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Live from the historic River Market District in downtown Kansas City, Missouri,

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from the banks of the beautiful Crystal Blue Walkers of the Missouri River,

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it is Two Douchebags and Microphone Podcast.

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Invisible ass paddlings, new douche flavors, and horrible pranks?

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What the fuck is wrong with these guys?

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Two Douchebags and a Microphone, pasteurized for your protection.

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Now we go to the amazing Mark the Palm Reader.

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Hello everybody and welcome to Mark the Amazing Palm Reader.

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First in line, please step up.

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Let's see young lady, I see a long lifeline.

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I see success, happiness, love, fortune.

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I also see a bit index finger.

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Twenty dollars please.

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Hi everybody, this is Two Douchebags and Microphone. I am Mark.

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And I'm Rob.

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Alrighty. Cool. Well, alright. So what's been going on with you Rob Rad?

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Oh, just working like normal. And preparing for the show.

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Alright, good, good. You're sounding great there. You really do. You're booming today.

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Well, if you remember right here while back, I had a pair of ear pods.

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And right before we were starting the show, I got up to get a glass of tea and my ear pod fell in the glass of tea.

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I do remember that.

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Yes.

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Well, it killed that one. So I was operating on the other one.

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Well, as I was talking to people on the phone, they started telling me that that one was giving out on me.

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So I went back to my wired ones.

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Well, I happened to make it to Walmart today and I got me a new upstreated pair.

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Excellent.

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I hope they're working good.

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Well, you know, we appreciate that here on Two Douchebags and Microphone.

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And I know you're a part of it, but we appreciate that here because that makes us sound that much better.

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And you sound great whenever your voice is booming like that. You sound fantastic.

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Good, good.

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Yeah, good. You're coming through clear. It sounds really good. And it's going to show in the podcast.

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These have a lot of noise reduction so I can't hear much around me.

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That's good.

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So I'm hoping you're not going to hear much around me over the microphone.

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Well, that's part of the deal. No, that's part of the deal that's going on is I can't hear anything else.

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So therefore I hear you much better. And that's why I meant by your voice booming.

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It's booming through the Bluetooth perfectly. So good.

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Well, it's pretty quiet here.

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Okay. Well, coming up in the program, we have...I have personally the Asshole Hair Olympics again because we can't let that go.

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Yeah, I'm waiting.

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And then I have a list of fast food restaurant chains that flop during testing.

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Oh, wow.

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Yeah, yeah. We...this is the guy from the fast food industry. It's like Mr. Z of the Douche Flavors.

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This is Mr. Z of the fast food industry. And he sent me this email and said, hey, quick download this and it's going to disappear in 10 minutes.

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I get on there and I download it and I got it right here.

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So these are fast food restaurants that flop during testing.

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So we'll get to...we'll read them off and we'll get to decide why they flopped or whether they should be one at every corner.

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So...

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Are you going to that right now or can I break it?

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No, no, no. That's what I was going to ask. Do you have something you want to chime in with or go ahead?

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Yes. Like I said, before we come on here, I was doing some homework.

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All right.

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And do you know the name Donnie Baker?

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Yeah, yeah. He is a comedian.

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From the Bob and Tom Show.

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Yeah, I understand. He had some problems here recently.

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His name was Ron Sexton.

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Okay. I think I knew that. I don't know for sure.

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I'm just going to read you the first paragraph. I have it pulled up right here.

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Well, did you see the article where he was like messing around with somebody's wife and I think they like beat the hell out of him or something.

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Okay.

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I think that's what...

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Well, he passed away.

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Oh, he died? Oh.

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He passed away.

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Oh, man. What's Bob and Tom going to do for five hours?

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While staying in a motel in Dayton, Ohio.

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Wow. I didn't know that.

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Yeah.

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When did this happen?

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Well, this came out five hours ago.

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Okay. Then it just happened.

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Yeah.

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Well, I wonder what happened because I think... I'm not for sure. I think he had some problems with somebody's ex or soon-to-be ex or current...

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I don't know. I just wanted to make sure to...

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You know what? I'm not sure.

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...get that across it.

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Let me pull it like this. I'm not sure about that. I remember reading something about that or hearing it on the radio or something like he was having some problems with... I don't know. You know what? Look it up. See what you can find about it if you're that curious about it. But I thought it was something like that. But wow. Does it say what they think happened?

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Okay. Well, okay. I'm reading further into it here.

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Okay.

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Yeah. In 2022, he was shot in Indianapolis while in his car. Four of the investigators are shooting what's his lover at against the spouse of a lady with whom Ron Sexton was rumored to have been having an affair.

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That's what I thought it was.

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Okay.

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And maybe it might have something...

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You know what? Hey, man. The guy was great. He was funny.

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Yeah.

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And, you know, whatever happened on that whole deal, I wasn't there, so I don't know. So all I got to say is, hey, RIP, Donnie Baker. God bless you. I hope you have a wonderful time in the afterlife. And you did your mark on this world by making people laugh. And that's one of the best things you can do.

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He helped open the gate for people like us.

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Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean...

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Just being on the Bob and Tom show.

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There's a lot of characters that were tempered after him. You can just look and you can make your own mind up about what the characters that came after him that was actually, I thought he was the template for. You know, the kind of like the party guy with the mullet and the, whoo-hoo, hey, yeah.

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You know...

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That's the picture I was just looking at. Yeah.

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Yes. He actually, in my opinion, started a lot of that, what would you call it, redneck hippie or something or something like that. He started kind of an attitude type of deal.

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Yeah.

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It's not Larry the Cable Guy and it's not... it's kind of a hybrid of a Zubass wearing guy with mullet guy with a little bit of country. I mean, you know...

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And everybody knew a guy like that growing up. The character was actually quite brilliant in my mind. So, anyhow, well, Donnie Baker or what was his real name, Sexton?

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Ron Sexton.

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Alright, Ron Sexton. You'll live forever in your comedy. Rest in peace.

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Well, thank you. Well, what a surprise.

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Age of 52, by the way.

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I didn't think he was that old. Yeah, wow. Well, I'll have to listen to good old B&T Monday morning and see what they have to say about it.

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Yeah.

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Yeah. Alright, well, that blows. So, alright. You have anything else you want to go into or you want me to start?

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I'm going to go ahead.

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Well, first, the first story I'd like to get to and then we can get to some of the haha stuff here in a little bit. But Netflix recorded a second quarter 2023 earnings Wednesday revealing paid subscribers increased by 5.89 million in the quarter that ended June 30th.

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Analysts had projected the streamer gain in only 1.7 million new subscribers in Q2, the period in which Netflix began notifying customers in the US and other countries that users on their accounts who live outside their households would need to be added as an extra member or pay their own subscriptions.

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Netflix smashed Walmart's expectations by instead raising rising to 238 39 million global subscribers in Q2 compared to its 2.32 2.5 million total in Q1 that growth marks an 8% year over year increase in subs.

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So, I heard every here's here's what I thought was odd.

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I know a lot of the next Netflix subscribers including myself.

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I enjoy a lot of what they're doing.

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I like I said before, to toe for it. I'm not sure if I said to you.

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They, to me, are one of the true forms of journal journalism if I can speak that's left because they are a paid subscription, and they can go to these big corporations and do pieces on them and not worry about not getting advertisers blocked.

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And so I enjoy Netflix quite a bit, but the whole thing I was getting is, is everybody said they were leaving Netflix, but they did not.

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Everybody said, no, that's it. I'm done with them. I'm sick of their shit. They're constantly raising stuff.

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The programming isn't as good. Blah, blah, all this and that.

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But everybody ran out and added one or something. Something had to happen because they gained a lot of fucking listeners and a lot of money.

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So, Netflix, bravo.

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Got to give you kudos. You know what to do.

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Actually, I'm thinking about signing up for myself.

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Well, I'll tell you what, there are...

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Even though I don't watch much TV because I'm too busy listening to music these days.

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Yeah, I'm into music and podcasts too.

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The only TV that I watch is if I see something on Netflix or Amazon or something that interests me, I'll go watch it.

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Lately, actually over last year and a half, actually it's been a lot more since I moved my mom in.

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We moved my mom in last year. I've been watching The Price is Right and The Wheel of Fortune a lot more because she enjoys those shows.

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And to me, it's just good entertainment.

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I mean, she watches the game show Network constantly and watches the old Password 76s and Match Games and all that.

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Yeah, my mom watches a lot of me TV.

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Yeah, yeah. And the same with my mom.

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You know, it's that older genre of shows. But I gotta admit, I think I enjoy Netflix and game shows more than anything anymore

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because most TV just doesn't do anything for me. I just don't think it's that good.

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I think it's just appeasing a base that's easy to appease.

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Yes.

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So, anyhow.

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So, yeah, Netflix did something that everybody raised their fists about, their tiny fists, and yelled and said,

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That's it. You did it. You pushed us to the line.

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No, they didn't. No, they didn't.

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No, they're doing better than ever. So, congratulations, Netflix.

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So, pretty interesting stuff.

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Yeah.

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I'll save the asshole Olympics for later on in the broadcast.

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Yeah, yeah.

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The next story I want to go into is this Vegas flight. Did you hear about it?

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No, I don't know.

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This flight that was leaving Vegas, and let's see, where was it going to?

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A flight to Atlanta from Las Vegas from Harry Reid International Airport,

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sat in the tarmac for four hours with no air conditioning, 115 degrees outside.

