1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,620 Peace, and welcome to the Taylor Healing Collective Podcast. 2 00:00:04,620 --> 00:00:09,760 This is a space where we discuss everything sacred medicine, motherhood, healing practices 3 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:12,840 across the globe, and transformation above all. 4 00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:18,360 It is my hope you take each story shared here and find empowerment in your own life, for 5 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:22,360 it is here that we educate the mind to liberate the soul. 6 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:47,480 I'm your host Taylor. 7 00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:54,160 Hello everyone, and welcome to Season 3 of the Taylor Healing Collective Podcast. 8 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:58,840 We're making some changes this season as these episodes are going to be available on 9 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:04,040 video and on the podcast, so if you don't have time to watch the video, make sure you 10 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:07,680 check it out on your favorite streaming platform. 11 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:15,480 So we had a ride the first two seasons, and there are so many changes going on in my life 12 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:19,000 right now, and I know the lives of so many others. 13 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,680 And you know, it's that period of growth that we have. 14 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:27,640 It's constantly changing, finding out more about yourself and maturing. 15 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:33,360 So I had an episode originally recorded, but over the past couple days I decided to wait 16 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:38,280 until you're ready to present yourself in the manner that you feel comfortable in, and 17 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:40,280 where you can express yourself best. 18 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:46,040 Luckily the babies are sleeping right now, so I have a little bit of time by myself. 19 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:53,040 So today's episode is going to be about my saddened return, maturing spiritually and 20 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:58,000 everything that I've learned over this time, especially as a parent. 21 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:03,680 I want to say that first and foremost as a parent, also though as a woman, as a human 22 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:05,480 being on this planet. 23 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:10,920 There are so many lessons that I've learned, and honestly none of it strays too far from 24 00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:17,840 what I've always known, but when you're learning something, this is why repetition is so important. 25 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:22,840 We have to keep doing things and learning the same lessons over and over and over again 26 00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:24,800 until we get it right. 27 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:30,920 So it's been really tough, but really easy at the same time because the things that I 28 00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:37,920 talk about and that I'm teaching, they're really nothing that I don't know, and now 29 00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:43,080 I get the opportunity to present myself in a different way and see myself in a different 30 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,080 light. 31 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:48,240 I don't think I was ever comfortable seeing myself as a spiritual teacher, but now that 32 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:52,480 I understand that's what my role is, I don't have to keep chasing other things and saying, 33 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:56,160 oh, maybe I'll try this or maybe I'll try that. 34 00:02:56,160 --> 00:03:00,880 But being here in this human experience, I believe you should try everything at least 35 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:06,480 once to see if it's for you to have the joy of putting your hands in something new and 36 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:11,200 saying, okay, I like how this feels or I don't like how this feels. 37 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:16,040 So I have a lot of things I want to talk about, but I did take some notes today so we can 38 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:21,960 kind of talk about what maturing through parenting and through a spiritual journey looks like. 39 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:27,760 So at the beginning of my journey, everything was so new and fresh because I had just stepped 40 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:33,960 outside of my parents' home and figuring out that there was a whole world outside of the 41 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:39,680 little small sheltered one that I lived in and things have really changed even more for 42 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:42,920 the past three years becoming a parent. 43 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:47,760 So I just wrapped up my Saturn return and if you don't know what a Saturn return is, 44 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:53,360 the easiest way I can put it is it's this period between ages around 27 and 30, I believe, 45 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:58,480 where you start to come to terms with the life lessons that you're supposed to learn. 46 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:05,120 You mature and realize where you should have boundaries, where you should start growing, 47 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,240 where you need to stop doing things. 48 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:10,840 And I have so much I want to share. 49 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:18,000 So last year, and I talked about this on Instagram a little bit, but I'll elaborate, 50 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:24,520 I was reached out or someone reached out to me about a spiritual teacher that they had 51 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:28,920 and I'm always curious what new teachers have to say. 52 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:30,840 I love new information. 53 00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:34,640 So I go on to listen to some of these teacher's lectures and they're really good. 54 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:37,560 He has tons of free content and information. 55 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:43,240 And the more I listen, the more I get intrigued into everything he's talking about. 