Live from the historic River Market District in downtown Kansas City, Missouri,
from the banks of the beautiful Crystal Blue Walkers of the Missouri River,
it is Two Douchebags and Microphone Podcast.
As much fun as an electric can opener to the scrotum,
two douchebags and a microphone.
Not responsible for greasy residue left on your Bluetooth.
No! No!
Alright, two douchebags and a microphone. I am Mark.
And I'm Bob.
Welcome to the program. Alright, thanks for coming back.
Sometimes I wonder why people do.
Now, actually, I listened to our last three podcasts.
I think they're pretty solid. I like them.
Yeah, they're getting there.
You know, we've got to work on our chemistry a little bit more
because me and Topher had the chemistry down perfectly.
And it takes a little bit to get there because our first few podcasts
were not a disaster, but not nearly what would you call stellar.
And then later on, you know, but you know, I talked to Topher the other day
and I think he's going to come back to the podcast, but a little bit later.
He's got some stuff going on and we all wish him well
and he's still a great friend and everything,
but he's going to sit out for a little while and that's fine.
Me and Rob got it.
And whoever else we can sucker into calling in or whatever,
find out at the city market and grab them by their Scotty
and pull them in or whatever.
So anyhow, so right now, just your luck. It's me and Rob.
And I'm sure everyone's thinking that, right?
Yep, yep, I see that. All of a sudden our numbers fell to zero, Rob.
What do we do?
So anyhow, one of the first stories I want to lead off with today is
good old Aaron Rodgers. He's been a lot of fun, hasn't he?
Oh, yeah.
One thing after another after another, he knows, he knows exactly what shoe
to stick in what side of his mouth exactly when. It's been awesome.
He's been a podcasters, a fucking media person, anybody.
He's been their dream because he's been doing shit that makes people talk.
And he's been doing it for a while now.
And well, he's got another one now.
So Aaron Rodgers is going to be a guest speaker at a psychedelic mushroom conference.
What do you think of that?
Oh, this is going to be good.
Yes, I agree, too.
I've got to get this video and I've got to watch it.
And I got to find out if we can non-trademark it or if it's non-trademarked,
because I would love to play that on this podcast, wouldn't you?
A-Rod said that using psychedelics helped him ease his fear of death.
Yeah, I didn't expect I didn't expect him to go that route.
I felt like maybe, you know, yeah, before a game, I get so amped up
and I get the jitters and psychedelics help me put my mind together and calm down.
Now, now, this fear of being put in the fucking ground in a dirt and half is what what got him to do psychedelics.
And he's what, 39?
Yeah, I think he is 39.
He's at least 38, if not 39.
Yeah.
NFL quarterback Aaron Rodgers said this week that using psychedelics helped him alleviate a fear of death
that he's had lived with since he was a teenager.
So he's had this for a long time.
So and I think, look, I think everyone has a certain fear of death.
And the reason is, is what I always used to tell people was this right here.
The biggest problem with death is no one jumped back up afterwards, like a couple of years later and said, Hey, guys, it's cool.
Man, it's a breeze. No big deal.
Man, here's what happens.
You know, first thing, everything goes black.
OK, and then all of a sudden you wake up and you're whole different.
Like all sudden you see all these people that went before you and they're all, you know, grabbing you and give you big hugs
and welcome you to the big heaven kitchen or whatever, you know, saying, yeah, OK, there's a burritos over in the left.
And to the right, you're going to have a little champagne, but we can't have very much alcohol here.
You got to understand that.
This is heaven.
You know, you don't have anyone doing that.
So until someone like jumps up and does that, well, then they would freak out and they kill and try to kill him again anyhow.
But you know what I mean? No one's ever been able.
No one's ever been able to come back and go, yeah, look, it's no big deal, guys.
So that fear is always going to be there for everybody because that's really the only thing we know, you know, is ourselves, our lives cling to it.
You know, so I get that.
But to go to psychedelics.
But anyhow, I'll go along with this conversation and we can discuss it a little bit further.
But I found that a little peculiar, as you did, too, it sounds like.
Yeah, yeah.
The revelation that Rogers had used had used and have been using the psychedelic brew ayahuasca.
Oh, proceeded being selected.
And this is before he selected as NFL MVP two years in a row.
So ayahuasca is something that I've always wondered about doing.
I've heard about it. I've read about it.
I've listened to it. I've watched video on it.
And this stuff seems really cool because, you know what?
