1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:22,200 Live from the city market, it is Two Douchebags and Microphone Podcast. 2 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:26,880 Two Douchebags and a Microphone, the number one show for people that lie about their favorite 3 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:27,880 podcast. 4 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:34,840 Invisible ass paddlings, new douche flavors and horrible pranks, what the fuck is wrong 5 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:37,840 with these guys? 6 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:48,960 Anyhow, I was reading a couple of articles and I started reading this before I went on 7 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:53,400 to little mini vacay and I read a little bit more of it while I was there because I woke 8 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:56,920 up before Val and I was just kind of sitting there and you know like I said I love to sit 9 00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,320 on the deck in nature and read. 10 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:04,160 I read some of my book that's taken me way too long to read because I've been so busy 11 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:06,360 in that Skizzer Butler's book Into the Void. 12 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:09,720 Oh I was hoping you were going to say that. 13 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:14,200 It's really really good, it's just man I just yeah every time I try to get into it I have 14 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:18,880 something that comes up and I got to go do that and it sucks because I'm used to reading 15 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:20,920 a book in like three days. 16 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:24,420 This one's taken me like three weeks and we're not even halfway through it and it's pissing 17 00:01:24,420 --> 00:01:26,420 me off but I'll get to it. 18 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:29,440 I have a good answer for that. 19 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:30,440 Welcome to adulting. 20 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:43,080 And you know what, yeah and another thing is you're right I have no reason, no I really 21 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:49,480 have so many, no I have so many things going on I would love to just be able to sit down 22 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,200 and read a book for a week. 23 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:56,640 Anyhow and I'm not a speed reader either, I go over stuff sometimes to make sure that 24 00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:57,640 I retain it. 25 00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:01,440 I know people that can like speed write through books and retain it. 26 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,200 I guess I'm not that intelligent it takes me a minute. 27 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:05,200 So anyhow. 28 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:11,200 Okay well you hear me reading my news articles on my phone on this podcast, that tell you 29 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:12,960 something about me. 30 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:16,440 I'm a little slow when it comes to reading. 31 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,440 You know what I mean. 32 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:20,800 I'm very smart other than that just so people know. 33 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:21,800 Yeah yeah oh yeah. 34 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,920 I'm a little slow at reading. 35 00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:32,560 It's just different, people absorb things differently and one of the things that I've 36 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:39,660 always been able to retain a lot of information but I have to do it in a certain way. 37 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:43,880 If I do it in a certain way I will retain it and I will remember it for life. 38 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:47,960 But if I don't do it in that certain way and this is part of knowing yourself. 39 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:52,520 You know if I don't do it in that way there's no guarantee that I'll retain it and that's 40 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,200 why it has to be done like it is. 41 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,560 It's because I want to make sure I retain it. 42 00:02:56,560 --> 00:03:01,020 You know I wanted 10 years ago someone would go well I wonder what happened when Giesel 43 00:03:01,020 --> 00:03:03,800 Butler did this solo project or whatever. 44 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:10,040 I want to be able to go oh yeah yeah I read that 10 years ago and anyhow yeah this is 45 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:13,520 what happened because of this and that and this. 46 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:15,840 I like to be like that. 47 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:19,800 And in order for me to be like that I have to do things like that. 48 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:28,920 So anyhow but I was reading an article and 60% of people who took early retirement when 49 00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:29,920 COVID hit. 50 00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:33,480 The people who are right on that teeter and age and they're worried about getting COVID 51 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:36,960 and dying so they took an early retirement. 52 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:41,960 60% of them have already slipped into poverty. 53 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:45,240 60%. 54 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:47,200 Think of that. 55 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:49,240 Over half of them. 56 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:53,000 Because of inflation and the way the bullshit way this country is being run. 57 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:57,280 They slipped into poverty. 58 00:03:57,280 --> 00:04:02,600 You slipped into a different subject that's been on my mind that I really don't want to 59 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:03,600 bring up. 60 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:04,600 Okay. 61 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:11,560 But it reaches there and it hits me deep because it hurt my mama. 62 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,720 Okay is this. 63 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,720 No it has nothing to do with COVID. 64 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,720 Oh no no no no no no what I'm asking is. 65 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:19,720 That's what I was asking. 66 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:22,000 If this is for this podcast go ahead. 67 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:26,000 No no no no no no no no this is a different podcast. 68 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,000 Yeah let's do this. 69 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,000 Okay well how about some stupid. 70 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,000 Because it hurts me. 71 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:33,520 You want some stupid questions and write that out and we will do that on any podcast you 72 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:34,760 want. 73 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:39,280 Let me know that you have it written out and you want to do it and we will do it. 74 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:41,280 It sounds very important to you. 75 00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:45,160 Oh no dude I don't have to write it out. 76 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,800 Okay well whenever you're ready do it. 77 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:48,800 Let me know. 78 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:49,920 I will I will. 79 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:52,040 You want some stupid questions. 80 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:53,080 I love them. 81 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:54,080 I know you do. 82 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:55,080 Okay. 83 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:58,680 That's all you've ever asked me Mark. 84 00:04:58,680 --> 00:04:59,920 Oh I know this. 85 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:00,920 We know this. 86 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:04,080 People out there may not know this. 87 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:08,080 So that's in the 80s that's all you ever asked me was stupid questions. 88 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:09,080 Oh gosh. 89 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:12,400 Man that's all I did. 90 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:14,680 My whole thing was like to shock people. 91 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:19,880 Well to be honest that's all we did to each other back then because that's all we had 92 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:20,880 to do. 93 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:21,880 Oh yeah. 94 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:25,480 I remember like Harry would come up and give you a nut clinch. 95 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:30,880 It would just shock the piss out of you. 96 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:34,080 Yeah we have some people I need to ask you about. 97 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:36,120 I ain't heard from in years. 98 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:42,000 We can do that off error and a lot of them I know what happened to. 99 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,400 Some of them I do not sadly. 