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Good morning, good afternoon and good evening everybody.

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It's your girl Sonya McQueen with your mind, your body, your choice.

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I have a doozy for you today.

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So I love it when people reach out to me.

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I absolutely love it.

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And I had a question posed of me to surmise it.

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The person was saying,

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I've spoke often about family members distancing themselves from me or vice versa,

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me distancing myself from them.

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And how do I manage to keep going because they're going through the same thing right now.

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Family members don't talk to them.

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They, unlike me, was on drugs and made a lot of mistakes while on drugs.

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And she said that the last couple of years, she's got her life together,

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but nobody will give her a chance to show her,

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to show them that she's changed her life and how would I handle that?

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I'm going to be very honest, you guys.

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That's a very hard question for me because I don't really know anybody who's ever been on drugs

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that I had to deal with on a daily basis.

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I've known a lot of potheads, weed smokers.

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My best friend was a major weed smoker every day, every single day she smoked.

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But other than that, I've never known anybody to be on crack cocaine, meth, any opioids, none of that.

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As a matter of fact, myself, my daughter, and a friend of mine, we were all prescribed

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after having major pain or something, a major surgery, an opioid to take.

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And we all refused to take it because we see the effects from TV shows, not even from real life.

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But what it shows that these pills can do to you and how addicted you can become to them.

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So if anybody wants to chime in on this, I don't mind this being a two-part series.

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You can hit me up at Sonya.

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Oh, no, you can't.

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You can hit me up at Lead by Motivation.

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That's LED by Motivation07 at gmail.com or go on my website, www.leadbymotivation.com.

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And my phone number and my email is up there.

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You can send me a note directly from the website.

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But anyhow, I do want to say this.

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You know, sometimes the friendships we make outside of our family ships are going to be

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the most important relationships we have.

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And that's unfortunate, but it's true.

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God gives us all a family.

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Born to a mom and dad.

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Maybe you have siblings.

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Maybe your parents have siblings.

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So maybe you have aunts and uncles and they have kids.

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You've got cousins, their parents, so your grandparents, and so on and so forth, right?

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Sometimes they're not the best people.

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Sometimes you are born into chaos or disdain, unhappiness, abuse.

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Everybody isn't born into the Cleaver family.

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And if you've never seen Leavitt to Beaver, I'm just showing my age.

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Everybody's not born into the Walton family.

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The Cosby family, the happy-go-lucky moms at home or dads at home.

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Everybody sits down and eats dinner together.

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They care about your grades and they care about what's going on in your life and you

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sit down and have these conversations.

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That doesn't happen in everybody's life.

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I've never been shy to say, my mother, we joke about it now, but my mother never cooked

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me a meal.

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Ever.

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My mother never told me she loved me when I was young, not once.

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I had an older brother who I was more afraid of and went out of my way to not do things

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wrong because of him.

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And he didn't even live at home once I got like 12, 13.

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He didn't live at home, but he would come there often.

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And he's the reason, probably, that I never drank, that I never had sex, that I eat well

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in school once I graduated game on.

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But never did drugs because I always feared what his reaction would be and I didn't want

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to disappoint him.

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But I often think, what if he wasn't there?

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What if it was just me and my mom?

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And I had all this freedom as a little girl and I had grown men trying to talk to me,

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you know, because I was a shapely young lady.

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Actually, I was small, very small, but anyway, guys are guys, I guess, that perverts back

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then that I didn't see it.

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But he did.

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And he shut that down a couple of times.

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As an adult now, I made it clear several podcasts, a lot of my family does not talk

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to me.

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You know, rumors about me, which I'm not going to get into, but they have eliminated probably

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80% of my father's family for my life.

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And for once, 100% of my mother's family is in my life, but it's backwards, you guys.

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But anyhow, it's the rumors and the cutting off of relationships.

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But I'm going to tell you guys something, God has a way of still fulfilling your need

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for humanly love.

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He has a way.

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It might not be your auntie.

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It might be the person that you met that is now your counselor that keeps you off those

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drugs.

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It might not be your mom and dad.

