no.

662
00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:47,800
So you're not going to have mealworm by Yaron.

663
00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:50,800
Yaron mealworm.

664
00:44:50,800 --> 00:44:56,800
The next one, I guess I get.

665
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:58,800
Roadkill.

666
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:04,800
Roadkill by Menon.

667
00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:07,800
Yeah, that did not do too well.

668
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:10,800
So the panel shut down.

669
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:12,800
Which is the left bar you're going to.

670
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:13,800
That's true.

671
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:14,800
That's true.

672
00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:18,800
It's like the barn that's on the Arkansas-Missouri state line.

673
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:20,800
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

674
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:22,800
I've got it here, you're right there.

675
00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:23,800
Okay, okay.

676
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:29,800
There's this barn that they play music in, and it's like a biker barn.

677
00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:38,800
And it is on 62 maybe, or what's the other road going out there?

678
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:40,800
No, it's not 62.

679
00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:43,800
It's the other road that goes into Eureka Springs.

680
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:44,800
Oh shit.

681
00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:47,800
Well anyhow, it's right at the Arkansas-Missouri state line.

682
00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:51,800
Right when you get into Arkansas, it's this old barn, and it says beer and all this stuff.

683
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:54,800
And Fridays and Saturday nights, driven past it.

684
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:57,800
It's nobody but a bunch of bikers out in the middle of nowhere.

685
00:45:57,800 --> 00:46:01,800
They go to this barn and listen to music and drink.

686
00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:03,800
It doesn't have a name.

687
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:08,800
It just has a big sign that says beer with an arrow.

688
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:11,800
And then it said live bands back there near the barn.

689
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:15,800
Are you sure that's not a biker game?

690
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:16,800
Oh, maybe it is.

691
00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:18,800
Never thought about that.

692
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:20,800
Alright.

693
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:21,800
That's how they get you.

694
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:22,800
You're like, here?

695
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:24,800
Okay, I'll go there.

696
00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:25,800
And then they got you.

697
00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:26,800
Hey!

698
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:27,800
Look what we got here.

699
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:28,800
Woo-wee!

700
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:29,800
Oh, yeah.

701
00:46:29,800 --> 00:46:32,800
Look at the booty hole on that one.

702
00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:33,800
It'll do.

703
00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:34,800
It'll do.

704
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:39,800
The next one that did not make it.

705
00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:40,800
Acetone.

706
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:45,800
I don't know why, but acetone smells so good, right?

707
00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:47,800
I know you work with it.

708
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:49,800
I kind of like it.

709
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:53,800
Yeah, I've paid in houses for a few years.

710
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:57,800
It'll make you nice and light-headed, happy, bigly.

711
00:46:57,800 --> 00:46:58,800
Yeah.

712
00:46:58,800 --> 00:46:59,800
Yeah.

713
00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:00,800
Falking around.

714
00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:01,800
The wind.

715
00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:02,800
Yeah.

716
00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:07,800
That helped my day every day.

717
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:08,800
Hell yeah.

718
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:09,800
Acetone.

719
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:10,800
Nothing wrong with it.

720
00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:11,800
I don't know why they didn't do it.

721
00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:12,800
Next one.

722
00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:13,800
Start peeling down.

723
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:14,800
Squirt on some more.

724
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:15,800
Yeah.

725
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:16,800
Yeah.

726
00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:19,800
Wipe that bitch down three or four more times.

727
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:20,800
She'll be alright.

728
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:21,800
Like, yeah, yeah.

729
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:22,800
Those ain't clean enough.

730
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:23,800
I've got to go get some more acetone.

731
00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:24,800
Well, would you like to switch up to mineral spirits?

732
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:25,800
Oh, no, no, no.

733
00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:26,800
No, no, no, no.

734
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:27,800
No, acetone gets it much cleaner.

735
00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:28,800
Much cleaner.

736
00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:29,800
Oh, the worst yet is lacquer thinner.

737
00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:30,800
Oh.

738
00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:41,800
Lacquer thinner will flat out send you to the fucking ozone if you get too close smelling

739
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:42,800
at.

740
00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:43,800
Yeah, yeah.

