Live from the historic River Market District in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the banks of the beautiful Crystal Blue Waters of the Missouri River, it is Two Boosh Bags and Microphone Podcast.
Now we go to the amazing Mark the Palm Reader.
Hello everybody and welcome to Mark the Amazing Palm Reader. First in line, please step up.
Let's see young lady, I see a long lifeline. I see success, happiness, love, fortune. I also see a bit index finger.
Twenty dollars please.
Oh shit, what's that over there? Oh no, it's the island of horrible jokes.
A ship-tiling red paint and a ship-tiling blue paint collide. They were all moored.
Two Boosh Bags and a Microphone, the number one show for people that lie about their favorite podcast.
Hello everybody, this is Two Boosh Bags and a Microphone. I'm Mark.
And I'm Rob.
Alright, first off I'd like to say that I saw Topher today and he is doing pretty good.
I want to clarify his straight from Topher's desk. I wasn't sure what type of shape it would take, but here's what it looks like it's going to be.
He's going to write out a story or two or maybe even three that's important to him that he thinks needs to be out there.
And me and Rob will facilitate this on air. So I like that arrangement, I think that's good. He's doing well. We had a good time today.
We hung out for a little bit and Topher says hi to all you idiots out there that like our show.
And I'm just glad to hear he's still going to be part of the show.
Yeah, in that form right now, later on that may change. Or he might even do a call-in show with me. We spoke about that.
So we'll see. He's just got some stuff going on, but the main thing is he's doing well.
So anyhow, everybody, Topher is alive and well. The kill people gave him up because he bit one of them on the ankle and he hit the other one in the nuts.
And he got out. Yeah, yeah. And you know, the kill people are real pussies anyhow.
So all he did was he turned around and shook his fist like he was going to do physical violence and they all started crying and ran off.
So anyhow, Topher is saved. He saved himself. And then he took one of their cars and he said if they reported it, that he's going to come back and whip their ass.
And they started crying over the alleged violence or the threatened violence and they ran off and they said that he could have the car.
But they could not bear anything getting hurt.
How many times did he have to stop and recharge it on the way back?
Four times. I guarantee it was a lucky. Yeah, yeah. Four times. Four times. Yeah.
And they had shitty old batteries. Yeah. So yeah, it was about St. Louis. Yeah. Yeah.
And he sent some kill, touched him. So he's bleaching his hand every day. So we hope he's going to be okay.
I still have not heard from my family in West Virginia. But they're still alive.
I think what happened is like you said, there was a duck that got, not a duck, a buck, your duck, a buck got in the way and they got on the scent of it and they were like, hey man, let's go hunt down this buck and they completely forgot about him.
Yeah, that came from my aunt that that's what happened.
Okay. Well then, well let them know they don't have to search for Topher anymore. He is alive and well and saved.
Yeah, I talked to my aunt and next time she hears, she ain't no problem either.
Okay. Well, I think Topher's just busy bleaching his hand every night because it did accidentally touch Kale. I feel so sorry for him.
Oh man. And the Kale videos. Oh man. I'm sorry Topher. He said he closed his eyes and tried to not hear it as much as he could, but they kept playing him Kale videos, trying to convert him.
But he was too strong-willed. He knew better. He could not become one of the Kale evildoers. So he's. Thank you. Yeah.
Thank you. Yeah. So we thank the Lord that he is not a Kale evildoer and the Kale people ran off crying and he got their piece of crap electric car back here and then he just ditched it.
He put a for sale sign on it. It's on the side of I-29 somewhere.
So, anyhow, I have some ass paddlings. We can start off with them if you want or we could end with them or put them somewhere in the middle. What are you thinking Rob?
Let's start with them.
Alright, let's do some ass paddlings. And there's some that need to be dealt out pretty bad and that's why I had to do this. I'm like, you know what, there's some people that need their ass smacked really hard right now and it's going to happen because that's what we do.
And yeah, yep, yep. So, anyhow, and the ass paddlings, it's invisible ass paddlings and if you don't know my now, you're not a real fan.
But what it is is me and Rob, it started off with me and Topher. We founded a genie and it was on a beach. It's in a bottle.
We grabbed the bottle, we uncorked it and this genie came out and he said, I grant you guys three wishes? He said no, no. He said everybody fucking thinks that. It's one wish.
He said you guys get one fucking wish between both of you. No three wishes, just one. So me and Topher looked at each other and said, how about if we're invisible?
Okay, so we can turn invisible but only for one thing. We can't, you know, so we, instead of saving the world, we decided to do ass paddlings.
So whenever we turn invisible, we do invisible ass paddlings to people that need ass paddlings. So one of us holds the victim down or the piece of crap down that needs paddled and the other one paddles him with the board.
And they can't stop us because they can't see us. It's a perfect crime. So then after we're done paddling them for that week or month or whatever it is, whatever the timeline is, I think it's once a month we can paddle people and turn invisible.
That's it. We turn invisible again and that's it and it's over for that one. So anyhow, as of right now, we can turn ourselves invisible and ass paddle people once a month for we don't know how long.
But until that lasts, we are going to keep ass paddling everybody. So, okay, the first ass paddling is the FBI over the cocaine investigation of the White House.
They could not find any DNA and they destroyed the evidence. Wasn't that nice of them?
You smell bullshit there, Rob?
Well, like I said, I did not get much time this week so far to prepare. I read a story that they had found some fingerprints on the back.
And they were looking into that. But like I said, I have it saved somewhere here.
How long ago did you see this story?
How long ago did you see that story?
Yesterday.
Well, I saw my story a couple of days ago. And anyhow, the story I read was they destroyed the evidence and they could not locate any DNA on it. So therefore, it's just kind of like, okay, we didn't know who did it. Okay, whatever.