Just look it up when you get a chance.
Ayahuasca with an AYE ayahuasca.
And anyhow, the psychedelic brew ayahuasca, during his weekly appearance on the Pat McAfee show on Tuesday,
Rogers was asked by a teammate, A.J. Hawk, if he feared mortality.
Rogers responded that he no longer does cite in his use of psychedelics to help him get over it and his phobia.
So, OK.
But I appreciate and applaud Aaron Rogers' honesty on this whole issue.
You know, it'd be easy for him to remain silent and act like, oh, ayahuasca.
I've never heard of that or whatever.
But he's really going out on a limb on this stuff because he really believes in it.
Yeah, I think has to be commended to some degree.
Rogers responded that he no longer does cite in his use of psychedelics.
A.R.O.D.G. said it started around the Y2K fiasco that the world would end.
He thought, man, I'm only 16.
If the world ends, I can't accomplish anything I would like to.
That was his mindset.
So no wonder he's so damn good at what he does.
He was not really like, he wasn't like, let me think, like fear and like being put in the ground and just being no more
where you go to, where your soul, your spirit, all that goes to.
He was like, man, I can't accomplish what I want to because I'm not going to be here.
Right.
What a unique perspective and no wonder he's so successful, right?
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, so interesting. Interesting.
I respect him a little bit more after all that honesty, I can tell you that.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, anyhow, I've got this deal here that I found pretty interesting here, too.
Let me see here.
You know what?
I'm trying to figure out what story I want to go into, but maybe, OK, I'll go ahead and do this right now.
Younger corporate types don't know how to dress in the office because they've never had to go to an office because of COVID.
So now all these do's and don'ts of fashion and an office etiquette are showing up on TikTok and they're bringing in crazy amounts of numbers
because now all these children that will not children, but young adults that graduated are going to their chosen profession.
They literally have never been in a corporate environment before in an office.
And they don't know what to wear, what not to wear, what is business casual, what is business dressy, what is, I don't know, free for all Friday, you know, whatever.
And this is stuff that we could never predicted before the, you know, before the before COVID is we never even thought about that.
I mean, for God sakes, last couple of podcasts ago, we covered the smile school that somebody sucker and everybody going into.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
But that's pretty interesting.
And I've got my cat in here that will not shut up.
So if you hear a cat, that's my cat, one of them, and she will not shut up.
So every now and then you're going to.
Yeah. If I remember right, last week I had a dog go off.
Oh, yeah, you did.
Okay.
Actually, that was my son's girlfriend.
Oh, okay.
We're an animal friendly podcast here.
So yes, we are.
Yes.
So we love animals.
Yes.
We love animals, but never.
Hey, do you mind?
Hey, geez, that is the mouthiest damn cat I've ever had.
So I invite everybody on the show.
So that's right.
Hey, she has something to say.
It's probably saying stupid.
She's probably saying turn that shit off.
It's hurting.
That's what she says.
She's saying, man, you blathering fools, shut up.
Remember the Cincinnati Bengals?
Remember those delightful little fucks?
Yes.
Yeah.
Little Joey Burrow and his little buddies, Jamar Chase and all those fellas.
Well, when Joe Burrow was asked to, and I don't have anything against him.
It's fun.
It's fodder.
You know, I mean, except their idiot mayor and the stupid shit he said.
And some of the stuff that some of their players say doesn't make a lot of sense sometimes.
And why would you poke the bear?
Why would you poke the guy that is one everything?
But here's what happened now.
When Joe Burrow was asked, Madre, shut up.
Geez, that fricking cat.
Man, and look, I don't care if she's on the podcast.
She's really loud in my fucking ear is what I care about.
Yeah.
So, OK, when Joe Burrow was asked who is the best quarterback, he promptly answered Patrick
Mahomes.
When Jamar Chase was asked, you know, the receiver was asked the same question.
He replied, Pat, who?
I got it.
I got to pull this podcast over for a second.
All right.
One cat out in the hallway.
Podcast has won this round, at least right now.
Yeah.
Now she's on the hallway making noise.
So maybe we have a problem.
So when Joe Burrow, I got to go through this whole fucking thing again.
OK.
When Joe Burrow was asked who is the best quarterback, he promptly answered Patrick
Mahomes.
When Jamar Chase, their idiot wide receiver that likes to poke the bear, was asked the
same question, he replied, Pat, who?
What a cocky thing to say, huh?
