Good morning, good afternoon and good evening everybody. It's your girl Sonya McQueen with your mind, your body, your choice.
So happy hump day. Hump, hump, hump, hump day. It's a beautiful day here in South Florida. I had a visitor knocking on my back door. It was a huge iguana.
If you follow me on Facebook, I'm sure you've seen the picture. But when I went to the door, he didn't want to come in.
So today I want to talk to you about when all the curse words start dropping. You know how you can be in the best mood. You're singing, maybe you're dancing, you're feeling really, really good.
You're waving to people, you're smiling, giving thumbs up, clapping for everybody. And then one person does something significant or other.
And all that is out the dang on window. I spoke about this before, but today it wasn't me. I've seen somebody else from beginning to end.
That wasn't part of my family. Just.
I'm going to be in the right place at the right time. So I went to go get my hair cut as I said today.
And while I was getting it cut, I got about 4 inches cut off today. While I was getting it cut. There's a nail tech. I actually go to a barber shop to get my hair done to get it cut.
I go 4 times a year. That's the only time I really go to the shop to get my hair done is those 4 times to get my hair cut.
So there's a nail tech that sits in the shop as well. She was doing somebody's nails and every time I'm there.
I don't really hear her speak, but I know she's speaking and I know she's speaking in love and kindness to her customers because they're always laughing and smiling and and she looks at them in their eyes and I'm not going to lie to you guys that would irritate me after a while because I need you to do my nails as we talk.
Don't stop to look at me and get some camaraderie going. I'm always in a hurry. So I don't like all that extra time because you feel like you want to look at me while we talk.
But I digress. So she was talking and they were, you know, like I said, they were being very loving with each other is my assumption because they were smiling and laughing like I always see her.
I always see her happy. Well, the young lady who was getting her nails done had to sit up in this chair.
The nail tech went to go pick up her food. She had ordered some soup from this Jamaican spot in the plaza that she works in.
So she goes to pick up her soup and when she comes back in, she has went from all mine, you know, all loving and kind to she's heated. She's mad. She's on 10. She is fit to be tight.
You know why?
Because there was another lady in the shop and apparently if you get soup, you don't have to stand in a line. You can just go to the front because the soup's already there. They're going to put it. I don't know if it's already in containers.
They're just going to hand it to you. You go pay for it.
But there was a lady in there today who felt like she was cutting and she got mad. So she ran up on the nail tech and was yelling at her and cursing at her and calling her every name you could think of.
And the nail tech was calling her a liar. The lady said, oh, you pushed me. The nail tech was like, you're a lie. You're a complete lie.
And I cannot do. I can't imitate voices, but just imagine everybody's Jamaican except me. I try to do voices no matter what nationality. I try to do. I always sound the same. So I don't do them anymore.
So anyway, the nail tech was really upset and the lady who thought she cut her off.
Told her she was going to kill her. She said she was going to the car to get her gun and she was going to kill her with her nine.
And the nail tech said, you're not going to do shit. I understood that fully. You're not going to do shit.
And she's telling this story and she's loud. I mean, she's loud. She's yelling when she comes back to the shop to tell the story.
The first thing I did was look towards the door to make sure she didn't get followed in. All right, I don't see anybody coming in with no nines.
I'm thinking, Rich, you got to hurry up and finish blowing my hair out and cutting these in so I can get out of here.
But the the nail tech while she was telling the story, this lady who was sitting under the dryer was listening and she started egging on the nail tech.
She wasn't going to do shit. She had nine, nine teeth in her mouth. You should have slapped her with that nine.
You should go find her if she's still over there and tell her to show you this nine. She didn't have no nine, nine teeth.
Just going and going and I'm thinking, oh my gosh, that's what you tell somebody who says somebody just threatened to kill him.
And of course, the nail tech was getting more upset as she talked.
I should go see how she's a liar. She's a liar. I did not cut her. I did not push her out of the way.
She was mad because they gave me my suit before her food was ready. So on and so forth.
I just did a podcast two, three days ago and it was confrontation versus condemnation.
You can condemn her in your head, but you don't confront people like that. You just walk away. I hear you. I hear you.