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Damn.

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Yeah, the US Department of Transportation said Thursday that it was investigating why passengers on a Delta airline flight

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had been left to swelter for hours in triple-digit temperatures while the plane waited on the tarmac at Las Vegas Airport on Monday.

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The flight DL555 to Atlanta was supposed to take off from Harry Reid International Airport on Monday,

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but instead sat on the tarmac where the extreme heat sickened passengers,

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causing some of them to faint according to reports posted by social media by those on board.

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The ordeal lasted nearly three hours with paramedics boarding the plane to wheel out three people who had fallen ill.

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Krista Garvin, a passenger and a producer for Fox News, wrote on Twitter this right here.

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Delta, what an insane experience.

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First we were delayed because you did not have a flight attendant,

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then we finally board and sit for almost three hours on a hot plane in 111 degrees weather.

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Now we're heading back to the gate because people are passing out.

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We are now being told that this flight will be canceled and there's not going to be another one going out today.

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They kept everybody on the tarmac for over three hours,

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and they told people before they left, according to another article that I read,

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that if you got off you were going to lose your trip to Atlanta and there was not another one going out that day.

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So you were pretty much forced to sit on that fucking squeltering hot plane if you wanted to go to Atlanta and not wait an extra day.

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And there's like people like that were probably catching a connecting flight and they're like going wherever.

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Let's say they're from Florida or I don't know, Alabama.

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So they catch a connecting flight in Atlanta and let's say they have to be to work the next day,

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or they got to attend their, I don't know, their sister's operation or something.

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They have something very important coming up the next day,

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and they're getting threatened pretty much the way it sounds to me if this is true what I'm reading.

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They're getting threatened like you're not going to leave Las Vegas today if you get off this plane.

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So you're sitting there for three hours with no air conditioning.

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Number one I'd like to know, are they able to air condition a plane?

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Was this like a fuel thing? They didn't want to burn that much fuel?

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Is that what it is?

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Or could they not properly air condition a plane when it's not moving?

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I would like to know these things because if it was a fuel issue and they're doing it to save money,

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then I'm going to be furious at Delta and I'm already not happy with them.

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I used to think at Delta, well I think Delta still generally is one of the better airlines,

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and this is not far the norm from what I hear from Deltas.

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Not like Southwest or Spirit or something like that.

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In my opinion both of those airlines aren't worth two cans of shit right now.

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So I don't know. But this is very disappointing that this happened.

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And I can't believe that they would tell passengers if this is true that you're not getting out of here

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unless you go on this flight today, making people stay on that airline, on that flight.

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Yeah.

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So yeah, that's pretty interesting.

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So anyhow, well alright, I had that one bummer thing, so how about it?

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Yeah, go ahead.

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You know how you've been bashing on Chris Jones?

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Yes.

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Okay. Well this is a report on the combat three hours ago.

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Okay.

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I'm just going to read two quick little paragraphs just to fill you in.

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Look, I love Chris Jones. I just think that he needs to give a little like Mixon has.

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I do too, but listen to this.

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Okay.

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Star defensive tackle Chris Jones failed to report to training camp with the rest of the team's veteran players

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according to ESPN's NFL insider Adam Shep Jones also skipped the team's mandatory mini camp

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as he's trying to leverage a new long-term contract with the team.

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Okay. Well if you're going to skip this step, how are you gaining with the team?

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No, I know. It sets a very bad precedent and I personally, look I love Chris Jones, but maybe it's time to part ways.

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Okay, I'm starting to see where you've been coming from this whole time.

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I don't like it.

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I really am.

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Because if anyone has a legitimate beef about the money they're getting, it should be my homes, right?

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Yeah.

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You don't see him whining and bitching and going to the media and fucking crying about it?

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You know, we got rid of one sore spot and that was Tyreek Hill and we did better.

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And nobody thought we was going to do better. Nobody thought.

214
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,000
But you told them to keep money.

215
00:18:51,000 --> 00:19:00,000
Yes. But look what happened after we got rid of Hill. We became better. So who knows? Who knows?

216
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:07,000
You know what, maybe Chris Jones and some of that spirit about bitching about the company and fucking yiping

217
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:12,000
and saying, I deserve my money and all that stuff. Maybe we don't need that.

218
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:19,000
So anyhow, he's got one more year. Fucking play it. Prove what you can do and then maybe we'll talk I guess, right?

219
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:27,000
But I don't think you hold the Chiefs hostage. I don't think anyone except my homes and maybe Kelsey right now

220
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:30,000
has that kind of clout to where they could hold the Chiefs hostage.

221
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:39,000
Everyone else is expendable on this team because you have number 15 and then to a certain degree you have number 87.

222
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:46,000
But as long as you got number 15, you ain't holding shit on this team. So anyhow.

223
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:50,000
Yeah, because he's proven he can make contact with anybody.

224
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,000
Yes. So.

225
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,000
He's proven that.

226
00:19:53,000 --> 00:20:01,000
You know what, we won with defenses that gave up 35 points and 31 points in both Super Bowls.

227
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,000
Wasn't it 31 points?

228
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:07,000
Yeah, something like that. Yeah.

229
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:15,000
Yeah. So, you know, we won this last Super Bowl and they scored 35 points.

230
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:19,000
So I don't know, Chris Jones, you tell me what happened there.

231
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:23,000
How many times you have Jalen Hurts on his back in that game?

232
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:27,000
I think a resounding zero might be the answer.

233
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,000
Yeah.

234
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:34,000
So, I know he played well in the playoffs, yes, and he is, he's a great player.

235
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:42,000
Yes, but to do this and to, I don't like it. I don't think it's a team first attitude.

236
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:46,000
And I think that kind of spirit can hurt a team.

237
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:50,000
And I don't know, you know, maybe it's time to read.

238
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,000
It's good old greed.

239
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,000
Yes.

240
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,000
Good old greed.

241
00:20:53,000 --> 00:21:00,000
Here's what I'm thinking is maybe there's a cheaper option where you get two or three almost Chris Jones's.

242
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,000
You know what, I know this.

243
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,000
I'm sure they're out there.

244
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:13,000
Andy Reed and Brett Veach and Mahomes and everybody deserve our,

245
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:19,000
they deserve our, what would you say it, our trust.

246
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:26,000
I trust that they will figure out the best in this situation and execute it.

247
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:33,000
So, you know what, they have that job and I'm glad they have that job and they'll figure it out.

248
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:40,000
They brought the cheese out of the gutter, we'll say, to where they are now.

249
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,000
Yes.

250
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:50,000
Yeah, they brought us out of the Brody Croyles and the Mack Castles and the,

251
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:55,000
insert every other ass bag in there that you want to.

252
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:59,000
What was it, Quinn, Quinn, something like that.

253
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:03,000
Brady Quinn, all those fucks.

254
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:07,000
Oh, that guy Orton, was it Kyle Orton?

255
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:08,000
Oh well, anyhow.

256
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,000
Yeah.

257
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:19,000
So, all right, going on a lighter note, I obtained this note from Mr. X of the fast food industry.

258
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,000
Okay.

259
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,000
All right.

260
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:30,000
And he sent me a list of fast food restaurants that flopped during testing.

261
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:36,000
And this is where we can break it down and figure out why it flopped, okay.

262
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,000
This should be interesting.

263
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:40,000
It should be.

264
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:47,000
The first one that he put on the list was Waffle Garden.

265
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,000
Yeah.

266
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:52,000
So, I guess it's like going to be like Olive Garden only waffles.

267
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:59,000
So, they come out with big bowls of waffles and like big things of syrup that you can pour all over them.

268
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,000
You get a waffle salad.

269
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:04,000
Yeah, Waffle Garden.

270
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:09,000
Yeah, so they tested it on the Northeast, what I understand, right.

271
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:12,000
And it didn't do so well.

272
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:15,000
I mean, I'm flabbergasted.

273
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:18,000
Doesn't that sound great?

274
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,000
It tastes good like that.

275
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,000
Yeah, waffles and, and, uh, foilage.

276
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,000
Mmm.

277
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,000
Yeah.

278
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,000
You want to try it?

279
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

280
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:32,000
Yeah, I mean, yeah, or if you prefer ranch, I guess you could throw some ranch on there, you know.

281
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,000
Put your waffles right next to your salad.

282
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:35,000
You know, let the ranch touch the waffles.

283
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:38,000
Who cares, right?

284
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,000
Yeah.

285
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,000
Yeah, what could hurt?

286
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:41,000
A little ranch on a waffle.

287
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,000
Who gives a shit, right?

288
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,000
Even Russian, you know, that red stuff.

289
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:48,000
You can have a little of that, hit your waffle, it'll be okay.

290
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:49,000
Be alright.

291
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,000
I'm a thousand island fan.

292
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,000
Okay, you can have a little thousand island, touch that.

293
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,000
Yeah, yeah.

294
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:54,000
They'll put it on Big Macs.

295
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:55,000
It goes good with everything.

296
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:58,000
Yeah, they put it on Big Macs, so how bad can it be?

297
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,000
Yeah, that's what I was getting ready to say.

298
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:01,000
They put up Big Macs, even.

299
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:04,000
If they put it on Big Macs, it's got to be good, right?

300
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,000
A. A. McDonald's.

301
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,000
Yeah, yeah.

302
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:12,000
The next one I find this fascinating, I can't believe it did not work.