Well, like I said, I got to figure out what I got here. To me, the FBI saying that sounds like a hunk of bullshit. Because you tell me that if that was Anthrax or something like that, that it was going to be handled like that.
They emptied out the White House because of that. That soft-headed idiot that calls himself our president was not present so they didn't have to shuffle him out. He probably would have fell three times on his way out anyhow.
But anyhow, they emptied out the White House over this. That could have been fucking Anthrax. And you tell me that they can't figure out who did it. All the cameras in that place, all the law enforcement that they have, all of these top people in the field, and they don't know who did it. I smell another fucking lie from our lying ass government.
They know exactly who did it. They're just not...
Exactly. They don't want to tell for one reason or another. Or protecting them, another cover-up, whatever. So, alright, thank you, Deep State or whoever the fuck you are. So, anyhow.
The next one. Kansas City's own H&R Block for selling data to Meta and Google. Yeah, they're selling your information. If you went to H&R Block, they're selling your shit. And they're in a big lawsuit over it right now. And they should be. And I hope they get the shit-fucking suit out of them because it's bullshit.
People trusted them with their income, what they do in life, everything. And these people turned around and sold the data. Or I don't know if they sold it. Let me clarify that. They gave the data or something. I don't know why the motive was, whether it was monetary or what.
But I would suspect, in my own humble opinion, if you have a corporation doing anything, it's for monetary.
Look it up. Big story right now. They're getting sued over it. And that's bullshit. Allegedly H&R Block gave information out or sold it to Meta and Google and other entities like that that use your information to sell to you to do everything that you don't want.
So, anyhow. Yeah, H&R Block suck it. Fuckers need to go out of business in my opinion. They're not worth the shit anyhow in my opinion. Because I'll tell you what.
And anyhow, like I said, all this is allegedly. But when I had them doing taxes, all I know is when I quit having them doing taxes, I started getting a hell of a lot more refund back.
I wonder why that could be. Hmm. Let's see. They offer to go with you if you have an audit. So what are they going to do? In my opinion, they're safe. They're too safe.
They want to make damn sure you don't get an audit. So they err not towards you, but towards the government. So if anything's wrong, it goes in the government's favor in my opinion.
So, alright. Next one. I'm on it tonight, Rob. I'm fucking out.
Yeah, I'm going at least one of the things.
Oh, I'm starting to get some of my anger back. We had quite a few changes on this program. I'm starting to get some of my fuck this, fuck that back. And I'm glad. It's about time it came back.
Alright. Next one. Well, honestly, you're starting to bring it out at me too.
Good. Good. Well, I started...
It's going to show up here a little bit.
I do cover a little politics. I've got to be honest. You know, I talk about that soft-headed dumb-dumb that's our president and all that. Well, all that is this.
The guy has got to be seen now, in my opinion.
I'm getting ready to join you.
I'm getting ready to join you. That's a lot of news. That's a lot of shit.
We're not going to be too political. We make fun of both sides. We're not one-sided. We make fun of both sides. So, you know what? If you get mad about that, then you need to go grab a sense of humor.
We make fun of what we read.
Yes. And also, we illustrate. Not illustrate. Let's see. We emphasize hypocrisy. And we put a spotlight on it. And we show it. And we point it out and we ridicule it because we're sick of it.
All these people that tell us how we need to live and do. These idiots like Roger Waters and all these fucks.
You're like, oh my God, Roger Waters has a team. Taylor Swift has like 30 fucking trucks. And all these people are telling us how to live and how we need to do this and that.
No. You guys are not role models. You guys aren't even someone that should even be looked at. You guys are the fucking problem.
They're the ones telling us we need to drive electric vehicles.
Yeah. Like I've always said, if Roger Waters loves America so much, like he says he does, here's what he would do. He would pay off our national debt and he would shut the fuck up and leave.
Because that guy gets money from us. He gets filthy rich from us stupid Americans. And all he does is continue to bash us and try to point out how bad we are.
That guy's an idiot, man. I wish he'd just like go fucking drown or something. Asshole.
Anyhow, Roger Waters, you're a piece of shit in my opinion and I think you need to go back to England and shut your mouth and brush your fucking teeth. For God's sakes.
So anyhow, next one. Metta gets an ass-paddling for the same reason. Data sharing, selling, whatever the hell it is.
Metta, you suck anyhow. Zuckerberg, you suck anyhow. All you guys suck. So go suck it wherever this big suck factory is that you guys reside in.
And I hope Elon Musk kicks the shit out of you. Even though I don't like Elon Musk that much better.
So anyhow, the next one. Kale. Kale gets an ass-paddling just because. Because it's still there and it sucks.
Because it's still there and it sucks.
Is it Kale Naps? Tell him to do it.
Yes. Can I get a hell yeah?
Hell yeah.
Kale sucks?
Kale sucks.
Next one. Florida slash DeSantis gets an ass-paddling. Now I used to like this guy. I thought that he was very cavalier and unafraid in the face of everyone else in COVID.
And he wasn't afraid to do something different and it was working in Florida.
It was like, well you know what? The virus is going to run its course anyhow so we're not going to adhere to the rest of the world.
We're going to do what we think is right. And he went out looking like gold. But since then he has fucked everything up from Disney to all these insurance companies leaving Florida to the relaxed gun law.
Where anyone can go grab a gun and carry it around and shoot at anybody which we all know is a horrible idea.
So there you go. There's the yin and yang. I just got done making fun of Biden. Now I'm making fun of DeSantis.
So yeah, Governor DeSantis, you need to take that loose fitting fucking pair of trousers you wear, pull them down and get your ass-paddling like you need.