741
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:50,800
Like I said, I've paid in houses for a few years.

742
00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:51,800
Yeah.

743
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:52,800
Next one.

744
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:53,800
Crack pipe.

745
00:47:53,800 --> 00:48:00,000
Who doesn't like the smell of a nice crack pipe, huh?

746
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:02,200
I can't believe I'm picking this.

747
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:03,200
Where did they get this from?

748
00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:04,200
I'm a fellow.

749
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:05,200
I've heard you, Mark.

750
00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:06,200
I've never smelt one.

751
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:07,200
Oh, I have.

752
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:09,560
It is the weirdest fucking chemical smell ever.

753
00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:12,360
I'm not a crack pipe.

754
00:48:12,360 --> 00:48:13,960
Oh, man.

755
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:14,960
Oh.

756
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:17,040
There's this guy I used to work with.

757
00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:18,040
We called him Cracky.

758
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:27,360
And you could smell it on him because a friend that I worked with there walked up to him

759
00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:28,360
one time.

760
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:30,040
He goes, what is that weird smell every time you walk by?

761
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:31,040
Oh, that's crack.

762
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:33,400
He's a mini crack addict.

763
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:39,640
And when he got his check at 430 at this place that I worked at that welded stainless steel

764
00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:42,960
components together, he was a very good welder.

765
00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:53,760
And he hit someone on his bike, his motorcycle.

766
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:55,680
And he skidded down the road.

767
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:57,200
He skidded off one of his legs.

768
00:48:57,200 --> 00:48:59,000
He had a peg leg.

769
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:00,920
And I guess it killed her.

770
00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:02,240
And he went to prison for a while.

771
00:49:02,240 --> 00:49:04,360
But he was this fantastic welder.

772
00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:07,800
So this place hired him to weld.

773
00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:11,640
And he was still a crack addict admittedly.

774
00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:14,480
So he would get his check on 430 Friday.

775
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:18,320
And he would spend all his money on crack.

776
00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:20,120
And then when he ran out, he ran out.

777
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:21,600
Sometimes it would be Sunday.

778
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:23,480
Sometimes it would be Saturday.

779
00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:29,240
It just depended on how much crack he could get and how much he could smoke and all that.

780
00:49:29,240 --> 00:49:35,120
But he lived the city union mission.

781
00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:41,520
And he had a bus pass, a free bus pass through some sort of charity that would take him to

782
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:45,120
working back, the city bus would.

783
00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:49,040
And so he used to do that.

784
00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:55,280
He used to bitch because he had to listen to a gospel message at night.

785
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:58,200
And he had to go to bed at 9 o'clock in one of the cots.

786
00:49:58,200 --> 00:50:00,800
And so anyhow, he had everything paid for him.

787
00:50:00,800 --> 00:50:04,960
And they gave him food and all this food to go to work with and all that.

788
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:11,800
So me and this old man that I work with were both eating our fucking bologna or ham sandwiches

789
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:13,840
or whatever in the break room.

790
00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:18,160
And the crackhead, he'd come up there and he's eating like Stroud's chicken and Jack

791
00:50:18,160 --> 00:50:22,720
stack barbecue and all this expensive food.

792
00:50:22,720 --> 00:50:25,040
And I look at the old man, his name was Darryl.

793
00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:27,920
I go Darryl.

794
00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:29,520
Cracky over there, his name was Gerald.

795
00:50:29,520 --> 00:50:33,160
But anyhow, everyone called him Cracky and he wanted to be called Cracky.

796
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:40,080
I go, Gerald, or I go Darryl, my friend.

797
00:50:40,080 --> 00:50:44,000
I go Cracky over there is a crack addict, right?

798
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:45,000
Yeah.

799
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:50,840
I go, how did he get all this expensive food and you and I are eating fucking ham and bologna

800
00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:53,500
sandwiches and we don't do crack.

801
00:50:53,500 --> 00:50:59,160
We go home and we spend our checks on our families and stuff and this guy does not.

802
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:00,160
So how does that work?

803
00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:04,440
He goes, Darryl goes, you know what, he's honest about everything from being a crackhead

804
00:51:04,440 --> 00:51:05,440
to everything.