56 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:48,160 And pretty soon after watching way too many videos, I found myself kind of falling in 57 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:52,840 the same spiritual trap that I did at the very beginning of my journey. 58 00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:55,480 And I call it a trap because it's like a trap door. 59 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:57,120 You want to see what's behind it. 60 00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:59,440 You're curious about the unknown. 61 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:03,280 But sometimes if you go too far, it's like Alice down the rabbit hole. 62 00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:04,800 You never stop. 63 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:11,000 And sometimes you have to come out and experience the real world again in order to apply the 64 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:15,800 lessons that you've learned and also to do things for yourself. 65 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:22,480 And I'm very grateful and I learned a lot from that particular content creator and teacher. 66 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:28,520 But I realized in all the time I spent consuming his content, I was not working on myself and 67 00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:30,200 my own things. 68 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:34,840 And I've always been a very spiritually and mentally aware person. 69 00:05:34,840 --> 00:05:41,080 So I realized that it didn't matter how much of this person's content that I consumed, 70 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:44,280 that nothing would change unless I changed. 71 00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:50,880 And being here and talking on YouTube or on the podcast is my way of growing. 72 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,200 You know, it's stepping out of my comfort zone. 73 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:54,840 I use to say, oh, I could never be a teacher. 74 00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:58,400 I don't have enough information when honestly, that's a complete lie. 75 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:04,720 I've spent over 10 years studying all different kinds of spiritual texts, different practices, 76 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:08,360 different backgrounds, and kind of found out that they're all pretty much the same. 77 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:10,360 I mean, they all tell different stories. 78 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:15,440 It's like playing a game of telephone or passing around the story at a campfire. 79 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,880 You know, everybody has their own version. 80 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:21,800 But it's time for me to tell my version now. 81 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:25,920 And you know, somewhere down the line, I know it'll help somebody else. 82 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:32,360 So being a black woman, I think is a part of my spiritual journey here. 83 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:36,160 And I don't think that that's talked about in this way very often, at least not from 84 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:43,640 what I've seen, because I grew up somewhere where my cultural identity was not really 85 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:46,160 celebrated or praised. 86 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:49,320 And it kind of faded into the background of who I was. 87 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:54,800 But as I've gotten older, I've also learned that where I was at the time helps me be more 88 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:58,880 open to all different kinds of experiences. 89 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:04,800 I don't like to put myself in one small box of, you're a black woman, this is your experience, 90 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,000 and this is it. 91 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:10,320 I like to say that this is the body that I was born into to do a certain kind of work. 92 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:14,040 And in doing this work, you're going to help awaken other people to see that they are more 93 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:16,320 than just their cultural identity. 94 00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:17,800 They are more than the color of their skin. 95 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:20,800 They're more than their experiences. 96 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:25,840 And I believe in learning things like that throughout time. 97 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:32,360 I have not only become more intelligent, but more emotionally in tune with myself. 98 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:34,800 I realize why I do certain things, my reactions. 99 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,880 I've realized things about my diet. 100 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:41,680 I've realized things about my relationship and the older I get and the more mature I 101 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:43,240 get with those things. 102 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:44,800 I don't play the blame game anymore. 103 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:49,080 I don't say, well, hey, it's mom and dad's fault or, hey, you know, this relationship 104 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:50,080 hurt me. 105 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:54,960 These were all conscious decisions that I made, but without that maturity, the decision 106 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,280 went one way when it could have gone another. 107 00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:58,960 And I can't get mad at myself for that. 108 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,280 I can't hate myself for that. 109 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,280 It's life. 110 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:02,280 It's how we learn. 111 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:06,480 You have to stumble several times in order to get back up again. 112 00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:10,960 And I'm okay with falling. 113 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:12,760 I always have been. 114 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:18,160 I'm not going to say that when I fell, and I'm speaking hypothetically, but when I fell, 115 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:20,080 it wasn't that it didn't hurt. 116 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:25,320 It was that I learned, okay, next time go over the next stone or this time take an alternate 117 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:26,520 route. 