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It might be your neighbors who have taken a liking to you and think you're the sweetest

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thing in the world because since you've cleaned up, there's been nothing but a wonderful person

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looking out for other people.

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It might not be your siblings.

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It might be those friends you met in church or at the grocery store.

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He has a way of giving you an entirely new family, but not a blood.

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When I moved to Florida, I still didn't have my crack together.

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I made it clear.

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I was very immature.

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I was mature, but I still was trying to get things together.

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I met my husband, my now husband, when I moved to Florida.

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I was already making a major change in my life already.

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He just helped it along.

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It was like God dropped him in my lap and said, here you go.

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This man is going to help you in this new path you're on.

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Being with him gave me an entirely new family.

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His aunt is my aunt.

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His cousins are my cousins.

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His siblings are my brothers and sisters.

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On top of that, I had these awesome friends I've met who I genuinely love and they love

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me.

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Now let's go back to when I said 80% of my dad's side of the family doesn't speak to

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me.

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Does it hurt?

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Something it used to.

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It used to.

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But sometimes you get used to disappointment and it doesn't hurt anymore.

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But this family I have now, I would be devastated if they turned their backs on me.

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You know why?

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Because God gave them to me.

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That family, it was just through birth.

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It was an assignment.

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These people are divine connections.

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Divine connections.

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So I'm going to say to you.

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Write a letter.

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Try to speak to them.

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Let them know, hey, baby steps.

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Give me an inch.

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I won't try to take a mile.

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Just let me show you that I'm not the same person I was three, four, five years ago.

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I'm a totally different person.

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Give me a chance to show you.

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If they are not willing, pray.

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And then wait because I guarantee you if you don't already have other references in your

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past that you could be utilizing as family and friends and sharing love with because

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you're concentrating so hard on your birth family.

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Pray and God will bring you.

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Sometimes family is not.

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You share.

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The ones who.

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Hurt you hold and they hold yours.

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Because even when you're sharing with your family, they won't love you sometimes like

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your friends and other people got bring to you.

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I want you to really quickly just take a moment and think about the abused kids.

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You know, parents lock them in rooms and put them in cages and.

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Don't allow them to eat and beat them.

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And.

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They don't love them, they don't love them.

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That kid by the grace of God gets out of that situation.

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Maybe they're rescued.

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You know, maybe they're rescued and then they're given a new family and they're going to be

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so terrified.

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They're going to be so scared that now this person is going to beat them and they might

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even do things like.

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Replicate in their bed in their clothes, you know, steal food in the middle of the night,

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you know, the family wake up and they've already went through a whole bag of apples or a whole

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pack of lunch meeting, the whole thing of bread, but that family has patients.

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They know where they came from.

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They know what that child's been through.

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They already knew before they got it was going to be up mountain battle.

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But eventually that child.

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And they see while this person hasn't been me called me out of my name, locked me in

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a cage, put me in a room, made fun of me.

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And eventually most kids will start to come around.

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And they'll start to honor that love and revel in it and maybe even become a stronger, better

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person and build other relationships and have that foundation of love.

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And they know they can depend on.

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They never forget their parents, but they forget their parents.

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Because this is life and they have now the family through the body.

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God didn't give them their blood, think of it the same way.

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We're born into that family.

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Maybe they treated you great and you did some wrong things and they turn their backs and

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they are now not wanting to deal with you at all.

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At all.

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There's nothing you can say or do.

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They just don't want to be bothered with you.

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But then you open your heart and new people take you in.

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To their hearts.

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Not literally into their homes, but into their hearts.

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And you see that love and only you see that it's real.

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And letting your guard down towards other people.

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And you know it's genuine, you know your laughing and you're smiling and you're visiting your

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calling family.

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About your blood family.

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And it's okay.

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It's okay.

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You guys, like I said, if somebody else has another response, I'm more than willing to

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have a second part of this podcast.

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But in the meantime, it's me, your girl, Sonia McQueen.

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I hope everybody has a beautiful day and you know you could always find me and where to

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find me.

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Take care.