805
00:51:05,440 --> 00:51:06,440
Let's just go ask him.

806
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:08,640
Walk over there and we go, hey, Cracky.

807
00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:09,640
Yeah, what?

808
00:51:09,640 --> 00:51:11,640
You're a crackhead, right?

809
00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:12,640
Yeah.

810
00:51:12,640 --> 00:51:14,640
You spend all your money on crack, right?

811
00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:15,640
Yeah.

812
00:51:15,640 --> 00:51:16,640
Love it.

813
00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:17,640
Okay.

814
00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:22,320
Well, then how come you come in here with Stroud's chicken and Jack stack barbecue and

815
00:51:22,320 --> 00:51:28,160
all this great food and me and Darryl are eating fucking ham or bologna sandwiches?

816
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:29,160
He goes, oh man.

817
00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:30,160
He goes, yeah.

818
00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:36,440
He goes, Monday's Catholic services and the homeless shelter on Grand.

819
00:51:36,440 --> 00:51:40,080
Tuesday is this place, this place and this place.

820
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:47,760
What happens is all these catering jobs like Jack stack does a huge catering job or Stroud's

821
00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:54,040
or any of these fine restaurants around Kansas City, all the leftover food goes to them and

822
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:56,560
he gets all this fucking great food.

823
00:51:56,560 --> 00:52:03,960
He had like a great fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, fucking barbecue sandwich.

824
00:52:03,960 --> 00:52:06,040
Even had fucking a piece of carrot cake.

825
00:52:06,040 --> 00:52:07,040
It looked delicious.

826
00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:13,320
He goes, yeah, they come over and they give us this food every day and then if they don't,

827
00:52:13,320 --> 00:52:17,320
I go down to the Catholic church and I get one there Monday and Tuesday.

828
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:21,960
I go to this homeless shelter and Wednesday I go here and they get all this kick ass food

829
00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:26,480
that we didn't because we're not crackheads.

830
00:52:26,480 --> 00:52:27,480
Isn't that a bitch?

831
00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:28,480
Yeah.

832
00:52:28,480 --> 00:52:33,160
I almost told him to start getting food for me.

833
00:52:33,160 --> 00:52:38,360
Like dude man, fucking break me and Darryl off some of that shit.

834
00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:44,400
But anyhow, oh, this all started with crack pipe.

835
00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:45,600
Next one.

836
00:52:45,600 --> 00:52:46,600
I'm everywhere today.

837
00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:49,040
My ADD is fucking flying off the wall.

838
00:52:49,040 --> 00:52:51,040
I'm hearing this.

839
00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:52,040
Yeah.

840
00:52:52,040 --> 00:52:59,040
I hope this broadcast sounds good because I'm all over the fucking place.

841
00:52:59,040 --> 00:53:02,080
My opinion, I think it sounds pretty good so far.

842
00:53:02,080 --> 00:53:03,080
Okay, good.

843
00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:08,040
The next one, the next cologne flavor that did not make it was sawdust.

844
00:53:08,040 --> 00:53:11,440
What the hell is wrong with sawdust?

845
00:53:11,440 --> 00:53:13,160
It's one of my all time favorites.

846
00:53:13,160 --> 00:53:15,400
Sawdust is awesome.

847
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:16,800
Sawdust means you did a good job.

848
00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:23,600
And you see a pile of sawdust, it means you're a good person because you did this job and

849
00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:26,080
you made this wood something that would have never been.

850
00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:27,080
Yeah.

851
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:28,080
Yeah.

852
00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:29,080
Little pat on the ass.

853
00:53:29,080 --> 00:53:30,080
It's like good job, Mark.

854
00:53:30,080 --> 00:53:31,080
Look at this.

855
00:53:31,080 --> 00:53:34,080
She made this baseball bat to beat that dumb ass down the road with.

856
00:53:34,080 --> 00:53:35,080
Great job.

857
00:53:35,080 --> 00:53:36,080
Right?

858
00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:37,080
Amen.

859
00:53:37,080 --> 00:53:38,080
Amen.

860
00:53:38,080 --> 00:53:39,080
Amen.