118 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:31,040 So becoming a parent, I think is another thing that has like opened my eyes. 119 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:34,920 And obviously I'm very new at parenting. 120 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:39,000 My children are about to be three years old and one year old. 121 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:45,300 And just watching them alone, I realized that they're my teacher, not the other way around. 122 00:08:45,300 --> 00:08:51,000 We are here to show them certain basic needs in life, but I learn from them every single 123 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,000 day. 124 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:56,640 I learned about things that I wasn't necessarily aware of when I was a child. 125 00:08:56,640 --> 00:09:00,880 I'm learning how to be kinder. 126 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:04,400 I'm learning to have a lot of patience. 127 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:08,720 I'm learning to tap into my own needs the same way that I'm learning to tap into my 128 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,680 child's needs. 129 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:15,040 And it's been a wonderful experience so far. 130 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:21,280 I won't lie that it's very rough learning someone else's emotions and navigating it. 131 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:27,360 For example, my daughter, she does not hesitate letting me know when she needs something. 132 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:29,640 My son was a lot different than that. 133 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:35,680 When he was a baby, I could leave him by himself for some time and he would be fine, but she 134 00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:38,040 lets me know when she needs me. 135 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:42,000 And I think a lot of this is reflective of the relationship I had with my mom. 136 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:47,160 My children live in a two-parent home with both of their parents from birth. 137 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:48,720 I didn't have the same thing. 138 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:55,440 My mom and my biological father separated at a very early age and then my mom was remarried. 139 00:09:55,440 --> 00:10:01,920 And I had a lot of struggles and issues feeling connected to her as our relationship grew 140 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:04,960 and as she went on to have other children. 141 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:11,120 Now with my children, I am a stay-at-home mom like mine, but sometimes I get a little 142 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,480 annoyed when she needs me all the time. 143 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:19,400 But I realized this is kind of healing that part of the relationship where I felt very 144 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,200 separate from my mom. 145 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:25,240 My daughter must feel really connected to me to be able to call on me like this all the 146 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:30,000 time even as a little baby because her needs have been met since the very beginning. 147 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,160 I was able to have a natural birth with her. 148 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:35,440 So we have been connected at the hips and she came out of my body. 149 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:39,800 We have not been separated for more than maybe a few seconds. 150 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:44,880 And my son, I had a C-section with him and we were separated for some time. 151 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:52,080 So I believe the way that both of their neurological path was developed are very different. 152 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:56,720 And that's something I'm learning to be okay with but also navigating my relationship with 153 00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:59,400 them in very different ways. 154 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:04,080 Watching my children grow has been very healing because I don't have a relationship with my 155 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,920 biological father at all. 156 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:11,040 I don't have a relationship with my stepfather and sometimes when I see my children with 157 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:14,360 their father and we're all together in the home. 158 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:18,680 At first I thought it was envy that I felt because they got to be with their father but 159 00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:25,520 honestly like it brings tears to my eyes because I get to see what it looks like now in my 160 00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:27,360 own home for my family to be together. 161 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:29,320 And that doesn't make us perfect. 162 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:32,240 That doesn't mean that we are without flaws or without mistakes. 163 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:39,480 But that little part of me that always craved to have my family together, I get to do now. 164 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:44,640 Also working through relationships and I'm going to have my husband on an episode. 165 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:49,080 It's been like a fight back and forth for me to get him to sit down and be on camera 166 00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:51,120 and talk with me about these things. 167 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:55,680 But working through a relationship even through the hard parts, like when all you want to 168 00:11:55,680 --> 00:12:01,560 do is walk away is another lesson I think that I've learned throughout this time. 169 00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:04,360 Things that I normally wouldn't have put up with as a teenager. 170 00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:07,720 Now I'm saying, okay, well, my husband is human just like I am. 171 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,360 He has feelings just like I do. 172 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:13,480 I might find them annoying at times or he might find me annoying at times. 173 00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:17,400 But choosing each other every day and then consciously working on ourselves and then 174 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:20,960 coming together in a relationship is how we continue to grow as a couple. 