You know, they have one shot at the Super Bowl.
Well, they had two, but one was a long time ago without this band of people.
But they have one shot at the Super Bowl.
And the only reason they won is because Patrick Mahomes made one mistake.
And the only reason they went to the Super Bowl was that.
And they couldn't even win against the Los Angeles Rams, who was a good team, but not
a great team.
So I don't know if they're exactly when we're over here.
Three Super Bowls and five seasons, five championship games and two Super Bowl rings.
And they're over there.
Well, Jamar Chase is over there throwing rocks.
You know, Joe Burrow isn't.
So a few days later, the Chiefs have their Super Bowl ceremonies going on.
When the homes put on his Super Bowl champion ring, he tweeted out, that's who.
I love that.
So, you know, Chris comments, it's pretty bold coming from a guy that isn't even the top of his position.
Actually, our tight end had more yards than Chase and a Super Bowl ring.
Now, our tight end tight ends traditionally do not get more yards than a top receiver.
It's not normally heard of.
Well, ours does because he's one of the best ever and he's definitely the best in his position.
And he's definitely better than Jamar Chase.
He gets a lot more yards, a lot more touchdowns.
And that is our tight end doing it.
You know, I mean, it's a really bold comment coming from him, you know, and not only does our tight end have more yards than him,
but he has two more Super Bowl rings than him and more appearances.
I've not seen a team that's 0 for 2 in the Super Bowl be so cocky.
Is that what happens when you, you know, when you have that you're so proud of that cuisine, you know,
that five-way chili stuff that they think is so good in Cincinnati?
Is that what's clouding their brain?
Or is it the Ohio River that are they eating fish out of there loaded with lead?
You know, a city that elected Jerry Springer as mayor
and now they got a guy that has a shoe permanently stuck in his mouth.
You know, if I was Andy, I'd just shut the fuck up, you know, wish the chiefs Patrick Mahomes a happy Father's Day and move on.
Little bitches.
So anyhow, I am suddenly looking at you, Rob, and seeing what you have on your plate.
I know you have plenty to say.
Yeah, yeah, I sent you that thing yesterday.
Yes.
Okay, down in southern Missouri, there is a relatively new, they call it a town.
It's more like a town center.
Mm-hmm.
It's called Uranus.
You can Google it.
I did Google it.
It's down around St. Robert, Missouri, on I-44 between Springfield and St. Louis.
It's actually part of old Route 66.
Yep. Isn't there a big travel center there?
Yeah, yeah, I think there is.
I know people from the city that's been coming down just to visit this place.
Because it's got a little bit of everything.
There's a fudge factory, there's like an old city jail, a zoo, a school park, a tattoo shop.
It's got trolley, it's got a little bit of everything.
Okay.
Well, I happened to know this gentleman that lives not far from there, so he's on the mailing list.
And they came up with a newspaper called Uranus Examiner.
And down below it says, probing Uranus deeper than ever before.
Wow.
No, you cannot make this up.
Breaking news.
Let me get my phone there.
The Wienerböbils slid into Uranus again.
One of the side stories, making people happy on Uranus.
Love advice, H2.
He seriously got this in the mail.
I just had to...
It's a great tourist attraction.
So if you ever get that way, swing in, check them out.
But yeah, they knew people were going to make fun of the name.
They knew it when I opened it.
That's funny.
That's very cool.
You have some more?
Pluto will complete the first full orbit around the sun since its discovery, Monday, March 23rd, 2178.
Wow.
It's that far away.
It popped up, so I checked it out.
Yeah, that's what they're saying.
Cool.
You know what?
We should have a big Pluto party.
Yeah, why not?
Little balloons and little Pluto sandwiches.
It doesn't have the rings or nothing.
Maybe little balls of meat or something that kind of look like a Pluto color.
Yeah, you can take toothpicks, put them in toothpicks.
They have little balls of Pluto's.
You take little balls of cheese and make them look like little Pluto's.
Put little toothpicks in there and you can have little balls of cheese and meat and call them little Pluto's.
Yeah.
All right.
So that's Tuesday, right?
No, it's March 23rd, 2178.
Oh, shit.
Okay, well, we got plenty of time to plan the Pluto party then.
Yeah.
Hey, I got an idea.
Isn't there a Walt Disney dog named Pluto?
Yes, there is.
We could have little Walt Disney Pluto dogs too.
You know what?
We have how many years?
We've got a lot of years to figure this shit out.