861
00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:40,080
Okay, the next one.

862
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:50,680
I spent many years in construction in the building houses and that's a beautiful smell.

863
00:53:50,680 --> 00:53:51,680
Yes.

864
00:53:51,680 --> 00:53:52,680
Yep.

865
00:53:52,680 --> 00:53:53,680
Yep.

866
00:53:53,680 --> 00:53:54,680
Yeah.

867
00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:58,280
Well, I used to work around sawdust whenever I was in the shop and that's because I build

868
00:53:58,280 --> 00:54:03,840
pallets sometimes and sawdust will get up in your nose and get in your eyes and shit.

869
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:05,560
But I loved it.

870
00:54:05,560 --> 00:54:09,080
The word actually has kind of a sweet smell to it because we use pine.

871
00:54:09,080 --> 00:54:10,080
Yeah, yeah.

872
00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:13,080
I mean different woods have different smells.

873
00:54:13,080 --> 00:54:16,200
My favorite though is hickory.

874
00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:18,280
You ever burn hickory over a campfire?

875
00:54:18,280 --> 00:54:21,280
Oh, I love it.

876
00:54:21,280 --> 00:54:22,280
Hickory is just, man.

877
00:54:22,280 --> 00:54:23,280
I love it.

878
00:54:23,280 --> 00:54:25,280
Yeah, I love it just being out in the woods.

879
00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:26,280
No light anywhere.

880
00:54:26,280 --> 00:54:28,800
I think I burn forever.

881
00:54:28,800 --> 00:54:29,800
Hickory burns, you're right.

882
00:54:29,800 --> 00:54:30,800
I burn forever.

883
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:38,760
Hickory burns forever and it burns pretty hot too and it's just the most, it's the greatest

884
00:54:38,760 --> 00:54:39,760
smell.

885
00:54:39,760 --> 00:54:42,960
And I'll tell you what, if you got a couple of burgers you could throw on there if you

886
00:54:42,960 --> 00:54:46,320
have a grid or something you could put over it, they're the best burgers you'll have in

887
00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:47,320
your life.

888
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:48,320
Oh, yes.

889
00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:49,320
Oh, they're so good.

890
00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:50,320
Yes.

891
00:54:50,320 --> 00:54:51,320
Yep.

892
00:54:51,320 --> 00:54:58,160
The next one, meat sweats.

893
00:54:58,160 --> 00:55:00,200
I thought that was a great smell myself.

894
00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:03,200
I mean you smell like meat and you're sweating.

895
00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:05,200
Who wouldn't want that?

896
00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:08,200
No, no, no.

897
00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:09,200
No.

898
00:55:09,200 --> 00:55:10,200
Okay, all right.

899
00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:11,200
All right, hang on.

900
00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:12,200
No, no, hey, hey.

901
00:55:12,200 --> 00:55:13,200
You said you want us to disagree.

902
00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:14,200
I'm disagreeing with you.

903
00:55:14,200 --> 00:55:15,200
No, it's all right.

904
00:55:15,200 --> 00:55:16,200
It's all right we disagree.

905
00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:28,640
This next one I kind of see it because it's a pain in the ass.

906
00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:29,640
Sinus infection.

907
00:55:29,640 --> 00:55:34,200
No one wants to smell like a sinus infection.

908
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:41,320
A really bad one whenever people come up on you you can smell it in their breath.

909
00:55:41,320 --> 00:55:42,320
That sucks.

910
00:55:42,320 --> 00:55:43,320
Yes.

911
00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:45,200
But you can smell.

912
00:55:45,200 --> 00:55:48,320
You can smell it in their breath if they have a bad sinus infection.

913
00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:51,760
Yeah, but yeah, and you think, yeah, ooh.

914
00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:53,600
Smells like infected snot.

915
00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:54,600
Not good.

916
00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:57,080
I could see why that one got kicked out.

917
00:55:57,080 --> 00:55:58,080
I could too.

918
00:55:58,080 --> 00:56:00,640
Yeah, yep, I could too.

919
00:56:00,640 --> 00:56:03,840
The next one, tailpipe exhaust.