175 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:24,560 I'm not willing to just walk away from things as easily anymore because now we've built 176 00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:29,600 this structure and this foundation and it's like working on a house together. 177 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:34,440 One person walks away that leaves one person with all the weight of building brick by brick, 178 00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:35,440 layer by layer. 179 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:39,320 And yes, it can be done, but I think it makes the journey a lot harder. 180 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:43,200 And that doesn't mean that everyone has to have a two parent home with mom and dad. 181 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:44,200 It could be mom and mom. 182 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:45,280 It could be dad and dad. 183 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:46,280 It doesn't matter. 184 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:49,880 It's just coming together to build a structure. 185 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:53,000 I think it's always about partnership. 186 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:57,320 And I know not everybody has that in their lives, but I believe if we spend a lot of 187 00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:02,480 time analyzing the pain that we have and then finding healthy ways to talk through them, 188 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:07,560 to work through them, to speak consciously with our partners about how we're feeling 189 00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:11,400 about things, healing can start to begin and we don't have to repeat the same patterns 190 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:14,680 that created our lives. 191 00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:21,120 So let's move on to other things that I've learned. 192 00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:28,960 Actually I will say that I had a lot of experiences that family members did not have. 193 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:33,680 And a lot of it was based on privilege, the places where I grew up. 194 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:39,520 I could have gone to a school that was lower income in a predominantly African-American 195 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:40,520 neighborhood. 196 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:45,360 When I was really young, my stepdad took us out and moved us to a predominantly white 197 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:47,200 neighborhood. 198 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:53,480 And sometimes I believe that that took away from a certain experience I could have had, 199 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:57,640 but then it also added a lot to my experience as well. 200 00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:03,240 As I got older, I saw that there were things that people around me did not do that I could 201 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:08,120 do and that the only barrier between me and those things was the idea that that's not 202 00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:10,760 what people who look like me do. 203 00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:15,320 So getting older, there were things that I tried in that school. 204 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:16,800 They took us on ski trips. 205 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:17,800 They took us camping. 206 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:21,960 I think in the sixth grade, I jumped off a cliff for the first time. 207 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:26,000 And I can't tell you I don't know anybody in my family who has jumped off a cliff. 208 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:29,120 I've also jumped out of a plane, but that's another story. 209 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:34,400 And trying these things, I've never been afraid to go after the things that I want. 210 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:39,640 And the inspiration came from learning like there are no limitations except for the ones 211 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:41,840 that you put on yourself. 212 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:46,020 So in education and parenting, there's a lot of decisions that I know that are coming 213 00:14:46,020 --> 00:14:51,960 up for me that there are going to be a lot of decisions that I have that are going to 214 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:56,440 be based on things that have happened to me and decisions that I want to make. 215 00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:59,160 So let me give you an example. 216 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:05,160 Right now, my son is about a year away from pre-K. And me and my husband are also running 217 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:07,040 our very own business. 218 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:11,720 None of us have been or neither of us has been in the workforce since about 2020 when 219 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:16,760 we decided to both go into business for ourselves, which has been very rocky, but it has been 220 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:18,880 well worth the journey. 221 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:22,680 And one thing I notice with the neighborhood that we live in now, it's very similar to 222 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:24,280 the one I grew up in. 223 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:27,200 And I don't see many people who look like me. 224 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:29,800 And a lot of that is based on economic background. 225 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:35,920 A lot of it is based on things that they had in their home growing up that created the decisions 226 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:40,920 that they made as children and eventually teenagers and then adults. 227 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:43,760 So I'm looking at the decision. 228 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:46,960 We live in a place right now where there are some of the lowest test scores when it comes 229 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:48,680 to education. 230 00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:52,600 Now I've been on social media, so I know there are many ways to educate your child and each 231 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,000 path has a different route. 232 00:15:55,000 --> 00:16:00,360 Now because part of my journey is learning commitment and dedication. 