But you have no say so in it. We're just going to find you and give you your ass-paddling.
Who the hell don't want you to do?
Roland DeSantis gets an ass-paddling.
Alright, the next one is local but I think anyone that listens to this can identify with exactly what I'm saying.
KC City Council for voting themselves a significant pay raise while taking everybody's property taxes and tripling them at the least.
If you got a triple, you were doing good. There's people that were like quadruple territory. They raise their taxes so bad that elderly people are going to get kicked out of their house if they don't do something right.
So someone works all their fucking years and then they got another, like Topher said today, another ten years of miserable existence and then they're going to get kicked out of their house?
These people are unreal. These fucks need a reality check. They need to be pulled out of their house and smacked in the face until they fucking get a brain in that head of theirs.
Every one of you city council that voted to raise these property taxes the way you did and to raise your own pay, you are fucking evil and you need to step down right now or someone needs to come after you, you fucking pieces of shit.
You guys are morons. You don't deserve to be in that position. You're not serving the people. You're serving yourself and your lord. Your lord is fucking money and you're a piece of shit in my opinion.
Fucking change or leave. You're the problem in America.
Alright, number four. It's not just there Mark. It's not just there. It's everywhere. It's everywhere.
And I hope city council listens to this. Listen to this you idiots because I'll be fucking doing this as long as I can. I'm going to be pointing out hypocrisy and bullshit like this because this is the stuff that pisses me off to no end.
Red blooded Americans getting fucked out of their house because government is out of control. Bullshit.
Well, just look at rent crisis. Just the rent.
Yeah. Yes. It's ungodly.
Yeah. Okay. Next one. Moving right along here. Joe Biden for not letting his grand kid in Arkansas have his last name or rights to the perks that come with it.
I ran across that dude in Botherly Man.
Yes. Yep. Yep. Old Hunter Biden knocked up some chick down there. I don't know. Stripper or something. Oops. Got a little embarrassed. Ran off going oh my what did I do? Oh geez. Oh god. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Yeah. And what did daddy do? Nothing to do with that kid. Nothing.
Well, I was going to start going into politics but then I started reading crap like that.
Well, here's the deal.
Okay.
You're sitting there. This guy's sitting there crying over student loan and he won't let his grand kid visit the White House. He won't even acknowledge his grand kid.
Why is that? Because there's no glory. There's no glory in acknowledging your grand kid. That's not going to do you anything. That's not going to help raise your popularity rating. That's not going to help you in any polls. That's not going to help you with any votes.
So what are you doing? You're over there pandering going I'm going to take this good kid and I'm going to burn it. Bullshit. You don't give a fuck about anything except yourself in my opinion. So eat a fucking...
And you've already been proven it's his grand kid.
Yes. Now if this guy had any integrity at class at all in my opinion, he would go see that child and he would say this child is a Biden and he can come over here whenever he wants. Or is it a she?
He'd move that kid into the White House.
Yeah you should. You should and anything less is complete lies and bullshit.
So anyhow.
That's why I don't like it.
The next one. Ask Padman for Nextdoor and DirecTV. Both. Both of them.
Both of them. They're asked at the same time. Because Nextdoor and DirecTV. Nextdoor owns a whole bunch of outlets. One of them is Fox Four in Kansas City. And they're no longer airing...
I'm going to take your word for it on this.
They're no longer airing on DirecTV because both of these huge corporations can't come up with a deal. So like always you don't get what you pay for. And they don't care. They're blaming each other. Pointing the fingers at each other. They don't give a shit if you watch their programming or not.
So you and I do now. I was going to the internet to watch your news. Nope. Not now. I don't want them getting one rating point from me. And DirecTV I'll deal with you here in a month or so.
Because there's going to be a better option coming out that I found out about. And you guys can go straight to hell too because I've never liked DirecTV. They're a piece of crap company in my opinion and I don't like their business practices or their prices.
Yeah. They're doing the same thing down here. There's local stations you can't pick up no more.
Yeah. They don't want to pay for them. But they want you to pay more prices. So higher prices.
I don't know which ones because I don't deal with them. But I'm almost sure and I guarantee they're the same station.
I think both of them get a fisting too. How's that?
They're fox or whatever.
How about a fisting? How about if we hire some big Mongoloid guy to fist him?
My brother used to work at the prison. He knows people.
Oh. You know what? Hey. Send a word out to him. When we're asked, Patlin, maybe he wants to hire, we'll hire whoever. Bubba or whoever and have him come over and just give him a little fist in there.
Honestly, I could probably do a show just on the text that the two of him and my sister-in-law sent me. I think they could start their own podcast on.
You know what? Hey, we could have him on this. This is our rules in our game.
Who wants to be?
Okay. All right. We'll talk about it. Or if nothing else, if they could get the equipment, we could sponsor them on our platform.
You know what? We'll talk about that later. Okay. The next one is all fast food chains that did not participate in National French Friday.
Because if you didn't, there's no reason for you not to.
No. No. No.
You only give someone free French fries, you suck.
I think Taco Bell might have been participating in it.
First place?
Oh, I think they're giving away something else. I don't have to look that up. I'm not for sure.
Okay. And the next one, this is in three ringers, three of them in a row. Okay. But they're all in related. They're all in the same field.
But they all needed to retire to save our eardrums whenever we accidentally have to hear them walking by or something.
But Skip Bayless slash Joe Buck slash Troy Aikman for not giving our ears a break and not retiring from broadcasting.
Bare ass paddling while wearing a skirt.
That one's in the Hall of Fame.
They're all in the Hall of Fame, yes.