I'm sure we'll come up with something.
Yeah, yeah, like little Pluto cakes.
All kinds of stuff.
Yeah.
We could have the person that looks most like Pluto without any makeup on or I don't know.
There we go.
All right, yeah.
I know a couple that would be in line for that.
I know a few too.
Hey, you heard about Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg joking.
Well, they're not like friends or nothing and they kind of take jabs at each other all
the time.
I guess Zuckerberg formally invited him to a cage match because Zuckerberg is actually
fighting MMA now.
Oh, really?
I didn't know that.
I don't know if it's MMA or what, but it's some sort of kickboxing type martial arts
stuff and he's pretty good at it.
Really?
Yeah.
So, it's interesting that those two don't like each other.
They never have liked each other that much.
They've kind of been competitors and now that Musk owns Twitter and he owns Facebook, they're
kind of almost like rival companies.
Yeah, yeah, I can see that.
Yeah, but it's interesting to see where this is going to go.
See if they'll actually have some sort of a fighting match, some sort of a cage match
as they've been alluding to and joking around to.
If they are, would it be done for charity?
Wouldn't that be a big thing?
Wouldn't people tune in everywhere to watch this, to watch the two non-humans, these two
cyborg-looking fuckers fighting each other?
Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't know who to put my money on, to be honest.
Well, I'm going to put my money on Zuckerberg because he's already trained.
Oh yeah, good point.
Yeah, that's the only thing I can go by, but I don't know, Musk looks so weird, like he
would mind control Zuckerberg somehow before he even got near him.
You never know what kind of training he's got.
Yeah, who knows?
He's got money too.
Yeah, he's got plenty of money to go train and nobody knows about it at all.
He might be right now training somewhere, waiting to kick the shit out of Zuckerberg.
You never know.
Oh man, and out of the both of them, I think I like Musk a little bit more.
So I think I just, I want to see Musk beat the shit out of Zuckerberg.
Number one, I want him to prove that Zuckerberg will bleed red.
Yeah, yeah.
And I want to see Zuckerberg bruise to prove that he is human.
Oh shit, what's that over there?
Oh no, it's island of horrible jokes.
What do you call a bundle of hay in church?
Christian Bale.
Oh, yeah.
Swimming in toxic masculinity and wiping their ass with politically correct wash
rags.
Two douchebags in a microphone invade your ear holes in three, two, one.
Two douchebags in a microphone, raw and uncensored.
See behind the smoke show.
Watch as the douchebags get stung by a swarming beast.
Enjoy one of many coffee houses ordering our heroes out.
Watch Mark revisit Clinton, Missouri to claim his innocence for all the man shitter accusations.
Act now and get both high quality DVD sets and a free douchebag calendar.
Mark off the day with a douchebag looking at you.
Supplies are limited, so act now.
Then after that, maybe some mongoloided up something will come up there and beat the shit out of Musk
after he beats the shit out of Zuckerberg.
Like an escape gorilla would fucking break out of the zoo and right at the end of the match
where Musk just beats the shit out of Zuckerberg and he's lying on the ground bleeding,
then this escape gorilla grabs Musk and runs off with him into an abandoned home
and I don't know, like keeps him there and like fucking, and brutalizes him for three weeks.
Yeah, yeah, that's what happens in my world.
Yeah. Why not? Why not?
Have we nothing better to do?
Probably not.
So anyhow, you have some more stuff you want to throw up there?
In Singapore, all citizens and permanent residents aged 21 years old and above
are automatically included under the Human Organ Transplant Act unless they have opted out.
HODA allows for the removal of organs such as kidneys, heart, liver, and corneas
for the purpose of transplantation in the event of death from any cause.
So you pretty much have no choice if you live in Singapore.
Well, you said something about opting out. How do you opt out?
That I don't know. I'm not even hooked into that.
Well, okay, it sounds like one, when you're born, they throw your name in the barrel.
Yeah.
Okay. So as soon as you're old enough to change that, I'm going to look that up too
because I'm curious to see if they actually let you change it or if that's just the way it is.
It's like, look, dude, if you die and we can use you, we're going to use you.
Yeah, because here you have your choice. So I'm guessing over there you don't.
And I guess you do. Yeah, I'm going to have to do further investigation of that.
Yeah. Okay. You know who Ryan Reynolds is?
Yes.
Okay. You know that he will read you a bedtime story?
Will it?
Yes. Here's how it works.