I didn't hurt you, but I understand why you feel that way. Have a good day.
But now the nail tech is mad and the lady under the dryer is giving her two cents and it was just different people in there.
Mostly people who work there, given their thoughts and all I was thinking is I got to get out of here before this lady come in the shop.
But then I said, listen, this is a new day. People really do get mad if they think you're cutting them off.
People get mad when you walk in front of them and they feel disrespected.
People get mad at people they don't know and do mass shootings now left and right.
They get in their vehicles and run through groups of people just because.
You think this lady wouldn't go to her car and get a gun by feeling disrespected and you're talking crazy to her.
You've met her label of crazy. Yeah, I see it happening and you cannot allow anybody to push you to go get killed.
You guys, this is a new day. And when people start dropping those words now back in the day, it was kind of funny to hear people curse.
You know, I'm not big on cursing for some reason. Yes, the day I was dropping all kinds of words, but I'm not a I'm not big on cursing.
If you listen to my podcast, you might hear me say dammer hell sometimes.
Anything bigger than that. I'm usually quoting something or somebody.
But when you start hearing people dropping those F words now saying shit now and MF I'm going to do this and that they mean it.
Some people do talk out of fear, but fear makes you even more crazy.
You're afraid somebody's going to get one up on you before you get one up on them. You are prone to react quickly.
And over the top. You know, they used to say, bringing a knife to a gunfight.
Now everything's a gunfight. You bring in fists.
Don't work in a gunfight anymore. We have to learn how to deescalate situations. So what you're tough.
So what they don't know who they messing with today. Who cares?
Is it more important for you to show you pick the wrong person to mess with?
And then your family is trying to figure out how to bury you and where to bury you or how long to keep you on life support or how long do I have to visit you in the hospital just because you had a point to prove.
Is that more important than just telling somebody you write you got it.
My apologies, ma'am. My apologies, ma'am, you know, and leaving it alone.
Something about me, I know, I know I can fight. I know I can't. You know, I'm older now.
These young people probably drag me up and down the street. Thank goodness. I'm not trying to find out.
These young people talk crazy now. You got it. No problem. I just smile. Sometimes I act like I don't even hear you.
I was in the store one day and there was this lady. I posted this on Facebook. It's been months now, months.
But there was this real cute little girl and she was sitting in the basket part, you know, where parents pushed their kids at the top part.
And the little girl smiled at me and I said, oh, you are so cute.
And her mother, who was standing about 10 feet down, getting something, runs over there. Get the fuck out of my baby face.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you don't be talking to nobody's face. Just on 10, you guys.
If you could see my face right now, I was making all the facial expressions and everything, but she was ballistic.
She told me she'll stab me. She'll break one of these bottles. She'll do this. She'll do that just because I told the baby she was cute.
And all I could think is, number one, mental health, a need for it is so real.
Number two, there are so many undiagnosed, mentally ill people walking the streets or diagnosed and not doing the right thing.
And number three, I could grab something off the shelf to bust it and cut her up before she could even say another word to me.
Grab her by her neck, throw her on the ground, whatever.
I chose to smile at her, shake my head and keep it moving.
I wasn't trying to find out today whether she was about that life.
It's not my business as she is or not. That's her baby. She want to lose her mind because somebody gave her baby a compliment.
She's got that right. Eventually, either A, somebody's going to take the baby from her, B, you know, she'll see the errors or see none of the above.
But it wasn't worth it for me to show her you ain't going to do nothing.
You think you about that life? I'm about that life. Why would I try to prove something that's not even true? I'm not about that life.
Just because I know how to throw hands don't mean I'm about that life. I'm not.
If I can't de-escalate a situation, something has went really wrong in my life and I'm really in the wrong place at the wrong time.
If I cannot find an escape route, if I can't figure out, okay, how am I going to get out of this and be okay?
Something's not right. Now, back in the day, I was all about who you talking to, laughing in their face because I wasn't about many words.
I was about all that. But this is a new day, you guys.
De-escalate. Don't match somebody's crazy with your level of crazy. It's not necessary.
It really isn't because at the end of the day, if you're at the store and you got some crazy person talking crazy to you, I say crazy person.