No, no, no. I'm saying that ass paddling is in the Hall of Fame.
Oh, okay. All right. We can like bring them. Okay, here's what we can do. Since all of those who are in the Ass Paddling Hall of Fame, all of the above mentioned, the Skip Bayless and the Joe Buck and Troy Aikman, they're all in the Hall of Fame separately, we can do like duos and trios. And they can be the very first trio in the Hall of Fame of ass paddling.
Yeah, you will redeem. They can be brought up anytime.
Okay. All right. Well, then this is the first trio is Skip Bayless, Joe Buck and Troy Aikman are all in the Ass Paddling Hall of Fame separately and in a trio.
Especially if they do the same game.
Oh, yeah. Well, Skip Bayless won't be doing it. But I mean, Joe Buck and Troy Aikman always do do the first. They always do do the same thing.
Yeah, I agree. I agree.
Yep. Hang on one second, Rob.
I'm sorry, but again, I got to reserve it.
All right. Next story I got is one about Tony Iommi. That sound good?
All right.
I was like I said, I didn't have time to do homework, but I was free.
That's all right. I got this one covered. There's all kinds of stories that I looked at this week. And I've got an update on the Taco Tuesday registered trademark deal.
I've got it.
Like I said, I got plenty of days. I didn't have time to sit down and do it.
That's OK, because probably now the next time we'll be able to broadcast probably like maybe Saturday or Sunday night or something like that. That's a few days. Just write some out.
Yeah. Yeah. Well, no, like I said, I've got it saved. I just wasn't expecting.
OK. Well, and hopefully Topher will have a couple of. I didn't bring out. I'm not going to bring out some of his ideas for stories because he's got some really good ones and I don't want to step on his feet because I'll just go ahead and take whatever.
Oh, I've got a new Harry Asshole Olympics.
Oh, damn it. I haven't got mine ready yet.
Yep. And also.
I'm working on one.
And also not only that, but I have part of my I have most of my acoustical written out.
Good. Yeah, mine's ready. I just got to look up what plays this one.
I got some that's going to twist your mind, dude.
Yeah.
OK. All right. You know what? That's fine. You know what? It's not a competition.
No, no, I.
Like the words of the great TV dad said, it's not a competition.
I even have a number six.
Because I heard this song after I came up with my top five.
But it's going to be like a word of me.
Dude, I've got like 12. I've got like 12 of them because I can't do it all down.
That's the hard part, breaking them down.
I know. Yeah. You know, you know what? I might end up with seven or eight.
I'm going to have to take some of them and throw them aside.
I've got a lot of fun.
I've got one for you that I'm just going to mention right now that's in my top five.
And I just want you to think about it because it's something you don't think about very much.
And I don't care. I'll give it away right now.
Over now. Over now by Alison Chains.
That was off their three legged dog CD.
Oh, see how they take it out.
See? That thing is amazing.
That's what's going to make our list different.
I heard it on the alternative station on Sirius XM.
And they really dug deep for that.
I'm like, shit, I forgot all about this weird ass three legged dog album they did way back in the 90s.
And I remember that was the most interesting album because there was a lot of acoustic on there.
But it was like really sharp.
And I heard that and I was like, wow.
What really threw me off during all this is I discovered YouTube.
Oh yeah, YouTube has some pretty good lists on there.
I'm here and stuff. I listen to the radio.
You see, I want to learn to play that acoustic rip on there.
It's so over now. It's just some amazing work.
That's all I got to say. Jerry Cantrell brought it.
So anyhow, speaking of Jerry Cantrell, that made you think, didn't it?
That made your mind go back and forth.
Wow, there's something no one would think about that should be on that list in my opinion.
But here, since we're talking about musicians, I've got this Tony Iommi story that I want to talk about.
This is something that I find interesting and if you don't, then you know what?
I'm in your ear holes so it doesn't matter.
So, okay, I'm in there right now splashing around and playing.
We both are. We're in your ear holes right now scrubbing each other playfully with nothing but short shorts on.
He's in the right, I'm in the left.
Yes, yes. We've got booty shorts on and that's it.
And we're dancing around splashing in your ear drums.
Okay, anyhow, Tony Iommi.
By the way, you need to clean them out.
Oh yeah, oh, speaking of stuff like that, did you get any more messages or pictures from Gonja?
No, I have not heard from him this week yet.
Oh, okay.
No, I may have ghosted him too much.
Yeah, he's upset. He's upset.
If you've been gone, sorry I've been busy. Get over it.
Do I have to put the promo back in? Is that it?
Do I have to have the voice guy reiterate how you need male body part pictures?
But remember, ass up, face looking.
That's the way Rob likes him.
Ass cheeks spread, your head turned around, big grin on your face.
Yeah, that's the whole picture.
Yeah, that's not too much to ask. Come on, come on guys.
Rob slaves over a hot microphone for you and you can't do that for him.
I'm sorry, if you can't do that for him, I don't think you care. I don't think you care about Rob.
Yeah, only one person in this world.
Yes, one person cares about Rob, that's it.
Nobody else gives a shit if he gets asshole pictures or not.
And Mark is worshiping that person.
Yes, yes.
Like I said, I've been doing this a lot longer than you and I have not had a stalker yet.
I'm really offended, it hurts me.
No, actually, nope, nope, nope. I don't want to tempt anybody.
Let me put the brakes on that one real quick.
Yeah, you better.
Yeah, okay, so Tony Iommi said that Ronnie James Dio constantly challenged Sabbath to up their game.
Dio would encourage Iommi regularly to play longer solos.
I always said it's because he wanted to get a good rest in.
But he'd go backstage, swilling a couple of drinks and smoking a dude and he's like, man, come on Tony, play a little bit longer.