Bedtime Stories with Ryan Reynolds is a 15 episode series where Reynolds reads new and classic bedtime stories
in an attempt to soothe your mind and soul.
Ryan Reynolds stated that we're happy to create a program with the express goal of putting people to sleep.
I like that. That's great. Like, hey, all we're trying to do is put your ass to sleep. That's all. Nothing fancy.
Yeah. I want like Ryan Reynolds stuffed dolls.
Maybe some Ryan Reynolds sheets, pillowcases. How about an RR Blankie?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And how about RRPJs?
I'll be over here smoking a cigarette. You let me know when. And I don't even smoke cigarettes.
You let me know when all this stuff's available so I can go get it.
Right.
Yeah. Yeah. Ryan Reynolds and his wife won't do that.
They're always badgering each other on Twitter and giving each other shit. They're just really happy people that are playful.
It's funny. And this thing here is just something, probably just some little offshoot project that they wanted to do.
And I think it's awesome. It's fantastic.
So anyhow, you know, one of these nights I'm going to look it up and just take a look at it and see.
So have you heard of the new float therapy?
No, I have not.
OK. Well, it's a new thing. Well, it's not new. It's been around quite a while, but it's gaining a lot of steam here lately because people are going back to work in the offices post-COVID.
All the stresses are starting to come back. People, you know, you know what I mean? People are starting to get more.
Yeah. So. All right.
Floating therapy is where they have this giant.
It's well, it's not giant, but it's a good size tub of water.
And it's so it's so salty that you have no choice but to float your boy.
You have no choice but to float. You can't not float in it.
All right. So what you do is they give you some apparatus to put around your eyes and something to go over your ears.
And I don't I don't even think they give you music. I think it's just you in this vat of salt water,
because I've been to places near the Virgin Islands where they tell you that you're not going to be able to swim if you want to,
because it's it has so much salt in it, the salt content so high that you're actually buoyant.
You're not going to be you're going to start floating.
Yeah. So this one of those deals where you put the apparatus on and you lie there and you float.
And it's usually anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half therapy.
And they say that it helps you unwind, relax, get rid of stresses, feel better.
All that good stuff that we should be doing regularly. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. That's that's pretty cool.
And to me, it sounds really cool. I know other people laughed at is that it's a ripoff.
Not to me, to me, something that like that sounds wonderful.
It's whatever helps you relax. I can see that helping me relax.
Because I love hot tubs, whirlpools, jacuzzis. I love that.
So I could see myself being in one of them if it's the right temperature and enjoy just enjoying the hell out of that.
So I thought that's pretty cool.
So you got a you got a story or two, Rob?
Here. Yeah, I know. Let's see here.
It's contract of working for.
He said Airways.
OK, let's see. Let me see what airline this was. Yeah.
What are we? OK, it's a story that I ran across this.
Contact worker for this airline.
Yeah, British passenger. What's up messages while she was on a flight?
Twenty three year old Hannah Smithers pleaded that she received the messages from the Airways worker whose name has not been revealed when she was waiting to board a flight from Abu Dhabi to Manchester.
Oh, well, and these tweets and these messages kept going throughout the.
And they never rest in the soon as I get to go out.
Yeah, it's crazy. But he.
She asked him how she got up.
You got her information.
And he told her she he went through or he went through the.
Airport system. Wow. Yeah, well, that's stockish.
Most of the information on the system.
Got her address, got her phone number, got everything.
And it was just a contractor.
Wow.
That's scary. So we can shorten that story up a little bit.
No, no, that's okay.
Wow. That's stock creation scary, honestly. Yeah.
That's what she said. She's 23 years old.
Why am I so she was very uncomfortable.
And I don't blame her.
No, I don't either.
Yeah.
Wow.
Well, let's see here. I was have you heard about new lab grown meat.
I read across something, but I didn't go into it.
What's telling me about. Okay. All right. Well, two startups now have permission to sell their lab grown chicken in the U.S.
The first approved by any cultivated meat in the nation.
The challenge meat production is bad for the environment with livestock generating 14 percent five of global greenhouse gas emissions.
The raise of animals just to slaughter them is also at the at the at the at the question.
Well, you know, and anyhow, yeah.
So in itself, not to mention often dreadful conditions in factory farms, which I agree with all that.
So cultivated, cultivated meat rather than coming directly from slaughtered livestock,
cultivated meat is grown from cells taken from living animals under the right conditions.