920
00:56:03,840 --> 00:56:09,560
Because no one wants to smell like burnt up gasoline coming out of a pipe, huh, I guess,

921
00:56:09,560 --> 00:56:10,560
huh?

922
00:56:10,560 --> 00:56:11,560
Who would have thought?

923
00:56:11,560 --> 00:56:12,560
Okay, well it depends.

924
00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:15,840
There's different tailpipe exhaust smells.

925
00:56:15,840 --> 00:56:18,040
Yeah, yeah, that's true.

926
00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:22,880
Good point, Rob.

927
00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:23,880
Well I guess.

928
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:33,160
Actually, if you smell it, it can't be that good if you think about it.

929
00:56:33,160 --> 00:56:36,800
If you smell it, it's really kind of a rancid smell actually.

930
00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:38,800
Yeah, yeah.

931
00:56:38,800 --> 00:56:43,400
And it's not very good for you either.

932
00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:44,400
Good point.

933
00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:45,400
Yeah.

934
00:56:45,400 --> 00:56:50,720
The next one, colosalmy bag.

935
00:56:50,720 --> 00:56:56,520
I think I could agree that that's probably not a good cologne smell.

936
00:56:56,520 --> 00:57:01,040
I don't think so.

937
00:57:01,040 --> 00:57:05,600
I think I get where the panel was going on this one.

938
00:57:05,600 --> 00:57:09,440
I was like, yeah.

939
00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:14,400
You just let me speak to smell that one.

940
00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:17,400
Probably not in a good way, huh?

941
00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:18,400
No.

942
00:57:18,400 --> 00:57:21,760
That's what I thought.

943
00:57:21,760 --> 00:57:27,480
So colosalmy bag did not make it.

944
00:57:27,480 --> 00:57:38,400
And then finally, finally, black pepper did not make it, oddly enough.

945
00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:42,280
So that is the list that Mr. X sent to me that I printed.

946
00:57:42,280 --> 00:57:46,720
You still got me on colosalmy bag.

947
00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:52,240
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

948
00:57:52,240 --> 00:58:03,040
So I got a question for you, Rob.

949
00:58:03,040 --> 00:58:09,200
I've got some of this asshole here, Olympics, that we could pit people against each other

950
00:58:09,200 --> 00:58:10,800
right now if you want to.

951
00:58:10,800 --> 00:58:16,120
Or do you want to wait and come up?

952
00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:23,880
Well, if you got some, yeah, I got some.

953
00:58:23,880 --> 00:58:27,600
Did you notice how I sent you a list of two different names?

954
00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:30,120
Yeah, my list and your list.

955
00:58:30,120 --> 00:58:33,440
And then the one I sent you earlier?

956
00:58:33,440 --> 00:58:34,440
Uh-huh.

957
00:58:34,440 --> 00:58:41,320
Well, that's because I found it a little back in my notebook and I don't know why I wrote

958
00:58:41,320 --> 00:58:43,320
it so back there.

959
00:58:43,320 --> 00:58:44,320
Oh, OK.

960
00:58:44,320 --> 00:58:50,360
That's why I sent you the one yesterday and then I sent you the one today.

961
00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:51,360
OK.

962
00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:52,360
Yeah.

963
00:58:52,360 --> 00:58:58,200
Now I'm looking for, oh, there it is.

964
00:58:58,200 --> 00:59:00,080
Well, you know what?

965
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:04,800
We can get into that one later, OK?

966
00:59:04,800 --> 00:59:05,800
I don't know, what do you think?

967
00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:09,360
Do you want to do the asshole here Olympics this time around?

968
00:59:09,360 --> 00:59:13,280
Or do you want to kind of like figure out who to pit them against each other?

969
00:59:13,280 --> 00:59:14,280
Because that's a big part of it.

970
00:59:14,280 --> 00:59:15,280
You have a lot more to pin up than me.

971
00:59:15,280 --> 00:59:16,280
OK.

972
00:59:16,280 --> 00:59:17,280
Well, hey, hey, how about this?

973
00:59:17,280 --> 00:59:18,280
OK.

974
00:59:18,280 --> 00:59:19,280
We have three toss-ups.