100 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:48,200 I've checked on them and checked on them and some of them you're not going to like the 101 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:50,360 answer to what happened to them. 102 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:53,360 So yeah. 103 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:58,600 Okay when was the last time you binge ate peanut butter in a hotel room? 104 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,840 Never have. 105 00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:03,560 Neither have I. 106 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:07,480 I binge ate White Castle's in a hotel room. 107 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:12,680 I binge ate pizza in a hotel room. 108 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,960 But never peanut butter. 109 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,440 I'm not a big enough fan. 110 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:24,000 Okay well when I was working on the road by the time I got to the hotel room it was sharing 111 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,000 back. 112 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,000 So. 113 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,000 Mine was. 114 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,000 When I was proud of working. 115 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,000 You know. 116 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,000 Well. 117 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:40,240 I bought a case of White Castle's and I did not know we were going to leave the next day. 118 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:41,800 You know. 119 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:48,000 And I had nowhere to put them because we were flying to a different job. 120 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,240 Yeah. 121 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:52,800 And it was like a surprise one that we had to go to. 122 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:53,840 So I binge ate them. 123 00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:57,640 I had like I don't know ten of them left and I was like you know what I'm going to fucking 124 00:06:57,640 --> 00:06:58,640 eat these things. 125 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:00,080 I'm not wasting money. 126 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:03,520 I just bought these things thinking I was going to be here another three to four days. 127 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:06,000 You ate ten fucking White Castle's. 128 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,840 Oh my god dude I was so sick. 129 00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:08,840 And how much time? 130 00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:10,840 Um and probably about an hour. 131 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:12,880 That's a world record. 132 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,240 Oh it's got to be a world record. 133 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:19,640 I was burping onions on the plane and people are giving me dirty looks because they can 134 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,120 hear me kind of belching under my breath. 135 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:25,320 Oh my gosh. 136 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,760 So yeah anyhow. 137 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:31,440 And the sad thing is is I ate them in the morning because I fell asleep at night. 138 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:32,440 I was going to eat them at night. 139 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:33,440 In the morning? 140 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:34,440 Yes in the morning. 141 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:35,440 So. 142 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:39,240 You suffered all day dude. 143 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:40,240 I did. 144 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:41,240 I did. 145 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:48,640 Next one I got is a question. 146 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:52,840 Is cereal soup? 147 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,520 Cereal soup. 148 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:55,520 Think about it. 149 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:58,120 That's the vegetables or that's the meat. 150 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:04,040 Milk is the broth and the cereal is the meat or the vegetables. 151 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:05,040 Okay. 152 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:06,040 It isn't. 153 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:09,040 I was saying more alphabet. 154 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:16,880 Well yeah if it's Apple Jacks or something yeah. 155 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:18,360 I say no. 156 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:19,360 No. 157 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:22,960 And I don't really have a reason except no. 158 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:27,240 You gotta have the soup juice not milk. 159 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,640 Yeah yeah milk is not a soup juice. 160 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:30,640 That's what I said. 161 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:31,640 That's where I went. 162 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:32,640 I'm sticking with that too. 163 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:33,640 That's the one soup. 164 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:38,920 It's bullshit that anyone would even try to say that it's soup. 165 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:41,640 So anyone that's on that tip get the fuck out of here. 166 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,000 Nope we're not accepting it. 167 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,000 Nope. 168 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,440 Oh hey I got the answer to that. 169 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:47,440 What? 170 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:48,440 That's Gen Z. 171 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:49,440 Ah. 172 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:53,000 The ones that came up with that. 173 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,400 I'm sure it's that dumb isn't it. 174 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:58,200 Yes it is. 175 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:00,200 Yep. 176 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,200 Okay. 177 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:05,800 Alright. 178 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:13,120 What is the sexiest and least sexiest name? 179 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:18,840 For a man I'm gonna say Hank. 180 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:21,480 Hank sounds like yank. 181 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:23,600 Lady sexy. 182 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:25,600 Hank for a man. 183 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:32,480 Woman or Chet is another one Chet or Hank. 184 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:34,000 Uh woman I'm gonna say. 185 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,040 No Hank is worse. 186 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:37,760 Hank cause it sounds like yank. 187 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:38,760 Okay. 188 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:39,760 Yeah. 189 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:40,760 Uh Hank. 190 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:41,760 Bernice. 191 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:42,760 Bernice. 192 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:43,760 Bernice. 193 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:48,400 Bernice is horrible sounding. 194 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:54,880 I'm going with Hank and Bernice. 195 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:55,880 So Mel. 196 00:09:55,880 --> 00:10:02,040 This could be another one of those guitar stories that I'm still working on. 197 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:07,840 If you come up with, feel free to write these down and come up with your own. 198 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:12,240 By the way get ready, start getting your acoustic ready. 199 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:13,240 Okay. 200 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:15,440 Cause didn't we make a deal? 201 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,440 I do one one week. 202 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:18,440 Okay. 203 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:19,440 Is yours coming up? 204 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:23,760 I'm about ready to break out with my acoustic. 205 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:25,360 Okay don't say what it is yet. 206 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:26,360 Don't say what it is yet. 207 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:27,360 No I'm not. 208 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:28,360 I'm not. 209 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:29,360 I'm not. 210 00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:30,360 I'm not. 211 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:31,360 I'm not. 212 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:32,360 I'm not. 213 00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:33,360 I'm not. 214 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:35,560 But once you bring yours out, the next week I'll bring my melody out. 215 00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:37,480 Let's keep this rolling. 216 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,560 Okay you got yourself a deal. 217 00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:45,240 You break out the acoustic one and I will break out my acoustic one. 218 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:46,240 Okay. 219 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:49,040 I'll bring mine out two weeks from now. 220 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:52,200 Okay and then three weeks from now I'll have mine. 221 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:53,200 Right. 222 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:54,200 I've already got the first. 