Geez, man, I don't want to finish this fucking dude, but I don't know.
Okay, that's the Tony story that I ran across that I say that I...
We must have the same news services or something.
Well, it comes in different sources.
Yeah, yeah, mine does too.
And the one group.
So, recently Iommi had to listen to all the live recordings of the Mob Rules Tour so he could not edit and remaster the, you know, so he could edit and remaster the live Evil albums.
Iommi said bloody hell, much of his solos were a bit over the top in the length of time playing.
He now looks back and feels he maybe should have cut them down during the show and I'm saying no.
I mean, I loved his solos.
I thought they were excellent, very well done, tastefully done, fit the song, fit the mood of what they were doing.
I thought it was excellent, but I understand critiquing your own work because that's completely different.
You critiqued your own...
I totally agree with you on that.
Black Savage just released a newly remastered 40th anniversary edition of their first ever live album, Live Evil.
The centerpiece heaven and hell that closes out with Tony Iommi leaving shoe prints all over the wah-wah pedals, which is fine with me.
I personally wish he could have played three more solos, but I'm that kind of crazy.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah, I mean, the sound of a really good guitar that sounds good is just...
I mean, don't get me wrong, people's voices are great, but guitar has always been my instrument of choice.
Does that mean like an icon like Tony Iommi?
Yes. Yep, I would agree.
So, anyhow, we'll do the hairy ass Olympics about who has a hairier asshole in a bit because we just got done doing the ass paddling, so we're going to back off on the ass stuff for a minute.
Yeah, I agree.
And, you know, I think this is still with Topher, but Taco Jones has owned the trademark Taco Tuesday.
Right.
They've owned it since 1989. They ran out and grabbed it. They've seen a market. I got to give it to them. They've seen a market.
And they went out there and they grabbed it before anyone else did.
So, you know, what they did, what they thought they needed to do to keep it or whatever.
So, you know, I'll just go into the story.
Taco Bell sued them over the term Taco Tuesday because they said that no one could really rightfully own that trademark because, you know, it's part of Americana.
It's been going on forever and plus all the mom-and-pop places that use it.
You know, Taco John's can't go around and sue everybody, but they have sued a few people and made them take it down.
But restaurant, there's a truce in the Taco Tuesday wars.
Restaurant chain Taco John said Tuesday is giving up its fight defending its trademark to the phrase Taco Tuesday.
Fast food giant Taco Bell filed a petition in May with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office seeking to cancel the trademark.
Taco Tuesday is generic and any restaurant that makes tacos should be able to use it, said Taco Bell, which is owned by Yum Brands.
Yum Brands is also PepsiCo, too, by the way. Did you know that?
No, I did not know that.
Yeah, and Frito-Lay.
But anyhow, Jim Creel, chief executive of Taco John's, which operates nearly 400 restaurants in more than 20 states, said the company estimated it could cost as much as $1 million to defend the trademark.
It's just not worth the amount of money it would take to defend it, Creel said. We'd rather take that money and put it towards a good cause.
Creel said Taco John's will donate $40,000 to Children of Restaurant Employees, a non-profit group that provides financial support to people who work in the restaurant industry and have children.
Creel said he hopes Taco Bell will consider giving a donation to the group as well.
Taco Bell didn't respond to requests to comment, so who knows what they're going to do. Taco Bell turned the Taco Tuesday dispute into a marketing campaign and enlisted taco enthusiast and NBA star LeBron James, who shot a commercial for Taco Bell calling for the liberation of Taco Tuesday.
Fuck LeBron James.
James also tried to trademark Taco Tuesday in 2019, but the trademark office denied it, saying it was a commonplace phrase. See what I mean? James had his own interest in mind.
Taco John's has owned the trademark on Taco Tuesday since 1989 in every state except New Jersey. Gregory's Restaurant and Bar, a restaurant in the Jersey Shore city of Summers Point, owns the trademark in New Jersey, which I find interesting.
I didn't know you could do that.
Taco Bell filed a separate petition in May seeking to cancel Gregory's trademark as well.
Greg Gregory, whose family owns Gregory's, said in June that the restaurant would attempt to defend its trademark.
Any restaurant in the U.S., except in New Jersey, can now legally use Taco Tuesday now that Taco John's has given up defending its trademark.
Previously, Taco John's would send cease-and-desist letters to restaurants that use that term.
David Olson, who ran a Taco John's franchise in St. Paul, Minnesota, first started offering Taco Specials Tuesday in 1979. He originally called it Taco Tuesday with T-W-O instead of T-U-E.
So, yeah, the Taco Tuesday concept. He should own it, and there shouldn't be any type of chatter about it. It should be his.
The Taco Tuesday concept spread to other Taco John's locations in the 1980s. Krill credited Taco Tuesday for driving the success of Taco John's throughout the Midwest.
Krill said it was tough for Taco John's to give up the trademark.
It's a sad day for us and our franchises and a lot of our customers, Krill said. But at the same time, we will still have Taco Tuesday, and others will have Taco Tuesday as well.
So, it looks to me like Taco Bell had a lot more money and kind of boyed them out of this. That's what it looks like to me.
That's what I would say. Because if you look at a Taco John's thing, slowly going downhill over the years. I mean, they've been slowly closing up.
Yeah, they're not what they used to be. No. No. Taco Bell kept descending.
Taco Bell is the bastard Mexican joint.
Yeah, they are the swinging dicks in town, and Taco John's were the has-beens. And I'd still like Taco John's if you can find one. The closest one I know of is Blue Springs, but I'm not driving all the way out there for a Taco John's.
Honestly, I'd rather have Taco John's over Taco Bell.