These cells multiply. And once there are enough of them, they can be fashioned into burgers, nuggets and more.
Because lab grown meat is more molecular molecularly identified.
I can't read tonight to the kind to the kind in animals.
It can be a better flavor match than plant based meat alternatives.
And in the decades since the creation of the first lab grown burger, the cost of production has fallen dramatically.
But it's still not cheap, it does say.
In December 2020, Singapore became the first nation in the world to approve cultivating meat, given U.S.
based startup eat just permission to sell lab grown chicken.
Now U.S. regulators have also given the green light to eat just chicken under its good meat brand,
as well as lab grown chicken made by upside foods, marking the startup's first approval anywhere in the world.
After its approval of Singapore, eat just didn't start by selling its lab grown chicken, the grocery stores,
instead it part partnered with local restaurants.
And you know what, that's what they did with the Beyond Beef.
Beyond Beef, before you could get it in any store or anything, there were restaurants selling it.
And I actually had one way before I could get it in any store at all, the Beyond Meat patties.
I got it at this place at Crown Center, I forgot the name of it, but it is a local fresh place
where everything is locally sourced and it's you know, yeah, so no GMO, all that stuff.
And anyhow, I had it there first.
And then it took, I don't know, maybe like a year, and then they started having it where you could get it at wherever,
like Costco's, Wal-Mart's or whatever.
Now Beyond Beef is everywhere, and there's even fast food chains that are partaked in it.
So, yeah, so anyhow, we will see where this thing goes.
There's a lot more to the article, but not enough that I really want to go into it any further.
It's just that it looks like lab grown meat is here to stay.
So, anyhow.
A small Missouri town is suddenly the third most dangerous in the state.
Oh yeah, what is it? What town?
Okay, well, according to this ranking, St. Louis, then Springfield, and then Nevada.
Nevada?
Nevada, Missouri, yes.
Huh, I didn't think anything happened there. Guess I'm wrong.
I didn't think so either.
I don't know why. I do know I have relatives that live over in that area, so yeah, that's kind of a shocker.
Yeah, that's the third most dangerous, according to this survey.
Huh, okay, well, would never guess that.
No, I wouldn't have either.
I really was under the impression nothing happened in Nevada, Missouri.
Yeah, I get me too. Maybe a few DWIs would be about it.
Yeah, that would be about it, because there's really nothing else to do there.
No, not really.
You know, Lady Gaga, remember when her dogs were the dog kidnapping?
Yes.
She had the dog walker, and someone came up there and dog-jacked them at gunpoint?
Lady Gaga, sued by the woman sentenced in connection to the theft of the singer's dogs.
Now, let that sink in. In case I didn't say it right, I'll say it again.
The lady that was arrested in connection with the dogs being kidnapped by gunpoint, sued is suing Lady Gaga.
Jennifer McBride, who returned the dogs after they were stolen, says the star failed to honor the no questions asked reward.
No questions asked? I mean, she is right, because they weren't supposed to ask any questions.
But she said she was denied the $500,000 reward when she divulged information leading to the recovery of her dogs.
Lady's dog walker, Ryan Fisher, was shot and wounded during the robbery.
Two days after the stick-up, McBride returned the dogs, soon after she was charged with receiving stolen property and an accessory to attempted murder.
McBride pleaded no contest to the theft and received two years probation.
McBride is suing for $1.5 million for not honoring the no questions asked and mental anguish and legal fees.
That's the legal system gone awry. But then again, she is right.
If you give the dogs back no questions asked, it's supposed to not matter even if you're the one that did it.
It's just like I just want my dogs back. I don't care what happened. Just bring them back. Just love them. I just want them.
So, meanwhile, the dog walker, Ryan Fisher, started a GoFundMe page after his RV died on his wellness tour.
So he's going down on a wellness tour on his RV and it died.
America's A. Rubes, if this guy gets over $10,000, he admitted in an interview that the pop star was taking care of him and they are still close.
We're on minute 17 of this 15 minute fiasco. Bye fucking bye.
That bitch that orchestrated it and was part of it should be in prison.
Not getting a dime. Her dog walker is getting taken care of by her.
He doesn't need to be doing a wellness tour in his RV.
Yeah, the whole thing just stinks. So, anyhow, let's see. Do you know boba tea?
No. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard of it.
It's bubble tea. It's the tea with the bubbles in it.