303
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,000
Pizzatini.

304
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:17,000
So they make martinis out of pizza.

305
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,000
Oh damn, that sounds good.

306
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:20,000
Yeah.

307
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,000
Can you believe that flopped?

308
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:23,000
No, I can't.

309
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,000
I mean, you know, I mean even anchovies, you know.

310
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:29,000
You got your pizzatini there in your little glass.

311
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,000
They come over and go out.

312
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,000
No, you can leave out the anchovies.

313
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,000
I ate anchovies, too.

314
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,000
I'm just saying that for effect.

315
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:37,000
So they come over and go.

316
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:38,000
Oh, okay.

317
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:39,000
Okay.

318
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,000
Excuse me, sir.

319
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,000
Here's our list of pizzatini.

320
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,000
What would you like next?

321
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,000
Hmm, let's see.

322
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,000
And maybe the buffalo.

323
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:48,000
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

324
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:50,000
What is this one?

325
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:55,000
This one is an anchovy and let's see.

326
00:24:55,000 --> 00:25:01,000
Oh, some caper cola, some spicy sauce.

327
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,000
Okay.

328
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,000
You know what?

329
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,000
I think I'm going to go with this number, too.

330
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:10,000
With the anchovies and caper cola and some spicy sauce on it.

331
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:18,000
And then maybe I'll lead my way into a buffalo ranch.

332
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,000
And who knows?

333
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,000
I mean, you know, they even do Burn-In Pizza up here.

334
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:23,000
Minsky's does.

335
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:31,000
And they do the Z-Man Pizza, which is a famous sandwich that Joe's Kansas City Barbecue does.

336
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,000
And they come out with those periodically.

337
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:36,000
So yeah, yeah, this will work.

338
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:40,000
So anyhow, the next one.

339
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:42,000
Are you ready for it?

340
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:43,000
Yes.

341
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:47,000
Weiner barn.

342
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:50,000
Weiner barn did not work.

343
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:56,000
I mean, what's better than a weiner in a barn, right?

344
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,000
Go in there.

345
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:58,000
Yeah.

346
00:25:58,000 --> 00:25:59,000
Yeah, yeah.

347
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,000
It's like a big barn and it's nothing but wieners.

348
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:06,000
And go in there, you know, grab three or four wieners, put it on a plate, grab some relish.

349
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:11,000
You know, you can have like a Chicago style wiener, a New York style.

350
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:17,000
You know, you can do like a little crisscrossing, you know, even have a barbecue wiener if you want.

351
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:22,000
You know, you can, you know, hell, anything but kale, right?

352
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:25,000
Sky's the limit with wieners, right?

353
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,000
What the hell is kale doing there?

354
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,000
I said anything but kale.

355
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:32,000
Yeah, but why do you mention it?

356
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,000
No, no kale, no kale.

357
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,000
No kale at Weiner, at Weiner barn.

358
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,000
That's what I'm saying.

359
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,000
You can put anything on there, sauerkraut, whatever.

360
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:43,000
No kale.

361
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:46,000
So I'm just making sure.

362
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,000
But anyhow, it doesn't matter.

363
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:53,000
Wiener barn's not going to happen now because the powers of B dropped the, they dropped the stick on this one.

364
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:54,000
It's that simple, man.

365
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:55,000
They just dropped it.

366
00:26:55,000 --> 00:27:00,000
They should have, there should be wiener barns at every fucking corner, right?

367
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:01,000
Right.

368
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:02,000
You look to the left, there's McDonald's.

369
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:05,000
You look to the right, there should be a wiener barn.

370
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:06,000
Yeah.

371
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,000
Yeah.

372
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,000
Yeah, I'm very disappointed, guys.

373
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:10,000
Very disappointed.

374
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:13,000
We need a wiener barn and we need it at every corner.

375
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:21,000
And just so you know, we're going to be a little jumpy just at the main kale right now because of those things.

376
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,000
We're still sore about what they did to Topher.

377
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,000
We want revenge.

378
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:25,000
Yeah.

379
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:26,000
You know, Topher's fine.

380
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:27,000
I saw him.

381
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:29,000
He's physically fine, but we're pissed.

382
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:30,000
They took ours.

383
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:33,000
Yeah, we're working on that.

384
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,000
We're getting out of our revenge.

385
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:36,000
Yes.

386
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:37,000
Yes.

387
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:43,000
So the main thing is, Topher's bleached his hand numerous times.

388
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:46,000
The thing is, I'm thinking psychologically, it really messed with him.

389
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:51,000
He's bleaching his hand quite a bit because his hand actually touched kale.

390
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,000
It would anybody.

391
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:57,000
When he told me this story in person, I cried.

392
00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:01,000
He had a tough time getting it out.

393
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,000
He was like, I got something to tell you, Mark.

394
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:04,000
And I'm like, what?

395
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:11,000
He goes, man, he goes, they had me tied up and they had me touch kale.

396
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,000
I was like, oh my God.

397
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:17,000
I'm so sorry, Topher.

398
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:18,000
Yeah.

399
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:19,000
You know what?

400
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:20,000
I always send him a card.

401
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:24,000
I went ahead and signed your name to it, but if you want to go ahead and send another card, do it.

402
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:25,000
You know?

403
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,000
Yeah.

404
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:27,000
Yeah.

405
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:28,000
Yeah.

406
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:29,000
On every card, I put death to kale.

407
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,000
Always.

408
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,000
Yeah.

409
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:34,000
Yeah.

410
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:37,000
So anyhow, yeah.

411
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,000
So Wiener barn should be everywhere.

412
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:45,000
We're thoroughly pissed and just not happy that there is not a Wiener barn at every corner.

413
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:46,000
So.

414
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,000
No, we need Wieners.

415
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:49,000
Yeah.

416
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:53,000
Everyone needs Wieners at every corner in a barn.

417
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,000
So.

418
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:55,000
All right.

419
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:56,000
Next one.

420
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:57,000
Okay.

421
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,000
No, go ahead.

422
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:02,000
No, no, it's a different subject.

423
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:09,000
Oh, speaking of Wieners, has Gonza sent you anything here recently?

424
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,000
Oh, oh, you will.

425
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:15,000
Let's finish this subject and we'll go into that one.

426
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:18,000
No, I don't have an update.

427
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,000
Okay.

428
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:21,000
There's a Gonza update.

429
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:25,000
Let's finish this subject and we'll never finish, man.

430
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:26,000
Okay.

431
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:29,000
The next one, burger closet.

432
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:34,000
You know, I mean, who, burgers have a little closet.

433
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,000
I think that's a great idea.

434
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:37,000
Got a guy there.

435
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:38,000
Hey, may I help you?

436
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:44,000
Yeah, I'll take a number five and a Coke.

437
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:45,000
Yeah.

438
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:48,000
I thought burger closet was a great idea, but no.

439
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:56,000
Honestly, some of the best burgers I have ever ate have come out of small on the road joints.

440
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:59,000
Town Topic, most famously around Kansas City.

441
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:02,000
Yes, yes, Town Topic.

442
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,000
Yes, there's other places too.

443
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:06,000
But you go around to different towns.

444
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:10,000
There's a place down in Bolliver, Missouri.

445
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:12,000
Oh my God.

446
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:17,000
I mean, it's just a cafe in town.

447
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,000
You go around to different cafes.

448
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:21,000
It's a similar bestie.

449
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:22,000
Oh, Swoaps.

450
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:23,000
There it is.

451
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:24,000
Swoaps in Rich Hill.

452
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:26,000
Have you been there?

453
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:27,000
Where?

454
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:31,000
Swoaps, drive-in in Rich Hill.

455
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:32,000
No.

456
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:35,000
The White Grill in Nevada.

457
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,000
Yes, I've been there.

458
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,000
Yeah, I mean, all of them.

459
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:40,000
Fantastic burgers.

460
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:41,000
Fantastic burgers.

461
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:45,000
Over in Fort Scott, Kansas, just across from...

462
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,000
Oh, go ahead.

463
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:50,000
There is a place called the New Grill.

464
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:51,000
Yes, yeah.

465
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:52,000
They are excellent.

466
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:53,000
I love them.

467
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:54,000
Awesome.

468
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:55,000
Yeah.

469
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:56,000
Yep.

470
00:30:56,000 --> 00:31:00,000
Yeah, like you said, the place in Bolliver.

471
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,000
There's one in Stockton.

472
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:05,000
There's one in Clinton.

473
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,000
Little burger joints are the best place.

474
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,000
Yeah.

475
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:11,000
Clinton, Missouri, there's a little white shack.

476
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:14,000
And they have a lot of dairy stuff there too.

477
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,000
They have a lot of ice cream stuff.

478
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:20,000
I think they might have been at Tasty Freeze back in the day.

479
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:23,000
Yes, I know what you're talking about.

480
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,000
I don't really know about that.

481
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:27,000
They get the best tomatoes.

482
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,000
I think they're homegrown around there somewhere.

483
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,000
And the onions are sweet.

484
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:32,000
Oh, man.

485
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:33,000
Oh, yeah.

486
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:36,000
And that grill had been around since the 40s.

487
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:40,000
So, anyhow, it has all that seasoning in it.

488
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:45,000
Yeah, I've traveled through there many, many years up and down that rock.

489
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,000
Yeah, yeah, that's good eating there.

490
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:52,000
As a matter of fact, I would like to do a tour of that.