223 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,240 That's a good time to work on. 224 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:59,760 Yeah I've already got, you know what I can't say anymore. 225 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:00,760 Yeah. 226 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:01,760 We've been working on it. 227 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:02,760 Yeah yeah. 228 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:03,760 We both have. 229 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:07,200 Yeah but I was throwing some different curves like you. 230 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,200 Yours is going to top mine. 231 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:09,200 Yours is going to top mine. 232 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:10,200 No I don't know. 233 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:11,200 I don't know. 234 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:15,520 You're putting a lot more thought into this than me by the way you're talking. 235 00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:17,680 I don't know if I'm going to honestly. 236 00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:18,680 Well. 237 00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:19,680 Some of the routes. 238 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:20,680 I brought it to Zach Wild last week. 239 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:29,200 No I know but some of the routes you were going that you were talking to me before Zach 240 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:34,800 Wild kind of got me caught me off guard and made me think. 241 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:40,920 No dude I'm going to every, no see this, that's why this is taking so long. 242 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:41,920 I know. 243 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:42,920 I know. 244 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:43,920 It's fine. 245 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:44,920 You threw this on me. 246 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:45,920 I'm going to put it here. 247 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:46,920 I'm thinking. 248 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:52,120 Okay I'm thinking all style of music. 249 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,240 This is why I did this. 250 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:55,720 This is why I want this done. 251 00:11:55,720 --> 00:12:00,920 But then I start throwing in other music. 252 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:05,080 Then I start throwing in country and I. 253 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:10,640 Dude I've got all genres going and it's totally confusing. 254 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:13,480 But I'm worth, no I'm willing it down. 255 00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:21,600 Two weeks from now I will have your two stick lead guitar. 256 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:22,600 Okay. 257 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:23,600 Okay. 258 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:24,600 Okay. 259 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:25,600 Okay. 260 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:26,600 Alright. 261 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:27,600 Alright. 262 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:28,600 Enough of that. 263 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:29,600 Enough of that. 264 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:32,040 We'll move on because I got mine coming up right after that and okay. 265 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:33,040 Oh. 266 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:38,600 No no no no what I'm saying is let's keep doing what we're doing here because I don't 267 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:39,600 want to get. 268 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,720 We've been talking about it a little too much. 269 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:42,720 Yeah. 270 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,760 And also if people don't know what we're talking about then they're going to be going 271 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:47,800 well I don't know what it is. 272 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:51,280 And if people figure it out then we're fucked too because we don't want to figure it out. 273 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:52,880 We want to spring it on them. 274 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:53,880 So let's just stop. 275 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:56,880 Well I plan on keeping this going past this. 276 00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:57,880 Me too. 277 00:12:57,880 --> 00:12:58,880 Me too. 278 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,880 Now you're getting what I'm saying is this is a forever. 279 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:06,600 Different instruments and bands. 280 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:09,040 This is a forever subject that we can always bring up. 281 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:10,040 Yes it is. 282 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,200 Yes it is and we're going to. 283 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:19,800 Okay next one is what conspiracy would you like to start. 284 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:20,800 I got one. 285 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:21,800 I got one. 286 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:22,800 Uh oh. 287 00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:23,800 Uh oh. 288 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:24,800 Uh oh. 289 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:25,800 Yeah. 290 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:26,800 Okay. 291 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:35,120 Vladimir Putin is secretly living in the U.S. He had a face change and he is living somewhere 292 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:37,960 in Cincinnati right now. 293 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:42,640 And he is calling in all the orders from Cincinnati. 294 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:43,640 Yours? 295 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:54,360 I don't know if I can top that one. 296 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:57,880 Well you didn't give me no heads up on this. 297 00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:58,880 I'm just. 298 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,640 I just thought of this. 299 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:05,760 I wrote down these questions three months ago and I just found them because I took the 300 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,760 wrong notebook with me. 301 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:12,440 So you saw them on me. 302 00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:13,440 Thanks. 303 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:16,440 Let's see here. 304 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,200 Let me see. 305 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:20,200 Okay. 306 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:21,200 Now you. 307 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,200 Okay this is. 308 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:27,200 Oh shit. 309 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:35,080 I may have to get back. 310 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:36,080 Okay that's fine. 311 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:37,080 That's fine. 312 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:40,000 I don't know why I dug that one up but it's cool. 313 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,400 What was the question? 314 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,320 What conspiracy would you like. 315 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:48,600 What secret conspiracy would you like to start? 316 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:54,880 And mine is Vladimir Putin has had a face change and is secretly living in Cincinnati 317 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:58,880 and blowing in the orders to Russia. 318 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:01,080 Got you. 319 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:03,800 Got you. 320 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,400 Okay next. 321 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:07,080 Is a hot dog a sandwich? 322 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:08,080 Why or why not? 323 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,080 Yes it is. 324 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:10,080 Yes it is. 325 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:15,400 Okay here's the route I'm going. 326 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:20,800 A hot dog is only a sandwich when it's not on a hot dog bun. 327 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:26,640 If it's on a hamburger bun or if it's between two pieces of white bread or just flat bread, 328 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:30,680 cut bread, regular bread, wheat bread or whatever then it's a sandwich. 329 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:35,280 So you're saying no on the hot dog? 330 00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:38,320 I'm saying if it's on a hot dog bun it is not a sandwich. 331 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:39,440 It's a hot dog. 332 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,880 It's a hot dog on a hot dog bun. 333 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:47,080 But if a hot dog is on a regular piece of bread or a hamburger bun then it becomes a 334 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:48,080 sandwich. 335 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:54,800 Well Mark that's the first time we disagree on that topic. 336 00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:55,800 That's fine. 337 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:56,800 Go ahead. 338 00:15:56,800 --> 00:16:00,840 Hot dog is on bread. 339 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:06,120 If it's in a bun it's in between two pieces of bread. 