975
00:59:19,280 --> 00:59:20,280
How about we settle them?

976
00:59:20,280 --> 00:59:21,280
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

977
00:59:21,280 --> 00:59:22,280
OK, let's settle the toss-ups right now.

978
00:59:22,280 --> 00:59:23,280
OK, OK.

979
00:59:23,280 --> 00:59:30,280
Well, here, let's get my toss-up out of the way.

980
00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:31,280
OK.

981
00:59:31,280 --> 00:59:32,280
It was my dad's idea.

982
00:59:32,280 --> 00:59:33,280
OK.

983
00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:51,320
It was Madonna versus Sidney Lauper, and it was pitting on which one had the armpit hair.

984
00:59:51,320 --> 00:59:52,320
Who had the armpit hair?

985
00:59:52,320 --> 00:59:53,320
I was thinking it was Sidney Lauper.

986
00:59:53,320 --> 00:59:54,320
It was Madonna.

987
00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:55,320
They had the armpit hair.

988
00:59:55,320 --> 00:59:56,320
I had to find out.

989
00:59:56,320 --> 00:59:57,320
I looked it up.

990
00:59:57,320 --> 01:00:02,320
No, Madonna had the armpit hair.

991
01:00:02,320 --> 01:00:05,320
Yes, and that's my pick.

992
01:00:05,320 --> 01:00:06,320
OK.

993
01:00:06,320 --> 01:00:09,320
OK, well, Madonna got that one.

994
01:00:09,320 --> 01:00:10,320
OK.

995
01:00:10,320 --> 01:00:12,320
All right, what were the other two that were toss-ups?

996
01:00:12,320 --> 01:00:17,320
OK, you also brought up Julianna Margolis.

997
01:00:17,320 --> 01:00:18,320
Margolis.

998
01:00:18,320 --> 01:00:19,320
Julianna Margolis.

999
01:00:19,320 --> 01:00:22,320
Yeah, versus Carrie Underwood.

1000
01:00:22,320 --> 01:00:28,080
Margolis, I believe.

1001
01:00:28,080 --> 01:00:33,080
Was she like Israel Jewish?

1002
01:00:33,080 --> 01:00:37,080
I think so.

1003
01:00:37,080 --> 01:00:46,080
Carrie Underwood's blonde.

1004
01:00:46,080 --> 01:00:54,080
I'm going to go with Margolis, I guess.

1005
01:00:54,080 --> 01:00:55,080
You?

1006
01:00:55,080 --> 01:00:58,080
Julianna's got my vote.

1007
01:00:58,080 --> 01:01:01,080
OK, all right, then Julianna won.

1008
01:01:01,080 --> 01:01:09,080
And our final toss-up, and it was you that was all over the place on this one.

1009
01:01:09,080 --> 01:01:11,080
OK, well, I believe that.

1010
01:01:11,080 --> 01:01:14,080
And it was one of your picks.

1011
01:01:14,080 --> 01:01:15,080
OK.

1012
01:01:15,080 --> 01:01:18,080
Robert De Niro versus Brad Pitt.

1013
01:01:18,080 --> 01:01:19,080
Oh.

1014
01:01:19,080 --> 01:01:26,080
Do you have a definite?

1015
01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:27,080
I do, yeah.

1016
01:01:27,080 --> 01:01:28,080
OK, who is it?

1017
01:01:28,080 --> 01:01:35,080
I'm sticking with my original pick, Robert De Niro.

1018
01:01:35,080 --> 01:01:40,080
You went to nudging to Brad Pitt, and I don't know why.

1019
01:01:40,080 --> 01:01:45,080
I heard the people that knew him, or supposedly knew him, I have no way of telling if they

1020
01:01:45,080 --> 01:01:46,080
did grow up with him or not.

1021
01:01:46,080 --> 01:01:47,080
OK, yeah, you did go into that.

1022
01:01:47,080 --> 01:01:52,080
Yeah, they said he was very unclean.

1023
01:01:52,080 --> 01:01:54,080
I don't know that for sure.

1024
01:01:54,080 --> 01:01:56,080
I have no way of proving that.