491
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:57,000
And you might film it and YouTube it or something if you wanted to.

492
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:59,000
But if not, just personally do it.

493
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:05,000
Go around and check out all these little shacks and check out the burgers there.

494
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:09,000
Yeah, that's good eating.

495
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:11,000
That is an idea right there.

496
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,000
And I know quite a few in Mountain Kansas, too.

497
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:22,000
So, anyhow, so next moving on here, salad hatch.

498
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:23,000
What?

499
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:27,000
Salad hatch.

500
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:30,000
I don't know what to think of it.

501
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,000
I mean, is it a hatchback car?

502
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:35,000
Is it like a little hatch that you serve the salads out of?

503
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:43,000
Or do they walk in and there's salad in a hatch looking thing and people just grab tongs and grab the salad, throw it on a plate and go?

504
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:47,000
Yeah, so you just threw me totally off on that one.

505
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:48,000
That's what it was meant to do.

506
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,000
I don't know what way to go about it.

507
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:53,000
That was one of the ones that were meant to be so odd that you don't laugh.

508
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,000
You just go, salad hatch?

509
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:56,000
Why?

510
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:57,000
Why?

511
00:32:57,000 --> 00:33:02,000
In case you haven't noticed, I like to throw little shit like that in there.

512
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:03,000
The head turner.

513
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:07,000
The RCA Victor for a second and go, huh?

514
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:09,000
Salad hatch?

515
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:12,000
So, anyhow, next one.

516
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:15,000
Fish sticks on a stick.

517
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,000
Did not do well.

518
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:21,000
Cannot believe it.

519
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:24,000
Fish sticks on a stick, man.

520
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:27,000
Grab your stick with a fish stick on it and just start chewing around it.

521
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,000
Life could not be better.

522
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:38,000
I can understand the concept, but once you've got that popsicle stick in, heck with the stick, there wouldn't be much fish left.

523
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,000
I can see it right now.

524
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:44,000
Rob, you and I sitting on a giant rock.

525
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,000
It's a good concept.

526
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,000
Here, here, let me pose this to you.

527
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:52,000
Truman Lake near Ksinger Bluff, right?

528
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,000
Okay?

529
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,000
There's huge rocks down there at the bottom.

530
00:33:56,000 --> 00:34:04,000
You and me with nothing but booty shorts on, sitting on those rocks with wind running through our hair eating fish sticks on a stick.

531
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,000
That could be their promo.

532
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:12,000
Two douchebags in a microphone love fish sticks on a stick.

533
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:18,000
And we could even do something like do like a little ass up eating our fish sticks.

534
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:19,000
Don't you think?

535
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,000
I love the idea.

536
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,000
What could possibly go wrong with that, Rob?

537
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:26,000
I know.

538
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:28,000
We're going to get into that in a minute.

539
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:34,000
I just got a few more and then we get to Rob's story.

540
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,000
I can't believe, anyhow.

541
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:37,000
Okay.

542
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,000
The next one, I really love this idea.

543
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:42,000
The whisker biscuit.

544
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:45,000
You know, you can't see we have the big biscuit.

545
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:49,000
This is the whisker biscuit.

546
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:53,000
I know it's code for something else.

547
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,000
So I don't know.

548
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:58,000
You know, is that what it is?

549
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:01,000
Or is it actually a hairy biscuit that you get?

550
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,000
I don't know.

551
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:07,000
I don't want to go in and find out.

552
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:13,000
And if it is a whisker biscuit, who the hell is it attached to?

553
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:15,000
So are they replicas?

554
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:17,000
I don't know.

555
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:21,000
Anyhow, it didn't work so there's not going to be a whisker biscuit in every corner.

556
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:22,000
I'm sorry, guys.

557
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:23,000
Sorry.

558
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:24,000
Thank you.

559
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,000
Hey, look, I don't make the rules.

560
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,000
I just follow them like you guys.

561
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:29,000
Okay?

562
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:31,000
So, the next one.

563
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:36,000
I'm sorry I laughed all the way through that one.

564
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:37,000
It's okay.

565
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:38,000
It's alright.

566
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,000
That was just a word.

567
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:41,000
The next one.

568
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:45,000
Head cheese queen.

569
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:47,000
There's Daring Queen, right?

570
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:48,000
Well, head cheese.

571
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:49,000
Oh, yeah.

572
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:54,000
What could go wrong with that?

573
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:55,000
No?

574
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:56,000
No?

575
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:57,000
Okay.

576
00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:58,000
Alright.

577
00:35:58,000 --> 00:35:59,000
You know what?

578
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:00,000
I got to...

579
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:01,000
Hang on.

580
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:06,000
Let me mark this so I can put in the Price is Right losing sound right after that.

581
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:09,000
Because that's the sound you made without saying anything, Rob.

582
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:12,000
You made that sound without saying a word.

583
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:17,000
That's what that was.

584
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,000
And you didn't have to say it.

585
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:22,000
I heard it.

586
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:23,000
This next one.

587
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:24,000
Now, don't get...

588
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:25,000
Now, this next one.

589
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:26,000
Don't get angry.

590
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:27,000
Don't get angry.

591
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:28,000
Kale and More.

592
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:29,000
Well, it didn't work.

593
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:30,000
It didn't go.

594
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:31,000
There's not going to be one in every corner.

595
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:32,000
Yes.

596
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:33,000
So...

597
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:34,000
We must be reaching out to people.

598
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:42,000
Thank you, Lord.

599
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:43,000
Yes.

600
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:46,000
It did not do well at all in testing.

601
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:47,000
So...

602
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:50,000
We are true kale activists.

603
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:51,000
Yes.

604
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:52,000
Against them.

605
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:53,000
Against kale.

606
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:54,000
Yes.

607
00:36:54,000 --> 00:37:00,000
And then the next one and the final one that failed.

608
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:04,000
Sardine World.

609
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,000
Yes, I think I thought that one too.

610
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:07,000
Well, yes.

611
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:10,000
People aren't that crazy about sardines, I guess.

612
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:12,000
That goes for the anchovies.

613
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:13,000
Yes.

614
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:16,000
They are about the same thing.

615
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:17,000
Yes.

616
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:18,000
Yes.

617
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:21,000
So, Sardine World flopped too.

618
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:23,000
So, I don't know what to say.

619
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:26,000
I'm just as disappointed as the next guy.

620
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:29,000
But you will not have a Sardine World next to a McDonald's

621
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:32,000
Burger King in every corner.

622
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:33,000
Or a Wendy's.

623
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:34,000
Or whatever.

624
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,000
Or a Scronic.

625
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:37,000
So...

626
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:43,000
Anyhow, that is the list that we got from Mr. Z from the fast food side.

627
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:44,000
That's funny.

628
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:47,000
You still call it Scronic like I do.

629
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:49,000
Everybody does.

630
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:50,000
Because I'll tell you what.

631
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:56,000
You are at the mercy of these drug addicts that they have to find to work there.

632
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,000
Yes.

633
00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:59,000
Or at least it seems like it.

634
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:02,000
I know not all of them are drug addicts, but I'll tell you what.

635
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:05,000
I've seen some people walking out of there and I'm like,

636
00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:11,000
I cannot believe I just ate a cheeseburger that that guy flipped.

637
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:12,000
Sorry, not sorry.

638
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:19,000
I have to admit, the Scronic down here in Campton is actually pretty decent.

639
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:22,000
If you get a good Sonic, it's good food.

640
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:24,000
But you get a bad one like a...

641
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:28,000
It does stay away from the one it built my hometown.

642
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:30,000
Aha.

643
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:31,000
Yeah.

644
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,000
Yes, yes, yes.

645
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:35,000
You've heard about it too?

646
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:36,000
I witnessed it.

647
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:37,000
I witnessed it.

648
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:38,000
Oh, you did?

649
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:41,000
Just trying to get a cherry limeade.

650
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:42,000
Yeah.

651
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:43,000
Yeah.

652
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:44,000
Yeah.

653
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,000
I think I would have to agree with you on that.

654
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:48,000
Allegedly.

655
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:49,000
Yeah.

656
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:50,000
Allegedly.

657
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:51,000
I don't know.

658
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:53,000
I was just told about it.

659
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:55,000
But that's the Sonic I grew up going to.

660
00:38:55,000 --> 00:39:02,000
I was just trying to get a cherry limeade and it didn't go over very well.

661
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,000
I'll just leave it at that.

662
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,000
Yeah, I'll just leave it at that.

663
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:12,000
Yeah, I could see why someone could discourage people from going in there.

664
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:14,000
That's why I'm here.

665
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:15,000
Yeah.

666
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:18,000
Yep.

667
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:20,000
Anyhow, you seem to...

668
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:28,000
Hang on, let's take a little break here and we're going to come back with Rob's story about

669
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,000
Ganja, his fan.

670
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:39,000
We'll be back right after this.

671
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:43,000
Two monkey fuckers and a toaster will be right back.

672
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:49,000
Continuing our quest here at Two Douchebags in a Microphone to be constantly funny.

673
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:56,000
Once again, we offer you strange insults from an alien.

674
00:39:56,000 --> 00:40:01,000
When you all see it from your computer, your head goes so attached.

675
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:09,000
Two Douchebags in a Microphone, the number one show for people that lie about their favorite podcast.

676
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:13,000
As pleasant as 50 grit sandpaper to your inner thighs.