340 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:07,120 It's a sandwich. 341 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:08,120 Okay. 342 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:14,480 That's the first time I've got to disagree with you. 343 00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:18,240 Probably all of our lives. 344 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:19,760 It's fine to disagree with me. 345 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:20,760 I love it. 346 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:25,000 Honestly that's probably the first time we've disagreed in all of our lives. 347 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,480 Me and Topher had plenty of stuff we disagreed on. 348 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:31,000 I mean there's a lot of stuff we disagree on but it was fine. 349 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,000 I mean you know the whole thing. 350 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,000 I don't know. 351 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,960 I'm not planning on disagreeing with you but everything we agree on. 352 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:37,960 I know. 353 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:38,960 So it's fine. 354 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:42,440 I will call a hot dog a sandwich. 355 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:50,320 Okay I'm sticking with mine that I'm only calling it if it's on a sandwich type of material. 356 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:51,320 Somebody call us. 357 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:52,320 What is now? 358 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:53,960 Oh that's another thing. 359 00:16:53,960 --> 00:17:01,480 When I get the hotmail email or whatever it is to Goyne then people can email us. 360 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:09,760 It's really weird to get on that GoDaddy site and to email because it comes out differently 361 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:13,240 and a lot of times it bounces back like we're not there. 362 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:18,200 I found this out because I set up a fake email to see what's going on because it would tell 363 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:19,960 me I had five messages. 364 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:23,400 Then I would get there and they would be like encrypted or something and it would be like 365 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,360 wait what you know. 366 00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:27,080 Now what the hell? 367 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:32,520 So I made up a fake email and I sent it to me and it did the same thing. 368 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:35,560 So we're getting messages they're just not getting through. 369 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:39,960 I got a hold of GoDaddy and they gave me this big rigmarole about you know hey you need 370 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:41,600 to get a web designer and all this stuff. 371 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:49,080 I'm like well you know what maybe I do but that's not in the cards right now because 372 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:52,720 we're not that big of an operation yet. 373 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,960 So we're working on it. 374 00:17:55,960 --> 00:18:00,480 You brought out the demographics a couple shows ago. 375 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,760 Yeah you know what I mean I'm pretty impressed. 376 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:05,840 I was impressed with the numbers you read. 377 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:07,320 It really was. 378 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:11,960 And you know what I will give you all the. 379 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,840 And that was you and Topher. 380 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:19,480 Well yeah yeah and you too like I said our numbers are almost identical between you and 381 00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:20,480 Topher. 382 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:22,920 So I mean the same people. 383 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:27,000 No no no no I can't compare the two. 384 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:30,880 You're two totally different people and it's different podcasts. 385 00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:33,160 The only thing it's the same as me. 386 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:35,160 But the numbers are the same. 387 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:40,360 Topher and I went into a lot more serious subjects where you and I are just like just 388 00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:43,680 having fun just bullshitting and stuff. 389 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:48,720 Maybe later on we will get into more of the stuff like Topher did or maybe Topher will 390 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:50,600 come back and do it but whatever. 391 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:53,680 I have serious stuff like Topher did. 392 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:56,560 That's fine and you know what you're welcome to bring him out too. 393 00:18:56,560 --> 00:19:03,360 Well we will but I want to make sure Topher is where Topher is at. 394 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:10,200 You know what my main concern is Topher is one of my better friends and I want him to 395 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:13,880 be okay and that's all I really give a shit about. 396 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,560 Everything else will come in time. 397 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:19,560 So anyhow okay I've got the next one. 398 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,520 What's the best wifi name ever and I got it. 399 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,760 I got it because it's right next to me. 400 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:26,760 Yours? 401 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,080 Yes, it's not mine. 402 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:32,240 It's someone right next to me. 403 00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:37,200 It's FBI secret surveillance wifi. 404 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,240 What? 405 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:42,760 FBI secret surveillance wifi. 406 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:46,680 I don't think it's a I guess it could be but why would they name it that if they're a secret 407 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:47,680 surveillance. 408 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:51,680 Did you check into that? 409 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:53,000 I have no way to. 410 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,720 How can I I have no way to. 411 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:59,840 They're knocking on doors and go hey are you the FBI that's on the wifi? 412 00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:00,840 Yeah. 413 00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:01,840 I love that one. 414 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:02,840 That is good. 415 00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:03,840 That is good. 416 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:04,840 Do you got one or not? 417 00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:05,840 I don't know. 418 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:06,840 I don't know. 419 00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:07,840 I don't know. 420 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:08,840 I don't know. 421 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:09,840 I don't know. 422 00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:12,840 Do you got one or not? 423 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:15,840 Oh, not on this subject. 424 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,840 I wasn't expecting this. 425 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:18,840 Okay. 426 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:20,160 I'll go to the next one is what I'm saying. 427 00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:21,160 It's fine. 428 00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:22,160 Yeah, go for it. 429 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,160 This one's all you. 430 00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:24,160 Okay. 431 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:29,640 What's invisible but you wish people could see? 432 00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:31,960 I've got a really good one. 433 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:32,960 Farts. 434 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:33,960 Farts. 435 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:34,960 Farts. 436 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:35,960 Gas. 437 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:36,960 Oh, oh, farts. 438 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:37,960 Gas. 439 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:38,960 Gas. 440 00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:39,960 Farts. 441 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:40,960 Yeah. 442 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:41,960 Would that be excellent? 443 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:42,960 Or boners. 444 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:43,960 Boners. 445 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:51,760 Like, like, like it would be on their forehead. 446 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:56,320 If a guy cops a boner all of a sudden it pops up on his forehead like in like I don't know 447 00:20:56,320 --> 00:21:01,600 neon orange or something and orange penis like goes. 448 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:04,840 Farts or boners? 449 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:08,880 That should be the name of the podcast, Farts and Boners. 450 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:09,880 What else? 451 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:12,880 Farts and boners and a microphone. 