233 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,000 And that is something that I've struggled with for a long time. 234 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:06,920 I'm kind of plagued with the decision and my husband of where are we going to send our 235 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,760 kid to school? 236 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:13,600 I think for a long time I thought that I would be the mom who would home school and 237 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:17,240 want to travel the world. 238 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:22,920 I thought there was only one way to do this and that meant moving off grid and I don't 239 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:24,960 know, just living a certain kind of lifestyle. 240 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:30,040 And now that I'm older and I've matured a lot, I see that long term I don't necessarily 241 00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:33,240 want those things anymore and that's okay. 242 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:35,120 So the decisions come up. 243 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,800 Do I send my child to public or private school? 244 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:39,760 Do I send him to a Montessori school? 245 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:43,720 Any decision I make is going to set up the rest of his life. 246 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:47,400 And I have to not only pay attention to the things that I want, but I have to pay attention 247 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:48,880 to his needs. 248 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:53,160 And then in addition to those needs, I have to pay attention to our business. 249 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:56,840 And then paying attention to our business, that means I have to be able to show up. 250 00:16:56,840 --> 00:17:05,960 And showing up is the hardest part, especially when we are full of memories and ways that 251 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:07,640 we've been for so long. 252 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:12,160 It's like you grow up in an environment and then you step out of that environment and 253 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:16,280 you don't know how to function in it anymore because you've lived life a completely different 254 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,120 way. 255 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:23,640 And for me, I stepped away from the whole formal education thing for a long time and 256 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:26,000 I was very fight the man, we don't need this. 257 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:33,080 And now as I get older and especially having a platform where I am advocating for education 258 00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:40,080 on plant medicine, I realize that more work has to be done than just talking about it. 259 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:42,720 You can't just be in the streets all of the time. 260 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:51,240 Sometimes it takes active cooperation and debating and advocating in order to make changes. 261 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:55,000 And I think we can get really comfortable and by we, I mean like people who are very 262 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:58,600 like anti the man. 263 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:02,320 Eventually you have to mature and see that there are other routes to take. 264 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:05,560 And anger is not the route to take sometimes. 265 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:09,960 You know fighting and saying what someone is not giving to you is not the route to take. 266 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:16,680 You have to go about this with a sense of maturity and kind of grow up beyond the ideas 267 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:20,600 that you had and find new ways to go about doing things. 268 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:26,640 So I say all that to say like going back to the whole education with my son thing. 269 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:27,800 I haven't made a decision yet. 270 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:32,000 Me and my husband have not made a final decision about what's going to happen with him. 271 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:38,080 But what I can say is I think it's really important as we mature that we start thinking 272 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:42,640 in the present rather than just the long term. 273 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:47,400 Being in the present means every day I'm paying attention to the things that interest my son. 274 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:50,880 I pay attention to the kind of time I'm spending with him. 275 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:54,280 You know I've gotten comfortable sometimes just throwing him in front of a screen and 276 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:57,120 I realize you're not challenging him. 277 00:18:57,120 --> 00:19:01,800 So for me it would be very easy as a mom with two children who's running a household 278 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:06,560 is helping a business to just give my son a screen because it gives me some time to 279 00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:07,560 myself. 280 00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:09,600 But I also chose to be a mother. 281 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:14,480 I chose to take on one of the hardest jobs in the world and that means making time for 282 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:18,760 myself, making time for my children, figuring out what their interests are, figuring out 283 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:20,880 how to help make them independent. 284 00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:25,200 You know especially like when the pandemic hit and I started seeing like a lot of milestones 285 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:28,800 I would automatically write them off as oh that's just like it's just a way for them 286 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,360 to group kids together. 287 00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:35,480 And now that I'm a little more mature and had some time to think about it I've seen 288 00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:43,640 that understanding what challenges your children may have even on a medical level can help 289 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:48,440 them so they don't have to go through the same things that we went through as children. 