677
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:21,000
Okay, sorry I have to shush you on that.

678
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:30,000
Okay, the reason is I need these breaks in the voice patterns so I can find these to cut the audio in two

679
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:33,000
and to insert different things that we put in there.

680
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:37,000
Like Satan telling you he burned a bunch of souls listening to us.

681
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:43,000
And the amazing Mark the poem reader and all this shit.

682
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:46,000
The voice guy telling you how to smell us at the city market.

683
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:49,000
And the Amber Heard alert and all that good shit.

684
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:56,000
So, or strange insults from an alien or the island of horrible jokes, which I'm a big fan of.

685
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:57,000
I like them both.

686
00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:01,000
And then all the other ones, the ones that tell you that we're pasteurized for your protection

687
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:05,000
or we're as much fun as a can opener to the scrotum and all that.

688
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:07,000
I like that one.

689
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:13,000
But that's why I said, you know, whenever I break us off like that, just don't say anything

690
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:15,000
because I need that gap there.

691
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:21,000
Because if not, you know what, I'll show you everything and how it works when you and I meet up in person.

692
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:24,000
So you'll see what I mean, why it's important to do that.

693
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:31,000
But anyhow, Ganja, your biggest fan, got a hold of you and did what?

694
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:35,000
Oh, not me. Me and him are good.

695
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:36,000
OK.

696
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:38,000
But I have another update.

697
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,000
OK.

698
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:43,000
I got another picture.

699
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:51,000
From Eric in Oceanside, California.

700
00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:58,000
I'm sorry, Rob.

701
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:01,000
Yep. Yep. Yep.

702
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:03,000
Eric, thank you.

703
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:09,000
Is it Ass Up Face?

704
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:11,000
Exactly.

705
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:14,000
You guys are awesome. I love you guys. Thank you.

706
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:17,000
They have to have listened.

707
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:20,000
Yeah, you cannot make this up.

708
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:28,000
We, for some reason, have quite a... we have a hell of a fan base.

709
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:32,000
I'll send you the pictures if you want me to.

710
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:36,000
The hits that we get from certain areas are unreal.

711
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:40,000
Like the people who found out about us and started taking a note in us and listening to us

712
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:43,000
can't seem to put the program down, which is awesome.

713
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:50,000
I mean, I'm really overwhelmed by the response by areas.

714
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:53,000
And like I said, we went over them all.

715
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:59,000
And we'll do it again in another few months, do a State of the Douchebags podcast.

716
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:02,000
Yeah, see where we're at.

717
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:05,000
Yeah, I mean, pretty much the same areas that I've been talking about.

718
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:08,000
And California's become a hotbed here, too.

719
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:10,000
But it's like it's spread out all over.

720
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:14,000
In California, it's not SoCal or NoCal or MiddleCal.

721
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,000
It's all over the place.

722
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,000
People out there seem to really enjoy the program.

723
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:21,000
So this Eric guy from Oceanside...

724
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,000
Eric comes from Oceanside.

725
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,000
Excellent. Thank you, Eric.

726
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:26,000
Thank you, Eric.

727
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:31,000
Yes, you're a good man for sending Rob the asshole pictures. That's great.

728
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:35,000
And that'd be great to get into the hairy asshole Olympics here in a minute.

729
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:37,000
But anything else you want to say about it?

730
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:39,000
Oh, that's going to be fun.

731
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:40,000
Oh, yeah, yeah.

732
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:43,000
Well, this is the Olympics. This is the big boys now.

733
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:47,000
So this is like we're going to have one definite winner.

734
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:50,000
I'm going to have my class. You're going to have your class.

735
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:52,000
And then they're going to fight to the death.

736
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:55,000
And then only one victor will live.

737
00:43:55,000 --> 00:44:00,000
And I guess we've got to have a silver and a bronze.

738
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:05,000
So three people will be victorious.

739
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:11,000
And everyone else will not survive the asshole Olympics.

740
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:12,000
So...

741
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:15,000
Okay. Well, we need to talk about this.

742
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:19,000
Okay. You know what? First, let's go into your acoustical.

743
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:22,000
Okay? And then we'll go to the asshole Olympics here in a little bit.

744
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:25,000
Oh, you want to go there?

745
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:28,000
Yes, if you're ready to.

746
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:33,000
Well, why don't you flap that shit out on the table and go forth?

747
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:34,000
It's out.

748
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:36,000
You want to make the introduction.

749
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:41,000
All right. Without any further ado, Rob is flopping it on the table.

750
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,000
Oh, my God. Look at that.

751
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:47,000
Whoo! That's a doozy.

752
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:51,000
Rob and his acoustical top.

753
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:54,000
How many did you come up with?

754
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:57,000
I came up with seven. It was supposed to be five.

755
00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:58,000
That's fine.

756
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,000
You mentioned you might go up to eight.

757
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:03,000
I think I'm going to do 30. I'm going to be a dick.

758
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:06,000
Honestly, I could have. I very well could have.

759
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:13,000
All right. Let's go with a seven and I'll narrow mine down to a seven, okay?

760
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:14,000
Okay. My number says...

761
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:17,000
I'm going to copy yours and only do them backwards.

762
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:21,000
I took from you last week.

763
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:23,000
Okay.

764
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:27,000
You turned me over now by Allison James.

765
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:29,000
That is a fucking fantastic song.

766
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:38,000
I listened to it. Unfortunately, my top five was already filled.

767
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:39,000
You made number seven.

768
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:42,000
That might be my number one. I'm not for sure yet.

769
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:48,000
I'll tell you what. That song is crafted just magnificently.

770
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:52,000
Oh, dude. I'm all over the map here.

771
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:56,000
I used to do that song when the Chiefs were losing the Super Bowl, not at the Super Bowl,

772
00:45:56,000 --> 00:46:04,000
in the playoffs when we didn't have the homes, but we had Alex Smith or whoever, Matt Castle or whatever.

773
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:09,000
We'd lose in the playoffs constantly to Peyton Manning and people like that.

774
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:14,000
I'd always go to the internet and put, it's over now and not say anything.

775
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:24,000
It used to piss people off because the song starts off, well, it's over now.

776
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:29,000
People got it. So anyhow, but go ahead.

777
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:41,000
Okay. Well, my number six, which was my number one word of mention.

778
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:47,000
Saved Today by Seether.

779
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:50,000
I think I know what song you're talking about.

780
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:51,000
It is.

781
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:55,000
It is. Rob, that is solid, solid.

782
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:59,000
Trust me. I've been listening to a lot of music, man.

783
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:03,000
Okay. That is well received over here, Rob.

784
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:06,000
Wait, wait, wait, wait till we go deeper.

785
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:08,000
Okay. All right.

786
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:11,000
Into other subjects.

787
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:12,000
Okay.

788
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:16,000
Okay. Number five.

789
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:18,000
The actual pop five.

790
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:20,000
Okay.

791
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:26,000
Those two, seven bridges were by the Eagles.

792
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:29,000
Wow.

793
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:30,000
Because I was.

794
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:31,000
Robbo.

795
00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:33,000
Because.

796
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:35,000
Okay, here real quick. Let me say this.

797
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:44,000
Because music was making a transition from the 50s and 50s where there was a lot of acoustic.

798
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:45,000
Yes.

799
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:48,000
Into electric.

800
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:55,000
I believe seven bridges road helped transition that over.

801
00:47:55,000 --> 00:48:02,000
Because the more I listen to the music, the more artistic I hear in it.

802
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:05,000
They were one. Yes, absolutely.

803
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:08,000
And seven bridges road is just an awesome song.

804
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:10,000
Think of the lineup that they had on there.

805
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:16,000
I mean, through the people, whether they were all there at one time or not, I can't even remember.

806
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:23,000
You had Joe Walsh. You had Vince Gill. You had Don Henley.

807
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:25,000
Glenn Fry.

808
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:27,000
Glenn Fry.

809
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:32,000
You had, oh, heavy metal soundtrack guy.

810
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:34,000
Don Felger.

811
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:35,000
Don Felger.

812
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:36,000
Yes.

813
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:37,000
There's more.

814
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:45,000
The lineup of those people in the Eagles, whether they all did it at once or not, I know one replaced another and all that stuff.

815
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:48,000
But just look at the talent surrounding that band.

816
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:57,000
And one of the greatest albums, in my opinion, ever made was Hotel California, specifically the song Hotel California.

817
00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:58,000
Yes.

818
00:48:58,000 --> 00:48:59,000
The song Hotel California.

819
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:03,000
Don Henley, you can hear the concern in his voice when he sings.

820
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:06,000
It's insane the way he sings.

821
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:14,000
I mean, he's like singing to almost like live, trying to get out of this place that he's talking about.

822
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:24,000
Whether he's talking about the First Church of Satan or wherever he's talking about, he is concerned, he got himself in somewhere that he's not sure if he's going to get himself out.

823
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:32,000
And it comes through the speakers exactly like that. And it's brilliant. And the music behind it is brilliant.

824
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:39,000
And that song almost took this place. That song almost took my nose.

825
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:40,000
I see why you went with that.

826
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:42,000
But I went with Seven Bridges.

827
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:46,000
I see why you went with Seven Bridges because it kind of illustrates what you're saying.

828
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:51,000
Just a little bit more precisely than Hotel California.

829
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:58,000
And also another thing is Hotel California should be, maybe should be on the list, in my opinion.