452 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:17,880 Well, you mentioned if Topher comes back we flip off and do our own thing. 453 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,880 We can be farts and boners and a microphone. 454 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:20,880 There you go. 455 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:24,880 Well, like a new promo that I had our voice guy cut is. 456 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:27,880 No, no, no, let's just leave it farts and boners. 457 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,880 Yeah, yeah, yeah, no microphone. 458 00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:32,880 Yeah, that microphone is too good for that. 459 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:34,880 And I'm not going to go to the new promo. 460 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:35,880 I'm just going to. 461 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:36,880 No. 462 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,880 I'm just going to re-record it on this format. 463 00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:40,880 What weird smelling ideas are there? 464 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:41,880 Yeah. 465 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:42,880 Okay. 466 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:43,880 In case. 467 00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:45,880 What's the weirdest smell you've ever smelled? 468 00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:48,880 And I have a definite answer on that one too. 469 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:49,880 Do you? 470 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:56,880 The weirdest smell you've ever smelled. 471 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,880 Okay. 472 00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:10,880 I've got one. 473 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:11,880 Meth. 474 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,880 Meth and crack. 475 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:18,880 I've smelled them both and they are the oddest fucking weirdest smell ever. 476 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,880 Horrible. 477 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:27,880 And people that do it, it permeates their hair, their skin, their clothes, their teeth, their 478 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,880 air canals. 479 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:33,880 It's the chemicals in it, I believe. 480 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:35,880 It is. 481 00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:36,880 Yeah. 482 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,880 I would say that it would probably be meth and or crack. 483 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:45,880 I'm not going to tell you I know that one, but you just distracted me from my answer 484 00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:47,880 once again. 485 00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:49,880 That's what I do. 486 00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:50,880 You're awesome, man. 487 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:52,880 I love you. 488 00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:53,880 You know what? 489 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:54,880 It's working. 490 00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:59,880 I listen back to our podcasts and I think they're fantastic. 491 00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:01,880 I mean, they're great. 492 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,880 I mean, whatever formula we got going. 493 00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:06,880 You keep telling me I'm growing. 494 00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:07,880 You are. 495 00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:09,880 And I keep listening. 496 00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:11,880 Yeah, I am. 497 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:12,880 Yeah. 498 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:15,880 They told me to go this shit out of nowhere. 499 00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:21,880 It's fine because there's got to be, in every podcast, there's got to be a lead guy and 500 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:26,880 there's got to be the other guy that absorbs the shit that the lead guy throws at him, 501 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:27,880 right? 502 00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:28,880 Right. 503 00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:31,880 And he does the best he can to make it through. 504 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:32,880 Yes. 505 00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:33,880 But... 506 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:34,880 Now, one of these days... 507 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,880 I don't know about that answer. 508 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:38,880 I mean, shit. 509 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:45,880 There's a reason I don't know about that answer. 510 00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:52,880 To be honest, years ago I used to do math. 511 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:53,880 Okay. 512 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:56,880 I'm a recovered addict. 513 00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:58,880 Well, addict. 514 00:23:58,880 --> 00:23:59,880 Okay. 515 00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:00,880 Could that have been when you... 516 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:02,880 I've been testing it in years. 517 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:03,880 Okay. 518 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:05,880 So that's why I'm kind of... 519 00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:06,880 I'll ask you... 520 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:07,880 I can make a lot of difference. 521 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:08,880 Hang on. 522 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:09,880 Let me put this on pause for a second. 523 00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:11,880 I've got a question to ask you personally. 524 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:12,880 Good. 525 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:13,880 Good. 526 00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:14,880 Yeah. 527 00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:15,880 I'll answer it. 528 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:16,880 All right. 529 00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:19,880 I've got one more question and then we can call this thing a wrap up for tonight. 530 00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:22,880 And like I said, we'll figure out the next time we do it. 531 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:24,880 Oh, actually, I have two more questions. 532 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:26,880 Is that all right? 533 00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:27,880 Yeah. 534 00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:28,880 Do whatever. 535 00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:31,880 If animals could talk, who would be the rudest? 536 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:35,880 I'm going to say an owl. 537 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:41,880 Of just animals around here, an owl to me looks like it would think you're a dumbass 538 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:45,880 where you looked at it and talked to it. 539 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:50,880 I'm going to say an owl. 540 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:51,880 Yeah. 541 00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:52,880 Okay. 542 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:53,880 You know what? 543 00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:54,880 I'm going to... 544 00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:55,880 You know what? 545 00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:57,880 Because they're stupid and they think we're stupid. 546 00:24:57,880 --> 00:24:58,880 You know what? 547 00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:00,880 That's a pretty good point there. 548 00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:01,880 Yeah. 549 00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:02,880 All right. 550 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:03,880 Okay. 551 00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:04,880 All right. 552 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:05,880 I think you... 553 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:06,880 I want too many cartoons. 554 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:07,880 I think you won that one. 555 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:08,880 That one right there, I think. 556 00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:09,880 We give to you. 557 00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:10,880 That was pretty good. 558 00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:11,880 Okay. 559 00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:17,880 This next one is an age-old question here. 560 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:21,880 And there's no really direct clear answer. 561 00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:26,880 Toilet paper, over or under? 562 00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:30,880 Over. 563 00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:35,880 I'm an under guy. 564 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:37,880 But that's fine. 565 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:44,880 I've seen graphics on Facebook where they show the original, supposedly. 566 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:46,880 Which is the original? 567 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:47,880 Is it over? 568 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:48,880 Which is over. 569 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:49,880 Okay. 570 00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:52,880 Look, it doesn't bother me because I'll use either. 