I would too. They have some of those black bean burritos and some other stuff that's really good.
Taco Bell went too fast too. Yeah. And the taste just went downhill.
Yeah, it's not the same. Ever since they quit doing the fried meat, they used to fry the meat. They used to fry the hamburger right there.
And now they just bring it out of bags and bring it in boiling water.
It's not the same to me. They have the same texture, the same taste, even the same smell.
Yeah. I mean, let me put it like this. Yeah, it's okay, but Taco Bell used to be outstanding to me.
They used to think it was really good food, and so was Taco John's.
But I don't think it's because I got older and my taste bud changed. I think it's because of their ways of making it and becoming quicker at it.
And to me, it doesn't seem like the quality is there like it used to be.
And I want to say that it goes through a lot of fast food stores.
Oh yeah, McDonald's. I can't stand to go to McDonald's anymore. Their burgers have no taste.
And McDonald's used to be one of the places where you could, whether you liked the taste or not, they were going to have some sort of taste that they were affiliated with, right?
Right.
Well, now you go and get like a McDouble. The only thing it has flavor on it's some ketchup and mustard and pickles.
Yeah. That's it. The burger itself, I don't know what that, they took all the flavor out of it. It just does not taste the same.
And it's not greasy, it's watery.
Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what they're doing to the meat, but it's not right.
So, I mean, that's my opinion. I don't think McDonald's is good.
It's every restaurant.
You know, and I used to go to McDonald's for a frozen Coke, but their machines are always out.
And that's because they let them freeze up and they don't defrost them like they need to every day.
And then the machine freezes up and then it's going to take forever.
And like Topher exposed this story where there was a website that told you which McDonald's, their ice cream machines were working or their frozen Coke machines were working.
And it wasn't working and they sued them and made them quit.
Long time running joke.
Yeah.
Which honestly was true.
Yeah. Yep.
So, anyhow, we know the fast food chain In-N-Out Burger, right?
Yeah.
They have a good burger. I wouldn't call it a great burger. A lot of people are like fanatical out of them.
But I'll put it like this. A great debate between Whataburger and In-N-Out.
I like In-N-Out a little bit better, but the thing I like about Whataburger is they're not confined to just soft drinks, fries and burgers like In-N-Out is.
That's all In-N-Out does and they never deviated from that.
But Whataburger has like Dr. Pepper shakes and peach shakes and onion rings. I think they have onion rings. I don't know.
But anyhow, they're just not like they have chicken sandwiches, breakfast.
They're not relegated just to burgers, fries and soft drinks.
But that's where In-N-Out is. But I like the In-N-Out Burger a little bit better. I think it has a little bit better taste to me than the Whataburger.
But that being said, the In-N-Out Burger chain will borrow employees in five days from wearing masks unless they have a doctor's note according to the internal company emails leaked on social media.
In the memo announcing new guidelines in Arizona, Colorado, Nevada, Texas and Utah workers, the fast chain pointed to the importance of customer service and the ability to show our associates smiles and other facial features while considering the health and well-being of all individuals.
The policy which goes into effect August 14 applies to all In-N-Out employees in those states except for those who need to wear masks or other protective gear for job duties that require it like painting.
Employees could face disciplinary action including being fired if they do not comply.
The memo says California and Oregon both have laws in place preventing employees from banning masks.
So they could not enforce it there.
It is not the first time that the chain based in California has clashed with health experts over safety measures that were put into place as deaths from COVID-19 skyrocketed during the pandemic.
In October 2021, several In-N-Out locations in California faced fines or were temporarily closed because the Burger chain refused to enforce COVID-19 vaccination rules.
So that kind of surprises me them being a California company and being firmly based on the West Coast for years, they actually seem to have kind of a conservative outlook on this.
Wouldn't you say?
Yeah, yeah.
That's very confusing I think.
Here's what I say about all of it right here and this is why I look at it.
Okay, they have the right to do that in the states where there's not a law against it.
That's fine.
It's your company and what people do working for you is more or less your business not mine.
But there's a lot of people that don't have a problem themselves.
They don't have a...
Because I was with this with my old company.
It pissed me off because they didn't make anyone wear masks.
But I wasn't worried about myself.
I was worried about my elderly mom that I took care of.
I was down there seeing her two times a week doing what she needed, you know, helping her out.
So it wasn't me.
I was worried about my mom and they weren't worried about anything which pissed me the hell off.
So here's this is what I'm saying here.
In-N-Out I understand what their, you know, it's their company and all that and they have a right to do whatever, you know, that's okay.
But a lot of people are going to quit because they have an elderly mother or an elderly friend or an uncle or an aunt or something like that that is high risk.
And they're going to quit working there because no one's wearing masks.
Because a mask is there to help the others not you.
So if you're the only one wearing a mask then you're it doesn't matter.
Right.
So yeah, I, you know, I agree with their right to do that.
But I also say that they're not really thinking about the employees that do have people that they watch out for and take care of that are close to them that could really be affected by this.
But I mean, this is quite, I mean, with all the vaccinations and everything is probably not the story that it used to be and it's probably not nearly as important as it was.
So I can't really compare it to that piece of crap old company that I used to work for.
I can't really, you know, I can't really compare it to that because this, you know, this is during the height of COVID.
And they didn't seem to give a crap.
So, you know, but at least this is a couple of years later.
So anyhow, let's see.
I got another story here since we're talking about employment and employers.
Do you know what soft skills are?
No, I don't.
Soft skills, they can be thought of as people skills.
People can include, these skills can include good communication and interpersonal skills, leadership, problem solving, work ethic, time management and teamwork.
These are characteristics that can be carried over to any position.