830
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:02,000
But the thing is, you didn't go the easy route. You didn't take the safe route.

831
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:07,000
You took the route that you really felt should have been taken. And bravo. Great.

832
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:10,000
This is why I wanted to do the list, Rob. Perfect.

833
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:12,000
Yeah, just wait.

834
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,000
Okay.

835
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:17,000
Okay. Are you ready for number four?

836
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:19,000
Yes.

837
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:30,000
Okay. Like I said, Mark, I have always been into the stuff we always listen to.

838
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:37,000
Thanks to this podcast, I'm listening to new music.

839
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:38,000
Good.

840
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:41,000
I have mentioned Zach Wilde.

841
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:45,000
Uh-huh. Listen, art spawns art.

842
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:53,000
My number four is Zach Wilde between Heaven and Hell.

843
00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:58,000
All I can say is just listen to it.

844
00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:01,000
Okay. I will. I believe I do know the song.

845
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:07,000
It is. It's amazing. Zach Wilde is amazing on acoustic.

846
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:11,000
I will state this again. I've stated it before.

847
00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:15,000
If you don't think that Zach Wilde is one of the best guitarists ever,

848
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:18,000
you simply have not listened to him well enough.

849
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:22,000
That guy is insanely good in everything that he does.

850
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:31,000
Whether it's gimmick-like or actual feeling of music or the actual writing of the music,

851
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:41,000
everything is spot on because that guy really believes and throws it out there like he should.

852
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:48,000
So, Nuno Bettencourt is another one. We actually have two.

853
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:56,000
We actually have two of the best musicians ever on guitar at the same time.

854
00:51:56,000 --> 00:52:02,000
We have three, but Eddie died. So, Nuno Bettencourt and Zach Wilde.

855
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:06,000
So, anyhow, go ahead.

856
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:11,000
Oh, I was just going to say, yeah, he is amazing. He really is.

857
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:16,000
Yes, would agree.

858
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:23,000
Number three, Patience by Guns N' Roses.

859
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:26,000
Solid, solid, solid.

860
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:31,000
Because when that song came out, it changed the face of music again.

861
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:35,000
Guns N' Roses changed the face of music because we all were wearing our hair up

862
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:40,000
and listening to Motley Crue and Poison and then just all the latest stuff that came up

863
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:45,000
with anyone with big boots and long hair and hair that stood up was doing.

864
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:50,000
And all of a sudden Guns N' Roses came up and said, nah.

865
00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:53,000
It was right at that.

866
00:52:53,000 --> 00:53:05,000
What they're missing out on me is their writing ability with Izzy Stradlin and Slash.

867
00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:10,000
Izzy Stradlin and Slash had a formula down, kind of like the Stones did.

868
00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:17,000
You got one guy over there kind of bumping and chirping and it made sense when it was played together,

869
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:21,000
it made sense away from each other.

870
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:23,000
And it was brilliant.

871
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:29,000
And then you had Axl who actually, I read, has like a six octave voice or something.

872
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:32,000
You'd never know it.

873
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:35,000
If that is indeed true, I'll have to look that up.

874
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:38,000
Or you know what, everybody has Google out there looking up.

875
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:41,000
So anyhow, I agree.

876
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:49,000
And it was really good because I believe it was a song to, I don't think it was Aaron Everly, his wife, his ex-wife.

877
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:51,000
I think it was to another girl.

878
00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:53,000
But anyhow, very emotional.

879
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:54,000
Who knows.

880
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:55,000
Yeah, who knows.

881
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:57,000
So anyhow.

882
00:53:57,000 --> 00:54:01,000
Okay, go ahead.

883
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:08,000
Okay, number two goes to Mr. Jimmy Page of Red Scepter.

884
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:12,000
I can't argue.

885
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:13,000
Yeah.

886
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:15,000
You should have known that was coming.

887
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:19,000
I was just reading an article about how Paul Stanley pretty much worships Jimmy Page.

888
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:28,000
He said, you know, me, I was a big Jimmy Page fan, but now looking back at it, I think I'm more of a Jeff Beck fan,

889
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:30,000
although I love Jimmy Page's music.

890
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:34,000
The stuff that he came up with, let me restate this.

891
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:36,000
I'm a fan of both of theirs.

892
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:40,000
And they're both groundbreaking, influential guitars.

893
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:47,000
But technically and feeling wise and everything, I think, you know what, I don't know.

894
00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:48,000
Jimmy Page is awesome.

895
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:50,000
You can't go wrong with that.

896
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,000
Cannot go wrong with that.

897
00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:54,000
So that's a solid number two.

898
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:59,000
This is the first of many Jeff Beck may come out of my mouth, too.

899
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:00,000
You never know.

900
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:05,000
Well, I've got a definite Jeff Beck song that I have in mind that might be number one.

901
00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:07,000
I bet you do.

902
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:08,000
I bet you do.

903
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:10,000
And he floored me on this song.

904
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:17,000
I mean, he floored me on a lot of stuff, but this song right here in particular, the feeling, the genre,

905
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:20,000
the genre that he did to achieve this.

906
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:21,000
Yes.

907
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:24,000
Anyhow, go ahead.

908
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:27,000
Oh, no, you just mentioned genre.

909
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:33,000
That's winning a lot of my contests I'm coming up with.

910
00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:39,000
You know what, this might be my number one, but it's on the top seven is People Get Ready.

911
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:42,000
It's actually by the title is by Rod Stewart.

912
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:47,000
But Jeff Beck wrote the guitar parts.

913
00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:51,000
And if you don't know the song, go get and know it.

914
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:54,000
People Get Ready, Rod Stewart.

915
00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:59,000
And the thing about this is it's gospel.

916
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:01,000
It's really good gospel.

917
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:03,000
But it's acoustic.

918
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:04,000
It's electric, acoustic.

919
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:06,000
It's beautiful.

920
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:10,000
When you get a chance, Rob, your assignment is to listen to this.

921
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:16,000
And I want to report on this song and how it made you feel on the next broadcast.

922
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:20,000
Cool.

923
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:21,000
Text me the name.

924
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:23,000
I will after the program.

925
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:26,000
That way I don't have to wait for it to come out.

926
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:32,000
I might even have an ass up face first picture for you, too.

927
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:33,000
Not really.

928
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:35,000
Well, you got two ahead, have you?

929
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:38,000
Well, I mean, you might throw me an ass in the Olympics if I do that.

930
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:41,000
So I'm not going to do that.

931
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:43,000
Oh, no, you were lost.

932
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:46,000
We'll go into that in a minute.

933
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:49,000
Are you ready for my number one acoustic?

934
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:50,000
Yes, I am.

935
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:52,000
Bring forth.

936
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:57,000
OK, I mentioned this one on a podcast a while back.

937
00:56:57,000 --> 00:56:58,000
OK.

938
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:01,000
There was one I caught on YouTube.

939
00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:03,000
OK.

940
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:12,000
Which this version of the song you need to watch on YouTube.

941
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:13,000
OK.

942
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:27,000
It goes to stained featuring Ferris Bust from outside on the Family Values Tour 1999.

943
00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:28,000
OK.

944
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:29,000
I'll tell you what.

945
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:35,000
You text me that song after the podcast and I will text you my song after the podcast.

946
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:36,000
You got it.

947
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:39,000
And I'll give you a full report and you give me a full report.

948
00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:45,000
My number one acoustic goes to Aaron Lewis of Stained.

949
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:46,000
Uh-huh.

950
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:47,000
I like Aaron Lewis.

951
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:48,000
From outside.

952
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:50,000
I'm on the outside.

953
00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:51,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

954
00:57:51,000 --> 00:58:00,000
When you watch the video, this video, it's showing the Family Values Tour concert.

955
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:03,000
That's why Fred does deserve it.

956
00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:07,000
Actually, I think I might have listened to that.

957
00:58:07,000 --> 00:58:10,000
I'm going to have to re-listen to it.

958
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:13,000
And you asked me about the plugged in.

959
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:14,000
Uh-huh.

960
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:17,000
His acoustic is plugged in.

961
00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:19,000
No, that's fine.

962
00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:20,000
I'm not acoustic.

963
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:23,000
I mean, acoustic plugged in is fine.

964
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:25,000
There's nothing wrong with it.

965
00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:34,000
But when you watch his video, he plays this song in this video with so much emotion.

966
00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:35,000
OK.

967
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:38,000
It's, oh my god, man.

968
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:43,000
I felt like, like I said, I missed it a little bit.

969
00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:47,000
And we got to doing this and it popped up again.

970
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:49,000
I was like, that's it.

971
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:51,000
So there you go.

972
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:53,000
Very cool.

973
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:54,000
All right.

974
00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:55,000
Hang on.

975
00:58:55,000 --> 00:59:01,000
I got to jot down something here because this just jarred my memory about something.

976
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:10,000
I added to my list just right now.

977
00:59:10,000 --> 00:59:12,000
Uh-oh.

978
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:15,000
Yeah, this is a good one.

979
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:20,000
All right.

980
00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:22,000
Save it for next week.

981
00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:24,000
I will.

982
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:29,000
OK.

983
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:31,000
All right.

984
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:32,000
I'm done with writing it down.

985
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:35,000
But for some reason, it's really not related at all.

986
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:38,000
It just made me think of it for some reason.

987
00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:43,000
So anyway, I wrote it down and that will, that might actually enter the top three.