571 00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:54,880 That's Facebook, man. 572 00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:56,880 Yeah, that's true. 573 00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:57,880 I'll use either. 574 00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:03,880 If I'm in a restroom, like a store or something, and I got to go, I'll use either. 575 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:05,880 It's like over or under. 576 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:06,880 I don't care. 577 00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:08,880 I guess, really, it doesn't matter that much. 578 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:12,880 I will not take any liberty to change it to under if it's over. 579 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:13,880 So, actually... 580 00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:16,880 Honestly, it could be sitting on the counter. 581 00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:17,880 And I'll die. 582 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:18,880 I'll do it. 583 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:19,880 Yes, the same here. 584 00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:20,880 Just saying. 585 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:23,880 And here, the next one, I like this. 586 00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:27,880 What's the best inside joke you've been a part of? 587 00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:29,880 And I've got a definite one on this. 588 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:33,880 And it was when we were playing that trick on Sam, the security guard. 589 00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,880 Do you remember that little bastard at Bannister Mall? 590 00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:37,880 Oh, dude, dude. 591 00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:40,880 Sam was so many of the butt jokes. 592 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:41,880 Oh. 593 00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:48,880 When we were playing that joke on him, and everybody thought that he was a secret MTV 594 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:49,880 guy, and we had everybody... 595 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:55,880 I'm surprised he did not die at the mall from all of us. 596 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:57,880 I'll tell you why he got fired. 597 00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:01,880 I'm surprised he didn't have a damn motor taxi. 598 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:03,880 He was harassing a girl. 599 00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:04,880 Sexually harassing her. 600 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:05,880 Oh, okay. 601 00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:06,880 Constantly. 602 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:07,880 Yes. 603 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:11,880 We're not saying any last names, so it's not going to matter. 604 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:16,880 So, this is the word on the street that he was sexually harassing a girl. 605 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:18,880 And we didn't say any last names anyhow. 606 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:19,880 This was in the 80s. 607 00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:20,880 No, no, no, no. 608 00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:26,880 But the word on the street was he was sexually harassing a girl, and she filed charges on 609 00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:29,880 him, and he had to quit. 610 00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:32,880 See, I did not know that. 611 00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:36,880 All I know is we all used to bug the fuck out of him. 612 00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:37,880 Yes. 613 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:40,880 And we all loved it, and it was the thing, man. 614 00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:41,880 Everybody did it. 615 00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:46,880 Yeah, so now you see what I'm saying is the biggest inside joke around was this guy's 616 00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:47,880 a tool bag, you fuck with him. 617 00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:52,880 Yeah, but then you say that, and you're like, what? 618 00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:56,880 Well, I mean, like I said, it's word on the street. 619 00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:58,880 I don't know for sure. 620 00:27:58,880 --> 00:27:59,880 That was word on the street. 621 00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:00,880 Maybe he wasn't. 622 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:01,880 Right, right. 623 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:02,880 Maybe someone came up with that. 624 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:03,880 They didn't like him. 625 00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:05,880 A lot of people didn't like him. 626 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:09,880 But that was my understanding was that was it. 627 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:11,880 So, okay, who knows? 628 00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:15,880 Yeah, see, well, you and me were a little different. 629 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:19,880 We fucked with him, but we kind of liked him. 630 00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:20,880 You know what? 631 00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:26,880 After he took me to court trying to kick me out for good, and after I won that, I did 632 00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:27,880 like him. 633 00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:28,880 And you know why? 634 00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:30,880 A lot of other people just fucked with him. 635 00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:37,880 Because here's why I eventually liked him a little bit, was because he told me that 636 00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:43,880 I was the most persistent motherfucker he ever knew in his life, and then I drove him 637 00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:44,880 nuts. 638 00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:52,880 But he said a secret part of him envied me because of my audacity and my will to never 639 00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:53,880 quit. 640 00:28:53,880 --> 00:29:00,880 And I looked at him and I said, do you want a hug? 641 00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:03,880 And he goes, fuck no. 642 00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:05,880 I love it. 643 00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:07,880 I love it. 644 00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:10,880 He did not want a hug. 645 00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:11,880 Hell no. 646 00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:12,880 Hell no. 647 00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:17,880 But at least he was man enough to admit that to me. 648 00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:23,880 So, anyhow, on that note, I think... 649 00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:26,880 Did you talk to him the rest of the time? 650 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:32,880 Well, the only reason I ever talked to him and the whole reason was to heckle him. 651 00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:37,680 And then he ended up talking back a little bit, and then ended up to where we talked 652 00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:40,880 a little bit, and then that's when he told me that. 653 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:41,880 And I was like, okay. 654 00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:45,880 And the second one was Babel Snatch with Paul at 7-Eleven. 655 00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:46,880 Oh, God. 656 00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:50,880 And the thing about Paul is he never knew I played that joke on him. 657 00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:52,880 He didn't have an idea at all. 658 00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:56,880 He didn't know it was me, and he never liked me, and he never knew it was me. 659 00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:58,880 He never liked me before that. 660 00:29:58,880 --> 00:29:59,880 He never liked me after. 661 00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:03,880 He never had a reason unless someone said something to him which wasn't true. 662 00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:06,880 I was just trying to get the guy to like me for unknown reason. 663 00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:07,880 Now I wouldn't give a shit. 664 00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:09,880 I'd be like, all right, I guess I don't like him either. 665 00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:13,880 But at the time, I'm like baffled like this guy hates me. 666 00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:15,880 Everybody loves me, but this guy fucking hates me. 667 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:21,880 So since I heard the podcast and I got to remember it about Babel Snatch, 668 00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:24,880 I'm thinking about bringing it back. 669 00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:26,880 That would be excellent. 670 00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:31,880 No, I mean all the highways between here and there, 671 00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:40,880 all the little gas stations, I'm telling you about having fun. 672 00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:43,880 Let's come up with a fake website about Babel Snatch. 673 00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:44,880 That way people are looking up. 674 00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:47,880 First, let's set some groundwork down first. 