According to a recent survey by Gartner, 64% of IT professionals think the skill shortage is the biggest barrier of adaption of game changing technologies like AI.
A separate survey of banking, insurance and telecommunication professionals think the skill shortage is the biggest barrier in adaption of game changing technologies.
A separate survey of banking, insurance and telecom professionals published by SunTech found that difficulty in recruiting skilled staff is the biggest obstacle to achieving business goals in 2023.
And they're saying the soft skills aren't there because of COVID.
They say that like the Zoomers missed out on all the soft skills, they got out of college and they were doing remote college work in their house away from people.
So they don't really have any idea of the soft skills that they should have learned in college.
And they say it's going to hold a lot of technologies back.
So, I mean, that's just another thing, another thing that this COVID stuff, it kind of like, you know, it barreled over and kind of, let me think how to put this.
Some things that we would never think would have ever became an issue are an issue because it was so hard to figure out something like a pandemic would do to our society.
Right. You could, you could guess there's going to be a certain amount of inflation.
You could guess there might be somewhat of a worker shortage, but you couldn't have guessed on the epic proportions of what happened.
You also couldn't have guessed that stuff like this would happen where people are at home and they don't talk to other people.
They don't look at their face. They don't understand.
Like let's say sarcasm. You and I know sarcasm because as you grew up around it, so come up, oh, great job.
They didn't mean you did a great job. They're like, heck, good job. Fuck up. You know, they're like laughing at you. Right.
Someone had been at home this whole time may not understand that.
You know, it's like, oh, I'm doing a great job. Thanks. They're like, you know, so just another little tidbit about, you know, the pandemic that were like affected everything that we had no idea would happen.
So, and we've been touching on a little bit.
We're going to take a break. And when we come back, we are doing the hairy asshole Olympics just for you because we care.
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The voice guide is a video from our podcast.
Alright guys, two douchebags and a microphone. I'm Mark.
I'm Rob.
As promised, we have the hairy asshole olympics coming up.
and Rob has his own list that he's making out
and this originated what the last podcast or the one before I can't remember which one
but another brainchild of mine that I
probably shouldn't be proud of at all but I know I'm kinda like you
yeah I like it too we're trying to figure out who has a hairier asshole
when we pit off usually it's two similar people
that maybe might look similar and act similar or whatever
but we put them off on who has a hairier asshole
and so this is like the Olympics this is a hairy asshole
Olympics so like this is big time here this is like like the winner
and I don't know gets like an Olympic trophy
and the loser goes home because there's only gold medals in this
there's no silver or bronze so you either win it or you don't
so I would like to wish both asshole Olympic participants on each
on each ass off good luck
wouldn't you Rob? Yes I do and I'll have mine on the next one
alright we wish both the participants of the
asshole Olympic square off good luck and here we go
the first one I have Danny DeVito versus Jack Nicholson
that's a rough one who would have a hairier asshole
I'm gonna say on the surface Jack Nicholson has a hairier asshole
I think I gotta go with you now
you think Jack Nicholson? I do too yeah I think Danny DeVito might have somewhat of a
hairy asshole but I think it's controllable
I think Jack Nicholson's just got a hairy asshole and he
thinks it's fantastic I think he makes people smell it
I think he makes people that work for him smell it and look at it
and comb it I think he's proud of it
I'll go with you on that one. Alright, allegedly
this next one
Lennox Lewis versus Lenny Kravitz
now I know one's a boxer one's a singer but they just remind me of each other somehow I don't
know how
are they both from England maybe and they're both African
English or whatever yeah okay maybe that's it
I don't know this one I had trouble with
I think I'm gonna go with Lennox Lewis just because he's a boxer
I think the rock star probably nairs his asshole
what do you think?
see here's the one I was about to say I could see both of them doing it
yeah Lennox Lewis is like a really straight laced
talking very well thought out very
organized
a lot of these athletes that are in a ring
have to show
now would you want that
butt crack threat?
yeah
okay I'm gonna
go with Lenny Kravitz
you change my mind
alright Lenny Kravitz is his he has a hairier asshole than
Lennox Lewis not by much
but by a little yeah okay next one
I really like this one Valerie Bertinelli
versus Marie Oswin
Marie yep
yep
I'm trying to think of why Marie I just think she looks like she would have a
hairier asshole what do you think
well
oh maybe Mormons probably can't
Mormons probably can't
see here their asshole I bet I bet that's against Mormon law
that's it that's it that's what the deal is okay
next one
Chad Kroger versus Lars Jurich
I don't like either one of them so I don't know which one has a hairier asshole
which one doesn't I'm gonna say
I don't know
I might as well go with Kroger
yeah by just an ass hair no
no pun intended no pun intended
Chad Kroger by an ass hair over Lars Jurich
but I bet they both have uncontrollable asshole that smells horrible
yeah yeah okay
this next one is interesting because they don't necessarily remind me of each
other but I just want to see him on an ass hair
off Olympics just because for my own amusement and entertainment this is the
only reason I want this to happen
Robert De Niro versus Brad Pitt
De Niro
I'm gonna say Brad Pitt because I know people that know him or
supposedly they knew him in school and I guess he grew up around Springfield or
something they claim they know him and they said he didn't
his brother is active at the Olympics and everything down around Springfield
okay then maybe they really did know him because they did grow up in
Springfield so
anyhow they said that he's not really into deodorant
and bathing that much this is allegedly
that'd be shocking to me
I don't know if that's true or not I mean you know like I said I mean that
they they could have very well known him growing up down there it would have been the