I mean, you know what I mean. So they acting crazy and they're talking crazy. You didn't know that person before you walked in the store.
And even if it bothers you, you might not even be able to picture that person in another week. So what does it a-l-u-to walk away?
My friend sent me a video the other day after my confrontation versus condemnation and it was a guy, I guess he called somebody out of their name in the grocery store.
And the dude was like, say that again, say that again. So the dude who said the word swung a basket, one of those handheld baskets at the other person and that person beat the hell out of that guy and walked away.
Now, I looked at that video and I thought, hmm, should have walked away from the very beginning. Now, my husband probably would have done the exact same thing.
But I was thinking you should have done that from, because what if on the way down that guy hit his head?
You're defending your honor because somebody called you a name or called somebody with you a name and now you've killed them.
Or you've maimed them. You've put them in the hospital. You've hurt them bad enough for somebody to call 911.
What if all those blows you were given to him upside his head? What if they cause some kind of effect?
The judge isn't going to hear or care that he called you a derogatory name. He's not going or she's not going to care.
All they're going to care about was your reaction, how you met words with violence.
It just doesn't work anymore, you guys. It doesn't. Somebody call you a name now. You act like you don't hear.
I'm just keeping moving out. If they keep, if they're following you and I don't know what to tell you because I don't know how I would act.
But I do know and I do believe words really don't hurt me. I was telling my husband, even when I used to get in the fights, people could talk all day long.
They could say whatever they wanted to say as long as they didn't touch me. You touch me in any kind of way. All bets are off.
Back in the day. Now, and for the last decade or two, I've been so mature. I don't even roll in areas that happens.
But nowadays, you guys, it doesn't matter where you roll. That could be your life. So how are you going to handle it?
One of my daughters is a teacher. Okay, they have these shootings in schools. How is she going to handle that?
My other daughter is a nurse. You know, people going into clinics and offices and hospitals now doing things.
I run. I go out in the mornings, you know, people around here, they just randomly not around my neighborhood, but you know, in this world, just randomly shooting at people.
My husband, he owns a couple of clinics. What happens when something happens at his clinics? One of his sons is a transporter.
The other one he's in college and football. It could be anywhere at any time is my point, even when you're mining your own business doing your own thing.
So what we have to learn number one is everybody should learn the active shooter. Everybody what to do. Run, hide or fight and put that in your everyday life practice.
I see something come in my way. Do I run? Do I hide? Or do I have to stand and fight? Because sometimes you have to stand and fight.
Sometimes you just have to fight whether you want to or not. But don't put yourself in a situation where you have no choice but to fight because you didn't know to walk away.
The lady in the shop today was dead wrong for telling that lady to go back and tell the lady show me your nine.
She could have been setting her up for the end of her days.
What you want to do is de-escalate. I understand you're upset but listen, you got your soup. Go enjoy it. Go enjoy it.
Don't let that lady steal your joy. You were happy before you walked out of the shop. That's the whole plan with so many people now just to steal joy.
You're going to give it to them. You're going to just let them take it. And now you're mad and you're on 10 because they're mad and they're on 10 or better yet.
Maybe they got over it. That's just their personality. Some people are just like that. They threaten. They're loud. They're obnoxious.
That doesn't mean you have to suck all that energy and like you putting your mouth on a dang on exhaust pipe.
Don't suck that in. Don't let that energy be your energy.
Learn how to de-escalate and walk away.
You want to hurt somebody who's mad for no reason? Smile and tell them God loves you.
God loves you. Have a good day. I'm going to pray for you. All right then. I understand. I see you in the words of my friend. I see you. No problem. You got it. You got it.
Oh, okay. Yeah, I understand. Use all that. But when you start acting just like them, seven times out of 10, it's not going to go the way you think it is.
All right. It's your girl, Sonny McQueen. I just had to hit that real quick because it was real. It was real, you guys.
I wish you could see my haircut. I think I'm going to post a little video of the first two minutes of this podcast.
Have a great day on purpose. I am led by motivation. You can find me at www.ledbymotivation.com.
That's my contact phone number and email. Have a beautiful day.