675 00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:48,880 You do that. 676 00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:49,880 Okay. 677 00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:50,880 You work on that. 678 00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:52,880 You got the technology I don't. 679 00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:53,880 Yes. 680 00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:59,880 I'm going to work on a website for Babel Snatch, and then we'll take it from there. 681 00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:00,880 Let's do it. 682 00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:01,880 Okay. 683 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:05,880 On that note, everybody have a great evening, and this has been a fun podcast. 684 00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:07,880 I'm wore the fuck out. 685 00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:10,880 I got a dental appointment at 8 in the morning, so I am going to bed, 686 00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:12,880 and then I got to go to work right after that. 687 00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:17,880 I'm getting up at 4 a.m. to be able to sleep. 688 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:18,880 Okay. 689 00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:19,880 Let me stress this again. 690 00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:21,880 You guys are getting your money's worth. 691 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:22,880 It's free. 692 00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:25,880 We're at quarter to 11 right now. 693 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:26,880 Yes. 694 00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:27,880 So, nighty night. 695 00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:28,880 Good night, everybody. 696 00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:29,880 Love you. 697 00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:30,880 Love you. 698 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:34,880 Thanks for listening, even though we always talk bad. 699 00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:35,880 Bye. 700 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:45,880 Like stated before, if you believe anything we say or think this podcast anything other 701 00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:53,880 than hyperbole, parody, and just plain stupidness, you're dumber than us, 702 00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:56,880 and that's hard to believe. 703 00:31:56,880 --> 00:32:00,880 Two monkey fuckers and a toaster will be right back. 704 00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:03,880 Two douchebags and a microphone, says. 705 00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:08,880 You ever dream about eating chocolate pudding and wake up with a spoon in your ass? 706 00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:12,880 Just asking. 707 00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:13,880 Hey there. 708 00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:19,880 This is Mark, and this is a segment, a new segment that I came up with that I choose 709 00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:22,880 to call I Don't Believe That. 710 00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:27,880 I think you know in how cynical this program is exactly where I'm going with this. 711 00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:32,880 So, without any further ado, let me introduce my first one. 712 00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:39,880 I don't believe that Joe Biden could pass a mental competency test. 713 00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:41,880 I sound like I can't pass one. 714 00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:45,880 But anyhow, yeah, I do not believe he can be competent for a test. 715 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:50,880 So, I think I'm probably not the only one that came up with this, and this is easy pickings. 716 00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:53,880 You know, I mean, everybody kind of knows it. 717 00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:58,880 They see the guys stumbling around and not making sense half the time and walking in 718 00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:03,880 the wrong areas and saying off the wall stuff that doesn't make sense. 719 00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:07,880 Like I said, anybody could figure this out. 720 00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:12,880 Why the guy is running again is beyond me, and why people are supporting him is even 721 00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:14,880 more beyond me. 722 00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:19,880 I mean, this guy is, I mean, look at him. 723 00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:22,880 Yeah, he's crackers and crayons. 724 00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:26,880 So, anyhow, I'll just go on from that one. 725 00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:30,880 I think everybody sees that, and if you're halfway intelligent, you agree with it. 726 00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:36,880 If you really look at it and you don't look at it through blue shades, you'll see my point of view. 727 00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:41,880 But the problem is there's too many people who look through things at blue and red shades only. 728 00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:42,880 You know, that's it. 729 00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:45,880 You know, they're like, oh, they're blue, so they're good. 730 00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:48,880 Well, that's the thing that got us in the mess we're at right now. 731 00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:52,880 The mess that we're at right now is probably undigable to get out of. 732 00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:58,880 So I'm telling you, you know, you're going to see more and more of what I'm talking about, 733 00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:05,880 because things are colliding very fast and very dangerously and kind of scary, really. 734 00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:06,880 A lot of stuff happened. 735 00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:08,880 Keep your eyes open, guys. 736 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:09,880 Keep your eyes open. 737 00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:12,880 So, OK, my second one. 738 00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:15,880 I don't believe that the government passes any law to help us. 739 00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:18,880 The laws are to control us. 740 00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:22,880 And if you really think about it, think about all the laws they pass. 741 00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:25,880 They tout this is going to help the people. 742 00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:29,880 But if you really look at it on the surface, it's only to control us. 743 00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:34,880 One way or another for their own agenda, they need us controlled. 744 00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,880 And they do it all the time. 745 00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:39,880 And they do it more and more. 746 00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:41,880 And they don't even mask anything anymore. 747 00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:46,880 A lot of times they say what they're going to do when the public is dumb enough to go along and just go, OK, all right, well, all right. 748 00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:48,880 Well, they say it's OK. 749 00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:50,880 So we're going to go ahead and go with it. 750 00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:52,880 Wrong answer. 751 00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:54,880 Wrong answer. 752 00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:56,880 So, my third one. 753 00:34:56,880 --> 00:35:06,880 I don't believe that Democrats care one ounce of shit about the border crossers, but only care about harvesting votes. 754 00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:08,880 I really believe that to be true. 755 00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:11,880 There might be a lot of people think I'm way off, but no, I've examined it. 756 00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:12,880 I've looked at it. 757 00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:17,880 And if you really gave a shit about them, you would find a good way to process them. 758 00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:22,880 And the ones that are coming over here to work and want to work and want to raise a family will be over here. 759 00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:26,880 And the ones that are over here to cause trouble or have a huge criminal background will not be. 760 00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:34,880 But the focus is not on them because all they do is just try to get enough people over here and then find a way for them to vote. 761 00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:39,880 So, anyhow. 762 00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:40,880 Next one. 763 00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:49,880 I don't believe that Republicans care one ounce of shit about the border crossers, but only care about cheap labor. 764 00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:53,880 And if anyone's known one of these people, I'm sure everyone's known one of these people. 765 00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:58,880 The other ones that go to church on Sunday and go, oh my God, I love you, God. 766 00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:01,880 I pray for those poor brown people crossing the border. 767 00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:09,880 And then they hire him for pennies on the dollar while their families starve and work him 80, 90, 100 hours a week. 768 00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:14,880 And don't pay him as much as the people around him happens all the time. 769 00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:15,880 And I got some people right. 770 00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:20,880 I mean, I'll just leave it right there. 