290 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:53,000 And making this decision now and choosing to actively help my child or do something 291 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,560 different or sit down and read a book with him. 292 00:19:55,560 --> 00:20:00,880 I'll even so last night and this is just like kind of tying in with it. 293 00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:06,760 I tried to tell my son a story like from fresh off the brain like not taking Disney and Moana 294 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:13,160 and you know not reading from my phone but I tried to actively use my imagination to 295 00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:15,600 read a story with him and it was hard. 296 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,080 Like my creativity was shot. 297 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:21,520 Yes I was a little tired because the day was over but I was thinking like I really like 298 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:26,920 when I you know long time ago when I would see movies of parents reading with their 299 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:28,360 children at night. 300 00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:32,280 I don't really hear about that anymore I don't see that but this is also social media which 301 00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:37,320 is like the new TV so you see what you want to see or what shows up in your feed or your 302 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,000 algorithm. 303 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:43,480 And I decided OK your creativity is something that you need to work on because in being 304 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:49,880 able to sit and be present with your child being able to make up a story to tell him 305 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:55,400 that's not only helping you become a little bit more creative and spend time with him 306 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:58,680 but it's also showing him creativity as well. 307 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:03,240 You know kids when you don't put them in front of a screening you just let them like use whatever 308 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:08,840 around the house as long as it's safe they have so much fun like sometimes I feel guilty 309 00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:13,800 when I see him just playing with toys alone and I'm saying well no you're actually giving 310 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:16,000 him independent play. 311 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:21,280 You're allowing him to figure things out for himself and sometimes it does involve climbing 312 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,520 on furniture. 313 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:29,240 Sometimes it does involve him being all over the place and being a little loud and running 314 00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:37,200 back and forth but I'm happy that I get to see him not drown his mind in screen time 315 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:41,480 all the time and don't get me wrong I think there are plenty of great educational programs 316 00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:50,080 for example we love Miss Rachel we love Tabtime but as a parent I think that it is OK sometimes 317 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:55,680 not all the time but sometimes to be the one who teaches your kids who brings that into 318 00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:57,080 their field. 319 00:21:57,080 --> 00:22:02,320 Now I also am someone who enjoys running a business it's difficult and it's hard I 320 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:06,400 enjoy a challenge outside of one role which is being a mother. 321 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:11,600 I enjoy helping my husband figure out new ways to get clients for us to expand and watching 322 00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:17,800 this growth over time has been like one of the most beautiful parts of evolution and 323 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:20,000 growing. 324 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:26,080 I got caught up in like conspiracy world for some time like well the government's doing 325 00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:30,080 this and you know maybe they're doing that and putting this in our food and they're doing 326 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:35,280 that and then when you step outside of like things that people are saying on your phone 327 00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:40,520 and kind of step back into reality you see OK this isn't really going on in the way that 328 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:45,560 they say it is and even if it is it doesn't really affect me. 329 00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:52,520 This about spiritual maturity I believe is about stepping into what is relevant to your 330 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:58,640 life applying it learning from it and growing from it not getting caught up in what everyone 331 00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:02,760 says all the time because there's going to be chatter all over the planet. 332 00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:05,680 Everybody is always going to want you to hop into their concern and what's important to 333 00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:10,720 them and what they should do and you have to decide what's right for you and that's 334 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:14,160 pretty much the overall lesson I learned all over this time. 335 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:21,200 You know I was raised in a go to school get a job work to live and die and thankfully 336 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:26,760 because I was raised in a more diverse area where I got to see different ways of life 337 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:31,400 and people live I realized that there are details in between these things you know where you 338 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:37,920 go to school it shapes who you are sometimes actually all of the time if you're homeschooled 339 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:42,400 if you go to a certain school like Montessori if you go to private school it shapes who you 340 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:48,840 grow into the location the economic background the money it takes it all shapes your career 341 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:54,040 things that you may choose later on in life learning challenges that you have or based 342 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:58,240 off of things that happen in the home things that are going on inside of you genetically 343 00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:03,360 and I used to write a lot of that off saying that was just something that people were doing 