Good morning, good afternoon and good evening everybody. It's your girl Sonya McQueen with your mind your body your choice. I
Want to talk to you today about fear
Me and my friend Paula we had a long discussion about fear how you know
It's it's something that resonates in us from us by us. It's not downloaded in us
It's often a learned behavior because you're not born with fear
You know it's something we pick up along the way and some of us have fear so bad
It causes anxiety and it causes other issues
And a lot of people have to be medicated
Because of it and then some people you know we look at them and we think their fears are absolutely ridiculous
Oh, you're you fear, you know, they're phobias you fear grasshopper you fear clowns
You fear what you fear of plants and
To us it might come across as ridiculous, but to them it's real ingenious. I
Don't fear many things, you know, I don't like heights at all
I'm the type of person if I was on the even
Second but third four fifth imagine me being on the 10th floor of a hospital and standing close to one of their big windows
If I look out I automatically think I'm falling out of that window
I'm the person that window is automatically gonna break even though. I'm not touching it
It's just gonna break in a gust of wind. It's gonna suck me out and I'm gonna die
I'm also I
Have great fear of drowning even though I don't go to the water
I have a huge fear of drowning and falling
But those are of course like I said self-made, but I won't get on a roller coaster
I won't get on anything that goes higher than I'm able to jump off and land on my feet
So those are small fears of mine
But what I fear bigger larger
Is loss of love
So if you've listened to my podcast previously, you know that I don't have the best relationship with everybody in my family
Some I do some I don't
Three decades ago a rumor was started about me and I'll just throw it out there again
If you haven't listened that I was on drugs and the rumor was started because I gave up a child for adoption
and I guess
The person who started the rumors like who would give up their child for adoption if they're not on drugs so
Told everybody that I was on drugs and most of them of course believed it and
They alienated me because of it even though to this day this person denies it. I absolutely know it's true and
even this person to this day treats me funny and
and
Because of that and because it has happened almost all my life. I have a fear of loving
Before I met my husband I would date and if I got really close with the guy and I felt any
Anything in my spirit that is like, oh, you're gonna fall in love. I
Would get rid of them
If a guy told me I love you
Even worse I want to marry you
I'm putting on track shoes. I'm lacing them up and I am running. I'm getting rid of that
Relationship even my friends my girlfriends. I love you so much sis. I
Didn't like it
Now I'm not gonna lie sometimes. I'd be like I love you too, but that would also be my opportunity to
Exit that relationship and I didn't even realize I was like that
Until about 10 years ago
The fear of being loved
By somebody who felt as unloved as I felt is
Humongous because most people who felt unloved
Run and will do anything for love. I
Didn't do anything for love because I didn't want it. I didn't understand it
I didn't know why people would even give it to me
except my kids
They were the exception to everything so this morning I woke up
It's 6 30 I didn't wake up on purpose because we traveled and I was exhausted
so my plan was to sleep till 8 but
the sun came up and my body was like no get up and
Instantly I started thinking about a family member
who
Every time they tell me they love me I cringe because I don't think it's true
They'll say that but then they'll say other little
Snipe things to me and they've done enough for me to know that's not love
But sometimes people tell you they love you
At a fear of you not loving them or you're not believing it. I
Hope that makes sense. So I might say to you. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I really I really like that. I like that a lot
But I don't like it. I'm only saying that because I don't want to hurt your feelings and lose you out of my life
And I think that's why this person tells me they love me even though they should
Even though they should I've never wronged them. I've never done anything but be immature when I was younger extremely immature which caused me
caused me great grief, you know having to give up a child because of my
My immaturity
You know living from place to place to place the place the place the place because of my immaturity
not because I was on drugs not because I
Was imprisoned not because I was doing things wrong but live in my life and it's crazy when people
Notice that about you, but they never correct you
They never had that talk with you. It's just judgment and disdain and it doesn't have to be like that
You know, whatever you fear especially when it comes to communication
I
Promise you at least eight out of ten times your fear is bigger than the situation itself
You are forward thinking an outcome before you even give a person a chance for
Them to give you an outcome, you know
We think how's this person gonna feel about this and what are they gonna say about that and we can play out an entire
Scenario in our heads an entire scenario
With an audience of one we are the person we're talking to we're a bcd and e
We're all those people and we're just playing it out in our heads and because we know everything
We just let it ride instead of confronting things what I learned
over the last several decades
Is no matter what if I confront something right wrong or indifferent. I'm letting it go
I'm letting it go
You know, I told you guys once I try to speak to a family member who who started this rumor about me and and
And did so many other nasty things that I really didn't put together until you know one day I sat down
I thought wow they did this to me and this and this and that is not love
You know, and I tried to talk to the person and and the more I tried to talk they would cut me off and
Tell me I'm wrong and that's not true and this isn't true like I don't know my own truth
And one thing I've learned I told you guys I used to be a liar. I don't lie
I'm not going to make up a whole story about you and there's only me and you talking and I'm telling you this story
But I'm lying like you weren't there like you don't know
But that person's fear of being
Recognized for who they were
Was so great that they would rather continue the lie
And then think I'm just gonna say oh, okay, you know, you're right. I'm wrong
No, we both know I'm right and all your fears doing is causing a bigger wedge between us instead of just saying you know what I did
Maybe I apologize. Let's move forward
I know better I'm doing better or
I was going through something or I just apologize or okay. I did it
And that was this many years ago that would piss me off, but I would accept that better than
Telling me it never happened and you don't know what I'm talking about and constantly cutting me off when I'm trying to tell you something
That bothered me
You know
But that person's fear of being recognized and seen
For who they were or who they are
Was greater than them wanting to fix an issue or rectify your problem
But I promise you guys fear
Will steal your future from you
Living in fear will eliminate your future
Because as long as you walk around in that fear and with those
those
great things that are keeping you from moving forward in certain areas
You're robbing yourself. You're robbing yourself of your days. You're robbing yourself of your hours your minutes your seconds
in your future
Living today and whatever you're fearing let it go
If it's a conversation you need to have try to have it. I I had somebody reach out to me
It's been about a month and they didn't want to
Talk about it on the podcast or anything, but they were saying
Well, what happens when you know for a fact?
There's somebody who's done terrible things to you and you know for an absolute fact
If you try to talk to them, they're gonna shut you down. They're gonna call you a liar. They're gonna tell everybody
What you said what you did
And you're positive about this. There's no
I'm forward thinking you absolutely know this person's like that
I said, how do you absolutely know if you haven't even taken that step?
I said you have to take that step just like I did
And if that person does everything you said at least you knew at least you did what you were supposed to do or better yet
Write it down and send it to a more important person
Write it down and send it to him or give it to him and walk away
You've still released it
See, I didn't get a chance to release everything because I kept getting cut off
But at least you released it. You write those words down and you send it to them
They're gonna read it. They might be angry, but at least you're getting it all out uninterrupted
One or the other and she said you know in another message she was going to do that
She was gonna write it all down and send it
But whatever it is you guys
Whatever is gripping you whatever your fear is whatever is keeping you from your
Today and you're still living in your past. You've got to pray it away. Let it go
You've got to live in your future
Don't wait for yesterday to come and it's already today
Start moving forward
All right, this is your girl song in McQueen
I am led by motivation. That's led by motivation.com
Or you can email me at ledbymotivation07 at gmail.com
We always get back to you and if you want to be on the show you let me know and if you want to get our newsletter
You let me know. I'll gladly add it is free nothing
Nothing cost you anything but a little bit of time and it's positive time. So why not give it up?
All right, take care and if you want us, you know where to find us