1025
01:01:56,080 --> 01:02:00,080
But if that's true, then I would go with him with asshole hair because he wouldn't care.

1026
01:02:00,080 --> 01:02:05,080
And Robert De Niro, well, I don't know, Robert De Niro is pretty old now, so maybe he would

1027
01:02:05,080 --> 01:02:06,080
have more.

1028
01:02:06,080 --> 01:02:07,080
You know what?

1029
01:02:07,080 --> 01:02:09,080
I'm changing my vote.

1030
01:02:09,080 --> 01:02:13,080
Robert De Niro, he's Italian, so he's probably going to have hairy ass anyhow.

1031
01:02:13,080 --> 01:02:17,080
And he's old, so he doesn't give a shit.

1032
01:02:17,080 --> 01:02:20,080
If it fucking runs out of his underwear or whatever, he doesn't care.

1033
01:02:20,080 --> 01:02:24,080
So you know what, Rob, I am with you now.

1034
01:02:24,080 --> 01:02:27,080
Robert De Niro wins that one.

1035
01:02:27,080 --> 01:02:32,080
Good, because we got a couple of matchups for him coming up.

1036
01:02:32,080 --> 01:02:34,080
I'm looking at him.

1037
01:02:34,080 --> 01:02:35,080
I'm looking to it.

1038
01:02:35,080 --> 01:02:37,080
I got an idea.

1039
01:02:37,080 --> 01:02:38,080
Yeah.

1040
01:02:38,080 --> 01:02:43,080
You take my list and match the two up, and I take your list and match the two up.

1041
01:02:43,080 --> 01:02:47,080
What do you think?

1042
01:02:47,080 --> 01:02:51,080
I don't know about that, man.

1043
01:02:51,080 --> 01:02:54,080
Do you want to stick with yours and match them up?

1044
01:02:54,080 --> 01:02:58,080
Well, I have one, two, three, four, five, six.

1045
01:02:58,080 --> 01:03:00,080
Okay, you know what?

1046
01:03:00,080 --> 01:03:01,080
No, no, no, no, no.

1047
01:03:01,080 --> 01:03:07,080
Here's what I'll do is I'll write out a whole other list all together with all the names

1048
01:03:07,080 --> 01:03:16,080
on it, and then let's do a matchup show where we match up who should match up against who

1049
01:03:16,080 --> 01:03:23,080
else, and then we'll do the final show where the two pit against each other, and then we'll

1050
01:03:23,080 --> 01:03:27,080
do the next show where the two pitted against each other, and then until we run out to the

1051
01:03:27,080 --> 01:03:33,080
final four, and then the final, the Elite Eight, the final four, you know, the Sweet

1052
01:03:33,080 --> 01:03:39,080
Sixteen, the Elite Eight, the final four, and then the championship game, which would

1053
01:03:39,080 --> 01:03:42,080
be the championship of the Ass Error Olympics.

1054
01:03:42,080 --> 01:03:46,080
That sound good?

1055
01:03:46,080 --> 01:03:50,080
You know I will follow your lead.

1056
01:03:50,080 --> 01:03:52,080
All right, then that's what we'll do.

1057
01:03:52,080 --> 01:03:59,080
I'm going to go over both lists when I get a chance, and we'll start pitting people up

1058
01:03:59,080 --> 01:04:07,080
against, or we'll do a show about who we pit up against who, and then after that we'll

1059
01:04:07,080 --> 01:04:12,080
do a show where they pit up against each other, and we're actually having an asshole hair

1060
01:04:12,080 --> 01:04:19,080
off Olympics, and then we'll just keep, you know, keep going until we go to the final

1061
01:04:19,080 --> 01:04:20,080
two.

1062
01:04:20,080 --> 01:04:26,080
Because I'm seeing some good matchups off your list.

1063
01:04:26,080 --> 01:04:27,080
Okay.

1064
01:04:27,080 --> 01:04:30,080
Well, name one of them, just one of them.

1065
01:04:30,080 --> 01:04:34,080
Oh, well let's see here.

1066
01:04:34,080 --> 01:04:38,080
Here, let's go with an easy one.

1067
01:04:38,080 --> 01:04:39,080
Okay.