Okay, well there's been an explosion of it. It's been around a long time actually, but just recently it's just been getting like it's been going off the hook.
Just everybody loves it.
So, anyhow, up at the City Market you see the fucks walking around with it in their view.
I got this tea with bubbles in it. I got my regular cappuccino, so get the fuck away from me.
So, anyhow, Baskin-Robbins and Pete's Coffee both added it to their menus.
Boba tea has been around since the mid-90s, but recently its popularity has exploded.
Right now, boba tea brings in more than $2.4 billion annually.
Its projected sales by 2027 is to reach $4.3 billion.
California burger chain Jack in the Box has added several boba tea options.
All its teas are modeled after the brown sugar boba tea, which is supposed to be the most flavorful and like where everything was conceived from.
Me, I don't know that much about it, but it's supposed to just be, I don't know, people love it.
It's got that brown sugar in it.
So, anyhow, like I said, I'm not an expert on boba tea, but I thought that was interesting enough to bring it up.
Me, you know, every time I've tried boba tea, the brown sugar does sound great.
I mean, or at least it piques my interest.
Where, you know, me, when I've tried boba tea before, like I said earlier, it tasted like something gooey in my fucking tea
and I wanted to know what the hell it was.
So, anyhow.
Have you heard about the couple getting married that made their animals the ring bearers in their wedding?
No, no, I have not.
Okay.
A bride-to-be is asking if she and her fiance are wrong for wanting to have their dog and cat serve in the wedding party rolls that are traditionally taken by children.
The anonymous Reddit user who goes by the username IntrepidOffering posed the question to the Am I the A-hole subreddit,
an online forum in which people can vote and weigh in on comments after she received a not-so-enthusiastic response from her soon-to-be sister-in-law.
The Reddit user explained that her sister-in-law had a series of incredible painful miscarriages before she gave birth to twins Ava and Liam, now four years old.
So...
Alright.
Yeah, I'm trying to see where this fucking story goes.
You know...
I'm scrapping that whole fucking thing right there. Who gives a shit about that story?
I mean, the whole thing is they're wanting to make their pets as the ring bearers, right?
And everyone was giving them shit about it, but it didn't say whether they even did it or not, so I'm giving up on that fucking thing.
You know what? Everyone that listens to this podcast, I'm a little off tonight.
You know, I had a long day of having to do several things, and you know what? You're gonna get a bad one here and there, right?
But you're getting your money's worth. It's free.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Yep.
Hey, how a Quebec woman found a message in a bottle from like...
Oh, really?
Yeah. From 34 years ago.
Yeah, but, you know...
Let's see if I can find it here.
In a bottle.
Okay.
Here it is.
Alright.
A Quebec woman taking a walk on a beach near her cottage discovered a message in a bottle that had been thrown out to sea by a Newfoundland man 34 years earlier.
Trudy Shatler said she was walking with her mother-in-law on the beach near her Pagoccio cottage when she found a bottle on the rocks containing a note that was dated May 29, 1989.
34 years and one week before the day she found it.
Anyhow...
I was so excited, I mean.
What I'm looking for all the time is a note in a bottle.
Shatler told Saltwire, I guess Saltwire is a news outlet up there, Shatler said some water had gotten into the bottle so the note written on the back of an Export A cigarette pack was damaged.
Huh?
Shatler could make out that the bottle had been thrown into the water at Fox Point 10 miles off Port Le Chaux, Newfoundland, but she could only make out a few letters of the author's name.
Shatler posted photos of her discovery to Facebook.
They were shared nearly 200 times for her coming to the attention of Port Le Chaux man Rick Hamlin.
As soon as I see it, I knew the writing. I said, that's Dad's, Hamlin said.
So... huh.
Hamlin said his father Gilbert was well known for launching messages in bottles, always written on the backs of cigarette packs, into the water while out fishing.
Gilbert Hamlin died two years ago at the age of 72, so damn it.
Hamlin and Shatler's bottle is the first he knows of to ever be found.
Shatler said he will send the bottle to Hamlin, who plans to place it at his father's grave.
That's pretty cool.
What?
That's what...
Oh shit. What's that over there?
Oh no. It's the island of horrible jokes.
Ugh.
What do you call a bundle of hay in church? Christian Bale.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Hey, where'd everybody go? Where are the douche bags?
Oh my god, someone took a dump in the corner. Oh jeez.
Ugh, I'm glad they're gone. Let's just hope they don't come back.
Man, that smells.