771 00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:23,880 I may or may not have worked for some people like that. 772 00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:32,880 So I don't believe that a large bag of Doritos is even half full of product, but is over half full of air. 773 00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:38,880 That one again, easy pickings, easy to see. 774 00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:42,880 We all know it, but we all still buy it, don't we? 775 00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:49,880 I think if we leave the shit alone for a couple of months and let him give him something to think about, they'll quit this false narrative on that. 776 00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:53,880 I mean, I know it's not that big a deal, Doritos, but you know what? 777 00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:54,880 I mean, I'm just sick of it. 778 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:58,880 You go in and buy a huge bag and then you get home and there's five chips in it. 779 00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:00,880 I think everybody can relate to that. 780 00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:09,880 So next one, I do not believe if I take one pill, the sun will shine on my asshole and angels will comb my hair. 781 00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:12,880 I believe it's all profit oriented. 782 00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:14,880 All of it. 783 00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:19,880 A little bit later on in this broadcast, you're going to hear something about Jardian or maybe I did it. 784 00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:23,880 I think I might have done the Jardian one podcast or two ago. 785 00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:30,880 Well, anyhow, someway, somehow, if you listen to this program, you're going to hear about Jardian and how the sun will shine on your asshole. 786 00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:36,880 If you take one pill and the angels will come out and play for you and comb your hair and whistle. 787 00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:50,880 And yeah, so anyhow, evidently having a bad A1C is a beautiful thing and people enjoy the hell out of it, according to these commercials. 788 00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:53,880 All right, let's see. 789 00:37:53,880 --> 00:38:07,880 I do not believe that there is one person that has authority, government, judge or business that has not lied to benefit themselves. 790 00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:09,880 I believe that to be wholly true. 791 00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:11,880 100 percent true. 792 00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:24,880 Anyone that is in any type of power at all has lied and contorted things to benefit themselves because that's what their nature is and they can't help it. 793 00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:33,880 And that's the way that things are done in this type of world is you have to lie, cheat and steal to get your way to the top. 794 00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:35,880 And it's the truth. 795 00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:40,880 So anyone that you see out there with any title at all, just know they're liars. 796 00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:42,880 And they're not in your best interest. 797 00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:48,880 They're in their best interest. 798 00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:53,880 OK, I do not believe that tap water is perfectly safe to drink. 799 00:38:53,880 --> 00:39:04,880 I believe that people are full of shit when they couldn't get one crap about waters or chemicals in the water. 800 00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:11,880 I mean, look at Flint, Michigan, but the thing is, is that's just only a small little detail of everything that goes on. 801 00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:19,880 I mean, I believe that I mean here in Kansas City, I know our water lines are what, like 60 years old or something. 802 00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:22,880 So you can only imagine what's in there. 803 00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:25,880 All the corrosion, everything, lead, what have you. 804 00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:27,880 I mean, you know, they used to make pipes out of lead. 805 00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:29,880 Yeah, lead pipes. 806 00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:32,880 And our water is probably going through them to a certain degree. 807 00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:36,880 Maybe not 100 percent, but maybe 20 percent. 808 00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:41,880 And then who knows what all the other chemicals they put in there. 809 00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:44,880 And the thing is, is they don't care. 810 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:47,880 They never did. 811 00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:51,880 So my last but not least one. 812 00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:54,880 I do not believe that the Royals belong in Major League play. 813 00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:57,880 They might be a decent minor league team at best. 814 00:39:57,880 --> 00:40:00,880 They might be able to challenge the Monarchs, maybe. 815 00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:05,880 But I have my doubts about that. 816 00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:10,880 Yeah, it's a pretty sad thing there, I can tell you that. 817 00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:17,880 You know, I'm all for getting to downtown stadium or close to downtown because, you know, you go to. 818 00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:21,880 When I used to go out of town for work, I went to as many stadiums as I could. 819 00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:25,880 Yankee Stadium, Coors Field in Colorado. 820 00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:27,880 Over on the West Coast, I went into some fields. 821 00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:32,880 I mean, you know, and the downtown stadiums just have an energy about them. 822 00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:39,880 They have all these businesses around them and it's downtown and people are getting off work and just walking over to the stadium and going to the game. 823 00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:41,880 And it's a really electrifying atmosphere. 824 00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:44,880 I mean, that Coors Field was just dynamite. 825 00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:48,880 It was opening day when I was there with me and my friend Sandor. 826 00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:52,880 And we we went to like the third game of the season there. 827 00:40:52,880 --> 00:41:02,880 And it was just electric because it's downtown and there's all these microbreweries all around there and people just getting lit and people taking off work early. 828 00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:06,880 And I mean, and then there's all these other places, too, that I went. 829 00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:08,880 Now, Yankee Stadium is a little bit different. 830 00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:09,880 It's a little ways out. 831 00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:18,880 But, you know, that's all they could do there is because, you know, the metropolitan New York area is so huge that it's probably the only place they could really fit it. 832 00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:24,880 And they have all the trains going there. But I mean, there's a lot of other stadiums. 833 00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:26,880 Miller Stadium, Milwaukee, downtown. 834 00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:32,880 I mean, White Sox, all these stadiums, the Cubbies, all of them. 835 00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:35,880 And I think Kansas City deserves that. 836 00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:44,880 But what we deserve before that is a competitive team, maybe not even a team that goes to a perennial playoff team, but just a team that's ended in late August. 837 00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:48,880 You know, that would be nice. 838 00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:50,880 So anyhow, this is Mark. 839 00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:55,880 And this is my I do not believe segment that you're going to hear more and more coming up. 840 00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:59,880 So I will talk to you guys. 841 00:41:59,880 --> 00:42:02,880 Well, you know what? This is probably going to be located in the middle of the podcast. 842 00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:04,880 So I don't have to say anything. 843 00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:05,880 Bye. 844 00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:10,880 Hello, this is Satan. 845 00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:15,880 You might know me from my pet name inflation. 846 00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:26,880 I'm going to tell you that there's no better way to relax than listening to two douchebags and microphone by a nice warm fire at night. 847 00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:31,880 I sit there and I reflect on all the cells I burned that day. 848 00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:33,880 Enjoy. 849 00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:38,880 As much fun as an electric can opener to the scrotum. 850 00:42:38,880 --> 00:43:04,880 When taking a shower, remember to scrub your asshole with soapy water because nobody likes a sticky asshole. 851 00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:08,880 Hey, where do they go? Where the douchebags? 852 00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:11,880 Oh my God. Someone took a dump in the corner. 853 00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:13,880 Oh, geez. 854 00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:15,880 Oh, glad they're gone. 855 00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:17,880 Let's just hope they don't come back. 856 00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:34,880 Oh, man, that smells.