same timeline they're about the same age
so but I've heard that I've heard that for a while now
so I I don't know
I still give it to De Niro. I will give it to Pitt just because of what I think I know
and if I'm wrong then I apologize to Pitt profusely
next one
I love this one this is the first
intersex league this is male versus female okay
so they're groundbreaking being the first intersex asshole
hair Olympics okay this is Terry Bradshaw versus Michelle
Tafoya
I think I'm gonna give it to Terry. I'm gonna give it to Terry too
because Tafoya is not a bad looking woman
and I I think that she would probably keep it in shape down there don't you
I don't know
I think she'd keep it in shape better than Terry Bradshaw
yeah sorry Michelle Tafoya
we love you and Bradshaw we love you too even though
you did get told about going against the Chiefs you were told by Travis Kelsey
what an idiot you were
so I'm happy with that and you know it and you know that you should never go
against the Chiefs ever again
so so you do know that so we're gonna go ahead and just go ahead with that
because you did get spanked on national TV after the Chiefs won the Super Bowl
despite you saying they were not and everyone else saying they were not
everyone giving it to the Eagles
and you got your ass spanked like the rest the talking heads
we're gonna go and give it to you because you were told
you were told and you were corrected and you know your wrongdoings
so only because you went up against Terry
yes yep Ken Kardashian versus Sophia
Vierega and I got a definite one on this
Kardashian yeah big ass you can't get in there
you cannot get in there enough to clean that and fucking
de-fetch that whole thing here I don't care if you took
sulfuric acid and poured it around in her asshole it would not get rid of all
that hair
besides that didn't she like look the waning or something
I don't know I don't know I'm just gonna go ahead and act like they're
notorious for ass hair even though I don't know
I just do my best to dodge them
and me too whenever I see them on TV I go there
oh they're fucking annoying as hell
yeah yep it's
it's something we have to deal with it's like you know when
when our parents talk about walking to school in a 10 foot snow drift
both both ways uphill we have
we talk about how we had to avoid Kim Kardashian on TV
yeah that's our struggles you know like that
then my dad if he's still alive God rest his soul yeah I used to have to walk to
school
one room schoolhouse and walk to school three miles uphill
in 10 foot snow drift and I go dad I had to
dodge Kim Kardashian every fucking day for years
oh man I'm sorry mark I'm sorry I'll shut up
I'm sorry yeah that yeah yeah
that's the true measure of how rough you have it so
the next one Juliana Margolis
versus Carrie Underwood
this one I don't really have a clear-cut one and that's why I put it in there
I want to get your feedback on it what what do you think
I'm gonna go with Margolis just because
I'm gonna go with Margolis because Underwood has blonde hair
it wouldn't be as noticeable Margolis has dark hair
would be more noticeable how's that
just because it's blonde don't mean it ain't there
no but I know but I'm talking about noticeable like you look at it and if
you look at it really quick you'd be like I know that ain't bad oh no
well I was going off Carrie as a country girl
yeah well okay alright that's what I was going on
we can do a split I'm gonna go with Margolis and you can go with Underwood
huh yeah okay
alright I mean it doesn't
I mean look I mean you can give yours a medal and I can give mine a medal
and we'll just call it good alright next one Steven Tyler versus Mick Jagger
I'm gonna go with Steven Tyler
yeah I think I would have to go there too
and he just looks like he would have more ass hair
asshole hair than Mick Jagger
right yeah yeah
okay alright okay Steven Tyler you won
next one Kanye West versus Derek Carr
I'm going Derek Carr he's got those really thick ass
Bert and Ernie eyebrows yeah you know that's a sure sign that he's got a
fucking jungle down in his asshole
I'll bet you it comes out his jock strap and like wraps around it and you think he's
naked
you don't see the jock strap because the the fucking asshole hair is like wrapped
around it so much
whatever he pulls it off it probably hurts because it's pulling all the ass hair out
I agree
next one Kurt Cousins versus Marcus Mariota
and I just said that because I was watching
the show on Netflix quarterback
I have yet to see it but I keep hearing about it
well okay
the Mahomes part is really interesting
Kurt Cousins is kinda interesting and Mariota is the fast-forward stuff
and it's quite simple you got a great quarterback could be the greatest
quarterback ever still undetermined but
definitely up there Kurt Cousins who's a really good quarterback
but you know not the best and then you got an ass bag
so one you care about a lot one you're like yeah this is kinda cool
and then the other one's like why they picked those three like that I get why
they
picked them I get why they picked
Mahomes and Cousins is kind of a stretch
because there's so many other really good quarterbacks better than him
but anyhow it's still it's not boring and he's a good guy
good family guy I think that's why they they showed him I mean
really good family guy and just a nice guy in general so I could see why anyone
want to hire him but anyhow
I've got another question for you and I'm gonna go back to
our our top five acoustical that we're gonna do it's probably gonna turn into
more like eight or so
okay
here's what I have looking up on the internet acousticals
that could be playing could be playing in the game or not
but I'm gonna let me and you decide this right now on this show before we even
get them
on our list or not you know cemetery gates by Pantera
that's acoustical at first but then it turns heavy
do you count that as an acoustical song
or how about still way to heaven you have electric guitar in that but it's
acoustical through a lot of it
I'm going off the acoustic sound
okay alright
I'm going off the acoustic
the colors where I'm going that's cool
okay I just want to check and make sure because
there you get the acoustic sound
it should be a thumbs up okay
I'll give it to you okay cool alright
okay alright we will be right back right after this
our constant pursuit for real knee slapper
it's strange insults from an alien real
hilarity every sock you wear is slightly
just enough to be comfortable
hey where do they go where the douchebags
hmm oh my god someone took a dump in the corner
oh geez
glad they're gone let's just hope they don't come back
man that smells