1068
01:04:39,080 --> 01:04:44,080
There's two athletes, Derek Carr and Martha Smariota.

1069
01:04:44,080 --> 01:04:45,080
Hmm.

1070
01:04:45,080 --> 01:04:47,080
She and stuff like that.

1071
01:04:47,080 --> 01:04:51,080
I'm not going with Derek Carr over Mar- you know what?

1072
01:04:51,080 --> 01:04:52,080
That's a great-

1073
01:04:52,080 --> 01:04:53,080
Sorry?

1074
01:04:53,080 --> 01:04:54,080
Yeah, I'm saving it.

1075
01:04:54,080 --> 01:04:55,080
I'm saving it.

1076
01:04:55,080 --> 01:04:56,080
So.

1077
01:04:56,080 --> 01:04:57,080
Okay.

1078
01:04:57,080 --> 01:04:58,080
All right.

1079
01:04:58,080 --> 01:04:59,080
Um, hang on we'll be-

1080
01:04:59,080 --> 01:05:00,080
But, but, but we have one.

1081
01:05:00,080 --> 01:05:01,080
One what?

1082
01:05:01,080 --> 01:05:02,080
No, actually, actually, I figured out who to call that one up with.

1083
01:05:02,080 --> 01:05:03,080
Never mind.

1084
01:05:03,080 --> 01:05:04,080
Okay.

1085
01:05:04,080 --> 01:05:05,080
All right.

1086
01:05:05,080 --> 01:05:06,080
Yeah.

1087
01:05:06,080 --> 01:05:11,080
Okay, hang on a minute Rob.

1088
01:05:11,080 --> 01:05:16,080
We will be back.

1089
01:05:16,080 --> 01:05:32,840
With a millennial would you rather, I found on the internet they asked millennials, would

1090
01:05:32,840 --> 01:05:34,080
you rather this or that?

1091
01:05:34,080 --> 01:05:38,080
And it's pretty interesting what they picked and the questions that they asked.

1092
01:05:38,080 --> 01:05:41,080
So we'll be back actually in a little better.

1093
01:05:41,080 --> 01:05:44,080
It'll probably be a whole other podcast so I'm probably just full of shit on this.

1094
01:05:44,080 --> 01:05:49,080
So, uh, whenever you hear this, wait a couple of days for the next one to come out.

1095
01:05:49,080 --> 01:05:50,080
It'll be on there probably.

1096
01:05:50,080 --> 01:05:51,080
So.

1097
01:05:51,080 --> 01:05:54,080
Two douchebags and microphone dot net.

1098
01:05:54,080 --> 01:05:58,080
You're one stop for everything douchebaggery.

1099
01:05:58,080 --> 01:05:59,080
You want to write us?

1100
01:05:59,080 --> 01:06:01,080
You want to say something to us?

1101
01:06:01,080 --> 01:06:04,080
You want to look for a live button when we go live you can call in.

1102
01:06:04,080 --> 01:06:09,080
All of this stuff is right there for your ear holes and eye holes.

1103
01:06:09,080 --> 01:06:10,080
You got it chumps.

1104
01:06:10,080 --> 01:06:11,080
It's all yours.

1105
01:06:11,080 --> 01:06:15,080
Two douchebags and microphone dot net is up and running.

1106
01:06:15,080 --> 01:06:19,080
Don't forget to hit the subscribe button.

1107
01:06:19,080 --> 01:06:22,080
Don't forget to hit the subscribe button.

1108
01:06:22,080 --> 01:06:26,080
Don't forget to hit the subscribe button.

1109
01:06:26,080 --> 01:06:31,080
Hey, where did everybody go?

1110
01:06:31,080 --> 01:06:34,080
Where are the douchebags?

1111
01:06:34,080 --> 01:06:39,080
Oh my god, someone took a dump in the corner.

1112
01:06:39,080 --> 01:06:41,080
Oh jeez.

1113
01:06:41,080 --> 01:06:43,080
Ugh, I'm glad they're gone.

1114
01:06:43,080 --> 01:06:45,080
Let's just hope they don't come back.

1115
01:06:45,080 --> 01:07:10,080
Man that smells.