344 00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:08,640 to oppress us and it's actually something that could free us because when we know more 345 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:13,760 about ourselves we can help other people we can help our children we can help our families 346 00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:19,920 not repeat the same things and in learning new things we evolve getting a job isn't just 347 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:25,520 about working a nine to five you know learning entrepreneurship it challenge you challenges 348 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:29,800 you to critically think and that's something that a lot of people cannot do anymore and 349 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:34,760 then I'm coming in terms with it challenges you to think outside of the systems that are 350 00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:41,080 built for you and even in becoming entrepreneur you can create representation and I understand 351 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:45,600 becoming entrepreneurs not for everybody but humans are so amazing and they don't even 352 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:50,560 know it they don't know how amazing and how much information we can truly hold in our 353 00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:57,160 minds like nothing is impossible and to think that the man or whoever is limiting to think 354 00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:01,000 that that anyone can hold us back from the dreams and desires that we have because of 355 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:06,480 the color of our skin or because of our cultural background is limiting and I think that a time 356 00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:12,080 needs to come now because my generation is coming in as the new like 30 40 50 year olds 357 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:19,120 that we need to teach everybody now that we are the only ones who limit ourselves you 358 00:25:19,120 --> 00:25:24,080 know exploring outside of what our culture knows allows us to find new interest things 359 00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:28,280 that we might be good at that we never would have guessed before you know it opens up a 360 00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:34,400 new career path it opens up new interest with those interests we can also learn to enjoy 361 00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:39,040 different things in life more and I've read a couple of articles before that show that 362 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:43,440 people who go out and like hike regularly who go out in the nature who try things that 363 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:47,280 they've never done before who travel they enjoy their lives more because they enjoy 364 00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:53,280 their lives more that extends their lives and I think that a lot of people in my culture 365 00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:58,840 specifically have been taught that death is coming for them much sooner rather than how 366 00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:04,960 to live how to create a legacy how to continue life and show others how to live we think 367 00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:09,880 that we're just here to work live and die and that's not the case like I can tell you 368 00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:17,040 from experience that I have really lived before children I went out to see the world you know 369 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:21,080 I met people from all different cultures and backgrounds I've seen all different kinds 370 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:27,040 of spiritual practices I've jumped out of a plane I've gone camping I've gone hiking 371 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:32,160 I've done all of these things and for me it makes me feel more alive than ever to know 372 00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:36,120 that those things are out there and those are things that I can share with my children 373 00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:41,400 to know that I can have a will you know I might not have you know the assets and all 374 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:47,120 these things now but that I can have things that I passed down to my children and it's 375 00:26:47,120 --> 00:26:53,720 not limited to whether you know nepotism is going on in my family or if my father gave 376 00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:58,120 me something that I can give to my children that I can make these decisions and I can 377 00:26:58,120 --> 00:27:03,600 create these but doing the inner work is going to be the biggest part first because I can't 378 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:12,640 show up in the outside world if I don't show up here first so you know the Saturn return 379 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:18,240 it's a rough one because it'll make you reevaluate everything that you've learned along your 380 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:27,920 path it will make you look in the mirror and say okay these are the lessons this is life 381 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:35,960 the sun is not going to come crashing through the sky tomorrow and if it does so what focus 382 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:40,640 on the now don't focus on things that have been happening yet don't hold on so tightly 383 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:46,440 to the past and if you do there are plenty of methods in the world to help you get through 384 00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:52,760 this pay attention to your health because your health is part of how you live and if we don't 385 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:56,200 pay attention to those things and write them off is unimportant well we're shortening our 386 00:27:56,200 --> 00:28:02,920 lives right there we're stripping ourselves of the opportunity to fix things that we have 387 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:08,760 already deemed irreparable you know we can change these things we can extend our life 388 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:16,160 and I'm not talking about live forever and ever and ever but we can show our children 389 00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:21,760 different I know sometimes we think we're just like passing the baton like I saw a joke 390 00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:27,000 on tiktok where you know a parent was passing down the belt to the next kid as soon as they 391 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:30,520 were acting up it's like no we have to learn from that it was a funny tiktok don't get 392 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:40,840 me wrong but we need