988
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:44,000
Yeah.

989
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:45,000
It's acoustic.

990
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:46,000
Yes.

991
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:47,000
It's electric acoustic.

992
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:48,000
OK.

993
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:58,000
Two thimble dicks and a crash cart will be right back.

994
00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:01,000
You are in a constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

995
01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:04,000
It's strange insults from an alien.

996
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:06,000
Real hilarity.

997
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:15,000
May your spoon always slip and sink into your hot soup.

998
01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:23,000
Two douchebags and a microphone says, you ever dream about eating chocolate pudding and wake up with a spoon in your ass?

999
01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:25,000
Just asking.

1000
01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:30,000
If you enjoy two douchebags and a microphone, you'll definitely enjoy a shovel to the head.

1001
01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:31,000
You know what?

1002
01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:33,000
Hey, thanks for joining us.

1003
01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:34,000
Wee, yeah.

1004
01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:35,000
Yeah.

1005
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:36,000
OK.

1006
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:42,000
Anyhow, as promised, the asshole hair Olympics.

1007
01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:47,000
Now, do you want to start with yours or do you want me to start with mine?

1008
01:00:47,000 --> 01:00:50,000
Well, first, I have a question.

1009
01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:51,000
OK.

1010
01:00:51,000 --> 01:00:53,000
We've got to write these down because this is a battle royal.

1011
01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:58,480
Royale this is the Olympics that okay well how many people we get a lot of

1012
01:00:58,480 --> 01:01:19,120
enter I have 17 people okay mark I I had today off and I went back through every

1013
01:01:19,120 --> 01:01:34,080
single hair ass off okay I have I have two you have one two three four five six

1014
01:01:34,080 --> 01:01:43,240
seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen seventeen

1015
01:01:43,240 --> 01:01:52,480
okay all right well I have a good good all right

1016
01:01:52,480 --> 01:02:01,880
cousin is definitely out yep you have brought up her cousins twice oh I have

1017
01:02:01,880 --> 01:02:07,000
okay and he lost both of them okay well I guess he doesn't have a hairy asshole

1018
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:20,680
then does he at least I'm consistent yeah okay all right okay those that have

1019
01:02:20,680 --> 01:02:27,360
already been done you're too and these 17 will be in okay all right are you got

1020
01:02:27,360 --> 01:02:36,080
17 more I have 17 more okay I got four I got four battles okay we'll start with

1021
01:02:36,080 --> 01:02:42,400
your four battles and we'll go into my 17 okay I'm also making sure nobody gets

1022
01:02:42,400 --> 01:02:50,760
stupid okay good okay my number one tonight

1023
01:02:50,920 --> 01:02:58,360
and I thought of all four of these at work okay oh excuse me five oh five oh

1024
01:02:58,360 --> 01:03:14,640
the more the merrier father strife this is why is the man oh oh Jewish woman old

1025
01:03:14,640 --> 01:03:19,720
Italian woman mmm

1026
01:03:19,720 --> 01:03:31,000
I'm under the slight edge to Liza Minnelli that's who I had to okay all

1027
01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:36,960
right so I don't live lies the winds all right

1028
01:03:36,960 --> 01:03:51,280
okay you're a for the next one yes he will be Herman versus boy George oh I'm

1029
01:03:51,280 --> 01:03:54,880
gonna go with boy George

1030
01:03:54,880 --> 01:04:11,640
who do you pick I pick TV TV because you know why yeah he would he would yeah he

1031
01:04:11,640 --> 01:04:15,520
take that shit down to nothing he would be fat to sell like that

1032
01:04:15,520 --> 01:04:37,360
yeah all right next okay George Carlin oh yeah Sam Kenison oh I'm gonna say Sam

1033
01:04:37,360 --> 01:04:41,440
Kenison because I think George Carlin was really well they were both

1034
01:04:41,440 --> 01:04:46,480
intelligent and are both quick witted I'm gonna go with George Carlin no Sam

1035
01:04:46,480 --> 01:04:51,880
Kenison I think that he had long hair and was kind of scruffy and he probably

1036
01:04:51,880 --> 01:04:55,120
didn't give a shit if he had ass hair hanging out everywhere I think George

1037
01:04:55,120 --> 01:05:01,720
Carlin would have kept that trim down and mowed down good okay well see I was

1038
01:05:01,720 --> 01:05:08,520
thinking George Carlin because he was old and do it he didn't care about his shit

1039
01:05:08,520 --> 01:05:21,720
he was like go out everywhere okay okay we'll go with George Carlin but we do

1040
01:05:21,720 --> 01:05:28,080
have one toss up by the way oh I'll tell you what I'm gonna go with George Carlin

1041
01:05:28,080 --> 01:05:35,240
for now but like if we like really stick on this later we can do a coin toss

1042
01:05:35,240 --> 01:05:42,520
gotcha or you want to do a coin toss right now you got a coin around oh we'll

1043
01:05:42,520 --> 01:05:50,760
go with George next one George all right gotcha yeah okay

1044
01:05:50,760 --> 01:06:03,880
to do Castro okay or Pablo Escobar Escobar because he's in prison

1045
01:06:05,600 --> 01:06:14,920
I'm thinking Castro you think so yeah all right that deserves a coin toss let

1046
01:06:14,920 --> 01:06:24,880
me find a coin real quick all right okay here's one heads or tails

1047
01:06:24,880 --> 01:06:27,880
heads

1048
01:06:29,880 --> 01:06:40,360
oh shit I just started my table going up what did you say heads yeah Castro it is

1049
01:06:40,360 --> 01:06:46,040
faster all right okay next one

1050
01:06:49,440 --> 01:06:58,680
you're gonna want this one okay Travis Kelsey or Jason Kelsey Jason

1051
01:06:58,680 --> 01:07:08,120
Kelsey amen brother all right that's a right thing yeah he's just hairier he's got

1052
01:07:08,120 --> 01:07:14,200
thicker eyebrows all that full beard yeah that's what yeah that was kind of

1053
01:07:14,200 --> 01:07:17,880
easy you know that's like fucking coming out of the jockstrap and looking like

1054
01:07:17,880 --> 01:07:26,280
fucking dreadlocks or something so all right I've got some interesting ones

1055
01:07:26,280 --> 01:07:34,240
my first one on the docket Ryan Seacrest versus Simon Cowell

1056
01:07:34,240 --> 01:07:41,920
oh I'm going with Simon Cowell and here's why science Ryan Seacrest is a

1057
01:07:41,920 --> 01:07:48,860
pretty boy with a great haircut and all dressed nice well-spoken big radio guy

1058
01:07:48,860 --> 01:07:54,840
big he's gonna take over Pat Sajak's gig next year I think his ass hairs are

1059
01:07:54,840 --> 01:08:02,240
trimmed perfectly manicured beautiful ass hairs this way in the wind and sing I

1060
01:08:02,240 --> 01:08:13,440
think I gotta go with you on that one all right so Simon Cowell all right next

1061
01:08:13,440 --> 01:08:18,160
one Angus Young versus Billy Gibbons

1062
01:08:21,080 --> 01:08:28,920
yeah yeah that's a fucking mind eraser in it I'm going with Billy Gibbons

1063
01:08:28,920 --> 01:08:39,200
because of the beard sorry Billy love you but your ass hair is a great game

1064
01:08:39,200 --> 01:08:43,320
you know I could see Billy Gibbons actually going on really well in this

1065
01:08:43,320 --> 01:08:50,280
one I can see him maybe yeah me too me too all right next one I have bands

1066
01:08:50,280 --> 01:09:03,240
against each other guns and roses versus yes G&R versus I did this why not

1067
01:09:03,240 --> 01:09:13,760
G&R versus death why not why not it's our fucking contest I'm going with G&R

1068
01:09:13,760 --> 01:09:21,720
against who against Steph Leppard oh

1069
01:09:27,960 --> 01:09:41,440
yeah I go to G&R too okay G&R yeah G&R it is yeah I'm writing down to you yeah me

1070
01:09:41,440 --> 01:09:49,120
too next one Rihanna versus Mariah Carey

1071
01:09:51,000 --> 01:09:58,440
Rihanna Rihanna Rihanna versus Mariah Carey

1072
01:10:00,840 --> 01:10:05,360
I'm having a tough time I think maybe Rihanna

1073
01:10:05,360 --> 01:10:07,360
oh

1074
01:10:10,400 --> 01:10:19,240
shit for shit the giggles I gotta go Mariah Carey okay all right heads or tails

1075
01:10:20,640 --> 01:10:23,640
tails

1076
01:10:25,160 --> 01:10:35,000
heads Rihanna Rihanna I just wanted to go Mariah Carey because of the shit for

1077
01:10:35,000 --> 01:10:38,000
sure

1078
01:10:40,200 --> 01:10:48,080
oh good enough this I don't care about either one me neither but I thought it'd

1079
01:10:48,080 --> 01:10:54,640
be a fun contest yeah yeah yeah okay next one

1080
01:10:54,640 --> 01:11:03,440
Jen Psaki versus Ron DeSantis you remember who Jen Psaki is no she was

1081
01:11:03,440 --> 01:11:08,200
Joe Biden's original press secretary these go I'll circle back to you and get

1082
01:11:08,200 --> 01:11:12,320
back to you I'll circle back and come back to you she she'd always deflect all

1083
01:11:12,320 --> 01:11:20,320
these questions go I'll circle back and come back later remember her yeah yeah