to learn we learn from the past and I had a discussion with my mom 393 00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:45,240 not too long ago where I kind of think she felt like I was picking at her parenting styles 394 00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:50,240 but I told her no I'm not you worked with what you had you did not know these things 395 00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:56,160 at the time I get the joy of getting to learn from you I get to see what you were lacking 396 00:28:56,160 --> 00:29:00,560 in or what you did not have and I can choose to do things different so you walked this 397 00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:06,240 path so I could walk it too and whether we're learning from parents who are around or aren't 398 00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:10,320 around I think that's like one of the most important lessons that we can take away no 399 00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:14,400 matter if your parents hurt you or not no matter whether you grew up and I'm broken 400 00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:19,280 home or if you were abused no matter what happened you went through those things so 401 00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:24,640 that you could learn and even if you have kids or not you get to take those lessons 402 00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:28,120 and you get to choose what to do with them you could very well hold on to them for the 403 00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:33,400 rest of your life or you could choose to release them and forge a new path you know our brains 404 00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:38,400 are extremely complex there are still things about the human brain that people don't know 405 00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:43,720 and because of that that means there is a whole area unexplored think about your life 406 00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:49,720 the same way you know there are areas and corners of this earth and of this experience 407 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:55,480 called life that you haven't even dared to explore yet so get excited because there's 408 00:29:55,480 --> 00:30:01,160 so much life ahead of you rather than spending time complaining about what someone isn't 409 00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:07,240 giving you go out there and create it I didn't say it was going to be easy I didn't say that 410 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:12,680 you know life was just one big party all the time life is balance it's a balance of work 411 00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:18,640 and play it's a balance of dark and light it's a balance of love and envy you know but once 412 00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:23,280 you learn that and really like ingrain that in your system that it's not just one thing 413 00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:29,640 there's seasons for everything then it becomes a little bit easier and this path that we walk 414 00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:35,760 you start to learn where the where the potholes are you know where the rocks are what rivers 415 00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:42,680 we need to go around in order to be better and do better so I hope that you all have 416 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:48,400 enjoyed the first episode of the third season I only expect the show to grow from here I 417 00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:53,680 will not limit myself in saying it's not going to be good because I still may have so many 418 00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:58,120 followers it's growing just like I am it's growing just like my children are like my 419 00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:02,480 relationship is and it will not stop it will go through its highs it will go through its 420 00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:08,680 lows but that is why we're here to live out this human experience to understand okay this 421 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:13,880 is it I came here to live I came here to feel my body and this human experience I came here 422 00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:22,200 to release these emotions I came here to learn that we help each other evolve step by step 423 00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:27,280 layer by layer brick by brick we are here to help each other grow on this path because 424 00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:33,320 one day we will be the ancestors we will be the people that we go to for guidance and 425 00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:38,520 answers and we're going to teach them the same thing that they teach in Disney movies 426 00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:42,400 everything that you're looking for it lives within you there's nowhere else you need 427 00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:46,600 to search for you could go out into the world and you know try to find fulfillment through 428 00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:52,600 all these other things but whatever you're looking for lives within you so I hope you 429 00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:59,920 all enjoy the show I have plenty of links below on information I have affirmation tracks 430 00:31:59,920 --> 00:32:04,520 the whole nine so check it out be sure to subscribe to the channel if you're watching 431 00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:08,920 on YouTube or follow the show on whatever streaming platform you're listening to for 432 00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:38,440 the podcast and until next time let lovely the way peace. 433 00:32:38,920 --> 00:33:05,880 I detach from the old I have a crown of success I am sure of what is coming and let the universe 434 00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:12,500 do the rest I don't know how I don't know when but I manifest what I want again and 435 00:33:12,500 --> 00:33:29,840 again I don't know how I don't know when but I manifest what I want again and again I don't 436 00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:36,840 Time is a dimension that we enter when we choose to align with self that's divine. 437 00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:39,840 It first exists inside of our minds. 438 00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:47,840 I don't know how, I don't know when, but I manifest what I want again and again. 439 00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:56,840 I visualize my desires, I create with intention, a new dimension where reality is in my hands. 440 00:33:56,840 --> 00:34:04,840 I don't know how, I don't know when, but I manifest what I want again and again. 441 00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:28,840 DING 442 00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:38,840 DING