1084
01:11:20,320 --> 01:11:34,080
her versus Ron DeSantis Ron DeSantis DeSantis all right yeah

1085
01:11:34,080 --> 01:11:42,480
all right next one the more I learn about it yeah he completely ruined his

1086
01:11:42,480 --> 01:11:47,720
whole career I think I oh yeah but anyhow yeah yeah that's for another day

1087
01:11:47,720 --> 01:11:53,000
Kevin Sorbo versus George Stephanopoulos

1088
01:11:53,840 --> 01:11:57,320
oh shit

1089
01:11:59,480 --> 01:12:04,640
I gotta go Stephanopoulos me too me too all right

1090
01:12:04,640 --> 01:12:11,960
Steph and not from Boppalopoulos Kevin you

1091
01:12:11,960 --> 01:12:20,480
I'm trying to write this down real quick man Kevin Sorbo that's a war be oh he

1092
01:12:20,480 --> 01:12:25,400
played what was hurt my vote was my vote was

1093
01:12:25,400 --> 01:12:33,240
Stephanopoulos okay and I that's what mine was too next one Kyle Shanahan

1094
01:12:33,240 --> 01:12:36,360
versus John Gruden

1095
01:12:36,360 --> 01:12:43,800
I'm gonna go with John Gruden

1096
01:12:46,880 --> 01:12:52,480
I think Chuckie has some marvelous red ass hairs some ginger ass hairs that are

1097
01:12:52,480 --> 01:12:57,400
just like pronounced and beautifully like just like roaming around all over

1098
01:12:57,400 --> 01:13:03,880
coming out as whitey-tities and fucking reaching around to each other

1099
01:13:03,880 --> 01:13:10,760
okay I was thinking Shanahan until you said that Gruden got my vote yeah we

1100
01:13:10,760 --> 01:13:16,840
gotta have a ginger in there anyhow right yeah yeah well we got a few oh okay

1101
01:13:16,840 --> 01:13:22,360
well he'll just be another one according to my list according to my list we got a few

1102
01:13:22,360 --> 01:13:28,120
okay we're gonna have to break these down and finalize the finals yeah I've got an

1103
01:13:28,120 --> 01:13:35,440
idea on that we'll talk about it later okay next one is Matt Damon versus

1104
01:13:35,440 --> 01:13:38,280
George Clooney

1105
01:13:38,280 --> 01:13:56,000
ooh I think I may have your back David I'm gonna go with Matt Damon too

1106
01:13:58,600 --> 01:14:05,880
all right yes all right Matt Damon don't know why I just kind of feel that way

1107
01:14:05,880 --> 01:14:12,240
too I don't know why either they're both about the same yeah that's why that's

1108
01:14:12,240 --> 01:14:16,520
why I match some of these like this is because I wanted to not be a clear-cut

1109
01:14:16,520 --> 01:14:22,840
winner I wanted us to argue about it on air so I just think George Clooney would

1110
01:14:22,840 --> 01:14:29,880
wipe an extra time yeah me too I think you're right yep so Matt Damon it is

1111
01:14:29,880 --> 01:14:33,440
and I agree with it I think George Clooney would just have a little bit

1112
01:14:33,440 --> 01:14:38,560
better grip on his ass hairs where Matt Damon just be like who cares man I'm

1113
01:14:38,560 --> 01:14:43,160
drinking a fucking a Scotch and fucking smoking a cigar I don't give a shit

1114
01:14:43,160 --> 01:14:47,680
down my ass here he probably lets it blow in the wind

1115
01:14:49,400 --> 01:14:59,800
so okay next one is Clint Eastwood versus Chuck Norris I've got a clear-cut

1116
01:14:59,800 --> 01:15:11,080
one on this okay I think Clint also and here's why I think that ass hairs are

1117
01:15:11,080 --> 01:15:15,120
afraid of Chuck Norris and would run off

1118
01:15:17,360 --> 01:15:26,960
yeah you know like the old Norris jokes yep I know exactly what you're talking

1119
01:15:26,960 --> 01:15:35,520
about yep yep so next one Elon Musk versus Mark Zuckerberg

1120
01:15:39,120 --> 01:15:42,400
yeah how about that one

1121
01:15:48,720 --> 01:15:52,720
I'm gonna go with the Zuck

1122
01:15:52,720 --> 01:16:05,480
yeah yeah another ginger ass hair yeah we need to put him and Chuckie versus

1123
01:16:05,480 --> 01:16:15,040
each other right yeah that's about it yeah we got good him and Chuckie Chuckie

1124
01:16:15,040 --> 01:16:22,120
Gruden two gingers we'll have the ginger off next one I love Jennifer Lopez versus

1125
01:16:22,120 --> 01:16:24,960
Oprah Winfrey

1126
01:16:32,960 --> 01:16:37,200
I'm going to go with JLo

1127
01:16:37,200 --> 01:16:52,280
yeah yeah I think I don't get JLo on that one too yeah I just think that Oprah would

1128
01:16:52,280 --> 01:17:01,240
like really be anal no pun intended about her anus so yeah I think she has a

1129
01:17:01,240 --> 01:17:10,760
team of 12 people tending to her anus at all times staff staff look at my anus

1130
01:17:10,760 --> 01:17:16,600
anything out of line there no Oprah no no no you did not address me as God I'm

1131
01:17:16,600 --> 01:17:25,880
sorry God I'm sorry hang on here show me the picture of my ass hairs I guess

1132
01:17:25,880 --> 01:17:31,600
that'll pass now be gone all of you then they scatter think it goes like that

1133
01:17:31,600 --> 01:17:42,680
probably oh definitely yep number 12 Morgan Freeman versus Michelle Obama

1134
01:17:42,680 --> 01:18:03,320
easy winner easy winner Michelle okay Michelle Obama okay maybe so well they'll

1135
01:18:03,320 --> 01:18:10,480
battle it off in this next I'm sure highly rated episode coming up

1136
01:18:10,480 --> 01:18:14,720
or no one's gonna listen to their guy this is the one they do the asshole no

1137
01:18:14,720 --> 01:18:28,120
thank you yes we will next one Johnny Depp versus Tom Cruise

1138
01:18:28,120 --> 01:18:41,680
oh damn I I gotta give this one to Johnny Depp yeah me too I think Tom

1139
01:18:41,680 --> 01:18:48,360
Cruise would like be really really really like anal about his ass hairs and

1140
01:18:48,360 --> 01:18:54,160
then I would have like people manicure him kind of like Oprah after winning

1141
01:18:54,160 --> 01:19:02,040
that court case yes thanks his shit don't stink I agree I agree Johnny gets

1142
01:19:02,040 --> 01:19:11,000
it okay Johnny gets it all right here let me

1143
01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:14,000
okay

1144
01:19:14,000 --> 01:19:25,440
this I don't wait for the Saturday talking about people's ass hairs number

1145
01:19:25,440 --> 01:19:32,200
14 oh yeah yeah Alice Cooper versus Ozzy

1146
01:19:32,200 --> 01:19:46,680
I can't hear that one Dallas me too all right

1147
01:19:46,680 --> 01:19:52,200
next one Will Smith versus Bill Clinton

1148
01:19:54,200 --> 01:19:58,440
all right Clinton

1149
01:19:58,440 --> 01:20:03,240
Hillary Clinton

1150
01:20:05,240 --> 01:20:08,240
Hillary

1151
01:20:08,760 --> 01:20:14,440
next one Jackie Chan versus Taylor Swift

1152
01:20:20,640 --> 01:20:24,840
Taylor Taylor

1153
01:20:24,840 --> 01:20:30,560
all right yeah yeah yeah yeah

1154
01:20:30,920 --> 01:20:38,360
all right and then finally number 17 Nick Cage versus Will Ferrell

1155
01:20:40,600 --> 01:20:45,160
I'm gonna go with me oh damn

1156
01:20:46,080 --> 01:20:53,200
can't hold out you really got me thinking on that one yeah that was that

1157
01:20:53,200 --> 01:20:58,080
one's not easy but I'm gonna go with Nicolas Cage

1158
01:21:06,120 --> 01:21:16,560
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah okay so that is my 17 and all right we'll have them

1159
01:21:16,560 --> 01:21:21,360
battle the winners we'll have them battle them out in a future episode not

1160
01:21:21,360 --> 01:21:29,440
responsible for greasy residue left on your blue two douchebags and microphone

1161
01:21:29,440 --> 01:21:35,560
net you're one stop for everything baggery you want to write us you want

1162
01:21:35,560 --> 01:21:39,640
to say something to us you want to look for a live button when we go live you

1163
01:21:39,640 --> 01:21:45,200
can call in all of this stuff is right there for your ears is an eye hole you

1164
01:21:45,200 --> 01:21:49,720
got it chumps it's all yours to douchebags and microphone dotnet is up

1165
01:21:49,720 --> 01:21:52,760
and running hit the subscribe button don't forget to hit the subscribe button

1166
01:21:52,760 --> 01:21:58,000
don't forget to hit the subscribe button don't forget to hit the subscribe

1167
01:22:07,440 --> 01:22:14,320
hey where do they go where the douchebags hmm oh my god someone took a

1168
01:22:14,320 --> 01:22:19,840
dump in the corner oh geez oh glad they're gone let's just hope they don't

1169
01:22:19,840 --> 01:22:46,320
come back man that smells